mumblings...

Was standing on the MRT..on the way home just now...
Listening to MP3..giving stares to people who were elbowing me...
Looked up at the advert running along the top portion...And voila!!

I saw yandaokia's pic there! hahaha LOL...
His Bintan tourism pic...For thos of you who know which pic I am talking about..
It's the greenish one..with a family sitting in a boat..all donning life jackets...
Will load it up if I can find it..
He's supposed to be the "father" in there.. aahha...LOL...

Was smiling to myself ... =)

========
November Rain started playing on my MP3...and thenGlenn popped up in my mind!
Somehow remember him saying that he used to like this song alot and would play it on repeat mode throughout the night sometimes...

Hmm...I got this fact correct hor?
Hmm mm...or am I wrong?

Anyway, messaged him the moment the song started playing..

Didn't reply..haha..

========
In a small company..everything you do seems to be scrutinised by others..
It's ok if you get constructive criticism..
Then you can learn from your shortcomings & grow...

But if the views given stem from narrow-mindedness and pettiness...
Then I think I'd rather give it a shove out of the window..

Received some comments about how the lucky draw was conducted for the D&D..
Some were not happy about staff who were stil lon probation being able to take part in the lucky draw...They proposed that next year, only confirmed staff can enjoy the lucky draw & take paart in it...
2 managers also agreed to this suggestion.

Hello???? Anybody there???
Staff on probation is not a part of the company ah? Staff on probation is not considered a staff ah?? Gosh..I was seriously appalled when I got the feedback..
And I nearly fell off my chair when the 2 managers actually agreed unanimously with this staff's suggestion...

The world doesn't revolve around you only yah...Take some time to look at things from other people's perspectives...try not to jump the gun and maybe the world will be a friendlier place..

This incident marred my otherwise nice day..

==========
Had lunch with Joseph & Joys.. haha..
My vendors..and sort of friends now...=)

Soba & tempura for lunch...soba & um..sausages for dinner.. ahha..
I'M NUTS ABOUT SOBA!!!

the waiting game

we spend all our lives waiting...don't we?

on a simple day...we wait for..
the bus, the MRT, the taxi..
our food to be ready, the end of the workday, bedtime..
we wait for the hawker auntie to give us back our change for our food..
we wait for our turn to tap the EZlink card on the gantry sensor
we wait for our turn to board the bus, the train, the taxi..
we wait for our favourite TV programme to start on the telly..

what else do we wait for?

we wait for our payday and the day where we can go shop to our hearts' content.
we wait for the rain to stop and the sun to shine on us again.
we wait for the clouds to dissipate.
we wait for that special someone to appear in our lives..
we wait for christmas to arrive..
we wait for our chance to win the lucky draw or hmm .. maybe TOTO?

day in, day out..it becomes a routine..
it becomes natural..
it just becomes part of you...

we wait to use the washroom..
we wait for the movie to start in the theatre..
we wait for our friends to come meet us somewher..
we wait for our dreams to be fulfilled..
we wait for someone to call..

gosh..how much longer do we have to wait?

all our lives I think...

the shell at work...shell performance!!

Had a simple appraisal done on Monday..over lunch at BK...

Same things again which popped up..good things remained good..areas of improvement still remained well...areas of improvements...

Shall start with the good ones 1st...I am..
- a great co-worker and a team player
- diligent & committed
- passionate (har?? nobody has ever said I was pasisonate about work before! hahaa lol..)
- organised & systematic
- able to listen & willing to be teachable
- adaptable and flexible

Ok weak points...I need to..
- be more vocal & communicative
- be more solutions-oriented
- think out of the box more often and be more creative (kaozz...I don't think I can squeeze my brain for anything more liao lor...)
- be more assertive
- be more decisive

So how do I improve?...
Hmm..actuallly I really don't know leh...Been pondering over my weak points for ages liao..
And well..I have asked my bosses...both current & past..they can't give me much of an aswer as well..
Kaozz..all some of them said. Was to say "read more self-help books" or..."just learn to speak up more"...

Hmm mm...

bored at work..opps!!! blogger was calling out to me...not my fault!!!!!

I thought the speech on Sunday was quite interesting.
Everyone is going through a revamp of image...since last year I think...
A revamp...to 'keep up with the times" and of course to engage the youngsters more..

restaurants..jack's place, delifrance..the jewellery stores..SK, Tianpo, Lee Hwa..
shopping malls..think this is everywhere haha..schools..even NTUC..
And now the government too...

Quite alot of interaction, candid jokes, use of multimedia..
Don't recall seeing that last time..Previously it was just talk and talk till the end of the alloted time..stoic and serious and no-nonsense with the occasional joke only.

He was warm and friendly, with a ready smile touching his lips.
Serious when he needed to, light-hearted when he needed to as well. Quite different from his predeccesor and his predeccessor's predeccessor. HAHA lol...am I speaking in tongues here?

==========
Parents in Genting again.
Past 2 nights of self-cooked dinner was wonderful.. aha...

Soba with grilled salmon on Sunday night...with vege soup..
Mushroom pasta with grilled honeyed chicken yesterday night.. haha..with salad for a healthier feel..

Wonder what to cook tonight...gotta see what I can salvage from the fridge later...Fried Mee Sua maybe?

==========
Chloe was talking about her lack of eloquence and the degeneration of her grasp of the english language..

I think I'm like that too..only worse...hahaa..LOL...

==========
Bad night yesterday..Couldn't sleep well..
And got woken up by ahoboy who called at 1245am to tell me he has touched down.

Gosh. Superbly zombified now...and no mood.
Haha..as you can tell I'd much rathe rbe blogging than working..aw man!!
Terrible me..

==========
waiting...

will blog about waiting tonight...

a little bit...

a little bit upset.
no matter how atrocious you usually are.
sometimes, not all jokes are funny.
and sometimes, even the most docile lamb can get angry or irritated.

james heng irritated me today. how he did so i will not elaborate. Lazy to type out our conversation.

But I sms-ed him after our conversation ended abruptly.

Me: "Don't be so mean can? Treat others nicer lah."

And the dumb response I got was: "I treat who bad? You?"

I did not reply.

Whatever. Play dumb.
You helped me. Yes I agree.
But no need to be so xiao zhang about it yah..

Jen also helped me.
And she was so nice about it.

=========
a little bit tired...
rushed to suntec after work..had to sing appointment letter with my new employers...
forgot about it and wore my 3-inch heels today...rushed like mad...

so now feet aching like mad too.

i timed myself. at almost full speed for most of the way..including walking down or climbing up escalators..
It took me 15-17 mins to get from city hall mrt to suntec tower 3.

Die...think I will lose more weight when I start work there in mid-Sept.

=========
a little bit hungry...

waiting for my chicken to grill nicely...

waiting for my pasta to come to a boil...

waiting for the pasta sauce to get heated...

=========
a little bit disoriented...

am thinking how to plan my exit from this current place...
and how to do the relevant handovers...
but to who?? I am the only mktg person now..hmm mm..

=========
a little bit irritated by my PC as well...
kena virus...

a dialogue box keeps popping up every 5-8 mins or so...
telling me that i kena spyware and asking me if i want to download some funny thing...

=========
a little bit bored...

so am gonna watch TV while having dinner...

some mindless entertainment will do me good i think... =)

sigh..!!!

singaporeans really love to complain.
(disclaimer: am not saying i don't hor...)
(in fact i am complaining right now..haha lol)

=========
ok...back to work. just came on to say that.

will talk about the ntional day rally tonight if i can remain awake.. haaa....

Super long entry....and yes..no pics....HAH!

I just woke up..
Surprisingly..I don't feel that extremely zapped out or anything...aching abit here and there...but on the whole..I feel quite good actually.. haha..

I slept at 530am yesterday...Spent 21 hours awake yesterday...

Got up at 830am and left the house at 930am to go for Glenn's church wedding...
It was at the Church of the Holy Family over at Katong.
Been ages since I've stepped into that church. In fact, the last time I stepped into it was before it's renovation...when it was still the old building...

But it felt good to be there again.
I dunno, I am always in awe when I step into a sacred place of worship..be it a Christian church or a Catholic one, a Chinese temple, a mosque or a synagogue...
And I will always tear in any sermon or church proceedings...well, come to think of it..sometimes in a Chinese temple too! haha...
And yesterday, I was in awe again..and well yeps...I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I watched the weddings proceedings.. haha

Bopian. Emo person. aha...=p

It was lovely.
The decor. Lovely white flowers..adorning the bench aisles...
The people. His wife's an eurasian...so the peeps from her side of the family are really quite beautiful actually.. ahha...
The ambience...

Popped by Conrad Hotel for their luncheon. And it was the 1st time ever that I've had a 9-course Chinese wedding LUNCH....haha..
The food was good. The place was lovely as well.
The music was great. And the person delivering her speech dedication was absolutely hilarious...
Kudos to her & her wit...=)

Didn't manage to stay throughout the lunch though. Had to rush back to office to collect things & prepare for my D&D at night...
And so, I left at 2-plus...

Kind soul of a Devin dropped me off at my office. Signed in at the Security Office.
Went up to the Executive toilet to change back into casual clothes.
Went back to office to clear some last minute mails...
Waited for boss to come & pass me some items for the D&D...

Finally called a cab and went down to Hilton at 4-plus or 5pm...
Was carrying so many things...gosh...damn unglam...
Big red plastic bags somemore.. haha....

Reached the hotel. Went straight to the function room...
And spent the next 1-2 hours running around. Aiyoh!!

Briefed the event I/C on last minute changes. Ran through the sequence again.
Briefed the emcee on last minute changes.
Briefed the banquet captain on other minute details.
Briefed the models on what to do.
Ran around placing party packs on all the seats.
Prepared the flower petals for my CEO's grand entrance.
Set up the reception counter.
Went through the music line-up again.
Tested lighting & sound.
Blah blah blah....

Hahaa...show finally started.
Beginning was smooth. Some hicuups here & there along the way.
Emcee kept apologising for some things he forgot to do.
But it's ok lah...been doing events since my uni days. No event will go 100% according to plan.
Such last minute & impromptu hiccups or changes makes it all the more fun & exciting.. ahha

There was much fun..much laughter and everything went well.
It felt great definitely. Why?
Cos when you see your sole project coming to fruition on a high note, WOOHOO Damn it feels great!!! =)))))
Huge happiness at seeing it from birth & conceptualisation all the way through planning & execution & finally to its closure...

Of cos, it felt good to be able to help bring forth something that brought much fun & laughter to so many others in a single night.
Kathleen sitting next to me was laughing so hard at a point in time that she was tearing.. haha LOL...

Project close on a highly successful note = I IS VERY HAPPY!!!!
(haha..in Blinky Mummy's fashion...)

Eric & I went over to St James after the event. Funny. Cos Jason invited me there..and well..I don't quite know Jason that well.. haha..anyway....

Finally reached there around 110am and went to join Jason & some others who were already there in Power House.
Jason was so sweet. Kept my bag in a locker...went to get coins when I didn't have any..
Poured me drinks..entertained me... haha...

He left after awhile to join another group of his friends..
And then it became abit weird lah cos I didn't quite know the rest who were there liao...
So me & Eric both left Power House after awhile...
Went over to Dragonfly & then to Bellini's...then sat talking at The Gallery..
Popped by for a late night supper & another long chat session at The Station at 3-plus...
Then went back to Dragonfly..

Gosh. Left the place at 445am. Zombified.. haha.
Surprisingly, as I told Eric as well, I didn't feel so stoned. In fact, when I reached home, I was still wide-eyed.
Maybe the adrenalin of rushing around the whole day kept me going haha.

And oh yah. It was the 1st time in my life that I went cheonging in a black dress.
Was lazy to change out of my D&D outfit.. ahha...

Kind Eric sent me home..though he stays in Yio Chu Kang..hhaa..felt abit guilty..but he offered....so What the Heck I thought.. hahaha =p

Didn't drink too much though but I mixed alcohol...from red wine & beer at the D&D to hard liquor at St James..
So now tummy abit upset at me. Haa...

After a week of feeling blue and feeling kancheong about the event...
Yesterday's adrenalin rush is still having its effects today. WOOT WOOT!
Am heading for a quick shower now...and then heading out to visit Granny...

And then after that...yes...I am gonna do something which I have never done in my whole 27 years of existence...
I am gonna catch a movie alone.

YUPS!! 881...
Here I come!!!

(Zi lang Zi Bua, Gam Zeng Buay Sua..)
Love this song.. ahha...
Will post up the MTV later on...

Have to go rush now!!! Took too long to type!!! hahhaa

yawn..just woke!

Requests for more pics...haha...but sorry lah..me not a pics person leh..
haha..plus I am not one to tote my camera around 100% of the time.. aha...

Maybe I should start doing so hor? Then I can post more pics whether with me in it or not...haha

;p

=========
Xiao Bai,

If you're feeling sad & blue..
If you're feeling lonely & small..
If you're feeling

You know there's an auntie (chio one actually heh!) somewhere out there..
With a pair of listening ears..
A nice (though bony) pair of shoulders..
And of course a LOVELY smile...

Available for you...

Haa hahahhaa....hugzzz!

LOL...

Gosh..Patricia & I really don't have much fate..
Arranging a lunch date with her is as difficult as shoving an elephant into a fridge (Now where have I heard that one before???)

Today is the 4th or 5th time we're cancelling our lunch appointment..
From postpone due to rain...to postpone due to last minute meetings...
Last minute boss want to have lunch with department..
Then postpone cos of rain again...

haha...
Postponed again to next week...
Wonder if it wil be rescheduled again..haa..

friends...relationships...

it used to frustrate me and distress me...
even as recently as last year...
when you wanted to be friends with someone...
but the other party didn't seem to want to...

much like how a little child would pout or throw a tantrum...
if a peer would not want to share his biscuit with him..
or would not hold his hand while in a school line-up..
or would not want to be "friends" with him..

and it finally dawned upon me that well..
you can be good with some...but you can't be good with everybody...
very much like how you can please some..
but you can't please everybody.

so if for the longest time...if you speak to someone..
and you get mono syllable replies...
or if you only get nods of the heads without any eye contact even..
then perhaps it's high time to just let it be...

some things are just not meant to happen.

ok, it took me awhile..
maybe i am just obstinate..
maybe i am just too eager for people to accept me...
maybe i care too much about how people see me...

but i'm learning..
i'm learning...
to put it crudely and crassly...
fuck it if you don't like me..

haha..perhaps i'm not those born with a "everybody loves me" star...
so i'll just spend my time nurturing those relationships that mean so much more..
caring for those people who appreciate it
and loving those who have stood by me all these while...

tuesday...

What do you do when you're not feeling too good and need a booster?

Go for a run...

And then plonk yourself in front of the TV...
Start watching a Korean drama whilst eating dinner...
Whilst oogling at the cute guys in the drama...
Whilst trying to decipher how to read the Chinese subtitles...
Whilst trying to hear the Chinese & korean words meshed together....(dubbing standards have really dropped)

And of course...
Whilst drinking veggie soup...
Lovingly and painstakingly cooked by your mum...

Food for the soul...

=========
I don't quite understand the notion of "collecting" friends...
Hmm mm...or am I just a prude?
What's the fun of adding strangers to your network?

Is there fun collecting thousands of little avatars & images so that you can call them virtual friends?
Hmm mm...

And it's not teenagers that I see doing this...
Even guys older than me are doing so...

Why ah?

=========
Something absolutely hilarious happened today...will touch on it sometime later....
If i manage to unhook myself from the TV..heh

=========
Ok time out from the virtual space.
Will dive into the reel world now...
And watch my Lee Dong Jian...

tearducts in perpetual function

Being taken for granted
Am I being taken for granted?

Think for some situations and for certain persons or groups of people...yes I am..

Does it come with habit?
Does it come with familiarity?
Does it come cos I am chin chye sometimes?
Does it come cos sometimes I bother to make an effort while others don't?
Hmm mm...I dunno...

Whatever it is, it definitely ain't feel good.

I was chasticised for taking some for granted at least on two occassions last year.
It sure made me feel sad. And it took me awhile to get over it.

Tables are turned this time round but the other party doesn't see it from my point of view...
So how now brown cow?

I can only smile sardonically to myself.
Said my piece in a nice enough tone and was told to stand in the other party's shoes instead and think from that person's perspective.
Was spoken to in a self-righteous tone.
One which I have heard previously and one which I absolutely detest to the core.

What can I do if the other person doesn't see it my way?
Doesn't see it my way or maybe doesn't want to see it my way.

Whatever.
Keep your self-righteousness. Keep your pride. Keep your egoism.
Keep your imposing tone.

I am always at the losing end anyway.
Whether right or wong.
Think a perpetual white flag is flapping about my head.

Anyway, have my thoughts ever mattered?
I wonder.

You chasticised me horribly last year and claimed I did something terribly wrong.
You shouted at me.You made me feel bad. You even refused to see me.
And now, you are doing a similar thing. No, you brought it a level higher actually.Wonder if you even noticed the hypocrisy in it.

I wonder.
I seriously wonder.

upset

It's raining outside.
It's raining in my room as well.

Je pleur tout seul.
I cry all alone.

Oh no wait.
I cry alone with naught but my shadows to accompany me.
With naught a movement but my heaving chest.
With naught a sound but my sobs.

Oh no wait.
They are but silent sobs.
They are but jewels for those few seconds, till they melt away into my pillow.
They are but a tangible product of my emotions, only no one sees them.

Oh no wait.
No one sees them.
No one hears them.
No one at all. Tout seul. All alone.

upset.

fuck lah. been crying so many times since early July.

Tai Sui Nian?? Not a good year?
The horoscopes say it's supposed to be a good year.
Oh yah. I forgot. The key word is "supposed to be".
They did not say "will be".

Emotionally estranged?
Is there such a phrase?

So aware, yet so clueless.
So warm, yet so cold.
So near, yet so far.

I seem to be going to work on Monday's with swollen eyes.
Hope it doesn't get to be a routine.

I penned down my thoughts in a word document.
Though I know I won't send it out.
How long will it sit in my hard disk before I show it?
How long?

No.
I don't feel good.

National Day

Spent 4 hours at the beach. Lovely time although it was packed to the brim...with bawling children & hordes of foreign workers of which nationality I shan't say but you can guess lah hor? ...haa..

Spent the 1st hour reading the papers...
Tried to nap for the 2nd hour but the din was kinda disruptive...
Spent the 3rd & 4th hour in the waters.. haha...needless to say...fingers & toes were wrinkled by the time I came out...

Red nose, red shoulders & even a red chest now... haha LOL...

But I had a happy happy day yesterday!! =D
Woohoo! hahaa....

==========
Yes, one more day to Saturday!!

==========
Xiao Bai..nice to hear that you're part of NDP...in a new location somemore...
Good good..social contribution.. haha

==========
Ok, back to work...see lah...no MSN...
Feel so disconnected & so out of the world...

Need to blog abit to retain my sanity haha...

my 8 of 8

Why is it that whenever I plan to go running....
Something happens to ruin my plans...
Happened yesterday.
Same thing today.

Was in office till 9pm.
Spent the whole day today hekping to craft out the company's mission, ,vision & value statements.
Well...6-7 hours at least..

Part of the time was spent running out of office on the pretext of settling some event errands...
Well...was in Suntec for round 2 interview with govt agency 1.
Will elaborate later...

Feel kinda hypocrital..
Here I am...crafting all these statements which will hold true for the company for at least the next few years...and there I am going for interviews on the sly.
Mentioned this to ahboy and he said..."Well, that's just life.."

=========
The 2nd round went alright..
Am surprised at how they conduct their interviews..it's so...informal..
More like a chat session than an interview...
Compared to even NTUC...this is totally not stressful at all..

Was interviewed by the...hmm mm..I think top 4th or 5th man in the organisation...quite a big shot considering they employ at least 1100 staff in SG.
And it was just like a casual chat session..much like one which you would have over coffee...

I would have to say I was impressed..at their openness and frankness..and also the easy camaraderie amongst staff...well, at least amongst those that I saw...

They called me within half an hour after my 2nd round interview ended.
Said they're keen to offer..
Will offer sometime early next week...hmm mm...let's see how it goes..

If I take it up...I will be a part admin, part policy-writer...
Very different from what I've been doing..
Totally not Mktg. ha.

=========
Govt agency 2 did not revert at all since last Friday.. haha LOL...
Maybe the Heads who spoke to me during my 2nd round didn't find me suitable haha...
Considering how short the interviw was.. ahha....=p

zzz

If LHUB was considered scary...25 people quitting in 7 months..an average of 4 per month.
Then well..my new place is sacrier....11-12 pax in the 2 months I have been there..

Gosh...

Am involved in the setting of the company's mission, vision & values...
Feels weird..when I am the only exec around..plus, am the ytoungets in the company at um...2 months old?

=========
bro called from San Diego just now using Skype...aw man..he's more technologically advanced then I am now.. ahhaa...lol...

to think I was the one teaching him how to us eMSN just half a year ago..now he's onto skype...and i dun even know how the hell that works... ahhaa...

=========
am tired..zzz...

=========
govt agency 1 called yday for a 2nd round next monday..
called again today to change it to tomorrow...
hmm mm...=)

=========
MSN is officially banned in my office now. Even the web access one is not accessible....grrrrrrrrrrr

=========
heading off to go do some work....to prepare for the meeting tmr...
And also to prepare for my interview...

more musings...

I have to say the casting done the Secret is very apt.
From the leads to the supporting & even to the cameos...
Spot on spot on..

I like Anthony Wong a lot...
To me, he's just like the Asian equivalent of Sean Connnery or Antohny Hopkins or the "soon to be getting old" George Clooney...
He's to Chinese movies what they are to Hollywood.. haha...

More charming with age..
Great acting capabilities...can do a whole myriad of roles & characters...

=========
If I hear "Umbrella" one more time...
I am gonna freak out...

Bloody dumb song...

=========
Bleeding gum...=(
Dunno what happened...
Been like this since morning...

Maybe I brushed too vigorously this morning??

=========
cough med...drowsy...
off to bed...

ladybugs...

also affectionately known as ladybirds...

gardeners welcome them fully..

as they help to get rid of pests & insects..

unassuming little creatures..

ladybug rattles

after some...

pinches...
squeezes...
massages...
proddings...
latherings...
and some persuasive skills...

I am now $600 poorer...

Hate it when I get so easily persuaded...

Facial package..
bleah!! hahaa.

Time to save again...

======
career..
health..
face..

priorities for the moment.

======
was watching a programme for expectant mothers on channel 8 just now.
pretty interesting & informative..not that i need it now lah.. haa...

but it's still good to have some general knowledge...
erm..right?

======
it's so leychey now to do I-banking...

so many security devices...

3 banks = 3 security devices...

myriad of feelings..Secret

Highly recommended show...
I'm not a movie buff.
I don't even know shows are upcoming or showing till I happen to chance upon an ad or someone tells me about it...

I didn't know what the hooha was about the movie "Secret"...
Only khnew that Jay Chou was acting in it.
Dang, didn't even know that he wrote the story & he directed it as well..
His first effort.

And a mighty good one at that I must add.

Humour, romance, sadness, angst, thrill, anticipation, excitement, happiness, frustration, wonder...
So many feelings...
Captured in 100 minutes.

Great show. Very very nice...
Must watch.
Bring your tissues...for the ladies I mean...(and gents maybe? haa.)

Been a long time since I was so emotionally affected by a show...
Started to cry again when I was in his car and about to get off to go up to my flat.

========
sick..
nose stuck...
cough..
sorethroat...

do you?

do you know...
my fav songs?
what i like to eat?
what I don't like to eat?

do you know...
when i cry?
when i smile?
when i laugh?

do you know...
when i'm sad?
when i'm confused?
when i'm truly happy?

do you know...
when i'm hurting?
when i'm angry?
when i'm scared?

do you know...?

of smiles...frowns and sighs...

SMILES

• Was walking along Tanjong Pagar Market yesterday when I saw an uncle...complete with wrinkles & a full head of white hair..He was happily slurping on a Cornetto...just sitting on a stone bench...under the hot sun..licking his ice-cream...the simple joys in life..
• Had my fav minced meat with salted fish rice today...interesting lunch discussion on gays & their fav hangout places in SG...and of course, we touched on boss and his preferences..
• Had a bonding time with myself..dinner alone was at Don Bistro at Tanglin Mall..lovely soba with lovely tempura...45mins of simple indulgence..food, great company (IS magazine) & well...nice quiet atmosphere.. ahha..Tanglin Mall..quietest shopping centre in SG I think...
• Had a 10 minute gossip session with Chloe tonight while having my dinner...=) haha..after a year...we still have not gotten over gossipping over a certain someone.. ahha...
• Completed 2nd round with govt agency 2...

FROWNS

• Waiting for my bus at tampines interchange just now...young kid finished eating his sotong ball and then threw his old chang kee plastic bag on the ground...his mother didn't scold...neither did she pick the bag up to throw...*rolls eyes*

SIGHS

• govt agency 1 still no news...
• It has started? one of the managers in the office..Christian of course..asked if I wanted to go church with her this Sunday...macham replay of 3 years ago whe Jen was trying to get me to go.. haha...
• Not doing too good..sore throat, cough..head heavy but no fever...

tmd. hate the feeling of being played out.

I think I have the face of a civil servant?

Govt Agency 1 (GA1) called me yesterday to see if I am still interested in the job. Told me that they are still considering a few applicants for that single post...Will call me again for a 2nd round if they think I am suitable.

Govt Agency 2 (GA2) called me this afternoon. Reaction from them seems quite fast. Monday 1st round. Today call me...2nd round on Friday.

Am more keen on GA1 though...

Hmm mm..GA2 seems abit fishy..haha industry talk about them doesn't seem to be that positive...

==========
There is a common industry term used in the recruitment industry.
CRO
Which means...'Candidate Reject Offer" i.e. candidate originally seemed keen...but bail out in the last min.

TMD. I am not even a recruitment consultant.
But I just got an SMS. Someone just CRO-ed me.

This is worse than CRO. Turned up today. My telemarketer. 1st day of work.
Halfway through the day. Stomachache. Went home.

*bad feeling about how it'll turn out*

Then now at 11pm. Just SMS-ed me.
I hate such things. KNN sibei xian.

==========
My company song. "If We Hold On Together" by Diana Ross.

Spent this morning finding Diana Ross's version. Downloading it & then burning onto a CD.

Was a DJ during the company lunch..boss giving speech...I was looping this song..had to control volume...kaozzz....imagine one single song..played throughout a 20-30min interval.
And now the song's running through my head...running & running & running haha..

==========
Just a single SMS is enough to spoil my night.
gosh...so easily affected.

==========
Can anyone tell me...
If I open a bottle of Vodka...but it's only 1/3 consumed...
Kept it for at least half a year or maybe more....but not in the fridge..just in a cupboard...

um...it won't spoil or anything right? errr....hmm mmm....
it's still drinkable now right??

zzz

Just read my email...*SULK*
Ee Hong is going overseas to work as well!!!!!!!!
China........


bleah bleah bleah.....


=======
hearsay there'll be a condo built next to my work-in-progress flat.
hmm mm...dunno how true...

=======
Give me a blank piece of paper and I can pen down my thoughts like a flowing river.
Give me 45 mins and I can write anything & everything...

Give me an essay question with a 2 parts...
Plonk me down in front of a PC...
Ask me to type and say you'll come back 45 mins later so I hand up my work in a thumb drive...

And well..my mind will be a blank...

Gosh...dunno what the hell I was typing this evening...hahaa..
45 mins essay test at another government agency..in the orchard district...
I was put in the library section..In a not so remote corner...where sometimes others will pass by...
Given a thumb drive...given a 2-part question...and was then left alone...

hahaa....think I was writing whatever nonsense that came into my mind! haa..

Hope govt agency 1 will call me still....
If they don't call...then well....hpe this govt agency 2 will call.....

*cross fingers*

......

The Chinese Zodiac

12 animals

Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, Pig

He is a Fire Dragon.

Brave, Loyal, Strong.

While....I am...

I am a Metal Monkey.

Corny, Impish, Restless.

Enough Said.

Spot the Right Animal...

It's tough being a Monkey.

Don't they have nicer chimps on the Net????

of sighs and...more sighs...

Everyone seems to be going overseas...
Latest is that Selin is going over to Wuxi, China with her husband who got a job posting there...

Been quite a merry-go-round for them...
Met hubby in Australia. Hubby is from KL. Held weddings in both SG & KL.
She just went over to KL and he just got the offer to go China.
So now both are relocting over there...should be within the next few months...

Gosh...my friends are all disappearing overseas....
London, Australia, China, Indonesia, US...

Sigh...

=============
braces - the in thing nowadays...
makes me feel darn conscious of my crooked tooth.
just got a comment again a few days ago..that maybe i should go try it out..

sigh...

============
visited gran this evening.
called me celine again.

in no way do i resemble celine, an elder cousin of mine.
i stayed with my gran for 27 years.
last week she called me celine. this week she called me celine again.
my heart definitely doesn't feel good.

sigh...

===========
just finished watching Blood Diamond.
the bloodshed, the tears, the screams, the death, the carnage
the angst, the desperation, the upheaveals, the betrayals, the hopelessness

sigh....

===========
ahboy doesn't want to watch the simpsons.

sigh...

===========
the govt agency didn't call me on friday..
doesn this mean no hope??

sigh...

==========
sunday night blues...don't wish to go to work tomorrow...
the travel itch has started again...it's been 3 months since my last trip...
doubt i can go anywhere till the end of the year maybe?

sigh...

welcome...

to my little domain.
to the little cosy place i call my haven.

to the little place i retreat to at the end of the day.

view #1: you can see my wardrobe..my messy bed with its pink heart-shaped cushion..my display shelf full of soft toys...my shelf full of books & CDs & other knick-knacks..and oh yah..on the wall...there's my convocation photo...taken like 4-5 years ago man..kaozz..

view #2: my ummm...air-con at the top.. ahha...my curtains, my messy table, my drawers, my chair with my pink cushion! say hi to my mirror, my hi-fi..and to the little brown monkey sprawled over my table lamp...

view #3: oh well..close-up of my shelf...haha..some of the toys are as old as me..eg, donald duck & mickey mouse & pink panther..the word "Michelle" in pink & red on the upper shelf...was done by my maid about 16-17 years ago?? 3 little metal framed pics of me & ahboy sititng in the bottom groove of the shelf on the left side haha...

view #4: finally...close-up of the shelf below the soft toys...with some (not all) of my books & CDs...more toys, more pics & well...more junk...the Precious Moments letters that spell my name were from Red Biscuit..my bday present from him for my 22nd bday...gosh..quite a few years ago already..

Nice company...nice dinner...nice night...

Enough said...

5 of us...the very same gang who were there at the very same 5 months ago on 6th Feb..
Jenice, Chloe, Glenn, Kok & I were there at Brazil Churascarria (is it spelt this way??) at Sixth Avenue again for dinner just now..

This time round..my stomach wasn't "spoilt" haha...could gorge on the ham & veggies...
Lovely time gossipping....

Lovely time laughing away...

Lovely time catching up...actually we didn't really catch up did we? ahhaaa..LOL...

Lovely time talking rot...

Oh well..Lovely Time.. ahha..

glenn & me..in the cab there...

one of our table's floral centrepieces...

jenice & me flashing our pearly whites..!

my almost full plate...love the greens...they had mango salad this time round...too sour though..and they had ladies fingers this time round too!! lovely.. ahaha..

me with ah kok! gosh..."butt tear".. private joke amongst the 5of us...that which made kok smile so hugely in this pic.. ahha..

glenn, me & chloe...my face & head looks smaller here! hahaa...

friendships...

How do you tell someone.
That you do not wish to meet up with him for a meal.
That you wish to just keep things as it is. i.e. only the very occassional SMS & the online chat.
That the previous time you had a meal with him put you off so bad that 6 months later, you still don't want to meet up with him.
That the friendship is still ok when it's behind a virtual screen.
But that when you pull that screen off an come face-to-face in real life, it just changes so drastically.

At this point,
I am ok if things are kept at a distance.
I am ok if the friendship, the care, the concerns are communicated via technological means.
But a meal?
Nah, I am still not keen on the idea.
Yeah, 6 months later, somehow the distaste is still there..

So how to say all this to someone?

===========
I got criticized by a 31? 32?...aiyah.. a-guy-in-his-early-30s...this afternoon.

He was miffed and said that I didn't put in the effort to contact him.
That I didn't bother with him.

Coming from a guy..who just got married a few months back and who's gonna be a dad in 7 months time...
Sigh..maybe he's pissed with me that I didn't attend his wedding..

And to think that actually, we aren't really that oh-so-close after all...How many times do we see each other in a year? Got to know him in NTUC...and for the past 3 years, I think I've only met up with him like 5-6 times max?
Out of which 2 were coincidental meetings in the street. And the rest of the time was for work...

Sigh...so many friends...so little time.
How am I supposed to go stroke each person & pay close attention to each relationship all the time??

===========
It's weird sometimes.
When friendships turn out as such...
One party wanting to maintain & nurture it more than the other party..

*pouts*

midweek musings

Oh no!!! The bottle of honey coated macademia nuts I bought on Saturday from Taka...
Is finishing!!! AAHHH....=(

Tastes very nice...Camel Brand...Honey Macademia...
Everyday I pop a few...Try to ration...but even with rationing..hmm mm...it seems to be finishing..left only a few...bleah..

=========
Sunday night wedding.. haha...was abit awkward...
Not the wedding itself lah...but maybe cos it's been a loooong time since I've seen/talked to some of the people I'm sitting with...
Or maybe cos I was tired and was a bit withdrawn for that night...

Nevertheless.. haha..it was kinda interesting to see Tazzee without specs in his wedding photos haha..LOL...
But him & his everlasting grin blew the night away...and his blushing bride of cos haha...

Ok yah, the best dish of the night...I think...was the brocolli.. hahahaa... LOL & the duck with mango...

p/s: Taz, I think the chopsticks are kinda cute lah...make sure they compensate you for giving the wrong wedding favours yah...ICB date will jio you again...Also don't know when the next one will be...

=========
There's a baby lizard living in my room now..I've seen it crawling along my walls a few times over the past few nights...
Makes me wonder...what do these reptilian creatures actually eat to make them survive..

I mean, what other possible yummy living creatures can there be in MY ROOM to sustain
them?? bed bugs? mozzies? spiders??

*shudders*
Ok, I shan't go into this train of thought....

==========
Boss not happy this morning...
Spoke to him on the phone for 8 mins and out of that 5 mins he was rattling away.

Caught in between him and a vendor...bleah...

==========
Ahboy's been upset about work issues...for the past few days or a week at least..Sigh...
Messaged me that he was presented with a new load of shit after we parted after our dinner just now...when he went back to office...

Feeling abit helpless when I can't do much except to maintain a cheerful face for him..

==========
Met up with James yesterday...My ex-ex-boss..from 5 years ago at least haha...

He's fatter! haha..Must have been nurturing the tow kay look...
Sitting in his office, hardly moving & growing fat. haha...ok lah, not growing fat but growing fatter..Made fun of him..hehe

Made me go up to his office in Suntec Tower 2 to look for him. I initially asked him to come down for a cuppa and he refused. Asked me to walk more so I could firm my butt muscles....dumbo.

Later on, a conversation in the office went this way...

Me: I know why you're putting on weight liao!!!
Him: *showed a xian face that said 'try me with a smart quip'*
Me: Of cos lah!! Everyday sit here, do nothing but stare at PC. Ask you to go downstairs for a drink also don't want!! No wonder getting fatter lah!!
Him: Ok lah ok lah!! Go down for a drink lah!! Come let's go!!

hahaaa...so that did the trick...men & their egos... ahha...
And so off we went for a quick cup of tea at Starbucks...

Some catch-up, some gossip...
And as usual more ribbings from him about my still-single-but-unavailable status...i.e. attached but not married.
Showed him my ring and that shut him up. For awhile at least.

Till he saw my pic of ahboy & me in my wallet....Said ahboy looks younger than me.
*Pui pui pui* TMD..
That guy is 4 yrs older ok. Get that into all your heads....
*sobs* I know I look older than my age...but don't rub it in can????
Bleah..

p/s: to the lady in the know..hahaa...abit corny lah, but I can think of another reason why he's putting on....hehehe...;p