my amazing gran

Mama.
Her memory's deteriorating. Getting more blur and forgetful these days..

The other day, she passed me Marc's red packet to keep in my bag. 5 minutes later, she asked me if she passed me the thing.
Another incident. She gave me money for Xmas. A few days later, she asked me if she's given me the money or not.

We're gonna celebrate her 90th birthday a few weeks later.
Love her so much...
And she was so cute just now in the afternoon...munching on a piece of nonya kueh like a little child..watching TV...

There's a sudden fear in me.
A fear of....when the day will come....when she.........

Shit. I'm sobbing my brains out.

=========
Finished "Five People You Meet in Heaven" today.
Nice...heart-warming..tugs at the heart-strings...
The way Mitch Albom writes is quite cool...

of dreams...

Dreamt of him last week.
Was picking a fight with him in the dream...
Cos I was pissed off that he spent a bomb on something which I felt he didn't need.
Haa...in the dream, apart from the current car...he got himself another car...
More specifically..a Maserati. And a yellow one to boot..hahahha....
Kaozz...wonder which figment of my imagination induced me to dream of such stuff...=p

============
Had a nightmare last night. Can't remember what it was about but I know TH & PQ were in that dream. And TH was shouting at me.
I shouted too. And was still shouting when I woke.
It's getting abit scary. I don't think I've ever woke up shouting before...

Think it was around 5-plus in the morning...cos I remember hearing the bus go by when I tried to get back to sleep after that...Was reciting Hail Mary before I fell alseep again...

============
Went to catch The Family Stone today..Thought it was a pretty heart-warming show..teared abit here and there...
Though he said it was boring...
I think it's even nicer than Narnia...

1st day of 2006

Let's see..where shall I start...

Gurmit's back in SG for awhile..and yesterday was Hogan's birthday...so kinda invited me, PQ & Ally over to his birthday gathering at one of the damn ulu chalets in Changi..
Met up with PQ first to go get his pressie and then caught a cab there to meet up with Ally & Keith..it was a maze in there..couldn't find the bloody chalet...

And then lo and behold.
It started drizzling..and from drips, it morphed into drops, then to trickles...and pretty soon, it was pouring.
Clambered up into Keith's pick-up. Of cos with Ally in front..me n PQ behind..2 goondus huddled under an umbrella, balancing on the back of a pick-up, slipping and sliding, cussing at the rain...screaming whenever Keith braked the vehicle..
Finally reached the darn place, shivering, cold and wet. Damn unglam.

But still, it was great seeing Gurms & Auntie...been a long long while...
Auntie still looks great..happy, bubbly and totally wacko...and Hogan's well..grown real tall..18 liao...time flies..Still remember when he was a whiny little kiddo..Now he's 1.85m tall...kaozz..haa..

============
There at the chalet, kinda got into a conversation with Gurm's dad. Also dunno how..but it just seemed like as if we could click..cos out of the 4 of us (me, PQ, Ally & Keith), he ended up talking to me...

Shared alot with me..about his Christian faith..about the things he went through and how he got to accepting Christ into his life. Talked about God, Christ & the Holy Spirit...talked about how their family broke-up more than 10 years ago..

And in a way, I felt touched by his words...and also touched that he was sharing so much with me...hmm..I don't know..but it was nice listening to him.

============
Fiinally got my clover leaf pendant..
Think it's been about 2 months? Or more? That PQ got it for me...haa...
It's hanging on my handphone now...Supposed to bring you luck...=)

Last day of 2005

Didn't manage to go East Coast yesterday...
Cos it was gloomy and then it started pouring..what a wet way to end the year...

Anyway, spent the day indoors. Was watching "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" with ahboy...
an unexpectedly "not-scary" show...Thought it would have those scenes which made you just wanna pee in your pants but well, it was to the contrary...haa...
Had a simple chicken rice dinner (char siew for him) at the kopitiam opp my place...
Before he left to play bball with the other guys...

12 midnight came and went unceremoniously..with him sleeping away...and well, it's 2006 liao.

Hmm..in a way..Is there a need for such significance attached to heralding in a new year or ushering in a new year?
I mean, things are still the same right..we still go about our daily routines..we still do the same things..blah blah..1st January is just the start of another calendar year is it not?

Ah..anyhow...I'm sounding contradictory...
Brand new year, brand new hope, brand new wishes, brand new fulfilment.
May better things cross my path and those of my friends and loved ones.

2nd last day of 2005

Had dinner with lian & radio just now at Seah Street Deli...wow..long time never go there and makan...the omelette is still as nice..

Brought them to Loof after that but kena rejected.
The stupid place must make reservations...apparently the whole place was fully booked for the night!! But it wasn't a large place lah..pretty small actually...
Some of the cosy corners with sofas and cushions are pretty cool though...
Don't care, must try there one fine day.

Walked around...and finally ended up at the Long Bar back at Raffles Hotel.
THE place where we can chew on peanuts and throw the shells indiscriminately on the floor.
And we were throwing peanut shells at each other.
Gosh, 3 girls in their mid-20s, throwing peanut shells at each other. How glam.

And this here's our drinks with the re-filled bowl of peanuts...haha...round 2 of munching and gossiping and plain crapping..=)
Feels good to just chill and rid your brain of the toxins gathered up during the day...And to talk of mundane things...
From the left: Tropical Paradise, Gunner & Planter's Cooler

===============
Gonna nuah at East Coast tmr!

Till here..bonding time with my lovely pillows...zzzzzzzz

.....

I am so full I can hardly sit straight.
The din at Straits Kitchen in Hyatt was good.
Had fun haha...and took lotsa pics with the rest too...shall upload here when I get it from CH..

=========
2006.

The year I turn 26.
The year I should do more meaningful things and have clearer directions.
The year I might be taking my GMAT.
The year I might be taking more courses.
The year I might be learning a musical instrument.
The year I might be taking a graduate diploma or a Masters.
The year I might finally drive on my own.
The year I might progress much farther in my career.
The year I might achieve some sense of equilibrium in my life.

on xmas eve

Me and ahboy..hiding in one corner of Uncle David's house..haha..having our own boliao fun..






Wesley the West Highland Terrier enjoying his tummy rub..at Uncle David's place...ahboy was playing with him..






Haha..know these pics came abit late...=)))

2005's almost gone....so fast...

lesson 4 today..forgot to check whether there's an intermediate class after this class ends.
If so, think I'll take it up.

Kena whack by the teacher today. As in literally physically hit by a book.
Made me feel like I was back in primary school. Haha....but he did it out of playfulness lah..
Cos I was speaking to a friend in Chinese...right in front of him.. =D
Said I didn't give him "respect"...haha

And damn, our assignment this week is to go read a malay story book and tell him the gist of the story next week...xiao liao....
Got Mena to lend me her kid's story book...Haha told her..."the more pics there is, the merrier.." So I don't have to read and decipher so much..kekeke....

=========
Shiong Shiong..haa..tomorow night going for buffet din at Hyatt..Straits Kitchen with the WSH peeps..Friday with the ofc gals and Fri night will be able to check out Loof!! Woohoo!!
Looking forward to Friday...

As for Saturday...hmm....don't have plans yet...hmm...*scratch head*...
Come to think of it. Actually staying in ain't that bad an idea after all...
Have some quiet time at home and usher the new year in slowly, gracefully and peacefully...

=========
Wanted to bring Ahboy to Boulevard Mart for lunch today..but it was CLOSED.
Kinda disappointed...

lost in the lalang

I said: "Actually I'm feeling abit abit lost in life leh."
The stupid man said: "LOST is good!"

Yeah well. *Rolls Eyes* If you're talking about the drama series.

If only I had a magical compass. During times of uncertainty or when I'm at crossroads, I'll just whip it out and it'll point me in the correct direction.

I did not do up a resolution list for 2005. And in a way things became quite messed up.
Not entirely due to the lack of resolutions per se. But well, it kinda links lah.

Mentioned earlier that I'll do up a dreamboard for 2006.
Haven't had much time the past few days to do up one. Let alone to think of what I want to do and achieve in 2006. There's only a few days of 2005 left.
Think I'll blog less and ponder more.

hmm....

yada yada....

Watched Narnia yesterday.
Slightly disappointing. Nearly fell asleep in the first half of the show..was kinda draggy..
The only part I thought was nice was during the battle between good & evil.
Thought the White Witch's costumes & overall portrayal was good.

Had dinner with the rest at Blk 63 Kallang Bahru place. Simply cheap and good.
Shall go back there someday. $4.80 per dish, regardless of what the dish is...or something like that. haa...

=========
Freaking cold in office today.
The pregnant lady was complaining it was hot and blasted the air-con at 18C. Even though it was raining heavily outside...I literally went pale..haa..
Jen & HR were asking if I was ok cos I looked "bloodless".

I was huddled in a jacket, sipping milo with my teeth chattering away, whilst trying to type with frozen fingers...
Haha and I was sitting with my feet underneath my bum to keep them warm...

=========
Hmm...Kym & XL came back last night...she told me they managed to see snow in Nikko! :)
Lian's coming back tonight...wonder what goodies she'll bring back...
HB's coming back tomorrow afternoon...he still owes me dinner.

Ok, time to save up for my Japan trip too..hahah...shall make it 2 trips next year.
A short one and another which is farther away. If Japan doesn't work out, then Taiwan it shall be!

==========
Abit weird. There's suddenly a bunch of stray dogs downstairs of my block barking away.
I've never seen stray dogs around my area before at all..
About 3 or 4 of them. Mongrels, brown and black...
Still barking and yapping away...

==========
Holiday withdrawal...
But today was a busy day...
Hope tomorrow will be better with lian back haha...

rattle tattle on boxing day!

Boxing Day!
Eddie's Birthday!!
My Ho Peng Yew!
Ji Zhap Cit Huey Liao!

happie burfdae to yoo
happie burfdae to yoo
happie burfdae to air-dy
happie burfdae to yoo!!

specially dedicated to my dear friend...who was there with me throughout my uni days, our FYP and till now...=)))

============
Went out for kopi with TH, Eugene & DeGuang yday.
Super long nv see DG already. Good to see he's doing well. =)

Haha, snacked alot on fries, wedges. 1st stop was at Phin's.
And when they closed for the day, we moved onto Cartel..munched on more cakes..
Shucks!
Feeling like a stuffed turkey now...been eating so much for the last week or so!

Was reading Blinkymummy's blog..HAHAHAH!!
Sibei funny! What a coincidence! Eugene was sitting a few rows in front of her and she took pics of him!
Even posted it on her blog....somemore mentioned that he was cute wor...kekeke..

Yay! Completed my homework for the week!
Hope it's correct. Dun wanna get humiliated in front of the whole class again..haha...
Stupid teacher had better not ask me to stand up again...

Am awaiting for ahboy arrival...
But abit CMI leh..feeling sleepy again...

*yawnz*

dreams & sleeping

Dreamt of alot of things last night.

I know I dreamt of course codes and batch IDs ..lotsa alphanumeric stuff floating around...
I know I dreamt of eehong & elaine tan..carrying something together..but dunno what...
I know I dreamt of an apartment...and I was in that apartment...looking for something...
Can't remember the rest...

==========
Don't feel like sleeping now.
Am tired. But just don't feel like sleeping.

Am basking in the quietness of the night. With the exceptional noise or two from passing vehicles.

Hope I can get up tomorrow though. Gotta go bro's home for steamboat and yet another gift exchange.

Haven't done my calculations yet. Wonder how much I spent this month..

Till here.

xmas

Kinda plain and simple transition into Xmas..
Went Uncle David's place then popped by Robertson Quay Htl to hang out with Ling & gang for awhile.

In fact. feeling kinda low.

Just read a dear friend's blog. Tearing.
I can understand the frustration. And I raise my hands up.
I am guilty of not putting in more effort to maintain the relationship.
Tiredness, busy-ness just seem perfect excuses for us all. I am no exception.
Priorities change, people change, dynamics change.

It's the exact situation I faced when I was organising the uni gathering a few months back.
The frustration of when you are trying your best to organise something and no one gives a damn about it. Or when everyones takes you for granted.
Except that the tables are turned now. And I am the guilty party.

]And in a way, it feels fucking shitty when you know you have hurt your friend's feelings.
A friend who has been by your side for the last decade and more.

been eating alot recently...

Tomorrow gonna makan again.
Gonna meet up with the uni peeps tomorrow for steamboat at Dan's place...=)
Look time never see them..must catch up! Especially Von & Deb...

Had the beef noodles at Laguna with Ahboy just now...woohoo!
Shiok on a rainy day like this...the soup was really good...think it's been months since I last had it! haa...

Waited for 2.5 hours to see the doc today. For the ear.
Went in for 2 mins and I was out of the room in a jiffy. But at least I'm all clear.
Don't have to go back anymore! Yeah Yeah Yeah! =)

Shit. Am kinda in a daze...
Hitting the sack...

xoxoxo

Teacher!!

During the break in class today.

Lay Keow turned to me and asked..what are you working as? Told her I'm doing marketing.
And her next reaction was: "Har? Thought you were a teacher? You look like one to me..."

Hmm...*rubs chin* Hmm...
Not the first time someone has said this to me liao...
Hmm...and I'm told I dress like one too...double hmm...

Pelajaraan Tiga dan Kerja

Lesson Number 3 today.

Kaozz!! Sibei paiseh..haa..
The homework which I handed in the second lesson had so many mistakes that it was "displayed" out on the whiteboard for discussion & mutual learning...=p
Think the teacher screamed out my name one too many times today...HEH HEH...
Must have seemed like I had nothing between my ears...

Time to stock up on gingo biloba to boost the brain man..

=========
It's weird sometimes.
When you're free, you're really free. Not even a fly comes to disturb you.
When you're busy, you're really busy. All things come together and vie for your time.

Today just happened to be a busy day such that I skipped the Grp Pub Meeting at OMB.
Whoops. Small fry like LHUB always skip the monthly meetings whilst the big ones always turn up.
Darn, doesn't reflect well on us.

==========
After going one big round, rental is back on my plate. Think bro Lawrence is overwhelmed with other stuff.
Jen spoke to me just now to cover him.
My scope's really cross-functional now. Marketing, Events, Customer Service, Rental...

yawnz...

Wanted to post this yesterday but concussed.
Decided to take a trip to slumberland instead of the virtual world.

Was rubbing my forehead and made my discovery. What JT mentioned before the op has appeared already.
The depression on the side of the head..hmm how to describe it?
Kinda like a mini crack in the skull..so you can feel a slight crater underneath the skin.

But it's not obvious to the naked eye.
Heng ah.

===========
The lian's flying off tomorrow liao.
Wonder what she'll bring back for me from Taipei?

And the dumb HB sent me an MMS from Krabi. Must admit that it's quite a picturesque view that he took though haha....make me gian!!

===========
Wonder why I'm feeling so tired the past 2 days...zzz...
And that pimple refuses to go away!!!

finally finished it...

Am sobbing my guts out now..
Finally finished 'Tuesdays With Morrie'.

It's taken me months to finish this 192 page book when I could have just taken less than 3 days.
Reason's cos I can never go past more than 5 pages without shedding tears.
So somehow or other, it's taken me that long to complete the book.

Will be puffy-eyed at work tomorrow I suppose.

Anticipation

Heart thudding
Anxiety escalating
Muscles tensing
Breath shallowing

Watching
Waiting
Hoping
Anticipating

The wait seems long
The excursion ahead seems indistinct
The passage of time seems unbearable
The vestige of space seems oppressing

Following
Cruising
Floating
Anticipating

=============
I don't know
What am I waiting for ah?
Just have a clueless vague feeling ( '_' )

Recapitulation

Friday night was a barrel of fun.
Am glad Win & I organised the gathering with some other colleagues.
Lemme see...Ah San & wife was there, Serene Chia & daughter, Ah Kok, Chloe & Jenice, Lawrence Tan, Chia Beh Beh, Lian & me!
11 pax, quite a good turn out...gorged ourselves at TianTian..

And in the end, after that...me, the non-KTV goer...was dragged to Party World (the Shenton branch) by CBB and Lian...haa...Kok & Lawrence joined us too...
So paiseh, haha...the kantang me couldn't read the words on the karaoke videos...
Tried my best to sing some songs but couldn't keep up.
By the time I figured out what the word was, the song's moved onto the next line liao..haha..

Also taught Uncle Kok how to play 5-10...hahah...me, CBB & him were playing. =)) haha, ended up the uncle was enjoying himself so much...kakaka...was also playing the "scissors-paper-stone, point-up-down-left-right" game...haha, couldn't come up with a better naming.

By the time I got home, I was spent.
Showered and just collapsed on the bed.