Breathe
Take it easy
One at a time
One thing at a time
Thursday, November 28, 2019
Thursday, November 21, 2019
Plants
The small ficus ginseng is doing good. New shoots coming out. New leaves too.
The bonsai FIL gave is doing good too. After a recent bout of shedding some yellow leaves (which alarmed me actually. Thought the plant was going kaput under my care), the plant's sprouting new leave and new flower buds and new shoots too. I saw some dead branches in the pads but am wondering if an amateur like me should prune them off. I saw one new growth too...that didn't seem like a branch or a flower bud or a leaf...It looked like a seed pod and I'm excited. I hope it is! Then we can grow more new plants out of it hopefully....
Big ficus ginseng is doing so-so. It shed all its leaves. Not sure why...but recently started sprouting new leaves. It still looks extremely bare and bald though and I'm wondering if I should trim down some branches. Looking too scraggly. Need to repot it soon too.
The desert rose that FIL gave to me is doing pretty ok too. Developing some nice and interesting roots from the base of the trunk. Hopefully it develops into a nice "nebari" system. Right now the nebari is still quite loose and weak.
Time...I need time and patience to care for these fellas....
I'm hoping to create a bonsai out of asparagus fern. Really love these ferns..
And I'm hoping to make a kokedama too...need to get materials though...
And I need to trim, and repropagate the Indian borage...K said there were some strange looking mites/insects in the soil....eewwww...
Time time...I need time...to do all these...
Yes
In recent months.
Many targets that I've set.
Many goals that I've set.
In recent weeks.
Some I've reached.
Some I've conquered.
Sometimes with difficulty.
Sometimes with slightly more ease.
More targets to come.
More to conquer.
There remains one big challenge in the coming weeks.
That I'm psyching up for.
Yes, you do do this Michelle.
Yes, you can.
Ganbatte
Hae suiss-da
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can do this.
Yes, I can!
Many targets that I've set.
Many goals that I've set.
In recent weeks.
Some I've reached.
Some I've conquered.
Sometimes with difficulty.
Sometimes with slightly more ease.
More targets to come.
More to conquer.
There remains one big challenge in the coming weeks.
That I'm psyching up for.
Yes, you do do this Michelle.
Yes, you can.
Ganbatte
Hae suiss-da
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can do this.
Yes, I can!
Laoniang Did It!
Spent the last 3 days (Mon to Wed) at the Civil Service College in Buona Vista.
It was.... 3. Whole. Intensive. Days. Of.
Basic Principles of Data Analytics.
Most courses are quite relaxed where you need to only be on 60-70% brain operating capacity.
This course was quite taxing and intensive. Fully interactive. I was on guard and fully engaged 99% of the time because once you lose concentration, you'll miss what the trainer said and you'll miss taking down notes. I felt like I was back in uni taking lecture notes. Lots of hands-on, lots of notes-taking, lots of arrows by the trainer to answer questions, lots of project and group work.
The first day was pretty stressful due to the new environment, adjustment to the trainer and the setting, and getting thrown questions which I struggled to answer sometimes. Went home with a tight chest on Monday evening. The next 2 days were more manageable. But I felt quite tired out at the end of each day.
I woke in the middle of the night on Tues night and I somehow remember that these words were swirling in my head...standard deviation, scatterplot, boxplot, mean, median, mode, variance, skewness, pivot table, interquartile range, hypothesis, upper whisker, lower whisker, ................
zzz... simisai.
Laoniang barely passed Statistics in my uni Year 1. In fast, Stats brought me my first ever D in my entire schooling life. I swore off stats back then and even chose to do In-depth-Interviews instead for the data collection portion of my Final Year Project...
20 years later.....and I'm going through a crash course on it now. Sorry, not "going". "Went" through a crash course on it haha.
Nevertheless I'm proud I went through the 3 days, despite the uncertainty and anxiety, especially on the first day. I didn't drop out.
And I'm very grateful, and blessed too, that by some strange stroke of luck, my boss, KH and Vicky all happened to be in the course as well. None of us planned for it and it just happened to be this way. Was very glad that they were around, at least I could sit with them and not have to face added stress of sitting with strangers and doing group work with them.
Yeah, another personal challenge settled.
It was.... 3. Whole. Intensive. Days. Of.
Basic Principles of Data Analytics.
Most courses are quite relaxed where you need to only be on 60-70% brain operating capacity.
This course was quite taxing and intensive. Fully interactive. I was on guard and fully engaged 99% of the time because once you lose concentration, you'll miss what the trainer said and you'll miss taking down notes. I felt like I was back in uni taking lecture notes. Lots of hands-on, lots of notes-taking, lots of arrows by the trainer to answer questions, lots of project and group work.
The first day was pretty stressful due to the new environment, adjustment to the trainer and the setting, and getting thrown questions which I struggled to answer sometimes. Went home with a tight chest on Monday evening. The next 2 days were more manageable. But I felt quite tired out at the end of each day.
I woke in the middle of the night on Tues night and I somehow remember that these words were swirling in my head...standard deviation, scatterplot, boxplot, mean, median, mode, variance, skewness, pivot table, interquartile range, hypothesis, upper whisker, lower whisker, ................
zzz... simisai.
Laoniang barely passed Statistics in my uni Year 1. In fast, Stats brought me my first ever D in my entire schooling life. I swore off stats back then and even chose to do In-depth-Interviews instead for the data collection portion of my Final Year Project...
20 years later.....and I'm going through a crash course on it now. Sorry, not "going". "Went" through a crash course on it haha.
Nevertheless I'm proud I went through the 3 days, despite the uncertainty and anxiety, especially on the first day. I didn't drop out.
And I'm very grateful, and blessed too, that by some strange stroke of luck, my boss, KH and Vicky all happened to be in the course as well. None of us planned for it and it just happened to be this way. Was very glad that they were around, at least I could sit with them and not have to face added stress of sitting with strangers and doing group work with them.
Yeah, another personal challenge settled.
Friday, November 15, 2019
Nadya 要上小学了
Brought Nadya to Tao Nan yesterday afternoon. It was an admin day, with form-filling stuff to settle, books to buy and uniforms to get.
She was a little overwhelmed in the beginning I think. Suddenly in a big compound with buildings all around her. Suddenly being dragged by us to the canteen to buy uniforms. And then we had her try the uniforms on to get the correct size....She had a dazed look on her.
And then we had to bring her to another area to grab her books...I decided not to let her join in the queue for the books. She seemed happier waiting with me outside the bookstore area and eating her bun. K settled the books.
We had to go to the school hall thereafter to fill forms and listen to a briefing. By then, we had met up with our friends and their daughter, who is Nadya's classmate. She seemed more comfy at the point...
Time flies...she's entering P1 soon...
Our Little Baby...长大了.....
She was a little overwhelmed in the beginning I think. Suddenly in a big compound with buildings all around her. Suddenly being dragged by us to the canteen to buy uniforms. And then we had her try the uniforms on to get the correct size....She had a dazed look on her.
And then we had to bring her to another area to grab her books...I decided not to let her join in the queue for the books. She seemed happier waiting with me outside the bookstore area and eating her bun. K settled the books.
We had to go to the school hall thereafter to fill forms and listen to a briefing. By then, we had met up with our friends and their daughter, who is Nadya's classmate. She seemed more comfy at the point...
Time flies...she's entering P1 soon...
Our Little Baby...长大了.....
Monday, November 11, 2019
Of clearing things and that little journal from back in the day....
With my parents impending shift to Adrian's place in end Nov, I'm also facing pressure to clear out whatever remaining stuff I have left in the Tampines flat. Which is actually alot....basically the entire storage space below my old bed and 1/2 of a cupboard.
I don't need this extra stress. Sigh.
2 Saturdays ago, I brought home one big bag of stuff that's now just sitting in a corner of my master bedroom. No idea what to do with it cos I have a small house and there is just no friggin space to store the stuff I have.
Anyway......
While clearing my old stuff at the Tampines flat on the Sat night just past, I threw out some things...and.......also came across my journal from 20 years back.
There were not alot of entries in it. First entry was in year 2000 and last one was in year 2006. I sometimes wrote a few entries a year and sometimes it was just once a year. The diary's made of acid-free paper so it's still as good as new. The only thing is that the cloth binding and white ribbon that came with the diary...has yellowed.
After putting the girls to sleep on Saturday night, I spent some time reading through the journal.
Brought back some memories, both good and bad. Also reminded me of some stuff and people that I'd completely forgotten.
It's also amazing though, that some questions I asked myself 20 years ago...are still relevant today and in the last few years and especially this year, I've asked myself the same questions too. So strange, that the 20-yr-old me and the 40-yr-old me...is still asking the same question. :)
Some of those journal entries, are also testament to the fact that, people come and people go. Some leave an indelible mark on your life, some leave nary a trace to the extent that you'd forget about them over time. Others, who may have been an important part of your life at some point in time, somehow mysteriously disappear thereafter, leaving you wondering what happened, and whether age and time had something to do with it.
The insecurities I wrote about when I was 20, 21, 22, 23...some are still present, though to a much lesser degree...and I don't dwell on them now. They only surface from time to time...
I wrote about some significant milestones along these years. I wrote about my doubts and worries. I wrote about crushes I had which had me grinning actually. :p I wrote about frustrations...and I wrote about my hopes and goals...and I think based on the various entries I wrote, I've learned over the years that I should trust my gut feel....
Hmm...
After a 13-year hiatus, I might pen something in there again. Just need to find the right time and right place and right space...Who knows...I might do a summary of the key events over the last 13 years...
I don't need this extra stress. Sigh.
2 Saturdays ago, I brought home one big bag of stuff that's now just sitting in a corner of my master bedroom. No idea what to do with it cos I have a small house and there is just no friggin space to store the stuff I have.
Anyway......
While clearing my old stuff at the Tampines flat on the Sat night just past, I threw out some things...and.......also came across my journal from 20 years back.
There were not alot of entries in it. First entry was in year 2000 and last one was in year 2006. I sometimes wrote a few entries a year and sometimes it was just once a year. The diary's made of acid-free paper so it's still as good as new. The only thing is that the cloth binding and white ribbon that came with the diary...has yellowed.
After putting the girls to sleep on Saturday night, I spent some time reading through the journal.
Brought back some memories, both good and bad. Also reminded me of some stuff and people that I'd completely forgotten.
It's also amazing though, that some questions I asked myself 20 years ago...are still relevant today and in the last few years and especially this year, I've asked myself the same questions too. So strange, that the 20-yr-old me and the 40-yr-old me...is still asking the same question. :)
Some of those journal entries, are also testament to the fact that, people come and people go. Some leave an indelible mark on your life, some leave nary a trace to the extent that you'd forget about them over time. Others, who may have been an important part of your life at some point in time, somehow mysteriously disappear thereafter, leaving you wondering what happened, and whether age and time had something to do with it.
The insecurities I wrote about when I was 20, 21, 22, 23...some are still present, though to a much lesser degree...and I don't dwell on them now. They only surface from time to time...
I wrote about some significant milestones along these years. I wrote about my doubts and worries. I wrote about crushes I had which had me grinning actually. :p I wrote about frustrations...and I wrote about my hopes and goals...and I think based on the various entries I wrote, I've learned over the years that I should trust my gut feel....
Hmm...
After a 13-year hiatus, I might pen something in there again. Just need to find the right time and right place and right space...Who knows...I might do a summary of the key events over the last 13 years...
Wednesday, November 06, 2019
Uniball - laoniang like
I'm back to drawing, doodling and zentangling (or whatever you call it) these days.
I started out with the Sakura Sigma Micro pens a couple of years back. They were expensive but good to use for very fine lines and smaller details. I still have with me some 0.2mm pens, some in 0.3mm and I think a 0.5mm as well.
I wasn't that used to those pens to be honest. I've always liked broad pens. Used to call them "fat" pens till I finally learned the correct term is "broad" haha.
I'm using the Uniball Signo Broad UM153 1.0mm pen these days. I use the ones in black ink and black-blue ink. The black-blue ink is really nice. I've got one in white as well and am using it for corrections. This pen's much much broader with a 1.0mm nib and it gives a smooth, full finish to each stroke. The only thing is that being a 1.0mm, the ink runs out pretty fast. Luckily, this is a cheaper pen, easier to buy in retail stores and ink refills are easier to find as well.
I just finished a black one and the black-blue one I use at home is almost finished as well.
I think I need to run to Evergreen to stock up on ink refills soon.....
To more drawings!
I started out with the Sakura Sigma Micro pens a couple of years back. They were expensive but good to use for very fine lines and smaller details. I still have with me some 0.2mm pens, some in 0.3mm and I think a 0.5mm as well.
I wasn't that used to those pens to be honest. I've always liked broad pens. Used to call them "fat" pens till I finally learned the correct term is "broad" haha.
I'm using the Uniball Signo Broad UM153 1.0mm pen these days. I use the ones in black ink and black-blue ink. The black-blue ink is really nice. I've got one in white as well and am using it for corrections. This pen's much much broader with a 1.0mm nib and it gives a smooth, full finish to each stroke. The only thing is that being a 1.0mm, the ink runs out pretty fast. Luckily, this is a cheaper pen, easier to buy in retail stores and ink refills are easier to find as well.
I just finished a black one and the black-blue one I use at home is almost finished as well.
I think I need to run to Evergreen to stock up on ink refills soon.....
To more drawings!
Monday, November 04, 2019
of drawings and a little girl
Nadya recently saw me drawing and practising some Zentangle diagrams. She liked some of the patterns and designs and asked me to teach her.
So each night for the last few nights, she has come to me with a pencil and paper and said "Mama I want to draw. I want Mama to teach me..."
Quite happy that she likes drawing...:)
I started out showing her some simple designs and last night I showed her a more complicated pattern. She was able to follow it with some help...she also customised some of the stuff that I showed her with her own designs...which impressed me! I didn't say anything and she just went ahead with her own patterns...:)
Maybe I should refresh and relearn my repertoire of Zentangle patterns and teach her some of the more complicated ones...
This little girl seems to enjoy the arty stuff that her Mama likes haha....
Wonder if she will like plants...and terrariums and....bonsai?
So each night for the last few nights, she has come to me with a pencil and paper and said "Mama I want to draw. I want Mama to teach me..."
Quite happy that she likes drawing...:)
I started out showing her some simple designs and last night I showed her a more complicated pattern. She was able to follow it with some help...she also customised some of the stuff that I showed her with her own designs...which impressed me! I didn't say anything and she just went ahead with her own patterns...:)
Maybe I should refresh and relearn my repertoire of Zentangle patterns and teach her some of the more complicated ones...
This little girl seems to enjoy the arty stuff that her Mama likes haha....
Wonder if she will like plants...and terrariums and....bonsai?
Of pots and plants
Built my first ever pot of bonsai on my birthday! I'd prepared the soil mix a week or two earlier and on 17 Oct, I transplanted my smaller ficus ginseng plant into a green ceramic pot and filled it with the bonsai soil mix I created.
Glad to update that many new leaves and shoots are sprouting up and the plant seems to be doing pretty well. :)
Hope it grows better in time to come!
===============
The seeds I planted on 4 Oct never germinated though the packet indicated a period of 2-3 weeks before they would germinate.
Xian half. Now I'm considering germinating my pomegranate seeds or my pear seeds. Hope these work out well!!!
===============
I'm intending to transplant my bigger ficus ginseng plant into a new pot with a semi-bonsai soil mix that I prepared last night.
My soil mix for this one:
5 parts - potting soil
5 parts - organic compost
2/3 parts - perlite
2/3 parts - volcanic soil
<1 -="" p="" part="" sand="">
Made this mix around 60-70% organic because the plant isn't doing too well and seems to be quite botak. Hoping the mix will help to spur some new growth. and encourage more aerial roots to pop out.
Now what's left is for me to transplant.....see if I can find the chance to do it.
Glad to update that many new leaves and shoots are sprouting up and the plant seems to be doing pretty well. :)
Hope it grows better in time to come!
===============
The seeds I planted on 4 Oct never germinated though the packet indicated a period of 2-3 weeks before they would germinate.
Xian half. Now I'm considering germinating my pomegranate seeds or my pear seeds. Hope these work out well!!!
===============
I'm intending to transplant my bigger ficus ginseng plant into a new pot with a semi-bonsai soil mix that I prepared last night.
My soil mix for this one:
5 parts - potting soil
5 parts - organic compost
2/3 parts - perlite
2/3 parts - volcanic soil
<1 -="" p="" part="" sand="">
Made this mix around 60-70% organic because the plant isn't doing too well and seems to be quite botak. Hoping the mix will help to spur some new growth. and encourage more aerial roots to pop out.
Now what's left is for me to transplant.....see if I can find the chance to do it.
Ola
Past 2-3 weeks has been a blur and a mish mash of work, managing self (and tummy), caring for the kids and attending their drama days and concerts, and dealing with their homework, and running errands, and trying to settle xmas stuff, and......
Some things that stood out.
Last year of my 30s - 17 Oct 2019 (Thurs)
I'm 39 already. I'm not quite ready to get out of my 30s...but somehow I'm already at this point. In fact, KH is turning 40 in December and Ally & PQ are turning 40 in Jan! It was a nice day. K and I had lunch at a yummy Jap restaurant. It was a pity I couldn't stuff myself more....the potato salad and soba noodles at the buffet bar were really nice....we went home thereafter and I busied myself with building my first ever pot of bonsai.
Nadya's Year-end Graduation Concert - 26 Oct 2019 (Sat)
I teared up seeing her on stage, walking up to the principal to collect her certificate in her small graduation gown and mortarboard. And I wondered how I would feel in the future if and when she graduates from uni.
I was mighty proud of her too when she did her dance performance. And I was very proud when she did her emcee role well, in both English and Mandarin. She was composed, kept her head up, kept her voice calm and steady and didn't rush through her script at all.
Well done sweetie! Mama is so so proud of you!!
Solo - 31 Oct 2019 (Thurs)
It was a day I challenged myself and spent half a day outside on my own. From breakfast at SingPost Centre, to taking the train down to Bugis Junction, to spending 3hours there running errands and buying Xmas presents, and then having lunch in a restaurant by myself.
It got overwhelming at one point and I had to text K. But I was glad I went through with things and didn't chicken out. I hope to do this again....
Some things that stood out.
Last year of my 30s - 17 Oct 2019 (Thurs)
I'm 39 already. I'm not quite ready to get out of my 30s...but somehow I'm already at this point. In fact, KH is turning 40 in December and Ally & PQ are turning 40 in Jan! It was a nice day. K and I had lunch at a yummy Jap restaurant. It was a pity I couldn't stuff myself more....the potato salad and soba noodles at the buffet bar were really nice....we went home thereafter and I busied myself with building my first ever pot of bonsai.
Nadya's Year-end Graduation Concert - 26 Oct 2019 (Sat)
I teared up seeing her on stage, walking up to the principal to collect her certificate in her small graduation gown and mortarboard. And I wondered how I would feel in the future if and when she graduates from uni.
I was mighty proud of her too when she did her dance performance. And I was very proud when she did her emcee role well, in both English and Mandarin. She was composed, kept her head up, kept her voice calm and steady and didn't rush through her script at all.
Well done sweetie! Mama is so so proud of you!!
Solo - 31 Oct 2019 (Thurs)
It was a day I challenged myself and spent half a day outside on my own. From breakfast at SingPost Centre, to taking the train down to Bugis Junction, to spending 3hours there running errands and buying Xmas presents, and then having lunch in a restaurant by myself.
It got overwhelming at one point and I had to text K. But I was glad I went through with things and didn't chicken out. I hope to do this again....
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Bday surprise
Just had a mini surprise birthday celebration in office...:) So nice of the team...
I'm blessed...!
I'm blessed...!
Gardening Stuff
Sowed some seeds on 4 October...8 of them actually.
It's of a plant whose name I've forgotten. Need to check it up again. It was a long (almost scientific) name...:D
They're supposed to germinate in 2-3 weeks...fingers crossed that seedlings will sprout!
===============
FIL gave me a pot of bonsai a week ago. He also gave me a small pot carrying 1 desert rose baby plant. Bigger than a sapling but not as big as a full-sized plant yet....
Hope these 2 pots hold out well on my balcony!!
===============
I've a small ficus ginseng that I'm intending to make my first bonsai with. Noob attempt.
For my bonsai soil mix, I used the following and I hope it'll work for me....
5 scoops - akadama and kanuma soil mixture
5 scoops - organic compost
4 scoops - volcanic soil
3 scoops - sand
3 scoops - perlite
2 scoops - potting soil (about 1/3 of this was coco coir)
I've mixed the soil already and prepared my pot. All that's left now is to remove the plant from the pot it came in...clean its root ball, maybe trim some roots if needed, and then transplant it into the ceramic pot I prepared....
Will find time for it this Thursday when I'm on leave...
It's of a plant whose name I've forgotten. Need to check it up again. It was a long (almost scientific) name...:D
They're supposed to germinate in 2-3 weeks...fingers crossed that seedlings will sprout!
===============
FIL gave me a pot of bonsai a week ago. He also gave me a small pot carrying 1 desert rose baby plant. Bigger than a sapling but not as big as a full-sized plant yet....
Hope these 2 pots hold out well on my balcony!!
===============
I've a small ficus ginseng that I'm intending to make my first bonsai with. Noob attempt.
For my bonsai soil mix, I used the following and I hope it'll work for me....
5 scoops - akadama and kanuma soil mixture
5 scoops - organic compost
4 scoops - volcanic soil
3 scoops - sand
3 scoops - perlite
2 scoops - potting soil (about 1/3 of this was coco coir)
I've mixed the soil already and prepared my pot. All that's left now is to remove the plant from the pot it came in...clean its root ball, maybe trim some roots if needed, and then transplant it into the ceramic pot I prepared....
Will find time for it this Thursday when I'm on leave...
For Posterity
KH came by my cubicle to pass me my birthday gift...and she wrote a message to me too...
She gives me too much credit though. I am improving also because of the support, encouragement, patience and strength given to me by friends and loved ones. It doesn't matter whether they are there physically with me or not...sometimes love and support can be virtual and equally as effective.
Dearest Mich,
Happy birthday! Just wanna give you a pat on the back. You have been through alot over the past year and you have done well over the past few months. I know it is not easy and I am amazed and encouraged by the amount of strength and courage you have mustered to help yourself get into a better position. Not everyone can do it. Am proud of you! You have taken baby steps so I hope to see you taking toddler steps yah? We still need to make our next date come true ok :)
Hope you like the gifts and find them handy and useful in your daily life!
Big Hugs!
Love,
KH
She gives me too much credit though. I am improving also because of the support, encouragement, patience and strength given to me by friends and loved ones. It doesn't matter whether they are there physically with me or not...sometimes love and support can be virtual and equally as effective.
Dearest Mich,
Happy birthday! Just wanna give you a pat on the back. You have been through alot over the past year and you have done well over the past few months. I know it is not easy and I am amazed and encouraged by the amount of strength and courage you have mustered to help yourself get into a better position. Not everyone can do it. Am proud of you! You have taken baby steps so I hope to see you taking toddler steps yah? We still need to make our next date come true ok :)
Hope you like the gifts and find them handy and useful in your daily life!
Big Hugs!
Love,
KH
Porcupine Mama
Last Saturday afternoon. I was lying on my bed and Alyssa came by. She tried hugging my legs...
I had not shaved and erm...had stubble.
A: Mama! Your legs are spiky! You are a porcupine! You have spiky legs!
And she started touching my legs several times. Giggling louder and louder each time...lol...
-_-''
I had not shaved and erm...had stubble.
A: Mama! Your legs are spiky! You are a porcupine! You have spiky legs!
And she started touching my legs several times. Giggling louder and louder each time...lol...
-_-''
Fengshui??
I honestly think that the fengshui for my team's area in the office is not good. Ever since the office was renovated and we had our team's layout changed in July/August last year...different people have been down.
Mas has been hospitalised at least 3 times since then.
I was on hospital leave in Jan and have been diagnosed with some stuff.
LH has been falling sick so often her nose is perpetually stuffed.
ST has had a rough time with her IVF journey and is now recuperating from an abortion.
DC has been struggling with bad acne since early this year. He's never had acne, even in his teens.
EC has been on MC on and off as well.
MW is a new hire and only joined in Mar but he's been sick a couple of times as well.
And now....our boss....is in hospital.
We've been sending out at least one Get Well Soon hamper each week for the last 3 weeks.
Gosh........and these are only allowed to be sent out for those on hospital leave.
What's going on..........
Mas has been hospitalised at least 3 times since then.
I was on hospital leave in Jan and have been diagnosed with some stuff.
LH has been falling sick so often her nose is perpetually stuffed.
ST has had a rough time with her IVF journey and is now recuperating from an abortion.
DC has been struggling with bad acne since early this year. He's never had acne, even in his teens.
EC has been on MC on and off as well.
MW is a new hire and only joined in Mar but he's been sick a couple of times as well.
And now....our boss....is in hospital.
We've been sending out at least one Get Well Soon hamper each week for the last 3 weeks.
Gosh........and these are only allowed to be sent out for those on hospital leave.
What's going on..........
Friday, October 11, 2019
This.
Tired.
from trying. everyday.
Hurt.
from being sensitive. from expecting.
Tears.
noun. not verb.
Fall.
verb. not noun.
Bounce.
pick yourself up. again.
Lonely.
who really gets it. hardly.
Battle.
noun. and verb.
Walk.
on. but where.
Hope.
sliver. where from.
from trying. everyday.
Hurt.
from being sensitive. from expecting.
Tears.
noun. not verb.
Fall.
verb. not noun.
Bounce.
pick yourself up. again.
Lonely.
who really gets it. hardly.
Battle.
noun. and verb.
Walk.
on. but where.
Hope.
sliver. where from.
Tuesday, October 08, 2019
Little Baby
Broke my heart last night to see Nadya crying so badly.
She was quite upset. One of those issues with friends. She said some girls in her class didn't want to play with her. Also mentioned that one of them was rude and bossy to her.
It has happened several times before but last night she sounded particularly sad and hurt. And the way she was crying while relating her sorrows to me....sigh...it made me just want to cuddle her and protect her and let her know that she's loved, she's wanted and she's beautiful.
She's been more vulnerable, sensitive, and tired recently...I hope she's ok....
She was quite upset. One of those issues with friends. She said some girls in her class didn't want to play with her. Also mentioned that one of them was rude and bossy to her.
It has happened several times before but last night she sounded particularly sad and hurt. And the way she was crying while relating her sorrows to me....sigh...it made me just want to cuddle her and protect her and let her know that she's loved, she's wanted and she's beautiful.
She's been more vulnerable, sensitive, and tired recently...I hope she's ok....
Daddy
Feeling quite bad. Sigh.
Been busy with things recently...work has little bits and pieces of things piling up as well.
I actually forgot that Dad has a cataract op today.
Till my Mum texted to update that he was in the OT already....
Argh....:(
Dad, you will have a smooth procedure ya....Love you...Hugs....
Update:
Dad went into the OT at 120pm and came out at 2pm. Seems that the procedure was very fast and painless. Good for him! He said he only saw colourful lights and then shortly after that the doc said the procedure was completed already. He still needs to go back to the hospital tomorrow afternoon though, for the doc to follow-up and check if the eye is doing well.
Been busy with things recently...work has little bits and pieces of things piling up as well.
I actually forgot that Dad has a cataract op today.
Till my Mum texted to update that he was in the OT already....
Argh....:(
Dad, you will have a smooth procedure ya....Love you...Hugs....
Update:
Dad went into the OT at 120pm and came out at 2pm. Seems that the procedure was very fast and painless. Good for him! He said he only saw colourful lights and then shortly after that the doc said the procedure was completed already. He still needs to go back to the hospital tomorrow afternoon though, for the doc to follow-up and check if the eye is doing well.
Thursday, October 03, 2019
:(
ST just updated L and myself....
Foetus is not viable and pregnancy needs to be terminated. She'll go for the abortion next Wed 9 Oct...
I was crying...I updated Mas...now both L and Mas are crying in office.
I don't know how to comfort ST...
It's heartbreaking and unfortunate...
After 6 months of trials and tribulations during her IVF treatments...she finally got a successful one....and this has to happen....
The embryo somehow stopped growing 2 weeks ago when she was in her 5th or 6th week. There was still heartbeat activity at that point...but today's scan detected nothing and still no growth...
ST is a good person. Nice and good person. She really deserves to be happy...
Fate. Is this fate?
Foetus is not viable and pregnancy needs to be terminated. She'll go for the abortion next Wed 9 Oct...
I was crying...I updated Mas...now both L and Mas are crying in office.
I don't know how to comfort ST...
It's heartbreaking and unfortunate...
After 6 months of trials and tribulations during her IVF treatments...she finally got a successful one....and this has to happen....
The embryo somehow stopped growing 2 weeks ago when she was in her 5th or 6th week. There was still heartbeat activity at that point...but today's scan detected nothing and still no growth...
ST is a good person. Nice and good person. She really deserves to be happy...
Fate. Is this fate?
Wednesday, October 02, 2019
October
It's already October.
It's paradoxical.
So much has happened. Especially in the last 9 months. I worked hard and had achievements and improvements but yet at times, it feels like I didn't do or achieve much.
Maybe it feels this way because I started from a point behind where I was originally at a year back....so even after working hard and working on myself, it's only gotten me almost back to where I was at a year back. There is still more to be done...more fighting and working hard to improve and better myself...
I get tired sometimes and a little dejected as well. But I need to remind myself...despite the tiredness and challenges, I did take steps forward, I did get small wins, I did improve, I did get better, I did progress, and I did keep walking.....
Small wins maketh big wins. Trudge on Michelle.
You can do it!
It's paradoxical.
Time seemed to pass by so fast this year....and yet at other times, it felt like time dragged its feet and took its own time to go by...
There were times when I broke the day down into hours...I survived taking each hour as a small milestone just to get through one working day. I'm glad I've moved on from those days.
.......... ......... .....
This. This is the new norm.
It's paradoxical.
So much has happened. Especially in the last 9 months. I worked hard and had achievements and improvements but yet at times, it feels like I didn't do or achieve much.
Maybe it feels this way because I started from a point behind where I was originally at a year back....so even after working hard and working on myself, it's only gotten me almost back to where I was at a year back. There is still more to be done...more fighting and working hard to improve and better myself...
I get tired sometimes and a little dejected as well. But I need to remind myself...despite the tiredness and challenges, I did take steps forward, I did get small wins, I did improve, I did get better, I did progress, and I did keep walking.....
Small wins maketh big wins. Trudge on Michelle.
You can do it!
It's paradoxical.
Time seemed to pass by so fast this year....and yet at other times, it felt like time dragged its feet and took its own time to go by...
There were times when I broke the day down into hours...I survived taking each hour as a small milestone just to get through one working day. I'm glad I've moved on from those days.
.......... ......... .....
This. This is the new norm.
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