Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Sick

Been unwell for slightly more than a week. 

Nose was runny, then just mainly stuffed. And because I couldn't breathe properly through my nose, I had to breathe through my mouth, which made my throat dry and I ended up having a cough as well. Been trying to get rid of whatever mucus I have. But the moment I step into office (i.e. aircon) my nose stuffs up again. 

It is getting better...but very slowly...

Not sure if going to the doc another time would help though. The Zyrtec I was given didn't help at all. 

May I get well soon...

Overheard

The songs I've heard N humming or singing over the last couple of weeks:

  1.  "You're my wonderwaaa--aallll..!!" (Wonderwall - Oasis)
  2. "I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world! Life in plastic, its fantastic!" (Barbie Girl - Aqua)
  3. "They'll tell you I'm insane...but I've got a blank space baby..." (Blank Space - Taylor Swift)
  4. "I've got the eye of the tiger....you're gonna hear me roar..oh oh oh oh...." (Roar - Katy Perry)
  5. "Yeah -eh eh eh...party in the USA!" (Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus)
  6. "I can buy myself flowers, write my name in the sand...Talk to myself for hours...." (Flowers - Miley Cyrus)
  7. "Lily was a little girl, caught in the big bad world...." (Lily - Alan Walker)

This girl is turning out to be quite the pop music "guru" haha.

Saturday, September 02, 2023

Unfamiliar places

1 September 2023 was Polling Day in the Presidential Elections 2023. 

This round, our polling station was at CHIJ Katong Primary. We dragged both girls along because...no helper, can't leave them at home along and so...all went together lor. 

As with any new and unfamiliar place, I'd get fidgety. I usually can still stay calm enough though. 

There was initially only one queue but as more people came and the queue grew and spilled out of the main gate of the school along the road, the polling station officials decided to get people to do S-queues instead so as to maximise some of the wider spaces within the school compound. 

And that's when the anxiety got to me more. People on both my left & right sides, despite them being maybe a metre apart from me on each side. The increased noise levels from cramming more people into the same space, the humidity, the not-knowing-how-long-more-we-will-be-stuck-in-the-queue....I could feel the anxiety creeping up. 

Tried to keep a straight face. Not sure if I succeeded or not. I remember N holding my hand at one point, maybe she noticed my discomfort. Then she let me go and continued chatting with her sister. I held onto K's hand for the next 10mins or so...I kept my eyes closed for awhile....till I calmed myself down enough. As the queue moved and we morphed back into a single file line, and as we moved into a more open area within the school, things felt alot better...

Grateful for the kids' and K's presence. 

If it were just me alone there, I'd take a much longer time to calm down and may have spiralled more. 

Thursday, August 31, 2023

Little Baby

Little Baby is almost 10. 

So fast, where did all the years go?

A's having some ulcers and sore throat so we had both of them sleep in separate rooms over the last 2 nights. N camped out with me in the master bedroom. 

We had some 悄悄话 chat before she slept. She told me apparently a boy in her class liked her. Seems some of her female classmates shared this with her. 

Hmm..I guess we're starting on all these already...I remember having my first crush sometime in P4 also..

Welcome to tweenhood!


Wednesday, August 30, 2023

Jiayou.

Let's see if Big Auntie comes to visit in the next 1-2 days. 
Getting emotional & frustrated and I just want to cry at anything & everything. 

This seems to be an indicator in the last 6 months or a year maybe? Don't think I had this as my pre-menses symptom last time. 


  • Staff A every other day texting and asking to WFH cos son sick, daughter got issue, auntie sick, washing machine spoil...and every other day making mistakes on the job...
  • Staff B asking to continue WFH on a longer-term basis cos left knee meniscus tear, right knee ligament torn...but refusing to go for surgery and seeking alternative treatment like seeing religious teachers/healers and going for massage. 
  • Staff C happily on holiday now and going on maternity leave from Jan onwards.
  • Staff D keeps updating me on various things but does not communicate properly and technically I am not her reporting officer also.
  • Officer from Ministry just gave me snide remark...sigh. 
  • Hair fall issue...
  • Kid still giving me attitude form time to time though we're both trying to accommodate each other more and better these days...

Just take deep breaths.
And keep moving.
Even if it's a slow step at a time. 

Jiayou Michelle

Friday, August 25, 2023

Peanut

We had Mac for dinner today. 
Alyssa polished off an entire Double Cheeseburger on her own. With some fries and iced lemon tea as well. 

She's 8. I'm 43. 

She can eat more than me when it comes to burgers. 

(0_0)

I dunno which little corner of her stomach did that burger disappear into also...lost the abyss haha....

Our Little Peanut is not so little anymore. 


Hair

At this point, I think I'd rather have white hair than hair fall....

Hair fall situation is still bad. Good thing is blood tests show I don't have any thyroid issue or anaemia. Just that some readings may be on the lower end, but still within the normal range for a lady of my age. 

Doc thinks it is due to the hair's natural growth cycle and/or maybe stress. K & I read online tat some people experience this 2-3 months after getting Covid. 

I've embarked on a hair fall treatment based on an OTC product recommended by the doctor. It used to be only available at clinics till recent years when it was approved to be sold over the counter. I hope this works. 

It is distressing seeing large amounts of hair drop whenever I bathe, comb my hair after bathing, or comb my hair after a night's sleep. 

:( 

My hair is important to me...it's been something I love and am proud of since my teens...

Fingers crossed this is a temporary phenomenon and that it stops soon. 

Here fishy fishy

Just realised that we went from having salmon at least once a week. 

To not having had any salmon at all for the last 4 months, ever since we let go of the helper and hardly did any cooking at home. 


Laoniang wants her omega 3 and healthy fats....lol 

Monday, August 21, 2023

Dance Mama

Nadya started having her ballet competitions around 2-3years back. A few months back I jotted down all of these competitions and her placings in the various categories in a little note on my phone. 

I should transpose them into a nice little excel file. 

It'll be a nice record of her competitions and achievements. 

Who knows, if she's really going to do DSA, this list will definitely come in handy. 

Ang Moh

I took a read of some posts from 10years ago. 

And it hit me. 

The longer I am in the working world, the worse my English gets. 

I can't say that I wrote beautifully last time, but I think I expressed my thoughts alot better than what I am doing today. Or am I losing touch with the sentimental side of myself? 

*horrors*


Monday, August 07, 2023

Dating Shows

I think...I am addicted to Korean and Chinese dating shows...

Part of me enjoys the heart-fluttering moments they sometimes bring to me. Part of me enjoys the Chinese that I get to listen to and "learn" sub-consciously. 

Catching both Heart Signal Season 4 (Korean) and Heart Signal 6 (Chinese) concurrently now haha...

And why all these people so hamsum and pweety one...and all so smart one...
Either double degrees or masters or undertaking PHD research...doctors, lawyers, finance folks, etc...
Nvm...their countries are alot bigger...can find more of such folks around haha...


可以的。

Past 2-3 weeks. Feeling fatigued. Stomach also not doing too good. 

Unsure how much of it is due to the stomach, or menses, or anxiety or not sleeping earlier. Or they are all feeding into and off each other in an undesirable cycle. 

Chin up. Head up. 

Jiayou. 

可以的。

Hair

Since around early Aug, I started to experience hairfall in amounts that are getting me quite worried. 

Everytime I wash my hair, hair falls out...I dunno...50-60-70-80 strands? And the state of my hairbrush after I brush my hair after showering...it's making me quite worried too. 

I hope this is just a phase and it will be over soon. 

Saw an article mentioning some people experiencing this around 2-3 months after getting Covid. I hope this is the cause and it's just temporary.

Fingers crossed...

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Balance

Struggling to find balance in this unbalanced world.

  • work & family
  • me-time to do certain things vs rest & sleep
  • wanting to do more but lacking time, energy, motivation
  • empathy & compassion vs needing to keep things going in the team
  • objectivity vs bias when dealing with some people
  • patience vs firmness with the girls
  • wanting to eat everything vs taking care of a friggin sensitive stomach
  • work vs no work or PT work
  • headspace, mindspace, physical space
  • building and doing vs dreaming
  • cabbing vs bussing
  • buy vs save
  • and...the list....goes on....


Monday, July 24, 2023

22 Jul 2023

时间过得真快, 11年了! 

Thank you sayang...:) 

ooof...

Emo + self-bashing mode seems to be on. 

Ok, means 大姨妈 coming soon I think....

The older I get, the more emo I become when the cycle draws nearer. 

Wednesday, July 19, 2023

Today's Teachings from a Buddhist Monk on YouTube

3 things to give up in life:

1    Give up excuses – embrace your responsibility and face your fears

2.      Give up toxic habits – because we become what we repeatedly do

3.      Give up fear of failure – because success is not final and failure is not fatal


Monday, July 10, 2023

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Self-actualisation – desire to become the most that one can be, morality, creativity,

Esteem – respect, self-esteem, status, recognition, strength, freedom

Love & belonging – friendship, intimacy, family, sense of connection

Safety – personal security, employment, resources, health, property

Physiological – air, water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing, reproduction

I'm on Facebook alot less the last few years. Maybe it's to keep my mental well-being a bit better. On the occasions I’m in, I sometimes end up wondering why folks seem to be well-established in their lower tiers and moving on to their higher tiers.

I feel I’m stagnant in the low/mid-tiers and still focusing on some of my needs in those tiers. 

Yup, I know that it’s not an absolute movement from one tier up to the next and things tend to be more fluid where people move up, down and in-between tiers. And yup, I know I should just focus on myself and my own pace as each person has his or her own path.

Reminders to self.

Just keep working on things, keep working on yourself, keep going. 

Kaizen - little improvements, bit by bit...


Wednesday, July 05, 2023

Chin up.

Feeling a little lost at work. Feel like as if I am not putting in my best. Sometimes 有心无力.

Uncertainty and self-doubt is ever present and creeps up from time to time. Quite self-limiting when it happens. There are better days when it ebbs and I feel more confident of myself, and the things I do. 

Just have to keep walking. Chin up. 




Tongue Drum

My steel tongue drum has arrived.
Or tongue pan or tank drum...this instrument seems to have many names. 

Bought a small one to try. 6-inch with 11 tones.
Not fully sure how to use it yet for meditation sessions but will slowly explore. Think I need to check out Youtube haha.

It's still in the box. Will open it tonight after the girls are asleep. Don't want them fiddling around with it just yet. :)