ISFJ

Read the descriptors for ISFJs a few years back. Suddenly remembered about it and re-read it earlier this evening. 

It described how ISFJs are as a friend, a colleague, a subordinate, a manager, a parent, a lover/partner...and in general. 

Still quite accurate. 

Zombie

Monday 11 March 8pm - 1am - Dry Run

Tuesday 12 March 9pm - 1am Dry Run - some cock-up happened and work only closed at 3am. 

Friday 15 March 11pm - Sat 8am - Full Dry Run

Laoniang zombiefied. Clock abit screwed up....as a result tummy getting abit wonky also. 

Actual system migration happening on 22 March 11pm till 23 March 8am. 

Tahan....Tahan....

Jiayou

Many things to do & settle on the workfront. 

Tired. 3 nights next week for system migration dry runs. Right smack during the school holidays. I hope I can carve out sometime for the girls. I want to spend some time with them before they don't want to spend time with me anymore. Nadya is already at the stage where she doesn't want to talk to me at times...

Stressed. Just glad & thankful I have colleagues who are in this together with me. Pek chek that we have some deadweight around or blur toads that we have to spend extra time to handhold when we already are up to our necks. 

Hang in there. Just want to have some me-time. And a break to just don't do anything except maybe watch videos and go out for walks. Is a week too much to ask for? Sometime in April or May? Will I get the chance to do so? Just feels like the whole world has had their weeklong or 2weeks long breaks but I didn't. Had to work at night while I was at Legoland. 

Breathe. 一步一步来， 可以的， 你可以的, 要坚持到底。

No water

There was a notice from our MCST informing us that there would be no water supply from 2 - 330pm today. 

430 came & went and still no water. 

$#@%$T$^%#U&

FML moment came when....

Laoniang had to have a bad tummyache....right when there's no water...
(Laoniang long time no LS cos tummy was cooperating well over the last few weeks...Murphy's Law...Had to have a bad tummy at this time.) 

Desperate times calls for desperate measures. 

Anyway, let's just say I cleaned up well enough...

I am proud to say I am an experienced mother who has handled diaper changes and diaper blowouts in odd venues and situations. Ahem. 

Oh, and am mighty thankful the flush still worked haha. 

====================

When we received the notice 1-2 weeks back, K & I took the opportunity to share with the girls the water rationing exercise we had when we were young kids in primary school.

I remember helping my Mum & Granny fill up pails and tubs of water, and pots of water too for cooking and drinking purposes. 

A day or 2 without water is really quite inconvenient and I'm glad we're past those water rationing days. 

====================

Update: 530 liao. 

STILL NO WATER??!!

====================

Update: 7:00pm

Water finally came back. Had to run the taps for awhile as there were sediments and water was slightly brown/yellow. Even the water in the toilet bowls were tinged with brown....

深呼吸

My patience level is decreasing day by day. 

At home, dealing with a pre-teen who is testing boundaries and trying to counter everything I say or do.

At work, dealing with blur colleagues, staff, vendors, and dealing with people who are either trying to become taiji or arrow masters, and dealing with some people who 过河拆桥...

One of today's situations:

Me: Pls try PDF-ing 26 or 27 Feb registrations to see if it works. 

E: Ok, here's the PDF of 29 Feb registrations. 

WAH LAU EH. 

Which part of "26 or 27 Feb" do you not understand???

Laoniang 不行了...总有一天 I will explode at one of these folks. 

Big Auntie

There's only 1 reason why...

My lower back hurts

My thighs are aching

My abdomen is cramping up

My tears come so easily these 2-3 days

I felt so lethargic on 2 days last week

I had a breakout 

My weight increased slightly (yay!)

Of Locked Drawers....and Life

Mum pulled me aside on Saturday evening. 

Spent 15-20mins telling & showing me her 2 locked drawers and roughly shared with me their contents, some history & background, where her keys are kept, etc. 

Seems I'm the only one who "knows" for now, and she doesn't intend to inform anyone else. Don't know how to feel about this. 

At times like this too...you know your mum is aware of her age and my dad's age and the clock ticking...and you just listen but don't say too much about anything...and then you start thinking of your own life too and what to make of it so far...and what more to make out of it in the near (and far) future....

Will my life be summarised into 2 locked drawers and a mindful of memories as well? What will I leave behind Who have I impacted? What have I done?

不过，putting it another way...光想有舍屁用 lol...

Ache

Ok laoniang's body is probably abit 慢拍....

Right arm is aching more today after the "basketball" and other "throw ball" sessions on Wednesday afternoon. Lol...

Tummy feels more chui today also.

Teambuilding day

T'was a good day. 

Though I couldn't eat at least 3 or 4 dishes out of the entire Chinese 8-course lunch set, the company more than made up for it. I'm glad to have nice & fun colleagues. 

Teambuilding at Timezone Orchard was fun too. I didn't play many games but learnt some things along the way....no one said so but it's just in hindsight and after observing others....

"Heck, just try."

"Let loose once in awhile. Why should you care who is watching?"

"Grow some (invisible) balls"

Right arm might be slightly sore tomorrow from playing the basketball game...but I think K would be a little proud of me. I did put in some nice shots haha. ;p 

And I took the train home from Orchard to Paya Lebar, then switched to the feeder bus. Woot! Thought I'd be nervous out of my mind but I did it! Maybe having some colleagues around for the first 10-15mins helped to distract me from pulling myself down. 

Unstoppable - Sia

One of those "fight" songs that stirs me up. 

================

All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town

I'll do it 'til the sun goes down
And all through the nighttime
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah, I'll tell you what you wanna hear
Leave my sunglasses on while I shed a tear
It's never the right time
Yeah, yeah

I put my armor on, show you how strong I am
I put my armor on, I'll show you that I am

I'm unstoppable
I'm a Porsche with no brakes
I'm invincible
Yeah, I win every single game
I'm so powerful
I don't need batteries to play
I'm so confident
Yeah, I'm unstoppable today

Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
I'm unstoppable today

Break down, only alone I will cry out loud
You'll never see what's hiding out
Hiding out deep down
Yeah, yeah
I know, I've heard that to let your feelings show
Is the only way to make friendships grow
But I'm too afraid now
Yeah, yeah

I put my armor on, show you how strong I am
I put my armor on, I'll show you that I am

I'm unstoppable
I'm a Porsche with no brakes
I'm invincible
Yeah, I win every single game
I'm so powerful
I don't need batteries to play
I'm so confident
Yeah, I'm unstoppable today

Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
I'm unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
I'm unstoppable today

I put my armor on, show you how strong I am
I put my armor on, I'll show you that I am

I'm unstoppable
I'm a Porsche with no brakes
I'm invincible
Yeah, I win every single game
I'm so powerful
I don't need batteries to play
I'm so confident
Yeah, I'm unstoppable today

Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
I'm unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
I'm unstoppable today

C-fied

Laoniang is morphing into the C-world. Slowly. 

Started with the Chinese reality dating shows. And now with some dramas. :) 

Jiayou

Irritable mood over the last 3 days. Very irritable.

Irked by work. 

Irked by folks who taiji alot. 

Irked by folks who seem to think they know about parenting when they don't even have kids. 

Mostly irked by work, which is not even in my job scope but was arrowed to do by TY who has since left the organisation. Stuck with this thing which was supposed to be a 3-month assignment. It's now been 9 months and counting. 

Abit 心理不平衡

Trying to control myself and come to terms with things as I have for the last few months. 

Getting increasingly difficult. 

Jiayou mama. You can do this. 

Reminder to Self

Don't be too enthusiastic with the squats and calf and knee physio exercises when you know you're going for a walk the next morning. 

Pantry conversation

Morning chat at the pantry sink. 

Kelly: Wah lau I feel like retiring but must still tahan cos my youngest only having A-levels this year 

Shella: Chey, my youngest only 13 lor...I have to tahan longer. 

Me: -_-  my youngest still in primary school lor....you say leh??!!! And I am more or less around the same age as you both lor!!

Incompetence? Nonchalance?

Losing patience with a colleague. 

She's joined us for a year but is clueless half the time. Does things in a haphazard manner, very careless, and tries to smoke her way. 

Because of her, I had to apologise to a partner of ours last night. Even though it wasn't my fault, and I had no idea she sent an email out, and I had no idea she didn't clear the email content with my boss. But cos that partner knows me the longest, he reached out to me and ranted a little. Service recovery had to be done. 

I don't know how many times I've discovered her mistakes. I don't know how many times I've highlighted to her to be careful. 

I hope today I can take deep breaths and weed her out of my mind and work. Taking up too much space & energy since last night. 

If this continues, I may blow up at her one day. 

Boss & I arranged to chat about this when he gets back from his overseas work trip. My guess is the earliest will only be early next week. 

Ok, breathe....let it go first. 

There is another major meeting this Thursday to focus on first.....

Muttering

Besides the daily motivational self-talk that I try to have to prep myself for the day ahead, I find myself talking alot more to myself these days. 

I mutter to myself under my breath. I nag, complain, remind myself of things to do, or talk through the process/steps of what I'm about to do or need to do. Sometimes I talk to guide my thoughts, whether on work stuff or personal things.

Maybe talking verbalises my thoughts and clears my mind better. Allows me to vent off some steam as well sometimes. 

I dunno. 

Externalising my inner monologue?

Do people do this when they get older? 

老了. Cham.

Bleah

Rougher time at work over the last 2-3 weeks. Plus CNY preparations. Plus Nadya's camp preparations.

There was a whole week where I didn't notice that I'd neglected the plants and....

The Orange Jasmine murrata mini bonsai went kaput. Totally dried up. Though I'm not sure how it happened as Alyssa did help to mist & water the plants. Quite sad about it....but in her words "Just buy another one lah Mama!"....we'll see how, it was a nice one, tall, thin & straight with the top like a mini mushroomy ball. 

The Venus flytrap also suffered. about 7 to 8 traps started turning black and dying off.....I hope the remaining few survives enough for the plant to grow new traps. 

On a valiant attempt to rescue it now since the murrata is a gone-case situation. 

Chinese

Been catching Chinese variety shows on and off over the last few years and more in the past year or so. Wonder if it improved my spoken Mandarin or not...hmm. 

It's a lovely language.
Don't know how to describe it. How different words can be combined together to provide a certain feel. 

===========================

Anyway, N's been "invited" to attend Chinese curriculum support. It's only week 3 of the new school term. In the teacher's words "It's to encourage the child to improve". In most kids' mind, it means "I'm not good enough in this subject and that's why I need curriculum support." 

K spoke to the teacher and came away not feeling too happy about things. She couldn't fully articulate why N was shortlisted and whether N's standard was really that lacking. Felt very arbitrary to us. We are perplexed. The teacher mentioned her score for the year-end exams last year. She scored 81 leh?! Above 80 & still selected for curriculum support? 

We don't get it. 6 in her class have to attend these curriculum support lessons for Chinese. Means what? only these 6 scored below a certain mark? Means what? 80% of her class scored 85 or 90 & above meh? 

The teacher also told K "If you think she has many other committments and cannot attend the support lessons, it's also ok. She can skip." Err....then why have the support lessons in the first place? Messaging seems disjointed. 

Anyway, water under the bridge also. Don't think it's something we can opt out of. She'll just have to bite the bullet and go through with it. Luckily the lessons seem to average out only once a month and it's just for 45mins. (Which begs the question.....once a month at 45mins each lesson....enough to provide additional support to a child?)

病了

Felt off on Tuesday night while sleeping...nose stuck, woke twice, once feeling cold and once feeling warm. 

Was ok when I woke. Went to office. 

Got home in the late afternoon and felt feverish. 

By dinner time I was 38C and achey. 

The show must go on...things still need to be settled....system go-live date is something we cannot change

Laoniang 累了

Sibei Zuay Ming Gia Zoh.....

I can only suck it up and try to keep moving forward. 

My team is down by 2 pax and we're dealing with 2 folks from other teams who are draining our patience and energy. 

Ganbatte to Val & I...!!!

Piangzz

is when

you only realise at the end of the day when you get home from work....

that in the morning, you forgot to

blend in that blob of concealer you slapped on a zit on your forehead

and you threw powder foundation over it...

which made it cake up a little.

and so you were walking around the entire day with that small cakey patch on your forehead

maybe no one noticed

I hope no one noticed haha

But the girls did

When I got home and sat down at the dining table with them...

That was the first thing they pointed out to me. 

note to self: be more awake in the morning