工作上有些事情我占时实在是看不开。。。导致我现在有点儿心理不平衡。。。也弄得我有点儿暴躁不耐烦。 也导致了我对某个同事有更深的bias和不好感。
得想办法调节一下自己的心态。。。否则会更“伤身伤心”。。。
Increasing bias and decreasing patience with a particular marketing colleague. Bringing me grief on certain things, and even simple things can be done wrongly. I pray for patience and the wisdom to let things go when things cannot be changed from my one-sided efforts alone.
Tingkat starting from 25 March onwards.
Dinner for 3 pax for 4 nights. Should be enough for our family of 4.
Hope it's ok and I really hope they don't use wolfberries in their dishes.
Feels like I am back to my late teens and early to mid 20s...where my family ordered tingkat for several years when my granny fell ill and couldn't cook and when my mum was still working.
Was 47.5kg this morning.
Yay!
May I reach my goal or 48/49kg soon and sustain it...
Kyne laughed at me again...."人家是要减肥，只有你一个要增肥的".....:D
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Need to keep up with physio exercises, especially the knee. Been lax over the past month plus and I can feel the stiffness in my right knee again.
Need to find myself
Need to keep up with the simple weights stuff
Monday 11 March 8pm - 1am - Dry Run
Tuesday 12 March 9pm - 1am Dry Run - some cock-up happened and work only closed at 3am.
Friday 15 March 11pm - Sat 8am - Full Dry Run
Laoniang zombiefied. Clock abit screwed up....as a result tummy getting abit wonky also.
Actual system migration happening on 22 March 11pm till 23 March 8am.
Tahan....Tahan....
Many things to do & settle on the workfront.
Tired. 3 nights next week for system migration dry runs. Right smack during the school holidays. I hope I can carve out sometime for the girls. I want to spend some time with them before they don't want to spend time with me anymore. Nadya is already at the stage where she doesn't want to talk to me at times...
Stressed. Just glad & thankful I have colleagues who are in this together with me. Pek chek that we have some deadweight around or blur toads that we have to spend extra time to handhold when we already are up to our necks.
Hang in there. Just want to have some me-time. And a break to just don't do anything except maybe watch videos and go out for walks. Is a week too much to ask for? Sometime in April or May? Will I get the chance to do so? Just feels like the whole world has had their weeklong or 2weeks long breaks but I didn't. Had to work at night while I was at Legoland.
Breathe. 一步一步来， 可以的， 你可以的, 要坚持到底。
My patience level is decreasing day by day.
At home, dealing with a pre-teen who is testing boundaries and trying to counter everything I say or do.
At work, dealing with blur colleagues, staff, vendors, and dealing with people who are either trying to become taiji or arrow masters, and dealing with some people who 过河拆桥...
One of today's situations:
Me: Pls try PDF-ing 26 or 27 Feb registrations to see if it works.
E: Ok, here's the PDF of 29 Feb registrations.
WAH LAU EH.
Which part of "26 or 27 Feb" do you not understand???
Laoniang 不行了...总有一天 I will explode at one of these folks.
There's only 1 reason why...
My lower back hurts
My thighs are aching
My abdomen is cramping up
My tears come so easily these 2-3 days
I felt so lethargic on 2 days last week
I had a breakout
My weight increased slightly (yay!)
Mum pulled me aside on Saturday evening.
Spent 15-20mins telling & showing me her 2 locked drawers and roughly shared with me their contents, some history & background, where her keys are kept, etc.
Seems I'm the only one who "knows" for now, and she doesn't intend to inform anyone else. Don't know how to feel about this.
At times like this too...you know your mum is aware of her age and my dad's age and the clock ticking...and you just listen but don't say too much about anything...and then you start thinking of your own life too and what to make of it so far...and what more to make out of it in the near (and far) future....
Will my life be summarised into 2 locked drawers and a mindful of memories as well? What will I leave behind Who have I impacted? What have I done?
不过，putting it another way...光想有舍屁用 lol...
Ok laoniang's body is probably abit 慢拍....
Right arm is aching more today after the "basketball" and other "throw ball" sessions on Wednesday afternoon. Lol...
Tummy feels more chui today also.
T'was a good day.
Though I couldn't eat at least 3 or 4 dishes out of the entire Chinese 8-course lunch set, the company more than made up for it. I'm glad to have nice & fun colleagues.
Teambuilding at Timezone Orchard was fun too. I didn't play many games but learnt some things along the way....no one said so but it's just in hindsight and after observing others....
"Heck, just try."
"Let loose once in awhile. Why should you care who is watching?"
"Grow some (invisible) balls"
Right arm might be slightly sore tomorrow from playing the basketball game...but I think K would be a little proud of me. I did put in some nice shots haha. ;p
And I took the train home from Orchard to Paya Lebar, then switched to the feeder bus. Woot! Thought I'd be nervous out of my mind but I did it! Maybe having some colleagues around for the first 10-15mins helped to distract me from pulling myself down.
One of those "fight" songs that stirs me up.
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All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town
Laoniang is morphing into the C-world. Slowly.
Started with the Chinese reality dating shows. And now with some dramas. :)
Irritable mood over the last 3 days. Very irritable.
Irked by work.
Irked by folks who taiji alot.
Irked by folks who seem to think they know about parenting when they don't even have kids.
Mostly irked by work, which is not even in my job scope but was arrowed to do by TY who has since left the organisation. Stuck with this thing which was supposed to be a 3-month assignment. It's now been 9 months and counting.
Abit 心理不平衡
Trying to control myself and come to terms with things as I have for the last few months.
Getting increasingly difficult.
Jiayou mama. You can do this.
Don't be too enthusiastic with the squats and calf and knee physio exercises when you know you're going for a walk the next morning.
Morning chat at the pantry sink.
Kelly: Wah lau I feel like retiring but must still tahan cos my youngest only having A-levels this year
Shella: Chey, my youngest only 13 lor...I have to tahan longer.
Me: -_- my youngest still in primary school lor....you say leh??!!! And I am more or less around the same age as you both lor!!
Besides the daily motivational self-talk that I try to have to prep myself for the day ahead, I find myself talking alot more to myself these days.
I mutter to myself under my breath. I nag, complain, remind myself of things to do, or talk through the process/steps of what I'm about to do or need to do. Sometimes I talk to guide my thoughts, whether on work stuff or personal things.
Maybe talking verbalises my thoughts and clears my mind better. Allows me to vent off some steam as well sometimes.
I dunno.
Externalising my inner monologue?
Do people do this when they get older?
老了. Cham.
Rougher time at work over the last 2-3 weeks. Plus CNY preparations. Plus Nadya's camp preparations.
There was a whole week where I didn't notice that I'd neglected the plants and....
The Orange Jasmine murrata mini bonsai went kaput. Totally dried up. Though I'm not sure how it happened as Alyssa did help to mist & water the plants. Quite sad about it....but in her words "Just buy another one lah Mama!"....we'll see how, it was a nice one, tall, thin & straight with the top like a mini mushroomy ball.
The Venus flytrap also suffered. about 7 to 8 traps started turning black and dying off.....I hope the remaining few survives enough for the plant to grow new traps.
On a valiant attempt to rescue it now since the murrata is a gone-case situation.
