Not sure what I ate last evening or if it's the environment.
Cheeks and lower jawlines have been itching on and off since last night. Soles of feet are a little tingly. Lower arms, the portion where you lay your arms on the table while typing, is also itching from time to time...
Need to drink alot of water today to flush things out.....
I saw this the other day --> The biggest failure is when you stop challenging yourself.
Tweaking that a little to something that is more palatable to me....
"One big setback is when you stop challenging yourself and when you stop learning things."
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Saw this another day....but I forgot who said it.
"Trust the hardship you are going through and know that it is shaping you into somebody who you are meant to be at the end of the day."
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"I will figure things out. No matter how long it takes me. That is my commitment to myself."
"Not trying means it's 0% chance of success. Taking the first step and trying brings that up to at least 50% chance of success. So just do it, just try."
"There are many parts of me. Even if one part of me doesn't go well or fails, I tell myself that it is okay. I have another me in myself."
(On the many different roles we each play in our lives - mother, daughter, wife, boss, subordinate, peer, etc)
- Park Na Rae, ep 131 Master in the House.
Late to the game but oh well. :)
Just discovered this awesome singer Im Chang Jung. His song "The Love That I Committed" was on loop for quite awhile today. " A Glass of Soju" and "There Has Never Been a Day I Haven't Loved You" are very nice too.
Yes. Korean singer...;p
Side note: He looks exactly like a HK actor...but I can't remember his name....
Happy birthday Michelle!
You’ve worked hard and done well over the last one year. Keep it up! Don’t forget to look after yourself and give yourself enough rest and space to clear your mind every now and then.
Here’s wishing you many good things and may you stay blessed, healthy and happy always. May all hours, days, weeks and months be fruitful and delightful!
I can do this. Yes I can.
However difficult this project is. I can do it. I can handle it.
Bit by bit. Piece by piece. Step by step.
要相信自己，忍着，熬过去就好了。。。再多几个星期，再多两三个月（？） 就好了。
可以的，你可以的。。。坚强，咬紧牙根，勇往直前!
但也要记得别给自己压力，要放开多一点，放轻松多一点。。。
太紧绷也不能做事，也对自己的身子不好。。。
加油加油加油！！
过几天就要庆祝 the big four-O “大寿”了。
有舍感想？也不晓得。
没什么大愿望大目标。只希望家人好友和自己都开开心心，健健康康，顺顺利利， 就好了。
还有那两个小瓜平平安安就好了。
对我而言，低调舒服是最好的。收到好友的祝福，和 K 吃顿饭， 散散几步，过后自己有几小时的 me-time 就够了。
不怎么想切蛋糕唱生日歌什么的。。。
可我妈硬要在星期六晚上买个蛋糕给我唱生日歌。。。我是不喜欢焦点在身上的一个人。。嗨，不知道为什么她最近老爱 "force her ideas on others"。。强迫别人。
为了避免冲突，也就委屈点，由她去。。。
I didn't know that 10 October was apparently World Mental Health Day.
Till I saw posts about it (both sponsored and shared by friends) on Facebook.
To all who are feeling not quite themselves, who feel like they are losing their shit, who are feeling down and out, who are struggling within themselves, who are trying to make sense of what is happening, who are feeling confused and lost, who are having a difficult time, who think they are losing their grip on things, and who are overwhelmed......
You are enough.
You are brave and strong. You can do it.
Talk.
To someone.
Cry it out.
Cry it out some more.
Keep moving.
Keep going. Keep walking.
Jiayou.
Ganbatte.
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It's been almost 2 years since the day I connected some dots and realised I was not quite myself anymore and that I was struggling. It took me some courage and effort but Sasi's openness and candid advice gave me the final courage to take that step and get myself diagnosed properly.
And so the journey began. Of challenges and hurdles, of self-love and self-discovery. Of trying, and trying again. Of managing myself, and managing myself some more.
I've been told that it's good that I am quite self-aware and am very willing and open to learn ways to manage myself.
I am thankful, for the support and encouragement from friends and loved ones and even close colleagues (and my direct boss).
For the acceptance and openness. For the non-judgement. For the strength given when I lacked it.
For the listening ears. For the time and attention given to me when I needed them.
It is however, still a lonely journey in some ways. No one can truly understand what you're feeling unless they've experienced it.
So anyway...I will keep working on myself.
Bit by bit. Little by little.
Sometimes the going gets tough and you feel like you're taking several steps back.
But 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, is still a step forward.
Even if it's 3 steps forward, and 4 steps back, I just have to keep trying.
To move forward.
Jiayou Michelle.
You are enough. You are doing good.
Keep going.
Only been less than a month that I have the 3 ladies reporting to me (officially only a week actually)....and already:
Dealing with junior officers who may not have the experience and depth, and who may have a more micro view of things, and who may not have an understanding of the stakeholders involved...
Patience is needed..
Breathe...
One step at a time...
Breathe...
I signed up for these.
So I will 勇敢面对，继续拼，继续往前走...
If at times I feel I am being treated unfairly, I may voice out...though there are some situations when I can't...and there are also situations when it might be better and easier and faster just to accept (swallow?) things and move on...
So how? LPPL
憋在心里， 还是继续走...
sometimes, it does get to me.
when public recognition went to someone else for work that i did or was a part of.
if it's my staff, i'm fine.
if it's another peer, i'm sort of fine too.
if it's the coll, no i'm not that fine.
call me petty. but no i'm not fine.
but nevermind.
what of it.
路还是要走的
工还是要做的
i know what i've put in.
i think my boss knows.
不用管闲杂人
The girls wear me out sometimes.
Especially nights when Alyssa wakes 2 or 3 times, or wets herself at wee hours in the morning. Pun intended.
But I love them loads.
And for that, I will soldier on.
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Recently, I've started becoming National Geographic Mama again...
This project started early last year. Till I ran out of ideas and animals to teach them. Back then, it was more about visuals, how the animals look like, etc.
These days, with their increased knowledge and understanding, I've ventured into explaining about the animals' habitats, sizes, diet. And how they nurture their young, etc.
Nadya asks about birds' wingspans these days (wah...!), and Alyssa asks about animals' babies and how they look like. Both ask about the animals' diet and how they catch their food lol...
Quite fun! :)
More than a year in the making. And I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel yet.
This particular project that I had to inherit from someone who left the team, is taking up alot of my time, energy, effort, brain cells and brings me much stress too.
This feels worse than a 2-year project I was handling 8-9 years ago, where we had to manage many more stakeholders, mainly external parties, and which involved more $$$.
Somehow this project involves alot less $$ but involves 10 times more red-tape and frustration. I feel like I am audited before actually being audited.
Every turn brings new info and throws new spanners into the mix. Every other turn brings added obstacles and red-tape that we (I) need to figure out how to cross. Sometimes desperately. Company reputation at stake. International relations at stake. My team's reputation at stake.
Jiayou Michelle. Hang in there.
I hope this clears up and gets settled within the next one month.
I want to enjoy my birthday in peace....
1. The world will not stop a second for you.
2. Stand up from where u fell.
3. Never lose faith as this is the path that you need to walk through
4. There is no such thing as miracle. Each individual path is pre-destined. When a “miracle” happened, it is just destined to happen this way.
From ST
Written when she was about to undergo a D&C procedure
But, she's picking herself up slowly...Jiayou gal...you may not see this...but know that I am rooting for you....
And so...this morning I received a Whatsapp message from one of my soon-to-be staff.
It was an image that read "A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way"
And accompanied by the message "Thanks for being the one!"
It was nice little perk-me-up on what started out as a rough morning....but I think...I don't know the way alot of the time though and also need help and guidance from staff before deciding which way to go..It works both ways lah...we learn from each other along the way...
Nadya gave Alyssa a Maths test yesterday haha...Alyssa got all 5 questions correct. Yay!
She also gave Alyssa a spelling test. And Alyssa got all 5 words correct too! Yay! Dog, Cat, Out, Car....and one more word that I cannot recall.
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They spent at least 4-5 hours playing, eating and bathing together from 3pm to 8pm yesterday. I was pleasantly surprised they were content in each other's company and there were ZERO squabbles.
I was proud and thankful too haha....cos that meant we had peace at home. ;p
Nadya even fed Alyssa some potato nuggets when we were at Mac for dinner. Glad she was taking care of Alyssa...:)
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Today's the first day back at school...cranky & tired kids haha.
Wonder if they can keep up the same lovey dovey momentum tonight!! Fingers crossed!
Why my registrars pattern zuay zuay...since 3 years ago so many of them pattern zuay zuay. Zuay until I headache.
Every other month there'll be some operational dua zong issue or some contractual compliance issue or some customer service issue...with some issues dragging on for a year or more. These are on top of the mergers, acquisitions, consolidations, cessations and dissolutions going on.
When I settle on issue and think I can take a small breather, another issue crops up. Xian ley!!
I look after 2 kids at home (erm...make that 3 ;p) and have to look after 3 staff and 25 registrars..I feel like a Mother Hen. No wonder I nag so much.
Breathe in....Breathe Out.....Fhuuuhhhh....
Nevermind.
Ganbatte...!!
One thing at a time...one step at a time...however slow it takes, one step forward is still a step forward. 一步一步来.....
Hopefully I can get suitable candidates fast, quickly interview them and get someone in soon. Then that person can start learning and I can offload some of these issues to her.
