What if one day comes and I don't want to care about anything at all anymore?
Let all issues drop into a black hole of oblivion.
How nice that would be.
Let everything be just rainbows and butterflies and fluffy clouds.
Caring too much.
Have to let go.
Can I learn to let go even more?
Maybe I should carry a broom around and remind myself to sweep more things under the carpet.
Saddest thing I've heard today. From ST.
"Actually you don't look too good. Got to love yourself more."
Nadya's homework...she was supposed to do a writeup or poem or mindmap regarding the word "永远".
While munching on dinner...laoniang came up with the following, which she happily copied....zzzzzzzz.....
永远是友情
也是吃不完的冰淇淋
永远是亲情
也是玩不完的游戏
永远是爱情
也是舔不完的棒棒糖
To be honest....I don't know if it makes sense lol...
The right knee's feeling better and less stiff after re-starting physio exercises at home again.
Reminder to self to keep this up.
Had lunch with Michelle Ho yesterday.
A little sad she'll be seconded out quite soon. Yet another familiar face from Suntec days will be gone for the next few years.
I've always felt a certain affinity with her. Besides sharing the same first name and having had people send wrong emails to us during our early years in this organisation (just cos we share the same first name), we were both from the same primary school, grew up in Tampines (she is still staying there!), are Peranakans, had the same boss, liked the same stuff, etc...We each have 2 kids, and each had a helper and now both of us have no more helper too lol.
Hard to find folks of the same wavelength and values.
Sincerely wishing her well in her new place and may we catch up again in the near future.
Fairly emotional & anxious.
Groggy & sleepy.
Tired & quite bloated.
Waiting for big auntie to come this round is quite a challenge.
Val & my little private joke.
"We discover something new each day."
Referring to our new system. And the many bugs and defects that it still seems to have. We've taken stock, yes, it's 90% accurate that we're something new each working day.
I hope things smoothen out sooner rather than later.
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Glad ST is back from maternity leave tomorrow.
My patience has been tested many a time over the last several months. I hope with her back in action, I will be able to regain more sanity, and have more time for myself too.
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Wondering ever so often. What am I doing? What is it that I want?
Mid-life crisis?
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It's a new work week tomorrow. I hope that particular colleague doesn't test my patience too much.
I am irritable and my resting bitch face may not hold that much before it becomes a blacker face.
Prepping for chats with bosses. Not sure when they will be...but I hope my mind is in a better state when it happens.
Currently feeling a little all over the place given the number of ops & technical issues that are cropping up and the various outreach by diff parties through the day. It's lessened these 2 days and I am thankful.
Managed to go for a walk yesterday. Felt better & dragged myself out. Happy I did. To more walks and longer walks.
Slowly starting my knee physio stuff again. The aches and stiffness hasn't abated fully, though they aren't there all the time. Will need another few more weeks I guess. I need to be more consistent.
I need to find a day to take leave and go cut my hair.
I need to take a few days off and just nua?
Just realised the Marketing colleague I am losing patience with...has stepped on the toes of several others within the team. To the extent that...for our upcoming shift to another level of the same building, at least 6 of us want to avoid having her cube near or next to us.
Tbill cut-off yields are very good over the last 2-3 issuances. Laoniang is jumping on the bandwagon. Hope I can get a good rate for this current exercise.
Was not consistent over the last 1.5-2months in doing my knee physio. I think I skipped it most of the time.
Can feel the tendon there getting stiff and achy again. The area that I injured around 6.5months ago when I fell down on a slippery metal surface while walking home.
Reminder to self....
Be consistent and continue with your knee physio and back physio exercises on a daily basis.
We've moved into April.
Too fast. Too fast.
April brings about K's birthday, and our 15th paktor anniversary....
And also the girls' weighted assessments, Nadya's ballet exam, my granny's 10th death anniversary....and more horribly warm weather lol...
K was with Alyssa in BKK yesterday for her 1st gymnastics competition. I was looking after Nadya and bringing her to her classes....
After her last ballet class, we met up with my parents for dinner at Bedok Mall Sushiro...My mum insisted on paying cos she said it was a rare opportunity to get to eat with me outside in a mall, and that she has treated my brother & sister-in-law on various occassions so she wanted to treat me too lol. After dinner, I went to get buns and she paid for those too,
Told my parents: "Wah thank you leh. Today I am sponging off the both of you!"
My mum replied: "It's ok lah my dear . Happy to be your sponge!"
At the moment, I thought it was the cutest comment haha....and laughed heartily.
....
...
..
.
And then when I went home and thought about it further.......
I was wondering......if I sponge off them....am I the sponge or are they the sponge? I am the sponge right? hmmmmmmmmmm LOL LOL LOL....
I love my parents haha...
Laoniang is in an emotional state today.
7early 8early already feeling zapped out & teary.
Many operational screw-ups to clean up after the migration.
Jiayou jiayou jiayou...
This too shall pass....This too shall pass...
我可以的
Empty vessels make the most noise. How true.
I have a few good girlfriends who are born in the Year of the Sheep i.e. 1979 or early 1980. Strange that she is the only Sheep that I have no patience for and cannot hang around with.
It is one thing to 唠几句 for anything & everything that others say. But it grates on my nerves if she acts like she knows everything about our work areas. When she's the one who isn't even clear of her own work stuff and relies on some of us to get things right.
Ok, enough ranting. Back to work...
工作上有些事情我占时实在是看不开。。。导致我现在有点儿心理不平衡。。。也弄得我有点儿暴躁不耐烦。 也导致了我对某个同事有更深的bias和不好感。
得想办法调节一下自己的心态。。。否则会更“伤身伤心”。。。
Increasing bias and decreasing patience with a particular marketing colleague. Bringing me grief on certain things, and even simple things can be done wrongly. I pray for patience and the wisdom to let things go when things cannot be changed from my one-sided efforts alone.
Tingkat starting from 25 March onwards.
Dinner for 3 pax for 4 nights. Should be enough for our family of 4.
Hope it's ok and I really hope they don't use wolfberries in their dishes.
Feels like I am back to my late teens and early to mid 20s...where my family ordered tingkat for several years when my granny fell ill and couldn't cook and when my mum was still working.
Was 47.5kg this morning.
Yay!
May I reach my goal or 48/49kg soon and sustain it...
Kyne laughed at me again...."人家是要减肥，只有你一个要增肥的".....:D
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Need to keep up with physio exercises, especially the knee. Been lax over the past month plus and I can feel the stiffness in my right knee again.
Need to find myself
Need to keep up with the simple weights stuff
Monday 11 March 8pm - 1am - Dry Run
Tuesday 12 March 9pm - 1am Dry Run - some cock-up happened and work only closed at 3am.
Friday 15 March 11pm - Sat 8am - Full Dry Run
Laoniang zombiefied. Clock abit screwed up....as a result tummy getting abit wonky also.
Actual system migration happening on 22 March 11pm till 23 March 8am.
Tahan....Tahan....
Many things to do & settle on the workfront.
Tired. 3 nights next week for system migration dry runs. Right smack during the school holidays. I hope I can carve out sometime for the girls. I want to spend some time with them before they don't want to spend time with me anymore. Nadya is already at the stage where she doesn't want to talk to me at times...
Stressed. Just glad & thankful I have colleagues who are in this together with me. Pek chek that we have some deadweight around or blur toads that we have to spend extra time to handhold when we already are up to our necks.
Hang in there. Just want to have some me-time. And a break to just don't do anything except maybe watch videos and go out for walks. Is a week too much to ask for? Sometime in April or May? Will I get the chance to do so? Just feels like the whole world has had their weeklong or 2weeks long breaks but I didn't. Had to work at night while I was at Legoland.
Breathe. 一步一步来， 可以的， 你可以的, 要坚持到底。
