Granny

Gran was perfectly fine and doing well 2 weekends ago but she wasn’t doing too good during the last week. Her mind went off the radar again on Thursday afternoon. Come to think of it, it has actually been quite a long time since she had such an “episode”.

She was crying, screaming and shouting at the nursing home and demanded to be allowed to go home and see her father and mother (who have erm…been dead for at least 60 years or more). She was cursing at the nursing home attendants. She was in anguish, she was crying and she was sad. The staff there didn’t know what to do with her. They had to restrain her and tie her to the bed.

I feel sad just thinking about it. The fear, desperation and despair she must have felt. Her mind was not lucid.

The staff had to call my Dad who in turn had to rush down to the nursing home in a cab. The moment she saw him, she clung to him and kept calling him “Father”. Sigh. He managed to calm her down after 1.5hours of talking, cajoling and convincing. By the time he left, she was “back to reality” and knew who he was, and she could sort of identify her grandchildren and great-grandchild in photos as well.

On the Saturday just past, just like any other Saturday, I went to visit her. She was tied up again. Tied to her mattress with a piece of white string and a cotton band around her tummy.

Sigh. It really is quite a low feeling to see your grandparent in such a helpless situation. On the one hand I understand that they need to do it when she is unstable just in case she gets off the bed and hurts herself or others. On the other hand, I also wish for her to be granted more dignity. But I guess, at this point in time, safety and stability is still top priority.

Whatever it is, I’m happy and thankful that she can still recognise me and remember my name. Ultimately, my longtime wish is for her to be present at my wedding dinner……

Dunno why I always tear when talking about Gran. Now it’s just typing only and my floodgates are open. Argh.