What gives?

Today was good. Just didn't expect the evening to be yet another challenging episode.

2 crying kids. 4 frazzled adults. Frayed nerves all around.

Mama trying to keep the kids, especially the older one, settled down.
Mama being "educated" by the mother-in-law about what to do and how to handle the situation.
Mama faced with either scowls or concerned furtive glances from various folks.
Mama being told that the older kid is only like this when mama is around. (So my fault ah?!)
Mama being told that she is not firm enough. (You have not seen me scold my kid in my own home. You might also have a different parenting approach to me so let's agree to disagree ya.)
Mama feeling frustrated at various things and at the situation but still needing to stay or at least show herself in a calm and happy state so the kids don't spiral down into a crying abyss again.

I'm happy. But at the same time, I'm frustrated.

What gives?