We had a team meeting this morning and the boss brought up the issue of teamwork and care within the team. As a small team, we should care and help each other out. I agree, I really do and I'll strive to do it as far as possible.
My own key take-away?
Graciousness, thoughtfulness, consideration, care, concern and respect is important. Not just within a team. But even within a family and within the wider society. If all of us could just aim to do an act (or two) with one of these traits in mind, then the world will be a much better place.
My other thought?
The one colleague within this small team of 12 pax, the one who exhibits the most selfish tendencies, happens to be sitting right next to me in office. The Coll. Or Coll the Troll as I used to name her previously.
What's the most important trait I think we all should have?
Being considerate. Is this the same thing as having emphathy? I don't know...similar concept I guess. Thinking of others, how they would feel, putting yourself in their shoes and keeping them in mind.
Tuesday, April 04, 2017
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Toilet Training
It's been 2 weeks...and I think it's going great.
There were some nights when she actually lasted the entire night without going to pee. Although she still woke from time to time.
Nadya's a trooper!
Yay can save $ on diapers already and keep her remaining diapers for Alyssa to use. :)
There were some nights when she actually lasted the entire night without going to pee. Although she still woke from time to time.
Nadya's a trooper!
Yay can save $ on diapers already and keep her remaining diapers for Alyssa to use. :)
Friday, March 24, 2017
......
Frustrations.
To highlight or not to highlight.
Family. Work. Self-development. (Or the lack of).
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
Toilet training
Dry nights
Dry nights with fussing
Dry nights with no fussing
Wet nights
Wet nights with fussing
Wet nights with no fussing
Wet nights with mega-fussing
Towels
Tissue
Wet wipes
Extra T-shirts
Extra undies
Jiayou Nadya!
You can do it!
Jiayou Mummy!
You can do it!
Dry nights with fussing
Dry nights with no fussing
Wet nights
Wet nights with fussing
Wet nights with no fussing
Wet nights with mega-fussing
Towels
Tissue
Wet wipes
Extra T-shirts
Extra undies
Jiayou Nadya!
You can do it!
Jiayou Mummy!
You can do it!
Friday, March 17, 2017
This....This motherhood thing
I don't think I'm doing a very good job at this motherhood thing.
My patience wears thin easily. And I yell at Nadya too frequently for my own liking. I admonish her for many things. Too much for my own liking. Am I stifling her?
I catch myself sometimes but the impatience and accompanying annoyance creeps back almost immediately, when she does things she's told not to or when she launches into one of her tantrums and list of unreasonable demands.
What can I do to stop myself?
What can I do to make things better for her and myself?
Loosen up?
Let some things go?
Lower expectations and standards?
I have to keep trying and working at it.
I have to.
My patience wears thin easily. And I yell at Nadya too frequently for my own liking. I admonish her for many things. Too much for my own liking. Am I stifling her?
I catch myself sometimes but the impatience and accompanying annoyance creeps back almost immediately, when she does things she's told not to or when she launches into one of her tantrums and list of unreasonable demands.
What can I do to stop myself?
What can I do to make things better for her and myself?
Loosen up?
Let some things go?
Lower expectations and standards?
I have to keep trying and working at it.
I have to.
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Mes filles...Ils ont volé mon coeur
Nadya.
We've started a new thing together recently. Just recently...
And it makes my heart soar each time. :)
I'd say "I love you sayang" when I bid her goodbye after dropping her off in school.
She'd reply with a "I love you mummy" or "I love you mama".
*beams*
=========================
Alyssa.
We've started a new thing together recently. Just recently...
And it makes my heart soar each time. :)
I'd say "Mama will give you a kiss." And then I'd plant a kiss on her cheek.
I'd then ask "Can you give me a kiss too?" And then she'd smack a wet kiss on my cheek too.
*beams*
*sniff*
Ok...not so good...
I felt the onset of a sore throat when I finally went to bed at 1245am last night, after settling a cranky Nadya. When I woke this morning, I felt a little sniffly....
Mind over body.
I cannot fall sick.
...
....
.........
Where's my honey and lozenges again?.....
I felt the onset of a sore throat when I finally went to bed at 1245am last night, after settling a cranky Nadya. When I woke this morning, I felt a little sniffly....
Mind over body.
I cannot fall sick.
...
....
.........
Where's my honey and lozenges again?.....
Wednesday morning 15 March
It could be the sudden change in routine.
It could be due to her cough and phelgm.
Nah...I think it's probably the sudden change in routine.
K's on ICT. And so the inlaws come over every morning now to bring both kids to school. I'd hitch a ride with them and they would drop me off at the nearest bus-stop before dropping the kids off.
What's been happening over the past 3 mornings is that Nadya would kick up a big fuss in the morning. "I don't want to go to school." is a common protest. "I don't want yeye nainai to bring me to school. I want dada to send me to school." is another common one.
This morning takes the cake. She had calmed down already and we were all nicely strapped up in the car. Less than 5mins later, while we were on the road, she started fussing. Like nobody's business.
She tried to wriggle out of her car seat straps and actually managed to get both arms out. My FIL was panicking. My MIL was trying to distract and calm both kids down by talking and singing incessantly. It erm...didn't really work. Alyssa gets easily affected by someone else crying and so she started crying as well.
2 bawling and screaming kids.
1 panicky driver.
1 kancheong grandmother.
1 helpless mother.
In one car.
We managed to find our way to the nearest carpark. Got out and this Mama had to bring on her full charm and mama hacks to the table.
Got the big one settled in a few minutes.....and carried the wriggling small one.
All got back into the car and we finally moved off.
Only managed to get the small one into her car seat somewhere along the journey....
I was so very late by the time we checked both girls in to their school.
FIL offered to send me to work in the end...
I hope tomorrow and Friday morning turn out ok.
I hope next week turns out well too!........
Ganbatte!
Fighting!
Fighting!
It could be due to her cough and phelgm.
Nah...I think it's probably the sudden change in routine.
K's on ICT. And so the inlaws come over every morning now to bring both kids to school. I'd hitch a ride with them and they would drop me off at the nearest bus-stop before dropping the kids off.
What's been happening over the past 3 mornings is that Nadya would kick up a big fuss in the morning. "I don't want to go to school." is a common protest. "I don't want yeye nainai to bring me to school. I want dada to send me to school." is another common one.
This morning takes the cake. She had calmed down already and we were all nicely strapped up in the car. Less than 5mins later, while we were on the road, she started fussing. Like nobody's business.
She tried to wriggle out of her car seat straps and actually managed to get both arms out. My FIL was panicking. My MIL was trying to distract and calm both kids down by talking and singing incessantly. It erm...didn't really work. Alyssa gets easily affected by someone else crying and so she started crying as well.
2 bawling and screaming kids.
1 panicky driver.
1 kancheong grandmother.
1 helpless mother.
In one car.
We managed to find our way to the nearest carpark. Got out and this Mama had to bring on her full charm and mama hacks to the table.
Got the big one settled in a few minutes.....and carried the wriggling small one.
All got back into the car and we finally moved off.
Only managed to get the small one into her car seat somewhere along the journey....
I was so very late by the time we checked both girls in to their school.
FIL offered to send me to work in the end...
I hope tomorrow and Friday morning turn out ok.
I hope next week turns out well too!........
Ganbatte!
Fighting!
Fighting!
Thursday, March 02, 2017
Peanut - the cheery one
Your happy and innocent smile this morning blew me away.
We were in the car en route to school.
You tilted your head back and angled it so that you could see out the window.
At the trees passing by. At the canopies flitting by so quickly.
I bet you got groggy from staring at them.
Was that why your smile morphed into an absolutely cheeky one thereafter?
Your eyes crinkled up. Your cheek had a dimple because your smile was so wide open.
You looked gorgeous. You looked so adorable. You looked so lovely.
Stay this way sweetie.
Bless the world with your smiles and happiness always.
Grow up well but do take your time too. No need to hurry.
Dada, mama and jiejie love you always and will always be here with you, for you.
We were in the car en route to school.
You tilted your head back and angled it so that you could see out the window.
At the trees passing by. At the canopies flitting by so quickly.
I bet you got groggy from staring at them.
Was that why your smile morphed into an absolutely cheeky one thereafter?
Your eyes crinkled up. Your cheek had a dimple because your smile was so wide open.
You looked gorgeous. You looked so adorable. You looked so lovely.
Stay this way sweetie.
Bless the world with your smiles and happiness always.
Grow up well but do take your time too. No need to hurry.
Dada, mama and jiejie love you always and will always be here with you, for you.
Friday, February 24, 2017
thoughts
Didn't realise I've not posted here for 2 weeks already.
Was busy at work...
Was busy for the last week as well because Peanut fell sick big time.
Had to take halfday childcare leave on 3 separate days...
Can't quite recall what else I was busy with also lol.
Other thoughts occupying my mind include my role in my workplace and how should/could/would I be able to tweak it so that :-
(i) I can make myself more relevant to the company and play a more important role
(ii) I can develop myself abit more
(iii) I can guarantee a few more years of career here...
For all the planning and organising that I do in my daily activities...(and those who know me well know the amount of detail that goes into it at times...)
The big irony is that I suck at planning my own life and career...I really suck at it.
I'm 37 this year. Either I take a bolder move now or I remain stuck when I hit the big 4?
I don't know...sigh.
Was busy at work...
Was busy for the last week as well because Peanut fell sick big time.
Had to take halfday childcare leave on 3 separate days...
Can't quite recall what else I was busy with also lol.
Other thoughts occupying my mind include my role in my workplace and how should/could/would I be able to tweak it so that :-
(i) I can make myself more relevant to the company and play a more important role
(ii) I can develop myself abit more
(iii) I can guarantee a few more years of career here...
For all the planning and organising that I do in my daily activities...(and those who know me well know the amount of detail that goes into it at times...)
The big irony is that I suck at planning my own life and career...I really suck at it.
I'm 37 this year. Either I take a bolder move now or I remain stuck when I hit the big 4?
I don't know...sigh.
Thursday, February 09, 2017
Windows to my Soul
When I was in my 20s, I used to wonder how long I would wear contact lenses for.
The answer has come to me.
I'm 37 this year. I've been wearing contacts lenses since I was 18. That's almost a good 20 years.
I wore them on a daily basis, whenever I stepped out of the house. Unless it was to the neighbourhood shops to run errands. When I started working, I wore them almost 12 hours a day. Even longer if I headed out after work. And I wore them for even longer periods of time during days that I went clubbing or pubbing. Not that those days were many.
In the last 3 years, since Nadya was born, I started wearing glasses out abit more than usual. When Alyssa came along, it was a given that I wore glasses on weekends.
And alas, in recent months, my eyes started their protest. Maybe I've not been treating them well over the years....they cried foul when I wore contact lenses. They grew tired and weary of contact lenses and sometimes even if I wore glasses, they'd give me a tough time too. It was almost as if they were telling me "you have worked us hard for so many years....please let us rest more now..."
So yeah.
I've been wearing glasses to work for several weeks now. At least 2 months actually...contact lenses are now reserved for special occassions like CNY or Xmas or when I have events where I have to meet many people....
Other than that...glasses seem to be the way to go already...
I was told by the eye doctor previously......."You are young but your eyes are old."
Well, my eyes are older than they should be due to my high myopia.
Born with them. Myopia runs in the family.
Though I am the only one afflicted with very high myopia.
Bopian. Sigh.
Wednesday, February 08, 2017
Friend?? I guess not.
And so I did it again. (I shouldn't have actually but no harm trying right?)
I approached someone online whom I considered a friend. Even though he went MIA for a long time. I IM-ed a "hi".
Met with a closed door on my face. He went offline.
Ok, point taken. You do not want to have anything to do with me anymore.
But I hope you do remember how I helped you out a little when you were down in the dumps. I need not have loaned you that $1,000 but I still did. You asked for $2,000 or $3,000. I gave you partial of that amount. You got your ass burned badly and dragged down your entire family. It was something I found out later through our mutual friend. I hope you learned your lesson and I hope you picked yourself up after that.
But if this is how you burn bridges.....alright....so be it.
p/s: I approached you not because I wanted to ask you to return the money. I've already written it off as a bad debt 8-9 years ago.
I approached someone online whom I considered a friend. Even though he went MIA for a long time. I IM-ed a "hi".
Met with a closed door on my face. He went offline.
Ok, point taken. You do not want to have anything to do with me anymore.
But I hope you do remember how I helped you out a little when you were down in the dumps. I need not have loaned you that $1,000 but I still did. You asked for $2,000 or $3,000. I gave you partial of that amount. You got your ass burned badly and dragged down your entire family. It was something I found out later through our mutual friend. I hope you learned your lesson and I hope you picked yourself up after that.
But if this is how you burn bridges.....alright....so be it.
p/s: I approached you not because I wanted to ask you to return the money. I've already written it off as a bad debt 8-9 years ago.
Granny
Yesterday, 7th February, was Granny's birthday.
Happy birthday Granny!
I hope you had fun up there with Ipoh, Tuanku, Uncle Benny and now Uncle Bobby....
Were there popiah and buah keluak? Or telur geragau. Or bubur chacha. Or nasi kuning? Or ikan assam? Or......
I miss you...
Happy birthday Granny!
I hope you had fun up there with Ipoh, Tuanku, Uncle Benny and now Uncle Bobby....
Were there popiah and buah keluak? Or telur geragau. Or bubur chacha. Or nasi kuning? Or ikan assam? Or......
I miss you...
Monday, February 06, 2017
Mortality
As we grow older, as our parents grow older and as our relatives grow older, mortality and its finite nature looms more and more into view.
We gather on festive occasions. We try to get-together on some other days as well. With each gathering, the human spirit seems to sense that days are slowly but surely getting numbered.
Gatherings between the older generation relatives are still spritely and gay, though sometimes, you can sense the darker and more sombre undertones. When the female aunts and your mother sit together and talk in softer tones in a corner, about falls and fractured wrists, operations and kidney tumours, about high blood pressure and bad joints, high cholesterol and diabetes. When the uncles and your father sit together at a table, playing blackjack and sipping wine and you see your father politely decline a second can of beer and another glass of wine because you know, too much alcohol in your 70s is probably not a good thing.
You start to realise too. That the elders who seemed to be strong and proud superheroes when you were a wee child are now still your superheroes. Just that they've lost weight and don't stand as tall as they used to before. That they are just that little bit more hunched over, with more wrinkles and weathered smiles. That maybe some of them are wearing glasses now when they didn't use to before. But their hearts and spirits are still the same. And that's what's important.
We celebrate new births and see the new generation grow bigger day by day. Sometimes, we tend to forget that the elder folks are doing that too. Growing older day by day.
Just received news last evening of a distant uncle who passed on. I last saw him several years back. While we were not close, news of his death still brought me some amount of sadness. He was young by my standards. 70 only. Taken away by cancer. His older brother, whom I liked alot when I was a child, was taken away by lung cancer maybe almost 10 years ago. Both were heavy smokers.
I hope Dad and Ahgor are ok. They are both older and are attending his wake this afternoon. They were cousins who played together in the same house when they were kids. I should give Dad a call this evening....
Rest in peace Uncle Bobby.
You can now start playing mahjong with Gu-gong, Ipoh, Uncle Benny and Mama.
We gather on festive occasions. We try to get-together on some other days as well. With each gathering, the human spirit seems to sense that days are slowly but surely getting numbered.
Gatherings between the older generation relatives are still spritely and gay, though sometimes, you can sense the darker and more sombre undertones. When the female aunts and your mother sit together and talk in softer tones in a corner, about falls and fractured wrists, operations and kidney tumours, about high blood pressure and bad joints, high cholesterol and diabetes. When the uncles and your father sit together at a table, playing blackjack and sipping wine and you see your father politely decline a second can of beer and another glass of wine because you know, too much alcohol in your 70s is probably not a good thing.
You start to realise too. That the elders who seemed to be strong and proud superheroes when you were a wee child are now still your superheroes. Just that they've lost weight and don't stand as tall as they used to before. That they are just that little bit more hunched over, with more wrinkles and weathered smiles. That maybe some of them are wearing glasses now when they didn't use to before. But their hearts and spirits are still the same. And that's what's important.
We celebrate new births and see the new generation grow bigger day by day. Sometimes, we tend to forget that the elder folks are doing that too. Growing older day by day.
Just received news last evening of a distant uncle who passed on. I last saw him several years back. While we were not close, news of his death still brought me some amount of sadness. He was young by my standards. 70 only. Taken away by cancer. His older brother, whom I liked alot when I was a child, was taken away by lung cancer maybe almost 10 years ago. Both were heavy smokers.
I hope Dad and Ahgor are ok. They are both older and are attending his wake this afternoon. They were cousins who played together in the same house when they were kids. I should give Dad a call this evening....
Rest in peace Uncle Bobby.
You can now start playing mahjong with Gu-gong, Ipoh, Uncle Benny and Mama.
Wednesday, February 01, 2017
jiayou!
I've not been very productive at work since December. It's the Xmas + CNY festivities...and the general holiday mood that's permeating the air.
I do some work...and then I take a break...and the cycle repeats.
Li chun is typically on 4 Feb. That means the change in Zodiac from Monkey to Rooster only happens then.
I hope the Rooster Year brings me better and more positive energies.
jiayou!
I do some work...and then I take a break...and the cycle repeats.
Li chun is typically on 4 Feb. That means the change in Zodiac from Monkey to Rooster only happens then.
I hope the Rooster Year brings me better and more positive energies.
jiayou!
CNY
It's been a hectic 2 weeks. With a mad rush for CNY preparations. Not that I had to prepare alot of things though. But still the minimum of needing to clear up some junk for the house, getting some nice things for the in-laws, getting the angpows ready, making sure there are oranges at home, etc.
And so CNY day 1 & day 2 came and went already.....So fast!
I think Alyssa enjoyed herself somewhat. She got to go visiting and explored new places. She had the chance to see some dogs too.
Nadya had a fall on day 1 and sustained some cuts and bruises that got me quite flustered and upset. She had a deep cut inside her lower lip and had a big patch of scratches on her chin area below her lower lip. She cried badly and my heart got kinda scrunched up for the entire day after that...:(
It's CNY day 4 already and I'm glad to see that youth is really on her side and her wounds are healing faster that I expected.
Food. I was a glutton. Ate many snacks non-stop....and erm...sustained a cough and sore throat by the time day 1 evening came lol.
It was a so-so CNY. Nothing out of the ordinary...nothing very exciting.
I've yet to count the angpows the girls received. Maybe I;ll only do that at the end of CNY.
I've yet to count those me and K received too...:) Yes, even though we are adults...we still receive some angpows from some relatives and our parents. The Cantonese still do give out angpows to married couples....so long as you are younger than them I think....
And so CNY day 1 & day 2 came and went already.....So fast!
I think Alyssa enjoyed herself somewhat. She got to go visiting and explored new places. She had the chance to see some dogs too.
Nadya had a fall on day 1 and sustained some cuts and bruises that got me quite flustered and upset. She had a deep cut inside her lower lip and had a big patch of scratches on her chin area below her lower lip. She cried badly and my heart got kinda scrunched up for the entire day after that...:(
It's CNY day 4 already and I'm glad to see that youth is really on her side and her wounds are healing faster that I expected.
Food. I was a glutton. Ate many snacks non-stop....and erm...sustained a cough and sore throat by the time day 1 evening came lol.
It was a so-so CNY. Nothing out of the ordinary...nothing very exciting.
I've yet to count the angpows the girls received. Maybe I;ll only do that at the end of CNY.
I've yet to count those me and K received too...:) Yes, even though we are adults...we still receive some angpows from some relatives and our parents. The Cantonese still do give out angpows to married couples....so long as you are younger than them I think....
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Songs
Today, the OSTs of Descendants of the Sun and Goblin accompany me at work...
Both shows' OSTs are nice.. DOTS' songs are romantic and somewhat pop-pish. Goblin's songs are whimsical, romantic, dreamy and romantic...
I think I will have withdrawal symptoms when Goblin ends its run on 21 Jan...:(
Both shows' OSTs are nice.. DOTS' songs are romantic and somewhat pop-pish. Goblin's songs are whimsical, romantic, dreamy and romantic...
I think I will have withdrawal symptoms when Goblin ends its run on 21 Jan...:(
Past Few Days
Friday evening
Had an allergic reaction to some Indian food I ate. The dinner was part of the group's offsite activities. I felt a strange yet familiar itch starting from my insides as it radiated out to my scalp, my eye lids, lips, and arms...my eyelids are usually the first to get affected...
This time round though, part of my lower lip swelled up and also felt numb with a slight throbbing sensation. I started freaking out because that has never happened before. Wanted to leave immediately but I couldn't get a cab. It was Friday evening, and I was along Race Course Road....cabs were impossible. I couldn't even get through any hotline. Grab and Uber were useless as well.
I called K eventually and he came to rescue me....Took lots of water and an antihistamine pill and the hives and swelling went down by midnight....*phew*
Till now I have no idea what caused it. Could be a prawn I ate, could have been some of the spices that were used in the Indian food.
Saturday
Woke with diarrhoea. Xian max. Went to the doc immediately. Went to the toilet maybe 6-7 times throughout the day even with medication. I was still holding out pretty ok though. I could still look after the girls......
Sunday
The morning was pretty alright. Things changed after I had a late lunch at 1:30pm. By 2:30pm, whatever I had for lunch ended up in the toilet bowl...It's been a long time since I last vomitted (I didn't even vomit once while expecting both girls) and the feeling of retching was quite bleah.
I was flat out and just lay in bed for 3 hours after that, half dozing, half awake.
Monday
Ok in the morning and afternoon, queasier in the night.
Tuesday
Back to work. Fingers crossed that my tummy will settle down soon.
It has been a queasy morning so far....
Last few weeks/days of the Monkey Year...jiayou jiayou...
Tides should be changing soon??
Had an allergic reaction to some Indian food I ate. The dinner was part of the group's offsite activities. I felt a strange yet familiar itch starting from my insides as it radiated out to my scalp, my eye lids, lips, and arms...my eyelids are usually the first to get affected...
This time round though, part of my lower lip swelled up and also felt numb with a slight throbbing sensation. I started freaking out because that has never happened before. Wanted to leave immediately but I couldn't get a cab. It was Friday evening, and I was along Race Course Road....cabs were impossible. I couldn't even get through any hotline. Grab and Uber were useless as well.
I called K eventually and he came to rescue me....Took lots of water and an antihistamine pill and the hives and swelling went down by midnight....*phew*
Till now I have no idea what caused it. Could be a prawn I ate, could have been some of the spices that were used in the Indian food.
Saturday
Woke with diarrhoea. Xian max. Went to the doc immediately. Went to the toilet maybe 6-7 times throughout the day even with medication. I was still holding out pretty ok though. I could still look after the girls......
Sunday
The morning was pretty alright. Things changed after I had a late lunch at 1:30pm. By 2:30pm, whatever I had for lunch ended up in the toilet bowl...It's been a long time since I last vomitted (I didn't even vomit once while expecting both girls) and the feeling of retching was quite bleah.
I was flat out and just lay in bed for 3 hours after that, half dozing, half awake.
Monday
Ok in the morning and afternoon, queasier in the night.
Tuesday
Back to work. Fingers crossed that my tummy will settle down soon.
It has been a queasy morning so far....
Last few weeks/days of the Monkey Year...jiayou jiayou...
Tides should be changing soon??
Monday, January 09, 2017
I wonder...
When I look at some people....they can sing, dance, act, play musical instruments, and are also good in a sport (or two), and can cook, and do well academically...and they look good...
Then I look at myself and wonder...
What am I good at?
What can I do?
What have I achieved?
Yes, I'm 36 going on 37 but I do still have self-bashing moments.......
Then I look at myself and wonder...
What am I good at?
What can I do?
What have I achieved?
Yes, I'm 36 going on 37 but I do still have self-bashing moments.......
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