Pain and painkillers

The regional epidural wore off pretty quickly this time round. 

Within 2 hours from when I was first given the shot, I could wriggle some of the toes on my right foot. And within 3 hours, I could feel the initial throbs of pain and discomfort from my contracting uterus and from where they cut me open to take Peanut out.

Within 4 hours I was breathless and panting from the increasing pain and requested for painkillers. For some reason, the pharmacists took extremely long to verify the type of painkiller I was to be given and I only managed to get my painkiller jab at 315pm, 5 hours after the initial epidural jab. 

By then I was holding the bed rails and not talking. If I had to speak, it would be in short huffs and puffs and in some sort of a whisper. 

This was what I was dreading the most. 

The aftermath. And the slow recovery process. 

Jiayou to me. 

Oh yes...

Oh, and for the record, Peanut's official name would be Alyssa. :) 

Meaning joy and happiness in Hebrew and noble in Getman, French and English. 

Chinese and dialect names are pending the fengshui master's expert advice. Akan datang. 

Peanut is here!

And so, we are four now. A family of four. 

Peanut arrived at 10:45am on 24 September 2015, Thursday, barely 30mins after I was given my regional epidural shot and roughly 45mins after I was wheeled to the operating theatre from my room in the ward. 

My first thought when I felt the baby being pushed and yanked out from my belly? 

"She sounds like a duck." 

Her wails resembled a duck's quack I kid you not. And yes, she's a screamer like her older sister. In fact, I think her lungs are stronger than her older sister's. 

They have the same hair at birth. Thick, black, waxy and oh so wavy...if Little Baby's hair sets a precedence of what is to come, then it means that by the age of 12-15months, 95% of Peanut's curls and waves would have disappeared. It'll be a waste I think. 

Peanut turned out to be a bigger baby. Gynae had predicted that she would be a small one like her older sister but...to her credit, she ended up being more than 3kg. 3.065kg to be exact. More than 300grams heavier than Little Baby. She measured 48cm at birth, just 1cm longer than Little Baby last time. 

Peanut had an extra piece of skin hanging from her left thumb. A "skin tag" is the official term for it. A narrow strip of skin with a knob of what resembles a ball of blood clot at the end of that string of skin. 

The paediatrician said the entire string of ball and skin would drop off on its own soon and that there would be no need to trim or snip that strip it off. And the PD also explained that the skin tag was likely an extra thumb that was not eventually formed. 

Gosh.

Anyway, I'm just glad that she has a full set of 10 fingers and toes where they are supposed to be. 

During our skin to skin contact nd bonding time, Peanut appeared to be rather content and comfortable to be on my chest. Naked, sticky and covered by numerous warm blankets, she fell asleep pretty quickly on my chest and bawled angrily when the midwife shifted her so that her mouth could be placed near my boob to encourage latching. 

She's a natural latcher like her older sister. I'm glad for it makes for easier breastfeeding. Only thing is...I only saw her for that hour of bonding time. 

She was then whisked off to a high dependency baby nursery due to low blood sugar levels, which could affect brain development. So she was being kept there for further observation. She seems to be doing better already and would likely be "returned" back to my room on Friday morning. 

While I miss having her with me, I think I appreciate more the opportunity to be sleeping peacefully tonight. Lol. I could do without bonding with her tonight I guess. Many a sleepless night filled with cries and milk and pee and poo looms ahead. 

We are stopping at two. 

Partly due to my age, and partly due to my health reasons. Even the gynae advised us to be content with 2 kiddos. 

I told myself to fully treasure Peanut's growth and developments going forward. And of course to love and appreciate Little Baby's progresses and achievements too. 

The plug

I've had a plug in me more times than I can remember. Well, definitely more than the fingers on my right hand. 

I've had it on both right and left hands, on the wrist, on the back of the hand and on the side of the wrist. 

This time round it's on the right hand, on the side of the wrist and done by a young man named Jeremy who seemed too nervous and young for my liking. He did not tell me to take a deep breath when he inserted the tube. I did it on my own, drawing from past experience. 

He took 5 vials of blood to run tests. I don't recall having so much taken from me during the previous delivery. :(( 

He then taped the plug in place. Didn't do that tidy a job I think. 

My wrist hurts a little now. :(  Hope it won't be too sore when the plug is eventually removed. I don't like it on my right hand. My master hand. Means I have to remind myself not to use or rely on that hand too much. 

Time check = 115am. 

F.O.O.D

It's the realisation of not being able to eat many things in the next few weeks that causes you to have cravings.....currently on my mind are....

- Hokkien mee 

- Char kway teow (have not had this for AGES)

- Chye tow kueh (both white and black ones!)

- Nonya bakzhang

- Fried beehoon with eggs

- My mum's fried rice

- BBQ chicken wings

- Simple tomato-based pasta 

- Chicken rice 

Ohm

In the words of Michael Jackson.....This is it!

K and I spent 2.5hrs waiting for admission. Worth the wait though. For we managed to get a private room. 

He has since gone home to look after N. 

It's 645pm now. Feeling kinda alone now. Good and bad. Having some me time but at the same time wanting some assuring company. Lol. Dilemma. 

I have no idea yet when the csec will be tomorrow. That is scary. It is like as if I can whisked off anytime to the OT. 

Trying to calm myself a little. The jitters are here on and off...as you can tell from my staccato disjointed writing. 

Day 0

Wearing unglam flip flops to the hospital...

Note to self: 

Need to buy nicer looking sandals or slippers to replace those I threw away...

Mama

Just saw this on FB: 

Mama: the glue that holds everything together even when she feels like she may fall apart. 

Loving it. 

Love my mum too. 

K is overseas these 2-3 days and so in this critical time, my mum came over to stay with me. :) 

The little girl has been relatively excited to have her Popo stay over. When she usually falls asleep at or around 9pm, she has been only falling asleep at 1015-1030 these 2 nights. I figure tomorrow night will be the same thing again lol. 

She now asks for Popo to be around during bedtime. My mum, who was lying in my bed earlier tonight, had to pretend to be asleep before the little girl finally gave up and agreed to go back to her own bed. 

Little (not so little?)

Little Baby is just about to turn 2 only. 

Yet, many people think she's 3 years old. Whether they meet her in person and interact with her or whether they have only seen her pictures. They all think she's 3 years old lol. 

Maybe it's the hair that makes her look more mature? She is of average height and size so I don't think those are the factors here. Hmm. 

Jiayou

I felt giddy and faint earlier today. It was late morning before lunch and my lips turned pale. I was scaring myself actually. I decided that it was probably because I didn't have enough food in me and also the humid weather. 

I sought my helper's assistance to bring lunch to me and I ate in bed. Scoffed down my rice and soup and then proceeded to concuss....for the next 4 hours. 

I'd woken up several times in between. Once due to N's teacher calling me and the rest of the time because I was alternating between feeling cold and feeling warm and switching on and off the aircon. 

When I finally woke at 430pm, I only felt slightly better. But at least I didn't have such pale lips anymore. I had heartburn though because I'd gone straight to lying down after my lunch, and as a result the food wasn't digesting properly. 

K is down with fever. I hope we hang in there. Just a week to go before I deliver. Praying to God that I keep well during these last few days...

Jiayou....

Incompetent fool

Strong words. But yes, I muttered them under my breath earlier. I was quite irritated. 

I'd gone to bed at 9pm because I wasn't feeling well. Only to be woken at 930pm by a call, from a banquet manager from a certain R_ _ _ _ _ _ z _ _ _ _ s Hotel. I am currently looking for a venue to host Peanut's manyue celebration and had written to them seeking a quote. 

So this guy called, identified himself and proceeded to tell me that I'd given him the wrong email address and as such he couldn't send me his quotation. 

Hello? Which planet are you from? If you managed to read my email enquiry in the first place, it means my email went through to you. Which means you just need to click "reply" to send over your information to me.

What do you mean I gave you the wrong email address?? 

He then insisted on verifying my email address and proceeded to spell it out in full. It reached a point where he realised he made a mistake in "copying and pasting" my email address wrongly, which was why his email bounced back to him. 

Hello? Which planet are you from? You do not call a customer up at 930pm for such a ridiculous issue when you could have double-checked your own work! 

Also, Sales and Marleting 101. You DO NOT call your customer after working hours unless you have been given the mandate and permission to! In this case, I am not even a customer yet, just a potential customer. 

How do you expect me to trust you to do a good job of handling my 80/100 pax event if you can't even handle my email query properly? 

So yes, I muttered those words out of irritation after I ended the call with this guy. 

Am I harsh? Perhaps. I am usually more patient but he caught me in a bad time. And the ridiculousness of his reason for calling grated on me too much. 

And now, thanks to his guy's interruption, I can't get back to sleep. It's been an hour since the call. Argh. 

Home improvement

Not quite how you would expect a home improvement to be but well...

Just did up a small wall in little baby's room. I bought this height measuring sticker and adornments way back in April but never got round to putting it up on her wall. 

Finally did it this morning. And realised that the measuring tape starts only from 65cm...strange. 

Anyway, hope she likes it, what with the dancing elephant, prancing monkey, lion, giraffe and stars. :) 

My small surprise for her. I shall see if I can video her reaction his evening when she comes home. :)))

Voila

3rd completed piece.

This end-product didn't quite touch my heart the way the 2nd piece did though. 

Guilt

There's that feeling of guilt. An awful lot of it. 

That I cannot provide Little Baby with enough comfort in her time of need. She has been cranky and a little unwell recently and had asked for me to carry her. 

I've had to reject her time and again. I could only offer to hug her on the sofa or in a bed or hold her hands...to which she would refuse. 

And the thought that I can't carry her till maybe 2-3 months later (need to let the csec wound heal sufficiently first before I can carry heavy loads) just makes me feel even worse. 

Boo. :( 

I miss the times when she hugs me or pats me or buries her head in my shoulder when I carry her....

Beanie pillows

What do you do when you are too heavy and achy to walk far, and hence can't shop? You go online instead and let your fingers do the browsing. 

Qoo10 has earned a huge pile from me over the last several months/weeks. 

My latest purchase just arrived. Realised I forgot to prepare beansprout pillows for Peanut. And voila...online I went about 6 days ago and ordered 2 pillows. 

2 days ago the pillows arrived...loving the designs...the owl one is pretty cute. 

Trying to sun them first but the haze has blocked out any semblance of the sun from my balconies lol...

That elusive thing

430am. 

After suffering the onslaught of several dipshit mosquitos, feeling the constant kicks of Peanut, and hearing the many (worrying) stirrings of Little Baby through the baby monitor, it is official, I can't get back to sleep. 

Been awake for at least 45mins. And it was a light sleep before that. Forsee a "panda-fied" me tomorrow. 

One last try to get back to sleep. 

Fingers crossed.....

Of rain and the little girl...

There was just a huge clap of thunder. I hope Nadya's not scared. I only wish I was next to her to comfort her if she was feeling afraid. :( But alas, she's not here with me at this moment....:( 

Little baby, mama misses you a lot...:(((((

Little baby

I hope little baby gets well soon. 

The haze must have gotten to her. Came down with fever on Sunday and she's still running abit of a temperature earlier this evening. 

Her appetite's pretty much gone for most of the day. She refused lunch and dinner and her afternoon milk and only took 1/2 a hot cross bun in the morning for breakfast and another 3/4 of a hot cross bun for teabreak at my inlaws'. 

I was elated when she actually finished the entire bottle of milk I made for her at 730pm earlier on. 

She seems to be refusing to take milk at my inlaws' place. Even when she is not unwell. Trying to figure out why. Helper Maryann said a possibility could be that my mother-in-law gives her too many options if she refused her milk. Eh biscuits, cheese, raisin bread, buns, fruits, etc. Hmm, sounds possible an explanation. 

Anyway, I hope little baby sleeps well tonight. K and I only managed to get maybe 3-4 hours of sleep last night....sigh. 

That's life...

Bossy folks will always be bossy folks. 

If you're not in a position to jeopardize relationships, then 就是 (1) minimize interaction, (2) lun and then (3) lun somemore. 

Enough said

I will be strong. 我会努力，会坚强。