thoughts...from a wary, weary soul...

I admire you in a way..
For having the people skills & the charm to have people gravitate toward you..
You get along with most...
Admire your energy to keep up appearances & masks...

On the flipside...
I disapprove of the way you are so chummy with some...
Yet spill negativity about them when their backs are turned..
Wanted to use the word despise (instead of disapprove)..but felt it to be too strong..

You use the words...I cannot stand her! She is stupid! She is dumb!
She gets on my nerves! She irritates me! She is an idiot!
And when the other person faces you again...you're all smiles & jokes to them...
Tell me...how do you make it seem so effortless...to upkeep such hypocrisy?

I now doubt the sincerity you have when you laugh with me, when you joke with me.
Who knows what you might say when you bitch to others about me?
Am I being made out to be a bimbo if not a hypocrite?
Am I being made out to be an idiot as well?

I cannot help but feel suspicious...when you are on such good terms with hmm...certain people..
Forgive me but I cannot help but think...are you looking for something useful out of this?
Are you fishing for some good use somewhere?

Lately, bitchiness is overflowing..
Jibes, ribs and jokes are conducted in a manner not too nice..
Oh, call me sensitive. But I can't help but feel like it was purposeful and of intentional malice..

Fine. You are the goddess and I am the peasant.
If it makes you feel any happier.
*rolls eyes*

Oh such negativity....
Hmm..not healthy at all..haha...