Her vocabulary

And so, besides Mama, Dada, Porpor, Yeye and Nainai....the following are the words she uses to communicate with us...

1. Opok or Obok - means "open". Mostly used when something's in a sealed box or plastic bag and she wants to get at it.

2. Poopoo - well...as the name suggests

3. Wark or Walk - pronounces it correctly sometimes

4. Meerk - means "milk". Most often used before bed or when she wakes in the morning or in the middle of the night.

5. Baobao or Baba as a short form - means "carry me". 

6. No more

7. More

8. Mum mum

9. Nana - sometimes this refers to herself and sometimes it is just a random sound she makes

10. Bar - means "bus"...she can't seem to make the "s" sound 

11. Tar - means "star", same thing that she cannot pronounce the "s"

12. Baabaa - means a particular black sheep featured in a nursery rhyme book or the song "Baa Baa Black Sheep"

13. Dog or Wou Wou - means "dog"

14. Ter - I think this means "water" but I need to observe her more. I've only heard her use this a handful of times.

15. Mar - I have yet to figure out what this means as she has only just started using this these couple of days. 

Thankful

For some reason, although my event is taking place in Singapore, people from overseas have been buying me meals. Some have given gifts for Little Baby as well. Maybe they feel they know her from my posts and pictures of her on FB lol.

Feeling really thankful and blessed. And grateful too!

Happy camper. :)

Get well soon little baby (and me)

Here we go again.

Doc says I have stomach flu. That was this afternoon.

And now it seems I have diarrhoea too. 

Not sure if the little girl passed it to me or I to her. 

God please let us heal soon! 

This Saturday is buah keluak making day, next week I have an important event and and and...CNY is coming too...

Bah....

Today is one of those days where at the end of the day, I feel like bawling my eyes out.

Not to say the day was without its high points. Just that the difficulties and challenges sort of outweighed the good stuff. 

On the more positive side of things, I managed to get a load of washing done and I managed to mend my torn skirt. 

Spent the day at home looking after the girl who wasn't feeling very well. Bad stomach and diarrhoea yesterday. Her diarrhoea was not so persistent but her distension and general stomach discomfort was very much present, judging by her stickiness to me. Practically carried her the entire day. 

So here I am now at night, with sore arms and back, groggy with my own medication and having bad indigestion. I feel like puking. Bah. 

breathe.

working.

with the school calling me every now and then to update me that Little Baby is pooping watery stool.

working. (or trying to)

with the boss coming over every now and then to ask me things or discuss stuff.

working. (or trying to)

with a team member asking me every now and then how to do this and that.

working. (or trying to)

with someone from the ministry on my back chasing me for something.

feeling abit pekchek.

called people. no one is picking my call.

more pekchek

有时候

有时候有些事心放宽一点

有时候有些事还是少说

有时候有些事收在心里比较好

有时候有些事就别去想

有时候有些事...

starting the green stuff again....

I dragged K and Little Baby out on Sunday afternoon. We popped by Katong Flower Shop for about an hour. And I came back with 3 new pots of plants and other paraphernalia.

Little Baby slept early that night and I managed to get the opportunity to do some simple gardening in the balcony. Glad K brought me to the nursery to get all those things. It's been a very long time since I managed to do any potting about in the balcony.

Not that it's my own balcony that I'm fiddling around in, it feels even nicer...

Current projects:
(1) Try to keep all my pots healthy. One or two of them which I bough a few months back when we first shifted in are showing signs of not doing well..I hope they survive!

(2) Propagate my Bowles' mint and African Violet.

My colleague's Venue flytrap is a young plant and is currently only doing so-so...he said once it gets stronger he might be able to get me a leaf to propagate...hehe. I'll be excited if that day really comes. Always wanted one but it's a challenge to find bugs and flies to feed it...

Little Baby

She's growing fast. Wishing sometimes that she could slow down a little and let us savour her toddlerhood and babyhood  more.

She's speaking more now.

Dada. Mama. Yeye (my FIL). Por por (my mum). Ball. Bird. Cow. Flower. Poo Poo. Shoe. Park (means carpark). Tah (means star).

And she understands a lot more words and sentences, and she can also understand 2-step instructions like "Pick up the ball and bring it to Mama". 

My favourite game with her is the "Where?" game. 

Good way to distract and sometimes it offers me a way to get her off my back when she is too clingy. 

"Where is doggy?" That's her soft toy.

"Where is your waterbottle?"

"Where is Winnie the Pooh?" Another soft toy. 

"Where is Dada?" Go find Dada. 

"Where is your bolster?"

And she toddles off to go find these things. Sometimes she gets distracted along the way and sits down to play with whatever it was that she chanced upon. Sometimes she really does go find these things. 

Somehow the first shape she has learned to recognise is the star. Not a square or circle or oval or triangle. But a star. And she clasps her fingers repeatedly when she sees a star in a book. That is her hand signal for the song "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". 

She is getting cheekier too. She knows I would get miffed if she spits out her food and so she sometimes does it. Slowly. She would spit out a little and I'd wipe it off. Apparently she would keep food in her mouth and after I wipe her, she would spit out the rest in installments. Again and again. Till I find something else to distract her. 

Baking

Worked from home today. 

And decided to give baking a shot again when I had some time in the afternoon. (Actually it was more like I was too xian to work. I thank my boss and company for this flexibility). 

I made muffins on Saturday but they (especially the surface) turned out quite hard. I called them biscuits instead.

Today's muffins were much better and I actually enjoyed the choc chip ones. They could still be better though. Another time, I'll try again. 

Fashion

She picked this outfit yesterday when we wanted to head out. Well, at least the pants and shoes.

Not that matching and a little obiang. 

She's still a baby though haha. Let's hope she gets more colour coordinated and develops more finesse in aesthetics and fashion next time! 😜

The Coll

As a manager, who has staff reporting to you, shouldn't you lead by example?
You penalise them when they head out for lunch because they are not supposed to as they are on afternoon leave.

And yet, you do it yourself. Not once, not twice but on several occasions.

Where's the integrity? Super double standard lor........
The more I see these things, the more I lose my respect for you......

Nadya at 15 Months

And so Little Baby is turning 15mths old on 9 Jan 2015. What's her stats now?

Weight: 9.4-9.5kg (70-75% percentile)

Length: 75-77cm (around 50th percentile)

Teeth: 2 stubby lower front incisors and 2 stubby upper front incisors (all are stubby because they seem to grow out halfway and just stop there)

Mongoloid marks: The one on her right shoulder is faint but still visible.

Motor Skills

• She gets up on her own now to walk and is walking quite steadily. She does not bother to see where she is going though and barges through anything and everything and thus falls over quite often. Either that or she gets excited and walks faster than her feet can handle and trips over herself lol.
• She has discovered the twisting motion and is twisting the caps off pens, and my makeup pens...She has also discovered how to tap down on click pens...(my bedsheet has several pen marks now because K gave her a pen to play with zzzzz...)

Cognitive/Emotional Development

• She is still throwing a hissy fit when you take something away from her or when you don't give her what she wants.
• She can get pretty stubborn sometimes.
• Sometimes refuses to let me hold her hand when she's walking (but I need to on some occasions especially when she's on a tarred road or at the carpark)

Communication/Social Skills 

• She is not waving so freely anymore. :( Upsetting to see. Maybe she has learned that since people (strangers) are not so forthcoming with waves and smiles, she probably should not waste time extending such pleasantries to them. I noticed this trend since a few weeks back...
• Sticks to me like glue when with other people she is not familiar with. Takes a long time to warm up. I hope this is just a phase.
• Babbling alot more with intonations. 
• She can say the words "Ba-Bye" to mean bye bye. It used to be "BaBa" to mean bye bye. She can also say "bird", "ball", "mama", "dada" and "yeye". Her favourite word seems to be "ball". 
• Recently likes to say "WHOA!" 
• Understands alot more questions and words now. "What does a dog say?" and her response would be "wou wou" or "woof woof". "What does a cow say?" and her response would be "moo" or "moo moo". 
• If she is in the cot, she knows to stop whatever she is doing and lie down on her back with her head on the pillow when she sees me approaching with a bottle of milk.

Food

• She fell sick with diarrhoea and a bad stomach the week before Christmas 2014 and was eating poorly. She's fully recovered now and is eating with a vengeance haha. I am always happy to see her eating and finishing up her food.
• New foods that she's tried in the last 1 to 2 months:
• small bits of my tomato sauce pasta
• cake
• home-made banana pancakes
• the burger bun of a filet-o'-fish hamburger
• McDonald's hotcakes (minus the sweet syrup) 
• grouper fish
• salmon
• threadfin
• tomato
• corn
• oats 

1001 Things

*breathe*

Many things. Each with its own numerous nitty gritty sub-tasks.
Many timelines to adhere to. More schedules to plan out.
And many many small things to track.

My to-do list with its tasks and sub-tasks and sub-pointers for each sub-task is getting very long.

Have tried delegating some things out but technically I don't have any staff below me and there is only that much I can delegate out. 

Super stretched with many things which were not in my original job scope being thrown to me.

*breathe*

If I don't get my High Achiever status and good bonus this year I am going to......

I dunno.....

.......

...

Pluck the boss' hair out???

He better appreciate what I am doing because I am handling a very big piece of one of his work items for him.

Goodbye?

Friends since 1994. You were my senior in secondary school. We were both prefects, we were in the same Art Club and you had a crush on my good friend as well.

You graduated first and I graduated 2 years after you. We kept in touch for the longest time after we both left our school, albeit on and off.

I remember there was once I even crept out of my house in the middle of the night (at the risk of incurring the wrath of my parents) to meet you at my void deck because you were crying your heart out over a break-up.

We last met in 2011 when you popped by my office area. We had kopi at Yakun.

In 2012, I invited you and your wife to my wedding. You took a long time to reply me but said you would be there. And then on the very day itself, you cancelled on me. You said you had to work at the last minute. It was a Sunday, I understand because you do shift work. I was upset but I understand too if you were busy and all you could do to inform me was to send an SMS. I would even understand if you told me afterwards that it was because your wife didn't like me and hence didn't allow you to attend my wedding.

But then after that you went MIA. No calls, no SMSes, nothing. Since then, every time your birthday rolled around, I would send an SMS greeting to you. I received no reply both in 2013 and 2014 when I wished you. I reached out a few times in between, dropping you an SMS each time to ask how are things. No replies.

Over time I didn't even know if you had changed your number. You were dormant on Facebook as well. I was wondering what went wrong? How were you? How were things between you and your wife? And your cats too...

I knew you were still around though. You "liked" one of Little Baby's photos I posted up on Facebook the day she was born. A silent "like" I could easily have missed seeing.

I was busy for much of 2014 but at the back of my mind, I often wondered how did our friendship deteriorate suddenly a few years back? There was no pre-empt, no warning sign, no major quarrel or blow-up. And I think neither of us did anything stupid to warrant a sudden downward dip in our friendship.

I was perplexed. I had half a mind to not salvage our friendship anymore and let it spiral out of existence. Many a time I told myself to let it go. But I decided to reach out to you again. I dropped you a Facebook message a few weeks back to ask how are you. No reply again.

Your birthday was on 3 Jan and I dropped you a Whatsapp message to wish you. Surprise surpise.
You replied and thanked me for my well-wishes. I did not expect that and was hence somewhat surprised.

I asked after you. A simple 2-liner message.

You read it. Whatsapp shows 2 little blue ticks when the recipient receives and reads the message.

You did not reply again.

Sometimes, there is no point pursuing what is not meant to be, especially when the other party does not reciprocate.

A 2-decade old friendship. I tried.

Maybe it is time I give up and let things go.

Feeling

Indignant

Work that I've done behind the scenes has been claimed credit by my boss and another lazy asshole in Sri Lanka. 

Like WTF? I spend time and effort and someone else takes the credit while I remain anonymous to the community.

Exasperated

Even if you want to claim credit at least make sure that the document you send out is of some standard lah! Take my work and morph it into something sub-par and then send it out to so many people. *MEGA facepalm*

Resigned 

What else can I do? 

Wet hair

不认老也不行了...

I wash my hair everyday at night. And I used to go to sleep with wet hair when I was in my 20s. It was only in the last 4-5 years that I started blow drying my hair. 

These days, if I go more than 2 days of sleeping with wet hair, I get a bad headache. 

Was busy the last few days and could only shower late in the night after settling chores and the little girl. Got too sleepy and lazy to even blow dry my hair...flopped into bed with dripping hair...

And so...today the sides of my head hurt. 

活该, 自找的...

2014 in some simple stats

1. Went a whole year with nary a single facial, manicure or pedicure done. 
2. 2014 is the first year in more than a decade that I did not exit the country a single time. *jaw drop* I did not even step foot in Batam or Bintan or Johor. 
3. This is the year I was at my heaviest at 53kg (sans baby) since more than a decade ago. 
4. 2014 marks the first time ever that I have a debt, specifically, a $1million debt. 
5. I went to the GP more than 15 times in 2014 for various ailments.
6. I spent the most on online shopping. (I did not tally my expenditure. I did not want to shock myself.)
7. I spent the most on cab rides. 

Goodbye 2014.

When 2013 was ending, I thought 2014 and I would be good friends. It turned out otherwise. We had a love-hate relationship.

2014 was a challenging year. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Many peaks and troughs. Not sure if tumultuous would be the right word to describe it. Maybe eventful would be a more apt word.

2014 was when my:

• patience was stretched
• limits were breached
• emotions were tested thoroughly 
• determination and perseverance were tried
• ego took many beatings 
• self-doubt was over-taking me

Why do I say it was a love-hate relationship with 2014? 

Because with all the above, 2014 was also the year that I experienced:

• unconditional love and support from K, family and friends
• growth, in all senses of the word
• the widening of my horizon
• realisation, understanding and some clarity 
• the love a mother has for her child

And for these I am thankful.

It's been an eventful year. Not very good, not very bad, but eventful. 

May 2015 bring greater things. And may everyone around me stay healthy, happy and blessed always.

May God bless the little girl too. That she grows up healthy, happy and strong.  May she be guai guai and listen to her parents too.

And so it is...

Life in snippets

• I'm doing better though my stomach is still in a queasy and fragile state. 
• Little baby is doing better as well. Her appetite is back, she is drinking milk like nobody's business and she seems to be pooping normal poo.
• We brought little baby to the PD at least 4 times till the nurses there are on good terms with us.
• K on the other hand was doing better but was suddenly hit by gut issues again on Sunday. I hope he gets well soon enough. 
• I lost 2kg over the last 5 days or so. 

• There are just some work matters that I can't seem to get started on. They are important but...I have no affinity with them...bah.
• I need to wake the gardening side of me up again. It's been dormant for very long..all but one of my terrariums have withered away at my inlaws place, including one gorgeous one I did earlier this year...:(
• I should get started on the herb growing kit K got for me too...:)  

• The pile of clothes that need ironing is growing organically on a corner of our sofa.
• Little baby has been drooling and licking or sucking on her fingers and smearing them all over the balcony doors of most of the rooms...I've resigned to this fact and have stopped cleaning the doors that much now....hence, the ugly glass doors with finger prints and palm prints and lip prints and tongue smears....

Shitty (literally)

And so I spent Xmas night running to the toilet 6-7 times in 3 hours, and counting. Stomach feels a mess too. 

A trip to the doctor's tomorrow is a must.

In the meantime, I shall try to sleep. 

Sigh...

Queasy and lethargic

How I've been feeling since 2 days ago. Hope my stomach gets well soon. 

*pant*

It's been a somewhat rough and tough past 1.5 weeks.

- K came down with a bad bout of stomach flu and was purging from the top and bottom. 

- Not sure who spread to whom but N had diarrhoea too. She is still having it actually. Sigh, quite worrying 

- I had the runs too. And these 2 days my stomach has been feeling extremely queasy. I've not been eating much too. 

- Had to rush out various pieces of work. There's been many little little things to do and settle. I've had to list them down in my to do list lest they fall through the cracks somewhere. 

- It was a mad rush to settle Xmas presents and wrap them up 

香香

Just started using the Xmas gift I got for myself. :) quite fragrant. 

diet?

I've put on almost 2 kg in around 5 months.

Despite doing more household chores.

But I think the main culprint is my food intake.

After we shifted to our own place, we've on and off been experimenting with food and cooking our own meals. And for a period of time we were ordering in our meals as well...And also on and off for several weekends, we've had guests coming over as well, which meant more ordering in of meals.....

Xmas time now, hard to resist the good food that is around.

Maybe soon though it will be time for a diet....?

Hmm.

Herb garden

K got this for me last Friday when he popped by NTUC Finest. (Love this man!) 

I have yet to get it started but once I do, I hope the seeds germinate properly! 

Zombie

It was a tough night with me spending almost 1h30mins from 4am to 530am trying to get her to go back to sleep after she woke....and then finally ending up on the sofa with her sleeping on top of me. (I was desperate.)

In any case, I am a zombie today. Totally unproductive. Been drafting a memo since morning. I should have finished it before lunch time and it is now already 3pm.

3 more hours to go before end of the workday. An hour of bus ride and then another 3 more hours of mom duties. Good luck to me.

jiayou....

Oh the horror

When you discover that instead of writing "put my neck on the line"....

I wrote "put my head on the line" in the email.....which had already been sent out.....

Bah.....Boo....

It was supposed to be a strongly worded email.

That has now turned into a mini farce.

Parents

Spoke to my mum earlier this afternoon.

My parents are getting old. In the past week, Dad went for 2 check-ups, one for his eyes and the other for his heart. Both didn't go as well as we'd expected.

He has slight cataracts but the doctor said this was not much of an issue. His left eye is now showing early signs of glaucoma and he needs to be put on medication. Eye drops twice a day. My grandmother had the same issue and the doctor said it might be due to family history. (Now I'm worried for myself, sigh.)

And Dad's old heart condition is showing signs of coming back. He had gone for an operation back in 2009 (or was it 2010). It was an operation that scared us out of our wits because his lungs collapsed during that procedure. As a result for several weeks or maybe a month of two after that he had to be hooked up to a breathing machine while he was convalescing at home.

The reading's 8% now. As in the condition is back by 8% and Dad has to be put back on his heart medication again.

I hope he is feeling ok. I hope he won't get too affected by these 2 pieces of news.

I know I felt worried and bad when I heard about it.

Mum doesn't want me to broach the topic with Dad for fear of making him depressed. So I can only let off my own worries and concerns here.

I'll need to call Adrian later.

Going forward, maybe we might need to help out in their marketing and household chores too...or maybe hire a helper for them....Remains to be seen but I'm sure the day will eventually come....

我们的父母亲都老了...

*tearing*

Singapura

I spent some time reading about the history of Singapore this morning. Not the usual history we know of like how Sir Stamford Raffles came by in 1819 and the Japanese Occupation, etc.

But the history of Singapore right from the beginning in 1299 when Sang Nila Utama first established his presence on the island and then built his city up.

Singapore, or rather Singapura, once had 5 kings and was a part of Melaka. It was also a strong political and trading outpost in the 14th century.

Very interesting read.
Too much to share here. The following URL captures all of it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_of_Singapura

We're reaching year end already...

It's almost mid December 2014 already. How time flies. We've reached year end.
And year end always brings a tinge of nostalgia and reminiscence in the air. 

For a long long time I did not set resolutions for the year ahead but I did jot down goals and areas of focus I thought I should strive towards. I did not write down any for this year as well but had some idea of it at the back of my mind, including (i) taking care of Little Baby well, (ii) managing well my relationships with K, family, friends, (iii) re-adjusting back to work well and (iv) managing my own health well.

I can't say I did everything super duper. I tried. Sometimes I try hard, sometimes I think I didn't try hard enough. Whatever it is, on the whole, I think I still did okay.

2014 stands out for me. It is probably one of the years that would stick out significantly in my memory when I take a look back next time.

It was a year with more ups and downs than usual. (I know I said the same thing at the end of 2013 lol...) And it was also a year where life-changing events occurred and where my comfort zone was breached and where I had to learn new things and venture abit more out of my safe zone.

1. Little Baby
Of course the little girl would feature prominently. She's brought K & I so much happiness and love. Sometimes I hug her and smother her with so much kisses that she swats my face away or tries to squirm away lol. Sometimes I look at her and my heart fills with so much love that I didn't think it was possible to feel that way. And of course, in balance, she's brought us a certain measure of frustration too, especially when she got older and started to have a mind of her own. Both K & I are walking zombies too. While we might still have some residual differences here and there with K's parents when it comes to looking after her, I'm glad that things are way more stable and peaceful compared to when she was just born.

2. Our Own Home
K & I officially got our own place in January this year. We signed the deed, and got our home loan all within a few weeks. It was pretty overwhelming for me. I dislike having to deal with financial figures, and all the legalistic proceedings. The process of getting our home included all of that and more so yeah, I was quite overwhelmed haha.

We shifted in officially on 31 July 2014 as a family of 3, though K slept over for a night on 25 July, which was meant as a symbolic gesture that we shifted in before the Lunar 7th month. We took some time to settle down, what with unpacking and taking care of the little girl and cleaning up the place properly. Our routines changed again but I'm glad to say that things are more or less settled down by now. It's just that some of our things (or at least mine) are still in boxes...and some are still over at my inlaws' place.

One thing I realised. I had to lower my standards and learn to close one eye when it came to the level of cleanliness and tidiness of the home. There's only that much we could do while concurrently juggling work and the little girl. I admit I pressured myself too much in the initial few months and well...stressed myself out quite abit.

3. Granny
Granny left us to be with the Lord on 11 April 2014. That was the first time I had ever seen my Dad cry. Till now, I can't go without tearing up a little whenever I think of her (which can be quite often sometimes). They say time heals. Yes, I'll move on, and I'll learn to manage but I guess I won't forget...

4.Work
Work was manageable when I went back to it after almost 5 months of maternity leave. It was the transition and the rush back from work to go home and look after the little girl that got to me. What can I say? Many others have done it before me and I can't complain too much. Just bite the bullet and move on. I can only blame myself that I have a sheltered ass and led too comfortable a life before little baby came along.

The boss was hostile to me for a period of time in April when I told him I would not be travelling for work for at least a year due to little baby being well....still little. He flared up. He gave me the cold shoulder. At the times he had to speak to me, he did so in a gruff manner and with brows furrowed so deeply they joined together in the centre. I felt awful but I kept going. What choice did I have? It was little baby vs the boss. Of course I had to choose little baby. He's a father of two himself, he should understand. Things eventually went back to normal slowly after he simmered down and after I worked hard at my work items. By end May or mid June, he went back to how he was last time when he was on good terms with me.

The Journey: Tumultuous Times

It's been a long while since a Channel 8 drama touched my heart in such a way.

The Journey: Tumultuous Times is currently showing on Channel 8 at the 9pm slot. While I can't watch it real time on TV, I watch the catch-up video on XINMSN while I am on the bus to work the next morning.

The show is set in the 1940s through to the 1950s, in Malaya and Singapore.This happens to be a period of time that I am very interested in, maybe because I'd heard so much about this period of time from my late grandmother and sometimes from my father when I was a young girl. I remember the "Price of Peace" was one of the epic dramas produced by the then TCS and everyone was riveted by the show. My grandmother kept cursing at the Japanese and cried on several occasions while watching the show because she reminded of the hardship she had to endure during those years. But still, she watched every episode religiously. It was during that time too that she shared many stories with me about the Japanese and life during the war and just after.

Maybe that's one reason why I am loving Tumultuous Times so much. Because it is of an era I am interested in and the show reminds me of my grandmother and those days when we watched "Price of Peace" together.

I am so loving the sets, the scenes, the props and the interactions between the actors in this show. Speaking of actors, I think Mediacorp scored big on finding Carrie Wong. She is a true gem and a talent with a natural flair for acting. In her first show she was already put alongside Christopher Lee and Rui En and she did good. Now in only her second show, she's paired with Shaun Chen and Jeanette Aw, veterans in their own right, and she has performed well. Very meaty roles for a relatively unknown newbie. I like her. She's only 20 but seems like a seasoned actor already. She'll go far.

And yes, Shaun Chen. This show affirms my liking for him as an actor. He's proven to critics that he can do both good and baddie roles, he can do drama, he can do action and he has some comedic flair as well. He's come a long way from being known as "Michelle Chia's boyfriend" then to "Michelle Chia's husband" and now finally people know him by his own name.

Romeo Tan. The name is cheesy yes, and he is a newbie who has his own critics and fans alike. I read online reviews of the show and people don't seem to like him. Why? I think he's not too bad. He plays a baddie in the show, disguised as a decent guy from the upper class. Given the fact that people dislike his character in the show and him as a result (an unfortunate consequence I might add), I think he has done well already and achieved his acting objective of being the baddie. I say he's succeeded!

Looking forward to the rest of the show..!

Miss Clumsy

As usual, I had no idea how I got the cut. :(

Having a good start

I read once in Malcolm Gladwell's book (can't remember which one) that having a priviledged childhood is a precursor to having a great start in life and hence the probability of doing well in adulthood is all the more greater. 

Someone from some of my marketing classes is now the franchise owner of Sticky Singapore, and in recent years has also opened a Korean restaurant and now a restaurant bar in Tan Quee LAN Street. Kudos to her and her husband! While I attended her wedding 7 years ago, we've not really kept in touch since...except for one short chat in 2008. Lol to think she used to skip tutorials and lectures and sometimes would borrow my notes to copy. She was a master at "smoking" and could talk her way out of anything. Yep she's from a well-to-do family. 

One guy from our Marketing cohort is the founder of Reebonz. Yep, he's from quite a rich family. 

Another friend from my hostel days is the owner of a restaurant cafe in Yong Siak Street. And yep, she's from a well-to-do family as well. 

Of course, I don't dismiss the fact that people from less well-to-do families can do just as well. 

Thanksgiving

We should give thanks always I suppose.

Right now, I am most thankful for God protecting Little Baby and keeping her safe, despite the careless (and dangerous) mistakes that I've made thus far...

Add Oil

Last few days wasn't that good. Let's hope this week will be better.
Jiayou...

Buy buy buy!

This is what happens when you haven't shopped properly in a mall for over a year. Maybe even 1.5years. 

You end up spending $1,000 in 4.5 hours. 

Macham ”被放出来” haha...

I'm just glad I met all my objectives of this shopping trip (except one which I forgot about).

Amongst the stuff I got:

- 14mths supply of contact lenses

- 2 dresses

- 4 pairs of casual footwear

- 1 pair of shoes for work

- 4 tops for work

- A pair of shoes for Little Baby 

- Some educational stuff for Little Baby

- Some clothes and other knick knacks for Little Baby

- Some Xmas presents for Adrian, relatives and friends 

Before heading out I told myself, don't think too much, just buy to your heart's content. It's something I don't usually do so today was out of the ordinary haha. 

I set myself a time limit because I wanted to go home and rest before having to go pick Little Baby up from my inlaws' place. 

If I had the strength (I was carrying loads of shopping bags!) and more time, I think I would have easily spent another 200 more...

Ok that's it. Enough shopping to last me for the next 10mths lol. 

And oh ya I forgot to buy a water bottle for her...it was on my list but I missed it out....

Parenting

Different parents have different approaches to parenting. This I know. I just find some parenting styles odd and well...maybe a little disturbing.

I recently had some interaction with a lady who has 2 sons, aged 3 and 1.5. During our interaction, she proudly proclaimed to me: "Baby number 2 is 1.5yrs old already, I have never showered him before. The maid does that. I don't know how much milk he takes and at what intervals. The maid settles those. The same went for number one. Well, my main (and only) responsibility is to give birth, that's all." 

"我只是负责生孩子而已。" Those were the exact words she said. 

There was a previous situation end of last year. K and I were out with this lady and her husband at a restaurant when their number 2 needed a diaper change. The husband went to settle it and she proclaimed "oh, I don't change diapers one!"

Like what? As a mum, I cannot fathom how uninvolved this lady is in the caring of her children and their upbringing. 

holding one's ground

Treat me nicely and I will treat you nicely. Just came out from a meeting.

The most senior woman in the meeting was aggressive/overly assertive towards me at certain points in time. I had to raise my voice as well as my own assertiveness slightly to get my points across to her. Her two staff were making eyes at each other and enjoying the exchange between herself and me. (It was me alone with the three of them.) I kept my smile on though at certain points in time I think I did not fare too well and had furrowed brows instead.

Oh well. Learning to hold my own ground. Did well earlier on but I think I can still do better.

Proud mama

For posterity, I need to blog this!

Little Baby took her first steps on 19 November 2014! At the age of 13 months 1 week and 3 days. :) 

The Little Sponge of a Baby

She is a sponge soaking up bits and pieces of info and knowledge. And somehow in the last few weeks something in her brain must have clicked into place and she's been on a roll since. Her vocabulary has increased a lot and our communications with her are more two-way now.

While she is still developing herself linguistically and can only babble most of the time (though she can say dada, baba , mama and nana), she understands quite a lot these days. A lot to me at least. She understands:

1. Where is [insert noun]? 

Nouns she knows are Daddy, Mummy (or dada and mama), gong gong, po po, ye ye, nai nai, doggy (her soft toy), doll doll (soft toy), rong rong (soft toy again), Winnie the Pooh (yes, soft toy too), bolster, tissue, water, home, car, dog, cat etc. When you ask her a "where is" question, she'll make the hand gesture for it too (hand at chest level then turn palm up with fingers spread apart). And when she spots the item or person you are asking about, she will point to it. When I stand at my lift lobby these days and ask her "where is home?", she can point in the general direction of our home. 

2. Throw the [insert item]

Not a good thing for her to understand though haha

3. Stand up/sit down 

When we are sitting down or lying down and she wants to be carried, I'll tell her to "stand up first" then mummy will "bao bao" you and she will get herself into a standing position ready to be carried lol. 

4. Blow kiss/flying kiss

5. Wave bye bye / Say hello / Say hi 

She will wave to the person or object when we say these phrases. She does this on her accord too. 

6. Press 

Many kids toys have buttons to press and all, if not most, of them either trigger a song or light up something. For some reason she understands the word "press". Maybe she picked it up in school. 

7. Kiss [insert name of someone]

I taught her this hehe and I want to claim credit. I think she's gotten sick of me asking her to kiss me that she is ignoring me now when I ask her to do it...:( 

8. Hold [object]

9. And other things....which I can't recall at this point in time....

Needless to say everytime she demonstrates an understanding of a word, instruction or concept, we get all surprised, delighted and excited at the same time haha. 

Here's to more surprises for us and to more learning for her! 

pressies for myself?

Bought myself some body lotion for myself for Xmas. I'm a little greedy.
I'm thinking of a pair of sneakers as well and maybe a black watch for myself if I can find the time to buy them....

Granny

In a flash, it's been 7 months 6 days since she left us.

I think of her everytime I sing songs and nursery rhymes to Little Baby, mainly because my earliest memory of Granny was of her singing songs to me while lying with me on our sofa in our old home in Bedok. I was around 3 or 4.

This is the first Christmas without her.

Thankful for

Been awhile since I last had a "thankful for" post. Here's one...

• My inlaws. They pick Little Baby up every day from Monday to Friday to bring her to school and then fetch her from school at the end of the day. And then they look after her for around 2hours before I manage to rush back from work to their place. They give her her daily intake of fruits as well...While sending Little Baby to school, along the way, they also drop K and I at each of our bus-stops. Without their "transport" K and I would have to walk pretty far out to our stops.
• My parents. For always being there. For always listening (Well, at least my Mum does haha. My Dad loses patience and gets distracted after awhile.) For always thinking about my brother and I and our families. Special shoutout to my mum: for always filling our tummies with our favourite foods.
• K. For always being there. And if he somehow can't, he will make up for it in his own ways. For always listening. For cooking lovely meals (with lovely food presentations to boot haha). For taking care of the harder menial chores at home. For working hard for our family. For just...being him....

Xmas is coming!

We've not given each other Xmas presents for a long time. But sweet K got me this for an advanced Xmas present this year. He must have seen the pathetic state of my current Creative earphones.

Never had such a good quality piece of audio equipment before. Kinda feel like I'm not fit for it lol. 

Thank you sayang...:)

 

sigh

累。想哭。纳闷。无奈。疲倦。

Souvenir from Columbia

I didn't buy anything for myself when I was in Cartagena, Columbia back in 2012. This time round, when Adrian went to Bogota, he got me this bag. My first reaction was "Wah so bright!" 

Nevertheless I was touched he bought it for me. 

Staycation

We had a mini staycation. A 2D1Nstay at Swissotel the Stamford. Friday till Saturday.

We brought the girl out to Suntec and Marina Square. I hope the sights and sounds were not too overwhelming for her. She managed to have her naps as usual. We kept to her daily schedule as closely as possible to minimise any disruptions. She slept on the king-sized bed, her first time haha.

She had her first bath in a bath tub! She didn't seem too impressed though and was more curious about the tap spewing water out than the huge bath tub itself.

And as usual we rushed through all our meals because she got fidgety after too long in a high-chair.
Still, I think the food at Podi and it's sister restaurant Cedele were good...Pity we had to rush through our food.

The staycation turned out more tiring than we expected though, especially with the little girl waking up and throwing a hissy fit at 1am till 2am on Friday night...um...Saturday morning to be exact.
Maybe it was a new environment, a new cot (we used the hotel's baby cot) or a bad dream or night terror?....

She was also cranky at lunch time on Saturday too and we had to wheel her around in her stroller to get her to open her mouth and feed.

Other than these she was pretty much a good girl. Cooing, smiling and playing and generally being awed by the lights and sights at the various malls.

Nadya at 13 months

And so Little Baby turned 13 months yesterday. What's her stats now?

Weight: 9.2kg (>50th percentile, I think she's maybe around the 60th percentile)

Length: 74cm (around 50th percentile)

Teeth: 1.5 lower front incisors (an upper incisor is just below the gum surface and about to break through already)

Mongoloid marks: Status quo. The one on her right shoulder is faint but still visible.

Motor Skills

• Her aiming has improved and whatever finger food I give her she can put it into her mouth directly. Previously she would sometimes try to feed her cheek instead.
• She's still cruising around but is learning to be more steady on her two feet without any support. When I encourage her to take the first step forward, she is excited and wants to try but doesn't dare. And she usually just ends up leaning her whole body forward and crashing into my arms haha.
• She zips around pretty quickly on the floor now while leopard-crawling, usually in gear 4 or so. Gets excited when she thinks we're chasing her and then goes into gear 5 with full throttle. 
• She can point.

Cognitive/Emotional Development

• She has learned to point and can ask for things now.
• She has learned to shake her head and will do so if she does not want whatever you are offering her. (Trying to teach her to nod her head...)
• Throws a hissy fit when you take something away from her or when you don't give her what she wants.
• Stil loves music and sways to it or bounces on her bottom when she hears her fav tune. She knows the action to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star now and will do it when she hears the song when we sing or play it on a toy.

Communication/Social Skills 

• She is still waving to everyone, even the neighbour opposite our balcony.
• She understands when we say "no" but no longer stops what she is doing. Seems like she is challenging and testing the boundaries. Sometimes when we insist on stopping whatever she is doing, she throws a mini tantrum by either crying or arching her back and flinging her head backwards (which can be dangerous if she's on the hard floor).
• She now understands many words and instructions including pointing out a cat in a particular book when I ask "Where's the cat?". She points to her ears when asked "Where are your ears?". 
• She understands "Kiss Mummy"! :) I received my first kiss of sorts from her on 5 Nov 2014. :) I was really excited when she responded that night.
• She is starting to recognise Gong Gong and Po Po (my parents) and is willing to sit and play with them more easily. (We go over to their place each Saturday evening)

Food

• Introduced mee sua and baby pasta to her. The baby pasta needs to be cooked till quite soft and mushy. I made the mistake of not cooking it till very soft on one occasion and had a nightmare feeding her at a mall that day. She started spitting out every mouthful I gave her. Big mess.
• Other new foods that she's tried in the last month include:
• more egg (ok not new but...oh well..)
• buttered rice (just some small nibbles)
• barramundi fish
• chye sim
• spinach 
• cabbage

Aiyoh

My love-hate relationship with cabs.

When I desperately need one, they are nowhere to be found. None around me and can't get through the booking hotlines.  

When I made a booking and am standing around waiting for it to arrive, a whole slew of at least 3-4 available cabs hang around in front of me. Bah...

Breathe

I saw this on a friend's Facebook and thought it was meaningful.
How often have we been in such situations?

"Breathe. You're going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you've been in this place before. You've been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you've survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can't break you. They're painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you'll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass." 

— Daniell Koepke

My loves!

I ordered online and paid for them yesterday. They arrived in the mail today! Super fast!

I've been using Nalgene bottles for as long as I can remember. Since my ducktours days I think, which is at least 10 years or more. 

Loving these purchases. Especially the red bottle :) 

Belated birthday gift

A dear friend from another division attended a terrarium-making workshop just to make me one for my birthday. She knows I like them. While the gift came late, I was very touched, because she's one who is totally clueless about such things. 

Thank you KH!

*ROAR*

It's my issue. It was my update to the boss.

And he escalated the updates to the top bosses for their information but he did not cc me, instead he cc-ed the other two team members (granted, they are of a higher grade than me) when they had nothing to do with it. Nor did they do anything at all. And they get exposure just like that?

I wrote the update email and provided all information and I don't get any exposure at all?

What the #$#@%$#%

大家都不是十六岁了

The older we get, the more responsibilities, challenges and 烦恼 we seem to have. Is this part of growing older?

Just had lunch with TH today...it was an almost 2-hour session of talking and listening. A good session.

I hope he resolves his issues in time to come. They are a little tricky and would take time to settle. I wish for the remainder of this year and 2015 to be smoother for him...and for Diana as well. May their wedding preparations go well too.

He has gotten more white hairs recently. I've gotten more wrinkles. Signs.
That we are all no longer exuberant and carefree 16 year-olds. 

Hard to imagine we used to wear T-shirt and berms and run around on Pasir Ris beach.

Om nom nom

K whipped up this 爱心晚餐 last night. Grilled salmon with salad greens and zaru soba by the sides. 

Thank you baby, really appreciate it!

It is back

I have a recurring dream. Maybe not a recurring dream but a recurring theme in some of my dreams.

From time to time I dream that I am in a school and I am lost. Either I am trying to find a particular room or I am simply trying to make my way out of school to go home. There are usually a lot of stairways and corridors and  passageways. Sometimes there are other students or friends around, sometimes it is just myself. It is always not a school that I have been to nor a school that I recognise. But it is always a tertiary education school with lecture halls and different wings. 

I had two of such dreams again over the last few nights. I don't remember much now but in one of the dreams, I was with a girl whom I've not met for almost 20 years, an ex-classmate from sec sch. Xiumin. 

Very strange to have her in my dream.

Anyway, the same thing happened in this dream. I was trying to find a particular lecture hall. She was with me for awhile but eventually she "abandoned" me when she found her own lecture room. I continued my roaming around at an increasingly frenzied pace.

I do not remember what happened in the end. But I do remember the walking around and the tense feeling of being lost and rushing for something.

New addition to the kitchen

Eric and Des got us this for our home. 

Always thought of getting one but always also felt that it was one of those gadgets where you would use it once or twice and then leave it aside.

Anyway now we have one! 

That Offer

Years ago, when I graduated from university, my uncle from my mother's side called me up and asked me to join his company. He was then the Asia MD of a big corporate reinsurance brokerage firm in Singapore. He was a powerful

man, still is. 

He had called up my brother too when he graduated 5 years earlier than me. My brother rejected his kind offering, as did I, when my turn came. I knew my uncle was disappointed in us. My mum never failed to remind us of this. Actually, she still does so on occassion.

My uncle had always wanted someone from the family to join his company and grow from there. My brother and I were the only graduates close to him on his side of the family and he had pinned high hopes on us. 

I was sorry to disappoint him but at the time, I did not want to join a company through such means. Maybe I was naive, but I did not want to be viewed or treated differently by colleagues if they knew I was the bosses' niece. And also, I was rather scared to join a big MNC for my first job. Call me stupid. I know of many others who would clamour to be served up a job on a silver platter. 

An MNC for a first job would pave the way for many other good jobs to come. If I had accepted the job then, my CV would probably look vastly different now. And I would probably not end up being a public servant writing policy papers.

Anyway, I felt he was angry with me after that. For several years I kept feeling like as if he did not bother about me too much. It's gotten better in recent years and I hope our relationship improves more. 

Sometimes I think to myself: 

What if I had accepted that job 12 years ago? What if? 

If you were to ask me now what my answer would be, it might be a "maybe" instead of a definitive "no". 

Birthday cooking

I spent my birthday on Friday at home. The entire morning was spent cooking. Making her vegetable purees, and cooking my own stuff. Chicken wings and celery/carrot/egg/cabbage nutrient packed soup!

October...

October has turned out to be a challenging month. Even though both Little Baby's and my birthdays fall within this month.....

She was sick in the first 2 weekends. K & I were down in the 3rd weekend.
(We didn't even celebrate my birthday. No mood nor appetite nor chance to do so. But at least we still managed to squeeze in a dim sum meal at Canton Paradise while out running errands on Saturday.)

And now her school's infant care has got 2 cases of HFMD. I'm not sending her to school for a week till the school gets the all clear...so that means taking leave here and there again.

Need to send her for her vaccination next Monday too. She usually gets a reaction after that...I forsee myself taking more leave again.

Doesn't help that the lull is over and work has come in quite abit again this week.

Bah...bite the bullet. I hope the weeks going forward will be better!

Ganbatte!

This morning

As I was entering the lift this morning to go up to my office, a lady stepped out of it. Her arms were folded, she was holding a cup of coffee and she was crying. She walked briskly away.

Whatever had upset her, I hope it has been resolved.

And I hope that lady is feeling better by now.

Smile, be nice.
You don't know what suffering others might be going through in their hearts and minds.

bad throat

The throat is still hurting and strangely, it does not hurt that much when I swallow my own saliva. But it does when I drink water...so strange. When I drink water, I can feel like as if there are two cuts on the inside of my throat, one on each side. These 2 areas smart when the water touches them. Just glad that the throat doesn't hurt when I eat :)

More honey tonight I guess....

The Little Sleeping Beauty

Little Baby had only slept for 30minutes late yesterday morning at 11-plus when she woke up crying and screaming. Maybe a bad dream had disrupted her sleep, maybe a car downstairs has honked, I don't know.

I picked her up from her cot, soothed her and she fell asleep again in my arms, with her head on my chest.

I sat down on our living room couch, arranged a pillow behind my lower back for support and sat there holding the sleeping her.

She stirred from time to time, flipping her head from left to right or shifting her head a little in her sleep. And all the time she was sleeping while lying on me. Her head was either on my chest, or on my belly.

Mummy must be a nice pillow, for she continued sleeping....for the next 3 hours. (Thank God I had a quick lunch before this!)

There was a point in time when her cheeks looked so chubby and squashed against my chest that she resembled a hamster. And another point in time when she heaved a contented baby sigh. (Oh what a lovely sound that was!) And another point in time when she held on tightly to my arm instead of holding onto her bolster (which she was initially holding). And another point in time when the fingers of one of her hands held onto my index finger tightly.And another point in time when she woke briefly and opened her eyes, surveyed her surroundings, discovered that she was sleeping on me and then decided to continue sleeping somemore.

I'll treasure these times dearly and keep these memories with me forever.
For I can only experience these now when she's at this age when this is still possible.....

Update

And so...the slight fever ain't that slight anymore. Eyes are burning a little in their sockets, my thighs are aching a little and my neck is aching alot. The throat's not getting better, even eating watermelon is uncomfortable. 

Bah. :( 

My mum cooked assam buah kelo today...I couldn't take much of it. 

累了，病了

Slight fever, bad sore throat. 

Bah. 

Happy 34th!

There I lasted till midnight. :) 

Happy birthday to me!!

Here's wishing for myself all lovely things and good health and happiness always. 

Nadya at 1 yrs old

Little Baby turned a year old a few days ago on 9 October. Let's see, what are her stats?

Weight: 8.8kg (50% percentile, she lost about 200gms or so when she fell sick over the weekend just past)

Length: 73cm (50% percentile)

Teeth: only 1 lower front incisor. (actually it's more like 1/4 of the tooth that has grown out...., she's slower in this aspect....)

Mongoloid marks: The ones on her lower hip have almost faded to nothing. The one on her right shoulder is faint but still visible. It makes her look as if she has a big bruise there.

Motor Skills

• Her pincer grasp is improving by leaps and bounds. She can feed herself small pieces of bread by picking them off the palm of my hand. She needs improvement though on aiming for and putting the bread into her mouth haha.
• She has pulled herself up to a standing position from when she was 10 months old. She is cruising with more confidence these days and has occasionally been trying to climb up the sofa. She can stand unsupported for 2-3 seconds but on her own terms, i.e. when she choose to let go of any support.There was once she stood on her own for almost 7-8 seconds before crashing down on her bum with aplomp. I'm expecting her to walk in the next month or two.
• She still crawls around on her tummy most of the time and helps us "wipe the floor". Downside to this is that her rompers are getting quite worn out and some look pretty raggedy. :( 

Cognitive/Emotional Development

• She gets anxious easily and has started throwing some tantrums when we remove something she is holding onto.
• You can definitely see a twinkle in her eye when she decides to challenge the status quo and you can sometimes see a determined clenched jaw with furrowed brows when she wants to get her way.
• There are signs of a stubborn streak in her...(oh no!)
• She loves music and will sway to it. She does it sometimes even when I sing to her.
  

Communication/Social Skills 

• She waves to just about everyone and understands when we ask her to wave.She waves when we say Hi or Goodbye too. When we bring her out in the stroller, she waves at passers-by. Even the burliest of pot-bellied uncles have gone all mushy when she does that and made baby goo-goo-ga-ga sounds at her.
• She understands when we say "no" and stops whatever she is doing most of the time.
• She says "Dada" when she sees K and looks around for him when I ask "Where's Daddy?".
• She understands when I ask her to "pat pat" something. She pats K when I say "pat pat Daddy" and pats me when I say "pat pat Mummy". 
• She has her preference for certain people and certain teachers in her school. She does refuse to be carried by people unfamiliar to her.
• She is making more and more noises these days.

Food

• She is following a fixed meal schedule since a month ago and I think it is doing her good. She takes breakfast, lunch and dinner, with milk in the afternoon between lunch and dinner and milk before bedtime. 
• She is taking porridge for lunch everyday now, even at the infant care centre. I will start introducing mee sua and baby pasta to her soon. 
• New foods that she's taken in the last month include:
• broccoli (she rejected it on its own but I'm sneaking it into her porridge these days and she seems ok with it)
• cauliflower (she loves this)
• blueberries
• kiwi
• grapes
• barley
• cheese
• egg (only some nibbles of a hard boiled egg)
• cake (just a small nibble of her own birthday cake!)
  

Others

• She loves soft toys or anything soft and cuddable. She will grab the item, bend over and then smother her face in it lol.
• She enjoys playing peekaboo with the curtains in her room.
• She's a drool machine. Anyone needing drool lubricant can come find me.
  

Mother's Guilt

Feeling guilty.

1. My weak body constitution might have passed on to Little Baby. Really hope she builds up her immunity fast...and grows up stronger than I ever was.

2. I brought her out last weekend when she was recovering....and exposed her to other viruses which she unfortunately caught and fell sick again for a 2nd consecutive weekend.

Mega sigh.

Random thoughts on a Tuesday morning

Sometimes I feel as if I started the race in pole position but somewhere somehow along the race laps I faltered and ended up trailing behind others. Peaked too soon? Hurdles? Do I want to be the best? Or slightly above average? Or am I content to be average?

又要重复那些话吗？ 人比人， 气死人。 知足就好。 

============
I am turning 34 in 3 days' time. So much has happened since I turned 30 but why is it I feel like I have not really embraced my 30s with much finesse? hmm...

On a side note, I will officially be in my mid-30s already...oh my.

When I was younger and read the papers, I would come across articles of people committing petty crimes like stealing or shoplifting and the perpetrators age would be worded into the article as well. So and so, aged 32. So and so, aged 31. So and so, aged 35.

I used to think that these people were older and so much more adult.

And now, I am here, at this age too. It feels weird.

=============
On leave on my birthday. Will be glad to be spending some quiet time with me, myself and I.
I have some things I plan to do for the day. Whether or not I really end up doing them...remains to be seen. I might just choose to lie in bed and sleep and sleep.

Elated

Finally, after 19 hours, she took her first bottle of milk. Though it was only 120ml, it still lifted my spirits by a lot.

I hope her appetite continues to improve...fingers crossed! 

Little Baby jiayou!

Sunday

My Sunday started at 6am when Little Baby woke and refused to go back to sleep.

And the entire day has been about managing her crankiness and food intake. And nap times. 

She's not eating and I'm mighty worried. It's 4pm now and her last proper meal was at 830am when she had some rice and oat cereal for breakfast. Thereafter she rejected all cereal and milk. I anticipated this and did not cook her usual porridge today. She has only nibbled on pieces of bread and some grains of rice and barley as snacks because I was desperate to get something into her. 

But oh, she's strangely taking water. Maybe she knows water will help cleanse her body and minimize infections?

Little Baby is sick again :(

She's running a temperature again. Keeps waking up from her sleep. Rough first half of the night. Hope the next half will be better.

Camping in her room again, on the floor. Hope no roaches come find me, K saw one earlier tonight but did not manage to catch it. 

Late night thoughts

Sometimes, the little things you do are necessary but unseen and hence unappreciated. 

Do you stop doing it? 

No I don't think so. You do it because you feel you need to, not because you crave for others' to see what you are doing. 

That said though, it would still be nice to receive some appreciation once in awhile. 

Nadya is One :)

A year ago at this time, I was in hospital garb, lying on an operating table and freezing my butt off in an extremely cold and sterile operating theatre.

I remember I was shivering and feeling waves of panic rising up within me. Maybe that was what hyperventilating felt like. I told one of the medical officers next to me and he said it was normal, a side effect of the epidural. I remember feeling very nervous and panicky and thinking to myself "What have I gotten myself into? Fuck!" They threw layers of blankets on me. I still shivered.

And then it happened. Amidst the tangle of wires above me and the scores of hands working on me, I heard a cry. That's Little Baby! Little Baby is out! I thought. Someone said "she's out". Another said "wah she's loud". In that ridiculous state of mind I remember thinking "That rhymes..." And then a lady nurse whispered in my ear that they were going to clean her up a little and then place her on me soon.

How time flies. That wrinkly, red, sticky, squirming little thing is now a year old.

She still squirms but she's definitely not wrinkly anymore. In fact, she's filled out her skin so much she has fat folds. She is still loud though and I wonder where she got her strong lungs from.

Happy 1st Birthday Little Baby!

Mummy loves you so much.....and hopes that you will grow up strong, happy, healthy and blessed always!

I do I still do

3 years ago on this day, we said "I do" and signed on a sacred piece of paper.

I still remember that day and the room and the restaurant where we held our ROM ceremony. It was a simple affair and I remember being very happy. I was also very happy that my Granny was there to witness the entire proceeding.

Fast forward 3 years later and now we've gotten our own space and there's also Little Baby. :)

I can't ask for more.

Happy 3rd Anniversary Baby. :)

Ally and PQ come to visit!

The 2 ladies finally came by on the Sunday just past. Besides fun and laughter, they brought with them loads of other stuff! I felt it was like Xmas haha.

Our home has a Kenwood food processor and blender now! Hehe Nadya has Leap Frog DVDs from Ally and hmm, another pressie from Pq which she supposedly can ride on. This one is not opened yet so I don't know what it is exactly too haha. 

And voila! This lady here has got birthday pressies too! A recipe book from Ally and a bracelet from PQ. Loving them! Woot haha!! Some cooking to be done! :)

More pics of the day...

(See my thunder thighs and belly bulge?)

Photobombed by Daddy's hairy legs 

A bump?

Been feeling a little out of sorts. And tummy's getting bigger too. 

So I peed on a stick. 

Voila

CONFIRM!

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I am getting fat. :( 

The bump that is not a bump.

The bump that is actually a bulge. 

Maybe I should start my habit again...of weighing myself everyday. At least that keeps me on my toes...and I don't let myself go just like that. Stress snacking or stress eating too maybe? 

See? The life of a glutton who is trying to maintain her weight. Almost like a losing battle...no no cannot, I will win!!

Bah. 

Tau sar piah

I love these little round ones from Malaysia. 

When K went to Penang for a day's work, he brought back a box originally intended for his colleagues. I intercepted gleefully and claimed the box for myself. (Relax, his colleagues still had some other biscuits or pastries). I finished almost all on my own...

And when my mum went to Penang recently on a cruise, she bought me a small box too. The box was too small I think :( haha. But better than nothing of course! 

This little fella is the last piece left from my mum's box. 

See it's golden shiny goodness....Once I pop it in...I will officially run out of stock....Nooooooo.....:( 

Sunday night...

Sunday night was a rough night. Little Baby slept at 8pm and between that time till 7am the next day, she woke more than 10 times.

After the first few times she woke, I decided to sleep in her room instead. Wise decision, for it saved me the time and energy from walking to and from her room numerous times. All I had to do was jump up from my position on the floor below her cot. K was having the runs so I was on sole night duty.

I don't think I slept much that night. It might have been 4 or 5 hours in total but it was in fits and spurts here and there....30mins here, 45mins there, 1hr here, 20mins there.

On Monday morning when I was handling a tin of mushrooms, I cut myself on the sharp edge of the opened lid. Probably carelessness due to my sleep-deprived mind. :(

Need sleep

It's 3am now. I'm glad I made the decision to sleep in Little Baby's room. At least I can respond faster to her and K can get more rest.

Why did I make this decision at 1am earlier on? Because she was waking up and screaming hysterically on average every hour or less since she fell asleep at 8pm. And because K is down with diarrhoea. He looks bad. He should see the doc soon...

P/s: lying on a thin foldable mattress on the ground, feeling the floor through the mattress, and feeling a little like my granny when she slept in my room last time...

Bah

I treasure my time alone at the end of the day. After my shower, after K and Little Baby have gone to sleep and after I've done all my chores, I lie on the couch in the living room. Only the orange lights are switched on in the living room, and the only sound comes from the fan. 

Oh, the solitude. Love it.

Tonight, the plan was to clear abit of work and surf the net a little. Alas, the network is down! Argh, I couldn't do my work too...bah. 

Anti-climax.

Last night's dream

The God of Dreams (if there's any) created an amusing one for me last night. Bizarre but definitely entertaining haha. 

I dreamt that I was the ex-girlfriend of an Asian celebrity, Wu Jian Hao, or better known as Vanessa Wu. His first love aka 初恋情人.

Like what???!!!!

(For those not in the know, he's 1/4 of the previously famous F4 boy band from Taiwan and now happily married to a Singaporean socialite Arissa Cheo.) 

And so it went in the dream that we had a brief but powerful relationship and he had given me a toy as a token of our "love". It was a little blue squishy plush toy with fur so soft and fluffy it felt really good to cuddle with. And oh yes, it was a triceratops. 

Yes, a dinosaur. Totally random...lol. 

I don't remember much else of the dream already. 

I don't think my Mr K will be very happy reading this but ok lah, he's my real-life Vaness Wu! 

Anyway, they both have small eyes with single eyelids haha. Same same. :D

P/s: Little Baby's a little unwell and woke many times last night, easily 6-8 times. The dream probably came in one of my woozy "in-between-her-waking-up" periods. 

Voila

Late night preps for Little Baby's 1st birthday celebration tomorrow with both sides of the family. 

Loving the tissue paper balls. Ordered them online and I've been making them since a week plus ago whenever I get the chance to. Time to put them up...question now is where...hmm....

Recalibration

前两天心情有点烦躁。 告诉自己要调整以下， 平复一下心情， 不要让一件事或一个人破坏自己的稳定。要把精神和精力花在该花的地方。爱身边重要的人， 爱自己多一些。

Was feeling a little down the last 2 days. Telling myself that I need to let things go and recalibrate myself and my thoughts. Don't let an unpleasant incident or a particular person get me down. I should channel my energies to the right places. Love the important people in my life more, love myself more.

work relations

You can't please everybody. It is inevitable that some people won't like certain things you do or won't like you as a person.

So long as you remain true to yourself and whatever you are doing and your conscience is clear.

Just found out that The Coll has told others that I have a bad temper and has bad-mouthed me on other aspects.

Sigh. So be it. Maybe she doesn't realise that sometimes I just don't want to talk to her because she has stepped on my toes. I'm perfectly fine with others in the team. And if the majority of the team generally doesn't want to hang out with her. Then who's the one who is not doing things right?