Stomach

Saw my gastro doc yesterday again after 2 years or so. 

Told him I was doing ok for 2 years though occasionally I'd have a bout of diarrhoea or general queasiness and I'd have to eat very clean for awhile. But since beginning of Jan 2022, my acid reflux was back in almost full force, complete with slight dizziness and slight breathlessness at times, neck and back pains, bitterness in the mouth, lump in the throat feeling and difficulty swallowing, amongst other symptoms. 

He recommended another type of stronger medication, a longer-lasting acid inhibitor that is sometimes also used to treat depression. It would have its own side effects though, possible irregular heartbeat, amongst other side effects that I've forgotten. Anyway, told him I'll stick to whatever I've been doing for now. Going to see him in another 6 months then we'll see how. 

I weaned myself off Omeprazole 2 years back on my own. I should be able to get over this "stomach" slump. Slowly. Perhaps the stress I felt during the December period "broke the camel's back" and caused the acid to be produced in amounts greater than usual. 

Jiayou. I can do this. 

Down by 1.5kg. Am at 46.5kg now. 
Nabeh. Takes me months to put on a kg. And just weeks or days to lose 1.5kg, without even doing anything. 

Chicken and Egg

Realisation. Self-awareness.
Effort. Strength.
Emotions. Frustrations. 
Try. How. Must. How.

Around in circles.
Bad tummy. Stress. Bad tummy. Nervousness.
Bad stomach. Worries. Bad stomach. Anxieties.
Circles. Rut.

Get out. Struggling.
Self-management. Control.
Reminders.
Thoughts -> Feelings -> Actions -> Behaviours.

Will.
Must.
Can.
Do.

Sisters

The girls quarrelled again last night. 

Small one cried and came to me for a hug. Small one wriggled out of my hug and left the room in a huff. Big one cried when I went over to hug the big one. 

I spoke to the big one a little and then she left the room. I went to shower and heard K talking to each of them separately. 

Big one left a note on their bedroom door later on. 

"I love you. BUT I'm still sad." 

Sigh...lovey dovey one moment and the next they're going at each other. 

Conversations between a 6yr-old and an 8yr-old

At the dinner table the other day....

N to A: Meimei, you better eat your food and stop playing...*keeps pointing to Alyssa's bowl*

A to N: 你管好你自己的东西先! 不要管别人!

N: *glares*

LOL.....Alyssa learn that from her Chinese childcare teacher...:D 

Reminder to Self

Be more open and 大气, especially to someone whom you already have a small bias against. 
Had a short conversation with a staff from my team and I was irked within a short span of time. Tried to remain neutral and I hope my tone did not show any annoyance. 

Staff E: How are you Michelle after your jab?

Me: I'm ok, had borderline fever yesterday so took Panadol and had a short nap to sleep it off. 

Staff E: Oh? You took Panadol?! *sounding incredulous & surprised*

Me: Ya, why?

StaffE: Oh I didn't take it even though I had fever!

Me: ok...mm...

StaffE: I read somewhere that if you have fever after the jab, try not to take Panadol. This will allow your body to really fight and boost up your immunity after the jab. So I tried to tahan and did not take any. 

Me: I see ok...though just take note that not everything you read online is true or scientifically proven. 

StaffE: Ya, but many people said this. I also have a friend who is a nurse who did not take Panadol even though she had a fever after her jab. That's why I tried to tahan also. 

Me: ok.....

With her, it's always "many people said this" and "I read online that" or "I did my research online and..." or..."I asked around and..." or "I heard that..." or "I did my homework and reading up and...". 

孩子们

Thankful for Alyssa's passionate co-form teacher, who is also her Chinese teacher. 

She had no qualms sharing her mobile number with parents and created a WA group chat with all the parents. Since Day 1, she has been sending very regular updates and photos of the kids during recess, and sometimes videos of the kids during class or snack break time. She updates parents on homework to be done and/or books to bring as well. 

Thanks to her, I know firsthand what Alyssa bought during recess haha. :)

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I'm proud of Alyssa. She bought her first drink on the 2nd day of school! A bottle of mango juice. 

And on her 3rd day of school, she bought a plate of fried noodles. :) She wanted to buy it on Day 2 but said she couldn't find the "Stall 5: Fried Noodles" that Nadya had told her about lol. So I spent some time at night describing to her where and how to find it. And she did it on Day 3!

Our Peanut 长大了！

She just hasn't discovered the bookshop.......Yet. lol.

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In the meantime, I'm proud of Nadya too. Getting more independent. She's more or less been packing her bag by herself since start of P2 and has been settling her homework at the student care centre dilligently. 

Handling her "start of school year" stuff and helping her settle down into her new P3 life has been alot easier compared to past years. 

The only thing is...she's still sticking to buying fried noodles during recess hahaha. Tried encouraging her to buy char siew rice/noodles to no avail...I can tell she does want to try it out but is still sticking to fried noodles/jelly/drinks/burger maybe because of the familiarity and because she is apprehensive of the wanton/char siew noodle stall auntie lol. In time to come maybe....Jiayou Nadya!

Tummy

I caved. 

I took Omeprazole on a regular basis to control my stomach acid/gastric issues for a year from Feb/Mar 2019 till Mar 2020. I started it on a daily basis, then cut down to once every 2 days, then once every 3 days before I finally cut it out. I didn't take a single pill since Mar 2020. 

But this round, the acidity has gotten worse over a period of 1.5weeks. Even my breath in the morning smells horrible. The tightness in the chest and "lump in the throat" feeling makes me quite uncomfortable as well, both physically and mentally. 

I caved and took a pill this morning in hopes it will relieve the acidity. 

Fingers crossed. 

周杰伦

不知道为什么周董的歌这几天一直在脑海里游。。

今天就让周董陪我做工吧。。。

Jay Chou playlist here we go!!....Some of the songs in the list....

• 晴天
• 一路向北
• 搁浅
• 简单爱
• 风
• 不能说的秘密
• 七里香
• 安静
• 开不了口
• 还有好多好多好多其他的精选。。。。 

想当年。。。周董，陶喆，孙燕姿，动力火车，五月天，FIR飞儿乐团，伍佰，等等都陪我度过了好多时光。。。

Cruising down memory lane today...it's a cold cold day...my nose is stuffed...

Heart Signal

那初遇的感觉
那开心，害羞，心动的感觉
那纠结，揪心，懊恼的感觉

刚看完了《心动的信号4》中文版
这次是在深圳。整体来说，这次和《心动2》有的比。

Heart Signal 1 was so-so, Heart Signal 3 was disappointing due to a cast member being cut out from all scenes because of his misdemeanours. 

Season 2 was great and this season's pretty much the same, with the same level of heart-fluttering moments and great lines that came out of the show. 

This show is probably made for suckers like me haha. 

I could definitely do without the very very very obvious product placements in the show and the blatant advertising that they made the cast members do. 

Just wondering if the Korean Heart Signal would be having a new season anytime soon....I hope so!

stomach

reflux is back, since a week or so ago. 

heartburn at times, especially while eating. tightness in chest at times. lump in the throat feeling. aching and uncomfortable throat that makes swallowing harder. and that's why i've been taking a much longer time eating these few days. and preceding symptoms were the neckaches and backaches, as well as the occasional slight lightheadedness. 

not sure what triggered it. several possibilities. the few bites of pasta with tomato sauce i had, with the homemade pasta sauce diana passed to me. the desserts i had at the start of the year. the white bread i was having the last few days. the bits of fried stuff i was having for sunday breakfast. they all seem pretty normal to me though. maybe my tummy just decided to wreak some havoc for awhile. 

the lump in the throat feeling makes me uncomfortable and the longer it is around, the more my mind starts to wander and think unnecessary thoughts. 

i guess it's porridge time again?

and i hope warm water helps too. 

i don't want to take omeprazole for a week, not when my booster shot is coming up in another 5 days.

S.O.P.

I'm not the one performing the operational duties on a daily basis. 

I wonder why I'm at times more familiar with the policies and SOPs than the 2 ladies handling these issues on a daily basis. 

Why why why?

How can I train them up better? How can I help them help themselves? How can I get them to be more independent, meticulous and up to speed on things? 

I hate to use age as a factor against them and I truly believe that despite their age, they can do it one....But after various incidents over at least a year, I'm starting to wonder if my belief in them was built on shaky ground.

I want them to do better. But have no real idea what else I can do to get them to up their game. Been mulling over this on and off for a long time....

Wishes

2022. For the year ahead, I hope to:

• Find the strength, determination and self-awareness to keep up with self-care and self-management, including building up my stamina and fitness slowly
• Learn and grow more at work, focus on areas and processes that can be improved (kaizen!), and figure out how to manage and work with my team better so they can grow further as well
• Be a more patient, understanding and organised parent
• Keep up with relationships, both with family and close friends
• Keep up with my hobbies, however varied they may be and whichever my heart brings me to at a particular point in time
• Stay grounded, positive, hopeful and find more peace!

Buzzwords

Intention. Focus. Mindfulness. Kaizen. Self-awareness.

Bienvenue 2022

As usual, 2021 went by in a jiffy. 

2021 felt more stable compared to 2020 though as we were all more or less settled into school and work-from-home routines already and I also started the year being at least 3 months into my new job role. 

While there were some frustrating and sometimes anxiety-inducing lows, there were fulfiling highs as well. 

I am thankful for the good stuff:

1. Happy to have spent time with the girls here and there. I quite enjoyed those months when we weren't allowed to visit others, as meals were at home and we could do stuff together. Though I have to be frank too and admit that there were times when I needed some peace and quiet alone time lol. 
2. Glad that my parents and in-laws are generally doing well. Old age ailments plague my parents here and there but nothing too serious and they also managed to go on at least 3 to 4 cruise trips. Glad they've also managed to keep in contact with their friends. 
3. As we settled into working from home, I'm thankful to be "colleagues" with K at home haha. At least we get to lunch together sometimes and on several occasions we settled errands and groceries together too during lunch.
4.  One long-drawn 2.5year project finally concluded! Other to-do items brough over from past years have slowly been cleared off too!
5. While managing the team brings frustration and exasperation at times, I'm still glad that some team members are very willing & able to work hard and produce good work. Thankful to have heard from an external source that I was put up for promotion by my bosses, though it was eventually rejected by the biggest lady boss who wanted more time to observe. I'm glad to be considered and also glad for it to have been put on hold. I don't hanker for and I don't need a promotion right now. Don't feel I am up to the mark yet. 
6. Managed to dabble in various hobbies from gardening to word search and sudoku puzzles. Managed to explore brush calligraphy a little and even learnt some basic Korean on my own through Coursera. Didn't manage to continue with the Korean or brush calligraphy though due to lack of time. 
7. Glad I kept up with close friends and also managed to meet up with some of them like Ally + PQ, ET, KH, SP + J, etc...

May 2022 bring an abundance of good stuff to the girls, K and I. May we stay blessed, happy and healthy always. Onwards and upwards!! Yeah!

Curtains

Every year in Jan, we go through this cycle of sending our curtains to the laundry. We have 5 sets of curtains: my room X 2 sets, girls' room, study room, and the living room.  

We usually send 4 sets for a wash first: my room X 2, study room & living room. When these are ready, one will be used as a temporary set for the girls' room while their set goes for a wash.

In the meantime, laoniang's room remains bare and naked and laoniang cannot walk half-naked out of the bathroom because the neighbours can see....Laoniang also wakes when it's dawn because the windows let light in fully and when it's mid-day, laoniang can "suntan"...In a way, I feel like I am in a greenhouse haha. 

Once in a year affair....;p

For the record

Milestone achieved.

Nadya trimmed 2 of her fingernails by herself on 29 Dec 2021. One snip got too close to the nailbed though and I took over thereafter...but still....yay! She did it! 

Tried teaching Alyssa how to do it but her fingers lacked the strength and dexterity to handle it so I let it be for now...in time to come....when she's ready. :) 

Songs from the 8yr-old

After her shower....she was somehow in a Chrismassy mood...and started singing....

"Sewer bells, sewer bells.....it's Cwismas time in the city..."

"Sewer bells, sewer bells....soon it will be Cwismas day...!!!"

She's turning out to be as lame as her pare...I mean her Dad....lol.....

Conversations with an 8yr-old

In a restaurant somewhere in Suntec City on the 1st day of 2022. 

Nadya: *grumbles* why is the food taking so long...*whines* I'm hungry....*grumbles* uggghhhh....

Us: It's only been 5 or 10mins. They need time to prepare the food. You need to be patient. 

N: Patience is not my name. 

Bratty much. -_-
When this gets too much and one fine day K loses his own patience with her, she's gonna get it good....

Of plants and....plants!

Serissa seems to have stabilised and is no longer dropping leaves. She might have had a shock during the initial days when she was first brought home and placed in the balcony. She seems pretty ok now and I intend to repot her into a bonsai pot, prune off 2 of her long branches and rewire her a little. I hope my experiment goes well...!

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The ficus ginseng is doing well. I pruned off a big branch that was spiralling out of shape and dunked it into a cup of water. That was at least a week or 1.5 weeks ago and the cutting is still doing pretty well. None of the leaves have turned yellow or dropped off! I'm amazed. 

The aerial roots are doing well and some of them have found their way and rooted themselves into the soil below. I'm happy to see this but I'm also wondering, with so many aerial roots rooting themselves in the soil, how do I actually repot the bonsai next time ah.....hmm.....

Time for more youtube videos? Lol.....

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I made a simple terrarium each for Ally & Peiqi for Xmas. I'd gotten the airplants about a week or 2 prior to assembling the terrarium and was trying to keep them alive and well haha...

They were simply made, nothing too complicated because, laoniang is not so creative and I think being minimal is still better haha. I think the last time I made them a terrarium for them was almost 10 years ago. Also for Xmas and they were fittonias in round ceramic mugs. 

But hor silly me, I forgot to take a photo this time round. :( 

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Ex-neighbours Serene & Chin swung by a couple of days ago on 23 Dec. She was complaining that whatever plant they had on the balcony of their new place seemed to shrivel up. 

I ended up giving them 2 types of my 打不死 的 plants hahhaa....Gave them around 3 to 4 aloe vera babies and another 5 to 6 byrophyllum babies. I hope the babies survive! 

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Fingers a little itchy to order some plants. But the minimum order of $100 is putting me off. I saw some really nice bonsai type of plants though...Let's see how....

K & I were at IKEA last week and I wanted to get a pot of ficus ginseng to work on again. But....the stocks at the Alexandra branch were quite dismal with no nice root formations. 

大哥 TY

Had lunch with TY yesterday. A 大哥 whom I've known since 2007 when I joined the company. I knew him for just a few months only before he was seconded out to another agency but he made effort to keep in touch with folks from our side. 2 years later he was posted back to our agency and we resumed our friendship. 

We talked about kids, work, ex-colleagues and some other random stuff. 

While we are not extremely close, I am still thankful for this brother-figure in the organisation. Someone who is quite capable and rather senior who knows the ins and outs of the place. 

He's a bull. Over the years, I find that I get along quite well with bulls, goats (or sheep?), horses, roosters, some rabbits and the occasional rat. ;p

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TY & I were at Raffles City for lunch. It seemed like many many people were on leave The place was crowded and my senses were a little overwhelmed. Throngs of people young and old were in the basement. Some just milling around, some queueing for food, others were moving around going somewhere. 

Was thankful that K dropped me off at the building.

I was jittery and had to plug my ears in with some instrumental music when I made my way to the restaurant. Been quite awhile since I felt overwhelmed in a shopping centre and I was glad I had the presence of mind to bring my earphones along. I could feel my palms sweating and my hands/fingers were so fidgety. 

I was glad we were seated against the restaurant counter in a corner, just slightly away from the main bustling area in the restaurant. 

Hang in there Ms Serissa!

I think Ms Serissa is in shock. 

From being sheltered, in aircon and under a growing light, she was moved to a shaded but partially bright area with natural wind and air, and surrounded by new "neighbours". I released part of the wire that was holding her top branches in form as well, as I wanted her to breathe a little better and have a chance to spread out more.

She shedded several leaves this morning when I to check on her. 

I hope she adjusts soon to her new home and neighbours. 

I wanted to repot her and prune her as well but I think I'll lay off and let her settle down first.