Perhaps

I like this word.

Much like I like the word "Sardonic".

"Perhaps" is word which is so versatile...it encompasses so many things....

Happiness
Hope
Sadness
Regret
Deep thought
Pondering
Forwardness
Possibilities
Submissiveness
Imagination
Permutations
Probabilities

And the list goes on....

My writing

I was told that I do write well.
But only if and when I want to. Lol...

Oh well, I guess, alot of times...it's just a matter of how much effort you want to put into something..and how much thought, passion and feelings you put into it.
It ain't apply only to writing...it applies to everything one does I guess...

But oh well back to writing.

Perhaps I lost the knack for it..Or perhaps I've been writing too many office memos or putting up too many "governmental" type of documents to the management...
So much so that my creative writing has taken a backseat...lol...

Or perhaps..I have just stemmed the freeflow of my emotions over the years.. ha...

Perhaps I have become mundane. Banal.

Haa..numerous perhaps.

Les Conversations Entre Nous

Words.

Nary but a few.

Short, simple, precise.

I am what I am. What you see is what you get.

You find it interesting how you somehow are seeing the real me now.

I think you just didn't bother seeing me in the past.

So there you have it. I am me.

Plain and simple.

Period.

The Chivalry of Animals

Amazing..truly is..

As Close to Being a Bird As I Can Be

Flying in Feb, March & April...

April's BKK trip with the sec sch gang has been confirmed! Voila...

Am hoping the end June/early July trip to France will materialise with the Frenchies...
2 weeks should set me back by what...$4-5K??

Hmm mm...pockets are running dry though...

Company owes me $2K plus at this point in time...By the time I am back in mid March, the figure will hit more than $5K I think...

*gasps*

Amy Winehouse - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

I like this version of the song by Amy Winehouse..
It's been looping on my PC for the past hour or so haha...

Jason Mraz - Nobody Likes Me/You and I Both

To continue with my recent obsession...
Pure talent...he sounded so angelic on this video..

Jiayou to me!

I feel good. I achieved something today. I did a 5km just now.
First time in my life? Woot Woot! haha..small matter to some...big matter to me...:)

Was over at ECP with PQ & TH.

Each of us ran our own ways...I was running with PQ for the first 3km till I got punctured haha...told her to go ahead and I went at my own snail's pace...

And I guess Bro Kel taught me something...
Not to stop running when you're tired but to go real slow...slow slow slow jog...

I pushed myself today. Don't know why or how...
Just ran, nothing in my mind...no thoughts, nothing...except for wondering how far I can last.. haa.
A panting turtle with a ponytail meandering her way through the park...

Adrian encouraged me to bring my running shoes on the long haul trip...asked me to run in LA...
Said it was really a very very cool experience...
Hmm mmm...we'll see yah, we'll see haha...doubt I'll do it though ;p

?? What the ??

This is getting abit too much for me.

Taking a break.

s u p p o s i t i o n s

Was supposed run with PQ at ECP after work...

Had to fly her kite..cos I worked till 815pm...

We'll try to make it tomorrow again..

=========
Was supposed to settle my minutes writing...

Had to shelve it one side for the whole day cos of unexpected issues which cropped up...

I'll try again tomorrow I guess...

=========
Was supposed to pack my bag for Manila...

Oh well I did, just a tiny little..

I'll try again tomorrow I guess...

==========
Was supposed to sit down and plan the itinerary for LA as well as the hotels...

Darn I completely forgot about it till now when I'm writing this entry..

Tomorrow again I suppose...

==========
The world is full of suppositions

The world is full of procrastinations

The world is full of tomorrows...

But why focus on the tomorrows when you can focus on the today?

Why wait when you can do it now?

Why suppose when you can say "I have", "I will", "I can"...

Jason Mraz - It's a Lovely Day

Bear with me & my fascination with him...haha..

But this is amazing..
Freestlying music..with a busker in the streets of Centre Pompidou in France again..
Pure talent...

Ah fuck, won't be able to watch his concert here in March..:(

Jason Mraz - Live High

Ok, I admit...I'm falling in love with Jason Mraz
Perhaps I've been a little slow..But oh well..:)

Those fingers of his..works magic on that guitar of his..
And his voice..just his voice alone without any accompaniement is already lovely...

This video here was an impromptu one..which makes it even the more lovely..:)
Trapesing across the streets of France..Beauborg to be exact..but not sure which state is it in though hmm mm....

Peach Blossoms

I would have expected myself to zonk out after downing half a bottle of wine during dinner just now..

On the contrary..I'm pretty awake...

Uncle Dave's 60th birthday celebratuioon... And I was made to sit at a table fyull of kids 10 years my junior. But oh well...thy're kinda entertaining in a way...

Between the 5-6 of us who were drinking..I think we cleared 3 or 4 bottles of wine...easily.

Peach Blossoms at Marina Mandarin. Food was not too bad...but relatively salty...
The kids at my table were really AKS...or Aj Siah Kias.. ha...meaning rich kids...
It was an eye0opener in a way...

I'm still awake now...But I think I should at least force myself to get some shut eye...
Else work will be a zombified process tomorrow....bleah.. ;p

Jason Mraz - Life is Wonderful

Life sucks
Yet
Life is wonderful
At the same time

What a paradox

But this song is really nice...enjoy...

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours lyrics

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate, our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

D-d-do do you, but do you, d-d-do
But do you want to come on
Scooch on over closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Come on and open up your mind and see like me
(I won't hesitate)
Open up your plans and damn you're free
(No more, no more)
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
(It cannot wait, I'm sure)

So please don't, there's no need
(There's no need to complicate)
There's no need to complicate
(Our time is short)
'Cause our time is short
(This is our fate)
This is, this is, this is our fate
I'm yours

Oh, I'm yours
Oh, I'm yours
Oh, whoa, baby you believe I'm yours
You best believe, best believe I'm yours

Jason Mraz - Life is Wonderful lyrics

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life is meaningful
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life it is...so... wonderful
It is so meaningful
It is so wonderful
It is meaningful
It is wonderful
It is meaningful
It goes full circle
Wonderful
Meaningful
Full circle
Wonderful

blading...

Blading was eventful today again haha...fell flat on the ground at least 2-3 times today haa..
In front of all the kids I was learning blading with...

Oh well fuck it!! I managed to do the toe roll today...mighty proud of it.. haha...
Though my toe roll is not a perfect one...(it goes sideways instead of straight ahead haha)

Supposed to learn T-stop soon...but I'll miss two lessons ahead...:( hmm mm...

Had a lovely time sweating and burning under the sun...Call me "sick" but I actually enjoy sweating under then sun in such circumstances... haha...

My bunions are aching again though...:(

Cover version of "I'm Yours"

Very lovely cover version of "I'm Yours"..
And she's cute!! haha...Lovely girl..

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

I just love this song..:)

Je me dit. I tell myself.

To change the way I think about things.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it doesn't.
So what? Things have happened. Fuck it. Learn from it. Then move on.

I'll try my best not to lose faith in relationships. I'll try not to be apprehensive about future relationships, if any.
I cried rivers last weekend. And then I told myself, I cannot dwell on things anymore and I'll not shed another tear over this anymore.
So far, I've done good. Very good.

It's been an emotional rollercoaster of sorts.
Hurt, disappointment, pain, confusion, frustration, loss, anger, sadness, angst.

It's been 10 years since I've spent a Vday as a singleton. Voila.
Did not realise that it's been so long. Two failed relationships, each lasting 5 years.

Yet another closed chapter in my life.

I'll let the book sit there for awhile. I'm too tired to flip to the next page at the moment.
Or maybe deep down I'm just afraid of a blank page, or another uncompleted novel.
Hmm.

Le Frenchies

It was a lovely night yesterday...with the Frenchies!

5 of us: Cher, Kyne, Yang Ching, Tung Ling & myself...
Drinking, laughing, squabbling, gorging...

A very interesting mix of people...:)
With the youngest being only 20 and the oldest being around 45...

You would have thought that we would be conversing in French at least a little...
Oh well, I think we did. Perhaps for like 1% of the whole night hahha....

We were at Oosters in Suntec.
Their mussels in white wine seem to have lost its kick. Either that or its chefs is really screwed up these days...The soup was disappointing...totally unlike the other time when I went with Geraldine & Aaron...

The rest all went separate ways after our 2-hours plus dinner...

Kyne & I popped by to Paulaners for a 2nd session...
Shared a bottle of red wine (and a plate of sauerkraut & sausages) and just talked the night away...oh well, for the next 4 hours at least hahha...
Our dreams, worries, past, present, future, work....

Lovely lovely night...
I laughed more last night than the whole of last week combined...

Come to think of it, I laughed more this week than the whole of last month combined...
Friends and family do make a difference to your life...:)

Le Musique

Music makes my world...:)

And I find it amazing how music can make or break one's mood...

Amy Winehouse - Back to Black

He left no time to regret
Kept his dick wet
With his same old safe bet
Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my guy

You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through
And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I'll go back to black

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to.....
I go back to us

I love you much
It's not enough
You love blow and I love puff
And life is like a pipe
And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside

We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to

Black, black, black, black, black, black, black,
I go back to
I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black

==============
How apt

Legs are breaking

Bro Kel went running with me again tonight...My pseudo personal trainer haa...

It's nice to have someone push you and pace you...:)
To hear footfalls next to you...To feel another being next to you...
A comforting rhythm...

Am not too sure how far I covered today...3km? More? Hmm mm...
It felt far...haha..I forsee jelly legs tomorrow.

Anyway, pigging is the best way to make yourself happy after slogging...:)
Horfun, iced milo and chicken wings for dinner after that...or was it considered supper? hee..

beezee bee & her little snippets

It's been hectic..and will still be till mid-year at least.

Work has been pretty consuming. Little little things adding up.
Admin, operations, policy, projects, board meeting, the trips...

Personal life was turned upside down...trying to get some semblance of order..
So far so good, hmm hopefully...there's still loose ends to tie dead knots to...

Pretty tiring...
BUT...I will survive!!

=============
Hmm...I think I might be slated for a promotion. Hope I don't jinx things by voicing it out here.
Oh well...fate has dealt me surprises, happiness and also disappointments...
Will see how it goes...

The boss hinted at it this evening...told me to look out for an email tomorrow..
Hmm....wonder what it's all about...

A promo in terms of grade is still a good thing hehe....more $$....:)

=============
Shucks...the album ERA 2 has turned out to be a little disappointing...
So so different from ERA 1.

I'll post a song from ERA 1 here later....

=============
BKK has been slated for end April...
With the sec sch peeps...woot! haha....pigging out session hopefully....

=============
Will be at Oosters tomorrow night...(or rather tonight) with the French peeps...

Am oh so looking forward to the mussels in white wine...power!!! :)

my little stomach

Had dinner with Daniel just now...
Went to Brotzeit again...

And I think I ate like a cow haha...I definitely had more than him...
And at the end of our dinner and drinks...I actually still had room for more...

My stomach's a very strange organ.

On good days, it can take in tons of stuff...
On bad days, it can take nothing in...

It's in a happy mood these two days...
Wonder how it's mood will be like tomorrow...hmm mm...:)

Of Trebles and Addagios

I dragged Aaron & HC out for a walk this afternoon...
That walk turned out tobe an hour-long walk as I brought them to Music Establishment...

Between the 3 of us, we ended up spending $115 haha...on about 5 albums....

My purchase:
- High Society's Genre (double disc)
- ERA 2
- Craig David's Greatest Hits

HC's Purchase:
- Josh Groban

Aaron's Purchase:
- Enya's latest album... hehe...this was after much prodding from me...lol...

HC's gonna rip everything for sharing...woot!!

Rehab - Amy Winehouse

One of her more popular songs..

Back to Black - Part 2

Here's a clearer sounding vid of Back to Black..

Back to Black

Amy Winehouse's voice is really amazing..
I couldn't stop listening to her Back to Black album after Kelvin H passed me the MP3s...
Pity she's a little screwed up at the moment..drugs, rehab and what not..

But her voice is really power power power...:)

Argh

I'm angry.
Dreams were robbed from me.

And now my pockets will also be penalised through no fault of mine?

Life's unfair.

Argh.

Madonna - Push

One of my fav songs from her "Confessions on a DAnce Floor" album...
It's an old album from 2-3 years ago..
But it's a fantastic fantastic production.

Each song leads into the next one..beats do not stop at all and before you know it, things have morphed into a new song and new beat and new lyrics....

Enjoy this one.

After Work

It's been a long time since I had a longer conversation with James.
It's usually been a "Hi. How's business? Stop smoking so much. Bye."

And recently. I just didn't even want to acknowledge him.
Think I'm just tired of things happening and didn't want to bother with greeting him at all...

Perhaps purpleskies' vouchers made the difference.
Perhaps it's cos he knows about things. He was that little bit nicer just now....

He actually said.."Let's go get a beer one of these days."
Darn, I was tired..forgot to ask him if it's his treat.

Nevertheless. He still managed to irk me somehow.

He said. "I think he will need a flat earlier than you do." And ended off with a roaring laugh.

I flashed my middle finger at him in broad daylight in front of dozens of other executives.

Fuck care my reputation in Suntec.

===========
Not all who read will understand.
But oh well...

I've Got a Date!

Sun Plaza Fitness Corner

Sun Plaza Park

Thursday 815pm

Bu Jian Bu San!

Haaa...I'll make sure I run my rounds first before meeting you bro...

thank you

I'm grateful for the web of support surrounding me..

Really...

Adrian just came over to talk to me also haha..

Some of these people probably won't be reading this..but well..

Just some heartfelt thanks...

Blading Today

Today's Lesson 4.

I broke my record today...I fell down.
Darn...I've not fallen down at all since Lesson 1.
But I fell 3 times today...dumb dumb.

Haha...I can't do "toe-roll"...I think I have serious problems with balancing argh..

My bunions are aching today.
Think today's 3-hour lesson really zapped alot of energy out of me man...

But But But...I will master it!!!!!!!!!!

Heavy Heart

What could have been, what should have been, what would have been.

Blown away like dust in wind.

Anger, hurt, disappointment, sadness, pain, loss.

Who, what, where, when, why, how?

Rivulets of tears.

But, a blessing in disguise?

A rainbow after dashed dreams?

Time will tell perhaps.

If God hears this heavy heart.

Some Laughter Keeps Me Sane

Some phrases for Vday??

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
You've screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I'm dreaming,
That's why I wake up screaming.

3. Kind, loving, intelligent and hot,
This describes everything you're not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you cos I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other,
Thats was until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

7. I want to fee your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, your eyes!
Damn, I'm good at telling lies.

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except maybe "go to hell".

bleeding love

I'm broken.

Into smithereens.

It's over.

Quack Quack

Oh ok wait, before I head for my bath...

I shall dedicate a mini post to a dear friend of mine...
You'll know who you are haha...

I was walking to the MRT after work...
Cruising along in my black pants and chic white sleeveless top...

Wind blowing in my hair...I was marvelling at the beautiful sky

And well, I was walking generally fast.

And then.

My phone rang...TMD.

I hate it when it's such a lovely moment and something happenst o spoill the moment.

Saw the caller ID and my jaw just dropped. Cos it was someone who has only appeared on my call list like once or twice in my entire 7 years that I've known him.

James.

Him: "OOI! Why must walk so fast??!!"

Me: "Huh?? Wah lau, u spying me from where? Starbucks again??"

Him: "Ahboden? That's my office what..Never even see me..Why walk so fast??"

Me: "Orh ok, just take it that I did wave at you lah."

Him: "Don't try to bullshit me...Ok, catch up with you again."

Me: "Bye."

And yes, I was shocked for him to have called me.

Bath Time!

Ok!

The Lazy Pig shall head for her bath! hahaha...

I am hooked on scrubbing myself with my lovely green Bodyshop body loofah...

Heee...

YIKES

Hmm...

My dark eye rings seem to be permanently plastered there..

How ah?

Hmm mm...

Heart to Heart

Communication is key.

Whether it's face to face or behind a PC screen

I'm glad in a way that XH and I had our talk this morning.

It was close to an hour long, intermittently...

Sure it was peppered with some awkward jokes to remove the tension

But yet it was quite open in a way too...

I felt strangely happy...

Cleared the air

Found out roughly what each was thinking

And well we're still...

Good friends

Kopi buddies

And cool with each other

That's what I want.

Still cool and open with each other..

Who knew we could get along?

Haa..

Metaphors

Of prunes

Of bushes

Of popsicles

Of wrinkled mini starfishes

I shan't explain.

But I wonder if I read the above 4 lines again a year later...

Will I manage to remember what they were all about??

Came up in a superb MSN conversation with XH this morning...

Hmm mm.

Ribbit Ribbit

Opps...I nearly killed a frog just now..
Went for a run after my 2-week hiatus and was raring to go...

Went on my usual route in the park and was on my second round when I saw something jump just in front of my feet...

Had to "siam" the bugger...
Really a small little thing...perhaps half the size of a char siew bao.
Totally blended in with the tarmac..Lol..

Anyway, the run felt good...Did the usual 2.4 today haha..
With a 2-min break at the 2km mark..to do some very simple stretching..

Courtesy of who?
Bro Kel of course who showed me the benefits of having some light stretching whether in the midst of a run or before or after a run... ahha...

I feel..

Jaded.

Tired.

Weak.

shucks...

I weighed myself this morning.

44kg.

Oh gawd. I lost another kg. My BMI reads as below 16.95 I think.

I really should take care of my health...

Both mental & physical...

I used to weigh 48 or 49 kg back in LHUB days.

That was 1.5 years ago...

Prayers

We went to the Loyang Dua Pek Kong Temple today after our blading lesson...
Sweet sweet Wei Hao was our chauffeur haha..

The last time I was at the temple was a year ago..on the 2nd day of CNY in 2008.
I prayed for Tai Sui last year and went back to "return" thanks...
At the same time of course, I was praying for everything to be smooth-sailing this year..

Apparently Monkeys will have good fortune in the Year of the Ox. Lucky stars seem to be shining brightly..Monkey women will have it better then Monkey men who still have to watch out for some squabbles in the workplace...

Oh well, the Year of the Rat wasn't very good for me in the later half of the year...

Really hope the Year of the Ox treats me well...

I remember telling Mr Bull last year that I like the smell of burning joss sticks and incense...He said I'm perverted haha..

But it's true! The smells of the incense were generally nice just now...
Though it got abit choking at a point in time because there were lots of people there.

We spent close to 45 minutes there I think...from burying the offerings to burning a pair of candles to placing offerings on the tables...to burning the joss sticks and then going around the 12 prayer stations...to burning the incense papers to reading our horoscopes for the year...and finally to visiting two black cows they had in the temple compounds...

May the year ahead be fruitful, happy, smooth-sailing, prosperous, healthy, cheerful and wonderful for me and my dearest ones...

Blading

Blading today was kinda stressful..
I don't know if it was because I'm in a jittery and anxious state of mind..
Or it was because I've not had blades on for the last 2 weeks.

But I'm still glad I didn't fall..hehe.
PQ fell twice or thrice today and she was cursing haa..

We went round the area today. And it was scary at times. Slopes aplenty and cracks apelnty on the pavements...

Desmond, our instructor, was asking us if we had any lunch cos we were both kinda slow and he was falling alseep ahhaha...That goondu actually sat at a bench to wait for us at one point in time...kns haha..

Panic attack? Supernatural experience?

I had a panic attack in the middle of my sleep on Sunday night.
Either that or I had a supernatural experience...

I know I was awake. But my eyes couldn't open.
I know I was freaking out. But I couldn't really wake myself up fully.
I was very afraid. I thought I was going mad.
Well, it really felt like I was going mad.

Heart was pumping. I could feel it in my ears. Thud thud thud.
And I was very afraid of something.
Of noise. I was very araid of any noise. Cos any noise would seem very amplified to my ears.
Any noise would seem to be able to blow my brains out to bits...

It was surreal, yet real.
But the intense fear of feeling like you're going mad was absolutely horrifying.

The heart was itchy but it was a scratch I could never ease.

It was scary, it was horrifying, it was intense, it was deafening in a way the loudest noise can never be.

I remember clasping my eyes together..all the whole my eyes were closed.
I remember reciting Hail Mary over and over and over again.

"Hail Mary the Lord is with thee..Blessed art though amonsgt women and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb jesus..."

And I don't remember anything else after that.
Except waking the next morning with a throbbing head.

fly fly fly

My business trips are confirmed...

I should be excited...but strangely I am not...hmm mm..

Am I being weird? Perhaps it's the destinations...or perhaps it's the arduous 30-hour flight...
Or perhaps, it's the back-to-back trips..Or perhaps, I am just not in the right state of mind.

Feb 22 - 25 Manila...
Feb 27 - March 7 Mexico....

One good thing is I will have Han Chuan as my travel partner...
I will meet up with him in Manila for the conference...And as for Mexico, we'll both be flying there together...:)
Good lah, at least i'll have him for company...

And oh yes...I can clock in my KrisFlyer mileage points....woot.....!

les meilleurs amies

It is a little uncanny..even a little strange.
Things have not been going well for both PQ and me since at least 2 months back...
Mine started earlier though..her unhappy stuff came a few weeks after...

Glad we're there for each other...

She's off to run at ECP now...

Darn it, I was just thinking to myself on the way home from home...I wish I weren't still sick..
I need to run off my frustrations...I need to vent!
My thighs are aching for a good stretch..my calves are yearning for a jiggle and my feet just want to move...

Argh..till next week, till next week...:)

I hope things pan out well for both of us...New year, new hope.

wan lan eh.

99.9% of men are jerks.

I'm feeling hot now. A gf just found out during lunch that a guy whom she was relatively close to actually has a gf. But his behaviour to her doesn't say so at all.
He goes out with her late at night and holds her hands.

I don't understand. I can't understand why.
Why do guys always choose to think with their lesser head? I mean WTF lor...

You have someone faithfully waiting for you. Yet you happily skip along outside and pick other flowers to munch on. Seriously wtf??
Why can't you just cherish the one who's been with you for so long?
Why can't you just be loyal to one????

I was telling her. I feel like frying his dick.
It's a good thing things didn't get too far between them...and it's a bloody good thing she found out now and not later when more feelings are involved.

When such things happen to you and people around you...
Or when you know of such infidelities going around.
It really sucks optimism out of you in one huge gaping breath and leaves you gasping in despair.

And what's left? Jaded-ness? A more guarded heart? Less openness?
Perhaps I've been in denial. Perhaps I've always been too airy fairy.
Perhaps the hopeless romantic in me refused to open my eyes to such things.

The past year and a half has forced the naive me to see things in a fluorescent light.
Bright and clear. Yet paradoxically darker and more ominious at the same time.

The reality of these things really breaks my heart.
Am feeling darn upset now.

En Route to Being WELL and DANDY

Antibiotics makes a difference...:)

Fever's 99% kicked out from my system...

The only nagging thing is the blocked nose...Hmm mm...

The Randomness of It All

I received a tag via facebook today...I was supposed to have written 16 random things about myself and then tag 16 others to do the same.

I guess, I don't listen to instructions very well cos I decided to just write my thoughts down here instead lol.
Some stuff you might already know...some you might not...
Oh well, here goes...


#1 I like colours..green, yellow, red, pink, blue...but I usually end up wearing white or black

#2 My favourite English word is "sardonic" hence my online moniker "sardonica"

#3 I am obsessed with making lists, of all sorts

#4 I might not look like it but I am really a homebody

#5 My Chinese name means "US Dollars"..hiakzz...

#6 I have this thing for cute guys who can sing and play the guitar (or any other musical instrument for that matter)

#7 I wish I had more courage and drive to do greater things

#8 The worst time to approach me for a favour is when I just got out of bed

#9 I am a procrastinator, a very bad one

#10 I can sit at a cafe and people-watch for hours

#11 I express myself more easily in words than speech

#12 I love notebooks and I've a bad habit of buying new ones when I already have a pile of them at home

#13 I used to have imaginary pet dogs, 20 of them

#14 I am a Discovery Channel, Animal Planet and National Geographic kid

#15 When I close my eyes, a whole new world opens up beneath my eyelids, sights, sounds colours..

#16 I fall in love easily and I fall in love with love easily too..I guess..I'm a hopeless romantic

Shell the Entrepreneur?

I received a business proposition today.

It was a casual one though. Came up during a chat with my brother.

At this moment in time, things are at a very airy fairy stage. i.e. TALK and just TALK.
We both agreed to do some simple research about this possible business venture first before going into more in-depth stuff.

It's a franchise from the US. If I were to go into it, I'd be more of a sleeping partner but might undertake some of the PR and marcomms stuff. BD is his forte and he'd be the best person to do it. Operations wise...we've not come to that haha..

Hmm mm....this is interesting. But at this point, I am not 100% convinced about the viability of the business...We'll see how it goes we'll see how it goes...

If he's really keen and can convince me, the sceptical one, then perhaps 2009 or 2010 shall see me fulfilling one of my obscure dreams of becoming an entrepreneur...lol.

chez doctor...

The weather's so good now..
The wind, the sun and the white fluffy clouds in the sky!

Oh I should be in Sentosa now or blading in Pasir Ris Park or running in the park near my house!!!

When will this dumb fever subside..? :(

Just went to see the doc again..
He mentioned that my company's doctor is "dumb" cos he didn't give me antibiotics haha...

Anyway, I've been set back by $40 bucks...

Hope this clears my system within these 2 days...

Ugh..

Freaked out early this morning...
My fever went up to 39.2 degrees at 515am..

Gosh, I've never burned so hot before...Was tossing in bed feeling very uncomfy :(
Woke to take medication at 5am and discovered I was feeling faint..

Hate this feeling man..Aches & pains plus a constant state of grogginess..
Hope the fever clears by tomorrow.

It was 38.2 around 6pm..dropped to 37.8 around 8pm and then down to 37.3 at 9pm...

I apparently have some clashes with the Year of the Rat..
But I didn't expect the clash to be that great man...It's like as if it doesn't want to let me have it easy even in the last few days of the Year of the Rat...zzzz....

Sounding croaky still..hmm...
Cough's almost gone but the nose is starting to drip haha...

bleah

Looking at the fiscal calendar

08 ended on a not good note.

09 started on a not good note either...

Looking at the Lunar calendar...

Rat ended on a not good note...

Hope Ox will start on a very good note...

I fell sick. Woke with aches all over. Felt a little feverish but I thought I could handle it...

Was still managing alright except for the irritating aches...

Went back to office after lunch and I think the fever just ran loose...

Went to a doc and had 2 days MC...which is just as good since it caters for a long break for me...

Supposed to have met the man for dinner. Had to cancel.

Ended up cooking mee sua for myself....parents are out karaoke-ing and dancing at Aranda Country Club...

Just measured my temperature..It's around 37.6 or 37.7 still..

Didn't quite subside since the afternoon..Hope it goes away tomorrow...

My apologies for sounding absolutely down these past months...

But when things go down...they'll go up eventually right?

Hmm mm...

Puff Puff Pant Pant

It's been two weeks since I last went for a simple run...

Went for one just now...very slow very short...

But I had company today.

Ran with Bro Kel...

And he was sweet enough to slow down for me...though errr, a little paiseh cos I think he was just cruising along hahha...

Ran, rested, ran again, walked, ran again...

I covered 3.2km today in total? haha..

You pay $0.30 more and I'll Give You the Big COCK!

OMG. The power of Singlish!
I swear I was laughing like a hyena!!!

Trickles

Things are tough.

Floodgates are open almost everyday.

The river is running dry.

Milk

I was quite enamoured with the show Milk...
The movie about Harvey Milk...the first openly gay man to have been voted into public office in the US.

After watching it on Wednesday night..I spent that night itself surfing the net..
Watching Youtube vidoes of him..listening to some of his speeches...
I read articles and his biography online..
I even discussed stuff with Kelvin H. He got influenced by me and started watching vids of Milk online too haha...

I read about his Hope speech..his life in Castro Street...
I read about his ingenuity and ability to see things beyond which others can't...
I read about his political struggles and his perserverence amidst such strong opposition and criticism...

I read about how he fought and won..how he challenged and won...how he encouraged the underdogs to come out and fight for their own rights..

It was very very interesting. Very very interesting.
2 days later and I am still talking about it.

I'm glad the movie was very very factual.

I loved how it was interspersed with real video snippets from Milk's era...the 1970s.
It all adds to the realness of it all.

I liked how they paid attention to the casting of the actors...
Each actor played out his character to true form...as evidenced by the real photos of those characters shown at the end of the movie...
And as evidenced by what I had read about them in online articles...

I watched the movie and then I read the whole (well almost) history of it all..
Everything was almost true to form...right down to the fonts used on the placards of Milk's campaign posters...

Right down to the shirt he wore when he gave his speech at an event..
Right down to the hair and moustaches...
Right down to the actual jokes which Harvey Milk made last time whilst on a live TV programme...
Right down to the way he was assasinated..

There was almost nothing which was fabricated just to add to the commercial appeal of the movie...It was a good biography and just that.

Plain and simple. No added pizazz or fanfare.
Which is wonderful considering the amount of commercialism and fabrication and surrealism in the movies of now...

I thought Sean Penn did an impeccable job of voicing Harvey Milk. And I thought he did a darn good job of bringing Harvey Milk to life in the movie.
Despair, satire, happiness, hope, fun, sadness, strength, confusion, tiredness, lust...
He did it all with an open and sincere heart...

Lovely show.

Simple disclaimers:
Might be abit draggy for some...
Might be abit strange for others cos of the homosexual scenes (which actually came up to alot of scenes)..
Might be abit boring for yet some others...

Je veux savoir qu'est-ce que j'ai besoin de faire..

Human Rights

Watched Milk with some colleagues just now.
Very interesting show..some people might not have liked the intimate scenes between guys...very sexual, very intimate...
I think Sean Penn did a great job in the movie...

Anyway, here's a video on Human Rights...I think it's rather cool...

French Delf A2 Exam

Voila! I love Benoit!! hahaha..

Benoit was the teacher who took me for my French Delf A2 oral exam...Back on 2 December 2008
He's a Korean fella who was born and bred in France..39 years of age, not very tlal but tanned and cute in a way...but super "ji-hong" aka flirtatious..

He gave me full marks for my oral!!!!!! 25/25
Hahhahaa and for that, I love him for his frivolity in handingout marks lol..

Test Results
Writing: Comprehension - 20/25
Writing: Production - 20.5/25
Listening Comprehension - 22/25
Oral - 25/25

Whee!!! I passed with 87.5/100!!

Muahhaa..
One bright spark in my otherwise grey mood...

Le Bureau...The Office

Major shake-up.

There's gonna be a major re-org in the division.
Each one of the 90-odd staff in the division will be affected. In one way or another.

The Deputy Director General (aka 3rd highest man in the whole organisation) will be giving a briefing tomorrow afternoon.

On who's going where, who's gonna do what now.
Who's gonna get screwed big time.
And what's the new org structure of each department in this division.

I've heard some rumours already.
Plus the boss gaveme a sneak preview of some things to come.
As long as there's no major impact on me.
I think I'm fine.

Hmm.
Hope so.

knn

Talk is cheap.

So very cheap.

The mouth can rattle off a zillion things.

But mean just one big zilch.

And for a seasoned player like you.

I guess it comes naturally.

Damn it XH.

Don't take me for a fool.

WTF.

Food Glorious Food

I had alot of good food last week...
Quite astonishing for a food conscious fella like me...
Which explains why I have 3 big pimples on my left cheek now..argh.

Thursday night was a crab session at Joo Chiat..

We ordered 5 medium-sized crabs for about errrr...6 of us haha...

Apart from the crabs, there were other stuff...

venison! my fav!

rojak ...they had strawberries in it..interesting...

mee goreng

healthy veggies!! finally something healthy haha...
Went with some of my colleagues..and after dinner...we went for durians..

Let's just say I was forced to go with them.

BUT I REFUSED TO TAKE ANY OF THE PUTRID STUFF. hehe...

Saturday night was a meaty & seafoody grill session at Charcoal within the St James compound...
Tuna sliches, beef, bacon, beef tongue, pork chop, chicken, korubuta pork, scallop soup, potato, salad, abalone,

Aw man, you name it...

Lots of seafood, lots of meat

Equals

Loads of cholesterol and well, pimples.

Charcoal is a lovely place to go to if you're into food, eating slowly, and cooking your own stuff...Lovely lovely....

Too bad no pics this timer ound...not yet at least haha...

Thoughts

Blading went well yesterday.
Shall keep my promise to myself...to learn cycling after I am done with learning blading.

I think the art of learning new things nowadays...is not to feel too conscious of yourself.
Just relax and enjoy things.

Voila...jiayou to me..!

=========
I have mastered the art of getting high and enjoying yourself, without the need for alcohol to boost your intoxication.

Was at St James on Saturday night. I only had 2 glasses of vodka lime. Stopped myself from drinking anything further.
And I still had a good time whilst the rest felt abit bored...claimed they weren't high cos not enough alcohol in their system...

I guess at times, fun is how u create it for yourself...

Sylvester was great in his performances...wonderful.

=========
There are dark days ahead.

The division is undergoing a re-org.

Personal life is abit shaky.

Floodgates seem to have opened up quite abit.

Volatile start to the new year.

why

为什么你说谎不眨眼的？

为什么？？

Work Work Work?

And so, the retirement age might be raised to 65 soon.

I've not even reached 30 yet.

Wonder if they'll raise it to 70 or 75 by the time I hit 40 years old.

Bull Shit Queen

So tak glam.

I'm unceremoniously listed as Bull Shit Queen in Danile's MSN nick today...

The nick said "I just realised my friend is a Bull Shit Queen!!!"

zzzzz....

Fragrant Rice

And while Madonna & Craig David accompany me whilst at work...
Jay Chou accompanies to and from work...

One of my fav songs from his latest album..
The vid's interesting cos there's English translation to the lyrics..

I didn't realise how meaningful the lyrics were till I read them in English...
Lovely lovely lyrics..
Enjoy...:)