The Nest

Part of the nest in its (almost) full glory. A pity the bags are in the picture. :)

Little Baby

Oh, the signs of future temper tantrums were there last night.

Little Baby was playing with something she wasn't supposed to. And when I took it away from her and offered her something else, she descended into a big cry-fest, complete with red face, clenched fists, and some tears.

I hope K and I are able to teach her to be more calm when she grows up...

That said, consistency is key to a child's upbringing.

If the parents are saying something or trying to achieve something, but other caregivers are doing otherwise, then mixed signals are being given to the child. The child gets confused and doesn't get steered in the right direction.

I hope we won't fall into this situation.

Men vs Women

We were buying cleaning stuff for the new place. K bought the usual 3M brand yellow and green sponge. 

I popped by Daiso and grabbed a pack of lovely coloured sponges, each comes with a scouring pad too! 

My theory: I want to feel happy while cleaning. Haha. The bubblegum colours are so sweet! Red, orange and yellow....:)

K shook his head when I shared my theory with him. Lol. 

Our Nest

Our toilet bowl is no longer a virgin. Lol.

My apologies for sounding crude but K and I each had an inaugural pee and poo session in our new master bedroom toilet today. Haha. 

We had marathon session in Giant earlier in the morning where we grabbed tons of cleaning chemicals and tools and other knick knacks, in preparation for the major clean-up needed after the renovation is officially over. We then brought it over to the house and kept it a corner first. 

Things look more or less in place already save for the installation of glass pieces and sliding doors. 

Loving our kitchen tap and sink. Loving our bar counter. Loving the LED lights and the track lighting. And loving our balcony lampshade. 

Yesterday was a mad rush running errands and taking care of the girl for the entire day. Today is no exception. The next few weeks will be madness I think. 

Feeling tired, hot and sticky now. 

But, it's all worth it. :) 

RIP

I woke this morning and read with horror and sadness of the news of the crashed airplane MH#17.

I shuddered at the thought of all those people on the plane, trapped, innocent and helpless. Spiralling down when they were hit by the supposed missile.

What were their last thoughts? Were they terrified? Did they have any regrets? Who did they think of in their last moments? Were they sleeping and jolted awake by the impact of the missile hitting the plane? Did God mean for them to perish this way? Why?


One report said there were 80 children on the plane. My heart aches for them and for what could have been for them had their lives not been so brusquely snatched away.

In all honesty, I hope the passengers and crew died quickly and were not made to suffer unnecessarily.

God bless their souls.

Of Gaza and Gratefulness

I have not been following closely the tense situation in Gaza. While I have only had the chance to take brief glimpses at various snippets people have posted on social media, what I have seen is more than enough to touch me.

Innocent young babies, toddlers and children having their lives robbed from them. Women and other innocent civilians are not spared as well. Call me naive but isn't there is such a thing called war ethics? That women and children and other innocent civilians shouldn't be dragged into the fracas?

I saw a photo of a baby, no more than 3 months old, swaddled up in a white cloth. He looked tiny amidst the folds of cloth. His eyes were closed and he looked somewhat peaceful. He didn't know any better I suppose and was not given a chance to savour life fully before it was taken away from him. He was laid out next to his mother who too, had her life taken from her.

I don't know the underlying premise behind the attacks nor what political agenda and motives there might be. I admit, I am lacking in knowledge of current affairs of both our local arena and that of the world. But still, one does not need to understand the motives and causes to know that it is inherently wrong to conduct attacks on innocent people....

I am grateful that my government has taken steps to ensure the safety and peace of the country not only through military preparedness and weaving social harmony over the years, but also through maintaining healthy bilateral ties with other nations.

I am grateful, that I am born in a country that is stable, both from such atrocities and from other earthly natural disasters.
I am grateful too, that my daughter has been brought into this world in a safe environment. I cannot fathom if she had been born into a situation otherwise.

When she grows older, I wish to share with her the plight of other less fortunate people...and that we should treasure our loved ones and not take things for granted.

Nest building in progress

Yes. Let's Do It!

I think K and I have been caught in a trap in recent months. And it's called "The Daily Grind".

Work, caring for little baby and our weekends are spent madly running errands or settling things for our new home or going over to visit my parents. We hardly have time for ourselves. When we do have some quiet moments together, we just feel like crashing into bed and snoring the time away lol.

Hmm. We'll need to figure a way out of it. Or at least figure out some ways to break the monotony of the grind.

My solution for now?

Plan some simple outdoor activities for the weekend. Something just needing an hour or two. Nothing too complicated for a start.
eg. picnic at the park or the beach or bringing the girl for a quick dip in the pool, etc.

Will objectives be met? I think so...

1. It's a break from the usual routine.
2. K & I will have time together.
3. Little Baby will get her outdoor time and fresh air and some sun (she needs more of these in my opinion).
4. And we get to bond together as a family.

何乐而不为! 

Just takes some effort to think and a little bit more effort to execute but at least we're doing something about it! And yup, it gives me a little something to look forward to and perhaps helps me get through the week. :)

Yes. Let's do it!

La Lune

745am. 

I can still see the moon in the sky although the sun is shining brightly already. 

月亮月亮圆又圆!

It'll be a good day today. :) 

Hmm

有时候在cheong的途中也会有累的时刻。

累了继续走是坚持。

走啊走又发觉忘了目标或迷失了方向但还是继续走。 这还算是坚持吗？

Feeling nostalgic

Reminiscing the days when she was so little...and it was only 9 mths ago...spent some time last night storing away the clothes that she has outgrown and the mittens that she no longer uses.

Awwww *sniff* 

Now her socks are longer than the length of my whole hand. 

Oh my lips!

Oh dear. I seem to have developed lip eczema. And I have no idea why.

The doc I saw on 4 July told me I likely had an allergic reaction to whatever stuff I was putting on my lips. His words were "Aiyah you ladies put so much chemicals on your faces! I always see such cases. Eczema on lips and face. Always women!"

I admit, I have many many tubes of lipbalms. Various types. Lip balm and lip gloss. That's because I cannot do without them (I have lips that are quite dry). And that's also because I tend to misplace them so I usually have different tubes on hand in different places. 1 in my bag, 1 in my home cupboard, 1 in my office drawer, 1 in little baby's diaper bag, and 1 more on standby in case I misplace any of the others aforementioned. That's 5 tubes.

I've already stopped using any of them and bought a new one from Vaseline that helps with chapped lips.

I was put on medication and told to apply some ointment on the affected area of my lip (upper lip by the way). It helped and after 2-3 days, the red patches disappeared by up to 95%.

To my horror, on the Saturday afternoon just past, only a week after the initial consultation with the doctor, the stubborn red patch on the left side of my upper lip flared up again. And the skin on that patch is starting to scale too.

For the last few meals I had, the patch started to tingle after I ate. I feel as if the skin there is developing a life of its own.

Feeling a little "uglified". Go away red patch!

KH told me she developed something similar a few years ago and that her lip eczema flares up every now and then if she takes food which is too spicy or does not drink enough water. She told me to try skipping spicy food.

Gosh...I need my curry and spice from time to time leh....how ah? :(

CHEONG AH!!

This year has been a challenging year so far.

Tensions in the home in the beginning of the year, the constant lack of sleep, the transition of going back to work after 4 months of leave, getting our new place....juggling reno, work and little baby....buying stuff for the new home...going for my numerous medical reviews this year...

And the latest addition to the list....a team member just resigned after 6 months on the job...the boss just very naturally asked me to cover her duties....Ahhhh...a minion's life.

What can I say? Do lor.....
CHEONG AH!!!!

Jiayou Jiayou Jiayou!

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse is on my playlist today. And I have to say she's really got a great voice and is so talented. I was listening to her Live at Glastonbury concert from back in 2008.

Lovely voice. What a pity she's no longer with us.

I can stand!

With loads of support that is...she loved it when I placed her in a standing position using the cot rails as support. When she wobbled and sat back down on her bum later on, she tried to get back to the standing position again. To no avail though lol.

Touched

Two old friends suddenly both texted me yesterday to ask how I was doing. Interestingly, though I've not been in contact with both for quite awhile, they both remembered certain things about me.

One remembered where my office location was and the other remembered which industry I was in.

Somewhat touched that they remembered these details. Because honestly, I don't think I can remember such details of theirs. They are really 有心 and I appreciate that.

One of them reminded me that I lent him my listening ears last time when he was going through several rough patches and he really appreciated that and never forgot it.

Maybe it's true what Maya Angelou said. People might not remember what you said or what you did but they will always remember how you made them feel. Treat people how you want to be treated. 

My very own angry bird

Lun

Early morning. Snide remarks. 

Lun. 忍. 

Communication #101

Always be clear what subject you are talking about or referring to.

DBS called me on my office desk phone earlier this afternoon.

DBS: Hi I'm Sarah, calling to check and confirm on the transfer of $4million.
Me: DBS? $4million??
Sarah: Yes, $4million.
Me: Transfer in or out??
Sarah: Transfer out.
Me: I don't even have that amount of money darling.
Sarah: Erm...
Me: Oh wait. You are calling to check on [my organisation's name] banking activities is it??
Sarah: Yes I am.
Me: ...........*aiyah say so earlier lah*................


So apparently I have been listed by my admin as one of the persons for the bank to call and check with if there seems to be any strange or unusually large value of transactions being done with my organisation's funds. 

HUH?

“You need to learn to pick up the skill of more passionate writing.”

This was in an email the boss sent to me this morning. 

Oh please. I used to write more emotively and passionately and he said the words used were either too strong or too emotional and needed to be toned down and made more neutral and objective.

Now he's saying that I need to be more passionate in my writing.

Boss, what do you want ah? Sigh.

We’re in the public service. I thought our tone should be more neutral and subtle?

Work Today

The classics are accompanying me at work today.

The tunes of Spanish Eyes, More, Big Spender, Chicago, and more are filling me up....and the silky voices of Dean Martin, Nat King Cole, Tony Bennett, Shirley Bassey, Louis Armstrong, Julie London and more are just so comforting...

Drafting a difficult email since this morning. I hope my mind clears up its block soon and this email gets drafted properly!

Planning a half day this Friday. I really need to get a haircut. My locks are unshapely, messy and getting all tangled up.

Absent-mindedness

Resulting from a lack of sleep.

I have been placing things somewhere and then forgetting where I placed them.

And this morning, after I showered and sat down to apply make-up....I realised to my horror......that my eyes were still smudged from the previous day's eyeliner. Apparently I had forgotten to remove my eye make-up the previous night.....zzzz....

jiayou!!

Ok, I backslided for a few days and became a grumpy grouch. Or is it a grouchy grump? Oh whatever, you know what I mean. I think it was due to a few reasons:

(i) I did not manage to get good sleep for a few nights due to the neighbours’ dogs kicking up a mad ruckus consecutively over a few nights…plus my FIL was watching the World Cup…plus I’ve been sleeping late and waking up earlier than usual….

(ii) I’ve both a tension ache in my shoulder and neck as well as a nagging ache on both temples. Actually even my jaws are aching. Tension aches? Or just heaty? Hmm….

(iii) I allowed myself to slide…and got overwhelmed by the number of things to do and the number of things to think about or decide on….

I promise I’ll pick myself up again.

Afterall, life is beautiful and I shouldn’t mar it with too much negativities. I should count my blessings everyday too…that I have a loving family, firm friends, a wonderful husband and a gorgeous lovable daughter. And I have an able body and an able mind.

Baby and Little Baby

K went to BKK again yesterday morning and will be back on Friday evening.

I'm glad Little Baby was pretty much a sweetie last night and was easy to handle. She knocked out at 7pm and only woke twice after that. Once at 12am and another at 130am for a feed. After the feed, she concussed on her full tummy all the way till this morning when I woke her up for her diarrhoea medication.

When I tip-toed into the room this morning, I found her on her belly in the starfish position i.e. spreadeagled with arms and legs fully stretched out. Head to one side, right cheek squashed against the mattress and mouth agape. I could her breathing deeply and slowly. It was really cute. Plus she was in a romper dotted with many many tiny pink hearts. Oh what a sight in the morning! My heart was filled with love. :)

But alas! My brain doesn't work well in the mornings. I forgot to take a picture...bah...

Anyway, I hope she'll be a sweetie pie this evening again and not fuss too much haha.

Little Baby misses Daddy. Dada come home quickly!

Fml

For some reason, I seem to always "meet" with worms or snails in my vegetables. Or ants in my soup or pebbles in my rice. Or other weird stuff...

K says I think too much or am on the watch for them which is why I spot them often, more so than the average person. 

I beg to differ. 

Case in point: I was not looking for anything in my broccoli this afternoon during lunch at Astons. I was listening to Kah Hui griping about work and happened to flip over the first piece of broccoli on my plate. And then there it was. A HUGEASS cream-coloured worm right smack in between the stems of that piece of broccoli. Boiled to stiffness. It was a good 0.5mm thick and 2 long. That's the biggest worm I've ever encountered in my veg. I made the staff change the entire plate of food for me. Thinking about it now still gives me the creeps. And I was slightly disappointed at their service. No service recovery except to change my plate of food. I only heard a single sorry. 

Just 2 weeks ago I encountered a dark grey worm in the veg in my fish noodle soup at the foodcourt. Like wtf. That was a long one too, also about 2cm. 

And then there was that stupid pebble in my rice which caused my molar to crack a few years ago, and which caused me to have one tooth less now. 

And then there was that snail in my watercress soup at home...that fried baby cockroach in my fried rice several years ago...that piece of metal in my noodles from the thing used to scrub pots....and the list goes on.....

Oh and guess what veg is being served for dinner at home today? 

Yes, broccoli. 

.........

Number 76

Mama, today's the 76th day since you left us. How fast time flies these days and 2-odd months has slipped by so quickly.

I can't say I think of you every single day but you appear in my thoughts often enough. And sometimes at odd times too...

I wish you well, wherever you are.

p/s: I have finally found out the name of your eldest sister, Tan Guat Sian.

pp/s: I miss your yellow rice dish...and many of your other dishes....

Savour the moment

The sky was gorgeous this evening and I'm very glad I got to see it with k by my side. He reached the station earlier than me and waited for me so we could walk home together. 

And we walked home to this beautiful sight....

The clouds were really lovely this evening. Anothero pic that I took while on the bus home.....

Oh sinful day!

Had both Old Chang Kee for tea and Mcdonalds for supper. 

Waistline expanding day. Horrors!!!

Sigh + Ugh + CMI

Nothing I can really do. 

So? 

Just keep it within. Till a point where I need to let it all out and then I'll find someway to flush it out. 

The little one

Quite like this pic of Little Baby.

Don't know why though. 

Side note: still not quite sure what to do with that thick "helmet" on her head. It's a waste to cut or trim it all off but sometimes it causes her to feel warm...

Our Nest

Its in its raw and infancy stages but slowly and surely taking shape....

mid-day thoughts

Sometimes when someone misunderstands you and your intentions…walk away or just let it slide…

Sometimes, the more you explain the more grimy it gets.

Those who matter, don't mind. They will still love you. 

Those who mind, don't matter I guess. 

Bah

It's one thing to be staying in your parents' place and have your mum walk into your room while you are sleeping. It's another thing altogether when you are staying with your in-laws and your MIL walks into your room in the dead of the night to check if you have closed the windows in your room and the baby's room. 

I got startled. I wasn't scared shitless but yes I was quite startled. 

Sigh...

:(

My body constitution is really weak now. It was weak before but I could still manage.
Pregnancy and childbirth must have zapped my body out of so much nutrients and energy that I feel quite weak now.

I fall sick easily and my stamina sucks. It's as if I am still pregnant and not able to walk quickly or climb the stairs without catching my breath.

A colleague suggested a whole list of chinese herbal soups guaranteed to boost vitality and the general "qi" of  a person. Sorry pal...I can't take herbs...Another suggested chicken stewed in brandy. This is more feasible...

Coupled with exercise (which I have yet to start....) I hope I can build myself up again...

........

The man's going away to BKK for a business trip tomorrow and will only be back on Thursday night.

Mummy will be on a solo adventure with the Little One for the next 3 mornings and nights. 

First time. Keeping fingers crossed! 

And may she be a good girl and sleep right through for all 3 nights! 

I've a board meeting on Wed afternoon and two of the tabled approval papers are mine. Hope I am not too "stoned" on that day. 

And my stomach isn't doing well these few days, especially today. May my tum feel better very soon. 

Jiayou!!

看开看开

凡事都要看开....

Even if there are irritating folks in your team...

看开看开...

And your world will still remain beautiful...

(Well, hopefully)

看开看开...

看开看开...

看开看开...

============
Not trying to be mean...but recall someone saying something about The Coll. It went something like this...

"Earn so much and still so lazy....With her attitude, no wonder she's still unmarried...Better find a guy for her. Hopefully she'll be better after that...."

I remember it came as a shock to me because the person who said the above is a mild-mannered and very patient lady. For her to say something like that means The Coll probably stepped on her toes once too many times...

开工大吉！

They dismantled the wallpapers on Wednesday and today the hacking officially starts. :) 

May everything go smoothly and be 顺顺利利! 

Looking forward to our little nest. 

A place where Little Baby will grow up in. :) 

Resting bitch face

I've long known that I have a "resting bitch face" aka chau bin and that I frown when I am concentrating hard at work or thinking about something. 

This was yet again affirmed by what the office cleaner auntie told my boss' PA. She said that I have a chau bin and look extremely fierce and unfriendly and that she didn't dare talk to me. Knowing how she usually speaks and gossips about others, she probably made it sound quite bad. 

Oh well, I'm actually just a harmless meek lamb. Really. 

feeling....calm

It's been a good day so far. I'm thankful.
Work has been smooth. I had a half-hour skype call with a potential reseller based in New York which went well, though at times it was a little awkward, maybe because of time lag issues with Skype.

I had mee hoon kueh for lunch and it warmed me up from the inside out. Perfect meal for a cold and rainy day.

Power Station accompanied me this morning during work and now in the afternoon, Jason Mraz has the honours of doing so.

The melodies of Mr Curiosity, A Beautiful Mess, 93 Million Miles, You and I Both....are filling my ears...some repeatedly haha.

I feel at peace and I am imagining the days when I can play his songs in my own home...while I am going about my chores...or just chilling on the couch...

Can't quite decide if the music or the rain is calming me...

心疼

Oh...心疼啊心疼...Little Baby has been on a blend of Zyrtec, Bambec and Singulaire...

The doc did a nose swab on her and it tested positive for bacteria and so now she has to be on antibiotics....and because she will be on antibiotics, the doc's prescribing her probiotics as well because the antibiotics might cause her gastric....

Sigh...so young and taking so much medication...:(

K & I are feeling 心疼 now...

Dreams...

Dreamt of Xingli last week but I couldn't remember what the dream was about. Dreamt of her again on Sat night and I distinctly remembered that she was expecting in my dream and it was a baby boy she was carrying. 

I texted her on Sunday, told her about my dream and jokingly asked if my dream was true. 

And she said it was half-true. 

She really was expecting her third but it's a girl. 

Got a shock when she replied me. Wah my dream is true! Although not so accurate on the details but it was true! How coincidental can it be? 

Mr Pen

Since Little Baby's second week after birth, we've been noting down all her feed times and poo moments, and all her medication times when she's sick. Now that she started on some solids, we're noting those down too and monitoring her intake.

This morning, Mr Pen's ink ran out....

Thank you Mr Pen..

You came from an opulent hotel (Four Seadons if I remember correctly) to our humble abode and you've served us well for almost 7.5months. 

29th May 2014

Yesterday was Granny's 49th day of passing. 

Nothing strange happened. Not did I see any moth. 

I hope she's moved on to Heaven smoothly. 

morning rambles

The boss' ficklemindedness is causing me anguish, anger and frustration.

One day he says this. The next day he says that.

If he changes his mind, and acknowledges it's his indecision, I'm fine.

But for this recent incident, he changed his mind and blamed me for making the initial decision. Like WTF? I reminded him that it was he who made the decision in the initial place and it was agreed during the team meeting where everyone was present.

And what's worse was that I've already communicated the initial decision to the external party. Now I have to backtrack and tell them errrr....actually cannot.

My reputation is affected. It's like as if I can't do my job properly.

ARGH.

Phew...

Feeling thankful and grateful.

The skies were very overcast and I was still on the bus on the way to work. I decided to take a gamble and wing it instead of stopping at an MRT station along the way and switching to the train.

The clouds held it in and the moment I reached the building and stepped under shelter, they let loose and the rains poured down.

Moth

A small black moth appeared on Friday at our area of the house and had stayed on. It was always on the high walls or near the ceiling. 

When I woke from the dream last night and went to tend to Little Baby because she was crying, the moth was just outside my bedroom. On an adjacent wall and at eye-level instead. 

This morning, when going down the stairs, I found it lying upturned on its wings. It must have died sometime between 3am and 730am....:(

Dreamt of granny

The dream started off nice.

It was our open house, a house-warming of sorts. I saw her approaching from a distance. She seemed spritely, cheery and healthy. A small smile lit her face and she had a twinkle in her eyes. She was wearing her gold-rimmed glasses. Her hair was short and neat and permed in those little curls she favoured.

She was flanked by two other ladies, one was my grand-aunt Ipoh (granny's younger sister) and the other I've forgotten who, though in the dream I seemed to know who she was. They supported her from each side, but it was a cursory gesture for she seemed strong enough to stand and walk on her own. 

I started towards them. And that was when the dream changed course. 

As I approached them the surroundings blurred increasingly. Noises faded out and suddenly the two ladies by her side were no more. It was just herself and me. 

She had become skin and bones, weak and fragile. Her knobby knees buckled under her weight and I found myself carrying her. She leaned in heavily on me, her head lolled on my chest and she felt heavy in my arms despite being only skin and bones. Her eyes had become dull. 

And then for some strange reason, I was on a road suddenly. Darkness all around. When I turned to my left there was a sudden appearance of bright lights, I winced. It turned out to be the headlights of a white van. 

I sidestepped and the van swerved as well. We narrowly missed each other. I remember thanking god for protecting granny and myself. 

The dream ended there though because Little Baby's cry suddenly pierced through the baby monitor receiver. It was 2:30am when I checked the clock.

I remember waking up feeling sad. I wonder what the rest of the dream would have been like had I not been awoken. 

Taking that first step

There, I did it. 

I've been wanting to say hi to someone whom I've seen for the longest time at my bus-stop. I see her pretty often and over time I've come to realise that she's our neighbour, 2 doors away. Through conversations with my MIL, I think she realised that I'm actually related to my MIL and hence am her neighbour too. She mentioned to my MIL that she found it awkward and didn't know how to introduce herself to me.

So it was a case of we know who each other is but each found it awkward to say hi to the other. 

Finally gathered my courage today when I saw her and went up to her and introduced myself. 

Took me awhile but I'm glad I did it. 

When I was 18 and fresh in uni, I used to be able to do this with ease and was a relatively social person. That was how I got to know many people in my hostel. But over time, and especially after I joined this organization, I found it increasingly difficult. Not quite sure why through. Maybe I'm getting older? 

Glad I found a part of myself today. 

And so we sleep...

Was supposed to head out and run errands but the little girl decided to sleep right in the middle of her toys. And so.....we sleep.