Several months ago, a new boss came by to lead the team. The old boss was retained on contract as an advisor, subject to further notice or till when he is ready to retire or when the higher-ups don't need him anymore.
Yesterday, I received the annual letter given out to staff. The one which informs staff of the amount of corporate bonus, performance bonus, annual salary increment and/or market salary adjustment.
I had already expected a lower than usual performance bonus from previous years.
I just did not expect the performance bonus component to be even lower than what I was expecting.
Am I disappointed?
Yes. It was the lowest in all my 8.5 years of serving the company. In fact, it was almost half of what I usually get.
Why? Several reasons I can think of.
New boss. With a different standard of rating.
I was away on maternity leave for 5 months plus. (Though it is to be noted that during my previous leave of absence in 2013 for the birth of Nadya, my performance wasn't so drastically affected. In fact, I don't think I was penalised at all.)
I was also penalised for a delayed project which incidentally, got delayed not entirely because of me but also due to other external factors.
So?
FML lor.
When I need the money, circumstances happen such that it doesn't come in as much as past years.
Will this affect the way I work now?
The right response would be: No of course not, I am still a dedicated individual putting in my worth for the company. Truth be told, I am not so sure. But I think my dedication to the company just dropped by half. Could be just a reactionary emotion on my part, I don't know.
Anyway.
Lao niang is not happy with this year's performance bonus.
Anyway.
Lao niang can't do much about it.
Anyway.
Pfffffftttttttttttttttt.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
please go away now.....
*cough*
*splutter*
*cough*
Really bad this time.
I don't think I've had it this bad before.
My stomach muscles started to get sore on Sunday morning from the vigorous coughing.
FML....
And I don't wanna pass it to the kids....:(
Went for an xray yesterday to rule out any sinister issues....
Hope the results are ok.....
*splutter*
*cough*
Really bad this time.
I don't think I've had it this bad before.
My stomach muscles started to get sore on Sunday morning from the vigorous coughing.
FML....
And I don't wanna pass it to the kids....:(
Went for an xray yesterday to rule out any sinister issues....
Hope the results are ok.....
Conversations with a 31-month-old
This morning after I woke Nadya up.
N: Mama, today I don't have school? *looks expectantly at me*
Me: Darling, you have school today.
N: *immediately starts to whine* I don't want to go to school.....
Me: Go lie down for awhile. I'll make some milk for you.
N: Mama, I have gym today?
N: *thinks further* Mama, I don't have gym today? I don't have gym today.
Me: Yup, I think you don't have gym today.
N: REALLY? *looks upset*
Ok sorry darling, Mama burst your bubble early on Monday morning...
N: Mama, today I don't have school? *looks expectantly at me*
Me: Darling, you have school today.
N: *immediately starts to whine* I don't want to go to school.....
Me: Go lie down for awhile. I'll make some milk for you.
N: Mama, I have gym today?
N: *thinks further* Mama, I don't have gym today? I don't have gym today.
Me: Yup, I think you don't have gym today.
N: REALLY? *looks upset*
Ok sorry darling, Mama burst your bubble early on Monday morning...
Saturday, May 07, 2016
Urgh
It's here again.
The feeling of slight frustration and feeling a little stifled. The feeling of wanting to spend some time doing my own things. Or developing myself. Or just simply laying down to vege out.
I know I should be grateful that my daughter adores me and can't let me out of her sight for long. But at times, I really need some breathing space. Some me-time to discharge, to decompress, to destress.
A whole host of things needing my attention. What groceries and household products to get. What to cook. How to wean. What to wean on. What new clothes to get for the kids. Which areas of the house to focus cleaning efforts on. Nadya's ballet shoes need to be stitched up.
I just discovered this morning that oh darn, the helper has neglected the cleanliness and upkeep of the washing machine. Bits of caked up old soap powder formed a crust along a portion of the drum. The compartments collecting dirt had not been cleaned thoroughly. The washing machine is a very essential item in our home, I can't afford to let it spoil and need to ensure that it is well taken care of.
The cupboards in the kitchen need to be emptied and wiped out. The fridge needs to be cleaned too. The freezer compartment too. The shelf in the living room needs a spot of thorough cleaning as well.
My table. Enough said. It's a mess.
My hair. Split ends and bushy.
My face. White heads, black heads. Zits.
I want to spend some time watching TV.
I want to spend more time Zentangling.
I want to go on the threadmill.
And I'm coughing my lungs out still. I don't know what to do about it. Medication doesn't seem to be working at all. I'm taking codeine every night. Will I turn into a cough syrup junkie?
My throat is suffering from the hacking cough and my voice is hoarse as well.
Partly pek chek.
Partly contented.
Partly fed-up.
Partly happy.
Partly unhappy.
Partly listless.
Sigh.
Chance meeting
Wow. Nadya 交游广阔.
We went for a quick breakfast this morning at ToastBox at Katong 112. She pointed to a Korean boy and said that was "Kang Hoo".
K and I looked at each other. Yeah we knew there was a Kang Hoo in her school. He was in the same batch of infant care as her but is now in a different nursery class because he is several months older.
So this boy was there at ToastBox with his parents and grandparents. The last time I saw his mom was a long time ago so I couldn't be sure if it was her or not and if the boy was really Kang Hoo.
When we were about to leave, Nadya wanted to go greet this boy so we went over and really, it was Kang Hoo! I think we surprised the grandparents and parents quite abit haha. They kept waving and smiling at her.
And there you go, my daughter, at the age of 2.5 years, had her first chance encounter with a friend.
So qiao.
My comfort food
1. Fried beehoon
2. Mee tai bak soup
3. Fried rice
4. Chee cheong fun with soy sauce and sesame oil
5. Ayam buah keluak
6. Macaroni in chicken soup
7. Cheng ting
Probably because these dishes remind me of the home I grew up in, my grandmother and my mother.
Friday, May 06, 2016
Singing in my mind
The following TV jingle that was oh-so-popular when I was a young child....
"I don't wanna grow up. I'm a Toys'r'us kid....."
Yea, I don't wanna grow up.
"I don't wanna grow up. I'm a Toys'r'us kid....."
Yea, I don't wanna grow up.
Thursday, May 05, 2016
Latest pieces
Upping the ante and experimenting with pencils and shading now to add more depth to the patterns and drawings...
I have to say...Zentangling is really quite therapeutic. And....YouTube is a great teacher haha.
My photo taking skills aren't exactly great though. :) doesn't do justice to the drawings but oh well....
Wednesday, May 04, 2016
working mothers
A friend at work just enrolled her 18month-old daughter into childcare. Today is the child's 2nd day there and she was still crying alot.
My friend, who incidentally is also named Michelle, is feeling very frazzled now. She is upset and feels heartbroken seeing her kid crying like that. She had thoughts of pulling her daughter out of the centre as well after seeing her daughter cry like that....
Just spent the last hour trying to give her some moral encouragement. Via Whatsapp lol.
Told her to hang on for these few days...and that her kid will adjust soon...most kids will go through this transition phase at some point too....better now then later I guess...
I remember the time when I felt this way when I left Nadya in infant care. The good thing was that Nadya was too young then to even know what was happening...hence there wasn't alot of crying.
Jiayou to all working mothers...
Jiayou to all mothers who are going through the daily struggle of handing their children over to other caregivers, while wishing they were the ones by their children's sides....
Jiayou to Michelle...
Jiayou to me....
My friend, who incidentally is also named Michelle, is feeling very frazzled now. She is upset and feels heartbroken seeing her kid crying like that. She had thoughts of pulling her daughter out of the centre as well after seeing her daughter cry like that....
Just spent the last hour trying to give her some moral encouragement. Via Whatsapp lol.
Told her to hang on for these few days...and that her kid will adjust soon...most kids will go through this transition phase at some point too....better now then later I guess...
I remember the time when I felt this way when I left Nadya in infant care. The good thing was that Nadya was too young then to even know what was happening...hence there wasn't alot of crying.
Jiayou to all working mothers...
Jiayou to all mothers who are going through the daily struggle of handing their children over to other caregivers, while wishing they were the ones by their children's sides....
Jiayou to Michelle...
Jiayou to me....
Tuesday, May 03, 2016
Open Letter
To: The lady at the optical shop, Cindy.
On Saturday afternoon, I was there at the shop where you work at. I was there to collect my contact lenses which I had ordered from you 2 weeks earlier. I had Nadya with me this time.
We chatted a little about our kids and then you asked a question which was worded more like a comment. "她这样小你舍得让她一个人睡meh?"
It may seem like a harmless question when reading in plain text but you nuanced it with your body language.
You had a small sneer on your face. It was a look of disdain, mild contempt and disapproval.
I chose not to answer you since it was uttered at a time when I was already getting ready to leave. I merely said goodbye to you and thanked you for the service provided for my making of contact lenses (the service was actually quite satisfactory I must say).
Look lady, there is an unspoken mother code. I know you are a mother as well. A mother does not bash another mother, nor question another mother's parenting choices in her face. We are all trying our best here and every mother wants the best for her child.
You can judge me behind my back for all I care. That's your prerogative. But leave your judgemental questions in your mind. Don't throw it in my face.
Pfffttttt.
I chose not to answer you since it was uttered at a time when I was already getting ready to leave. I merely said goodbye to you and thanked you for the service provided for my making of contact lenses (the service was actually quite satisfactory I must say).
Look lady, there is an unspoken mother code. I know you are a mother as well. A mother does not bash another mother, nor question another mother's parenting choices in her face. We are all trying our best here and every mother wants the best for her child.
You can judge me behind my back for all I care. That's your prerogative. But leave your judgemental questions in your mind. Don't throw it in my face.
Pfffttttt.
Sunday, May 01, 2016
Go Peanut Go!
Mighty glad that Alyssa's fever finally broke on Friday night.
She lost weight over the past week but her appetite seems to have improved and she has been calling out for milk every 3 hours or so since Saturday morning. Even during the middle of the night.
Stay strong sweetie...mama loves you!
P/s: that's not a huge smile per se haha but more of a smile that was morphing into a yawn. :) I happened to catch it at the most precise moment haha
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Nadya
She drives me nuts at times.
She tests my limits time and again.
She stifles me from time to time.
But.
I love her to bits.
I love the way she hugs me.
I love the way she shows her affection by patting me the way I pat her.
I love the way her eyes twinkle.
I love her for her wittiness and cheekiness and intelligence.
My firstborn. :)
Boohoo
The finality has hit home.
I'm packing up and keeping all my milk storage bottles and pumps and tubes and accessories....I've also given my extra milk storage bags away...
Note to self:
Yes it is final. Your BF journey is at an end. While it may have ended not in the way you wanted, be glad that you even lasted till 6.5months. Especially when you were initially only planning on hitting the 4-month mark. *small pay on the back*
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Parenting 101
I constantly question whether I am doing the right things for my kids.
Alyssa has been falling sick so often since she started infant care. We've brought her to the PD at least 7-8 times since CNY this year. To the point that the thought of pulling her out of infant care did cross my mind. Am I doing the right thing by letting her continue? Am I doing her a greater disservice by pulling her out?
Nadya has started enrichment classes in her school. She's taking gym lessons and recently started on ballet. Now her teacher tells me more than half her classmates are in the chinese speech and drama enrichment class...Now I'm thinking if she is losing out on learning Mandarin.
Kiasu mentality? I don't know.
Alyssa has been falling sick so often since she started infant care. We've brought her to the PD at least 7-8 times since CNY this year. To the point that the thought of pulling her out of infant care did cross my mind. Am I doing the right thing by letting her continue? Am I doing her a greater disservice by pulling her out?
Nadya has started enrichment classes in her school. She's taking gym lessons and recently started on ballet. Now her teacher tells me more than half her classmates are in the chinese speech and drama enrichment class...Now I'm thinking if she is losing out on learning Mandarin.
Kiasu mentality? I don't know.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Work...career....job.....
I spent the last 5 years focused on my personal life - getting married, shifting out, getting my own place, having kids and making sure everything is good in their life.
Back in 2011, I had just been in the company for 4 years. Not too long, but not short either. Although HR had earmarked me under its talent management programme at that point and had identified me for a job rotation, I was not ready and declined the offer of the new position in anther division of the same organisation. At that point, I had also felt that the role offered to me was not quite suitable.
Between 2011 and now, thoughts of my career and progression did surface in my mind from time to time but I didn't think about it much. Now, with so many changes happening in the parent organisation and with a new boss, the question has surfaced again.
How long more should I stay here?
Where can I go from here?
What can I do?
Come September 2016, I would have spent 9 years in this company. That is long. Almost 2/3 of my entire working life was spent in this place.
I am not sure if I am rotting here. Part of me feels like I am. Part of me though is lazy to be confronted with new challenges and changes if I shift to another place. Part of me just wants to stay here.
My priority is my family and I am unsure if other places can accord me the flexibility and support I need when I need to head off to look after the kids.
While I am sure I can't move up the ladder much if I am still here in this company, I am half-hearted to leave as well, what with the camaraderie already built up with colleagues and external stakeholders.
Questions.
Questions.
Back in 2011, I had just been in the company for 4 years. Not too long, but not short either. Although HR had earmarked me under its talent management programme at that point and had identified me for a job rotation, I was not ready and declined the offer of the new position in anther division of the same organisation. At that point, I had also felt that the role offered to me was not quite suitable.
Between 2011 and now, thoughts of my career and progression did surface in my mind from time to time but I didn't think about it much. Now, with so many changes happening in the parent organisation and with a new boss, the question has surfaced again.
How long more should I stay here?
Where can I go from here?
What can I do?
Come September 2016, I would have spent 9 years in this company. That is long. Almost 2/3 of my entire working life was spent in this place.
I am not sure if I am rotting here. Part of me feels like I am. Part of me though is lazy to be confronted with new challenges and changes if I shift to another place. Part of me just wants to stay here.
My priority is my family and I am unsure if other places can accord me the flexibility and support I need when I need to head off to look after the kids.
While I am sure I can't move up the ladder much if I am still here in this company, I am half-hearted to leave as well, what with the camaraderie already built up with colleagues and external stakeholders.
Questions.
Questions.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Conversations with a 30-month old
We were in the car heading out for lunch with K's family. His belated birthday lunch.
Nadya: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.
Kyne: And then?
N: Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
K: And then?
N: Must put plaster.
LOL.....
==========
I called my parents one of the weekday nights and my mum happened to pick the call. I put her on speakerphone so that Nadya could join in our conversation.
Nadya was playing "masak masak" with some of her plastic cups and teapot.
N: I am "making" barley for Mama!
My mum: Wah, you know how to cook barley?
N: Ya.
My mum: Can you make some for me too? I like barley water.
N: Tomorrow you cook it yourself.
LOL....
==========
We were in a cafe. I went to take children's cutlery for her....and then I got corrected by the little girl...
Me: Here you go. I took a pink bowl for you. You like pink right?
N: Nooooo. Not bowl. This is a plate.
I swear the lady at the next table gave a knowing snigger...maybe she's a mum too lol.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Conversation piece
I was sharing a table at the kopitiam with another lady. I'd finished my meal and was waiting for the clinic to open. So with my Teh-o still hot and sitting on the table, I decided to start drawing.
The auntie asked me about it after several minutes had passed haha. She asked to see my book and I showed it to her. I showed her some of my past works as well and she seemed genuinely interested.
She said the piece I was currently working on was beautiful. Wah thanks a lot leh auntie :)
You made my day even though it is a very unfinished piece haha.
I seem to be speaking a lot to random strangers these days.....
Fate?
A week or so ago I wrote about my new cabby friends.
One of them asked me to buy his car licence plate number for 4D because he thought it was quite uncanny how we met. And how we had some things in common.
I'm happy to announce that on the Saturday evening just past, I won a consolation prize in the draw! Lol....my first 4D win ever! Although it was a mere $78, it still felt good. I'm sure he won something as well. :)
Although I promised to call him if I did win anything, I didn't. It feels a little strange to call him just to tell him that. So I will leave it to fate again. I may meet him again and only then will I inform him that I did win something! Thanks to his cab number haha....
Story of My Life
I think today is the 6th or 7th time I'm seeing a doctor.
It's only April.
And no I have not counted in the times when I went for dental or other hospital checkups.
FML.
If I include the times when I brought the 2 girls for their own checkups and PD visits, the number will probably hit 17 or 18.....
Monday, April 18, 2016
The windows to my soul
There were 2 things I absolutely hated when I was younger: seeing the dentist and seeing the optometrist.
While they followed through to my adulthood, I have learned to accept that it is inevitable that I would visit one or the other at least once in a year or two.
I went to the optical shop today. The same one I've been going to since 5-6 years ago. I had my eyes checked and sigh....the results were not so good.
My left eye went from having no astigmatism to now having 75 degrees of it.
Both eyes still have very high myopia.
Sigh. I get sad every single time I head to the optical shop. Without fail.
Sigh.
Should I?
Have I become more cynical and unfeeling?
An old woman approached me and asked for $2. She said she had dropped her wallet and needed cash for her lunch. I was quite wary, told her I had no small change and left the area.
I wasn't sure whether she was a scammer or genuinely needed money.
As I walked away I felt a mixture of guilt, confusion and cynicism.
Should I have just given her some money? Regardless of whether she was genuine or not?
I don't know. I chose to walk away and now I am burdened somewhat by these thoughts and wondering if I am a bad person.
Friday, April 15, 2016
distracted
11am 15 April 2016 Friday
distracted is when:
Dear God,
please keep my family and my loved ones safe and in good stead.... thank you.....
distracted is when:
- your husband has been coughing for 2-3 weeks
- your older girl is showing signs of a cough starting again
- your younger girl is recovering from an eye infection, still battling a cough and has now just gotten a very bad nappy rash
- your dad just went to for his heart check-up this morning and is due for his eye/glaucoma/cataract checkup soon
- you yourself are nursing a cough and a sore throat and are trying to find a chance to go see the doctor instead of self-medicating
- your mum is now at the A&E with bad giddiness, high BP and another bout of diarrhoea (which has been afflicting her on and off for the last 2-3 weeks. Just received notice from my Dad through whatsapp....
Dear God,
please keep my family and my loved ones safe and in good stead.... thank you.....
Nappy rash
Peanut has a bad nappy rash. Sigh.
The poor girl has been crying badly whenever she pees. It must be quite painful and uncomfortable for her.
Mama feels a little heart pain whenever you cry...
Hang in there sweetie.
Mr Desitin is trying his best to work his magic on your bum.....
Thursday, April 14, 2016
My New Friends
I have been very frivolous of late. I frequently take a cab to work.
Yes, I know...it is rather frivolous...and my defensive mind will churn up 1,001 reasons to justify it when questioned. =D
Anyway, I take a cab to work so frequently that I've recently made 2 friends. 2 different cabbies who have picked me up several times each. Let's call them 2654 and 9897 lol. Those are their cab license plate numbers.
Mr 2654 is with Prime Taxi and is in his 40s. He drops his daughter off at Anglican High and then starts going picking up passengers. And that's why his timing and my timing is about the same. He has a younger son in primary school. We end up chatting mostly about kids and school and education.
Mr 9897 is with Transcab and is in his 50s. He has 2 sons. The older one is completing his studies at NTU soon and the younger one is still in the army. His wife works part-time at a shop somewhere in Frankel. After he drops her off work, he then gets back to the grind of picking up passengers. His cab is only 3 months old and I've taken it about 3 times already. We called it fate and he told me to go buy his car number for 4D. Apparently the number has also been out at least 4 times in 4D results, not the actual number but a permutation of it. He told me to go buy ibet haha....
Knowing these two uncles has its perks...sometimes when the morning "on-call" traffic is busy and I can't get a cab, one of them (if they are free and still around the area) would notice that I'm still trying to get a cab. They would then take my job. Hehe...
有缘千里来相会
Sometimes fate brings interesting people and things into your life. :)
Yes, I know...it is rather frivolous...and my defensive mind will churn up 1,001 reasons to justify it when questioned. =D
Anyway, I take a cab to work so frequently that I've recently made 2 friends. 2 different cabbies who have picked me up several times each. Let's call them 2654 and 9897 lol. Those are their cab license plate numbers.
Mr 2654 is with Prime Taxi and is in his 40s. He drops his daughter off at Anglican High and then starts going picking up passengers. And that's why his timing and my timing is about the same. He has a younger son in primary school. We end up chatting mostly about kids and school and education.
Mr 9897 is with Transcab and is in his 50s. He has 2 sons. The older one is completing his studies at NTU soon and the younger one is still in the army. His wife works part-time at a shop somewhere in Frankel. After he drops her off work, he then gets back to the grind of picking up passengers. His cab is only 3 months old and I've taken it about 3 times already. We called it fate and he told me to go buy his car number for 4D. Apparently the number has also been out at least 4 times in 4D results, not the actual number but a permutation of it. He told me to go buy ibet haha....
Knowing these two uncles has its perks...sometimes when the morning "on-call" traffic is busy and I can't get a cab, one of them (if they are free and still around the area) would notice that I'm still trying to get a cab. They would then take my job. Hehe...
有缘千里来相会
Sometimes fate brings interesting people and things into your life. :)
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
mini rant post
A board member asked me something via email. I had drafted up something pretty good as a response. At least I thought it was pretty good, and it's rare that I think I can do up something good. Sent it to the boss for clearance yesterday. He amended it slightly and said I could send it out today.
This morning though, he sent me a text message to let me know that he'd already sent out the response last night.
Xian max. It was a chance for me to showcase myself to the high-ups...and now that has been taken away from me. And his email sent out was actually 90% drafted by me. Wah. Xian lor.
==========
Peanut has an eye infection. And a runny nose (yes, again...sigh) and a cough.
Sigh. Get well soon sweetie...Mama's worried about you...and Mama misses your smiles.
You didn't smile that much last night and seemed a little dazed at times too. :(
==========
Going about my days in a zombie mode. It is affecting my work a little. I need to read and re-read certain things. Especially if its is a legal or policy document.
God, grant me patience. And quality sleep.
This morning though, he sent me a text message to let me know that he'd already sent out the response last night.
Xian max. It was a chance for me to showcase myself to the high-ups...and now that has been taken away from me. And his email sent out was actually 90% drafted by me. Wah. Xian lor.
==========
Peanut has an eye infection. And a runny nose (yes, again...sigh) and a cough.
Sigh. Get well soon sweetie...Mama's worried about you...and Mama misses your smiles.
You didn't smile that much last night and seemed a little dazed at times too. :(
==========
Going about my days in a zombie mode. It is affecting my work a little. I need to read and re-read certain things. Especially if its is a legal or policy document.
God, grant me patience. And quality sleep.
Monday, April 11, 2016
11 April 2016 - Granny's 2nd Death Anniversary
Today marks the 2nd anniversary of granny's passing.
It is true I guess. Time heals and time numbs.
While the events of that night 2 years ago and the ensuing funeral arrangements remain fresh in my mind, I feel less emotional about it. Is this called coming to terms with it? Hmm. I don't know.
Yesterday, my parents, brother and I went to Holy Family Church to pay our respects to her and to say our prayers. We each took our own pews and said our own prayers silently.
This time round, Nadya and K came along as well.
I'm not sure if I was less emotional compared to last year because part of my mind was pre-occupied with Nadya. (She was abit overwhelmed in the church and was fussing a little.) Or I was less emo because time heals...
There were some changes to the church this time. The offerings counter downstairs had gone and had apparently been shifted elsewhere. The Mother Mary statue and the guppies and koi were still there though. :)
==========
As for Nadya, I don't think she understood why we were at the church though K had tried to explain to her. She was mostly overwhelmed by the number of people who were leaving after mass. She was also overwhelmed by the main glass-stained mural at the front of the main prayer hall. And I think, like how I was when I was younger, she was probably overwhelmed by the atmosphere within the church itself. It just feels different from other environments and I guess she must have felt it too.
She was silent and morose and generally fussy.
==========
In the 2 weeks leading up to today, there were weird comments coming from the little girl.
She had met her great-grandmother 2-3 times before. But I doubt she remembers my granny because she was only a few months old then. Still, there is this family portrait at my parents' place with my granny in it. Nadya recognises and understands that the old lady in the picture is her "Ah Chor" aka her great-grandmother.
There was a night 2 weeks ago when she told me she didn't want to sleep because she didn't like "the old woman". I asked her "which old woman? what old woman?" And she replied "Ah Chor".
Gave me goosebumps after that...lol.
And just on Saturday evening at my parents' place, Nadya was playing with their home phone. She picked up the receiver and pretended to be talking to someone. "Hello, how are you? (blah blah blah) Ok, good bye." My Dad asked who she was speaking to...and she replied "Ah Chor".
Goosebumps part 2! Haha...
#truestory
It is true I guess. Time heals and time numbs.
While the events of that night 2 years ago and the ensuing funeral arrangements remain fresh in my mind, I feel less emotional about it. Is this called coming to terms with it? Hmm. I don't know.
Yesterday, my parents, brother and I went to Holy Family Church to pay our respects to her and to say our prayers. We each took our own pews and said our own prayers silently.
This time round, Nadya and K came along as well.
I'm not sure if I was less emotional compared to last year because part of my mind was pre-occupied with Nadya. (She was abit overwhelmed in the church and was fussing a little.) Or I was less emo because time heals...
There were some changes to the church this time. The offerings counter downstairs had gone and had apparently been shifted elsewhere. The Mother Mary statue and the guppies and koi were still there though. :)
==========
As for Nadya, I don't think she understood why we were at the church though K had tried to explain to her. She was mostly overwhelmed by the number of people who were leaving after mass. She was also overwhelmed by the main glass-stained mural at the front of the main prayer hall. And I think, like how I was when I was younger, she was probably overwhelmed by the atmosphere within the church itself. It just feels different from other environments and I guess she must have felt it too.
She was silent and morose and generally fussy.
==========
In the 2 weeks leading up to today, there were weird comments coming from the little girl.
She had met her great-grandmother 2-3 times before. But I doubt she remembers my granny because she was only a few months old then. Still, there is this family portrait at my parents' place with my granny in it. Nadya recognises and understands that the old lady in the picture is her "Ah Chor" aka her great-grandmother.
There was a night 2 weeks ago when she told me she didn't want to sleep because she didn't like "the old woman". I asked her "which old woman? what old woman?" And she replied "Ah Chor".
Gave me goosebumps after that...lol.
And just on Saturday evening at my parents' place, Nadya was playing with their home phone. She picked up the receiver and pretended to be talking to someone. "Hello, how are you? (blah blah blah) Ok, good bye." My Dad asked who she was speaking to...and she replied "Ah Chor".
Goosebumps part 2! Haha...
#truestory
Sunday, April 10, 2016
9 April 2016 - part deux
7 years ago K and I embarked on a journey.
How time flies! We went from 2 separate souls to one conjoined unit and now we've spawned the next generation of our own. Lol.
Our journey together has had the obligatory ups and downs in any relationship. But I can't imagine going through it with anyone else!
Happy anniversary baby...:)
P/s: 是我上了贼船! Hehe...
9 April 2016
And my baby turns 2.5 years old today.
Honored to be her mum.
Humbled to be able to give my love to her.
Happy to protect her and comfort her.
Hoping that she will be healthy, happy and strong always.
While her baby days are long gone, we have learnt to appreciate her toddler-hood. While it can be rather trying at times, we are also deeply grateful for all the happy, lovely, funny, wonderful and awesome times spent with her.
She's a stubborn and fierce spirit. Yet, one with a kind and caring heart. I hope and hope again that life will be kind to her and treat her well enough.
My baby girl, here is Mama's promise to you: I will be there with you and for you always. I love you.
Thursday, April 07, 2016
The Incumbent
Too much hate, vitriol and complaints on FB these days. Why ah? Complain for the sake of complaining? Whine for the sake of whining? Jumping on the bandwagon to bash whoever is the incumbent? So much malice sometimes. Hiding behind a screen sure gives people a whole load of guts.
I come from the public sector. While I might not always agree with policies set by the G, I understand where they are coming from. You can never please the entire populace.
Sure, giving in to public sentiment and wishes will bring the G a lot more support. But generally, members of the public are not policy-makers. Most cannot see beyond a micro view. Most can't see the macro aspects of policy-making. So going with what the public suggests will probably not have a happy ending for the country.
It is a delicate balancing act. Juggling between managing the people's expectations and what should be done for the country, its progress and its sustainability.
Yet, many people don't see this. There seems to be a constant outpouring of hate against the G and a constant vigil for when a slip up might happen, which, if it really happens, would then bring about loud baying for the G's blood.
Don't be too quick to nitpick. Suddenly everyone is a politician or an economist or a policy-maker who knows what should be done for the country. Put it simply, if you're so smart, if you know what needs to be done to fix all the issues, then you do the job. If you can't even get to that position or role that makes a difference, then it might be wise to just stfu.
I deal with simple policy-making. Very simple policy development. Yet, there are still many angles to cover, many rounds of discussions and arguments to tough out, and many hours of thought put into it. Just to ensure that the policies make sense, are watertight and do not inadvertently bring any negatives to people.
I cannot imagine policy-making at a national level. The amount of thought needed is scary. And the amount of intellect needed is equally scary.
We as a people, have enjoyed many good things arising from policies and initiatives set up by the G. Maybe it is more prudent to be content and appreciate the good stuff that we have, rather than focus too much on the perceived negatives. It'll make life easier.
The 30-Month-Old Little (Big) Girl
So K told me last night: "Do you know that Nadya knows how to turn on the light?"
I told him "Yeah I know. She knows how to use the remote control to turn on the light in her room. This has been for quite some time already."
K: "Nope. She knows how to turn on the light in OUR room."
???
@_@
The lights in our room?? We don't have any remote to control the light in our room.....
Which only means that.....omg.
YUP.
She is now tall enough to tiptoe and hit the light switch.
At all of 92cm.
(and 12.7kg lol).
Oh man....why do kids grow so fast?? I miss her baby stage!!
She will be 2.5 years old in 2 days' time. How time flies really....
And oh yes, she needs a ticket on the train and bus already...a Child Concession Card...
I told him "Yeah I know. She knows how to use the remote control to turn on the light in her room. This has been for quite some time already."
K: "Nope. She knows how to turn on the light in OUR room."
???
@_@
The lights in our room?? We don't have any remote to control the light in our room.....
Which only means that.....omg.
YUP.
She is now tall enough to tiptoe and hit the light switch.
At all of 92cm.
(and 12.7kg lol).
Oh man....why do kids grow so fast?? I miss her baby stage!!
She will be 2.5 years old in 2 days' time. How time flies really....
And oh yes, she needs a ticket on the train and bus already...a Child Concession Card...
Wednesday, April 06, 2016
Whoa
It is scary really.
I am conducting a simple background check on an overseas company which is trying to establish a formal relationship with us. Yes, I double up as a PI at times and undertake some detective work.
In the course of my doing such PI work.......I've come to realise that....
It is rather scary how much information you can find of a person simply by doing a search on them on Google. You know where that person is from, where that person is based now, where that person went to school, where that person has worked at, etc. You can even find tons of pictures of them. Sometimes, you would even know whether that person is married or not, whether he/she has kids, etc.
And.....
It is interesting to see how shady some of these businesses are. Yes, they may be raking in millions....but you see them incorporating their businesses in tax-havens like Cyprus, Belize, Panama, BVI, etc. It makes you wonder if they are involved in any illicit activities or any money-laundering activities haha.
I am conducting a simple background check on an overseas company which is trying to establish a formal relationship with us. Yes, I double up as a PI at times and undertake some detective work.
In the course of my doing such PI work.......I've come to realise that....
It is rather scary how much information you can find of a person simply by doing a search on them on Google. You know where that person is from, where that person is based now, where that person went to school, where that person has worked at, etc. You can even find tons of pictures of them. Sometimes, you would even know whether that person is married or not, whether he/she has kids, etc.
And.....
It is interesting to see how shady some of these businesses are. Yes, they may be raking in millions....but you see them incorporating their businesses in tax-havens like Cyprus, Belize, Panama, BVI, etc. It makes you wonder if they are involved in any illicit activities or any money-laundering activities haha.
Tuesday, April 05, 2016
Bloated tummy
Bloated tummy these 2 days.
No idea how to relieve it...quite uncomfortable sigh.
I look 4 mths pregnant. 5mths pregnant if I just had a meal.
True story.
Mega wail.
:((((
Monday, April 04, 2016
Achievement Unlocked!!
Nadya can button up her uniform dress already!
Way to go little baby!!
Mama is proud of you!!
😝🤓😆😘😍😃😉☺️😏😛
Zentangle
Here is a Zentangle piece...not sure if it can be considered a Zentangle mandala though. But really, the process of drawing these is rather therapeutic...:) the photo does it no justice lol...and I'm not a good photographer too. The piece looks better than it does in the "chui" pic below lol.....
Embarking on another piece tomorrow. Not sure when I will complete it though....
The End of My Breastfeeding Journey
And so...my breastfeeding journey is coming to an end.
Both intentionally and unintentionally.
Intentionally because I was already planning to do so. I had given myself the goal of reaching Alyssa's 6 month mark. She turned 6 months on 24 March...and we just started her on cereal.
Unintentionally because I had not planned for it to end in such an un-ceremonius manner.
Last week's sickness was a tough one and totally knocked my supply off balance. I had intended to slowly let my supply wane off on its own. Last week's bout of sickness zapped off my supply quite suddenly. I think the medication I was on was the cause of it.
I am only pumping like once a day now just to relieve myself a little and still, the quantity is only somewhere around 80 or 100ml. I am pumping and throwing it away too because I don't want to pass on whatever medication I am taking on to Alyssa.
So whatever stash I still have in the freezer will be my last few bags of mummy's milk for the little girl...
Although I wanted to wean her off at 6 months.....I don't know why but I feel a little sad also...
I feel like as if a thick string of our bond is being cut away....:(
Both intentionally and unintentionally.
Intentionally because I was already planning to do so. I had given myself the goal of reaching Alyssa's 6 month mark. She turned 6 months on 24 March...and we just started her on cereal.
Unintentionally because I had not planned for it to end in such an un-ceremonius manner.
Last week's sickness was a tough one and totally knocked my supply off balance. I had intended to slowly let my supply wane off on its own. Last week's bout of sickness zapped off my supply quite suddenly. I think the medication I was on was the cause of it.
I am only pumping like once a day now just to relieve myself a little and still, the quantity is only somewhere around 80 or 100ml. I am pumping and throwing it away too because I don't want to pass on whatever medication I am taking on to Alyssa.
So whatever stash I still have in the freezer will be my last few bags of mummy's milk for the little girl...
Although I wanted to wean her off at 6 months.....I don't know why but I feel a little sad also...
I feel like as if a thick string of our bond is being cut away....:(
Sunday, April 03, 2016
Tonsilitis
Friday night was scary.
My fever went up again as for the first time in my life I started shivering, uncontrollably. K said I had the chills and that it was common for someone with a fever.
I'd never experienced it before and naturally felt quite concerned.
I was in a Tshirt and cardi and long harem pants and socks. I was huddled under a blanket in bed, without any fan or aircon switched on, without my aide of the window open, and still I shivered.
It lasted a good 30mins or so.
And then slowly, around 2hrs later, I warmed up and started sweating profusely. Tore off all my long clothes before I felt better.
Glad to say the fever is gone. And the tonsillitis is much much better.
I hope the year ahead gets better for me in terms of health....
Saturday, April 02, 2016
Conversations with a 29.5-month-old
We were in her room this morning.
N: Mama, I show you how to climb (onto) the bed ok?
Me: Ok, show me.
N: First, you put your hands here and then your tummy here and then you lift your legs up!
Me: Wow, that seems tough Nadya's. It looks difficult.
N: Nevermind darling. You can try next time when you grow up ok.
Tio suan again by her. -_-''
I swear she's sounding more and more like us...and the way we speak....
==========
The other day while playing with her rubber hair bands...
N: You take the pink one. The blue one is for Dada.
Me: Why must I take the pink one?
N: Because you are a girl.
Me: Oh ok.....
And so generalisation and stereotyping comes into play that early in age? From where did she learn this? School? Peers? Definitely not from K or myself....
N: Mama, I show you how to climb (onto) the bed ok?
Me: Ok, show me.
N: First, you put your hands here and then your tummy here and then you lift your legs up!
Me: Wow, that seems tough Nadya's. It looks difficult.
N: Nevermind darling. You can try next time when you grow up ok.
Tio suan again by her. -_-''
I swear she's sounding more and more like us...and the way we speak....
==========
The other day while playing with her rubber hair bands...
N: You take the pink one. The blue one is for Dada.
Me: Why must I take the pink one?
N: Because you are a girl.
Me: Oh ok.....
And so generalisation and stereotyping comes into play that early in age? From where did she learn this? School? Peers? Definitely not from K or myself....
==========
She had a nose bleed the other night. In the middle of the night actually. When we woke in the morning, she said "I bleed-ed."
While the word should be "bled", I am surprised she understands the concept of "past tense". We never consciously taught her that so I'm kinda happy she's smart enough to pick it up on her own. I guess it helps that we all try to speak proper English to her.
Thursday, March 31, 2016
Mandala time again
A mandala that was done 2 weeks ago.
One that was completed today, under eh influence of Panadol, antibiotics, Zyrtec and cough mixture lol...not too bad actually. The drug-Influenced mandala turned out quite nice I think haha. Nicer than the one above :)
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
Sick :(
Down again. Managed to hold out longer than I expected since I started work though.
Fever, tonsillitis, slight cough and slight flu.
Doc saw me earlier tonight and put me on antibiotics straightaway. Coupled with 2 days mc and an instruction to take lots of rest and water.
Yes doc I will try to rest more...
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Sunday, March 27, 2016
For posterity
How this mother of two looks like in March 2016.
We'll see if there are more wrinkles or age spots in a year's time? Lol....
Yummy yummy
Little baby had a culinary adventure yesterday evening. My brother gave the family a treat at Tung Lok signatures because of his birthday and recent promotion at work.
When I saw the menu I commented that she wouldn't take the first 3 dishes but I was so wrong. She tried each and wanted more! Maybe it helped that she was hungry too. :)
She had Peking duck skin and the wrap that came along with it. She had lobster for the first time! And wanted more...in fact, she had half of my piece....
She had her first taste of fresh fish maw as well. And soon hock fish in a green chili broth.
I was surprised she managed quite a few mouthfuls of the fish and its accompanying mushrooms and black fungus! They were a little spicy due to the green chili broth but she took them in good stride, coupled with many mouthfuls of water and soup haha. She did better than her 13-yr old cousin who only did a mouthful of fish and refused more.
She had her first taste of tau huay too! And coconut ice-cream!
It was really an interesting night for her and I'm proud that she was so adventurous last night. :D
Way to go Little Baby!
Blankies
This is the 2nd Aden and Anais blanket we've lost.
The first time the school lost it during Nadya's infant care time. I was pissed off because it was probably put into another baby's bag and the parents didn't bother to return it. How else would a big blanket disappear?
The second one was lost last evening through our own carelessness, under the eyes of 3 adults. While we were out in a mall. Either we are all seriously lacking sleep or we are all just too complacent and unaware of our things.
I'm upset mainly because the blankets material is really very good and I'm particularly fond of that piece of blanket. Though it's just a plain white blanket, it's very beauty is in its simplicity and plain-ness.
Sigh...
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Alyssa @ 6 months
"Standing" at 66cm and weighing in at 7kg.
Language
She's making many noises which is a good thing. She is a rather "squealy" baby haha. She squeals much more than Nadya ever did. She gurgles quite abit these days as well...and gives little baby sighs that are oh-so-adorable...
Social Interactions
She is slowly recognising people these days I think. She is quicker with her smiles when someone she knows is interacting with her. And I believe she already looks up to her older sister. Whenever Nadya is around, she would be staring at Nadya and watching intently whatever Nadya is doing.
Emotional Control
Erm, little to say here for a 6-month-old. She is a very happy baby compared to when Nadya was her age. She is quick with her smiles and goofy grins. There are times when she raises her brows in a comical way and other times when she breaks into such a happy grin that her entire face scrunches up. Stay happy little sunshine!
Food
It's a trickier affair with Alyssa. She's a breastfed baby, till now. I only managed to breastfeed Nadya for 1.5 months last time. Alyssa has so far gone from 100% breastmilk to a 80-20 arrangement then a 50-50 arrangement and now she's doing 20-30% breastmilk each day with the rest being formula. Why so? Because I was aiming to wean her off at or around 6 months old. Well she's 6 months old now and my supply still hasn't diminished fully so I guess she will still be on the 20% BM and 80% FM arrangement for awhile longer...
I will be starting her on solids either today or tomorrow. :) I look forward to seeing her reaction actually. Because she has been showing interest in our food for several weeks already. :) She stares and licks her lips when I eat in front of her haha...
Language
She's making many noises which is a good thing. She is a rather "squealy" baby haha. She squeals much more than Nadya ever did. She gurgles quite abit these days as well...and gives little baby sighs that are oh-so-adorable...
Social Interactions
She is slowly recognising people these days I think. She is quicker with her smiles when someone she knows is interacting with her. And I believe she already looks up to her older sister. Whenever Nadya is around, she would be staring at Nadya and watching intently whatever Nadya is doing.
Emotional Control
Erm, little to say here for a 6-month-old. She is a very happy baby compared to when Nadya was her age. She is quick with her smiles and goofy grins. There are times when she raises her brows in a comical way and other times when she breaks into such a happy grin that her entire face scrunches up. Stay happy little sunshine!
Food
It's a trickier affair with Alyssa. She's a breastfed baby, till now. I only managed to breastfeed Nadya for 1.5 months last time. Alyssa has so far gone from 100% breastmilk to a 80-20 arrangement then a 50-50 arrangement and now she's doing 20-30% breastmilk each day with the rest being formula. Why so? Because I was aiming to wean her off at or around 6 months old. Well she's 6 months old now and my supply still hasn't diminished fully so I guess she will still be on the 20% BM and 80% FM arrangement for awhile longer...
I will be starting her on solids either today or tomorrow. :) I look forward to seeing her reaction actually. Because she has been showing interest in our food for several weeks already. :) She stares and licks her lips when I eat in front of her haha...
Nadya @ 2.5 years
Standing tall at 86 or 87cm. Weighing in at 12.5kg thereabouts.
LANGUAGE
She's pretty alright with English I think. Her speech is good although not grammatically correct. And she's picked up on Singlish too so we will need to correct that (and ourselves too.....). These days she rambles on and on about various things.
Her Mandarin's rather weak though. And whatever words she knows either comes out mispronounced, phonetically inaccurate or just sounds like as if it's a Caucasian speaking it lol. More work to be done in this aspect. She gets stunned sometimes when I speak a full sentence to her in Mandarin. When she recovers and has deciphered what I was saying, she would then respond to me in English. Bah, not good.
MEMORY
Excellent. What can I say. She remembers things from eons ago. And after several times of reading a storybook to her, she is now finishing up the last 1-2 words of each sentence in the book.
SOCIAL INTERACTIONS
I detect abit of myself in her. Shy and withdrawn at times, preferring to stand by the side to watch and observe rather than being in the thick of things. There are times when she just stares wide-eyed at someone who is trying to be nice to her...and then either scampers off or hides behind me. Yet at other times with people she is familiar with, she would be loud and boisterous and downright bossy. Think "MAMA! STAND HERE!" "DADA, SIT THERE!" type of bossiness.
I'm glad to see her having friends in school and being comfortable with them. Where some teachers lack in warmth and fun, I think having good friends in school bridge that gap...:)
And oh yes, she is slowly accepting Alyssa into her life...she will make time to give Alyssa some pats or try to play with her. Although half the time she gets frustrated because Alyssa either can't comply with her instructions or will just give her a goofy smile or a blank stare hahhha.
EMOTIONAL CONTROL
Working on this. Getting her to calm down and regroup her senses when she is in a tantrum. She is getting it slowly. I think. She understands when I tell her to "settle down first and then we'll talk" or "take a deep breath and settle down"...I can see her trying to calm herself down and even taking a deep breath when I do it with her.
But oh well, she's still a 2 and a half year old. Tantrums are probably her forte at this stage in life lol...
FOOD
She loves her Ribena, barley water and other cool drinks. She loves her mushrooms, of any sort. She loves her tofu, be it white or egg, tau kwa or tau puay. She loves her fishballs and fishcake. For a long period of time she refused to eat chicken or fish or pork at home. I'm happy to note she has starting eating chicken and minced meat at home now...I think the trick to chicken is that I don't tell her I am feeding it to her....haha.
She has tasted curries but still doesn't have a much of an affinity to them. She will get all red and teary-eyed before asking for water haha. :)
TOILET TRAINING
She knows how to tell us that she needs to poo and will do so on the toilet bowl. Peeing is a different creature to tackle altogether. She doesn't tell us that she wants to pee and will still do it in her diaper. or in the shower when she is about to bathe....Not quite sure how to "train" her up in this also haha. Guess we will just wing it....at the most...wash more shorts and bedsheets and blankets, wipe more floors, etc.....
LANGUAGE
She's pretty alright with English I think. Her speech is good although not grammatically correct. And she's picked up on Singlish too so we will need to correct that (and ourselves too.....). These days she rambles on and on about various things.
Her Mandarin's rather weak though. And whatever words she knows either comes out mispronounced, phonetically inaccurate or just sounds like as if it's a Caucasian speaking it lol. More work to be done in this aspect. She gets stunned sometimes when I speak a full sentence to her in Mandarin. When she recovers and has deciphered what I was saying, she would then respond to me in English. Bah, not good.
MEMORY
Excellent. What can I say. She remembers things from eons ago. And after several times of reading a storybook to her, she is now finishing up the last 1-2 words of each sentence in the book.
SOCIAL INTERACTIONS
I detect abit of myself in her. Shy and withdrawn at times, preferring to stand by the side to watch and observe rather than being in the thick of things. There are times when she just stares wide-eyed at someone who is trying to be nice to her...and then either scampers off or hides behind me. Yet at other times with people she is familiar with, she would be loud and boisterous and downright bossy. Think "MAMA! STAND HERE!" "DADA, SIT THERE!" type of bossiness.
I'm glad to see her having friends in school and being comfortable with them. Where some teachers lack in warmth and fun, I think having good friends in school bridge that gap...:)
And oh yes, she is slowly accepting Alyssa into her life...she will make time to give Alyssa some pats or try to play with her. Although half the time she gets frustrated because Alyssa either can't comply with her instructions or will just give her a goofy smile or a blank stare hahhha.
EMOTIONAL CONTROL
Working on this. Getting her to calm down and regroup her senses when she is in a tantrum. She is getting it slowly. I think. She understands when I tell her to "settle down first and then we'll talk" or "take a deep breath and settle down"...I can see her trying to calm herself down and even taking a deep breath when I do it with her.
But oh well, she's still a 2 and a half year old. Tantrums are probably her forte at this stage in life lol...
FOOD
She loves her Ribena, barley water and other cool drinks. She loves her mushrooms, of any sort. She loves her tofu, be it white or egg, tau kwa or tau puay. She loves her fishballs and fishcake. For a long period of time she refused to eat chicken or fish or pork at home. I'm happy to note she has starting eating chicken and minced meat at home now...I think the trick to chicken is that I don't tell her I am feeding it to her....haha.
She has tasted curries but still doesn't have a much of an affinity to them. She will get all red and teary-eyed before asking for water haha. :)
TOILET TRAINING
She knows how to tell us that she needs to poo and will do so on the toilet bowl. Peeing is a different creature to tackle altogether. She doesn't tell us that she wants to pee and will still do it in her diaper. or in the shower when she is about to bathe....Not quite sure how to "train" her up in this also haha. Guess we will just wing it....at the most...wash more shorts and bedsheets and blankets, wipe more floors, etc.....
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Come on, Chin up!
4.5hours of sleep.
With a 20 or 30-minute interruption somewhere in between.
It's 330pm now in office.
I'm gradually nodding off already.
Jialat. :(
With a 20 or 30-minute interruption somewhere in between.
It's 330pm now in office.
I'm gradually nodding off already.
Jialat. :(
conflicted
Many many many things to do in office.
But I can't do them properly. Half of my mind is on Peanut.
Wondering how she is, and if she is drinking her milk well, and if she is getting enough sleep, and whether she poo-ed or not, and whether she is still smiling.
I miss my sunshine baby. Alot.
F this working mother shit. Argh.
But I can't do them properly. Half of my mind is on Peanut.
Wondering how she is, and if she is drinking her milk well, and if she is getting enough sleep, and whether she poo-ed or not, and whether she is still smiling.
I miss my sunshine baby. Alot.
F this working mother shit. Argh.
Sunday, March 20, 2016
The Man Cooked!
On the Wed just past, K was on leave. He whipped up a simple but delicious meal for me for dinner.
I requested for brussel sprouts and soba. He is a sucker for fish and made rice for himself. Hence the eclectic mix of dishes for our meal lol.
P/s: the garlic and lime sauce accompanying the steamed sea bass was very good!
Thursday, March 17, 2016
The Sisters
We've come a long way...
From being curious about her baby sister, to being a little bit protective, Nadya then swung to the other end of the spectrum when she realised that people were paying abit more attention to the "cute little baby" than her. There came a point several months back when Nadya didn't allow me to carry Alyssa at all and would melt into a crying fussing mess at my feet if I did so.
Fast forward to now...things are better. Nadya still has her jealous fits from time to time. But we let her participate in the caring of Alyssa (like helping to throw Alyssa's diapers into the dustbin haha). She does "sayang" Alyssa now by patting her head or body or arms. She holds her tiny hands too. Sometimes she gives Alyssa hugs or she ruffles her hair. Sometimes she uses her face to nuzzle Alyssa.
And last night...she lay down next to Alyssa. It was such a sweet sight to see.
From being curious about her baby sister, to being a little bit protective, Nadya then swung to the other end of the spectrum when she realised that people were paying abit more attention to the "cute little baby" than her. There came a point several months back when Nadya didn't allow me to carry Alyssa at all and would melt into a crying fussing mess at my feet if I did so.
Fast forward to now...things are better. Nadya still has her jealous fits from time to time. But we let her participate in the caring of Alyssa (like helping to throw Alyssa's diapers into the dustbin haha). She does "sayang" Alyssa now by patting her head or body or arms. She holds her tiny hands too. Sometimes she gives Alyssa hugs or she ruffles her hair. Sometimes she uses her face to nuzzle Alyssa.
And last night...she lay down next to Alyssa. It was such a sweet sight to see.
Monday, March 14, 2016
Blessed
I am blessed.
With good friends and family.
And of course K and my 2 girls.
Couldn't have asked for more.
My friends might not know it but they do help keep me sane. And they throw me invisible lifelines when I reach out to them. Sometimes, they throw me lifebuoys too even when I don't outrightly ask for it. And they are there to help me out always....even if I may not realise it myself that I need some assistance in life....
My family brings me joy in more ways than one. And well...I feel odd if I don't contact my parents for more than 2 days....
K and the 2 girls? They drive me nuts sometimes...I get angry and frustrated....But at the end of the day, they bring me the greatest joy too...:) And the greatest love....
With good friends and family.
And of course K and my 2 girls.
Couldn't have asked for more.
My friends might not know it but they do help keep me sane. And they throw me invisible lifelines when I reach out to them. Sometimes, they throw me lifebuoys too even when I don't outrightly ask for it. And they are there to help me out always....even if I may not realise it myself that I need some assistance in life....
My family brings me joy in more ways than one. And well...I feel odd if I don't contact my parents for more than 2 days....
K and the 2 girls? They drive me nuts sometimes...I get angry and frustrated....But at the end of the day, they bring me the greatest joy too...:) And the greatest love....
Mandala - the lotus
Did this on Friday 11 March 2016.
Did part of it while having a break during work and eventually completed it after work.
I don't use a compass which explains why certain parts of the mandala look a little lopsided.
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Driving
Went for a car orientation cum refresher today. Who was the instructor? K. :)
Nail-biting experience. I was pretty nervous. The last I ever drove was 6 years ago and even at that point I'd only ever driven a manual car and only for a few measly times.
Fast forward to today. Ok I discovered that an auto car makes for much easier driving. Yes I know I am suaku.
More orientation and refresher sessions coming up...
P/s: I still can't park properly for nuts.
Friday, March 11, 2016
The ring!
Somehow, I managed to wear my wedding band. It's a little difficult to take out though. But I'm happy to wear it still.
Been more than 3 years since I last managed to wear it. Omg. Lol. Since I became pregnant with Nadya.
sigh
Feeling a little imbalanced, especially the last few days.
While at work I think about the 2 kiddos. While with them sometimes my mind wanders to work-related things.
I feel inadequate in both areas. Like I'm doing a disservice to both aspects. Not performing up to par in both aspects.
Need to find a balance somehow....
How?
While at work I think about the 2 kiddos. While with them sometimes my mind wanders to work-related things.
I feel inadequate in both areas. Like I'm doing a disservice to both aspects. Not performing up to par in both aspects.
Need to find a balance somehow....
How?
Another mandala!
Another mandala that I did today. I think with my preference for symmetry, mandalas prolly suit me more than doing zentangle designs. Anyway I shall continue to explore.....
Today's mandala turned out a lot more detailed and complex than I expected it to be. Required a lot more effort than yesterday's mandala for sure.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Qoo10
I love qoo10. Have I said it before?? I absolutely love qoo10.
It sells just about anything lol.
I was looking for a Sakura Pigma ink Micron pen and wondered where the hell to buy it. Popular seemed so far away.
Online I went and someone was selling it on qoo10.
I bought a black pen with a 0.35mm nib and another with a 0.45mm nib.
Oh I love qoo10!! :))
P/s: when the pens arrive...I'll do more entangling and drawing of mandalas hehe...quite fun and therapeutic! Plus the notebook I am doing the drawings in is small and extremely portable.
Wednesday, March 09, 2016
Voila
Promised myself I'd draw a zentangle mandala and here it is. Drawn on an A5-sized piece of paper. Better piece than the first zentangle tile but could still be improved. :)
My designs are rather simplistic. Will explore further...hmm...this is turning out to be pretty interesting!
Zentangle
Something new I discovered.
A type of drawing philosophy which aims to be therapeutic. A drawing meditation of sorts.
I did a test zentangle piece in office today. Finished it up in during short breaks I took.
It's a horrible effort I think lol. A 3.5inch by 3.5inch piece. Rather raw and not sophisticated like those I saw online or on YouTube tutorials.
But it's a start. :) I'll try to do zentangle mandalas tomorrow.
P/s: yes I know...my interests can be rather fleeting at times. My colouring book is still sitting in its corner waiting for me to pick it up again...no time leh...:(
My two loves
Times like this bring me much warmth, love and indescribable happiness.
My two babies...may you grow up and be inseparable as sisters. May the love and care you have for each other be strong and tight. May the bond you develop be as deep as the deepest ocean. And may God bless the both of you always.
Monday, March 07, 2016
So in love with this little girl
I feel more attached to Alyssa at this age than I was with Nadya when she was also 5 months old.
Not sure why. Maybe it is because I breastfed Alyssa longer compared to Nadya. Maybe it is because I don't get to spend as much time with her as I would like because I have a sticky Nadya vying for my attention.
Oh well.
Stay happy and stay smiley always my little sunshine baby.
Mama loves you!
6 March 2016 - First Trip to the Salon!
At 29 months old, Nadya had her first ever haircut at a salon.
Her pouty, upset and apprehensive face....
Still apprehensive....
Ok, loosening up...small smile spotted!
Yes, I was always the one giving her trims and cuts all these while...sometimes she looked ok, most times her hair was just an unruly mess. Partly it was also due to her having some natural curls....
I didn't know how to cut her hair anymore and brought her to the salon. I started prepping her the day before, telling her that she was a big girl already and could go to the salon at the shopping center to cut her hair.
She was excited about the trip tot eh salon actually. Right up till about 5mins before her turn came. She started fussing and kept mumbling "mama cut my hair. I want mama cut my hair. Mama cut my hair in the toilet."
When it was her turn and I brought her to the chair, she clung to me like a koala bear and in the end I had to sit with her.
Still, I'd say she did well. :) Not sure if the salon's iPad showing cartoons, or me sitting with her, or the nice auntie did the trick. Maybe it was a combination of all three. She calmed down enough after a few minutes and could muster a small smile for her daddy who was trying to take pictures. :)
She was proud of it after the cut and didn't allow me to touch her hair much lol.
After the cut. Ok I know it looks almost the same except for a shorter fringe. But well, the lady thinned her hair quite abit and it was much easier washing her hair after the cut.
2 March 2016
Welcome to the family Mr Legacy. :)
It has been several days and I hope you've gotten acquainted with the rest of the family well enough.
I'm sorry if Nadya has already given you a few of her power kicks. She gets this way when worked up. Sorry about that!
I've not been in your driver's seat yet. But I shall endeavor to treat you well okie? I hope you treat me well too.
Wednesday, March 02, 2016
Teary Morning...Heavy Heart
Nadya was extremely sticky today. Refused to get in the car in the morning to go to school. Spent 20mins coaxing her into the car. When we reached school, she clung to me like a koala and when her form teacher took her away from me. She burst into tears immediately and tried to reach out to me....Her face was red, tears and snot were flowing within 10-15 seconds of me handing her over to the teacher.
I said a hurried "Bye sayang, love you." And left quickly to minimise anymore crying on her part.
If she doesn't see me, I think she would stop crying and be distratced by other things and her friends in class, right? Right?
Sigh. :(
Now I understand what my mum said when she had to fetch my brother to my grandmother's house last time in the mornings before work.
It really affects your day when your kid acts up in the morning. You feel uneasy and hope that she is ok. Your mind tries to focus on work but at the back of your mind you keep wondering how she is doing.
Maybe I'll give the school a ring later...
I said a hurried "Bye sayang, love you." And left quickly to minimise anymore crying on her part.
If she doesn't see me, I think she would stop crying and be distratced by other things and her friends in class, right? Right?
Sigh. :(
Now I understand what my mum said when she had to fetch my brother to my grandmother's house last time in the mornings before work.
It really affects your day when your kid acts up in the morning. You feel uneasy and hope that she is ok. Your mind tries to focus on work but at the back of your mind you keep wondering how she is doing.
Maybe I'll give the school a ring later...
Tuesday, March 01, 2016
Thoughts
Bracing myself for what could be a challenging year ahead.
Mentally. Emotionally. Physically.
Work. Family. Self. Finances.
Family. I worry almost constantly about the younger girl these days.
The older one is doing good now and developing well so that's good.
The parents are getting significantly older, especially my father. There is talk again between my mother and I, about how to handle their property. Namely, whether or not should they keep it and if they do sell it, should they downgrade to a smaller flat or co-own another dual-key unit with one of us two siblings.
Work. I need to close up a damn project that's been around since 2012.
I need to start up 2 other projects as well. Not quite sure how to start these at all.
New boss is in and expectations and working style is all different. Need to get used to him. I think this is a positive thing. New boss, new insights, new directions, more improvements. Fresh pair of eyes to look at things and suggest changes.
Self. I have not exercised much. I have not used my new pair of running shoes though I bought them 2-3 months ago. I have not fulfilled my promise to K.
I need to keep myself calm as well. Keep my down times minimal.
I need to let go more as well perhaps. Find a direction. Somewhere. Somehow.
Need to grow.
Finances. Save save save.
Grow whatever I have. For myself, for the family, for the kids.
Plan things well. Manage things better. Learn and read up about things.
Evidently I can't concentrate at work. I am typing this out while attempting to draft out an important email. A lot of thought needs to go into that email and I can't seem to focus on it.
Jiayou.
Jiayou.
Mentally. Emotionally. Physically.
Work. Family. Self. Finances.
Family. I worry almost constantly about the younger girl these days.
The older one is doing good now and developing well so that's good.
The parents are getting significantly older, especially my father. There is talk again between my mother and I, about how to handle their property. Namely, whether or not should they keep it and if they do sell it, should they downgrade to a smaller flat or co-own another dual-key unit with one of us two siblings.
Work. I need to close up a damn project that's been around since 2012.
I need to start up 2 other projects as well. Not quite sure how to start these at all.
New boss is in and expectations and working style is all different. Need to get used to him. I think this is a positive thing. New boss, new insights, new directions, more improvements. Fresh pair of eyes to look at things and suggest changes.
Self. I have not exercised much. I have not used my new pair of running shoes though I bought them 2-3 months ago. I have not fulfilled my promise to K.
I need to keep myself calm as well. Keep my down times minimal.
I need to let go more as well perhaps. Find a direction. Somewhere. Somehow.
Need to grow.
Finances. Save save save.
Grow whatever I have. For myself, for the family, for the kids.
Plan things well. Manage things better. Learn and read up about things.
Evidently I can't concentrate at work. I am typing this out while attempting to draft out an important email. A lot of thought needs to go into that email and I can't seem to focus on it.
Jiayou.
Jiayou.
Typical Morning
It was a rushed morning as usual. Things went pretty okay. Nadya didn't fuss when my FIL put her in the car. Nor did she fuss during the journey. Alyssa was good too and was pretty much just being a smiley baby.
But when the lift door opened on the floor of their school, Nadya started fussing. Got a little messy here because the inlaws got abit jittery too haha.
MIL brought Alyssa to the infant care side and FIL and I brought Nadya to the nursery class area. She allowed him to bring her in so I thought I was not needed anymore and went over to the infant side to give Alyssa a goodbye kiss.
When I turned back to leave the infant care side and make my way to office, FIL was there waiting for me again. With Nadya in his arms.
She had apparently wanted to look for me and only wanted me to carry her.
And so back to the nursery class it was for me. Had to carry Nadya back there again before she finally could settle down and go romp around with her classmates....she was still somewhat reluctant to let go of me though...and said bye to me with big round pleading eyes.
Sigh. Hard to wave goodbye to such a face...:(
Jiayou mummy....
But when the lift door opened on the floor of their school, Nadya started fussing. Got a little messy here because the inlaws got abit jittery too haha.
MIL brought Alyssa to the infant care side and FIL and I brought Nadya to the nursery class area. She allowed him to bring her in so I thought I was not needed anymore and went over to the infant side to give Alyssa a goodbye kiss.
When I turned back to leave the infant care side and make my way to office, FIL was there waiting for me again. With Nadya in his arms.
She had apparently wanted to look for me and only wanted me to carry her.
And so back to the nursery class it was for me. Had to carry Nadya back there again before she finally could settle down and go romp around with her classmates....she was still somewhat reluctant to let go of me though...and said bye to me with big round pleading eyes.
Sigh. Hard to wave goodbye to such a face...:(
Jiayou mummy....
Monday, February 29, 2016
Keep well my nose...
The nose is stuffed. Sometimes it leaks. Not good.
I hope it clears up within these few days based on whatever medication I have on hand.
No...I don't want to see the doc again....:(
I seem to be down every week...
Now, where do I go collecting more mana to boost my life force? ...Haha....
I hope it clears up within these few days based on whatever medication I have on hand.
No...I don't want to see the doc again....:(
I seem to be down every week...
Now, where do I go collecting more mana to boost my life force? ...Haha....
人比人，气死人
So sometimes I wonder why I subject myself to comparisons.
It can serve as a simple motivational tool.
But lose track of things and then it becomes something that perpetuates envy and/or jealousy.
Not healthy.
Reminder to self again that I shouldn't compare too much.
I've gotten better at this over the years but I do need to remind myself from time to time still.
It can serve as a simple motivational tool.
But lose track of things and then it becomes something that perpetuates envy and/or jealousy.
Not healthy.
Reminder to self again that I shouldn't compare too much.
I've gotten better at this over the years but I do need to remind myself from time to time still.
Friday, February 26, 2016
What Are The Odds?
I've taken many taxis, whether flagged down or booked.
And I have never come across such coincidence. :)
I booked a cab last Friday evening to ferry me from MBC to Kembangan. And I picked up K along the way at Robinson Road. It turned out to be a Transcab lady driver (Auntie Lim) who was rather chatty with me. She zipped up when K boarded the cab though haha.
This morning, exactly a week later, I booked a cab to ferry me to work and voila, it was her again. I had thought the cab's licence plate number was quite familiar but it didn't occur to me till I got on the cab and saw her.
Fated.
She had taken a booking somewhere near Bedok but when she arrived at the location, apparently the person who made the booking did a no-show. When she tried to contact that person, that person rejected her calls. And so, she had no choice but to leave and hope for another booking.....And yes, I was that next booking which came along haha.
真的是有缘。
Thanks Auntie Lim for the entertaining ride. :)
Now I not only know that you are living in Jurong, but that you are a huge animal lover.
And I have never come across such coincidence. :)
I booked a cab last Friday evening to ferry me from MBC to Kembangan. And I picked up K along the way at Robinson Road. It turned out to be a Transcab lady driver (Auntie Lim) who was rather chatty with me. She zipped up when K boarded the cab though haha.
This morning, exactly a week later, I booked a cab to ferry me to work and voila, it was her again. I had thought the cab's licence plate number was quite familiar but it didn't occur to me till I got on the cab and saw her.
Fated.
She had taken a booking somewhere near Bedok but when she arrived at the location, apparently the person who made the booking did a no-show. When she tried to contact that person, that person rejected her calls. And so, she had no choice but to leave and hope for another booking.....And yes, I was that next booking which came along haha.
真的是有缘。
Thanks Auntie Lim for the entertaining ride. :)
Now I not only know that you are living in Jurong, but that you are a huge animal lover.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Oh....My...Lips!!
I had some chicken curry for dinner last night.
And my lip eczema decided to flare up after that. Parts of my lips were itching last night. And when I woke this morning, my lips were rather red and blotchy at the areas which were itchy. I don't have a lip line anymore at those areas. More like a blurring between the lip and my facial skin.
Bah....
I don't like it when this happens. Because I feel conscious when I talk to people and they start staring at my lips lol.
I hope it goes away soon!!
p/s: But I'm thankful I don't have sausage lips like how some who have lip eczema end up getting...hehe.
And my lip eczema decided to flare up after that. Parts of my lips were itching last night. And when I woke this morning, my lips were rather red and blotchy at the areas which were itchy. I don't have a lip line anymore at those areas. More like a blurring between the lip and my facial skin.
Bah....
I don't like it when this happens. Because I feel conscious when I talk to people and they start staring at my lips lol.
I hope it goes away soon!!
p/s: But I'm thankful I don't have sausage lips like how some who have lip eczema end up getting...hehe.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Peanut.....
I am missing Peanut a lot. ALOT.
I spent almost 5 full months with her. I saw her everyday and spent hours with her each weekday. Now I can only see her briefly in the morning and then for a short while in the evening before Little Baby comes home and tries to monopolise me.
The guilt is there.
The mind is in the office but the heart is with the little ones.
I salute all working mothers.
Clearly, I have not gotten used to going back to work yet.
:(
I spent almost 5 full months with her. I saw her everyday and spent hours with her each weekday. Now I can only see her briefly in the morning and then for a short while in the evening before Little Baby comes home and tries to monopolise me.
The guilt is there.
The mind is in the office but the heart is with the little ones.
I salute all working mothers.
Clearly, I have not gotten used to going back to work yet.
:(
The Brother
Adrian just got promoted to General Manager of Events at his organisation.
Happy for him...:) I do hope the additional workload and responsibilities won't swarm him.
He's doing well for himself and thriving. Even more so after he officially joined the Catholic faith.
Kinda glad he did not take up that job offer from our uncle all those years ago. I doubt he would have been happy in that company.
Am I doing well in my life? I don't know.
Good in some aspects, mediocre in others.
Overall ok I guess. :)
Happy for him...:) I do hope the additional workload and responsibilities won't swarm him.
He's doing well for himself and thriving. Even more so after he officially joined the Catholic faith.
Kinda glad he did not take up that job offer from our uncle all those years ago. I doubt he would have been happy in that company.
Am I doing well in my life? I don't know.
Good in some aspects, mediocre in others.
Overall ok I guess. :)
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Chiropractic Issues
There was a free spine screening session by a chiropractor in the office today. I went for it and received some depressing news.
My scan showed a stress score of 1,293. In comparison, my colleague had a reading of 300-plus. FML.
So apparently I have horrible neck posture and I have super duper high tension and tense muscles in the neck and shoulder areas. To top it off, my lower back is apparently rather weak. Besides the electronic scan reading, he told me all these by just holding my back and asking me to do some simple bending positions.
The doctor told me to go book a chiro session with them to fix my issues.
Sigh.
:(
My scan showed a stress score of 1,293. In comparison, my colleague had a reading of 300-plus. FML.
So apparently I have horrible neck posture and I have super duper high tension and tense muscles in the neck and shoulder areas. To top it off, my lower back is apparently rather weak. Besides the electronic scan reading, he told me all these by just holding my back and asking me to do some simple bending positions.
The doctor told me to go book a chiro session with them to fix my issues.
Sigh.
:(
Tears
"A drop of clear saline fluid secreted by the lacrimal gland and diffused between the eye and eyelids to moisten the parts and facilitate their motion."
- Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
They lurk
Just beneath the surface
Ever ready to fall
At the slightest provocation
"Tear are words the mouth can't say nor can the heart bear."
- Joshua Wisenbaker
- Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
They lurk
Just beneath the surface
Ever ready to fall
At the slightest provocation
"Tear are words the mouth can't say nor can the heart bear."
- Joshua Wisenbaker
The Now
Lines between night and day have gradually gotten blurred
I feel sleepy in the day and am kept awake at night
Life itself seems to be a blur
A constant heady mix of things happening and needing your attention
With nary a break in between
Work is another constant blur
Distractions and deadlines
People, mails, projects, bosses, the like
It is difficult to concentrate
I'm distracted
The mind falters, wanders or switches off
The mind at times too travels into a deep abyss I try not to go to
At such instances things take a noxious ominous note
I gag and I heave and I try to pull myself out
I remind myself
There are people who still need me
There are people who still love and care for me
I'm more blessed than others
I should be stronger and more content
I should think and worry less
There will be light at the end of the tunnel
The sun will still shine after the rain
Monday, February 22, 2016
Get Well Soon Peanut....
If I include PD and doctor visits for the kids in addition to my own, I think I would easily hit 1-2 visits to the doc every week for the last 2 months.
Brought Peanut to the PD this morning again. Poor girl has been having a badly congested nose since Saturday night. She caught a cold on the 1st day of CNY but it cleared up. For a mere 3 days before it started again.
She has been sneezing out chunks and dribbles of mucus. And she has been crying more than usual. I think she's tired too because she can't sleep well. See liao heart pain. :(
I'm at work but my heart is at home now where she is being cared for by the helper.
Jiayou Peanut...!
Brought Peanut to the PD this morning again. Poor girl has been having a badly congested nose since Saturday night. She caught a cold on the 1st day of CNY but it cleared up. For a mere 3 days before it started again.
She has been sneezing out chunks and dribbles of mucus. And she has been crying more than usual. I think she's tired too because she can't sleep well. See liao heart pain. :(
I'm at work but my heart is at home now where she is being cared for by the helper.
Jiayou Peanut...!
Sunday, February 21, 2016
What's up doc?
I've seen a GP an average of once a week for the last 4 weeks. And prior that, an average of 1-2 times a month since the birth of Peanut.
These are not counting whatever checkups I had.
Argh.
That puts it close to 10 or maybe even 10 trips to the GP in the last 5 months.
So the lack of rest has made me susceptible and vulnerable to various ailments?
Sigh.
I hope it only gets better from here on...
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Headaches
I've been having headaches these 2 days. Basically, since I started work yesterday.
Popped Panadol earlier today and it helped for several hours but now the throbbing has started again.
I can only attribute it to:
1. I don't wanna go back to work.
2. The constant glare of the laptop screen.
3. The constant glare of the fluorescent lights overhead.
4. Suddenly using too much brain cells when the brain has not been picked at in such a manner for many months.
5. The constant sounds and chatter throughout the whole day.
6. The small talk and banter when you meet other colleagues throughout the whole day.
7. Missing my bed too much.
8. Missing my girls too much.
9. Wearing contact lenses again after a long hiatus.
10. Lack of sleep.
Of cabs and taxis
I caved.
I took a cab home after work again today.
Are laziness and a splitting headache sufficient as reasons for doing so?
:(((
I've spent $100 on cabs in 2 days. Sigh.
Friday, February 12, 2016
Of Monologues and Double-Words
And so, now that Peanut has started infant care and the inlaws have started sending and fetching her to and from school.....the monologues with double-words have started again. The same monologues we heard 2 years back.
"Oh the sun glare glare lah!"
"You want to hold hold? Alyssa grab grab lah!"
"Oh you want to chew chew and bite bite!"
"You want to mum mum is it?"
"See the tree tree, bird bird, cloud cloud?"
"Look at the [insert noun twice]!"
Much noise in the car in the mornings.
I need more patience. :)
Thursday, February 11, 2016
The long drawn weaning process
It's taking a long time but I think I'm doing an alright job of weaning Peanut off my milk.
She went from 100% breastmilk to now maybe 55% formula and 45% breastmilk.
I went from pumping 6 times a day to the current 3 times a day.
I will need to continue pumping at work for a few more weeks or maybe a month or two.
I started Little Baby on cereal and other solids when she was 5.5months and I would be doing the same for Peanut.
Hopefully that would be the time when I would be able to wean Peanut off completely.
I'm half-hearted about it though....weaning her off. A little guilty about it.
And also.....What if she doesn't recognise my smell anymore?
As it is, with her starting infant care and Little Baby being so clingy to me, I am spending very little time with Peanut. :(
Year of the Monkey
This year's CNY isn't much to shout about.
Besides the fact that K flew off for work on 初一 night, Peanut and I fell sick on 初一 night as well. I also smacked Little Baby on 初一 night, and was the cause of her tantrum on 初三 night and 初四 morning.
I hope tonight will be better. I shall rein in myself and attempt to be less harsh/strict on Little Baby. Sometimes, maybe discipline can take a backseat?
Fingers crossed that the weeks and months and year ahead will be better.
Tuesday, February 09, 2016
大年初二
Lunch was plain rice with some corn soup, plain tau kwa and some sotong balls. A little pathetic but the helper and I were looking back after Peanut and couldn't do much else.
My nose was starting to drip and so I popped a flu pill and promptly concussed for 1.5hrs. Helper was watching over the napping Peanut and besides, I didn't give her any instructions for dinner. And so voila...we don't have dinner.
Instant noodles to the rescue.
Yes a little pathetic again....
This CNY hasn't been all that rosy but I'm just happy Peanut is still smiling sometimes amidst her crankiness and general malaise.
Fingers crossed.
明天会更好啊!!
大年初一
I smacked Little Baby and shouted at her numerous times last night.
(Besides the usual hugs and kisses she gets from me.)
Didn't want to do so on the first day of CNY but I guess there's no choice when the situation calls for it.
:(
If there's any consolation. I explained why I had to scold and smack her and she seemed to brush off the incident within minutes.
Sigh.
Alone with helper. K is away for a work trip.
One girl is down with fever and runny nose and very cranky.
The other is recovering from diarrhoea but still fussy and volatile and sticky as hell to me.
I eventually slept at 12am. Only to be awoken by her cries at 1230am. The helper settled her while I settled Little Baby who had woken up as well due to the noise.
215am. Little baby woke again and was fussing like shit. No idea why, just incessant whining and fussing and kicking.
I hope that's the end of tonight's challenges.
FML lah. I know I 犯太岁 this year but no need to "choot" so much pattern when it's 大年初一 right?!
And now I feel the onset of a bad sore throat and a sniffly nose. Plus I seem to be growing a cyst next to one of my ears.
Sigh. Argh. Bah. Bleah.
%#<^*!!?!!><]#%£€¥!!!%#
Monday, February 08, 2016
Granny
Granny would have been 100 years old on 7 Feb if she were still around.
Ally said she was prolly enjoying herself and having a good game of mahjong up in heaven.
I like that idea. :)
And she's prolly playing with Ipoh, Tuan Ku and her eldest sister who passed on like maybe 60/70/80 years ago...
Happy Chinese New Year Mama...Selamat Tahun Baru Cina...
I miss your potato chips, buah keluak, hee peow soup and acar...these were all your CNY specialities...
Saturday, February 06, 2016
When going out
Before kids
- In contact lenses
- With make-up
- Colour-coordinated outfit
- Matching footwear
- Almost flawless hair
After kids
- In specs (of which the bronze surface is incidentally starting to peel off to reveal the silver base beneath. Super obiang I know)
- No make-up
- Non-colour coordinated outfit
- Non-matching footwear
- Bed hair (it's a bonus if I manage to brush through it once before leaving the house)
P/s: somehow these days I am not brushing my teeth before bed. I end up just crawling into bed....ok bad habit I know. :(
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