Adrian helped parents to do up their LPA yesterday. I was one of the donees and had to login to the OPG portal to accept this role. Then I realised from the portal....K & I did ours up 4 years ago in end 2020....how time flies...
I told my parents about it at the time and it took them 4 years to execute....mainly cos Adrian guided them how to do so. My fault, I didn't follow-through. Also cos...they told me they wanted to read up on their own first.
Anyway...nvm.....
Had an hour long chat with my direct boss this afternoon after lunch on some sensitive work matters about how another team's boss spoke to me about tapping on my staff to fulfil the other team's work scope.
Somewhere in the conversation...
Me: The youngest in my team is already 40.
Him: We need to get younger folks on board to know our work. We're in a niche industry. It takes someone several years to know and understand how things work...and you're already nearing 50. When we leave, who's gonna take over?
Didn't bother with his last sentence......
*cue cymbals clashing*
*cue sad music*
*cue close up shot of my anguished face*
"....AND YOU'RE ALREADY NEARING 50...."
Laoniang is mid-40s....I still have 5 more years to hit 50 ya...not too far but also not so near lah!!!
岁月不饶人.....sigh...
Eczema?
Ever since we shifted stuff out from BluCoral in end June & July, I had on & off outs of itching...one after the other...with some itchy areas just staying itchy till now.
Itchy scalp. Itchy area around lips. Itchy fingers with tiny bumps sometimes. Itchy armpits. Itchy back of neck with rashes.
And most recently in the last 2 days....itchy patch on back of right thigh just below the bum.
Pek chek & worrying.
Cannot be slathering myself with hydrocortisone so much right? Resorted to taking Zyrtec on one of the days several weeks ago too.
May this pass soon....
Teary since yesterday. Not sure why. Emo cos of menses? But upcoming one is only in another 1-2 weeks I think. Unless the cycle is getting shorter which happened before. (Menopausing?) Tired of things?...
Stepped into office building lobby this morning and wanted to cry. Face was scrunched up and I took deep breaths lest the security guard at the counter noticed me. Luckily there were only 1 or 2 others around and they were all scuttling towards the lifts.
Stepped out into the lift lobby at my level and again wanted to cry.
May this just be a passing phase.
Jiayou....
I am always thankful having u as my RO
More work to do (compared to last time)....but I am never alone....thanks for always supporting us and being around.
==============
Words from ST. Some small motivation to keep going. Glad I have good colleagues & teammates to keep me sane amidst the rubbish that comes sometimes....
Jiayou Michelle!
Maybe I need to 冲花水
One complaint case last week. 2 this week. So many angry, self-entitled people around who are quick to flare up or jump to conclusions which lead to misunderstandings and misconstrued intentions.
Yesterday's complaint case is hopefully resolved. But it has dug up a can of worms which we did not know about for 1.5 years. Can of worms is being addressed at the moment.
Today's case took up so much of our time. I hope our proposed solution works for both parties and the case can be resolved by tomorrow. Didn't realise my stomach was tensed up till I left my home work desk for dinner.
Patience tested as well. Glad I have my teammates around to handle some of these together with me.
==========
What does not kill you makes you stronger....
But 也不要这样 leh....给老娘一点喘气的机会好吗？
I'm resistant to changes. Call me 古板, 固执 or suaku....but yeah, I don't use things like Apple Pay, Google Pay, Grab Pay. I don't use e-credit cards. I don't use SimplyGo on my mobile either.
For the longest time I did not have the Singpass app as well, till I was forced to download it cos of some banking procedures.
Just don't feel comfortable having so many things on the mobile. Yes, it's convenient but it's ok...I'll live with some of these traditional methods...
Snippets of stuff in the last couple of weeks
==============
Gum issues
Right lower back, then right upper back.
Been using antiseptic mouthwash for more than a week. I really hope right upper back gets well soon. I don't wish to go for another round of deep gum cleaning. Cos...painful like shit.
==============
Got my way (but erm...not really too?)
On a work issue where I managed to push my position and remove our hotline number from invoices...somewhat thankful.
But not so thankful that a boss has suggested something big and hinted (thankfully only to myself so far) that I take the lead in handling it as a FY26 work project.
AI agentic chatbot to handle our hotline queries.
救命啊!!!!!! No idea what to do or how to handle.
==============
National Day Parade
We managed to keep our tradition and watch the parade this year. As a family of 4, huddled in K & my room, on our bed. :)
And we sang the national anthem and said the pledge together again too. :)
==============
Work
Most challenges from the June/July period have been settled. I am thankful & grateful for those who helped, especially the colleague from Legal assigned to advise/assist our team. Grateful too for SP whom I spent some time disturbing though he was away in Malaysia for a short trip.
There were other irksome moments like having to deal with a colleague who is always clueless and trying to smoke/muddle her way through things. But still thankful for having a bunch of other colleagues who are there to hustle together through various issues.
==============
Mahjong
Had 2-3 short & simple mahjong sessions on some of the Saturday evenings when we went over to Adrian's place. Mum's the one who is gian I think. :D :D under the guise of teaching her grandson how to play lol....
I'm happy for these family times...and at least I get to hone my rusty mahjong skills abit.
That piece of work...is really stressing me out.
At times I can feel my stomach tensing up. And there are days when I go to bed with my stomach tensed up, and in the morning when I wake I feel tense again.
You know it's a sibei sensitive issue when your parent ministry takes a long time to assess and clear its channels just to provide you with its position. And clearance was at top-management level, with even the Min kept informed.
And lawyers from both parent & your end are involved.
And you need to keep your CEO informed as well.
And.......sigh...
Alot of "firsts" that we met with after I took over the ops. Why me?
(Reminds me of a white Tshirt I had when I was a teenager...it had WHY ME?! sprawled all over the front of the T-shirt in big bold and black letters)
Zapping me out.
I hope, and I really hope that this issue gets resolved soon and smoothly too.
Fingers & toes crossed.
We handed over our unit to the couple from HK today.
Looks mature & steady. The lady is expecting and already in her second trimester. She seems cool-headed and grounded. Based on first impressions, I like her. She works for Meta, and the husband works for an investment bank.
I hope the rental goes on smoothly for more than a few years.
Many things happening at the same time. My mind's in a whirl and half the time I feel like I am not keeping up with things.
Work has been challenging on certain fronts. Just glad I have people to share my woes with, and a nice boss to 并肩作战 with.
On the home front...N's PSLE prep is largely handled by K and I am thankful for that...her ballet stuff, her DSA stuff, her entering puberty and handling some physical changes, her relationship with her friends, etc...
A's Brownies CCA is sometimes a killer with the amount of stuff to do to attain "badges"....one day plogging project, another day some reading project, another day some save $$ thrift project, etc...Just glad she's disciplined enough to settler her work on her own without too much nagging from us.
Rental issues, clearing out our unit, reno, etc.................................................
I do feel overwhelmed sometimes...though K has been doing most of the legwork...
Some brainfog in place as well...I might be in perimenopause...or already menopauising...?
Was in the midst of a talk on AI film-making when I got a text from K saying that A was at home cos she'd fallen in school during PE. Though her scratches and abrasions weren't too serious, her PE teacher still sent her back home.
Got home after work and saw that her chin had a big bruise/abrasion. I hope it doesn't leave any scar. Her left knee had another big patch of scratches and a circular wound. The other knee had a smaller abrasion and the back of her left hand had another smaller abrasion. Hope none of these leave any scar.
I need to get new gauze and surgical tape tomorrow....
==============================
N had her vocational intermediate exams this morning! Hope she does well enough. Poor girl had to wake early to get her hair done by me cos I had to go to work today. Her exam was only at 9-plus but her hair was all done up at 715am lol. But I guess she was happy she got to skip school. ;p
==============================
K received 2 emails today, both informing that N has been shortlisted and would need to go for her DSA auditions within the next one week. :) Yay! Hope she gets through at least one of them! Fingers & toes crossed! Now to prep her for interview questions, self-introduction, etc...
Was at Sandy Palm on Saturday evening for family dinner as usual.
Adrian updated that they finally managed to get Dad to make a pair of hearing aids! Am happy this finally happened...am a litle shocked that this came so suddenly...
Seems like a forced visit to the ENT specialist finally convinced Dad to take this step. Seems he was told that continued hearing loss contributes to the onset of dementia. This was the thing that tipped him over I think.
I still remember 2-3 years back when he was so upset whenever anyone of us brought this thing about getting him fitted with hearing aids. He texted Adrian at the time (they were and are still living in the same house, just different floors lol) and gave an ultimatum that if this was brought up again, he would 翻脸 with us.
Anyway, he'll be collecting his pair of aids next week...hope all will go smoothly and he doesn't need much adjustments made. Still recall when Granny had hers done last time and there was so much hassle when frequencies were distorted, there was ringing sounds, her silicon mould had to be refitted several times, etc. Technology has improved alot since then and I hope Dad's aids will be all good. Heard they're pretty compact and not too visible too...one thing his ego was concerned about I think.
Cheers to Dad's better hearing & an improved quality of life!
Several things happened before the girls' bedtime last night.
N was still taking her own time getting ready as usual.
I was already in their room with A and doing my usual goodnight wishes to A. We somehow got to talking about handling & regulating our own feelings and emotions. A mentioned she'd imagine herself as a big & strong horse with all bad thoughts & stuff scrunched up into a ball at her feet. She'd use a strong hoof and squash that ball of bad stuff into a flat piece as a thin as a piece of paper and then kick it away. That flat piece of bad stuff would then float away in the wind never to be seen again.
I was surprised. I'd never taught her about visualisation or imagery. I told her then about visualisation techniques and how therapists teach adults how to do this as a way to have a better grip on their emotions. I told her she was good & "clever" to already know this at such a young age and that some adults don't know about this. Case in point, laoniang only learnt this method during therapy 6yrs ago lol.
As if on cue...N came in and started kicking up a fuss. She'd been feeling emo & scared ever since she watched a few minutes of an odd and creepy Korean horror drama at Adrian's place earlier in the evening. She got increasingly difficult to handle and was working herself into a frenzy. She was bawling loudly by then. So much so that I had to take her out the room and make her stay in my room instead. Else A would not be able to sleep.
I apologised to A...who grumbled "Why does she have to always throw such tantrums? Just don't think about bad thoughts lah! If the show is bad, then don't watch, right??!" Wise words from the small one. Earlier in the night she'd sensed that the show was creepy and opted not to watch it. Anyway, I digressed.
I had to leave A alone in their bedroom to tend to N. In the short 2-3 mins I spent apologising to A, N had stopped bawling. She was sitting on my bed, leaning against my pillows & bolster and just staring into space. Occasionally sniffling abit. Probably stuck in a rut. I snapped my fingers and got her to wipe her face with a tissue and tidy up her hair abit. Also got her to sit up straighter.
And then spent the next 30minutes giving her a mini CBT session. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. I tried to teach her what I'd learnt last time from my own therapy sessions. Understanding that thoughts affect your feelings and emotions which then affect your actions...and sometimes your actions feed back into your thoughts and then it becomes an endless loop. I shared with her visualisation techniques how to better control your thoughts. And how to perhaps then replace those thoughts with more neutral or happier ones. I reminded her again about breathing and how focusing on it could help to calm oneself down.
I tried my best lah. Teaching a 12-yr-old these things...and using language that she understands...I may not have done CBT much justice but I tried. And more importantly, I hope N gets it and finds a suitable way to regulate herself.
I also shared with her that visualisation might be difficult to do in the beginning but it gets better with time and practice...I hope she remembers to try it out.
I thought having "I hate you" said to me by my kid was the ultimate.
Never in my life did I expect to hear "You are not my mother."
When all I did was to get them to go to bed. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong person.
Nabeh. 一山比一山高 is it? 老娘 is carrying a 12cm scar across my abdomen cos of you lor.
Nair mind.
Laoniang take deep breaths.
Laoniang will take as many deep breaths as she needs.
This too shall pass.
Everything happens for a reason.
Happened to have a chat with a lady from another department in the office. She shared something with me "Kids are ungrateful. Don't take it personally." She emphasised that she meant it with no malice...but just as something factual...a matter of fact. We were probably assholes to our parents at some point in the past. Just a matter of how big or small of an asshole we each were that's all I guess.
N was very frustrated last night. PSLE coming. Her days are filled with revisions. And when she wanted to chill abit at night, her phone somehow could not work well. Frustration and anger set in. Guess who bore the brunt of it?
I happened to step into the room at the time to ask her to get ready for bed. She told me to shut up. I belted out "What did you say??!!" She instantly broke down and cried, and apologised to me. It was only a short while later when she was in the bedroom again and I was wishing A good night and tucking her into bed first. N was muttering stuff under her breath.
I caught this phrase she uttered "You are not my mother."
It was strange. I didn't blow my top. I was calm, and nicely asked her to repeat herself. "Come again, what did you say? Can you say that again please?"
Silence.
She started crying again, letting out her frustration (despair?). I sat there with her on her bed. A tried to sayang me & give me a hug. She'd heard it too, and she whispered to me "Mama, I heard. I don't want you to be sad." I assured her I was ok and made her lie down again.
N started voicing out some of her sad, angry thoughts. Amidst spluttering, sniffling and snot wiping. Somewhere in between....I'm unsure but I thought I heard a "sorry" to me being said as well. Some silent moments in between as well. I shared with her too that it was not nice to say mean things and what she said was quite hurtful.
Things tapered off and ended. N & I hugged and I offered to play each girl a song of their choice before they finally went to bed. A declined the offer. N asked for Adele's "When We Were Young". Emo song. While it was playing, I then felt the impact of the words she said. The lights were out by then. And I felt safe to start crying. Silently. To myself. Forced myself to stop by the end of the song.
N then asked for "The Humming Song". A tune I hummed to them to put them to bed with ever since they were babies...They still ask for it once in a blue moon. Last night was that blue moon.
I hummed it for them for awhile...before I stopped when they were fidgeting less in their beds...
Jittery night. Did not manage to sleep it off.
And so...
Jittery morning.
Hope the course of the day wears the jitters down or at least smoothens down their edges.
And there's the long overdue lunch with KH happening today too..
Jiayou Michelle!
Met a lady from another department. We didn’t know each other till we got put together in the same group at a big corporate event last year. We had to run around Fort Canning & handle quizzes and games together.
She’s older and quite a lively person so I feel comfortable talking to her. Sometimes when we meet in office, we’d chat abit.
Today, I found out that her younger daughter
is taking the O-levels. And N’s taking her PSLE so we were chatting about exams,
teenagehood, etc. I left the conversation with a takeaway…it was a phrase her
ex-colleague shared with her, said not with malice but as a matter of fact.
“Kids are ungrateful. Don’t take it
personally.”
Useful phrase to keep in mind when
the going gets tough…:)
Small one might be entering puberty...hmm some tiny physical changes....and....
One pimple each on both her cheeks since yesterday!
Growing up too fast...I still wanna bask in her kiddiness longer...
The youngest in both the Lim and Sng families...
Recently started tangling and doodling again.
I'm not such a creative person and get stuck on the few designs/patterns I know...while I enjoy the doodling and drawing....my lack of creativity sometimes stifles things lol.
I guess I move on from hobby to hobby too...crochet for a period of time, then stop...then dabble in zentangle & doodling again....then stop...then read abit (a really short bit)...then stop again
Spent the last 4 days plogging for 30mins each afternoon or evening with Alyssa. For one of her Brownies' project.
We're novices and only armed ourselves with a mid-sized plastic bag, and a pair of disposable chopsticks. We mainly walked along the pavements and grass patches around our house.
I was surprised though. Each day of plogging yielded at least 300-400gms of rubbish. And it was mostly because we did not have larger bags to store the rubbish. Bigger pieces of junk like trunking, cables and were left as is.
Day 1 - 82 cigarette butts, and random bits of paper, rubber and plastic. Also tissue, sweet and snack wrappers and odd pieces of small junk.
Day 2 - 60+ cigarette butts, random bits of plastic and paper again. Discarded metal cans. More tissue, sweet and snack wrappers. Straws.
Day 3 - 1 cigarette butt, 3 empty cigarette boxes, more wet tissues, cable ties, snack wrappers again. At least 2 plastic dabao bags (those used to dabao iced milo or kopi). Straws again.
Day 4 - 14 cigarette butts, various pieces of styrofoam, many tissue papers, straws again and odd pieces of plastic, rubber and paper again.
Many of us just walk along pavements without realising there are many bits of rubbish nestled in between grass patches, along road kerbs, next to bins, under bushes, or just on the pavement itself.
Alyssa & I realised that when we open up our eyes to observe then we really can "see" and notice so many things.
I don't understand though, why there are so many snack, food, biscuit, sweet wrappers around on the floor? If you dropped it, just pick it up and throw it when you next see a bin right? So difficult meh? Sigh...
Alyssa came home from Brownies today bearing small wooden tags for K, N, herself & myself.
One side bears our name and the side of the tag contains a meaningful message.
I loved the one she wrote for herself. So profound for a 10-year-old.
"Just know that I am proud of you."
- Your clone
Loved the message she wrote.
Wish I had her level of intelligence when I was 10. I think I was just nuah-ing around and irritating my brother at home at age 10.
Checked my HR app yesterday.
Checked my bank account yesterday too.
Yay, performance and corporate bonus are in already...!
It's been around 4 weeks since I took the bus to work.
Already expected that it would derail me somewhat. This morning was a jittery time getting to the bus-stop, waiting for the bus to come and the whole journey.
Glad the "Coffee & Piano" playlist I listen to on Spotify worked its wonders again to keep me abit more calm and grounded.
And it had to be today that I met with heavy rain again lol.
Took me 15-20mins from the usual bus-stop I alight at to get to my office building. It usually takes me 5mins to walk to office.
I spent a few minutes frozen at the bus-stop this morning instead, wondering if it would make more sense to backtrack to Labrador MRT station and then take the sheltered walkway to the office building, or forge ahead & brave the 500/600m walk in the rain.
Considerations?
Which would get me less wet...and which would preserve my new calfskin leather shoes better.
I ended up going to Labrador MRT station. There was only a big road that was unsheltered before I got to the MRT station. But....that small stretch....was enough to get part of the inside of my shoes wet...just glad it was not soaked through else I'd have another pair of ruined & grimy leather shoes.
Mini adventure this morning...Here's to a better week ahead!! Jiayou!!
Thankful, laoniang accumulated 10 days OIL, to be cleared in one year.
I still have 43 days of AL out of which 28 can be brought over to 2026.
Which means I have 25 days (including the 10 OIL) that need to be cleared within this year.
Ok....need to plan how to make this happen.
Alyssa wrote a poem for me for Mother's Day. She did it in Chinese & translated it into English as well.
叶子 － 林芯余
当雪从老天
落下来，
叶子都会
离开树妈妈。
有一棵叶子
还紧紧地
抓住树干。
那个叶子是
我。
Leaves - Alyssa Lim
Once snow falls
from the sky,
leaves will
leave Mother Tree.
But,
there is one leaf
still holding on.
That leaf
is me.
Nothing from Nadya this year...:) Are we at that stage where she is so busy till no simple card for her mum anymore? Tween-hood....
Feel a little sad for Dr Chee Soon Juan. I did not listen to his rally speeches nor did I read his party's manifesto and proposals.
But I know of him since I was a kid. How he was prosecuted (fairly or unfairly?) many times in his political career. And how got up each time he was beaten down. And how he carried on fighting for what he believed in.
是执着， 是固执， 是信念， 是不服？
Whatever it is, I respect him, his gumption, his perseverance, his courage, his guts in carrying on all these decades in fulfilling his ideals & beliefs and staying hopeful despite the many setbacks he'd encountered.
And I respect his wife too. Don't think it's been easy for her all these years too.
Jiayou to him & his family.
老了
Past 2 weeks of odd working hours during the GE period have turned me into a zombie.
230am - 9am....then 230pm to 9pm. Sometimes 830am - 230pm...then 230am to 9am.
Glad we've stood down from operations officially at 210am 4 May 2025 right after all local votes were announced and declared conclusive.
More things to do this round. Maybe cos there are more paranoid higher-ups...and cos of all the scammy , spammy and malicious issues which started since a few years ago.
Just glad things are sort of over....
It's 12pm now. And I feel like I need to crash into bed again...
Need to get my body clock back in order again lol...
24/7 monitoring started on 23 April.
Laoniang 老了. I feel more tired now than when I was involved in shift work in GE2020.
Mid-way through...ganbatte!!
===========================
I feel a buzz in the air though....I can almost see it.
GE2025 is so different from GE2020 where things were so muted and campaigning and hustings were conducted almost entirely online.
I did not realise how I missed the rallies. I did not realise how I missed the trucks driving around bearing their party colours and loudhailers blaring party slogans and calls to action from ward resident.
Till I heard them once again. :)
Maybe age changes someone. I was never this interested in our GEs...this round feels different somehow and I find myself regularly catching the news and watching updates or highlights from mainstream media or from social media.
===========================
I admire those who stepped up for the various parties. Whether from a small party or a big one with great resources, putting yourself out there in front of the nation, calls for great courage. And I applaud all those who have stood up to run.
What I don't appreciate though, is the various netizens who lambast candidates online. As one netizen put it aptly: "Say so much, comment so much, why you ownself never run? Talk big only."
Say what you want behind closed doors but to openly belittle someone else online, I think it is not nice.
Granted though, that some (or perhaps many) of these FB accounts may just be bots created by folks who just want to be trolls or foreigners who just want to have an interfering hand in SG's business or bored locals who just want to "stir" up unsavoury sentiments on the ground.
===========================
Kudos too to the many unsung folks working behind the scenes to ensure the whole machinery is working well...to quell any possible foreign intereference...to ensure security systems are in place...to ensure IT systems are working well...
Both the public service, and the many volunteers behind each party...
Took a cab to work today. Lazy to lug 2 laptops on the bus.
Cab guy made me "cry" lol.
His playlist was all Jacky Cheung's songs, both in Chinese & Cantonese.
Gosh, all the feels.....
I teared up at one point and was able to just dab away those tear drops....I thought to myself: "Lucky he didn't play 我真的受伤了" else I'd be bawling in the cab lol...
When I reached office, I thanked cab guy for playing Jacky's songs and told him "我的童年。"
He laughed and said "Hah nor...我也是。"
Thank you Matthew for a nice playlist!
I remember friends around me found it odd we called you Mama. I don't know, maybe it's a Peranakan thing to call our grandmothers "Mama". Pronounced as M3 Ma2. I've known you as that my entire life, as have my brother and cousins.
It's been 11 years since you passed. I miss you Mama.....and I miss...
Since last year, it's been more jialat each time big auntie comes to visit these days, compared to just a few years ago and compared to when I was in my 20s or 30s.
More emo, more irritable. More backaches, more cramps. More lethargy, more brain fog.
Symptoms vary each month, sometimes one is experienced more than the other this month but the following month it becomes the other way.
But generally all symptoms are more pronounced than last time, especially on the day before, Day 1 & 2.
Checked among closer female colleagues and this seems to be the "trend" among those in their mid-40s. Of course, there are some younger ladies who've had bad symptoms each month ever since they were young. I feel for them, having to endure discomfort for so many years on end.
Nvm..I will niam each month. And just have to 咬牙继续走....
Dad had a mini fall a few weeks back. My parents didn't tell anyone. zzzz.
She only told me about it 2 weeks after it happened. Sigh. They were on their way home from church. Him being the kan cheong spider didn't want to circle around a raised grass patch which had a concrete kerb running all around it. My mum went round it, he stepped on it & attempted to cross over it. And promptly mis-stepped and landed on both knees. Seems he had a bruise on his right knee which no one noticed at home. I don't stay with them so....sigh.
Apparently he's also been having pain in his left hip since a month plus ago. It acts up after he walks around 700-800m. After repeated attempts, he finally relented and allowed Mum to make an appointment for him to see a doctor at the polyclinic so he can get a referral to see an orthopedic specialist at a hospital. I only hope the referral appointment is not too far off.
As the nation gears up for the big event that takes place every 4-5 years
On the work front, the nervousness and paranoia of both working level and higher-ups are making me fed-up and quite stressed at times. I only hope it ends soon, and I hope with all fingers & toes crossed that my side will be smooth-sailing and uneventful.
On a personal front, I'm somewhat excited and wondering how the rallies will be like this round. 2020 was muted due to Covid and there were no physical rallies. This round, physical rallies will be allowed again. Will it be as interesting as 2011 the watershed year?
Was looking through the PSLE dates and putting them into K & my joint calendar.
Tis the year....
Wondering if I should take leave on those exam days...
孤独·是永恒无解的习题，但总有人不倦地陪你解谜
Found this quite meaningful. It's from Wonderland Season 4, a Chinese variety show.
Wonderland can be boliao and draggy at times but I still watch it cos of the camaraderie of its cast members and of the various heartfelt conversations that gets thrown up in the midst of their interactions. I only started from Season 3 and am 1/3 of the way through Season 4.
Season 3 had a segment which not only made me bawl my eyes out, but also made many cast members cry as well. It was a segment which made each cast member say his or her apology. It could be an apology to anyone or anything. The touching stories that came up, some were quite emotional and thought-provoking. I thought that segment was wonderful.
When you feel like a friendship seems a little broken or out of place
But don't know what happened
And don't know how to go about fixing or improving things
困扰
A lady from the organisation was found unconscious at her desk on 27 March Thursday 11am. Her desk was on the 6th floor. I'm on the 3rd floor and I did not know her. Colleagues tried to resuscitate her and performed CPR while others called for an ambulance. Despite efforts and AED being deployed, she did not make it. She was either my age or a few years younger.
Though I did not know her, the news still rattled me. How things could change suddenly. How she was find and made it to work in the morning but was gone just a few hours later. It's been a few days and I still feel a little shaken. Sigh.
Rest in peace Sharon.
Alyssa made a request last night before bed.
“Mama, can you hum for us tonight?
It’s been a long time since you did it and when you hum I feel happier. I can
sleep better too because it makes me feel safe and happy. And it makes me feel
loved. I really like it. Can you hum for us tonight please?”
And so I did.
I hummed that tune which I came up with back when they were 1 & 3 yrs old I think. It's an improvised draggy version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star....I used to do it every night for a period of time when they were still little. As they grew up, I did it less & less often till it kind of faded away and was not included as part of the bedtime routine anymore.
From time to time now though, one of them would still ask me to hum that tune before bed…
I hope they remember the tune in
their heads…maybe they can hum it to their own kids next time….
Income Tax Assessment SMS notification just came in from GOV.SG
Logged in.
Saw bill.
OUCH.
Paid immediately lest I forget and kena splash red paint by the gahmen.
OUCH.
Ok...eat grass in the next few weeks............
And so EBRC has published its report of how the various GRCs & SMCs will be like for the upcoming elections.
Not looking forward to the work that has to be done on my end...and the jitteriness of the higher-ups and the possible scrutiny that might be on our team's work processes.
Fingers (and toes) crossed that everything will be 顺顺利利.
Ever since we shifted, I've been taking the bus to work a whole lot more.
I'm at only the 4th bus-stop after the bus leaves the interchange so I am usually able to get a seat. And I usually prefer to take bottom deck when I head to work...Over time, there are some folks I've noticed on the same bus at around the same time each day...
You’ll never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
Saw this from a short film. So....beautiful. And so true.
Hate dealing with a certain person from the parent ministry.
Hate having to deal with high achievers with snooty attitudes who write in circles, and use exclamation marks to emphasise certain points in their emails. (How rude though. It's a professional work email.)
Maybe I am just not good enough & cannot understand their "angmoh".
Sorry lah, laoniang is not from that strata, I cannot comprehend things beyond a certain level. Sorry lah, I ish also not a full-time policy-maker. I ish just a 打工仔 who is trying to 过日子 and 混口饭吃。
AND, laoniang 不是 scholar. Laoniang brain not so good.
Deep breaths. Let's not ruin my Friday night. Maybe feeling emo & dramatic cos menses coming soon?
That feeling has come again.
Wondering how long more can I "last" in this job...
If I can't anymore...what are other options in the future?
Can I quit & get a data entry job or an office admin job instead? Knock off on time, no need to OT, no need to handle staff, no need to handle stakeholders.....
And so Christmas is over, New Year is over and now CNY is also mostly done & over with (though we still have Chap Goh Meh on 12 Feb).
This year's CNY was relatively quiet. Quieter than usual. We had 4 house visits on Day 1, 2 on Day 2 and that was it. Good also...else too much ra-ra and hala-ing zaps my energy. :)
Spent the whole afternoon yesterday tabulating the girls' angpows. They had a smaller "haul" this year partly cos we shifted out of our apartment and hence did not receive any from the neighbours lol. But till a good haul nevertheless. Both are 小富婆s..... :D
有心无力，要咋做才能更精力充沛呢
That feeling of being stuck in a rut and just cruising along with no real growth & improvement.
Mid-life woes?
Lack of exercise & hence motivation?
I am not done with my shio pan phase. We're heading to Bedok Mall later today for lunch.....
A trip to Breadtalk is necessary. :D
Happy Birthday Mama!
I miss you alot.
From time to time snippets & memories of you float into my mind.
Like how when I was in primary school and I often did my homework in front of the TV while sitting on the floor with my books arranged in a circle around me, with you sitting in your trusty orange armchair (with wooden arms) on my right. You'd have your eyes glued to the TV which was airing some rerun of a Channel 8 drama (and occasionally cursing in Hokkien at the baddie on screen lol). It was you whom I learned some choice Malay & Hokkien cuss words from lol.
Like how I helped you to make kueh pie tee cups from scratch, dipping the metal mould into the flour mix and then quickly dunking the mould into hot oil and finding the right time to flick out the cup and fry it to a crisp.
Like how we squatted in the kitchen to wrap bak zhang. I was too young & too clumsy to know how to hold & fold the bamboo leaves properly but I helped to scoop up the filling & dump it into the small hole you made in the middle of the glutinous rice, and I helped to cover up the filling with more rice too!
Like how you'd make yummy yellow sticky rice with ikan kuning fried to a level of crispiness I cannot imagine, and other lovely side dishes to accompany the rice like egg omlette and sambal ikan bilis.
Like how you'd make your own fermented rice and leave that huge bottle in the fridge...occasionally sipping on the liquid that resulted from it (I didn't know then but I think it might have been some type of rice alcohol.
Like how you always insisted on sleeping on your tilam on the floor next to my bed even though we had a proper pull-out bed for you with a proper thicker mattress. You always said you still preferred to sleep on the floor.
Like how you regaled me with stories of when you were young, or stories from the war, or how life was back then in those days, etc.
I miss you. It's been almost 11 years since you passed.
Wonder what will become of me next time. Me who is not a high flyer nor a super high achiever but just a regular office worker.
We're in a performance appraisal phase right now. I'd been through a round of grading at my level with my boss. He went through a moderation with his boss already and shared the current results with me.
One older staff from another team within our division seems likely to be given a lower rating. Just because of bell curve fixed quotas that we have to meet, and just because he is older and about to "retire" in another 2 months and be converted to a contract staff. I wondered if it was fair for someone to be designated a sacrificial lamb in such a manner. I wondered if his work performance was actually satisfactory. My boss wasn't sure about that staff's quality of work but it is not the first time this has been done within the organisation as a whole....sigh.
Sad realities of life?
On the other hand, we'd given a staff under me a low rating as well. But given that she had the lowest job grade designation out of the entire division, she was "saved" from this lower rating and given a slightly higher rating. Both good & bad news for me I guess.
Oh...I dislike dealing with HR matters.....
Took the bus to work this morning.
Nerve-wrecking given the long hiatus. I can't even recall the last time I took the bus to work. Might have easily been 3 years ago.
Glad that the bus was not crowded given that the usual bunch of school-going kids had probably cleared by then.
Glad I had a nice corner seat by the window.
Let's keep this up Michelle!!!
New year is here.
I don't think I have any new year resolutions yet except to exercise more.
And I wish for more stability, tranquility, peace, good health, happiness and blessings.
Not just for myself, but for the family & loved ones too.
I'm on leave. But I am chasing one particular staff for her workplan submission.
Angry. Testing my patience. I reminded the team at least 2 times. And I reminded her a 3rd & 4th time. She still missed the deadline. And amendments needed to be made to the rubbish submission. Amended submission is still not in after a week.
$#%!@#$
"Scolded" her this morning and told her I should not need to have to chase you for this when it is your responsibility to look after your submission yourself. I don't want to have to do this while I am on leave!
She is already on performance monitoring, and still not putting in enough attention to these things. I don't know what else to say or what else to do to help. Already given enough guidance & extended more flexibility than I should to support her.
I pray for patience and direction on my end, greater effort and awareness on her end, and a tiny miracle.
Shifted. Back at JS. After 10.5 years.
Myriad emotions.
Movers came on 19 Dec morning 9am. My guesstimate was right...they were done with the shifting by 1030/11am.
Unpacked 70% of my stuff over the past few days. But the girls' stuff and other common items are still 50% unpacked.
Things are in a big mess with clutter everywhere. I hope to clear them soon.
We still have things at our own place, and I'm wondering how to settle those things. Have pushed it at the back of my mind for now. Too many things. One at a time.
Jiayou...
Did not realise how emotional I might be packing things up for the shift.
A little piece of something, another
article, yet another memento.
Each long forgotten till I set eyes on them again. And once seen, each triggering some long hidden faded memory and bringing to surface things from eons ago.
Also threw away various things. Things which I kept all these years, thinking they would come into use one day but somehow never ever did.
Decluttering stirs up dust. Both literal & metaphorical ones.
Recently hired a temp staff. Over-qualified for the post cos she has degree (from distance learning) and a Masters from one of our local unis.
She's 17 years younger but we get along pretty alright. I like her. Easy to talk to.
Only thing is...I feel old sometimes.
Gosh, the Gen Z slangs.....
For e.g. in a typed conversation over Teams....
She: The taste of the fried udon slaps!
Me: ah so it's ur go-to order
She: ya and what slaps even harder is the udon beef, then u add chilli....wah slaps!!
-_-''
Ok laoniang sibei old..sibei old school lol....
Resorted to google....In Gen Z, "Slaps" means something is excellent or amazing, and often used to describe food or music o rother items that are well made.
Laoniang's latest craze.
I'm averaging 3-4 shio pans a week over the last 2-3 weeks...still not too bad la hor...not as if I am having it everyday. :)
So nice..so buttery...so simple.
Japanese version of croissant, with less mess & less oil lol.
Didn't realise I was so into it till the Saturday just past when I went to a bakery and found out its shio pans were sold out. I got quite sad haha.
It's the year-end headache again.
What to get for some people for Xmas. The rush and never-ending list of things to get. Coupled with the many things to do for work, and for the shift back to FIL's. Food items to plan for gatherings, venues to book, appointments to fulfil....and some obligations to try to fulfil also...
I wish I could have a few days of doing nothing. With no one to jump on my bed and annoy me. No incompetent colleague to test my patience. No responsibilities to meet or people to look or "chase" after. Wish I could just stay at home and do some stretching, some dumbbell exercises, watch videos, crochet, nap, etc. Something that feeds me and soothes me....
At this point, I can't seem to even find some time or space to reflect abit on the past year and to think about next year.
K wanted the girls to try a more fine dining experience. And, the last he & I went to Morton's Singapore was more than 10 years ago. And, he was craving for beef....
And so we went this evening. Lol....
Food was good like what we remembered.
The asparagus side dish was a little off for me though. N loved the onion bread & had tons of it. The girls shared a salmon main. A tried some of K's beef and really liked it. That's my girl! A meat-eater! hahaha...N as usual stuck to fish, breads & dessert, and refused any form of red meat (that is not cured or processed) lol.
We had a bacon & onion mac & cheese side dish which turned out to be nice but quite "jelak". We didn't manage to finish it and dabao-ed it home.
A requested to come back again for her 10th birthday...Errrr...we said "see how"....I calculated, the bill could probably feed our family of 4 around 15-17 sessions of McDonald's.
Company's Family Day!
I brought Alyssa there in the morning and then K brought Nadya to meet us there around 12pm, after her Math class.
Think I spent almost 5 hours walking non-stop with very short breaks of 2-3 mins at times.
In the evening, I discovered that my shoulders were red lol. I got tanned but it was a fun day!
Lotsa birdies and I had a nice "conversation" with a birdie friend too. It was some sort of duck which responded when I spoke to it. We carried on a "conversation" for almost a minute before I had to go lol...
I don’t know. Is it a must to go overseas for a trip during the school holidays? Or to have a short trip somewhere or even a staycation?
Why am I viewed as an oddity and rarity when I say I am not going anywhere during this school holidays?
Maybe the last big trip 6yrs ago put me off travelling.
Maybe the anxiety is putting me off travelling too.
Maybe I'm too lazy to plan when there are already so many things going on.
There is that little bit of mum guilt though. When the kids see their friends going off here & there.
Sigh.
I just reaslied something.
I did not jot this down back in April. I must have been pretty occupied at the time with the new system refresh, staff on maternity, etc...
11 April 2014.
Mama's 10th death anniversary.
How time flies.
I miss you Mama.
It was a blessing to have had you around when I was growing up. You were a permanent fixture in my daily life. I came back from school each day and you were at home either watching TV, playing your poker cards, gossiping on the phone with your sister or preparing some yummy snack for all of us.
Wish the girls had a chance to see you & play with you. The only very fuzzy memory they have of you is you in the family portrait back at the old Tampines home. But I don't think they can really recall that anymore too since that house was sold by Mum & Dad 5 years ago.
May you continue having fun up there with Ipoh, Tuanku, Brenda...and now maybe Ah Dioh too...
Alyssa has done well!
Over the past week,
It was a milestones day of sorts.
Alyssa had her 2nd gymnastics competition. A more challenging and proper competition compared to the first one she did in Bangkok. She did well in some segment like the vault and beam but was apparently nervous and didn’t do as well as she could have.
At least this was according to her coach who said she was usually the strongest in the beam routine and all coaches were depending on her to ace that routine & get a high score. She was the last of all 35 competitors to go on the beam and I think she got quite nervous. Coach said she missed out some things but still did good.
Nadya had her first outing with her bunch of good gal pals from her P5 class! Zero parent supervision. They were all on their own and had lunch at 112 Katong’s SG Hawker, and then hung around shopping a little bit. They then went to catch a movie before ending up at the basement buying bubble tea. Some of them adjourned to Parkway to play at Timezone but Nadya & another girl didn’t join them for this portion.
11 October 2024 (Friday) was 九王爷's birthday. Lunar date was 9th of the 9th lunar month.
And it was my lunar birthay!
I initially wanted to celebrate it a little....but...forgot cos we were busy with looking after a sick Alyssa...and getting Nadya prepped for her enrichment class.
Oh well...happy belated lunar birthday to me!
And so my firstborn turned 11 on 9 October 2024 (Wednesday).
Time flies and she can wear some of my old tops now. She's inherited at least 2 or 3 of my old Adidas sports singlets lol.
She's into a little bit of kpop now, influenced by her girlfriends from class. Glad that she's found a good bunch to be with at school. They are good kids and strong in various aspects. I hope they bring good & positive influence to her.
She's still "tantrummy" even at this age. I roll my eyes at times when she gets a certain way. She tests my patience alot as well though I have to say it's been better in the latter half of this year compared to earlier this year and even last year.
I don't know if she's hit puberty yet as there seems to be no physical changes save for some pimples at her temples. And she still stubbornly refuses to use facial wash. I can only sigh.
She's still passionate about her ballet, and reading her books. She's picked up crocheting after I taught her the basics and now she's experimenting with making her own things. Wish I had better skills to teach her more complex designs and patterns but oh well...this mama is a little of a jack of all trades but master of none.
I hope though that she keeps up with these positive pursuits and learns more about other things as well. There's a lot the world has to offer!
Happy birthday Nadya! Dada, Mama & Meimei love you!
Was swabbed at Healthway clinic this afternoon. Confirmed that laoniang has Influenza A as well.
And so dear Alyssa passed it to me. Was given Tamiflu and a bunch of meds to deal with the fever, runny nose, cough and sore throat.
Doc said fever for Influenza A is usually at levels of 39 or 40C...and that my immunity seems strong enough that my highest temperature for today was at 38.6C. K said Alyssa's high fever only kicked in on Day 2 or 3. I hope mine stays at manageable levels. 38+ C was already giving me bad aches...I cannot imagine crossing 39C.
3 days MC.
No urgent work matters. I shall nuah.
It's been a strange October so far.
1st week
Quarreled with Nadya one evening and I got so frustrated with her that I teared up in front of her & Alyssa. Alyssa got pissed at Nadya over the situation as well and stormed out of the room. Cried quite badly another night due to some stress and anxiety felt over another personal issue.
On yet another day, found out that the junior officers in my team had skipped doing a piece of work for at least 5 months'. Nobody told me anything till we finally managed to have a F2F team meeting on 1 Oct. Trust has seriously been broken. And I also seriously question myself and my abilities to lead the team. Alot of self-doubt and reflection.
Alyssa accidentally caught her little finger between a wall and the car door and effectively pinched off a chunk of skin from the tip of the finger. She bled quite abit and was teary but still handled the situation like a trooper.
2nd week
Spent most of my time focused on Alyssa who fell sick with influenza A. Whole of Wednesday night and Thursday was spent sponging her, sometimes while trying to clear work. I hope she didn't pass anything to me. I've a slightly runny nose and sore throat now...
We split both of them up, with K sleeping with Alyssa, and Nadya bunking in with me in our bedroom. Nadya sleeps like a starfish that rolls around. Sigh. I'll admit that I had to physically push her away from me many a time these last few nights. I hope Alyssa gets well soon so that Nadya can go back to their bedroom.
Ended the week by stubbing my smallest right toe against a magnetic door catch on the floor. And broke off part of my toenail. I felt pain but didn't know I was bleeding till Nadya told me there were drops of blood on the floor. $#@%$#!^$%^
I hope the latter half of October brings better things for us.
Sometimes, I wonder if I am just a doormat who goes along with anything and everything. Unless it’s something illegal or goes against my conscience or morals.
这是太随和还是没主见还是累了?
Alyssa turned 9 on 24 September 2024! It was a Tuesday.
The littlest of our family is now almost a decade old. Time flies.
She is still as cheery, compassionate, emphathetic and affectionate as before.
Though she had more breakdowns this year and tantrums as schoolwork gets more difficult. She gets upset when she can't solve a Math sum and then gets stuck in a whirlwind of frustration & unhappy thoughts , and can't get out of it.
She is helpful and willing to handle her chores or help out where needed. Unless I disrupt her reading of an interesting book lol.
She asked for a simple meal at Astons on Sunday evening. And a trip to Decathlon so that she & her sister could run amok there and try on skates, play with balls, check out other stuff, etc.
Stay healthy and happy little one. I'm glad you made more friends this year, both within your class and in your gymnastics class too.
Stay focused and keep going! Dada, Mama & Jiejie love you!
When you fixate on something, it becomes your reality.
Take that first step. Just do it. Get started. Just keep swimming.
Don't let whatever was clinically diagnosed hold you back, box you in or constrain your thoughts, behaviours and actions.
Try try try. And then try somemore.
2 cremation services in as many weeks...
September 2024 has been a strange month.
人生不如意事十有八九....笑着带过吧...this too shall pass
Received news of Ah Dioh's situation on 18 Sept. He was gravely ill and warded at CGH. I visited him and spent more than an hour there that same evening. I wasn't sure if his mind could register anything as he was already in a somewhat unresponsive state. But I still greeted him and said my hellos. Much of that hour was spent supporting & comforting my aunt (his wife), and chatting with my cousin (his daughter).
I'm glad I rushed over that day and managed to see him.
He passed away early on 20 Sept.
I attended the wake on 20 Sept evening, and was also present at his cremation service on 22 Sept Sunday evening.
And just like that....in a jiffy...he went from hospital bed to coffin and then the incinerator in less than a week...Things end quite swiftly sometimes.
He battled bladder cancer for 3 years and had several operations over this period of time. He was quite resilient and still had a good appetite. His mind was good and was very lucid when we visited him during CNY earlier this year.
Rest in peace Ah Dioh. I hope you're happily reunited with all your siblings in heaven..
Haven’t really had the chance to organise my thoughts or pen things down. Myriad emotions since MIL’s passing exactly 3 weeks ago.
On one hand, I am glad she is no longer suffering. Being unable to eat, or taste much took a toll on her mind and body, given the foodie that she was.
The other part of me, the selfish part of me I guess, feels the loss of a steady presence (& glue) on that side of the family. One who was always there and looking after the family in her own ways. One who was the more practical & level-headed half, watching out for FIL, whether he knew it or not. One who was doting on the grandkids, yet also tried to impart key values and life habits to them, and emphasised the value of education and female independence.
Thank you Mum....
Rest in peace...
I joined the organisation on 17 September 2007.
Voila. It's been 17 years.
I'm more or less still holding the same role, with a highly expanded scope, and my own team now.
I guess I've grown with this place. It's witnessed many milestones in my adult life.
In these 17 years.....I went through a hurtful breakup and had to give up a flat I balloted for. I got to travel alot and sometimes to "exotic" places. I met K and we eventually got married. The girls came along. Granny passed away 6 months after N was born. A never got to see her. K & I got our own place. We also got our first car & second cars. I hired my first helper ever. I got clinically diagnosed with anxiety. I got promoted 3 times......amongst other things.
I am thankful for the good bosses I've had, and good teammates. Thankful too for some friendships formed over the years with colleagues, and ex-colleagues.
MIL passed away.
While the eventuality was expected given the illness, it still hits hard when it happens.
FIL & SIL called K & I at 230am. My phone was on silent mode and I slept through the calls till K woke me up to inform me he was heading to the hospital. I stayed back as the girls were still sleeping. But I couldn’t get back to sleep and was on standby mode, thoughts running through my tired mind.
K finally texted me at 4:58am to let me know she had passed.
The wake was held over the next 3 days, with the cremation ceremony on 6 Sept evening, and scattering of ashes on 9 Sept morning.
In a way, I am glad that her suffering was not too prolonged.
Rest in peace Mum. I hope you're having a fun reunion with Ah-Gu and your parents.
Unstoppable - Sia
All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town
How do you broach the topic of mortality with a 9-yr-old?
I am thankful that both girls had had pets (both hamsters & spiders) in the past who all passed on eventually. At least that helped to introduce the concepts of impermanence and mortality to them.
We've both been slowly talking to them in bite-sizes, whether individually or together, about things and the eventuality.
I hope they understand...slowly bit by bit...
Conversation with the 9-yr-old
A: I want 3 birthday cakes this year.
Me: Har? Why?
A: Because this is my last year with
a single digit age number.
Me: Errrr ok…
A: I also need 3 birthday cakes next
year.
Me: And why again?
A: Because next year is my first year with a double digit age number.
Me: .............
Don't buy things on impulse when you're not in a good mood.
Ended up with 2 articles of clothing that do not fit me, and which are somehow non-returnable.
Sigh.
活该
Wonder if I should bring them to be altered? Hmm......
Wondering if I am doing an ok job as a reporting officer.
Wondering if and how I can do more and how else I should handle this one particular staff, who is also bringing some amount of headache for my own boss.
It's my first time dealing with this situation. He has seen more through the course of his work life....while he also finds this situation not ideal, at least it is not anything too egregious.
I had a chat with him a few weeks back. We agreed that while we can show compassion and accord more flexibility to this staff, we need to also ensure work responsibilities get fulfilled, and we need to properly document our chats/counselling sessions/instruction emails with this staff.
I'm still learning....
可以的
Trying to be best friends with my dumbbells. Kinda slow getting to know each other better. May we find each others' frequency soon. Lol....
可以的!!
We’re almost midway through the 7th lunar month already. Mid-autumn is coming soon.
The purchase and delivery of mooncakes is coming up soon.
Time ticks away so fast.
I should be prepping for Xmas soon too. In fact, I think we were already done with a portion of the Xmas gifts by this time last year.
Nvm....
可以的......
I've been buying some things recently...from crochet stuff to the kids' bedding, to sewing materials, etc.
But the best buy has got to be....
A pair of prescription goggles.
It was an off the shelf pair from View. Got it from the Sun Paradise shop and was told by the sales lady that it was a Japanese brand. The cheap pair I got online from Shopee didn't work for me. Water seeped in whenever I dunked my head underwater. And so without hesitation, I bought the View pair. I think from asking the lady, to trying it on, and then paying up, I only took probably 10mins haha. Fast purchase.
Managed to try it out over the weekend and suddenly found that I could swim again! Yay! I could see underwater. Though it's not fully clear but better than not having any vision underwater at all.
I stopped swimming ever since I had kids and it was even harder to get started again when I stopped wearing contact lenses about 7 years ago....I simply couldn't swim without knowing exactly where I was going or what I was seeing. It felt very scary to swim like that and given my high myopia, I just kinda forgot about swimming and gave up.
I can't do 15-20 laps like I did 15 years ago. But oh well..baby steps baby steps...happy to even just do the equivalent of 1 lap for now...broken into smaller distances since the pool below my block is just a small pool lol.
Ganbatte!
Sick since Wednesday afternoon when she called us from school to announce that she was havign a fever and had a headache. Vomitted twice at home that afternoon. The doctor said she had stomach flu.
We separated the big one from her. N slept with me and K bunked in with A.
Fever broke by Friday morning but the cough...oh the cough. It's so persistent and the phelgm sounds so thick.
Sigh....may the cough & phelgm go away soon. She's been cranky & moody the entire day today, claimed she's extremely bored.
Back to school tomorrow so I hope the school, work, homework & friends occupy her enough....
Marc's entering uni. He's going NTU. And he's starting his hostel orientation camp in 2 day's time.
I'm getting all the feels. Feeling excited for him and all that he'll be going through over the next few years. For the new friends he'll be making, for the new experiences, for the new "freedom" of staying on his own and looking after himself.
有一种莫名的兴奋和骄傲。。。
Adrian, me, and even K were all from NTU, my cousin and his wife as well...and now the next generation is going to NTU too...:)
It felt real nostalgic when Marc showed me a map of the current NTU on his phone. The place has changed so much and expanded in ways I never imagined too.
I hope he has a great & fulfilling time in NTU, and in his assigned hostel too. I hope he enjoys his orientation & hostel life thoroughly like I did! May he make long-lasting friendships too.
Guess we have to accept that as time goes by, as people grow & develop, as people live their lives and go about their own paths...
It is inevitable that some friends will be on a slightly different wavelength with different interests and pursuits.
Maybe I am getting more gor tak too as I grow older. Maybe I've changed, especially in the last 5 years.
Is this a Singaporean thing? Or an Asian thing?
To downplay, to be seen as humble, to be self-deprecating...when done too much though, it may be perceived as hypocrisy?
"My kid cannot make it. The Maths and Chinese wah lau eh...I wanna vomit blood"
Kid ends up in BICEP programme....
"I don't exercise, where got time? My stamina chui until...."
Posts on FB about a 7km run...
"No money lah, budget tight."
Buys a multi-storied townhouse with a lift...
"I'm chill lah, just let the kid try lor."
Kid comments that the parent is very strict with studies and makes kid do assessments...
Wondering if I do it too. Hmm..
2nd half of the year already. So fast.
Felt like we just celebrated Xmas & CNY and now it's time to prep for Xmas gifts again, after we settle the mid-autumn festival stuff. Do I have to prep teachers' day stuff this year? Sigh.........
Too quick.
=============
I've been at this place almost 17 years. Over the last 2 months, thoughts of quitting creeped into my mind. First time ever.
I don't know why. Frustration at recent happenings? The double & triple-hatting over the last 2 years? My staff having all sorts of things happening to them and having to take leave frequently? The 3rd change of the boss sitting 2 levels up? The frustration of some team members not pulling their own weight? Just me being tired? Me feeling like I don't know what I am doing at work and in life?
=============
Looking to fengshui-ise my cubicle.
Himalayan salt lamp - checked
Little red something in southwest corner - checked
Live plant in northeast corner - coming soon......
