Conversations

With the 2yr 4mth old.........

We were at Parkway Parade waiting for Nadya to finish her speech and drama class. Most shops weren't open yet and K, Alyssa and myself were just wandering around when we found outselves in the basement floor. There was a pet shop there and I wanted to bring Alyssa to see the hamsters which can usually be seen through the shop's windows.

A: Mama, I don't want to see.
Me: Why? I thought you liked hamsters?
A: Noooo...I don't! But I like ham!

LOLOLOLOL. This little girl is turning out to be quite a talker.
And she was the one who made us quite worried initially when she wasn't talking much even at the age of 2.

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With the 4yr 4mth old.....

She was having a sausage bun for supper and couldn't finish it. She passed the leftover to K and K asked her why.

N: Because Mama cannot eat too much. Her tummy is fat already.

BIG BIG SIGH. :(  :(  :(  :(  :(

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With the 4yr 4mth old....

Alyssa was throwing a tantrum in Nadya's room. Rolling on the floor, screaming at the top of her lungs, big tears and all.

And then Nadya very sagely said "Nevermind, let her be."

A Walk in the Park

K was out for a wedding dinner on Saturday night and we didn't have to go back to my parents' place for dinner as well since we'd already had reunion lunch together. The girls were clamouring over me and asking to go out.

I made them promise to be good during dinner so we could go out after that haha.

We went out during dusk. My favourite time of the day. It was 7:30pm.
The sky was shades of purple, blue, grey and pink. That little precious window of time when everything seems so much clearer and more peaceful. And before the sky turned black.

It was a cool evening. Windy. As usual during each CNY. Is this called the Spring Wind? 春风.

I took them to the park connector. It was a slow slow walk. Partly because Alyssa's strides were only that long (or short for that matter haha). And also partly because I was showing them and telling them about various things. We even stopped for awhile to munch on mini chocolate buns that I'd brought along with me.

Taught them about streetlamps. Played with shadows. Talked about canals and how water from the drains all converge and flow into the main big canal. And how water flows from the canal out to the sea eventually. Showed them ferns and creeping vines on trees. Explained to them the different breeds of dogs since so many of them were out on strolls that evening. Taught Nadya how to look after Alyssa and make sure she didn't get into the path of any bicycles or skate scooters.

We talked about fairy lights too. And reflections of light on water. And high tides versus low tides. Taught Nadya how to read street signs and recognise the one leading to our development. We watched one or two planes go by, almost overhead. And we spent quite some time observing a black and white cat lying on top of a wall. Before Nadya shrieked and ran away when the cat finally decided to jump down and headed towards us in search of food.

We walked. We talked. We laughed. We sang. We giggled. We ate.

It was a short 40minutes but I had a really wonderful time. I hope they did too.

And...

Thank you children.
For opening up Mama's eyes again to all the sights, sounds and wonders of this world. Things which we as adults have come to take for granted and gloss over. Things which we as adults have unconsciously chosen to unsee because they have become inconsequential to the daily grind. Thank you for piquing my curiosity again.

Mindsets

If you cannot change the person/colleague who is bringing you grief, and if getting out of the team is not an option, or changing the environment isn't an option, maybe you could look at changing yourself. 

Not changing yourself by bending your principles just to accommodate the other person, but perhaps tweaking certain mindsets of yours....to allow yourself greater emotional control over the effect the other person has on you.

Afterall, why suffer in silence when the other person doesn't care? Why make yourself miserable when the other person goes off "scott-free"? Why bring yourself grief and emotional distress? And if you bring things up, you may end up being seen as the person being petty or being the "bad guy"?

Maybe I should look at how I can tweak myself or my mindset a little?
How can I grow further? What do I need to do? How do I get myself out of this biased rut?

7 early 8 early

Auntie E, I know it's your first time handling the hotline. You're a mother of 2 teenagers. You're almost 50 years old. No need to be so kancheong and make so much noise every time you pick up a call from the hotline.

"Whooo!! Wah!!! I feel so kan cheong!!???!!"
"How ah?!!"
"Oh my god!!"
"My heart is pumping 100 beats a second!"
"Alamak how?! Sheeeeessshh...Whoa!"
"I'm so scared!!?!"

It's quite loud and rather distracting....
Sigh.

=========================
Auntie L....I know you're busy with alot of things...No need to keep harping on it to me too...
I have alot of things on my plate as well you know...:)

You keep saying you're going mad...but...sigh...anyway...some of us are also busy too, if not even busier...

Of Animals and ......Zodiacs

In the world of fengshui, the Monkey's allies are the Rat and Dragon. The Monkey also has a secret friend, the Snake.

Suddenly realised that my insurance advisor/agent is a Snake. And more recently, I did some transactions with my DBS relationship manager and he is also born in the year of the Snake, though a good 12 years younger than my insurance agent haha.

Nadya is also a Snake. 

This Monkey gets along quite well with Goats too...Alyssa is a Goat. Ally, PQ, KH and Chiewz are all Goats too!

Musings

Nadya's usually not a morning person but she has good days when she wakes on the right side of bed and is cheery and agreeable. The other day when I woke her up for school. The moment she opened her eyes and saw me, she gave me a smile and said: 

"Mama, do you know that the rib cage protects the heart?" 

Hahah...thank you darling for that snippet of information! 

She had learnt it in school the previous day I think and obviously that piece of info was still in her head....:D

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Alyssa is growing fast. 

In the past month, she's suddenly speaking alot more and in proper English and sentences. 

Oh I feel conflicted! I'm happy that she's growing well but I don't want her to grow so fast! 

She's my last kid and if she outgrows her baby-ness....then there'll be no more squishes for me to cuddle anymore...:(

Conversations with a 4yr 3 mth-old

This morning, while getting ready for work and school, Nadya patted my tummy and said:

"Mama, you wear this dress, cannot see your belly. Hehe."


zzzzz.....
Ok noted my darling, I should wear this dress more often then... haha.

frustration is .....

when you are sick and are woken up by your fussy kid a second time within one hour. And when your kid is crying and kicking and refusing to listen to you. And when your kid insists on you fanning her back to sleep because “it’s very hot”. And when your kid then says after 3mins that “it’s very cold”. And when you start crying out of sheer frustration and anger. And when you feel as if your blood vessels are going to burst. And when you beg your kid to sleep through the rest of the night and stop waking up, while you sob uncontrollably. And when your kid finally does go back to sleep but your mind is now so fucking charged up that you can’t get back to sleep even though your body wants to. 

Yakkity Yak

It's been a lot of talk today. Abit too much for me lol. This introvert needs a break from all the talking and socialising.

The day started with a breakfast meeting with an old and close friend from the industry. An hour and a half of talking.

Came back to the office thereafter and immediately had a 20min discussion with the boss. Cleared a little work....

And then I had a lunch meeting again. More talking for another hour and a half. Came back to the office and had a 15min discussion with a colleague....

Bah, too much talking liao hhahaha...I think I'm done for the day...I don't want to talk anymore and shall hide in my cubicle till the end of the work day lol......

My sore throat wasn't doing too good last night....It still hurts now.  :(

Imagine

It was a fleeting image but it brought me warmth and anticipation. 

I was walking back to the inlaws place yesterday evening when I saw a mother with 2 primary-school-going daughters. The older girl was probably 10 years old and the younger one was 7 or 8. The two girls were dressed in long cotton nightgowns. One had princess characters printed on the front and the other I couldn't see clearly but I guessed it would have been similar princess characters too. 

And then an image came to mind. It was fleeting...but it made me warm and fuzzy and brought a smile to my face. 

It was me with Nadya and Alyssa. They both had hair past their shoulders. We were all dressed in pyjamas. We were huddled together on a bed and it was a rainy night. Each of them were curled up in the nook of both my arms...and we were reading a storybook together....Nadya looked about 8 in the image, which means Alyssa would be around 6. 

*love* 

I wonder how they'll grow up to be...:)

woozy

Had a sudden but split-second wave of dizziness on Tuesday while buying lunch. My colleague was with me and I grabbed his arm instinctively. It was over in a split-second but I felt a little odd thereafter.

I've been lightheaded on and off since that day. Today's Thursday. I think I'll go see the doctor tomorrow....hope it's not low blood pressure or anything though some of my symptoms point to that...

Presentation to the Minister

Did a presentation to a Minister today. It was a short session peppered with small quick discussions here and there. All in all, the session lasted only 20mins. He was rather quick-witted and could grasp things easily.

Oh the amount of preparation that went into it....the clearance and number of emails that went into getting the slide deck ready...the number of calls I had with my counterpart in the Ministry.....the nervousness I felt for the entire day yesterday (which thankfully dissipated when it was time to "perform")....All these did not commensurate with the duration of the session....just 20mins lol.

Am just glad it went well. Partly it was because the Minister himself was a friendly and approachable person. Very affable and no airs about him. He made jokes here and there as well and was generally very easy to talk to.

Glad this is over!
Good experience...

Chilli

I grew up in a Peranakan household. And of course, chilli and other spicy stuff were a part and parcel of life. I can't recall when I learnt how to take spicy food but I do remember eating prata and curry when I was in P1 or P2.

Even when my granny could no longer cook and my mum took over, there was usually at least 1 spicy dish each day or every other day. Otherwise my Dad would get upset and complain that the food was bland haha.

Ever since I moved out of home in 2012, I've been eating mostly at my inlaws place where food is usually lighter and not spicy. Curries or vege lemak were occasional treats. :)

Recently, I'd developed a craving for sambal and chillies to add to my rice. My MIL gave me a bottle of green and red chilli sambal that they had made. A recipe that they accidentally stumbled upon when they ran out of red chillies and made do with green chillies. The sambal turned out great....and yeah, I made my liking for it known and voila....I was thus given a bottle of it haha.

I think greedy me took too much of it yesterday....I'm poo-ing more today....and erm...my intestines feel spicy....:(

3 Jan

My first day back to work in 2018.

Before I even stepped into the office, I received a frantic call from one of my registrars and spent the next 45mins looking into an ops issue of theirs.

Sibei busy day.

More discussions to come later....Just finished my dabao-ed lunch!
Back to work!

p/s: about lunch.....made the mistake of ordering fried rice instead of getting something lighter from subway....boo.

2 Jan - Decluttering & Packing

I refused to work on the first official working day of the new year. Heh.

I took leave and spent the entire day packing my room and bits of Nadya's room and running errands. Managed to squeeze in a nap and a short walk/jog as well. It was a tiring day...but fulfilling too.

I cleared my desk, cleaned out 2 drawers as well and re-jigged some stuff in the bathroom. K sorted out the entire kitchen and all the storage cabinets there. He found a roach and many roach droppings in the process too. :( Need to step up hygiene levels and nag at the helper to do so too.

We threw out 3 big black bags worth of rubbish.

There will be more to come when I start working on the girls' old, broken toys or those with parts missing here and there. And maybe even more again when I decide to shave off part of the mini garden outside and when I take a look at what we have in the storeroom.

It'll be an on-going project de-cluttering the whole house...
One area per weekend? Take another 2-3 days' of leave to do so? I dunno....see how....

Jiayou to us!

2018 - Less Junk, Less Gunk

Happy New Year!
May 2018 bring to everyone more good things! Huat ah!

For me, my theme, or motto, or mission, or whatever you call it.....for 2018 is "Less Junk, Less Gunk".

Yup. Less junk and less gunk in all aspects.

Work
- focus on the key items
- see if I can speak to the boss and throw out the melodrama associated with ops
- minimise interactions with toxic colleagues

Relationships
- focus on those who matter
- weed out toxic relationships or at least minimise interactions with these people

Home
- throw out or donate unnecessary stuff (glad that I've donated at least 3 bags' worth of kids clothes to some village in Myanmar already...)

Body/Health
- eat better, eat cleaner, eat lighter (I've let loose over the last 2-3 years and it shows....both in my blood tests and my erm....wobbly belly...)
- more fresh air!

Relac

Today is the last working day for me for the year 2017.

I bochup and wore jeans to work.

I got myself fried beehoon and my fav chicken wrap from Old Chang Kee for breakfast.

I went to Ichiban Boshi for lunch with my team.

I had a very light lunch of a half a rice-bowl of soba + 2 pieces of sushi so I'll probably be having milo and cream crackers for tea-break soon.

I got some stuff cleared and am working on a non-urgent piece of work now.

I bought 2 tops online earlier in the day.

That about wraps up my last day of work for this year!

May 2018 bring more good things to my family and loved ones, my girls, K and me....
Huat ah!

Peanut's in N1 Santorini

Peanut's having a hard time adjusting to N1...her transition over the last 3-4 weeks has been terrible with long bouts of crying in the mornings. My heart aches to see her cry every morning when the teachers peel her away from me.

Just spoke to her form teacher and apparently these 2 days has been bad after the Xmas break...She has her good times where she manages to laugh and play. But she gets emotional and is easily triggered into crying, especially when she sees her former form teacher walking by her class....:(

I've told Nadya to try to take care of Peanut and give her some support if she happens to see her crying. But I think that might be too much to ask of the 4yr-old, who has her own class activities to handle.....

I hope Peanut adjusts soon...This is the 2nd or 3rd time I'm talking to the teacher already...:(

Peanut...jiayou!
Dada, Mama and Jie jie love you loads!

lists...

I shared an article on FB a few days ago. It was about the invisible mental load of mothers.
Let's see...what's my mental load?

1. Weekend menu planning
2. Weekly grocery planning list
3. Stock-taking of food and supplies at home (tried outsourcing to the helper to no avail)
4. Monthly online grocery list (mainly bulky items, homecare products and frozen food)
5. What to get to keep the kids entertained and/or stimulated? 
6. Which days will the school be closed?
7. When are the girls' excursions? When do I need to fill up and send back the consent forms and make payment? Do they need to dress up in PE attire on that day? What do they need to bring on that day?
8. What class activities are the girls doing next week and what art materials do the teachers need us to contribute? 
9. All other stuff that the school sends out on a weekly/daily/monthly basis
10. Which toys need to be thrown away? What old clothes need to be kept or donated? 
11. Are the girls growing well? 
12. Xmas presents 
13. CNY angpows 
14. What CNY goodies need to be bought?
15. When is the helper taking her off day?
16. Is the helper doing things right?
17. What does the helper need to concentrate on this week or next week or the week after? 
18. Has the helper completed the extra stuff I asked her to do last week?
19. When do we need to celebrate the inlaws' birthdays? When do we need to celebrate my parents' birthdays? When can we do Mothers' and Fathers' Day celebration for both families?
20. When are my checkups? Do I need to do anything before that?
21. Am I doing the right things?
22. Do we need to do anything for the neighbours for Xmas or CNY?
23. The curtains need washing
24. The aircon needs servicing
25. The windows, cupboards, fridge, utility area and storeroom need to be cleaned from time to time
26. The plants, whatever is left of them, need to be pruned 
27. Need to cut my hair!
28. Have I paid my bills?? Credit card, my insurance, the girls' insurance, mobile?!
29. Need to "trim back" the organically growing piles of junk everywhere in the house
30. Need to....
31. Want to...
32. Am I....
33. What do we....
34. When are we....
35. And the list goes on......................
36. and on...................

Genius Peanut

Had the most vivid and awesome dream last night. I remember waking in the middle of the night thinking "Wow! Just wow!"

In the dream. Alyssa was a super duper child genius. At the age of 2, she was representing IMDA and Singapore at a United Nations forum. Yes, at the age of TWO haha.

She spoke passionately about an issue in particular. Grand hand gestures and all. I can't remember what issue though. And in the dream, she was speaking in that baby voice of hers, poor diction, unclear pronunciation, lisps and all haha.

But still! Being the genius that she was, she convinced many countries to take the same position as Singapore and everyone voted to not ratify an international treaty of sort...Again, I can't remember what the treaty was about. The delegation from Singapore, with her as the main speaker, had a resoundingly successful trip to that forum!

The organisers must have given her a very tall stool to stand on because I remember her head just peeking over the lectern when she was speaking haha.

This is probably the most awesome dream I've ever had!
Hahaha...I woke feeling so proud and elated, even if it was just a dream..... :)