每天都是第二次机会

Heard this from Deng Kai's interview....Thought it was meaningful..

每天都是第二次机会, 我要做的更好

K-morning

It is a k-pop morning. 

Of past and long ago kpop songs and some OSTs...with the likes of.......

Mad Soul Child - Dear

Henry - Trapped

Boyfriend - Janus

Yoon Mirae - Always

Kang San-e - Salmon swimming up the stream

Taeyang - Eyes, Nose, Lips

Im Chang Jung - The Love I Committed

Henry - Radio

of toast....and....lizards

I like toast. And I always make toast for breakfast except on days when I need to go to the office. 

Ever since I found a lizard in the toaster a few months back, I've been making it a habit to check first before I use it. Every single time. And I'd give the machine a jiggle as well. TO be doubly sure. 

I did the same this morning. 

And wondered why I saw a "flower" at the bottom, on the crust tray. 

Nabeh. it was a lizard's hand. 

AGAIN???!!!!! 

We took so much effort to keep it out ever since the last round. Are there other holes in the machine that it somehow still got in??

:( :( :( :( :( 

Took me awhile before I got over my squeamish-ness to use the toaster again after the last round....and now it's happened again.

Bleah....just glad I didn't toast the fella...(eeeewww)....

11 April 2026

Hello Mama.

It's been 12 years since you left us. 

I miss you, and I hope you're keeping well wherever you are. 

It was a rough start to the year but I am surviving, and trying to keep my head up, at least high enough to be above water. 

The rest of us are doing good. Dad's ok with his walking stick and hearing aids, still watching his football matches and Youtube videos. Mum's ok too but is probably more tired than usual, having had to run around quite a fair bit visiting her sister in various medical & healthcare institutions. Adrian was doing good till a few weeks ago when he injured his knee again. He can't run anymore and will need to undergo surgery again in another 5 days. 

The girls are ok and growing well enough. Squabbling ever so often but also loving each other in their own ways. Big one's settling well in secondary school and small one's paving her own way in her various pursuits: academic, prefect duties, and her Brownies CCA. K's doing good too except his knee gives issues from time to time. 

Please watch over all of us and keep us safe, healthy & happy....I love you and I miss you...

Tooth. Chipped. Again.

FML.

Had lunch halfway then realised my "repaired" tooth chipped again. The "jigsaw-puzzled" piece that was "glued" back with resin didn't hold up and dropped out again. 

This time round, I couldn't find the piece. Wondering if I swallowed it. 

Angry & upset & worried about my tooth. 

Have to call CGH Dental again to see what can be done. Might have to do crowning already. 

And....

I was eating at Mac again when it happened. 

Mac dun like me is it? ........................

7 April 2026

Tuesday morning, we had our usual quarterly breakfast meeting at the Mac near our office. Boss’ quarterly treat. I chose to have corn that day with my breakfast set.

I was 95% done with my corn when I bit into something hard and spit it out. It was a small piece of something white/cream-coloured so I didn’t think too much of it and threw it onto my tray. Thought it was some odd piece of plastic or stone that somehow got into the corn.

Some minutes later, I realized something weird. My tongue felt something jagged on an upper right tooth the 2^nd pre-molar tooth after the incisor.

$#@^tq%$%$^q$#@^%

My tooth chipped!!! And that hard piece of something I bit into was part of my tooth!

FML. I panicked but somehow had the presence of mind to retrieve that chipped off piece and kept it in my pocket. I called CGH Dental when I got back to office after the meeting and was very thankful I managed to get a slot the next morning. I was also thankful that though the chip was quite a big one, it did not affect any nerves in the tooth and I did not experience any pain.

The dentist initially said he could do a filling to patch up the chip. I asked him if it would help if I still had that chipped off portion.

Lo & behold! He said it was good I had it as he could use less resin instead and could also do away with shaving more of the tooth structure, compared to if he were to just use resin only.

And so….voila…

He “jigsaw-puzzled” the chipped off bit back to the main tooth.

It was a slightly uncomfortable process. I was tense throughout and had my hands clasped together in a prayer. Didn’t help that he nicked my inner cheek in the process and only realized when I pointed it out to him. Left me with a 5mm cut that swelled up so much it was uncomfortable to eat...zzz.

BUT…I’m still glad & thankful that the chip has been resolved. I hope it can last for at least 8-10 years?

Pursuit of Jade

Been awhile since I was so smitten by a drama. Pursuit of Jade, no points for guessing.

Lemme see…what were past dramas that kept me enthralled not only due to the visuals of the actors & actresses, but also storylines, beautiful cinematography, chemistry between the leads, 2^nd lead pairings, etc…

1. Goblin
2. W: Two Worlds Apart
3. Heirs
4. DOTS
5. Prisoner of Beauty
6. Blossom

There must have been some more but these are top of mind at the moment…

Gave up K dramas since several years back and so I’ve never caught big hits like Crash Landing on You, Attorney Woo, etc…am sure these are solidly good too..

========================

I watched Zhang Ling He in My Journey to You. Watching him this time round felt different. He has improved alot compared to few years ago. Happy for him! Micro-expressions are alot better...and his eyes speak more too.. :) 

Games

Word games & puzzles...

Me like but...

Staring at the phone too long

Makes my eyes hurt

Staring at the PC monitor too long

Makes my eyes hurt too

Paper based ones don't have that level of complexity

Or the level of instant gratification 

So...what gives? 

A mix of both maybe...

越老越......

越老越孤僻

越老越想躲在一个角落

越老越想一个人呆着

越老越不想社交

越老越 anti-social 

Hmmmmm

Jan, Feb and even early March was madness

I am thankful things have settled down abit more and there is some room to breathe. 

But I find myself still rattled and not at peace. Slightly irritable, emotional. 

Unsure why. 

Hormones? Mid-life existential crisis? Perimenopause? Menopause?

Talk

N & I had a talk a couple of nights ago. I can’t recall how it started and everything.

But we touched on some of her frustrations and big feelings. How she feels we all love A more and think A is better, how A always gets away with things, how when N & A are being rowdy but N is the one who gets the scolding…and then it morphed into other issues like how K is too strict, and how I am too grouchy/grumpy at times, and how she misses our own space at Blu-Coral, etc…

I apologized and shared with her that I am still learning as a mother. I may not be right all the time and I have my own failings. But I’m trying and will keep trying to improve myself as well. I did share that it was sometimes very difficult to talk to her especially when she was having an “attitude”, and how it made me feel a little sad when she snapped at me or didn’t want anything to do with me. I spoke of how I felt her attitude toward me had a big shift in 2023. From having had a 免死金牌 from her…to me being somewhat like a baddie

I guess being abit more open with each other helps?

As the kids grow, and I get older (and more grumpy), I guess it’s a constant effort having to adjust to how to interact with them…

Just thankful that they are still open to sharing things with me...

Of doodles

Jotting down for vanity reasons. 

I was at Parkway Parade on a Saturday a few weeks ago, seated on a bench within the mall, waiting for K to walk over from Eastgate building. 

I started doodling while listening to nice Chinese pop songs blasting from a nearby gelato shop. I was pretty immersed in what I was doing. Head bent down, right hand doodling, left hand bopping to the music. 

I'd briefly had the impression of 2 girls getting up from the bench on my right, and then moving away. 

Suddenly one of them stopped in front of me and said "I love your art!"

I looked up. It was a teenage Indian girl who spoke with a non-local, non-Indian accent. Can't place where she came from. I smiled and thanked her and she walked away with her younger sister. I applaud her courage though. At that age of 13/14/15, I'd not have the courage to tell a random stranger this...:)

Made my day! 

Shen Hu Xi

Staff took long to come up with an SOP. Late for some months. I cut her some slack on this. 

Quality of the SOP is not there. I gave pointers on how to improve 1st draft and formatting which sucked. 

2nd draft came back. Formatting still sucks. certain paragraphs don't flow and don't make sense. 

Taking deep breaths. 

Kitty

A has a journal that she sometimes writes in. She named the journal “Kitty”.

While looking through her P5 English file a few days ago as her teacher asked for parents to sign some worksheets. I came across a small paragraph she wrote, where she shared about having Kitty and why she had Kitty.

“Sometimes I feel down and want to talk to my mother but she is at work, so I write in Kitty instead.”

☹☹☹

After all these years, I still feel unbalanced quite often. At work think about family. At home think about work. 

Time

Wherefore doth time's fleet passage hasten so, slipping through mine fingers like sand through an hourglass, ne'er to be reclaimed?

We're into March already.

Even Nadya's WA1 is over. 

The March school holidays are coming soon too. 

Too fast.....

Viu

And after years of resisting. 

I am now...officially subscribed to Viu. 

Lol...got it from the 3/3 sale over their official Shopee store. 

Voila......no more annoying ads to test my patience...! 

爬山

Jie is probably going up Kilimanjaro now. 

I wish for a safe climb up & an equally safe descent for her. May the weather & terrain be good & smooth throughout the 8-10days. 

Jiayou Jie!

Music

When we were still at BluCoral, after we sent the helper away, I'd spend my Sunday mornings going for a walk, and then settling down to iron the entire week's worth of work clothes & uniforms. Or I'd be doing some cleaning & dusting around the house. 

And while doing chores or ironing, my Chinese music playlist would be playing in the background. 

I don't think I did that ever since we shifted. 

It'd been a year and 3 months since we shifted. I'd forgotten how it felt...till this morning when I played that playlist again, while pottering around my room & the girls' room to wipe window grilles, surfaces, hidden corners, etc. and pack some stuff. 

It felt emotional yet rejuvenating at the same time. :) 

Jay Chou, Stephanie Sun, Jacky Cheung, David Tao, MayDay, Jolin Tsai, Tanya Chua, Amei, etc... Thank you for accompanying me this morning!! Brought back lots of memories from 20+yrs ago too! Lol...

Dong Dong Dong Qiang

And just like that...CNY Days 1 & 2 are over. 

Angpows distributed, angpows collected. Nails painted and now smudged and chipping. Most hee-hee-ha-has are done and some forced smiles and conversations are over. 

Had my fair share of lapis (not enough!) and bak kwa (not enough!) haha...

Had enough of love letters and packet drinks already though...too much sugar in the system liao lol...

Just pining for some quiet time in my corner. 

Too much socialising drains me. Though I am glad I caught up with some relatives...like my not-so-little cuzzie. 

Happy to see that the girls are a little bit more aware of who's who this year. N is doing ok on this aspect and has a clearer picture of the family tree, including extended family and non-blood relatives. A is still struggling a little on this lol. She'll get there slowly over the next few years haha. 

Fighting!!!!!!!!!!!

继续走 

我不愿意被绊倒 

Recent weeks have been challenging. Due to some self-entitled folks. There've been complaints, at least one case a week for the last 4 weeks. 

Today's case brought alot of stress. Really alot of stress cos my stomach was just scrunched up the whole day. The guy complained to the Ministry, to the PS. And now alot of senior management of both ministry and agency are in the loop. Sigh.

I cried twice today. 

Pek chek. 

But.........

继续走 继续走

我不愿意被绊倒