There once was a girl
Who loved to laugh and play
With all her pretty little friends
Ho-Hum they went
As they skipped and danced
And giggled and sang
As she grew older however
She laughed less
As morosity and pessimism
And uncertainty and fear
Grew their tentacles
And kept their vise on her
Let me be!
She cried angrily
Away with you monsters!
I want to laugh and dance
And be merry again
Go away and never come back!
Try as she might
Hard as she fought
It was hard to get rid of them
At certain times
She did get peace
And the motivation to carry on was strong
She met others who told her
Look into yourself
Dig deep down
Where doth your faith lie?
Where doth your strength come from?
Seek it and nurture it
Still seeking...
Still nurturing...
=====================
Thought I handled things pretty well the 2nd time round. Kept myself busy and tried not to think too much about anything..and well..just let things be..Then the delay just got my defences all down again..found myself sobbing last night..at the slightest thing. yeah...the emotional, irrational me.
so many pple are going overseas..xl n kym are going japan, celebrating xmas there..win going taiwan..oso spending xmas there...radio going to pakistan soon...the cet girls are gg bkk in nov..pq just came back from bkk..lydia just came back from hk..just hearing all these made me weep last night..i know..shallow thinking on my part...but then it's quite frustrating when u can't go and dunno when you can go..and then u hear of all these people going...and sharing their joy with you..(wtf..hmm..selfish of me..)
there's a lot of pent up energy within me..dunno why..i go to sleep restless. i wake up restless...i go through the motions of the day restless. hmm...frustrating. my forehead is clasped in a perpetual frown and i'm having tummyaches cos of my constant tenseness and grumpiness..am i i just stressing myself for no apparent reason? and it's driving me nuts...nothing much to do at home..watch tv, read book, surf net, read papers and you repeat the cycle all over again. and today's only tuesday? I still have 10 more days to go at least before 11th oct..
i wake up thinking...it's yet another day..damn how am i gonna spend this day?
shit..i have to wash myself clean of such thoughts..i can't allow myself to get down in the dumps again..argh..BUT there's nothing to keep myself occupied!! there's nothing to keep myself busy!!! there's nobody to keep my mind off things!! there's no work to do to keep my thoughts from wandering!!! there's no colleagues around to talk trash with you!!!
it's been a week since i last saw him..exactly a week..offered to come on sunday but flew my kite. disappointed but anw, he's not obligated.
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