S.O.P.

I'm not the one performing the operational duties on a daily basis. 

I wonder why I'm at times more familiar with the policies and SOPs than the 2 ladies handling these issues on a daily basis. 

Why why why?

How can I train them up better? How can I help them help themselves? How can I get them to be more independent, meticulous and up to speed on things? 

I hate to use age as a factor against them and I truly believe that despite their age, they can do it one....But after various incidents over at least a year, I'm starting to wonder if my belief in them was built on shaky ground.

I want them to do better. But have no real idea what else I can do to get them to up their game. Been mulling over this on and off for a long time....

Wishes

2022. For the year ahead, I hope to:

• Find the strength, determination and self-awareness to keep up with self-care and self-management, including building up my stamina and fitness slowly
• Learn and grow more at work, focus on areas and processes that can be improved (kaizen!), and figure out how to manage and work with my team better so they can grow further as well
• Be a more patient, understanding and organised parent
• Keep up with relationships, both with family and close friends
• Keep up with my hobbies, however varied they may be and whichever my heart brings me to at a particular point in time
• Stay grounded, positive, hopeful and find more peace!

Buzzwords

Intention. Focus. Mindfulness. Kaizen. Self-awareness.

Bienvenue 2022

As usual, 2021 went by in a jiffy. 

2021 felt more stable compared to 2020 though as we were all more or less settled into school and work-from-home routines already and I also started the year being at least 3 months into my new job role. 

While there were some frustrating and sometimes anxiety-inducing lows, there were fulfiling highs as well. 

I am thankful for the good stuff:

1. Happy to have spent time with the girls here and there. I quite enjoyed those months when we weren't allowed to visit others, as meals were at home and we could do stuff together. Though I have to be frank too and admit that there were times when I needed some peace and quiet alone time lol. 
2. Glad that my parents and in-laws are generally doing well. Old age ailments plague my parents here and there but nothing too serious and they also managed to go on at least 3 to 4 cruise trips. Glad they've also managed to keep in contact with their friends. 
3. As we settled into working from home, I'm thankful to be "colleagues" with K at home haha. At least we get to lunch together sometimes and on several occasions we settled errands and groceries together too during lunch.
4.  One long-drawn 2.5year project finally concluded! Other to-do items brough over from past years have slowly been cleared off too!
5. While managing the team brings frustration and exasperation at times, I'm still glad that some team members are very willing & able to work hard and produce good work. Thankful to have heard from an external source that I was put up for promotion by my bosses, though it was eventually rejected by the biggest lady boss who wanted more time to observe. I'm glad to be considered and also glad for it to have been put on hold. I don't hanker for and I don't need a promotion right now. Don't feel I am up to the mark yet. 
6. Managed to dabble in various hobbies from gardening to word search and sudoku puzzles. Managed to explore brush calligraphy a little and even learnt some basic Korean on my own through Coursera. Didn't manage to continue with the Korean or brush calligraphy though due to lack of time. 
7. Glad I kept up with close friends and also managed to meet up with some of them like Ally + PQ, ET, KH, SP + J, etc...

May 2022 bring an abundance of good stuff to the girls, K and I. May we stay blessed, happy and healthy always. Onwards and upwards!! Yeah!

Curtains

Every year in Jan, we go through this cycle of sending our curtains to the laundry. We have 5 sets of curtains: my room X 2 sets, girls' room, study room, and the living room.  

We usually send 4 sets for a wash first: my room X 2, study room & living room. When these are ready, one will be used as a temporary set for the girls' room while their set goes for a wash.

In the meantime, laoniang's room remains bare and naked and laoniang cannot walk half-naked out of the bathroom because the neighbours can see....Laoniang also wakes when it's dawn because the windows let light in fully and when it's mid-day, laoniang can "suntan"...In a way, I feel like I am in a greenhouse haha. 

Once in a year affair....;p

For the record

Milestone achieved.

Nadya trimmed 2 of her fingernails by herself on 29 Dec 2021. One snip got too close to the nailbed though and I took over thereafter...but still....yay! She did it! 

Tried teaching Alyssa how to do it but her fingers lacked the strength and dexterity to handle it so I let it be for now...in time to come....when she's ready. :) 

Songs from the 8yr-old

After her shower....she was somehow in a Chrismassy mood...and started singing....

"Sewer bells, sewer bells.....it's Cwismas time in the city..."

"Sewer bells, sewer bells....soon it will be Cwismas day...!!!"

She's turning out to be as lame as her pare...I mean her Dad....lol.....

Conversations with an 8yr-old

In a restaurant somewhere in Suntec City on the 1st day of 2022. 

Nadya: *grumbles* why is the food taking so long...*whines* I'm hungry....*grumbles* uggghhhh....

Us: It's only been 5 or 10mins. They need time to prepare the food. You need to be patient. 

N: Patience is not my name. 

Bratty much. -_-
When this gets too much and one fine day K loses his own patience with her, she's gonna get it good....

Of plants and....plants!

Serissa seems to have stabilised and is no longer dropping leaves. She might have had a shock during the initial days when she was first brought home and placed in the balcony. She seems pretty ok now and I intend to repot her into a bonsai pot, prune off 2 of her long branches and rewire her a little. I hope my experiment goes well...!

===============
The ficus ginseng is doing well. I pruned off a big branch that was spiralling out of shape and dunked it into a cup of water. That was at least a week or 1.5 weeks ago and the cutting is still doing pretty well. None of the leaves have turned yellow or dropped off! I'm amazed. 

The aerial roots are doing well and some of them have found their way and rooted themselves into the soil below. I'm happy to see this but I'm also wondering, with so many aerial roots rooting themselves in the soil, how do I actually repot the bonsai next time ah.....hmm.....

Time for more youtube videos? Lol.....

===============
I made a simple terrarium each for Ally & Peiqi for Xmas. I'd gotten the airplants about a week or 2 prior to assembling the terrarium and was trying to keep them alive and well haha...

They were simply made, nothing too complicated because, laoniang is not so creative and I think being minimal is still better haha. I think the last time I made them a terrarium for them was almost 10 years ago. Also for Xmas and they were fittonias in round ceramic mugs. 

But hor silly me, I forgot to take a photo this time round. :( 

===============
Ex-neighbours Serene & Chin swung by a couple of days ago on 23 Dec. She was complaining that whatever plant they had on the balcony of their new place seemed to shrivel up. 

I ended up giving them 2 types of my 打不死 的 plants hahhaa....Gave them around 3 to 4 aloe vera babies and another 5 to 6 byrophyllum babies. I hope the babies survive! 

===============
Fingers a little itchy to order some plants. But the minimum order of $100 is putting me off. I saw some really nice bonsai type of plants though...Let's see how....

K & I were at IKEA last week and I wanted to get a pot of ficus ginseng to work on again. But....the stocks at the Alexandra branch were quite dismal with no nice root formations. 

大哥 TY

Had lunch with TY yesterday. A 大哥 whom I've known since 2007 when I joined the company. I knew him for just a few months only before he was seconded out to another agency but he made effort to keep in touch with folks from our side. 2 years later he was posted back to our agency and we resumed our friendship. 

We talked about kids, work, ex-colleagues and some other random stuff. 

While we are not extremely close, I am still thankful for this brother-figure in the organisation. Someone who is quite capable and rather senior who knows the ins and outs of the place. 

He's a bull. Over the years, I find that I get along quite well with bulls, goats (or sheep?), horses, roosters, some rabbits and the occasional rat. ;p

===============
TY & I were at Raffles City for lunch. It seemed like many many people were on leave The place was crowded and my senses were a little overwhelmed. Throngs of people young and old were in the basement. Some just milling around, some queueing for food, others were moving around going somewhere. 

Was thankful that K dropped me off at the building.

I was jittery and had to plug my ears in with some instrumental music when I made my way to the restaurant. Been quite awhile since I felt overwhelmed in a shopping centre and I was glad I had the presence of mind to bring my earphones along. I could feel my palms sweating and my hands/fingers were so fidgety. 

I was glad we were seated against the restaurant counter in a corner, just slightly away from the main bustling area in the restaurant. 

Hang in there Ms Serissa!

I think Ms Serissa is in shock. 

From being sheltered, in aircon and under a growing light, she was moved to a shaded but partially bright area with natural wind and air, and surrounded by new "neighbours". I released part of the wire that was holding her top branches in form as well, as I wanted her to breathe a little better and have a chance to spread out more.

She shedded several leaves this morning when I to check on her. 

I hope she adjusts soon to her new home and neighbours. 

I wanted to repot her and prune her as well but I think I'll lay off and let her settle down first. 

Serissa

Bought a serissa plant yesterday, a tiny one which has been wired into an odd non-bonsai shape haha. 

But good enough for me to experiment and try growing it as a mame bonsai since it's less than 20cm tall.  

I hope I don't kill the plant though...It looks rather cute!

Plants again!

Sort of came to a conclusion that the only plants that seem to thrive under my care (or lack of) are the 

• Various airplants I have
• Indian Borage
• Aloe Vera
• Byrophyllum

The aloes are spring up babies here there everywhere. I went from 2 pots to almost 10 pots at some point. Till I got sick of them and threw a bunch away. I also stopped retrieving the babies and repotting them because.....no space. 

The byrophyllum is another 打不死 plant. Self-propagating with no need to look after. It multiplies like nobody's business and I'd probably have hundreds of them by now. I saw people selling them on shopee for $2 a small pot. I was thinking if I dilligently looked after them and collected all the baby sprouts and sold them, I'd probably be at least $1,000 richer by now. Haha.

The Tillandsias are doing well.
The Caput Medusae I bought online last year spiked earlier this year. I left the spike on but realised the plant would not birth if I left the spike as it was. The plant was using up energy to maintain the spike instead of diverting that energy to birth a pup. I hardened my heart and chopped off the spike and voila.....a pup really appeared within a few weeks. So happy! The pup has been growing steadily and at a fast rate too. The mum expended alot of energy though and is starting to shrivel a little. 

The Xerographica is doing alright and growing longer tendrils. Happy and no qualms about how it's doing!

My plants!!

Wrightia Religiosa
Aka Water Jasmine. Aka 水梅.

I made 2 cuttings from the bonsai over the last weekend. 

I hope they both survive. One is a pure cutting and the other was hived off a section of a root it sprung out from. The latter cutting has some small roots to begin with and I have higher hopes for it. Strangely though, it seems to be doing worse than the other cutting. :(

Some online articles say it takes 6 weeks for a water jasmine cutting to root, others say shorter....Whoever is right...I still need to wait at least a month or more. 

===============
Shopping
I went a little trigger happy and ended up with 4 pots now on their way to me from China. 2 are Nordic style concrete looking ones (and maybe alot less functional but what the heck haha). And the other 2 are somewhat bonsai style pots. I'd prefer simpler plain and glazed ones but somehow ended up with those. 

Shipping was only available by ship so...........the pots will take their time and bob over the sea to me.....I think they'll only arrive in 6 weeks?

===============
Bonsai
Been on a bonsai roll again and am now quite gian to order some plants to make my own bonsai again. Maybe another 2 pots?

The ficus ginseng I did 2 years back will probably be laughed at by a bonsai expert...but oh well...I'm just a noob experimenting haha. At least the plant didn't die and it's thriving with aerial roots appearing recently. So happy to see those aerial roots. Protecting them with straws for the moment, a hack I chanced upon online. I hope they grow strong enough to root into the soil. 

===============
Indian Borage
I had 5 or 6 pots I think. Left one downstairs in the common garden a few months back. (It's still there but getting super unruly). Threw one pot away last Friday. Trimmed back 4 pots to tiny shoots only 2 or 3 inches high. They were getting unruly and had branches growing 40cm tall or drooping down and getting long and scraggly. I couldn't stand the messiness and did some heavy heavy pruning. 

Of appearances and ..... confidence?

Just realised that I've received many comments about or related to my appearance since I was young. Most of them were from my early 20s onwards. 

• Why don't you get braces?
• You should trim your eyebrows.
• Do you want to get lasik?
• Why are you in glasses now? You look better in contacts. 
• You lost weight, you're so skinny. Please eat more. 
•  You look better now with more weight after pregnancy. But you could tone up. 
• Do you want to go for laser skin treatment on your face? 
• Do you want to get botox?
• Maybe you could get eyebrow embroidery. 
• I can bring you to my aesthetician. 
• You have many large open pores, you should use this XXX product to help close them up. 

I usually ignore or say no or just smile, shrug and change topics.

At times, I wonder to myself if I look that terrible. At other times, I wonder if K gets such queries or comments as a guy. 

And I wonder too if the accumulation of such comments over the years sub-consciously affects my confidence and self-image. I sometimes think it does. 

Nadya has recently been talking on and off about "fat", "thin", etc. I don't want her to get an unhealthy mindset about body image and/or having to meet other people's expectations. May need to sit down and talk to her in the future about this if need be. 

Pls germinate!

Been holding off for quite awhile. But with a recent revival of my interest in bonsai, I've finally sown some seeds collected from the Water Jasmine 2 years back. 

I hope the seeds are still ok and I hope at least some of them germinate. I planted 8 of them. Fingers crossed that this noob gets at least 1 sprouting from the 8. 

If I had planted them right after collection 2 years back, who knows, I might have a seedling (or two) worthy of repotting into a bonsai pot by now. 

I've been toying with the idea of digging up a small Water Jasmine plant from the park near my place. But then I'd probably be "damaging" public property. There's no way I can do it in the dark of night as I'd need a torch to see whatever it is I am digging and then someone would see me. There's no way I can do it in broad daylight...someone would spot me too and then I'd appear in a photo sent to NEA or NParks or something. I'd tried to cultivate cuttings from my original plant but to no avail....

So I can only hope the seeds germinate...lol. 

 

Breathe.

Patience is still being tested by the 2 executives. 

After kids, the elasticity of my patience expanded. After having a helper, it expanded too. 

Sometimes, close one eye (or both) lets me live longer and have more....peace. 

With the staff, I never thought my patience would be tested that much again. 

If I cannot change them, do I need to change myself??

Before my already expanded patience expends? 

Year end mad rush

Of work - chasing partners, chasing staff, chasing other teams, penning down performance appraisal points, doing up preliminary workplans and budget for new FY, etc

Of Xmas - gifts, gifts, gifts, wrapping, wrapping, wrapping, meet-ups, research for gifts, never-ending list of gifts to get....neighbours, relatives, friends, family...food...

Of packing - if the old doesn't get thrown out, the new can't come in...

Of prepping for the new school year - books, wrapping, uniforms, shoes, stationery, bags, socks, and everything else in between

Of self - trying to set aside time to think, breathe, reflect, plan, and rest...

Year end...

就这样，又过了一年 。回头看一下，这年是个着么样的一年。

有失有得 ，有进有退，有喜有忧。。。

虽然没什么大突破或能张扬的大成就，但也至少感恩生活，孩子和工作大多是平静的。

今天是十二月一日。。能感觉到自己渐渐地进入个 reflective and pensive mood。

希望这几个星期内能找到一两天属于自己的空间，坐在一旁在自己的思维中游着。

2021

2021 has been a year of....renovations....

I'm surrounded by 3 neighbours. The unit directly in front of me was sold and its new owners did a major overhaul with renovations lasting from Feb till June. The unit diagonally opposite me was just sold and the new owners started renovations in October, which will last till year end. The family in the unit next to me decided to upgrade certain rooms in their apartment and just started renovations today, and it'll be till year end as well. 

All renovations involved major hacking and ceiling work. 

i.e. major dust, major noise, major drilling, major hacking....

My nose is pretty sensitive. I think I'm gonna get another round of itching and runny nose...I hope it doesn't escalate to a cough again...:(

Fingers crossed.

:( 

On a lighter note...the whole year has been full of "renovations" in my work as well...many policy reviews and updates and patching up of SOPs, policies and processes....lol...

Neuro

Saw the neuro doc on 15 Nov. Given the all clear. 

Nothing funky happening in my brain. No recurrence, which is good. He mentioned I need not have an MRI or CT scan for the next 5-10 years at least, or more if I am comfortable with not doing anything. Happy to hear this. 

After 15 years though, the surgical site is still sensitive. Doc said it was normal. Some folks are more sensitive, some less, some end up having that area numb most of the time. We'll all just have to live with it.

So I guess, I still can't lie down on my right side. I still can't brush my hair and touch my scalp in that area. And I still have to remember not to rub too vigorously on that side when I shampoo my hair. 

Other than these small inconveniences, my brain (or my "coconut" as my original neuro surgeon put it)....is all good!

And I thought it was nice of this current neuro doc. He told me: "Don't let this hold you back from anything." So sweet and thoughtful...