simple joy

 The feeling you get, when your kid likes the food you cook and asks for second and third helpings...:)

*beams*

Work Restructuring

Restructuring will be coming in a few months.  

I'll be leading a new team that is really a consolidation of 2 existing teams together into one bigger team. 3 existing headcounts + 1 new hire. I'm happy with a small team. Dynamics easier to handle. It helps that there are at least 2 people in the team I trust. I hope to get a good person in for the new hire as well, my replacement really, just pegged at a more junior grade. 

Part excited. New challenge to see how to improve or move forward existing workflows and tasks. And how to handle new arrows coming our way. A consolidation like this of 2 teams has never been done in the unit's 20+ years of existence. 

Part nervous. Hope I am up to it. It will likely be an all-female team. Hope I can handle all the emotions lol. (It is true, more ladies in a team = more drama). I know too that there are cans of worms here and there. I just hope the cans are small, tiny, shallow ones. A very close colleague will end up reporting to me. I hope our relationship doesn't change too much. With our chemistry and understanding of each other, who knows, maybe we can get changes and improvements smoothly implemented. 

Part wary. Taking over The Coll's portfolio actually. Yeah, I've not mentioned The Coll in here for quite some time. But yes, I told my boss that if she "choot pattern" and is uncooperative and not open to sharing information about current or past processes and handling of tasks, he needs to step in. He gave me his assurance and also intends to personally get involved in the whole transition. Which is good. 

It'll be a learning journey starting in a few months' time right through till next year...
So on the workfront, I think my tasks and aims are more or less set in a certain direction already...
I hope I grow well in this journey...

Work

I'm mostly ok with the work I am doing. Some parts are more enjoyable than others. 

But in the recent one year plus, I've been feeling a little frustrated about things. In local parlance...I think the word "xian" is apt enough. 

I guess it's because of how some of these issues have become long-drawn. Very long-drawn. Through circumstances I cannot control. 

• Issue #1 is a policy issue which had to go all the way up to the Minister. It's a long standing issue which by right could have been cleared easily but noooo....it's been dragged on since Jan 2018. And through that...I had to ensure a Minister change (which means re-briefing everything right from scratch)....and now I kena a CEO change (yes, which means yet another re-briefing from scratch). This issue is coming to 3 years. zzzzzzzzzzzzz. 
• Issue #2 is an international relations issue...one that has dragged on for more than a year and which was started by someone else who has since left. For some reason now laoniang is holding this baby... And I've gone through 2 big meetings with the old CEO and management just to push this thing through....and now yes, CEO changed so yes rebriefing again...This project has also had obstacles at almost every turn of the way. Praying this will clear up and get settled soon. Many many redtape involved to the point I feel like puking sometimes. The tons of files and links I have to go through sometimes and I still don't understand some of the processes or can't find what I want. 
• Issue #3 is an industry relations issue. Partner management if you may. Channel management too. Operational too. Some partners have been giving me issues since 3 years back. And we are still trying to solve some of these bit by bit. Other partners have been giving me headache since a year back. And we are still trying to solve these slowly here and there too. 

Restructuring is coming in the next few months. Part excited, part nervous, part oh I dunno...!

Plants

Airplant Tally to Date

1. 1 Xerographica
2. 2 Ionantha
3. 2 Druid
4. 1 Spanish Moss
5. 1 Brachychaulos (or at least I think it's a Brachychaulos)
6. 3 Caput Medusae!

Total = 10. Crowding out my balcony table liao...hmm...

Really love how my very first caput medusae is turning out...it's leaves are getting longer and starting to curl and twist quite abit. Guess the fresh air and natural light is doing it alot of good. :)

===============
Water Plum

Leaves turning yellow again...I don't know why. Is this a cycle it goes through? But so often? Turning yellow means they start dropping off too...and now it looks like it's getting a quite sparse and bald again. :( 

Fingers crossed that it holds out and sprouts new shoots/leaves/buds again. 

===============
Butterfly Pea

The cuttings are doing ok, though a small branch had its leave drying out and falling off over the last few days. While they're doing ok and somewhat surviving, they are not thriving either. I don't think there's any new shoots or leaves coming out...

Seeds that I planted a month back....only one sprouted. I think I planted at least 6 to 8? 

Ego Booster

Close colleague had a call with the boss yesterday afternoon. He shared with her on the upcoming restructuring and that she'll be reporting to me thereafter. 

Apparently he shared some good stuff about me too. Something along the lines of him having learnt alot of things from me and he is still learning. And that I'm organised and good in English lol...

Oh well, we learn from each other lah...I've learnt various stuff from him too! Both work and non-work stuff. And I've also learnt (and am still learning) things from junior staff as well...doesn't mean they are my juniors means I can't or won't learn from them....

p/s: My English isn't very tok-kong or what. Just so happened that I have a slightly better grasp of grammar than my team-mates...so it makes it seem like I'm very good WAHAHHAHA...

Onwards and upwards!

长大了

 Voila.

Nadya's two front teeth just dropped off at her student care centre. One while she was having lunch, and the other one after lunch. They were already hanging precariously from her gums last evening. And she ended up eating some of my porridge instead. I had to cut up all her food into tiny pieces because she couldn't really bite into them....

Abit early for her to be singing "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth" though...

But still in time for..."All I Want For My Birthday is My Two Front Teeth" lol....

Yay, she's front-tooth-less like her cousin Caelee now haha...

p/s: I lost 2 teeth last week...and a week later now....It's Nadya's turn lol...

Wisdom no more?

6 Aug 20

I went to remove 2 wisdom teeth at CGH. Upper left one was done by extraction and bottom left was removed through dental surgery. 

It was slightly scary sitting in that chair and having my whole face covered up with surgical cloth, save for the mouth area. Strangely, I wasn't afraid of the LA injection they gave, 5 in total and 1 more in the midst of the surgery itself for I still felt some pain. The nurse said that was the most painful/scary part. I beg to differ lol. 

What was really scary was when the surgeon took out the drill and started drilling my tooth to break it down into smaller pieces. The sound of the drill in your mouth was deafening and I remember thinking I hope he has steady hands and won't accidentally drill my tongue or gum...It was also somewhat scary when he was cracking that tooth into pieces (you could hear audible cracking sounds) and then trying to pry the pieces out. Oh yes tasting the bitter coppery taste of your blood in your mouth is pretty scary as well. 

I was tense and halfway through the procedures, I realised I was relying on 2 coping mechanisms. One was to replay continuously in my head...visions of the girls saying "Mama you are brave and strong. You can do it! Yeah!" And the other was to pinch my left hand. 

It speaks volumes when they give you antibiotics for a 5-day course....but painkillers for a 7-day course. I took painkillers for 1.5 days but I think it was highly unsuitable for me. I felt groggy nauseated and disoriented and even had fainting spells on 2 occasions. Skipped the painkillers altogether and went without. The pain and discomfort was still bearable. Took me another 1.5 days at least to not feel groggy anymore. 

Anyway, it's Day 5 after the procedures. 

Laoniang is still eating porridge and soft foods for every meal, including soaking bread/biscuits in milo or honey. The swelling has gone down alot though there is still some residual swelling. I've finished my course of antibiotics already. I'm still rinsing my mouth with medicated mouthwash 4 times a day. I still can't lie on my left cheek. I still can't laugh too much or smile too widely. There are times when I turn my neck to the right too quickly and my left neck/jaw area hurts. I still can't wash or dry the left side of my face too vigorously. Lower left jaw still aches when I swallow anything, even my saliva. 

Hoping I will recover soon and quickly. Jiayou Michelle!

Looking forward to eating proper food again....I jio-ed K for an Astons lunch date when I've recovered. I want beef. 

427

Getting emo again over the sale of the house that I grew up in.

Things are moving fast. Too fast.
Option, option exercise. All done.
Tearing down, removal and disposal of furniture all done.

Window panes fixed to meet HDB's mandatory requriements.
HDB inspection done.
Now the buyer is getting approval for early renovation permit.


Trying not to think too much or remininisce too much.

The sentimental and emotional side of me is coming out strong again after lying low for several weeks.

I feel like I need a good good cry to flush it out of my system.

Jiayou Michelle.
Move on.
Your parents have.

Xerographica

The Xero is doing good.
I guess it was cooped up and kept in a ball at the store for a period of time and it's leaves were set in a certain way.

It's been here for 2 weeks and its leaves have loosened up in the fresh air and natural light. I see a hint of some curls starting to form. And the leaves have stretched out abit more compared to when I first got it.

I've more or less completed cleaning its leaves. There was somehow bits of dust and some soil (?) in between its leaves and while I'd cleaned most of them out on the day I brought it home, there was still some dirt stuck in deeper crevices. Had to use a cotton bud yesterday.

Hope it grows more.
Hope I can find a better place to eventually hang it up too. I believe when its hung up, its leaves will grow longer and curl even more....

early morning thoughts

忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空

这算是doormat的行为吗？
还是宽宏大量？
还是以大局为主？

退太多会不会令对方不知不觉的残生得寸进尺(或为非作歹...? ok this is an exaggeration)的行为？

在工作上
在私人生活上
在家庭中

hmm...

learning...still learning

Be patient when dealing with some junior staff. While they may be older than you in age, you are much more senior in designation. Due to age and a certain mindset hat has been honed over many years, some may be more stubborn or have a "fixed" way of doing things or have a certain "attitude".

Be patient.
Be mindful.
Be aware.
Be respectful.

But.

Still BE FIRM and assertive when needed.

==========
Trying my best not to flare up at a certain older staff member who tests my patience from time to time. I admit that I do have some bias against her. I am aware, which is why I am consciously working on it.  I am also conscious of it when I am dealing with her and will remind myself.

Also trying to come to terms with it that....some time in the next 6 months...she will be reporting to me when I take on another portfolio within the team....

Yes I Can

Been a challenging day with 5-6 calls, including a 2-hr plus Board meeting where I felt like I bungled the 2 papers I presented. (Boss later told me he thought I did pretty ok, not stellar but ok enough)

Brain zapped. Fried. zzz.

But the cooler evening, some energy from the kids, a stroll with K along the park connector after dinner (sans kids) and a nice shower has brought some sanity and energy back to me....

Clearing one more email for the day....then I'll indulge in some K variety liao and then it's bedtime...

*pat on the back*
It's been a challenging, but good day.

Onward, forward!
Ganbatte!

Long hair no more

Finally went to cut my hair yesterday. Chopped off 6 inches and my hair has gone from reaching the middle of my back to just touching my shoulders...

Happy to hear from my hairdresser, whom I've gone to for the last 12 years, that my hair was still in a pretty good condition even though it had gotten so long. The ends were a little dry that's all but they've been cut off. :)

I created a big mess at the salon with all my hair on the floor hahha...

Stomach spoil

When I try to be careful with what I eat, I'm told to relax and try and don't be so uptight about things.

When I relax and let go and eat, then this is what happens lor.

Stomach goes haywire...

Last week...Buffet on Wed, Mac on Friday lunch, a scoop of ice-cream on Friday evening, tried some green curry on Sat evening, had more than a few ondeh ondeh tarts on Saturday evening also...

And then....

Tummy hasn't been well since Saturday...
Felt a little of the acid reflux symptoms here and there. Abdominal and stomach cramps, bloatedness, general upper gut discomfort. Bad tummy ache last night. The slight breathlessness. The general lethargy that comes along everytime I get tummy issues.

I stopped the anti-acid pills since 23 March. The thought even crossed my mind if I should take some again. But no I shouldn't...

:(

More airplants!

We popped by A Tilly A Day yesterday afternoon after our anniversary lunch at Gyu Kaku.

Really lovely shop. The terrariums there put my amateurish ones to shame lol. They had both open and closed ones. Many of the smaller ones were just of moss though and the shop had many UV lighting tubes for the plants. Maybe that's why they usually keep so well in these shops but don't fare well when they get back to someone's home.

I managed to get the Xerographica that I was looking for. A whopping $30 bucks for a small one that fit into my palm. I'd probably be able to get it cheaper from a farm. But lazy to travel there. I ended up with 2 more Caput Medusae airplants too. One was grown from seed and looks vastly different from the existing one I have. Shop lady said it might be from the Philippines while the one I had was probably from Guatemala. The other Caput Medusae I got was very similar to the existing one I had. Somehow like their structure...:)

So yeah, my balcony's filling up....hahaha...

22 July 2020

8 years my love. :)
Since we had our Chinese wedding dinner.

8 years and 9 months
Since we had our ROM.

11 years and 4 months
Since we got together.

Thank you sayang
For being around.

Muacks!

Yay!

Brought the girls for a quick dessert fix at Garden Slug this evening. And finally! The plant shop Potta Planta next door was open!

Went in to ogle at their stuff and walked away with a pot of asparagus fern.
Yes, I love this plant....but lost the previous pot that Ally gave to me. It had succumbed to a mealybug infestation a few months back.

I hope this pot goes well. Will repot it tomorrow to a bigger pot and remove some browned stalks and fronds. Will explore if I can declump it and split it into 2 separate clumps...hmm....

Would have bought alot more at the shop.....if not for the exorbitant prices....
The pots are really chio...my style, my type. Monochromatic and duller earthy tones. Very simple designs with matching pot plates. Just one single drainage hole that I like. Raw ceramic and unglazed. Really laoniang's style.

But so so ex...a pot of 10cm height and 10cm width could set one back by $29....:(
For now, I'll just ogle and salivate at the pots......

If I'm successful at declumping the asparagus fern, maybe I'll get one small pot as a present to myself.....I'll just make do with plastic Baba flower pots for now...

#06-443

Quite sad.
Yes, I am.
Quite sad I am.
Yes.

The Tampines flat.
Has been sold.
Sold it has been.
The Tampines flat.

Memories.
Nooks and crannies
Granny.
Many.

Home.
Heart.
Love.
More.

==========
Buyer's a family with 2 daughters who are getting older and hence need more space. Lady of the house is 2 years older than I am. So maybe her kids are just slightly older than Nadya.

I hope the house gives these 2 girls as many good memories as it gave to me.
Whoever gets my room.....I wish that the room gives her good energy and comfort. And that she grows up well in that house, in that room.

zzzzzzzombie

Relatively zombiefied today.

Slept with the girls last night. At 1-plus, Nadya flopped over and half of her body was hanging off her mattress onto my tilam on the floor. And needless to say, she was on me.

3-plus, Alyssa woke and stomped over to my tilam. Squeezed in with me in that little space. The space is barely 70 or 80cm wide so I ended up getting squished on my side in an awkward position. Crappy neck and shoulders when I woke this morning. Didn't help that she sleeps with "flailing" arms sometimes. Macham octopus. I got whacked a few times in the night.

My engine has barely started and I'm falling asleep already. It's 9:15am.

Tahan!! Jiayou!! Friday already!

Of Hands and Feet....

Funny (and yet maybe also quite natural) how we don't really notice certain things about ourselves or even the things and people around us because we've taken their presence for granted already.

Was staring at my feet the other day. And suddenly realised how dry they were. Heels were dry and while they were not cracked, they had deep grooves. And erm....wrinkles and creases near the base of the foot. Many small red and blue veins as well. Decided to use baby oil to moisturise them that night and wore socks to sleep. They looked less dry the next day. I should do this more often.

Ever since CB started and I stayed at home and worked from home, I skipped using hand and body lotion. Hands are dryer now. Compounded by the fact that I'm washing my hands more too (because of more wiping, cleaning, gardening while at home, etc) I should start using some hand moisturiser again at least.