Hypocrisy

Colleague A complains to me from time to time about Colleague B.
"She talks bullshit. She always wants to win. She acts like she knows it all. She talks big. She's this....She's that....."

But then acts all chummy with that Colleague B in person. Giggling and gossiping together and walking to the MRT together after work.

Oh well, hypocrisy is everywhere I guess.

Not so good a Monday morning

Written at 940am.

Half wet dress, damp hair, wet shoes, wet legs, wet feet, wet arms, wet bag.  

Quite dislike the icky, squishy, mushy and mucky feeling of wet feet in wet shoes. With a few grains of dirt and sand thrown in the mix.

Reached office and added my dripping wet umbrella to the already existing row of wet umbrellas behind my desk. Boss came by and gave a chirpy quip: “Wah you all selling umbrellas ah?!”

I chose to ignore him. In fact, no one else bothered to reply him also. We don’t drive boss, we take the public transport and are subject to the elements of weather boss….

Spent 10-15mins cleaning and drying myself and the rest of my items up.

Ok, enough of early morning bitching. Time to get down to work….

Ganbatte on a cold morning!!!

What the {^*~€¥¥>*#{]>*#

How kns can this get? Been waiting for 45 mins for my bus. When I wanted to take an available cab, an idiot beat me to it. 

How not to get pissed? Sigh....

Munchies

Kinda screwed. I couldn't resist it again. I finished the whole Pocky box before lunch. Ai-yai-yai....

Traditional pen, paper, notebook

I've always loved notebooks. I've bought many simply because I loved their covers or paper quality but ended up not using them at all. 

I received this customized notebook from a colleague for Christmas last year but I've not used it yet haha. I've yet to find a purpose for it so I'm just gonna keep it aside first. :) 

Counting my blessings for today

1. A nice gentleman gave up his seat for me on the bus when I was going home. 

2. Had a relatively productive workday today compared to the rest of the week. 

3. Managed to "play" with Little Baby this afternoon. She'd kick, I'd tap my tummy at the same spot and she'd kick again. Went on for a good 10mins or so. :)

4. Will be going for ramen with K for dinner! 

Errrr?

A guy just greeted me at the pantry by saying: "Hi, 大肚婆!"

Given that we hardly speak to each other in office, and usually just give each other a nod as a greeting, it came as a surprise and honestly, I thought it was a little brusque.

Om Nom Nom - Part 2

Constantly hungry these 2 days.
Munching on something every 2 hours or so.
Feeling like a rabbit or hamster now.
Nibble nibble nibble.

Oh dear, Oh dear.
Started on chocolate Pocky.
Not so healthy a snack.
Nibble nibble nibble.

830am, 930am, 1045am.
1245pm, 230pm, 445pm.
More than a newborn's frequency of feedings?
Nibble nibble nibble.

Om Nom Nom

I'm stuffing myself with food already and my dear colleague KH just got me more food lol... My fav chicken feuillete from Delifrance. How ah? I keep eating!

Describing Singapore's political system

A friend from Hong Kong and I were discussing about different countries within Asia and eventually came to a conclusion that Singapore was a good place to reside and work in. He also recently applied for a job opening in Singapore and is awaiting news on the success of his application.

He added “Singapore is probably a good place to be in compared to the other countries. It’s got a good mix of conservatism and openness. The only thing is that your totalitarianism sucks big time.

I can’t say I am well-versed and knowledgeable in political regimes and ideologies. But I think using “Totalitarianism” to describe Singapore is an exaggeration. That seems kind of like communism already. (Or is it actually one and the same thing?) Maybe something like “Authoritarianism with a mix of Democracy” or “Guided Democracy” would describe Singapore better haha.

If he really ends up living and working here, I’d ask him again after he has been here for a year or so how he would describe Singapore’s political system.

Counting Down

2.5 months more only.

Getting jittery already. There are still things to be bought and done and packed and moved.

Enjoying this last stretch of mobility, freedom, flexibility and our "just-the-two-of-us" time.

Because pretty soon I think I'll only be traversing within the house with bedraggled hair and smelling of milk and baby poo lol...

Cheers to Us

Oh it's been exactly a year since our traditional Chinese wedding and almost 2 years since our ROM.

Happy Anniversary Baby! :))

Oh Basil!

Recently discovered to my dismay that all the basil plants I had in the garden had already perished. The helper didn't even inform me of it. :(

I'm glad though that I propagated a pot for Ally sometime last year. Now her pot has grown so beautifully and she's got a healthy, robust plant.

Haha, we've come full circle now and now I'm going to get a cutting from her to start up a new pot again.

So if this new cutting takes root, then it's considered the descendent "grandchild" of the plant I originally had! Lol...

Tired all week

Not been sleeping well, especially over this past week. Feeling tired and stoned.

Either the neighbours' dogs go mad in the middle of the night and start barking their heads off, or I just wake up for no apparent reason at all, or I wake to pee, or I wake up because K stirred in his sleep, or I simply wake because Little Baby is having fun stretching/kicking/boxing/punching in me.

Pale and blotchy skin, very dark eye circles, bouts of zits and bumps here and there. I have been uglified!

Really yearning for a full 7 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Doesn't seem possible though...:(

Feeling loved

Feeling blessed as well. So many people are taking extra care of me. :)

K has been an angel.

Even the cleaner auntie on my office floor holds the door open for me these days lol.

Friends have been giving me stuff here and there.

And I just received a Delifrance Chicken Feuillete Pie (my recent fav!) as an afternoon snack from my colleague from another division. Thank you Kah Hui!

Thank you everybody! Really appeciate it!

Afternoon Epiphany

I’m listening to JJ Lin and Sun Yan Zi at work today. It’s been awhile since I last listened to them

One particular sentence in Yan Zi’s song "當冬夜漸暖" stood out.

“多少次失望表示著多少次期盼”

How true.

The number of times you get disappointed is related to the number of the times you look forward to (or expect or hope) for something.

The more you expect, whether from yourself or from others, and the more you hope for something, the more disappointed you feel if things don’t go your way.

As Shakespeare once said: “Expectation is the root of all heartache”.

So well...let's all....   Live Simply. Give More. Expect Less. :)    

Breathe in Breathe out

一大清早来惹我， 真是的。*深呼吸*

我忍忍忍，不会为了这件事而让今天的心情被破坏！

美金，加油哦！！ :)

Lots of Good News!

Over the weekend, I suddenly received happy news that 3 friends are expecting. :)

Within this year alone, I know at least 11 friends who have given birth or who will be delivering by year end.

From Jan till now, I've attended 5 weddings and will be attending another one in August.

May there be more good news to come!

Bitchy Resting Face

There’s recently been a phrase coined by a filmmaker in the States: “Bitchy Resting Face”. It refers to an incurable syndrome, mainly affecting women but some men as well, where a person’s face seems sad or angry for no reason, even when the person is actually completely relaxed and not feeling foul at all.

In local lingo, people would call it the “chau bin” or the “black face”.

I think I’ve had enough people tell me over the years that I’ve got a “chau bin” face to conclude that I am a sufferer of the “Bitchy Resting Face”. Even when I am just “stoning”, some people who don’t know me well enough think I have an angry face.

It’s true what they say, that people immediately form an impression of you, within the first few seconds of having seen you. If people think I’m bitchy, then so be it. They don’t know me till they take the effort to actually know me. I’m not going to plaster a fake smile on my face just to please everyone.

Oh well. :)

Funky tastebuds

The foodie in me has become increasingly schizophrenic.

I'd be craving for a salty biscuit in this hour and by the time the next hour swings by, I'd be hoping for a sugar-laced drink.

I want a hot drink now because it keeps my insides warm and fuzzy. (Two hours later) I feel like having Milo Peng.

And so it pendulates.

Back and forth.

I want something simple, light and easy to digest, like tofu or macaroni or fish soup. (Next meal) Damn I really miss my mum's spicy sayur lodeh.

(In the day) I should be having healthy meals now. (Nearing supper) I want a cheeseburger.
(Then again, a cheeseburger has carbo, vegetables and protein. That makes a well-balanced meal, no? ;p)

Wonder if my tastes will change in the next few months....

敲锣打鼓

Little Baby is in an extremely active and feisty mood. I've been kicked, punched and boxed all day and night for the last few days.

Looking more and more like a panda now that I am having interrupted sleep.

0_0''

Realization

A big belly is a conversation opener. More people in office are talking to me these days  haha.

In love with...

The minions! So unbearably cute lah! If I feel down, watching them on YouTube never fails to make me grin again. :)  *bapoi*

Wonderful!

Woke up at 530am this morning to extremely crisp and fresh air. The feeling was awesome.
I checked the PSI and it was below 30 with the PM2.5 reading hovering in the 20s range.

The "un-wonderful" thing though was that I couldn't get back to sleep after that lol....

Semi Staycation

I feel like I am on a semi-staycation this week.

Why? Because I am bunking over at my parents' place while the kitchen at my in-laws' place is undergoing renovation. Apaprently, expectant ladies are "not supposed" to be exposed to the renovation knocking and banging and clanging noises because it is "not good" for the baby within.

And so I was whisked off to my parents' place last night.

================
I feel like a princess again. Mum is fussing over me. And of course, I'm not complaining. :)
   In preparation for my royal arrival, she stocked up on my favourite HL milk, Gardenia raisin bread loaf, Chips Ahoy cookies, fruits, green vegetables, fish, etc. She changed the sheets, stuffed one of my old pillows with new cotton, gave me a new fluffy peach-coloured towel and re-washed the clothes I was going to wear at home.

I'm going to have slow-stewed chicken soup with bird's nest at least twice this week too.

Feeling awesomely pampered now.

================

Nw that this is the first time I am back home and staying in my own bedroom ever since I shifted out almost a year ago, I realised several things:

• I miss K!!! And having someone by my side when I am asleep.
• I miss my old bed. The springs are just much firmer than my matrimonial bed.
• I miss the coolness of my home. Although the sun is shining brightly outside, I don't feel like I am in an oven.
• Without a TV in the bedroom, I tend to surf the Net more.
• And yes, I do miss the nightly documentary sessions with K...food network, discovery, national geographic, asian food channel, etc....
• I miss having a radio in the room! I used to listen to the radio everyday but stopped when I shifted over because we didn't have a radio in our room.

================

Speaking of radio, I was listening to Class 95FM last night before sleeping.

It was a night of hits from the 80s. Quite retro. I was doing a little dance and then I realised Little Baby was kicking haha.

We should start exposing her to more music. :)

Wistful

I miss Paris.

I miss the subway stations, La Seine, Le Pont Neuf…
I miss the nutella crepes, the baguette sandwiches, the pain au chocolates…
I miss the fashionable ladies, the suave men and the cute pooches so many Parisians walk around with…
I miss the sidewalk cafés, Le Louvre and how La Tour Eiffel looks at night...
I miss the “bonjour” people say to each other, stranger or not…
I miss the “merci, bonne journee” cashiers say to you after you’ve paid for your purchase…
I miss the “pardon” the French say when you’re in their way…

And I miss Nice.

I miss the apartment K was staying in and where I bunked for a whole month...
I miss the big supermarket we did our marketing at...
I miss cooking our own meals while we were there...
I miss the Promenade des Anglais, Vieux Nice, Cours Saleya...
I miss my favourite restaurant there Pasta Basta...
I miss taking the local buses and trams there...


*wistful* ......

The Peace of a Slower Pace

I’ve consciously slowed down my pace over the last few months. My walking pace that is.
And it’s amazing what doing such a simple thing has shown me.
You see more. You observe more. You stop and smell the roses. You notice new shoots growing from the pretty plants that line our roads. You notice how the sun’s rays get filtered through the leaves of trees and how the leaves themselves cast dancing shadows on the pavements.

You no longer feel the need to walk at an ever-quickening pace. You don’t feel the need to rush for the green man at the traffic junction. You don’t feel the need to run for the bus. You take your time even though other people are all swooshing past you.

You feel more calm and relaxed and less inclined to rush.

#takingthingseasy

Kitty Craze

I'm really curious why so many people are going ga-ga over the Hello Kitty toy that MacDonalds is selling with its meals. Week after week, you hear of people rushing to buy the toys. Over the last 2-3 weeks, people hstarted queue-ing late at night just to make sure they get their hands on a new version of the toy (a new version is launched everyday Thursday).

Aside from the profiteers who resell the toys online at exorbitant prices, I cannot fathom why someone would queue up before midnight to fight for a chance to buy the toy.

There are so many Hello Kitty fanatics in Singapore meh? But she doesn't even have a mouth....

0_0

Just discovered a new effect (or inconvenience) of being pregnant - itching.

An expanding body coupled with an expanding big belly is stretching my skin quite abit. The skin over my belly feels so taut at times.

It started yesterday at an area just below the right chest. I tried slathering on extra stretch marks cream and it helped a little. Now it's mid-afternoon in office, the itch has travelled to other parts of the belly and since I forgot to bring extra body lotion, I resorted to applying some handcream instead.

Trying my best not to scratch!

Pop Goes The.......

Belly button.
Mine’s popped out quite early I think, since a month ago probably. I’m feeling a little odd and awkward about it though because people can see it protruding slightly from underneath my clothes, unless I wear black. Colleagues are starting to point it out to me too haha.

Wah - Duhl

It's official. I am a waddling duck.

If I am already waddling a little now when the tummy is not as big as what it's supposed to be in the last trimester, I wonder how I will be walking in the upcoming few months.

Morning thoughts

The current haze situation has shown that there are too many keyboard warriors around, with many of them giving their complaints and views online, especially on Facebook. 90% of the time they are slamming the government, lamenting about the "incompetence" of the government, on the perceived "slow" response on the government's part, about why the government isn't doing anything to alleviate the situation, on why the government is or is not doing this and that......

Come on, cut the government some slack. You're not sitting in their position, you don't know what they are going through, you don't what difficulties they are facing on their end and you don't know what they are actually already doing. You're just holed up in your room or office jabbing away at your keyboard typing out these complaints.

It's always easier to complain and whine I guess. Instead of jumping the gun and being quick to point fingers, whatever it is, let's have more objectivity in our lives.

The dreaded haze

The haze doesn't seem to be abating one bit. The PSI hit a new high of 400 this morning at 11am.
It is still terribly hazy outside when I look out of the window. Everrything seems shrouded in smoke and dust.

I'm on MC yesterday and today though I am still clearing some work at home. Throat's a little scratchy and nose feels stuffy and blocked from time to time.

The heat's terrible as well and I have a headache right now. A dull ache that extends to my neck muscles.

I hope this doesn't affect the little one in me. And I seriously hope the air clears up a little by the time I get back to work next Monday.

My Special K

It was a long and busy weekend even though I was on leave on Monday. Everyday was somehow filled with activities and/or running errands. I was tired, grumpy at times even. 

Through it all, K was with me. Whether literally by my side or simply fetching me here and there. 

Thank you baby for taking care of me. Muacks! 

Happy lunch

Finally met up with TH for lunch today. It’s been almost 6 months since we last had lunch, even though we work quite near each other. Partly due to my work commitments earlier this year and then after that I couldn’t really stomach eating outside for the last two to three months.


Am happy for him. I think his relationship is going the right way.

And we all like this particular girl very much. She’s mature, very kind and thoughtful, independent enough, secure and definitely more stable/steady than his previous girlfriends.

Wonder if we’ll hear wedding bells ringing soon? Sure hope so!


p/s: the salted fish and minced meat rice at Crystal Jade was lovely!

Classic Conversation

I called out to our helper this morning. I knew she was on the 2nd floor while I was on the 3rd.


Me: Minah…?
She: Yes?
Me: Can you come up here for awhile please?
She: Ok.
Me: You come up now ok…..
She: Ok…
Me: *waits for 10seconds*
She: Mam, where are you? I don’t know where you are....
Me: *Sigh* I asked you to come up right? Where else could I be but upstairs? 3rd floor?
She: Oh ya…

Piling On

It’s been 13 years since I last crossed the 52kg mark. I’ve been sub-50kg since 2000.
On 1 June, I was 52kg.
On 8 June, I was 52.8kg

And this morning on 12 June, I am 53.4kg!!

Wah…1.5kg within 2 weeks. Am I supposed to be putting on weight at such a fast rate now??

Wow

I woke on Sunday morning and got on Facebook. I had been added to a long FB chain of messages, the first of which had been posted in mid-April. 

I spent the next half an hour trawling through everything and realized that this was a bunch of my old primary school classmates from my primary 6 class. 

I couldn't even recognize half of them and forgot that they existed till this message came up. Apparently they, about 17 of them, had met up on Saturday evening for a gathering but by the time someone found and added me, it was already Sunday. 

Huge blast from the past. 

I've not seen 99% of them for 21 years. Let alone speak to them. 

While I am curious, I am not very excited. I don't know, maybe I didn't really enjoy primary school that much. Like how I'm not close to my JC class at all too.  

Should I start eating ginkgo??

My smart cells are going to the little one in my belly. My own store of smart cells seems to be depleting. Case in point:

I got into the lift today at the 12th floor, intending to go down to the ground floor so I could get lunch. When I got in, I started jabbing at the button labelled "12"  and wondering why the hell it did not light up. 

By the time it dawned on me that I WAS on level 12 going downstairs, the rest of the folks in the lift were staring quizzically at me. 

I didn't know where to hide and just shuffled silently to a corner.....so embarrassing! 

Vestiges of time

We’re already into June, the middle of the year. Before we know it, we’ll be inching towards the end of the year soon.

Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. Time flies so quickly it is terrifying at times.

So treasure what you have in the present. But of course let’s look towards the future at the same time. J

Aunties

Two aunties saw me in office last Thursday and spoke to me.

Auntie A: Wah, promoted liao ah? Gong Xi Gong Xi!
Auntie B: Ya ya, gong xi ni! Congrats!
Me: Huh?
Auntie A: *points to my belly* Pregnant right? Promoted liao lor!
Auntie B: Now mother liao mah! So "promoted" lor!
Both Aunties: *starts cackling with laughter and poking each other on the arms*
Me: Ohhhhh....hahahha. Thank you thank you!


Aunties. They can be so cute sometimes.

The Buying Has Begun

After several weeks of doing research and also some procrastinating, the buying has begun. Between last weekend and this weekend, I've easily spent $1,600 buying things in preparation for the arrival of the little one.

It's been a fun time trying to gather and buy all these things from various places. Both online and in person.

More spending to come definitely. :)

Am touched as well that some sponsorships are coming in from family and friends lol...:)

Onward we go!

Woot!

After submitting a sub-standard piece of paper to my boss and getting nagged at as a result, I promised myself some weeks ago that I would not slacken anymore and will make sure I develop good drafts again. Afterall, writing clear and simple yet structured papers is something I feel is one of my stronger points.
I submitted a paper to my boss yesterday and he came back with a comment “Michelle, good draft!”
Yay, I did it! I got my mojo back!
Lol simple joy..:D

A leopard never changes its spots

I have an ex-colleague who has the habit of giving last minute excuses and not turning up for gatherings.

Nevertheless, I still invited him to my wedding last year and was extremely peeved when he did not turn up at the last minute even though he had told me he "would definitely be there". He did not even have the decency to inform me and only wrapped a cursory angpow which he got another ex-colleague to drop into my angpow box. He left me with an empty seat at the table. Nary a squeak from him. Is even an SMS so difficult to send out to inform me that you can't come? I thought that was very irresponsible of him.

When another ex-colleague was preparing for her wedding (which happened to be last Saturday), she asked me if she should invite him. I told her my reservations about doing so and cited the numerous instances he'd bailed out on us at the last minute. She said she'd give it a thought but eventually, she still invited him. "Paiseh to invite his good friend and not him...." she told me.

And what do you know?

He did exactly the same thing to her as he did to me.

Like a Balloon

I am literally feeling FULL of myself haha.
My bloating over these last two days has been phenomenal. I think it’s easily added two inches to my girth. And as such, it’s caused me to be a much smaller eater than usual. I couldn’t even finish my bowl of yong tau fu yesterday. Simply couldn’t take in much food. I hope today will be better!

The boss

Whenever we submit papers to our boss, he usually wants it in hard copy so he can physically edit it. He'd then pass it back to us so we can amend our soft copies and then submit them to the bigger bosses. 

I submitted a paper to him last week. He had made his edits to the paper and wanted me to send him the soft copy so he could help me amend.

In his words "In your condition now, I'll try to help you whenever I can"

But I told him it's still my job and I would do it. It's just editing papers, simple task. 

Lol so touched by his offer to help lah. This grumpy old man has his soft side too hahaha.

I feel so privileged lol. 

Buying

The buying has begun. More purchases to come next week. And in the upcoming weeks/months.

My dear pockets, hang in there! Don't go bust on me!! 

P/s: I'm utterly grateful too for the kind and generous gifts, donations and support (both monetary, intellectual and in kind) so far....:) couldn't ask for more! I feel blessed and am very thankful! 

Catching up

I attended an ex-colleague's wedding dinner yesterday. Both she and her husband were from LHUB as well and needless to say, a large number of guests were Lhubbers as well, both past and present. 

It was great meeting up with a number of them and I'm touched that some easily recognized me even though we were not that close last time and I'd not seen them for at least 6 years. 

It felt good catching up with them, kinda felt like one big family all over again lol. 

Good Saturday evening!

Great Friday!

Call me emotional but I sorta shed tears of joy yesterday.

Because I went to see Granny. After awhile of being with her, I asked her who I was and she managed to mouth the syllables of my name. I was so happy I told her "Good!" And gave her two thumbs up. She grinned and chuckled in return.

I'm not sure if she registered it fully in her mind but I took her hand and laid it on my belly and made a patting motion. When I let go, she continued patting and felt my belly from left to right and then left again. She was nodding and staring at me. I told her it was her great-grandchild and she nodded as well. I hope she really understood me. 

It has really been several months that I've managed to visit her at a time when she's feeling more alert and not in a dazed groggy state. 

Great Friday!

Growth

There must have been a growth spurt. Because within this week alone, at least 5 or 6 colleagues from other divisions asked me about how I was doing and how far along I am lol.

Comin' Home

A buzz and a tingle in the air
I'm a hoppin' and a boppin'
And a swishin' and a twirlin'
Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald
Come a flippin' through my ears
As I patiently await
Toe a tappin'
For tonight
When the King comes arrivin'

La Vie En Rose (English Lyrics)

Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs
And tho I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart
I'm in a world apart
A world where roses bloom

And when you speak...angels sing from above
Everyday words seem...to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose

What happened to you?

To go to and from the washroom, I need to walk past my boss' room. This afternoon, he waylaid me and called me into his room.

Boss: Eh alamak, what happened to you man?

Me: Huh??

Boss: Alamak! You used to stand up tall and proud and walk upright! Now look at you, everyday I see you looking so 'lembeh' and hunched. 

Me: *lol* Now I'm like that cos I'm having a backache mah. You should see me in the morning when I have more energy haha.

Boss: You're like a changed person! Shorter too, now cannot wear high heels right? *guffaws* 

Me: *zzzzz* 

I'm so different now meh??? No what...

P/s: his favorite singlish expression is 'alamak'. No points for guessing...:)

Help? Help!

This morning...

Breakfast was prepared incorrectly again....I thought never mind it's okay, trivial matter. I'll just remind and teach till the cows come home.

Then I walked out of the house and realized my black pants was furry and full of lint. Argh, not the first time. It's somewhat unsightly and embarrassing to walk around with spots of white lint on your black clothes, especially when you're going to have a meeting with external parties later that day.

I probably shouldn't be complaining. But sometimes, having a helper at home doesn't really help? 

Sheesh

Hmm. Someone in office just tried to cut me out of the equation on a small work item. Only found out when my boss forwarded me the email.

Dude, I don't mind handing it over to you. It's a small issue. But administratively and for proper governance, things still need to be ironed out and settled by me. I am still managing this aspect till 30 June.

Till then, back off...........zzzzz.

Joyous News!

Baby Darius Foo came into this world at 6:40 this evening with a hearty wail and weighing in at 3.12kg. He's a 50cm bundle of joy! 

Really happy for my cuz Suli!! :)) 

So good things do come to good people and to those who wait. :)))

Counting Down

5 more months. :)

Snippets....on a very drowsy afternoon......

• Didn't sleep well again last night. I felt like I was half-awake almost the entire night and I remember physically getting up and out of the bed at least 3 or 4 times, either to switch off the aircon or to pee. Totally zombified now. Can't concentrate on work.
• Mighty excited! Suli's gonna deliver anytime this afternoon! And another Baby Darius will be welcomed to this world...:) She should have undergone her epidural shot by now. Wonder if they've burst her water bag yet?
• Feeling slightly hungry but tummy is quite bloated. Herein lies the perennial question. To eat or not to eat??
• 3.5 more days till K comes home...

Transport Woes

#1. Massive jam on ECP last evening. What should have been a 10-15 mins journey turned into an hour long crawl from Kembangan to the Big Splash. Didn't help that I was feeling unwell and had cold sweaty palms throughout the whole hour. The taxi uncle was nice though and even apologized for making me go through the long journey. The care should have just been less than $10. It ended up being $22. 

#2. Loads of empty cabs this morning but none were willing to stop. I've heard of cabs ostracizing preggies but I'm not even showing that much so that can't be the reason why they didn't stop. Eventually a nice uncle stopped for me, 20mins after I started waiting for one. Looking on the bright side, after baking for a good whole 20mins directly under the bright sun, I think I manufactured enough Vitamin D to last me the entire week. 

Contentment and Happiness is...

....receiving a call at 510am from K and knowing he has safely arrived in Sydney. :) 

Disappointed

Singapore's transport system failed me miserably today. I couldn't get a cab despite trying for 20mins. I was in despair. Had no choice but to get on the bus. The jam was horrendous. 

I was rushing to get home and give K a hug before he left for his business trip. 

In the end, I reached home, just a mere 5mins after K had gotten on the cab to go to the airport. 

I'd missed him by just that hair's breadth. 

Seriously upsetting. 

It felt like a Channel 8 drama show. And I was the dejected one left behind...

Bleah!!

Didn't help too that dinner was not very appealing.....zzz

Keep up the zen Michelle!

Good. So far, I am maintaining my cool with a colleague whose favourite pastime seems to be:

• dishing out empty promises
• under-delivering work
• missing deadlines by a mile
• putting up pretenses
• over-promising anything and everything

Like I always say, you can screw yourself up for all I care, but don’t drag the rest of your teammates down with you lah........

GSS

I've never been much of a shopping person and I'm not one of those who goes mad during the Great Singapore Sale and buys loads of things.

But this year will be different. K and I have already identified various things we need to buy and we will be part of the crowd heading out to the streets and buying stuff. At least we more or less know what we want and don't need to forage around the stores too much lol.

GSS, here we come!!

p/s: My dear pockets, hang in there. I need your support lol.

That Awkward Period

When people are wondering if you're getting fatter or just expecting a child

When people greet you and their eyes invariably dart down to your tummy, but they are mindful of your privacy and don't say or ask anything. 

When they give you a guilty look because they know you discovered them staring at your belly

When they are brimming with absolute curiosity

When they start asking your direct teammates instead, if you're expecting

Lol, hilarious.

When you least expect it

Saw an office lady making her way home after work. Quite pretty with long wavy hair. She was in an office dress and ballet flats. Run-of-the-mill.

And then she took out a skate scooter from her bag and started skating to the nearby bus-stop. 

Way cute. 

Lol, even guys were turning heads and gawking at her. 

Paper Surgery

I knew at the back of my head that I was handing in a crappy piece of paper to my boss but I had little energy and zest to re-work it. 

Was called into the boss' room today and he told me the paper needed "major surgery". Bleah, I've only received such a comment one other time in all of my 5.5 years working for him and that was when I was a newbie. 

Sucks. 

BUT!!

I shall endeavor to tweak and polish it up till it shines!!! 

Being Up There

I spent 45minutes to 1hour reading through someone’s email, attached documents and formulating a suggested response to clear with my boss. I wrote 5 paragraphs recommending an action to take and sought my boss’ concurrence. He replied within 10 minutes and used only three words which probably only took him 30seconds to type: “Agree, please proceed.”

-_-''

I also want to be towkay.

Zombie face

I've not seen this group of friends for 6 months. I didn't want to disappoint them and also, I didn't want to chicken out of another social appointment so I decided to still go for a quick dinner with them. Plus, I wanted to share updates with them.

It was an unanimous reaction from all of them when they first saw me lol.

Are you ok???
You look terrible.
You sick???
What happened to you?
You're pale and your skin is blotchy!

I was feeling tired, breathless and a little queasy. But I didn't know I looked that bad. Bleah.

Things got better after I had a plate of pasta and some warm water. I was told some colour returned to me and I seemed to have more energy.

In any case, I stayed for only an hour. Sorry ladies, next gathering perhaps. I'll try to be more energetic then! Lol.

WTH?

Who the Hell Gives a 5-year-old Boy a Rifle as a Present??

Extracted from The Straits Times 2 May 2013

CHICAGO (AFP) - A five-year-old boy who was playing with a .22 caliber rifle he'd been given as a gift accidentally shot and killed his two-year-old sister in their Kentucky home, officials said. The shooting happened on Tuesday in rural Cumberland county, and the little girl was rushed to a hospital where she was pronounced dead, the state police said.

Cumberland County Coroner Gary White identified the girl as Caroline Starks and said the children's mother was cleaning the house at the time and had stepped outside onto the porch.

 "She said no more than three minutes had went by and she actually heard the rifle go off. She ran back in and found the little girl," Mr White told WKYT news.

Auntie Observations

Office Cleaner Auntie: 你今天看起来好像很累， 好像身体不舒服这样。
Me: 可是我看起来天天都是这样啊。
Auntie: 没有啦。 今天特别累。
Me: sigh......

I was telling Chloe my dark eye rings are even darker than a few months back and even darker than during the hectic event days.

They should invent a bleaching agent for the skin there....

History

When I was in my teens, I would be home in the afternoon on weekdays, sitting on the floor in front of the TV and surrounded by my schoolbooks. I'd try to finish my homework and watch TV at the same time. Granny would be sitting there in the living room as well, watching TV with me and at times if she didn't get the storyline, I'd have to explain to her. She was already somewhat hard of hearing at that time and often relied on the actors' facial expressions to conjure up the plot in her mind.

When I was done with homework or when the TV programme was over, she would sometimes tell me stories from the past. Vivid stories which enthralled me and had me imagining I was back in the 1920s, 30s and 40s. Maybe I should have recorded all those stories down. But this is always thought of in hindsight. Who would think of recording down such valuable and interesting information at the tender age of 15? It is regrettable to me now that I only remember some of those stories told to me.

Sometimes, she would tell her own story. How she came into existence, when she got married, how my Dad came into this world, etc.

When I was 17, she shared me her family tree. I don't know what hit me then but somehow I jotted down that information. On a TPJC foolacap paper lol. I must have been finishing up my homework when Granny started talking to me. There were many times when I was clearing my drawers that I thought to throw this piece of paper away but I'm glad I didn't.

Mum was helping me pack up my old dresser table drawer that day and when I went over to visit, I brought home a bag of the drawer contents to sort through at home. This piece of paper was in there.

Sure, it's yellowed and a little frayed at the edges but the ink has kept well with only slight fading. I think I'm going to digitise it for posterity. Transfer it into soft copy or something. Might show Dad as well, it's his lineage too afterall haha.

The Nuah Holiday

I've never been on a holiday where I spend more than 60% of my time "nuah-ing" in the hotel roomm. But well, there's always a first time. :) We did just that over the last week or so. Mainly because I am tired half the time and I can't walk far or long either. Am feeling quite bad for K as well since he's been the one dragging the luggage around and running errands like buying bus tickets and checking us in on the flights. And he needs to take care of me on top of all that. :( But we're going back tomorrow already. Time really flies, whether you're busy doing something or doing nothing at all. And oh yes, I still prefer HK over BKK. :)

Of Neuro Conversations and Coconuts

I went for my brain check-up about 2 weeks ago.

How time flies. The last time I saw my neurosurgeon (let’s call him JT) was back in 2009.
He said to me then “Things are looking good. Your scan looks great, everything’s settled and nothing is showing up. I’ll see you in 4 years’ time just to be safe and sure.”

And so I was back to see him on 10 April. While 4 years added wrinkles and freckles to my skin and more meat to my frame, JT still seemed pretty much the same, except for maybe a little more pudginess. He still looked pretty fresh. Wonder how he keeps it up.

JT: Hi Michelle. *flips my medical records*
Me: Hello.
JT: Wow, it’s been 4 years.
Me: Yeah...*laughs*
JT: So how’s your coconut?
Me: ???? Ah???
JT: Your head lah.
Me: Oh chey……

Lol…that was how we started the consultation. And then somewhere along the way….

JT: If you don’t mind, let me just feel your skull and see if there’s any depression where we opened you up last time.
Me: Orh ok.
JT: *prods around on my head for awhile and then stares at my head and face for a good 5 seconds*
JT: Ok lah, you seem pretty symmetrical to me. No visible depression or sinking in of the skull or anything. You should be doing alright inside your coconut.
Me: Orh ok. Good to hear!

Lol anyway, I’m scheduled for a detailed MRI either at the end of this year or early next year. The only thing he cautioned me was that he couldn't guarantee that there won't be a depression on my skull when I start hitting my 50s. We'll see how it goes till then.

My coconut will still stay safe for a good 20 years or more.

RIP Huang Wenyong

Somehow, veteran actor Huang Wenyong’s sudden death just this Saturday past has saddened me quite abit. My mum feels it too.

Maybe it’s because he’s a long-time actor who has been gracing our TV screens for the last 30 years and I grew up watching all his shows on TV. Maybe my mum feels sad because he’s around the same age as her and it strikes a chord within you when one who’s your age passes on.
In any case, 黄文永，一路好走。

Capturing a Life in Words

Back in February, I started on a blog post. The idea was a simple sraightforward one but the task behind it was quite mammoth. I didn't realise it until I started writing the first 2 paragraphs.

I chickened out and left that entry in draft mode till sometime last week when I picked it up again and wrote a whole lot more.

And then I realised, this can't be just a mere blog entry. The content alone would take up several A4 pages and if I were to add in photos, there would be much more pages taken up. The more I wrote, the more I realised that there were side stories and details which had to be thought through and maybe reasearched on.

And so, I have decided, I am embarking on a personal project.

To write Granny's story.

A biography of sorts.

From the time she was born till now, 97 years later.

Alot of it would be based on my own memory from what she shared with me when I was younger.
My current approach would be to draft up a skeletal framework of how each section of the story would be like and then fill it up with details later on, based on what I can yield from the recesses of my memory.

I have not shared this with Adrian or the parents yet but I am hoping that when I at least have a draft, I could then interview my Dad. I think he would be a treasure trove full of information to share with me about Granny. And then I can beef up the story with even more details and verify if the stuff I wrote was accurate.

I don't know if I am being ambitious.

This will definitely take a long time.

Granny

I don't think Granny even knew Dad and myself was there at her bedside yesterday.
She'd kept her eyes closed all the way, even when I was feeding her porridge.
Aside from that, she looked a little more gaunt compared to when I last saw her a few weeks ago.
Needless to say, she didn't utter a word.

Because she only opened her mouth a tiny bit for each spoonful I fed her, it took me more than an hour just to feed her her lunch. I was feeling tired and a little nauseous from the awkward position I had to be in to feed her. (I was sitting sideways on a chair and had to lean forwards each time).

After lunch, when we lowered her bed down, all she did was to continue keeping her eyes closed and then doze off to sleep.

I hope she'll be more alert the next time I see her.

Side note: The lady on Granny's left has passed on.....She had been there way before Granny started staying in the nursing home back in 2007. Sigh...

Auntie Conversations

I need to record this down for posterity. One of the most hilarious of auntie exchanges I've heard in a long time.

I was in the ladies at Parkway Parade eariler this evening. I was washing my hands at the sink when two Chinese aunties came in and they each went into a cubicle.

Very soon after, there was a flushing sound emanating from one of the cubicles.

Auntie 1: Eh, ler ho liao ah?? (Hey, you're done already??)
Auntie 2: Ya, pang jio nia mah. (Ya, just peeing only what.)
Auntie 1: Wah lau, an zua ler an ni geen? Wah doh ah buay teng kor go leh!! (Wah lau, how come you're so fast? I have not even taken off my pants!)


Another Chinese woman and myself started smiling at each other at the sinks lol....

*bored*

3.5 more hours to go before the end of the workday...and the end of the work week!

Itsies and Bitsies

I have not seen Granny for 3 weeks already. Looking forward to seeing her tomorrow.
I hope she'll be alert tomorrow. And I hope she recognises me.
I know she recognises my photograph because Dad told me so. He showed her the photos he has of me in his mobile phone.

===============
Decided to pamper myself a little last night and slapped on a gel mask. It felt really good.
And my skin felt somewhat refreshed. Woke this morning to see my skin still looking happier than past days. :)
Although it's still peppered with newly sprung up zits....-_-

===============
On a physical front, I still think that Joanne Peh looks better with Bobby Tonelli than with Qi Yiwu.

===============
Loads of weddings this year, I'd better start saving up.
One in April just past.
One more in May
Two in June.
One in July.
One in December.

Is the Year of the Snake is a good year to get married??

===============
I have been a total slacker at work over the last two weeks, especially this week.
Part of the reason is my zombified state and I can't really get down to doing much.
Another excuse is that I have an able helper doing some of the things and all I need to do now is to check her work.
Another excuse is also that....I am procratinating on some work because I don't want to do them and I don't really know how to do them lol.

Oh dear, I've been a really bad employee these 2 weeks.

Cute cartoon

Saw this on FB the other day and thought it was quite nice :)

C-O-U-N-T-D-O-W-N

And the countdown begins.

6 more months. :)

Time Zips By

Time seems to zoom past real quickly this year.
Seems like just yesterday when I was enjoying bakkwa during CNY.
It's already April!

What have I done so far?

Feels like I did alot and yet nothing all at the same time haha.

News These Days

It is somewhat depressing reading the news each day. If it's not some murder or theft or assault, it'll be some bombing or abuse or accident.

Maybe I should switch to reading trashy gossip magazines lol. Or maybe I should just watch "Keeping up with the Kardashians" or "Chicagolicious" or "Enews" all day long.

Ok, or maybe I should find myself another hobby.
I've fallen a little out of love with gardening and building terrariums though, ever since I shifted house.

Hmmm....What can I do....???

Happy Birthday to My Special K!

Bonne anniversaire mon bebe...Tu as deja 32 ans! Comme moi!
Enfin, nous sommes du même âge hehehe. :)

J'espère que tu reste heureux, en bonne santé et bénis toujours. J'espère aussi que tu peut réaliser tous tes rêves et espoirs.

Nous allons marcher ensemble toujours!
Je'taime tellement. Muacks!

Morphosis

The last 2.5 weeks have not been entirely good for me.

Nausea, giddiness and sometimes breathlessness has crept into my life. I walk at a granny's speed to minimise any of these from happening or from worsening. I have been auntified and have resorted to carrying a pack of preserved plums in my bag to chew on if I feel the nausea welling up.

I am particularly susceptible to noise, constant chatter and crowded places.

I can't sit hunched over for longer than 5 to 10 minutes otherwise the nausea and discomfort starts up. I try to sit ramrod straight and then I get shoulderaches or neckaches, especially on the bus.

I am emo as well though it comes and goes. Am trying very hard to keep a balanced state of mind.

I find myself becoming a bit of an anti-social person. I don't really go out. I go to office and then back home again. When I'm at home, I spend most of my time in bed, either watching TV or napping.

I pack my lunch and eat at my work desk everyday to avoid the crowd and stuffiness at the foodcourt. I've pulled out of a social dinner as well because I felt really unwell at the last moment. That made me feel bad.

I don't sleep well at night and I wake an average of 2 to 3 times per night. As a result, I am a zombie at work.

I hope this phase passes over soon......real soon.

Advice

Noticed that as people get older, they tend to dish out more advice, whether it was asked for or not.

I don’t know if I’m doing it as well, I hope not.

“You should…do this and that…”
“It’s better to….do this and that…”

It all stems out of goodwill and a genuine desire to help. Although I have to say it could come across as being bossy, instructive or nosey at times.

Perhaps a nicer way to provide advice to others would be something like....

“Have you tried….this other method?...”
“Maybe this other way could do the trick…”

Reminder to self….

Heart check-up

Cleared my annual heart check-up today. ECG results were normal. :)

The doc didn't comment on the blood test I did 2 weeks ago. And I forgot to ask as well. So I took the results home and compared it with the result ranges given by my health screening company last time. Everything's good. My good cholesterol HDL is in the highest range and the bad cholesterol LDL is in the lowest range. Glucose and creatinine is normal. Good!

I was nervous about the blood test results initially. I'm relieved now. :)

Ok, one more check-up next week for my brain. Been 4 years since I had a check-up for that.

Relationships

It is during those quiet times alone that thoughts float in. These few days I keep thinking about some of the relationships in my life which have been estranged, whether knowingly, unknowingly or because of misunderstandings.

Some of these people were a part of my life for a good few years. But I guess each of us have gone our separate ways for so long now it is odd and awkward picking things up again.

People come, people go. Not everyone is meant to stay. Maybe it is suffice just to see their updates, if any, on Facebook.

I should treasure those who are by my side and those who have been there for me all these while.

Sunny Days

The sun has been at its mightiest over the last 2 weeks. 9 to 12 years ago, if it were this sunny on a Sat morning , I'd rejoice for it meant a great day at Siloso beach in Sentosa. My friends and I would frolick in the sun, eat and sleep under its strong rays.

My mum always said then that we were mad. "Kids crazy enough to bake in the sun for so many hours"

I think the present day me would agree with her too. Lol.

Cheesy afternoon

We spent our afternoon today attempting to make cheese. Both attempts failed. :(

When googling for possible reasons for our failed attempts, we discovered that store bought milk is likely to be highly pasteurized at high temperatures, which affects the curdling of the milk into cheese.

We only managed to get small drifty bits of curd like in the pictures and not big smooth pieces. Bleah.

I hope

A close long-time friend of mine shared with me a few months back that he was considering getting a divorce. While he somewhat believes in the sanctity of marriage and the vows taken under oath to care for each other for a lifetime, he felt that cultural differences and the fact that they were living in different countries for most of the time had put a toll on their lives and he couldn't see how their future together looked like anymore.

I met up with him again last week and he was still mulling things over. He had just come back from his wife's home country alone after a tiff. Things didn't seem to be going well even though he tried spending a few months there with her and her family. I could feel though that he seemed more determined to get a divorce. We were just saying that it might have been a good thing that no children were in the picture otherwise things would have been more complicated.

I just received a text from him. His wife just told him that she's expecting.

Sigh.
I hope things eventually pan out well for the both of them.

Granny

It was a situation which sprung on us suddenly in the middle of January this year. She was still ok and responding to us when we brought her out during Christmas in December 2012. But in mid-Jan, Granny suddenly stopped talking. And then by early February, it seemed that she was not registering anything we said. She’d look at us, sometimes quizzically, sometimes blankly, sometimes grumpily, but all the while not talking. It seems as though she does not recognise us as well. Not me, not my Dad, not my Aunt, not my brother.

She can still feed herself though it gets as messy as a two-year-old feeding himself. Whatever it is, I am still taking this as a good sign. At least her motor skills are still there.

It has been 2 months since she’s stopped talking. Maybe I should be accepting this fact by now but I am finding it extremely hard to. Each week when I visit her, I still try to talk to her. My Dad still shows her photos and pictures of my family members on his phone. We talk to her, help to feed her and try to incite a response from her. To no avail so far.

I don’t know if it is a conscious effort on her part to refuse to speak or a part of her brain has just stopped functioning the way it’s supposed to. I miss her talking, even if it is about nonsense stuff or about things and deceased people from decades ago. At least I know she is thinking and processing some things in her mind. Right now, all we get are blank stares. We don’t even get any grunts, groans or sounds coming from her.

It is upsetting. It is always upsetting to see her deteriorating. And tears always flow when I think of her and how she used to be.

The windows to my soul

Had my eye check-up done yesterday.

While it was uncomfortable having had my pupils dilated, it was good to hear from the doc that the situation is stable. My retinas, though thin and scarred in certain aeas due to the high power in both my eyes, are still dong alright. The big piece of floater in my right eye is still there though and it won't go away.

One thing I learned, when your pupils are dilated, much more light enters your eyes. When you're in an environment with artificial lightining, you eyes still feel ok. But the moment you step into natural daylight and when the sun is shining brightly, you can't open your eyes at all. It's almost like blinding light. You start tearing too. Even squinting and opening your eyes just slightly feels highly uncomfortable.

Something I don't look forward to each year

Every year at a certain period of time, I'll get somewhat bogged down by the number of medical appointments and follow-ups and check-ups that I have. That time of the year is coming soon over the next few weeks. I have 4 appointments over the next week alone.

I forsee alot of waiting in the hospitals and clinics. Sigh.

Life moves ahead all the time

And so as I slowly close off one small sub-chapter in my life (APRICOT 2013), I am slowly opening another chapter as well.

Period of change. Adventurous times ahead!

Onward we go and onward I charge!

clothes

Desperate times calls for desparate measures? Lol...Ok I am exaggerating.
BUT, I think I really need to go shopping on Sunday!

Hmm

Someone said 12 years ago that with the type of character I have (soft, hates conflict, not much opinion, easygoing), I'd likely not survive in the corporate world.

Come to think of it, maybe that theory holds true. I've been in govt-linked or govt agencies for the last 9 years.

So much leave!!

My boss very generously gave those involved 7 days off in lieu for the event we did.
I have 21 days of annual leave. I brought over 16 days from last year.

I did not use up any leave this year yet.

Which means I have 9 months left to clear 37 days of leave and 7 days of off in lieu. 44 days in total. 

I forsee difficulty in clearing the days lol....

Afternoon Amusement

My mum can be quite cute at times.

She is at NTUC at the moment and just called me to ask "What is the difference between mint and peppermint ah? Which one should I buy to cook Assam Laksa with?? This is so confusing!!"

It's like trying to explain to someone what is the difference between banana and pisang raja or what is the difference between beef and fillet mignon....:D

APRICOT 2013

And so the event has concluded successfully. This must have been one of the toughest projects I've handled. I can't say I'm very proud of it because I think I coud have done better on several accounts. But still, I give myself a pat on the back for having survived the 3-year preparation for it lol. :)

There are still many post-event loose ends to tie up and settle. But at least I need not rush to get it done. :) Woot!