I wonder...

When I look at some people....they can sing, dance, act, play musical instruments, and are also good in a sport (or two), and can cook, and do well academically...and they look good...

Then I look at myself and wonder...

What am I good at?
What can I do?
What have I achieved?

Yes, I'm 36 going on 37 but I do still have self-bashing moments.......

Gong Yoo

It was through the movie The Crucible that I came to know about the Korean actor Gong Yoo. The move was released internationally as "Silenced". I'd read about it and decided to watch it online one weekend back in 2012. It stirred my emotions up so much that I researched on the movie, its background and its main actor Gong Yoo.

I started liking him since then. He was the one who championed for the production of the movie and in the midst of doing so, brought much attention from the entire country (of Korea) to the plight of the disabled children who were abused. The social uproar the movie caused eventually even brought about positive changes to the country's laws on handling abuse cases. Now that's something.

He isn't just a pretty face. At least he got out there and did something to bring attention to a social issue, even if indirectly.

I don't really chase K dramas. But during that period of time when I first came to know of Gong Yoo, I ended up watching the show "Coffee Prince". It was actually released in 2007 and I only knew about it and watched it 5 years later in 2012.

While he hasn't exactly been very active in the drama scene....he has got here a silent supporter. :)

And so now he has a new show "Goblin"...this silent supporter is doing what she has never done before...she's actually chasing the show now haha....

Peanut @ 15 months

She's such a cutie. Very lovable. Quick with her smiles and cheeky grins. Her actions are charming and totally adorable.

Height:
Roughly 77-80cm
That's 50th percentile for her age

Weight:
Roughly 9.5kg
That's also around 50th percentile for her age

Speech: 

• Besides the baby gurgles, her speech pattern resembles our speech pattern more these days. 
• She can say "mama" and "dada" and "cheh cheh" and also..."cheese" lol. I didn't expect that one of her first words would be "cheese" but it is. Maybe her love for cheese helped haha.
• It's been 2-3 months but she still says "shhhhhh" when you ask her to say "fish". Hahaha.

Comprehension:

• She understands "give (someone)", "pick it up", "stand up", "sit down", "no", "milk", "mum-mum", "change diaper"......
• She also understands "tiger", "lion", "dog", "head", "nose", "eyes", "mouth", "head"...
• She understands her favourite foods too. Stuff like "papaya", "watermelon", "mango"...and or course "cheese". I think she understands "bread" as well.
• She will respond with her version of a roar when you ask her "What does a tiger say?" or "What sound does a lion make?". She "barks" when you ask her what sound a dog makes...

Motor skills:

• She can walk on her own, although she is still not too steady yet. BUT...she chooses to hold on to our hands and walk because she knows she can walk and run faster if she is holding on to us haha.
• Her pincer grip is getting quite good. Maybe because I have been giving her small pieces of snacks for her to feed herself. :)

Food:

• She's not a milk junkie like her older sister but she loves her yoghurt melts, cheese and biscuits as much as her older sister does lol.
• She started out on porridge earlier than Nadya did. 
• She hates sweet potato and pumpkin
• She loves potato, carrots, papaya, mango and watermelon. 
• Cheese trumps EVERYTHING. Lol.
• She seems ok with pork, chicken and fish (though the fish needs to be fried)! Thanks goodness.

New foods for her to try soon:

• Baby pasta....She spit it out the first time we tried it a couple of months back. Hopefully she'll be more open to it soon. 
• Barley
• Oats. Same thing. She didn't take to it the previous time I tried. Hopefully she'll take it better now....
• Honey?
• Yoghurt?
• More eggs

And it's January 2017

New Year. Fresh start.

It's a slight deviation from my past years' thinking where the difference between 31 December and 1 January is only that the date is not the same.

This year...I hope for the fresh calendar year to be a new beginning of sorts. A clean slate again. A fresh start to things. Brand new year, brand new start, brand new hope, brand new fulfilment.

I wish for the girls to be happy and healthy and strong.
I wish for K & I to be happy and healthy too.
I wish for both my parents to be strong, healthy, happy and for many more years ahead of them. 

I've in mind some stuff that I hope to get going in the months ahead...
I hope I don't get distracted or lose the motivation....

Fighting!!

Friends

Parents are leaving on a cruise today.

At 1-plus, after lunch and while the cruise ship was still docked in Singapore, my mum whatsapped me a photo. It was a group photo of my parents and all their good friends. All in all, including my parents, there were 5 couples.

I felt all warm and fuzzy looking at the photo and seeing all of their happy smiling faces.

While I can't say I know each of the other aunties and uncles very well, I can safely say that I spent a considerable time with all of them when I was younger. All of them definitely saw me more often than my brother.

They all used to be members of the same country club and often went dancing or swimming or karao-k-ing together. My parents often brought me along with them...By then I was already in secondary school. On hindsight, it was actually odd for a young girl to be hanging out with a bunch of "oldies" haha...

That was some 20-odd years ago. Now the oldest of them is already in his 80s. Gosh...The youngest of them is at least 60 I think. All but one of them are retired. And each of them have their own fair share of health issues to grapple with.

What is heartwarming is that, everyone is still in touch with each other and still remain good friends. They explore places together, new shopping centres together. They go for senior citizen discounted buffets together and go for many cruises together. They lim kopi together and hog the seats at T3's foodcourt for 4 hours at a time just so they can chat together.

I think such friendships are hard to come by.

I'm happy for my parents to have such a circle of friends around them.

And I wish I would have my own similar circle of good friends too when I get to their age......

Now for another mad rush?

CNY!!!!! 28 Jan 2017.

Gosh, only a month more. Luckily I'd gotten my dress early on.
Now to concentrate on K and the girls and the stuff to get for both sets of parents....

I don't think I have the time to plan and execute a coordinated family look this year...
We went Peranakan last year :) And I'd actually hoped to do something cheena this year with cheongsams and such...but I guess...I'll have to leave it till next year haha...

Xmas 2016

It's been a long while since I'd last gone this long without a single post.
My last post was 9 Dec. It's 27 Dec today.

I guess it was a mixture of rushing to get everything ready for Xmas. Plus tending to the 2 girls. Plus tending to Nadya who was having a bout of diarrhoea. Plus attending various gatherings. Plus....Plus....Plus....

And so it was a whirlwind Xmas. From the months of preparations of all the gifts and the wrapping and the planning and research...and the flitting to and from 4 gatherings/parties. I had to miss the gathering with the sec school buddies this year due to a clash with K's family Xmas dinner.

I hope Alyssa enjoyed herself. While she may not understand the concept of receiving gifts yet, I think she had fun looking at all the different houses and she definitely had fun at my brother's place. She was shrieking and crawling and laughing and playing with balloons for a long time while she was there haha.

I think Nadya definitely enjoyed herself. She had fun opening her presents and she's gotten herself attached to several of those gifts. Namely, a pair of Frozen fork and spoon set from my parents, a butterfly bag from Ally and a Frozen storybook from my brother. I've had to go through every single picture on every single page of the book at least once, if not twice, for the last 2 nights before her going to bed. Mind you, there are 174 pages in that book. Zzzzzz... haha.

I'm happy to see the two girls happy.
I'm happy to see my friends happy.
I'm happy to see my parents happy.
I'm happy to see my parents happy when they play with the girls.

Today is Friday!

Thankful that I was part of the team to work from home today as part of my company's Business Continuity Planning exercise. We were role-playing a flu-pandemic scenario....

So yes, I didn't really do much work today. But I still had to stay online both on Watsapp and Skype as well as clear my emails promptly.

I was thankful though, for the opportunity to wrap the remaining gifts stashed away in the storeroom. And thankful to have had some time to finish crafting some of the gifts. I was wondering when was I going to ever have the time to do them up and finish wrapping the presents actually haha.

Am I all set for Xmas? I don't know. I hope so. I hope I didn't miss out on anyone's present!

Now lemme see....what should I wear for the annual Xmas eve party at my uncle's place...

hmm....mother liao but must still look nice...hmm hmm....:D

Of Songs and Classics

And so...these are the recent sound tracks we've been playing for Nadya...and....she's loving them...
I'm loving them too...:)

On occasion, we'd let her watch the videos on YouTube...When she's older, we'll definitely let her watch the movies as well. These are absolute classics that I love and I hope she would love too!

1. Shall We Dance - from The King & I 
2. Getting to Know You - The King & I 
3. Do Re Mi - The Sound of Music 
4. So Long, Farewell - The Sound of Music  
5. Spoonful of Sugar - Mary Poppins  
6. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - Mary Poppins 
7. Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast 
8. Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo - Cinderella 
9. So This is Love - Cinderella 
10. A Whole New World - Aladdin 

Things I am thankful for today

1. On hindsight, I'm just kinda glad that Nadya's sudden fever on Saturday was probably due to her teething. One huge-ass molar is cutting through her gum on the upper right corner. And it's making her cranky and painful as hell. Just glad that the fever was not due to something else. 
2. Peanut is walking already...:)
3. I'm wearing contact lenses today and my eyes seem pretty ok. Woot!
4. I had a lunch with PQ and TH. We chatted, gossiped and chatted somemore. Although talk revolved almost 90% around our kids and child-rearing experiences, at least it brought me some laughter and respite. 
5. I have a new monitor in the office. With better and sharper resolution so it helps relieve some of the strain on my eyes. 

Stuff I'm not so thankful for today haha...

1. I miss Peanut terribly.  I didn't get to interact much with her yesterday and I left the house today without seeing her because she was still sleeping. But she'll be going back to school tomorrow though...And I'm glad that we're going back to the usual routine of things. 
2. My eyebags. :p
3. My fingers are itching to do online shopping again. I've been doing too much of it recently...too much. 
4. I keep snacking!!

5 December 2016 Monday.

Peanut took her first unassisted steps on 5 Dec 2016. :)
At the "grand" age of 14 months and 11 days old.

I didn't manage to video it nor get any pictures of it but I shall endeavour over the next few days to do so. For posterity's sake. :)

She had been cruising for months and we were all waiting for her to gain just that little bit more confidence and bravado to walk on her own without holding onto us.

Voila, it finally happened.

She seems to understand that she's hit a milestone too. She seemed happier and more energetic yesterday haha.

Way to go little girl! Soon you'll be running around with jiejie. :)

It's that time of the year again

The smell is in the air...
The smell of Christmas. And family. And friends. And happiness. And joy.
That crisp air. That brings with it some tingle of excitement and anticipation.

While I've been bogged down by things at home...and by the endless amount of buying that comes at this time of the year.

I'm glad for all the Christmas songs I am hearing...they do bring a certain happiness to me...

Seeing Nadya get excited that Christmas is coming is also lovely...She's older now and more aware of such things.

We set up the tree over the weekend and she was happy and rather excited about it. We have 3 little maroon coloured birds as decorations for the tree and she has been patting one of them on a daily basis. :) "Mama! I patted the bird!" She would say haha...I had purposely placed that one within her reach.

This morning I noticed she had gold glitter on her face. "Did you touch the decorations on the tree?" I asked her this morning. "No...oo...ooo...." came the unconvincing reply...."So how is it that you have gold glitter on your face?" I only had a cheeky grin as a reply...haha.

Alyssa is too young to understand the significance of Christmas but she's loving the tree and the lights and the baubles on it haha. She gets a kick out of touching the baubles too...and squealed with delight when I let her touch the prickly tree branches for the first time on Saturday.

I hope Christmas retains its magical wonder for the girls right up till they are mothers themselves...:)

Here we go again

Nadya was fine for the last 5-6 days save for some diarrhoea in the initial few days. She is feverish today again.

I thought I would be able to have a smoother time this weekend. I thought too soon. 

My patience bucket is drying out. 

This is the 3rd or 4th consecutive weekend looking after a sick kid. 

And so the story contnues...

And so. Peanut went on hunger strike last night. She only had porridge for dinner and thereafter rejected all milk and only took some sips of water from 8pm till this morning 8am.

I was so worried.

She was also extremely cranky and irritable. She fussed from 1am to 4am. The helper and I were taking turns to look after her....and I was juggling between looking after Nadya and looking after Alyssa. Thank god Nadya was on a rare day of pretty good behavior and slept quite well, despite Alyssa's loud fusses and cries.

I brought Alyssa to the PD today again when the helper and I noticed that se had ulers in her mouth.
I was xian-half and rather worried that it might be HFMD.

Alas, the PD said she had contracted Herpangina.

What? Simi vagina? were the first thoughts in my head when the PD mentioned it to me.

Oh. Herpangina.
Mouth ulcers at the back of the mouth. No red spot on hands and feet. But caused by a similar virus as that causing HFMD.

My poor baby...When will this end??
She's suffered enough already! Her weight has dropped to below 50% percentile!

Sigh....and so the story continues...

Nadya's doing ok now and doesn't have any diarrahoea already.
I'm well.....Tired AF. Ad yet trying to clear some work because I'm on Work From Home today....not on leave hor, so I am supposed to do some work.

End of the Year

Time to sit down and plan some things out.

I didn't do it over the last 2 to 3 years because the focus was by default on the family and the kids.

Now...I think it's time to start tweaking things abit and bringing myself into the focus abit more.

Family

Busy is when you are trying to clear work.

Knowing you have only half a day in the office to be really productive.

And at the back of your mind you are thinking whether your sick kid is doing ok.

And then your Dad texts to ask if you are busy and whether you can call him back.

....

This usually means he needs my help for something. I called him back immediately even though I was trying to settle my work quickly.

Why?

Just because.

And also because I value family over work. I have my family's back, they have mine. I'd want to be there for them, any of them, if they ever need me. No matter how small or mundane a task or errand.

And yes, also because the parents are getting on in age. If me and my brother are not there for them, who else can they turn to? I'm just glad they are actually really independent already...

thoughts

I'm supposed to be asleep. But my mind is filled with many thoughts. Some fleeting, some recurring.

Was on half day PM leave to go karaoke with the sec sch folks. It's been 5 years since we had a k-session and we had wanted to relive that. I'm usually suay like that. Murphy's Law has happened to me on countless occasions I've gotten used to it. The school called just when we finished lunch. Peanut was having a fever. Ok, I told the school, I'm on my way there to get her. 

...thoughts about whether we should still put her in infant care. Why is she falling sick so so so often? Is her delay in walking a direct result of her falling sick so often? 

...would it be possible if I took no-pay leave for a period of time to watch her at home? How would that impact her own growth and mental/emotional/physical development? I'm not the best teacher around and I'm a lazy mother when it comes to educating my kids academically. 

...would we have enough money if I took no-pay leave? Why do we need so much money in the first place? Do I need a change in lifestyle?

...is the house "unclean"? Is the fengshui not good for my family, especially the kids? Do I need to do something about it? What can I do???

...I'm already a social recluse. Even my rare day out with friends was cut short to just a lunch. 

...find myself getting more socially awkward. Age has brought me more awkwardness or maybe I am just more aware and do not wish to waste time on small talk and people who don't matter much.

...I'm not an ambitious person. That said, while I don't wish to race to the top or climb up the ladder quickly, I would still appreciate having a small team to look after. Even a 1-member team would be nice. At least I'd get the chance to learn more about people development and management. 

...I'm supposed to be practicing mindfulness and calming the mind. But here I am letting my thoughts run amok in my mind. Not quite the person making an effort here. I'm so lax.

...Self-doubt. Self-honesty. Self-exploration. Seeking understanding and awareness. Or just badgering around like a blind mole?

...my fitness plan to allocate every Wed late afternoon to start exercising has been all scuppered. I've only gone for one session so far. And that was a mini trial/test session to force myself to wear my running shoes and exercise attire and at least get on the treadmill. But family committments and looking after sick kids last wed and this wed as well...I just can't find a chance to do something. Help. 

...hope my eyes are ok...floater in the right eye is buggering me. The recent eye infection has also given me quite a scare. Anything to do with her eyes make me queasy. Except eye makeup. Heh.

...randomness 

Conversations with a 3year-1.5month-old

There was an Awfully Chocolate voucher on the table yesterday.

N: Dada, what is this?
K: You can use it to buy chocolate from a shop called Awfully Chocolate.

*N saunters over to me*

N: Mama, you know? We can go shopping centre and use this to buy UGLY chocolate from the uncle!


Lol....awful doesn't always mean ugly sweetie...
I didn't have the heart to correct her haha...

Peanut

Really happy to see Peanut eating and drinking well again.

For more than a week, or maybe almost 2 weeks, she was eating poorly or rejecting food.

Now, her appetite has improved much. While she is not voraciously gobbling up her food, at least she's taking bowls of mee sua and porridge again. And guzzling her milk. And requesting for her favourite mixed berry yoghurt melts.

Eat well and eat more my sweet happy girl.

Mama's aim is to have you reach 9.7 to 10kg in a months' time!

Stay happy, healthy and strong always!

sigh..

This week...I don't quite know what to say anymore.

Helper complained of gum infection and a resulting fever. I brought her to the dentist today.

Turned out that a root canal was needed. And a hefty $480 flew out of my pocket. Un-claimable from her insurance.

I can only hope that next week will be better and subsequent weeks will get better and better....

Mindfulness

Slowly reading up on this from time to time...

Mentally jotting down some key points....but realised I'd do better if I were to pen it down here for regular consumption. 

• Being present and aware of the current space, where we are and what we're doing
• Not being overly reactive or overwhelmed by the things happening around us 
• Listen with intention and attention 
• When listening, affirm first before you differ 

Enough points to focus and practice on for the next couple of weeks. 

Ganbatte...

Peanut

Amidst the challenges of this week...there have been several bright points as well. Most of it was about discovering that Peanut actually is aware of alot of things and is quite sure of what she wants.

Peanut's a smart one. She knows where to find her snacks and which particular container it is in.

She also knows that her favourite cheese is in a particular compartment in the fridge, which is in the kitchen. She can point and point and point you in the direction she wants to go to...until she eventually brings you to the cheese lol.

She has her favourite water bottle and if she gets thirsty during a meal, she would insist on drinking water first before continuing.

She has discovered that a particular light switch turns on the orange lights above our kitchen bar counter. She doesn't like to switch on the other lights in the house as they are natural white light but she likes the orange lights.

She is able to match and fit some of those shape blocks through the right holes in the cover of the box.

She seems to like tigers or pictures of tigers. When I point to the tiger in her picture book and give a roar, she tries to mimic me by opening her mouth wide as well...just that no sound comes out haha.

Grow well my sweetie...
Stay strong and fight the germs....

The doc is a little concerned that your weight has remained stagnant for the last 3 months...And these 2 weeks of back-to-back illness has caused your weight to plummet even more as you simply had no appetite...

Your cheeks are no longer chubby, your arms and legs are so skinny now. Mama could see your ribs the other day...and part of your spine. :(

It hurts to see you looking so subdued and thin....:(

你一定要加油!!!!!

The bumpy ride continues

This week has been bad.

It showed signs of abating yesterday....because Alyssa was eating better and drinking milk better, although her diarrhoea was still somewhat present. Nadya's fever was gone as well and I thought we were in for a smoother ride finally...

Alas.

In the middle of the night. Nadya complained of stomach upset and went to poo. It was diarrhoea-like. Watery and full of undigested food. I could see bits of watermelon.

This morning, she vomitted some of her milk out, accompanied by long strings of saliva.

Win liao lor.

Sigh.

===============
Really wondering if this house is....not clean..
if you know what i mean.....

this year has been rather challenging.....

tantrums

There is only that many tantrums that one can "endure", in a given situation and given space.

There is only that many kicks that one can endure, in a given situation and given space. 

Pek chek.

No more Blogger app

I will be posting less frequently I guess. Because Google discontinued the Blogger app on the Apple istore.

Horrid news. The app still worked perfectly on my old iOS even though it has been discontinued but ever since I updated my iOS, the app could not function anymore.

Rather upset. Now I don't know how to upload pictures....and how to blog on the fly.
Alternative blogger apps don't work as well and seem to have a problem with uploading of pictures...

:(

uglified

Went to the doc on Monday morning again. 

This time for my eye infection. Right eye was reddish, waxy, itchy, swollen and a little teary as well. 

Drama weekend

It's been a challenging weekend so far.

Saturday morning we discovered that Nadya had fever. Gave her medicine from our stockpile at home.

By 4:00pm, Alyssa started vomitting. In fact, she vomitted 5 times in 2 hours and ended up looking rather pale. She was also lethargic and subdued. We rushed her to KK's AnE. She was immediately given anti-vomitting medicine and put on glucose electrolytes for the next hour. 15ml of the glucose solution once every 15mins. She was much better after the medication and was back to her cheery, cheeky and active self.

The doc had warned that with such a stomach virus, she might develop a fever and also diarrhoea. True enough, the diarrhoea came at night. Poor girl. She was in so much discomfort that she was crying and whimpering most of the time. Sigh.....

By the time Sunday morning came, she was cranky. Her appetite seems almost non-existent now...and it is very worrying. :( Her weight has remained stagnant for the last 3 months...no more chubby cheeks, no more thunder thighs. :(

As for Nadya, her fever showed no signs of abating and peaked at 39.5C on Sunday afternoon. It has remained under 39 ever since. Which is a good thing. The bad thing is that now she is showing signs of having cough and a phlegmy throat. And she is showing signs of feeling nauseated. Maybe the stomach virus has reached her.

And the story is far from over yet....K is having conjunctivitis and high fever...Nadya was complaining of painful eyes and kept rubbing her eyes this afternoon. She is showing signs of getting it.

As for me...I had a bout of diarrhoea on Saturday afternoon and while that was the only episode, my stomach has remained queasy after that. Both K and I went to the doctor's this morning....but now I seem to have gotten red eye as well. My right eye is aching and starting to turn a little bloodshot and swollen. Both eyes are itchy too.

Tomorrow is Monday. Both girls definitely won't be going to school. We would need to bring them to the PD again...and I would need to go the GP again to get eye drops for myself.....

Oh ya. The helper is also having a runny nose and headache and is self-medicating.

Sigh. Quite teruk this time round.

I told K that we needed to all bathe in flower water already......banish all the bad stuff....

It's 1030pm now on Sunday night. Nadya just woke crying and coughing and retching. She said she felt like vomitting but didn't do so in the end.

I think I'm in for a long night again....

Jiayou
Jiayou
Jiayou

P/s: Alyssa vomitted on me a total of 3 times and pooped on me once....

Ohm...

Afterall these years, I've not mastered the skill of not letting others affect me too much.

The Coll is still grating on my nerves whenever she nitpicks on certain areas involving me and my work.

My BP rises rather quickly when she gets into that mode. I tell myself to calm down and not get too agitated over her. Yes, it works to a certain extent. And then thereafter I find myself holding it in.....

可是。。。憋气不是件好事。。。

Crushes

Nadya seems to have a crush on 2 boys. We were lounging around on the mattress in her room a few nights ago and she started telling me about "Timothy" and "Sean".

She got so shy and started smiling so shyly. Never happened before but I recognise that smile...I had it when I talked about boys when I was 13?

I've never heard of Timothy and Sean before as well. Apparently they are older boys in the K2 class.

And in her words..."They are taller than me". LOL...so cute.

And in her words again. "I like Timothy."...and almost like an afterthought...she added "And Sean
also."

I can sense K's hackles rising already!.....

Can a girl have crushes at age 3? Lol...

C.S.I - level 1

I've developed a bad habit of late.

I CSI some of the acquaintances around me.


If I'm in the midst of engaging a vendor, sometimes I check up on their publicly available information online.  I've done it on some others...including a parent or two of Nadya's classmates.

It's more of curiosity and 38-ness, rather than fulfilling any real need to gather intelligence on them.

It's not a nice thing to do I'll admit that. I should put a stop to it....

The Small One

Helper had to peel Peanut away from me this morning...
Her fever is no more but she is still having a stuffed nose and a bad cough so we thought of keeping her at home today.

She had wanted me to carry her...She'd crawled over to me and raised her arms to be carried...I obliged and then stuffed my face in her fluffy hair. She patted my face. A first!
(Wait, or was she trying to swat my face away? hmm....)

But alas, I had to leave home and send Nadya to school and then go to work myself....

When the helper tried to carry her, she turned away and shook her head...She then grabbed me tightly by my neck and buried her head in the book of my shoulder....

Helper had to then peel her away....

She protested and bawled...

She watched me while the helper walked away and brought her to the balcony to distract her...

Those big watery imploring eyes...That red face when you cried...

Mama is sorry sayang...Mama needs to go to work and can't be at home with you today...:(
Stay strong and fight the germs okie...
Mama will see you this evening and Mama will make sure to give you lots of hugs and kisses..
Mama misses you alot...:(

Conversations with a 3year-1month old

Last night while playing in her room.

Me: Can I have a hug?
N: No. I hugged you just now already.
Me: ? .......Can I have another hug?
N: No. Later.
Me: Orh ok...:(

Three-nager indeed.

===============
On the Sunday just past.

Me: Nadya!! Time to shower! You need to bathe already! Don't dilly-dally....*nag nag nag*
N: Wait Mama.....be PATIENT! *gives me the hand signal for waiting*

zzzzz....I'd used the phrase "You need to be more patient" on her that very same morning....

Low Night

Felt like the crappiest, shittiest and most incompetent mother in the whole world last night.

We missed attending Nadya's ballet mini showcase and parent-teacher conference with her ballet teacher in school.

Simply because I'd missed seeing the email notification.

And we only found out about it last night when her friend's parents noticed we were not there and kindly sent us numerous videos of the event.

Guilty like fuck.
And felt absolutely absolutely bad.

I was beating myself up over it and I couldn't sleep till 1am.

Sigh.

Anyway, told myself to move on and strive to be a better mum.

===============

dates....

days....

lists...

to do...



to plan....

to buy.... ..... ....

to think through .....

to remember....

daughter/ wife/ mother/ sister/ daughter-in-law/ colleague/ friend/ team leader/ personal assistant/ menu planner/ events planner/ administrator/ toilet attendant/ sleeping assistant/ hug dispenser/ jukebox/ employer/ baby carrier/ ...... ...... ...... ......

Housekeeping

Along the way, I've come to realise that some folks have dropped me off their FB friends list.

I think I need to do some housekeeping one of these days as well.

WHY WHY and....WHY?

All because one Christian name was left out during an airplane ticket booking. I've had to spend a good 1.5 to 2 hours this afternoon trying to solve the issue. 觉得挺无奈....

I had to speak to call centre staff based in India and Hong Kong. Send emails to people based in SG and in HK. And incur a charge of USD$50 just to get the name amended.

Like pssshhawww.
What a waste of time and money (stupid admin fee and stupid IDD charges).

Sigh...but it's for my parents...so I shall not complain anymore.....

The issue is still not a 100% resolved. I still need to wait for SQ to get back to me with a confirmation.

Hair Velcro Patch/Strip

I thought it was a commonly known cosmetic item. But erm....apparently not.

When I first used it at home 2 days ago, K looked at me incredulously and asked me what the hell it was LOL. He also said it looked rather "auntie".

Nadya was fascinated with it and instantly said "I want that!".

When I used it in office yesterday, both male and female colleagues in my team were intrigued. They asked questions like "What is it??", "How does it stay on the head and hair?", "How to use it?" and the most common comment was "I've never seen it before!"....

Hahaha.....

Motherhood is when you.....

• get so tired from the lack of sleep and from the interrupted sleep that you end up using your body wash as a shampoo...
• start humming children's songs and ditties when walking by yourself...
• start putting your children's needs above everything else...
• realise even more how important family is...
• forget to shave ever so often and rely on your cardigan as protection in case your colleagues get scared shitless by your stubby pits...
• plan your meals and outings around kids' schedules and preferences...
• start getting referred to as someone's mummy instead of your own name...
• see another mother struggling with her kid and you give her a knowing encouraging smile...
• really hone your multi-tasking skills...
• get so frustrated you shout at your child...only to feel god-damn guilty about it 2 minutes later...
• .............
• ..........
• .......
• ....

Matchy Matchy!

My parents bought them matching tshirts last weekend. Cute as can be! The princess figure on the tshirt actually has a sensor and lights up when there's movement or when you tap it in the centre. 

Relieved

Happy to report that Peanut is well again!

Well, 95% healed save for a phelgmy throat.

At least her fever has healed. 

At least all her ugly red rashes have gone away.

At least her eyes are no longer puffy.

At least she has her double-eyelids back.

At least she is back to her usual happy, smiley, cheeky self.

At least she is back to her usual levels of energy.

At least she is back to eating well.

It's a huge relief for me really seeing her back to her usual self.

Jiayou Peanut!

Mama loves you! 

Face. Facial. Facialest?!

It's like as if I'm having an epiphany.

At 3am in the morning. Amidst all the sounds and flashes of thunder and lighting and pouring rain. 

Maybe I feel rather tired and restless and 无奈 because I've not been loving myself and taking care of myself enough. 

I mean like...the last time I ever had a facial was literally years ago. I should get myself started on it again else my face is like a chui mosh pit. (Mosh pit??!! Yeah well I couldn't think of a better word at this hour of the night. Or should I say morning?) wonder if my package is still valid though...sigh.

I was unable to get back to sleep earlier on. Nadya had woken when the thunder started and after I settled her down again with a warm milk bottle and a change of diaper, i found myself wide awake and.....

Suddenly realised that I sorely missed the feeling of a clean face which had just been under the deft hands of a facial therapist. A face rid of most of the whiteheads and blackheads and milia seeds and what have you gunk. 

Yup.

At 3am.

The strange things that people do lol. 

Well, the only thing I don't miss is the sales pressure that they sometimes put you through and how you feel vulnerable and self-conscious when they start commenting about your likes and wrinkles and dark eye rings and yada yada, in the hope that you'd feel worried enough to sign on extra stuff to your package or buy more peripheral beauty products. 

Brouhaha...

Maybe it's time to give the spa a call again and see if I can revive my facial package! 

Yes.

Before my face really becomes chui. 

Zzzz yawn zzzz

走火入魔? Nah...more like 累了blur了...

I called Nadya Alyssa yesterday evening and I called Meimei Jiejie this morning. 

And I found myself singing a kid's song to myself when I was waiting for my cab to arrive that day....the song goes like this:  "Elephant...elephant...why is your nose so long? That's because my mother's nose is also very long...." 

Conversations with a 3-years-1-month-old

We were at my parents'. I was feeding her dinner and she had gotten hold of a piece of wet tissue. She was wiping her face and mouth vigorously. Wipe wipe wipe.....

Me: Nadya! Why are you wiping so much? You are squeaky clean already!
N: No!! I am not squeaky clean. I am Princess Elsa!!

K and I looked at each other and couldn't stop laughing...Lol...
She thought "squeaky clean" was a name we gave her.... :D

===============
We were going out soon. As usual, I was chasing her around trying to get her to wear her shorts. (She's usually clad only in diapers or undies at home)

Me: Nadya! Time to change, otherwise you're staying home.
N: No. WAIT. *gives a hand gesture to signal wait*
N: You wait. One minute. I need to change diaper for Baby first. (Baby is her pink colour Winnie the Pooh soft toy).
N: Ok? You wait ah. You wait. *gives a cursory nod of her head*

zzzzzzzzzzz.......can't decide if she is starting to be auntified or is simply a 小霸道...

GWS Peanut....

Get well soon my sweet baby...

Peanut woke this morning with her rash in a worser condition than yesterday evening. Red splotches covered her face and she looked so forlorn my heart was aching considerably. Angry red spots are on her body and now it has spread to her arms and legs as well, though in a lesser quantity and redness on her limbs.

She's been crying inconsolably since Saturday and has been extremely cranky. The rashes appeared just after her high fever broke and went on a downward trend. All symptoms of roseola.

While Little Baby had it last time as well, I think she was older at the time and thus had a stronger constitution and her symptoms weren't as bad as Peanut's now.

Peanut missed school last Thursday and Friday and will be sitting out of school today as well. She had wanted me to carry her this morning but I could only do so for a short while....she clung on to me and grabbed my dress when the time came for me to pass her on to the helper. :(

I'm sorry sayang...Mama has to go to work...:(

The helper stood with her at the door when we stepped into the lift. When the lift door was closing, I frantically waved goodbye to her...she only had a sad forlorn expression on her face and didn't wave back...:(

:((((((((((((((
It's always upsetting when you have to leave your baby in such a manner...and when you can't be with her when she wants you...

Get well soon my sweet baby...

Lil' Miss Sunshine

....is not so sunshiney these few days.....:(

She's been running a fever since Wednesday night and has been rather cranky. Her appetite's gotten quite poor too. 

I hope the fever breaks soon and that she gets well soon too. 

Jiayou and stay strong Peanut! 

Fight the germs!

Work

There was a 2-week lull period where I had minimal work. 

And now, when it comes...it is a mini avalanche. Ack and piling up...

Why so sudden one?!

*pant pant* 

Lol...

The LaoBu

Accompanied her to a doctor's appointment last week.

With her and my powers combined, I think we asked enough questions to get a relatively adequate understanding of the procedure and the processes that she would have to navigate for this darn kidney tumour that she's got.

The LaoBeh just kinda sat there and tried to take it all in haha.

So well, a robotic surgery has been scheduled for early Jan 2017. I'll probably need to take leave for those few days.

The doc said it's an 80-90% chance of the tumour being malignant and if so, the LaoBu would likely need to be on lifelong follow-up with the hospital. Of course, there's still a 10-20% chance of it being benign and she would then just need only 2-3 follow-up sessions thereafter before being discharged.

Knowing her, she's probably frantically planning out and trying to settle all her CNY angpows and Xmas gifts and major household chores/errands within these few weeks.

Sandwich - taking care of and worrying about kids on one side and taking care of and worrying about parents on the other side.

Dear Lord, please keep her in your arms and keep her safe.

For posterity.

Just taken. On the morning of my birthday. For posterity.

Wih bed hair.

And sans makeup and in specs, as you can see with my almost nonexistent brows and smaller eyes. 

36 years young. :)

But face looks quite shack already. :( 3 years of interrupted sleep and counting. 

Ribbon roses hairties!

All I wanted was a very quiet day at home on my birthday. I settled some chores and cleared some work emails. 

 

I was supposed to be drawing but ended up crafting instead. 

What started out as a simple experiment to try out a hack for making ribbon roses and I ended up making 6 roses. 

Which led me to bunching them up in groups of 3....

Which led me to making hair ties instead. 

That's what I like about crafting. One thing leads to another. You start out with a simple premise and more often than not, end up with something different and more brilliant than what you originally intended. 

Will probably end up giving one each to each of the girls. But I like it a lot myself hahaha...

生日快乐

Voila...Happy 36th to me! 

Here's wishing myself more calm, more peace, continued happiness and good health and many more wonderful years/decades ahead!

Huat ah! 

36

Turning 36 in a couple of days.
4 to be exact.

Some say age is only but a number.
It's more important what you feel inside and what you make of things.

Well....I don't feel 36. Most days I feel younger.
Is that supposed to be a good thing? Lol.

Of course, it certainly made my day having had the new temp girl (who is 12 years my junior) tell me that I don't look 36, nor do I look like a mum of two kids.

:D

Losing my shit

I lost my temper several times last night and once this morning as well.

N refused to go to bed last night and had myriad requests.

I want milk. I want water. I want light sticks. I want to read a book first. I want to pee pee. I want to drink honey. I want the aircon on. I want my princess cape. I want to see Uncle Eugene's house (my neighbour whose balcony faces mine). I want this......I want that.......I want I want I want.

I raised my voice several times towards the end. I was frustrated and impatient already.
Having both a headache and a lower backache didn't help the situation. Having my menses arrive in the middle of it all added to my exasperation and irritability.

She finally slept but woke up an hour plus later again.
She was irritable, crying and kicking. Nothing I did was right. I couldn't even touch her without getting kicked or my hand slapped away. Nothing I said was right.

I lost it and shouted at her several times.It was the only way I could get her to hear/listen to me over the din she was making.

This morning she woke and immediately went into the same whiny, cranky, kicking, screaming mode. I lost it again and raised my voice once. Not good to start the morning this way, I told myself. Managed to control myself after that.



I'm sorry sayang.
Mummy will strive to be a better mummy ok...? :(

Sigh.

BIrthdays are special

Especially so when you're a kid and cakes are hard to come by haha.

Let's see....Nadya has celebrated her birthday a good 3 times! Just nice...3 separate celebrations for her 3rd birthday!

I hope Alyssa enjoyed herself too with all the fuss and cake-cutting and singing of songs haha...
She doesn't seem to like cake though. She has spit out every single bite of cake I've tried to give her. Vanilla, rainbow, chocolate-flavour.....all rejected by her....Maybe she's not a sweet-toothed girl. :)
Good!

Drawing

Currently working on a piece that is taking quite long to finish up. 

Partly because there are many details, partly because I'm squeezing my brain cells for more creativity, partly because I can't find the chance to sit down and draw...

===============

Just bought a new thick black ink pen from Pilot. Looking forward to drawing on canvas soon. 

Need to try drawing on new mediums....can't wait!

But oh ya, need to wait for some inspiration first lol. 

When

When work is but some means to put food on the table and a roof over your head

When work is not totally off-putting

When work puts you in touch with good friends

When work has become rather familiar to you (though not necessarily likeable) 

When you can't see a better patch of grass to set up tent on

When you are afraid of disturbing the clockwork routine and time schedules established over the years

When pull and push factors are simply not compelling enough

When 9 fruitful and life-changing years has been spent in one place 

...

...

I guess

You stay on

The 2 girls

I hope they form a deep bond in time to come. I hope they will always have each other's backs and take care of each other next time. 

My firstborn

There are times when she seems older than just 3. 

Conversations with a 3-year-old

Nadya usually sits next to me or somewhere near me on weekday mornings when I am putting on makeup.

The other day.
She took my blusher brush, opened my eyeshadow and started applying the brush onto the eyeshadow palette.

Me: Nadya, no! Please stop!
N: No...I want...
Me: I will look like a funny little clown if you continue doing that!
N: But I want Mama to look like a funny little clown....
Me: -_-'''

===============

N: Chian Dao Shee Tow Poo!!
Me: Huh??
N: Chian Dao Shee Tow Poo!!
N: *starts doing the scissors, paper, stone action*

Me: Oh. It's "Jian Dao Shi Tou Bu".
Me: The last word is Bu ok. Not Poo.

N: Poo!! Chian Dao Shee Tow Pooooooo!! Poooo!!!

Me: -_-'''

Introversion and Motherhood

Not sure how other introvert mothers handle it haha.

I get overwhelmed by the noise sometimes. I even get abit overwhelmed by my own nagging of the older girl.

We were all in the car that day. I think we were going to my parents' place.

Nadya was singing her head off, rather loudly. Some children's songs were running on the stereo. Alyssa was screeching from time to time, gurgling and squealing, you name it. The helper was imploring the 2 girls not to fight in the backseat (i.e. don't pull, don't hit, don't scratch, don't smack, don't this and that). The helper was also asking Alyssa not to be so squirmy.

And K and I were also trying to have a conversation going. Only to be constantly interrupted by Nadya's shouts of "Quiet! I said no talking! Quiet!". She was mimicking her school teachers I think.

My ears were ringing towards the end of the car ride...

And I could feel the onset of a headache....

Gosh...

Work project....from the days of 2012

It's official!

My looooooong-drawn 4-year-old project is finally closed!

I can draw the curtains on it...

Like FINALLY!!!

Wheeeeeee!!! :)

Trudge On

Having lunch with a good friend who's in the know and engaging in some mindless nonsensical chatter with colleagues really does one's soul some good.

I'm feeling more energetic and abit more rejuvenated now.

Onward we march, forward we go...!
Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot....

Jiayou jiayou jiayou!

The LaoBu

And now...it seems my mum is having issues with her kidney. A low-grade cancerous lesion has appeared in one of her kidneys.

I hope it is like what the docs say, that it is low-grade and hence, lesser risk and worry.

Waiting for the MRI results to be in to confirm the doc's diagnosis.

*fingers crossed*

===============
This year seems a challenging one....Monkey year..
Hang in there...another 4 more months to go only before the year of the Rooster comes...

N again

Not sure how long I can handle this. Every single night. Well, 90% of the time. 

N had another episode at 12:45am. 30mins of crying and fussing and kicking this time. 

It's like I have a sweet cheeky girl and when sleep arrives, she morphs into a monster. 

Looks like I need to call the school again and find out if there was a trigger there. 

Thing is, 99% of the time we can't pinpoint the reason for her episodes. And she can't articulate why as well, either that or she doesn't give me a response when I ask her what made her kick up such a fuss.

Something is wrong. Has been for the last 2-3 months and I don't know how else to fix it. 

Out of sorts

Yesterday, it was another night of badly interrupted sleep. 

I spent the workday today feeling groggy and nauseous at times. 

I really hope tonight will be more manageable. 

I can't take tomorrow but hopefully I can do so on Thursday....

Not quite sure what to do

It's been a challenging past 2 nights with alot of fussing, crying and kicking from Nadya.
She is having a runny nose. And a sick child is a sibei cranky child.

Last night, she did a thorough job of testing my patience. She woke every hour between 930pm to 1230am and fusse, cried and kicked each time.

I clenched my fists tight at one point. My nails dug deep into my palms and left semi-circle marks on my palms. I did that, to remind myself not to blow my top. And to still speak in measured tones to her. I lost it once or twice though and raised my voice but I think I generally did ok. 

I hope my blood pressure stays normal.

===============
I smile less easily these days at home. Partly because Nadya drains my energy and emotions and is constantly keeping me on edge with her requests and demands.

I realised I was a pretty happy lark yesterday when she was not around.

The helper was on her off day and when that happens, Nadya usually goes over to the inlaws' and Alyssa stays at home with us.

I realised I was so much more relaxed and happy and chirpy. I didn't realise it at first, till K said I was chirpy and singing songs. 

Sigh. Oh well.

Peanut Turns One!

Time has really flown by over the last 12 months. It sounds long on paper and written words. 12 months...365 days....But in reality, it just zipped by in a jiffy.

On 24 September, our littlest girl Alyssa turned one!


***
Sweetie,

All I want to say is how much Dada and Mama love you. Jiejie loves you too though she bullies you half the time...My wish is for you to grow up healthy, happy, strong and intelligent. With an emphatic, filial, warm and loving heart.

Stay cheerful always and be generous with your smiles. :) You're about to take your solo first steps soon I think. We're all anticipating it! Keep growing well. Though we sometimes wish you'd slow down a little so we can smell and hug your babyness for a longer time...

Lastly, I hope you and jiejie will grow up being as close as 2 peas in a pod. Take care and look out for each other ok. Have each other's back.

With lotsa love and kisses,
Mama

***

We had a joint birthday celebration for the 2 girls since Nadya's one is on 9th Oct. 

 

It was a pity we didn't get a good family shot. Nadya was moody and didn't want to take photos. And Alyssa was squirming around in K's arms haha. 

Ugh

We'd have a better 1, 2 or 3 nights. I'd start having hopes of it being a permanent "better nights" situation and then BHAM. There'd be a horrible night. 

It's like as if I'm being taunted. And tested for patience. 

Tonight is such a night. The man is out for his friends bachelor party. It is 3am and he is still not back. I don't recall anymore when was the last time I went out with friends at night alone with no kids, if ever. 

Sibei pekchek seems to be an understatement right now. 

N took milk twice before fell asleep at 950pm. She's been falling asleep later than usual these past few days. 

She woke again at 11pm, screaming and kicking. She'd fuss louder if I touched her so I just let her bawl to her heart's content. When she was done she asked for milk again. She went back to sleep after that. 

And then there was a repeat episode at 12am. Except that it was fresh milk in a cup this time and not formula milk in a bottle. 

2am came and she woke again. And asked for milk AGAIN. I have it to her, a diluted version but she still can't get back to sleep. 

It's been an hour. She's either whimpering and fussing in bed, or she's asking for milk again, which I'm refusing to give. 

And she insists I sit down next to her, not lie down. 

FML.

F.

F.

F. 

One of those times when I mutter "fuck this shit" under my breath 5,698 times a minute. 

Jason!

I got re-acquainted with Jason Mraz today.

He accompanied me for some time during work....when I was trying to clear my mind and write a paper I'd been struggling with over the last 2 days.

I'd lost touch with him for awhile and forgotten how mesmerising his voice, how talented he is....and just how lovely and meaningful his songs are.

Some of the songs did bring back memories..both good and bad...
I was reminded of some of my lowest points in life...but in balance, I was also reminded of some of the highest points in my life....

If only he were able to give me a private concert haha....

今天会更好!!

Brand new day,
Brand new hope,
Brand new wishes,
Brand new fulfilment.

Might not make sense to others...but this little ditty has been with me since my days of anxiety during JC.

It has since been a reminder to me not to let things get me down too much...and to remember to breathe haha.

So yeah, after a "wild" night yesterday....

今天会更好!!

Jiayou

It's 130am. I've not slept yet. Well I've tried to since 1030pm, to no avail.

No, I don't have insomnia. I'm bushed and would probably fall asleep within 10minutes of laying down.

As luck would have it, tonight was to be a challenging one. 

N fell asleep sometime around 945pm or close to 10pm. She woke at 1050pm and immediately launched a mega hissy fit. Kicking, screaming, you name it. She was not in a diaper as she'd insisted on not wearing one before she went to bed. 

In the midst of her tantrum, I asked her if she needed to pee. She declined vehemently. And then a few minutes later, as if on cue, she peed on herself and wet the bed a little. I caught her in the middle of it and lifted her off the bed so a majority of the pee was on the floor instead. 

Mega hissy fit continued all the way while I peeled off her panties and trousers, washed her and dried her off. Continued for a good hour or so till she fell asleep again at 1155pm. Without diapers still. 

A then woke at 12am. Huge amount of crying because she was having a bad diaper rash. She probably peed and woke because her bum was smarting from the discomfort. Helper changed her diaper while I tried to distract and comfort her. Both of us took turns carrying and pacifying her and then she spit up some milk. 

Cleaned her and the bed up abit and she was just so irritable and kept crying.  We were still trying our best to calm her down and then.........she poo-ed. 

Bah.

It was just liquid that she poo-ed. I think she's having a bad tummy. The poor girl screamed a lot while we changed her diaper a second time. It took another 30-40mins before she could settle down and drink some milk. 

I went back to my room thinking I could finally fall asleep. 

And then N woke again at 1255am. It was a repeat episode. Threw a tantrum again. I asked her if she wanted to pee. She didn't respond but continued screaming and thrashing about in bed. And then I saw it again, slivers of moonlight bouncing off the bed. How can that happen unless there's liquid on the bedsheet???

Fuck.

I quickly lifted her off the bed again and put her on the floor. She started thrashing about on the floor. So yes, there was pee on the bed, on the floor, on her and probably on me. 

Washed her off and begged her to wear a diaper. Maybe she could sense I was kinda desperate at the situation and she finally agreed to. 

I hope the rest of the night is better.

Signing out. 

长大了

Peanut is almost a year old...in fact, in just a week's time she'll be a year old. 

She "walked" a lot this evening. She held onto a stool and did laps in our living room lol. Went from one end to the other for a long time. Easily 20 minutes or more I think. 

She can get up and stand for 2-3 seconds without holding on to anything already. And all these developments happened in just the last few days only. 

Maybe she'll take her first unassisted steps soon. 

My littlest baby is growing up so fast...*sobs* 

For posterity

Some memorable pics from the HK trip...really love some of these...:)

Alyssa being cheeky and gamely posing for the camera. At the SQ lounge before boarding the flight to HK.

Breakfast at the Disneyland Hotel.

Cloudy skies

Ok I'll admit that part of her chor-lor-ness comes from me.....

It was a cloudy and rainy morning...we had to run here and there to hide from the rain, which started and stopped at its whim and fancy. We gave up after 2 hours and went back to the hotel.

During breakfast!

Peekaboo! In the hotel room. 

Fooling around during breakfast, with a smiley face sticker on her nose.

What to do in hotel rooms? Bubble bath!!

The Sleeping Beauty castle in good sunny weather. 

At the seaside just outside the hotel grounds.

That's the Disneyland pier just outside the hotel. 

When she heard and saw that Minnie Mouse was in the restaurant. 

Planting a kiss on Mickey when he wasn't noticing lol....

In the hotel.

View from our balcony. Gorgeous on a bright, sunny day. 

And we survived. :)

A trip to HK's Disneyland with both kids in tow...and a helper too.

The girls did well during the flights there and back. That was my biggest concern actually but they did good. Although there was more fussing from them on the flight back to SG, it was still relatively manageable.

I'm glad Nadya got to meet her idols Elsa and Anna from Frozen. We had queued up for about 20-30mins just to have a picture taken with them. But she chickened out at the last moment and burrowed her head in my chest and refused to take a picture. We took a picture anyway. With me grinning and Elsa and Anna smiling widely, and with Nadya in my arms with her head in my chest lol.

I'm glad she got to meet her fav character too! Minnie Mouse! She was in a good mood by then and could even hug and kiss Minnie Mouse. She also took pictures with Mickey Mouse and the chipmunks, Chip and Dale. She saw Pluto and goofy as well but did not get to take pictures with them.

I think Alyssa sort of enjoyed herself too? Hahaha...she's probably too young to understand things now...but we can show her all the photographs next time. She cowered when Mickey Mouse tried to kiss her hahah.Oh yes, but she had her first taste of food that was not prepared at home. She slurped up a bowl of pork porridge flavoured with dried oysters on one morning and another small bowl of fish porridge on another morning. :)

She's growing up fast...slow down little one...mama and dada still want to smell your babyness....

While I didn't get to shop or eat my fav mango jelly dessert from Xu Liu Shan...
While I didn't get to walk the streets of Tsim Tsa Tsui or the streets of Nu Ren Jie...
While I didn't get to munch on lots of dimsum...
While we didn't venture out of Lantau island to the city area....
While my arms and back ached from carrying Nadya too much...

I think...

This has got to be one of the best trips I've had to HK...:)

I told K the day we got back to SG that I might not be ready for another trip yet...

I'm having second thoughts...maybe....I could do another trip...yes, with the girls...

Hmm...mm.....early next year?

Eema

Eema is doing ok so far. Her op lasted almost 4 hours and her head was shaved. She still has a tube in her skull to drain out any other excess blood and is still in ICU. If she is stable, by this evening she would be moved out of ICU into the high-dependency ward instead.

Thank you God, for keeping her safe during the op....

I hope my mum gets enough rest too. She's been running around because of Eema's situation.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change, 

the courage to change the things that I can, 

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Why do not-so-good things happen to good people?

My maternal Aunt is a devout Buddhist with a pure and simple heart. All she's ever done in her life is to work hard, pray, be selfless and care for others around her, including her friends and family.

She's a great cook, honed from when she was young and had to cook for the entire family. She was the eldest daughter and back in those days, the eldest daughter in a Cantonese family undertook most of the responsibilities of helping to look after the household. She was also a cook at a chye-png stall for many years. And at festive occasions like CNY, she would camp out at my uncle's house. Together some some other aunts, she would whip up an amazing meal for the rest of the family....


4 years ago, she had a stroke. We were lucky, it was not a very serious one. But even so, it took her a good 6 months before she became better. At the behest of her siblings and my mum, she retired and was no longer a workhorse. She became weaker after that incident but still kept up with her prayers and trips to the temple...and she was still whipping up lovely dishes at big family gatherings...

She's been having a bad swollen right leg for the past 1 week plus. She can't walk properly. 

I just received news this morning that my mum and another 2 aunts brought her to A&E yesterday. Through various tests, it was discovered that she had bleeding the the area between the skull and the brain. It was happening on the left side of her head which was why her right leg was badly affected and swollen due to pressure building up in the head....

The situation looks serious and she's been scheduled for an emergency operation this morning to remove blood clots and stem the blood flow.

Sigh.

It is scheduled as a pinhole procedure for now as they don't want to stress her body too much. She's 78 this year. But if the clots can't be fully removed through this procedure....they would have no choice but to do a full surgery and cut her up for better access to the affected area.

Fingers crossed that the op will go smoothly....

She's an aunt I hold close to my heart.

And I hope God watches over her.

Let the black pen dance

Recent pieces over the last 1.5 months.

Each piece is about A5 in size. 

I like the last one. It's actually made up of many many different triangles to get this "pointy sea-shell" shaped pattern. 

没这个天分。。。没这个天赋

I think....I'm an artist wannabe.

I'd like to think I can draw a little. But truth be told, I can't really do so....

Without Youtube tutorials, without Google Images, I won't have enough creative juices to come up with good enough mandala pieces or doodle designs or Zentangle designs.

:(

Even after several months of looking at some of these tutorials and designs, and various trials and errors, I still struggle to come up with something unique or passable.

:(

Guess I'll just....

Try again...

At the most, I'll keep watching and looking at other designs online....