Growth

There must have been a growth spurt. Because within this week alone, at least 5 or 6 colleagues from other divisions asked me about how I was doing and how far along I am lol.

Comin' Home

A buzz and a tingle in the air
I'm a hoppin' and a boppin'
And a swishin' and a twirlin'
Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald
Come a flippin' through my ears
As I patiently await
Toe a tappin'
For tonight
When the King comes arrivin'

La Vie En Rose (English Lyrics)

Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs
And tho I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart
I'm in a world apart
A world where roses bloom

And when you speak...angels sing from above
Everyday words seem...to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose

What happened to you?

To go to and from the washroom, I need to walk past my boss' room. This afternoon, he waylaid me and called me into his room.

Boss: Eh alamak, what happened to you man?

Me: Huh??

Boss: Alamak! You used to stand up tall and proud and walk upright! Now look at you, everyday I see you looking so 'lembeh' and hunched. 

Me: *lol* Now I'm like that cos I'm having a backache mah. You should see me in the morning when I have more energy haha.

Boss: You're like a changed person! Shorter too, now cannot wear high heels right? *guffaws* 

Me: *zzzzz* 

I'm so different now meh??? No what...

P/s: his favorite singlish expression is 'alamak'. No points for guessing...:)

Help? Help!

This morning...

Breakfast was prepared incorrectly again....I thought never mind it's okay, trivial matter. I'll just remind and teach till the cows come home.

Then I walked out of the house and realized my black pants was furry and full of lint. Argh, not the first time. It's somewhat unsightly and embarrassing to walk around with spots of white lint on your black clothes, especially when you're going to have a meeting with external parties later that day.

I probably shouldn't be complaining. But sometimes, having a helper at home doesn't really help? 

Sheesh

Hmm. Someone in office just tried to cut me out of the equation on a small work item. Only found out when my boss forwarded me the email.

Dude, I don't mind handing it over to you. It's a small issue. But administratively and for proper governance, things still need to be ironed out and settled by me. I am still managing this aspect till 30 June.

Till then, back off...........zzzzz.

Joyous News!

Baby Darius Foo came into this world at 6:40 this evening with a hearty wail and weighing in at 3.12kg. He's a 50cm bundle of joy! 

Really happy for my cuz Suli!! :)) 

So good things do come to good people and to those who wait. :)))

Counting Down

5 more months. :)

Snippets....on a very drowsy afternoon......

• Didn't sleep well again last night. I felt like I was half-awake almost the entire night and I remember physically getting up and out of the bed at least 3 or 4 times, either to switch off the aircon or to pee. Totally zombified now. Can't concentrate on work.
• Mighty excited! Suli's gonna deliver anytime this afternoon! And another Baby Darius will be welcomed to this world...:) She should have undergone her epidural shot by now. Wonder if they've burst her water bag yet?
• Feeling slightly hungry but tummy is quite bloated. Herein lies the perennial question. To eat or not to eat??
• 3.5 more days till K comes home...

Transport Woes

#1. Massive jam on ECP last evening. What should have been a 10-15 mins journey turned into an hour long crawl from Kembangan to the Big Splash. Didn't help that I was feeling unwell and had cold sweaty palms throughout the whole hour. The taxi uncle was nice though and even apologized for making me go through the long journey. The care should have just been less than $10. It ended up being $22. 

#2. Loads of empty cabs this morning but none were willing to stop. I've heard of cabs ostracizing preggies but I'm not even showing that much so that can't be the reason why they didn't stop. Eventually a nice uncle stopped for me, 20mins after I started waiting for one. Looking on the bright side, after baking for a good whole 20mins directly under the bright sun, I think I manufactured enough Vitamin D to last me the entire week. 

Contentment and Happiness is...

....receiving a call at 510am from K and knowing he has safely arrived in Sydney. :) 

Disappointed

Singapore's transport system failed me miserably today. I couldn't get a cab despite trying for 20mins. I was in despair. Had no choice but to get on the bus. The jam was horrendous. 

I was rushing to get home and give K a hug before he left for his business trip. 

In the end, I reached home, just a mere 5mins after K had gotten on the cab to go to the airport. 

I'd missed him by just that hair's breadth. 

Seriously upsetting. 

It felt like a Channel 8 drama show. And I was the dejected one left behind...

Bleah!!

Didn't help too that dinner was not very appealing.....zzz

Keep up the zen Michelle!

Good. So far, I am maintaining my cool with a colleague whose favourite pastime seems to be:

• dishing out empty promises
• under-delivering work
• missing deadlines by a mile
• putting up pretenses
• over-promising anything and everything

Like I always say, you can screw yourself up for all I care, but don’t drag the rest of your teammates down with you lah........

GSS

I've never been much of a shopping person and I'm not one of those who goes mad during the Great Singapore Sale and buys loads of things.

But this year will be different. K and I have already identified various things we need to buy and we will be part of the crowd heading out to the streets and buying stuff. At least we more or less know what we want and don't need to forage around the stores too much lol.

GSS, here we come!!

p/s: My dear pockets, hang in there. I need your support lol.

That Awkward Period

When people are wondering if you're getting fatter or just expecting a child

When people greet you and their eyes invariably dart down to your tummy, but they are mindful of your privacy and don't say or ask anything. 

When they give you a guilty look because they know you discovered them staring at your belly

When they are brimming with absolute curiosity

When they start asking your direct teammates instead, if you're expecting

Lol, hilarious.

When you least expect it

Saw an office lady making her way home after work. Quite pretty with long wavy hair. She was in an office dress and ballet flats. Run-of-the-mill.

And then she took out a skate scooter from her bag and started skating to the nearby bus-stop. 

Way cute. 

Lol, even guys were turning heads and gawking at her. 

Paper Surgery

I knew at the back of my head that I was handing in a crappy piece of paper to my boss but I had little energy and zest to re-work it. 

Was called into the boss' room today and he told me the paper needed "major surgery". Bleah, I've only received such a comment one other time in all of my 5.5 years working for him and that was when I was a newbie. 

Sucks. 

BUT!!

I shall endeavor to tweak and polish it up till it shines!!! 

Being Up There

I spent 45minutes to 1hour reading through someone’s email, attached documents and formulating a suggested response to clear with my boss. I wrote 5 paragraphs recommending an action to take and sought my boss’ concurrence. He replied within 10 minutes and used only three words which probably only took him 30seconds to type: “Agree, please proceed.”

-_-''

I also want to be towkay.

Zombie face

I've not seen this group of friends for 6 months. I didn't want to disappoint them and also, I didn't want to chicken out of another social appointment so I decided to still go for a quick dinner with them. Plus, I wanted to share updates with them.

It was an unanimous reaction from all of them when they first saw me lol.

Are you ok???
You look terrible.
You sick???
What happened to you?
You're pale and your skin is blotchy!

I was feeling tired, breathless and a little queasy. But I didn't know I looked that bad. Bleah.

Things got better after I had a plate of pasta and some warm water. I was told some colour returned to me and I seemed to have more energy.

In any case, I stayed for only an hour. Sorry ladies, next gathering perhaps. I'll try to be more energetic then! Lol.

WTH?

Who the Hell Gives a 5-year-old Boy a Rifle as a Present??

Extracted from The Straits Times 2 May 2013

CHICAGO (AFP) - A five-year-old boy who was playing with a .22 caliber rifle he'd been given as a gift accidentally shot and killed his two-year-old sister in their Kentucky home, officials said. The shooting happened on Tuesday in rural Cumberland county, and the little girl was rushed to a hospital where she was pronounced dead, the state police said.

Cumberland County Coroner Gary White identified the girl as Caroline Starks and said the children's mother was cleaning the house at the time and had stepped outside onto the porch.

 "She said no more than three minutes had went by and she actually heard the rifle go off. She ran back in and found the little girl," Mr White told WKYT news.

Auntie Observations

Office Cleaner Auntie: 你今天看起来好像很累， 好像身体不舒服这样。
Me: 可是我看起来天天都是这样啊。
Auntie: 没有啦。 今天特别累。
Me: sigh......

I was telling Chloe my dark eye rings are even darker than a few months back and even darker than during the hectic event days.

They should invent a bleaching agent for the skin there....

History

When I was in my teens, I would be home in the afternoon on weekdays, sitting on the floor in front of the TV and surrounded by my schoolbooks. I'd try to finish my homework and watch TV at the same time. Granny would be sitting there in the living room as well, watching TV with me and at times if she didn't get the storyline, I'd have to explain to her. She was already somewhat hard of hearing at that time and often relied on the actors' facial expressions to conjure up the plot in her mind.

When I was done with homework or when the TV programme was over, she would sometimes tell me stories from the past. Vivid stories which enthralled me and had me imagining I was back in the 1920s, 30s and 40s. Maybe I should have recorded all those stories down. But this is always thought of in hindsight. Who would think of recording down such valuable and interesting information at the tender age of 15? It is regrettable to me now that I only remember some of those stories told to me.

Sometimes, she would tell her own story. How she came into existence, when she got married, how my Dad came into this world, etc.

When I was 17, she shared me her family tree. I don't know what hit me then but somehow I jotted down that information. On a TPJC foolacap paper lol. I must have been finishing up my homework when Granny started talking to me. There were many times when I was clearing my drawers that I thought to throw this piece of paper away but I'm glad I didn't.

Mum was helping me pack up my old dresser table drawer that day and when I went over to visit, I brought home a bag of the drawer contents to sort through at home. This piece of paper was in there.

Sure, it's yellowed and a little frayed at the edges but the ink has kept well with only slight fading. I think I'm going to digitise it for posterity. Transfer it into soft copy or something. Might show Dad as well, it's his lineage too afterall haha.

The Nuah Holiday

I've never been on a holiday where I spend more than 60% of my time "nuah-ing" in the hotel roomm. But well, there's always a first time. :) We did just that over the last week or so. Mainly because I am tired half the time and I can't walk far or long either. Am feeling quite bad for K as well since he's been the one dragging the luggage around and running errands like buying bus tickets and checking us in on the flights. And he needs to take care of me on top of all that. :( But we're going back tomorrow already. Time really flies, whether you're busy doing something or doing nothing at all. And oh yes, I still prefer HK over BKK. :)

Of Neuro Conversations and Coconuts

I went for my brain check-up about 2 weeks ago.

How time flies. The last time I saw my neurosurgeon (let’s call him JT) was back in 2009.
He said to me then “Things are looking good. Your scan looks great, everything’s settled and nothing is showing up. I’ll see you in 4 years’ time just to be safe and sure.”

And so I was back to see him on 10 April. While 4 years added wrinkles and freckles to my skin and more meat to my frame, JT still seemed pretty much the same, except for maybe a little more pudginess. He still looked pretty fresh. Wonder how he keeps it up.

JT: Hi Michelle. *flips my medical records*
Me: Hello.
JT: Wow, it’s been 4 years.
Me: Yeah...*laughs*
JT: So how’s your coconut?
Me: ???? Ah???
JT: Your head lah.
Me: Oh chey……

Lol…that was how we started the consultation. And then somewhere along the way….

JT: If you don’t mind, let me just feel your skull and see if there’s any depression where we opened you up last time.
Me: Orh ok.
JT: *prods around on my head for awhile and then stares at my head and face for a good 5 seconds*
JT: Ok lah, you seem pretty symmetrical to me. No visible depression or sinking in of the skull or anything. You should be doing alright inside your coconut.
Me: Orh ok. Good to hear!

Lol anyway, I’m scheduled for a detailed MRI either at the end of this year or early next year. The only thing he cautioned me was that he couldn't guarantee that there won't be a depression on my skull when I start hitting my 50s. We'll see how it goes till then.

My coconut will still stay safe for a good 20 years or more.

RIP Huang Wenyong

Somehow, veteran actor Huang Wenyong’s sudden death just this Saturday past has saddened me quite abit. My mum feels it too.

Maybe it’s because he’s a long-time actor who has been gracing our TV screens for the last 30 years and I grew up watching all his shows on TV. Maybe my mum feels sad because he’s around the same age as her and it strikes a chord within you when one who’s your age passes on.
In any case, 黄文永，一路好走。

Capturing a Life in Words

Back in February, I started on a blog post. The idea was a simple sraightforward one but the task behind it was quite mammoth. I didn't realise it until I started writing the first 2 paragraphs.

I chickened out and left that entry in draft mode till sometime last week when I picked it up again and wrote a whole lot more.

And then I realised, this can't be just a mere blog entry. The content alone would take up several A4 pages and if I were to add in photos, there would be much more pages taken up. The more I wrote, the more I realised that there were side stories and details which had to be thought through and maybe reasearched on.

And so, I have decided, I am embarking on a personal project.

To write Granny's story.

A biography of sorts.

From the time she was born till now, 97 years later.

Alot of it would be based on my own memory from what she shared with me when I was younger.
My current approach would be to draft up a skeletal framework of how each section of the story would be like and then fill it up with details later on, based on what I can yield from the recesses of my memory.

I have not shared this with Adrian or the parents yet but I am hoping that when I at least have a draft, I could then interview my Dad. I think he would be a treasure trove full of information to share with me about Granny. And then I can beef up the story with even more details and verify if the stuff I wrote was accurate.

I don't know if I am being ambitious.

This will definitely take a long time.

Granny

I don't think Granny even knew Dad and myself was there at her bedside yesterday.
She'd kept her eyes closed all the way, even when I was feeding her porridge.
Aside from that, she looked a little more gaunt compared to when I last saw her a few weeks ago.
Needless to say, she didn't utter a word.

Because she only opened her mouth a tiny bit for each spoonful I fed her, it took me more than an hour just to feed her her lunch. I was feeling tired and a little nauseous from the awkward position I had to be in to feed her. (I was sitting sideways on a chair and had to lean forwards each time).

After lunch, when we lowered her bed down, all she did was to continue keeping her eyes closed and then doze off to sleep.

I hope she'll be more alert the next time I see her.

Side note: The lady on Granny's left has passed on.....She had been there way before Granny started staying in the nursing home back in 2007. Sigh...

Auntie Conversations

I need to record this down for posterity. One of the most hilarious of auntie exchanges I've heard in a long time.

I was in the ladies at Parkway Parade eariler this evening. I was washing my hands at the sink when two Chinese aunties came in and they each went into a cubicle.

Very soon after, there was a flushing sound emanating from one of the cubicles.

Auntie 1: Eh, ler ho liao ah?? (Hey, you're done already??)
Auntie 2: Ya, pang jio nia mah. (Ya, just peeing only what.)
Auntie 1: Wah lau, an zua ler an ni geen? Wah doh ah buay teng kor go leh!! (Wah lau, how come you're so fast? I have not even taken off my pants!)


Another Chinese woman and myself started smiling at each other at the sinks lol....

*bored*

3.5 more hours to go before the end of the workday...and the end of the work week!

Itsies and Bitsies

I have not seen Granny for 3 weeks already. Looking forward to seeing her tomorrow.
I hope she'll be alert tomorrow. And I hope she recognises me.
I know she recognises my photograph because Dad told me so. He showed her the photos he has of me in his mobile phone.

===============
Decided to pamper myself a little last night and slapped on a gel mask. It felt really good.
And my skin felt somewhat refreshed. Woke this morning to see my skin still looking happier than past days. :)
Although it's still peppered with newly sprung up zits....-_-

===============
On a physical front, I still think that Joanne Peh looks better with Bobby Tonelli than with Qi Yiwu.

===============
Loads of weddings this year, I'd better start saving up.
One in April just past.
One more in May
Two in June.
One in July.
One in December.

Is the Year of the Snake is a good year to get married??

===============
I have been a total slacker at work over the last two weeks, especially this week.
Part of the reason is my zombified state and I can't really get down to doing much.
Another excuse is that I have an able helper doing some of the things and all I need to do now is to check her work.
Another excuse is also that....I am procratinating on some work because I don't want to do them and I don't really know how to do them lol.

Oh dear, I've been a really bad employee these 2 weeks.

Cute cartoon

Saw this on FB the other day and thought it was quite nice :)

C-O-U-N-T-D-O-W-N

And the countdown begins.

6 more months. :)

Time Zips By

Time seems to zoom past real quickly this year.
Seems like just yesterday when I was enjoying bakkwa during CNY.
It's already April!

What have I done so far?

Feels like I did alot and yet nothing all at the same time haha.

News These Days

It is somewhat depressing reading the news each day. If it's not some murder or theft or assault, it'll be some bombing or abuse or accident.

Maybe I should switch to reading trashy gossip magazines lol. Or maybe I should just watch "Keeping up with the Kardashians" or "Chicagolicious" or "Enews" all day long.

Ok, or maybe I should find myself another hobby.
I've fallen a little out of love with gardening and building terrariums though, ever since I shifted house.

Hmmm....What can I do....???

Happy Birthday to My Special K!

Bonne anniversaire mon bebe...Tu as deja 32 ans! Comme moi!
Enfin, nous sommes du même âge hehehe. :)

J'espère que tu reste heureux, en bonne santé et bénis toujours. J'espère aussi que tu peut réaliser tous tes rêves et espoirs.

Nous allons marcher ensemble toujours!
Je'taime tellement. Muacks!

Morphosis

The last 2.5 weeks have not been entirely good for me.

Nausea, giddiness and sometimes breathlessness has crept into my life. I walk at a granny's speed to minimise any of these from happening or from worsening. I have been auntified and have resorted to carrying a pack of preserved plums in my bag to chew on if I feel the nausea welling up.

I am particularly susceptible to noise, constant chatter and crowded places.

I can't sit hunched over for longer than 5 to 10 minutes otherwise the nausea and discomfort starts up. I try to sit ramrod straight and then I get shoulderaches or neckaches, especially on the bus.

I am emo as well though it comes and goes. Am trying very hard to keep a balanced state of mind.

I find myself becoming a bit of an anti-social person. I don't really go out. I go to office and then back home again. When I'm at home, I spend most of my time in bed, either watching TV or napping.

I pack my lunch and eat at my work desk everyday to avoid the crowd and stuffiness at the foodcourt. I've pulled out of a social dinner as well because I felt really unwell at the last moment. That made me feel bad.

I don't sleep well at night and I wake an average of 2 to 3 times per night. As a result, I am a zombie at work.

I hope this phase passes over soon......real soon.

Advice

Noticed that as people get older, they tend to dish out more advice, whether it was asked for or not.

I don’t know if I’m doing it as well, I hope not.

“You should…do this and that…”
“It’s better to….do this and that…”

It all stems out of goodwill and a genuine desire to help. Although I have to say it could come across as being bossy, instructive or nosey at times.

Perhaps a nicer way to provide advice to others would be something like....

“Have you tried….this other method?...”
“Maybe this other way could do the trick…”

Reminder to self….

Heart check-up

Cleared my annual heart check-up today. ECG results were normal. :)

The doc didn't comment on the blood test I did 2 weeks ago. And I forgot to ask as well. So I took the results home and compared it with the result ranges given by my health screening company last time. Everything's good. My good cholesterol HDL is in the highest range and the bad cholesterol LDL is in the lowest range. Glucose and creatinine is normal. Good!

I was nervous about the blood test results initially. I'm relieved now. :)

Ok, one more check-up next week for my brain. Been 4 years since I had a check-up for that.

Relationships

It is during those quiet times alone that thoughts float in. These few days I keep thinking about some of the relationships in my life which have been estranged, whether knowingly, unknowingly or because of misunderstandings.

Some of these people were a part of my life for a good few years. But I guess each of us have gone our separate ways for so long now it is odd and awkward picking things up again.

People come, people go. Not everyone is meant to stay. Maybe it is suffice just to see their updates, if any, on Facebook.

I should treasure those who are by my side and those who have been there for me all these while.

Sunny Days

The sun has been at its mightiest over the last 2 weeks. 9 to 12 years ago, if it were this sunny on a Sat morning , I'd rejoice for it meant a great day at Siloso beach in Sentosa. My friends and I would frolick in the sun, eat and sleep under its strong rays.

My mum always said then that we were mad. "Kids crazy enough to bake in the sun for so many hours"

I think the present day me would agree with her too. Lol.

Cheesy afternoon

We spent our afternoon today attempting to make cheese. Both attempts failed. :(

When googling for possible reasons for our failed attempts, we discovered that store bought milk is likely to be highly pasteurized at high temperatures, which affects the curdling of the milk into cheese.

We only managed to get small drifty bits of curd like in the pictures and not big smooth pieces. Bleah.

I hope

A close long-time friend of mine shared with me a few months back that he was considering getting a divorce. While he somewhat believes in the sanctity of marriage and the vows taken under oath to care for each other for a lifetime, he felt that cultural differences and the fact that they were living in different countries for most of the time had put a toll on their lives and he couldn't see how their future together looked like anymore.

I met up with him again last week and he was still mulling things over. He had just come back from his wife's home country alone after a tiff. Things didn't seem to be going well even though he tried spending a few months there with her and her family. I could feel though that he seemed more determined to get a divorce. We were just saying that it might have been a good thing that no children were in the picture otherwise things would have been more complicated.

I just received a text from him. His wife just told him that she's expecting.

Sigh.
I hope things eventually pan out well for the both of them.

Granny

It was a situation which sprung on us suddenly in the middle of January this year. She was still ok and responding to us when we brought her out during Christmas in December 2012. But in mid-Jan, Granny suddenly stopped talking. And then by early February, it seemed that she was not registering anything we said. She’d look at us, sometimes quizzically, sometimes blankly, sometimes grumpily, but all the while not talking. It seems as though she does not recognise us as well. Not me, not my Dad, not my Aunt, not my brother.

She can still feed herself though it gets as messy as a two-year-old feeding himself. Whatever it is, I am still taking this as a good sign. At least her motor skills are still there.

It has been 2 months since she’s stopped talking. Maybe I should be accepting this fact by now but I am finding it extremely hard to. Each week when I visit her, I still try to talk to her. My Dad still shows her photos and pictures of my family members on his phone. We talk to her, help to feed her and try to incite a response from her. To no avail so far.

I don’t know if it is a conscious effort on her part to refuse to speak or a part of her brain has just stopped functioning the way it’s supposed to. I miss her talking, even if it is about nonsense stuff or about things and deceased people from decades ago. At least I know she is thinking and processing some things in her mind. Right now, all we get are blank stares. We don’t even get any grunts, groans or sounds coming from her.

It is upsetting. It is always upsetting to see her deteriorating. And tears always flow when I think of her and how she used to be.

The windows to my soul

Had my eye check-up done yesterday.

While it was uncomfortable having had my pupils dilated, it was good to hear from the doc that the situation is stable. My retinas, though thin and scarred in certain aeas due to the high power in both my eyes, are still dong alright. The big piece of floater in my right eye is still there though and it won't go away.

One thing I learned, when your pupils are dilated, much more light enters your eyes. When you're in an environment with artificial lightining, you eyes still feel ok. But the moment you step into natural daylight and when the sun is shining brightly, you can't open your eyes at all. It's almost like blinding light. You start tearing too. Even squinting and opening your eyes just slightly feels highly uncomfortable.

Something I don't look forward to each year

Every year at a certain period of time, I'll get somewhat bogged down by the number of medical appointments and follow-ups and check-ups that I have. That time of the year is coming soon over the next few weeks. I have 4 appointments over the next week alone.

I forsee alot of waiting in the hospitals and clinics. Sigh.

Life moves ahead all the time

And so as I slowly close off one small sub-chapter in my life (APRICOT 2013), I am slowly opening another chapter as well.

Period of change. Adventurous times ahead!

Onward we go and onward I charge!

clothes

Desperate times calls for desparate measures? Lol...Ok I am exaggerating.
BUT, I think I really need to go shopping on Sunday!

Hmm

Someone said 12 years ago that with the type of character I have (soft, hates conflict, not much opinion, easygoing), I'd likely not survive in the corporate world.

Come to think of it, maybe that theory holds true. I've been in govt-linked or govt agencies for the last 9 years.

So much leave!!

My boss very generously gave those involved 7 days off in lieu for the event we did.
I have 21 days of annual leave. I brought over 16 days from last year.

I did not use up any leave this year yet.

Which means I have 9 months left to clear 37 days of leave and 7 days of off in lieu. 44 days in total. 

I forsee difficulty in clearing the days lol....

Afternoon Amusement

My mum can be quite cute at times.

She is at NTUC at the moment and just called me to ask "What is the difference between mint and peppermint ah? Which one should I buy to cook Assam Laksa with?? This is so confusing!!"

It's like trying to explain to someone what is the difference between banana and pisang raja or what is the difference between beef and fillet mignon....:D

APRICOT 2013

And so the event has concluded successfully. This must have been one of the toughest projects I've handled. I can't say I'm very proud of it because I think I coud have done better on several accounts. But still, I give myself a pat on the back for having survived the 3-year preparation for it lol. :)

There are still many post-event loose ends to tie up and settle. But at least I need not rush to get it done. :) Woot!

Dinners of late

For the last few days, I've been having either no dinners or strange ones. Whatever I can grab from leftover tea breaks or cocktail events....

Dinner example #1
2 small chicken char siew buns
Some prawn fritters
2 bite sized sandwiches

Dinner example #2
6 har gows
4 mushroom siew mais
2 beef siew mais
1 vegetable quiche
2 bite sizes beef rolls with enoki

Dinner example #3
1 Nissin cup noodle
A small bowl of radish sou
A slice of bread with peanut butter

2 more days to go!

I thought I'd be strong enough but I overestimated myself lol. Tiredness and some amount of exasperation and frustration led to the opening of my floodgates last night. Damn, I told myself I'd not cry during the event no matter how tough it got.

But anyway, I'm glad it happened. Somehow, I felt lighter today. :) chirpier too.

2 more days to go only! Yes!!!

Funny Morning Cab Ride

Me: Uncle, to the Shangri-la Hotel please.
Uncle: Ok. Front entrance or back door?
Me: Huh?
Uncle: You're going there to work right?
Me: Errr ya
Uncle: If I remember correctly, Shangri-la Hotel employees are not allowed to alight at the front entrance right?
Me: -_-"
Me: Uncle I'm not an employee there ...going there to organise my own event...

Day 2

Day 2 of being on site.

I feel tired already.

There are still 1, 2, 3....darn, 11 more days to go!

Jiayou Michelle!!



Side ramble:
I cannot believe how irresponsible kids are these days.

We have some poly students from TP and NYP who were "volunteered" by their lecturers to help out in the event. 5 of the 8 TP students came for the temp staff briefing yesterday but went AWOL today. When we finally managed to call and reach them, they said they weren't interested in doing the job.

LIKE HELLO?! When you commit to something, whether you like it or not, you jolly well see it through and through. Even if you don't care about your reputation or are still so very immature, how can you get your lecturer or your school into trouble? And because of your childish actions, now my manpower plans are also screwed up.

17, 18 years of age. They should already have a good idea what responsibility is. But well. They obviously don't. They don't even have the maturity to think about the repercussions of their actions. I hope these few just happen to be the few black sheep in TP and don't represent the majority of the student population there.

Lessons Learnt

There are times when you can't take things at face value.

No matter how much you trust your colleagues, sometimes they can screw you over with one bit of wrong information.

Moral of the story?

If you can, try to settle things on your own.

If you can't, make sure you arm yourself with 110% worth of information about the situation even though you've deletegated that task out. Stay on top of things. Execution is done by someone else but the main planner is still you.

Oh well...

Many a time I've missed a bus just by a hair's breadth. And it still gets to me every single time, though to a lesser extent each time. Learning each day not to sweat the small stuff.

Happy Valentines' Day Baby!

It's our first Vday as husband and wife.

We've about to spend the night working in the study lol. Am glad I forsaw this happening and we'd already celebrated the occasion on the first week of Feb haha.

Luv u Baby!

CNY Day 2

By the time 2pm came today, I was already feeling zapped out. Too much noise, too much talking, too much small talk over the last 2-3 days.

Now I just want to hide in my room and have some quiet time.

But before that...another family gathering to go to first....

Happy Birthday Mama!

Granny turns 97 today! :)

And this is the best pic I can find of her. Taken in Feb 2012.

rant

early morning i know.

dealing with imbeciles, idiots who push the blame to others, people who think they are king and other deluded people who ask for the sky and the moon and now also the stars.

high-strung start to the morning.

deep breathing. trying to keep calm.

Love you 老爸老妈

I wonder if my parents miss me or feel lonely at home now that I'm no longer staying with them. Especially on festive occasions like Xmas or CNY. Maybe to a certain extent they do.

I do miss them. And I try calling them once every few days when I can and I go home for a meal with them at least once a week.

I miss my mum's cooking and my dad's youthful excitement when he sees something interesting.

I don't miss my mum's nagging though. ;p

Taxi ah Taxi, where are you when I need you?

Wonder where all the cabs went tonight.

Ended work at 930, couldn't seem to call a cab and was stranded at MBC. Decided to go Mac for a sinful dinner (it was the only place still open) and am finally on the bus home. It's Tuesday so I'm not feeling that tired yet.

K's still working too. Hope he gets off soon.....

Thank you Auntie

Different people leave different "prints" on your life, even if it was just a 30-min encounter.

Worked till almost 930pm on Friday night before I decided to do the rest of my work at home instead.

Called a cab and met with a lovely lady cab driver. Chatted with her alot.

The best piece of advice she dished out was:

"When you're sad, a day goes by. When you're happy, a day also goes by. It's your choice, you might as well be happy."

You really do get the most interesting and awesome stuff from cabbies.

Groggy morning

Wore my pants back to front today. Was wondering how my pants turned out to be ill-fitting and had pockets in front lol...

May the rest of the week bring good news, good resolutions, good progress and many more good things.

Jiayou!!

Hope I stay strong

Second time this week that I lost it and the floodgates opened. Frustrated. Upset. Time is running tight on us. And we are spending (wasting) time dealing with people who are a@@holes.

Full circle

I was sharing with both Ally and K that looking after an elderly person is quite akin to looking after a young child. The only difference is that one runs around and the other either moves slowly or is confined to a small space.

Granny was stubborn today and wanted to feed herself. Dad and I let her do so and she was dribbling bits of her porridge on herself. We're all well-trained now and make sure she wears a bib for every meal. After awhile though, she became tired and allowed me to feed her. It took a long time and she was falling asleep. I had to nudge her lips with the spoon each time I wanted to feed her.

From time to time, she'd miss getting everything on the spoon into her mouth and some would dribble on her lips or chin. Tissues would come into play at this point.

When she's full or doesn't want any food, she'd either shake her head or refuse to open her eyes or refuse to open her mouth.

If she's hungry, and you're not feeding her fast enough, she'd get grumpy and grumble, or she'd nudge you to show she wants more and quickly. Or she'd just open her mouth wide.

Today, I found myself smelling her diapers to see if she had poo-ed. And then it suddenly hit me that both Ally and some of my other friends who are mothers would do the same to their babies or toddlers.

So I think what they say is true. It really is a full circle.
When you near the end ofyour journey, you kind of go back to how you started that journey....

Milestone

Today marks the first time ever that 2-year-old Kyler called me Auntie Michelle. :)
His pronunciation was quite spot on too lol...Well done little man!

But I think 4 syllables must have been quite tough on him because he switched to Auntie Shell after that...and then he finally gave up and stopped calling me altogether hahha.

Mind's on a whirl

Thousand and one things. I bathe and suddenly remember something I need to do. I walk and suddenly remember another thing. Either that or I'm lost in my thoughts and I miss what's going on at that point in time.

Like how I almost missed my bus this morning, flagged late and hence got an early morning scolding from the bus uncle. The third time this week someone has "yelled" or "scolded" or "ranted" at me.

忍

I
Must
Not
Cry

I've some wisdom afterall

The dentist told me this afternoon that I've a wisdom tooth on the upper left corner. I know I've one on the upper right corner but this one of the upper left is new to me. It's growing out horizontally and I hope it doesn't cut into my inner cheek next time!

Xmas and CNY

This will be the first year I am officially giving out angpows during CNY. Somehow, I enjoy the physical act of wrapping angpows and presents. Choosing wrappers, deciding what style to wrap the gifts in, deciding what ribbons to use, making gift cards to attach to the gifts, etc. And choosing angpows and counting new notes to put in them....Therapeutic in a certain way. And it brings me a certain joy too.

But sometimes when I see the dent they make in my bank balance.........@_@

Lol

Happy Birthday My Lovely Ladies

5 Jan was Ally's birthday. We popped by her place for a surprise. PQ, Geraldine, Min Yen and I. PQ's birthday was on 6 Jan, so the rest of us planned a surprise for her within Ally's surprise. Sounds like the movie Inception? Lol perhaps. Needless to say that I had several concurrent and "sneaky" Whatsapp threads going on at the same time. Had to "sneakily" place the cake order and send them over to my place first too lol.

I hope everyone enjoyed themselves that day. :) I know everyone thought the cake and cupcakes were super cute haha. Here are some pics....

End of My Tether (almost?)

Arrows flying.
Fingers pointing.
"Spannas" being thrown.
Last min unreasonable requests.

This is a losing game. An absolute loss.
I can't see how at all this will result in a gain for us.

想哭但是哭不出来。

Long Saturday

- Visited gran in the morning
- Went to my parents' place for lunch
- Discovered K's dad was about to be warded at CGH for observation for a medical condition
- Went over to meet K at CGH
- Then Went to do marketing for the family because K's parents didn't get a chance to do it
- Got home, stoned for 45mins then left to go CGH again to visit FIL
- Left to go for a dinner appointment
- Midway through dinner, my own dad called. Gran was being sent to hospital for very low blood pressure
- Finished dinner and went back to CGH again....
- She was stuck in AnE, couldn't do much so we left after hanging around for an hour plus...

我要加油

快要疯了。随时随地，不管是weekday或是weekend, 早上，下午或晚上，都会接到和工作相关的简讯。今天是星期六， 早上830就被简讯吵醒。

Overwhelmed.

Hang in there. 7 more weeks before it all ends.

time flew.......

time flew by this week. i remember thinking at the start of the week "what a long week ahead".
and then now it's already the end of the work week. gosh....including the work I did at home at night and the stuff i'd be doing over the weekend, i think i'll clock 60-62 hours this week.

barely hanging in there for today. feeling slightly stoned and tired already.

ganbatte! ganbatte! ganbatte!
5 more weeks to go before the start of the event and 7 more weeks to go till the end of the event!

The Start of the New Work Year

Pulling in 12-14 hour workdays and settling some work stuff on weekends as well will pretty much be the modus operandi till early March.

I foresee a hole in my pocket due to increased cab fares.

In the meantime, just bite the bullet I say. And I hope I don't get more pimples than I already do. Oh ya, and I hope I don't put on weight from the late dinners!

Pre-Requisites of a Project Manager

1. Control Freak.
2. Micro-Manager.
3. Not Trusting.
4. Highly Assertive.
5. All of the Above.

Holly Jolly Christmas Presents

I received some presents this year that I'd never ever gotten before lol. Some notable ones include...

1. A Rowenta hairdryer. 2000W salon grade. The box had "Elite Model Look" stamped on it lol.
2. A nightie. A purple one with a satin-like finish. I think K liked this too hahaha.
3. A New Balance runner's singlet. Pity it was an M-size. Quite baggy on me but I loved the colour.
4. A mini book about 5cm long, 4cm wide and maybe 2.5cm thick. Many many nice quotes about wisdom within it.
5. A customised notebook/diary cover with my name stitched onto it. This was cool...

Other stuff included:

• Chocolates
• Notebooks
• A tote bag
• A 2013 calendar
• Pens
• A luggage tag. Neon pink with the words "Not Your Bag!"
• Concealer...
• Capitaland vouchers
• Tea from TWG

That's quite a long list! lol....
I still have Ally's present which I've not collected from PQ's place yet....:)

The Year End

At times, I still feel like a teenager. Gawky, awkward, not confident, uncomfortable, on the fringe and left out.

The year end never fails to bring me over to the "emo" end of the spectrum.

Have a Cuppa!

This year, I made open terrariums for Ally and PQ for Xmas. I've never given out "living things" before so this was a first. (Plants ARE living things right?)

Here are some pics for posterity. Forgot to take the pic after I had put some white lace detailing along the rim of the cups. The cups look plain in these pics haha. The pink cup was naturally for Ally. :)

One Day In Office

It was 630pm. I was tired and wanted to go home early. So I packed up and left. Walked past my boss' room on my way out.

Me: 老板, bye *waves goodbye*
Boss: Ooi!! How come leave so early?!?! *pretends to stare at watch*
Boss: Alamak why you leave before me?!?!
Me: *rolls eyes* Excuse me hello! My official working hours are till 6pm leh. Then last night I left at 7-plus almost 8pm leh. Wah Lau.
Boss: *guffaws*  kidding lah alamak...go home lah go home lah. *beams at me*
Me: Hahaha okok bye! You don't stay too late ok. 再见!!

A colleague from another department witnessed this and told me he was amazed I could speak in such a light-hearted and candid manner to my boss. My 62 yr-old old-timer boss who used to have a reputation of being one of the most rude, grumpy and bad-assed boss when he was heading another department. He would call his staff into his office and scream at them when he felt they did something wrong.

That colleague was surprised that I was talking to my boss like as if he was an equal. And that my boss could be so open and fun when talking to me.

Time mellows a person I guess.

Or maybe I am just too lovable. :) Muahahahhaa.

Lapse

I had a great morning, a nice afternoon and a nice dinner with K's family. But things got to me after dinner and the emotional side of me took over.

It was quiet. I was alone. And I found myself crying in the middle of the study room where I was wrapping up a teddy bear I'd bought for Granny for Christmas.

I was thinking of her and then other thoughts came. I guess I was overwhelmed. 

Inadequacies. Frustration. Helplessness. Self-doubt. Realisation. Fear. Weakness.

When you start holding things in, they accumulate after awhile. When they accumulate, they might overflow.

client vs agent

Between client-side and agency-side, I think I'll always choose client-side and I'll advise others to do so as well.

You might learn more on the agency-side but in return you'll get far greater amounts of shit heaped onto you.

I don't have the patience, humbleness and strength to be on the agency-side.

Janus - Boyfriend

I don't usually follow Kpop but I happened to switch to Channel V 2 days ago and they were showing some Kpop videos. This MV popped up and I actually loved the song! Lol. I've been playing this song the whole day today. :)

Enjoy the song.

Janus by the new group Boyfriend.

I hope this is not the start of my conversion to Kpop. *horrors*

P/S: These boys look like they're barely out of their teens. Wonder how old they are...hmm. Maybe I'll google them later.

Open Letter

Come back soon sayang...Miss you.
It's getting colder here in Singapore and it's raining everyday. I want my hugs!! Lol. :)

Strange but Awesome

I've never experienced this before. I was on the bus home after work.

There was a Korean mum with 2 children, a boy and a girl. Both were 7 to 8 years old. I knew they were Korean because they were speaking in their native language. The kids, being kids, were being rowdy and were chatting loudly in Korean.

And then suddenly I heard this:

Girl: Give me.
Boy: No. Dun wan.
Girl: Why you dun want to give me leh?
Boy: Because I dun wan to lor.
Girl: Please? Oma (mum in Korean), he dun wan to give me.
Mum: *says something in Korean*
Boy: *to his sister* Aiyah you are very irritating.

It was downright surreal. The two Korean kids were conversing in fluent Singlish.

If I were looking at them or if they weren't speaking Korean in the beginning, I would have thought they were some local kids. Maybe these two have spent most of their young lives growing up in Singapore. They're probably studying in a local school as well because they spoke English with a Singaporean accent. Lol.

Losing steam

Another rejection from an important potential sponsor. Registrations are slow moving. Losing faith.

Undeniably the toughest project I've ever undertaken. Most of the lows in 2012 were because of it.

2 years in the running. 2 more months to go.

I thought there should be more light when we're nearing the end of the tunnel.

But there seems to be lesser light. Getting dimmer.

This almost looks set to be a loss-making project.

So Sweet!!! - Part Two

I really feel so loved lah!!!

My little cousin who is working in the next building from me just called to see if I was still in the office. She wanted to send me home because she was worried that I'd be caught in the heavy rain!

The warmth and fuzziness just doubled!

Maybe the Xmas spirit of giving and sharing is in the air haha.

So Sweet!!

It's cold, wet and rainy now. The sky is so dark, the clouds are so heavy and ominous and the thunder is downright scary.

Feeling warm and fuzzy inside though. Because of 2 SMS-es.

My mum texted me at 620pm to tell me thst there was very heavy rain and asked me if I had an umbrella with me.

And then my FIL texted me at 625pm to say that there was heavy rain too. And to ask if I needed him to fetch me home from office.

I feel loved. :) :) :)

Little Potty

I've always enjoyed building or making things with my hands. I've not built terrariums for a long time and thought I'd just make a small simple one since I had new leaves on my existing pot of red fittonia.

First time I'm using such a small container. No points for guessing, it's the ubiquitous small spice bottle from IKEA. :)

Energy, wherefore art thou?

I want to do things and get presents settled in time for Xmas. Kah Hui's going on leave next Thursday and I need to finish making her present before that.

The body is weak though. It's 9pm and I've just finished dinner. I have not bathed yet but I'm already lying flat out on the bed feeling exhausted. Eyelids are closing on me.

How ah? :(

Thoughts

Sometimes, the more you think about something or want something, the more it eludes you. It would do good to relax and let things flow naturally, but sometimes, it's easier said than done too. Hmm.

Happy News from the Cuz!

It was like telepathy. She was thinking of me yesterday and I was thinking of her too. I didn't manage to text her yesterday though and decided to MSN her today instead to see how she's doing.

She's pregnant! :) 15 weeks.

Really really happy for her. She went through a rough patch early this year and I'm glad that she's managed to conceive. :)

I'm supposed to help with naming the baby lol, but we have no idea about the baby's gender yet. She's going for a scan next week and hopefully we'll know!

The people in your life

There are some relationships in my life which have almost melted away into oblivion or there's so much dust and cobwebs obscuring them that I've almost forgotten they were there.

I used to think that the other party was at fault for not putting in enough effort to keep the relationship alive and healthy. That might have been selfish thinking. It suddenly occurred to me recently that maybe I did not put in enough effort too.

Maybe I should pick things up again and work harder? Better late than never?

Le Bon Weekend

It was a good weekend. Tiring but fulfilling.

Saturday
- visited my granny as usual
- had lunch with my folks and spent the early part of the afternoon running around with my mum in Tampines running errands
- popped by PQ's place for our weekly visit. Met up with Ally there. Ran around with Kyler and cradled 2-week-old Darius! Baby D happened to burp when he got into my arms lol.
- and then it was back to my parents' place for dinner with them, my brother, my sister-in-law and my nephew.

Sunday
- went to run errands again, this time with K. finally settled all the xmas presents which needed to be bought.
- finished with wrapping all the presents

And now for the rest of Sunday evening where I hope to.....
-finish making at least 2 of the 3 Xmas presents I intend to make/assemble this year
- watch Asia's Next Top model with K
- spend some quality time at home with K before sending him off to the airport....

$3,200 and counting

公司欠了我很多钱。那个Claims Processing Unit 真的process得很慢。圣诞节和农历新年要到了。开销会蛮大的， 真希望他们快点把钱还给我！

Christmas

The Christmas mood hits me later and later the older I get.

But it's still.....

*sings*

The most wonderful time of the year...

I guess the jingles, sales, lights, decorations and mad shopping brings out the joyousness and festivities of the season. 


The only thing is, K will be away for 2 weeks from the 9th till the 22nd. :(

Groping in the Dark

Caught in a strange situation where even my vendor "complained" to me about my staff. Spent half an hour talking to him while I was making my way home from work earlier this evening.

Not quite sure how to handle this hmm.

So now I have overseas people hinting to me that maybe she should not be so hot-headed and speak so freely. I have internal team-mates who have casually mentioned to me that she maybe should keep a rein on her emotions. And now I have a vendor who is giving me feedback that they are trying hard but are somewhat exasperated with her.


She was hired to get the job done for me, not to add onto my burden of dealing with these people-to-people relationships.....

How to manage this?

I'm new to this. Never quite experienced this before.
Groping in the dark somewhat. Trying to learn from all this at the same time....