Heh Heh Heh...Just got my Tao Zhe tix!
26th November here I COME!!!
Whoopee!! Hope this'll be as good as Soul Power!
Am dragging him along *evil grin* haa...
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Just came back from one of my check-ups at SGH..system's all screwed up...Appointment was at 0930am. Doc only came into his office at 0950am. and I was waiting from 0910am. When I finally went in, it took all of 5 minutes before I left the room to make payment for the doc's consultation..Waited 40 mins for 5 mins worth of review...
And I realised that the docs are earning super BIG bucks for the hospitals..Piangzz..wait for 40 mins, go in for 5 mins, come out again and I had to pay $82 for the consultation services! $82 just for listening to my heartbeat, asking me a few questions, taking my blood pressure and reading my ECG results (which by the way is only 1 singuler piece of paper)...But I'm super lucky that I have the MHS card..at least I only have to co-pay 15 bucks...
Am having 2 other review sessions with other docs this week...that's gonna be helluva lot of waiting time this week manz...Time to stock up on more books/mags...
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Was listening to the 2 new albums which I got on Saturday...hmm....
Jay's "November's Chopin" doesn't seem to be as good as his "Qi Li Xiang" album..though Track No 5 is GOOD! The lyrics fully brings forth his disdain for the papparazzi and their infringement on his personal space..
Jamie Cullum's 2nd album is disappointingly S L O W...*yawns* it's more jazzy than the 1st one..and the tracks are much much slower than those in the 1st album..One thing caught my eye though...the way the lyrics were presented in the little booklet...kinda like scrapbook style..writings, musings with little pics drawn in here and there for effect...
Maybe they'll sound better after a few more times of listening to them...haaa....words of consolation??
Monday, November 07, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
which is which?
Over-protectiveness vs Over-bearingness vs Well-meaningness...
Not sure if brother had so much head-butts into his life from mum and dad when he was at my age..Or perhaps he had less because they were still working then (and thus had less time)....And of course, the inevitable..he's a guy and is thus entitled to less interference cos he is less at the losing end...as was highlighted during an argument with dad a few years ago...hmm..
Appreciate the thoughts and concern..
Appreciate the love and care..
Appreciate the advice as well...
But it does get over-bearing at times, even if things are said or done in the spirit of well-meaningness.
As is the story of the moth emerging from its cocoon. When a moth is ready to emerge from the safety of its cocoon into the outside world, help not to break its cocoon apart to release it. You might think that your actions have spared the moth the tiring struggle of breaking the cocoon in order to gain its freedom. But in actual fact, that very path of struggle and perseverence endured by the moth is the essential key to the strengthening of its wings and ultimately its survival and life.
Hmm..hope my wings are strong....*flap flap flap*
Not sure if brother had so much head-butts into his life from mum and dad when he was at my age..Or perhaps he had less because they were still working then (and thus had less time)....And of course, the inevitable..he's a guy and is thus entitled to less interference cos he is less at the losing end...as was highlighted during an argument with dad a few years ago...hmm..
Appreciate the thoughts and concern..
Appreciate the love and care..
Appreciate the advice as well...
But it does get over-bearing at times, even if things are said or done in the spirit of well-meaningness.
As is the story of the moth emerging from its cocoon. When a moth is ready to emerge from the safety of its cocoon into the outside world, help not to break its cocoon apart to release it. You might think that your actions have spared the moth the tiring struggle of breaking the cocoon in order to gain its freedom. But in actual fact, that very path of struggle and perseverence endured by the moth is the essential key to the strengthening of its wings and ultimately its survival and life.
Hmm..hope my wings are strong....*flap flap flap*
My Saturday night
Went gai-gai with ahboy just now...did some shopping and even went grocery shopping haa... got myself flour and choc chips....shall attempt to bake a perfect brownie cake again next week! The last brownie ended up in the trash... =(
Caught a show too..."Tom Yum Goong"...hmm..quite impressed by the way the choreography was done for some of the fighting scenes...comparable with Jackie Chan and sometimes, even more impressive!!...then there were the moments of picturesque Thailand being featured in the film too..
The storyline was C R A P...and in the way of most crappy shows, the plot lost its focus and spun out of control...so it kinda ended up more like a documentary to showcase violence, gore and fighting scenes...it was quite violent lah..torn tendons, cracked bones, pierced eyes, dislocated joints, bloody heads...blah blah blah...
Enough of that. One of the highlights of the day...drumroll plssss....had tepppanyaki for dinner! WOOHOO!! *slurpz*
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YAY!!! Peiqi was at that shop in Concourse this afternoon and helped me get the handphone strap & clover-leaf pendant! Heeee.....
Have to meet up soon to pay her the $$ and get it from her....=)
Caught a show too..."Tom Yum Goong"...hmm..quite impressed by the way the choreography was done for some of the fighting scenes...comparable with Jackie Chan and sometimes, even more impressive!!...then there were the moments of picturesque Thailand being featured in the film too..
The storyline was C R A P...and in the way of most crappy shows, the plot lost its focus and spun out of control...so it kinda ended up more like a documentary to showcase violence, gore and fighting scenes...it was quite violent lah..torn tendons, cracked bones, pierced eyes, dislocated joints, bloody heads...blah blah blah...
Enough of that. One of the highlights of the day...drumroll plssss....had tepppanyaki for dinner! WOOHOO!! *slurpz*
=========
YAY!!! Peiqi was at that shop in Concourse this afternoon and helped me get the handphone strap & clover-leaf pendant! Heeee.....
Have to meet up soon to pay her the $$ and get it from her....=)
Friday, November 04, 2005
Munching on Mac & fries now...
If someone were to ask you a mundane question like: what's your favourite animal? What would your answer be?
Horses and wolves would rank on the top of my list. Have always been fascinated with grey wolves since I was a kid. And especially so after I read "White Fang" by Jack London when I was in Pri 5. Love the way they prowl around in the night whilst hunting..Not much of a fan for red wolves though.
For horses...like their refined-ness and aura of regality (is there such a word??)...In fact, I even had an imaginary horse as my pet when I was in primary school..haa...her name was Chestnut...golly...the fertile mind of a 10yr-old..and her breed was the Apaloosa...one of the breeds highly favoured by Red Indians cos they were faster and more sturdy.....(haha....feels like as if I'm watching too much National Geographic hor?)
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haa...not sure if I've shared this before...buthaving a tattoo is one of the ideas I've been keeping at the back of my mind for eons...
why eons? cos I've got a low threshold for pain...and I've heard horror stories of how even guys cry..or girls who ask to stop midway through cos they can't take it anymore (and have to come back for a few more times just to finish the design)...*sheesh*
If I were to get one, it'll be on the hip, just on one side only and those that stretch from left to right. I'll prefer to do it on the right side only...
Anyway...here are some designs which I would consider if I were ever to have one done...
This last one's
the astrological sign
for Libra.
Horses and wolves would rank on the top of my list. Have always been fascinated with grey wolves since I was a kid. And especially so after I read "White Fang" by Jack London when I was in Pri 5. Love the way they prowl around in the night whilst hunting..Not much of a fan for red wolves though.
For horses...like their refined-ness and aura of regality (is there such a word??)...In fact, I even had an imaginary horse as my pet when I was in primary school..haa...her name was Chestnut...golly...the fertile mind of a 10yr-old..and her breed was the Apaloosa...one of the breeds highly favoured by Red Indians cos they were faster and more sturdy.....(haha....feels like as if I'm watching too much National Geographic hor?)
=========
haa...not sure if I've shared this before...buthaving a tattoo is one of the ideas I've been keeping at the back of my mind for eons...
why eons? cos I've got a low threshold for pain...and I've heard horror stories of how even guys cry..or girls who ask to stop midway through cos they can't take it anymore (and have to come back for a few more times just to finish the design)...*sheesh*
If I were to get one, it'll be on the hip, just on one side only and those that stretch from left to right. I'll prefer to do it on the right side only...
Anyway...here are some designs which I would consider if I were ever to have one done...
This last one's
the astrological sign
for Libra.
Do you know your roots?
Was watching Animal Planet in the afternoon just now and they were showing a documentary on a Red Indian tribe called the Nez Perce. They’ve been around since the 17th century and the now modern-day descendants are currently living in the state of Idaho in North America and some are also in Canada.
It’s amazing…from generation to generation, customs and traditions have been passed down word for word from father to son, mother to daughter. Through centuries, up till this day, they are still practicing the same customs as their forefathers and ancestors.
Kinda got to thinking about the Peranakan culture and how it’s slowly getting lost and diluted in SG. Things are still pretty much alive and active in Malacca...but over here in SG, the younger generation knows nuts about it.
Me too. What little I know of the culture comes from my granny.
Things like the intricate beadwork of the kasut manik (beaded slippers), the various kueh-kueh made on festive occasions, the saarong kebaya (much like the malay traditional garb for ladies) worn by the nonyas on special occasions, etc…Not forgetting the wonderful Pernakan dishes. Once my granny’s generation passes on, so much of these cultures, customs and traditions will be lost…and my granny’s already 89.
Wonder if Catherine Goh & her hubby (both true-blue born and bred Peranakans) taught their daughters such knowledge…??
Saw a documentary that day on CNA..they were showcasing this bibik (auntie) who has a shop in Katong (which used to be where the mainstream Peranakans of SG stayed, aside from Joo Chiat). She teaches people how to sew the kasut manik and even how to do embroidery on the kebaya. Her shop’s also a mini-museum where she keeps traditional items, jewellery, trinkets and other knick-knacks…
Maybe I should pop by Katong one fine day…just to have a look. Think her shop’s near the Holy Family Church.
Observation
Hmm...something which I’ve noticed is a habit of some people, my ownself included.
That is the preferred use of phrases like:
“I might be..”
“I maybe…”
“Perhaps…”
Over phrases like:
“I can…”
“I will be able to…”
“I should be able to…”
I’ll name such phrases in the foremost category as “non-committal” & “non-conclusive” and the one in the latter category as “committed” and “conclusive”.
So why do people prefer the first category? Simply because such statements leave you room and breathing space to be able to turn-tail and flee if the situation calls for it. Am not exactly sure how to pen down my thoughts.
Something like…using such non-committal statements allows you to keep your options open and entitles yourself to more choices by not committing yourself to anything too concrete. For example…“I might be joining you guys for dinner…but then again, I might not be, see how it goes.”
What do you call this? Defensiveness? Protecting yourself? So that you can squirrel away and fly your friends’ kite without feeling too much guilt? (I didn’t commit to joining you guys mah…so I’m allowed to not feel guilty..)
That is the preferred use of phrases like:
“I might be..”
“I maybe…”
“Perhaps…”
Over phrases like:
“I can…”
“I will be able to…”
“I should be able to…”
I’ll name such phrases in the foremost category as “non-committal” & “non-conclusive” and the one in the latter category as “committed” and “conclusive”.
So why do people prefer the first category? Simply because such statements leave you room and breathing space to be able to turn-tail and flee if the situation calls for it. Am not exactly sure how to pen down my thoughts.
Something like…using such non-committal statements allows you to keep your options open and entitles yourself to more choices by not committing yourself to anything too concrete. For example…“I might be joining you guys for dinner…but then again, I might not be, see how it goes.”
What do you call this? Defensiveness? Protecting yourself? So that you can squirrel away and fly your friends’ kite without feeling too much guilt? (I didn’t commit to joining you guys mah…so I’m allowed to not feel guilty..)
Of Words, Of Speeches, Of Interactions
Just finished reading ST...there was an interesting article by playwright Huzir Sulaiman, on the oft-written subject of Singapore-Malaysia ties.
His take on the sometimes strained ties between the two countries is that it's due to a matter of how politicians in the two countries speak. Not in the sense of intonations or pronunciations or accents. But rather in the sense of openness, directness, clarity and straightforwardness of speech.
Just to paraphrase Mr Sulaiman’s article in a condensed form. Malaysian political speech is hardly straightforward and can be seen as sometimes playful. They do not take each other literally and on the same note, do not expect to be taken literally. On the other side of the causeway, political speech in Singapore is precise and calculated, clear, measured, and thought through. Singaporeans expect to be taken at face value and similarly, view others at face value.
I think his theory, while hypothetical as he claims, definitely has truth in it and can be extrapolated to people-people relations too. I dare not speak for the majority but at least for some of us, haven’t we been faced with situations where you say one thing and mean that one thing, but the other party perceived it differently? Guess that’s how tensions and misunderstandings occur?
Still on the same note, the Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus theory speaks of the same thing. Just think of Women as Malaysia (hardly straightforward) and Men as Singapore (direct & straightforward)?? hmm.....though there are always exceptions to the case...
Two cents worth.
His take on the sometimes strained ties between the two countries is that it's due to a matter of how politicians in the two countries speak. Not in the sense of intonations or pronunciations or accents. But rather in the sense of openness, directness, clarity and straightforwardness of speech.
Just to paraphrase Mr Sulaiman’s article in a condensed form. Malaysian political speech is hardly straightforward and can be seen as sometimes playful. They do not take each other literally and on the same note, do not expect to be taken literally. On the other side of the causeway, political speech in Singapore is precise and calculated, clear, measured, and thought through. Singaporeans expect to be taken at face value and similarly, view others at face value.
I think his theory, while hypothetical as he claims, definitely has truth in it and can be extrapolated to people-people relations too. I dare not speak for the majority but at least for some of us, haven’t we been faced with situations where you say one thing and mean that one thing, but the other party perceived it differently? Guess that’s how tensions and misunderstandings occur?
Still on the same note, the Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus theory speaks of the same thing. Just think of Women as Malaysia (hardly straightforward) and Men as Singapore (direct & straightforward)?? hmm.....though there are always exceptions to the case...
Two cents worth.
My David Tao!!!
I wanna watch the David Tao concert!
I wanna watch the David Tao concert!
I wanna watch the David Tao concert!
After his Soul Power in 2003, I promised myself I'll attend his concert the next time round he comes to SG. Which happens to be on 26th November!!
Tao Zhe rawkzzz! Woohoo!!!
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Am sifting through stacks of forms to fill up for my insurance claims...whoa...the hassle of it all...
Didn't realise so many ding-dongs here and there need to be undertaken....but think it can be simplified in one simple statement.
"If it's $$ coming in, everything is easy, if it's $$ going out, everything is difficult."
BAH.
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Realised the diff between Chinese & English songs...Chinese ones are usually more sentimental, closer to the heart and "soft"...English ones are usually "harder" and also speaks of issues aside of those concerning affairs of the heart...
Chinese ones are usually of soft rock, rock, pop, RnB and the occassional rap, hip hop or jazz. English songs span across wider genres like the ones mentioned earlier...and blues, country, industrial, new age, indie, reggae, yada yada...
Music...salvation to the soul...makes or breaks your mood... :)
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Muahahha....Yao Kun aka YanDaoKia (his blog link is on the right hand side)....has joined the New Urban Male 2005 contest!! Will be good exposure for him if he gets spotted by any agency or magazine. :) Hope I get the chance to go support him next Thursday @ PS....6pm....
It's terrifying strutting down the stage in front of so many people..whilst having a huge smile plastered to your face...been there done that..oh so long ago...the stares and the lights all but focused on you...and the scrutinies and the at times contemptuous glares...
So do hope to give him some form of encouragement...albeit not in the sense of holding up placards and screaming his name out loud like some nubile guy-crazy teenage girl...haa...
Way to go man!!
I wanna watch the David Tao concert!
I wanna watch the David Tao concert!
After his Soul Power in 2003, I promised myself I'll attend his concert the next time round he comes to SG. Which happens to be on 26th November!!
Tao Zhe rawkzzz! Woohoo!!!
===========
Am sifting through stacks of forms to fill up for my insurance claims...whoa...the hassle of it all...
Didn't realise so many ding-dongs here and there need to be undertaken....but think it can be simplified in one simple statement.
"If it's $$ coming in, everything is easy, if it's $$ going out, everything is difficult."
BAH.
===========
Realised the diff between Chinese & English songs...Chinese ones are usually more sentimental, closer to the heart and "soft"...English ones are usually "harder" and also speaks of issues aside of those concerning affairs of the heart...
Chinese ones are usually of soft rock, rock, pop, RnB and the occassional rap, hip hop or jazz. English songs span across wider genres like the ones mentioned earlier...and blues, country, industrial, new age, indie, reggae, yada yada...
Music...salvation to the soul...makes or breaks your mood... :)
===========
Muahahha....Yao Kun aka YanDaoKia (his blog link is on the right hand side)....has joined the New Urban Male 2005 contest!! Will be good exposure for him if he gets spotted by any agency or magazine. :) Hope I get the chance to go support him next Thursday @ PS....6pm....
It's terrifying strutting down the stage in front of so many people..whilst having a huge smile plastered to your face...been there done that..oh so long ago...the stares and the lights all but focused on you...and the scrutinies and the at times contemptuous glares...
So do hope to give him some form of encouragement...albeit not in the sense of holding up placards and screaming his name out loud like some nubile guy-crazy teenage girl...haa...
Way to go man!!
Thursday, November 03, 2005
If You're Not The One
If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield
If you're not the one
Then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one
Then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine
Then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine
Would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to run away
But I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don't need you
Then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you
Then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me
Then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me
Then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to run away but I can't take it
I don't understand
If I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart
And pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don't want to run away but I can't take it
I don't understand
If I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?
=========
Still remember this was one of those songs which kept playing on the airwaves just soon after it was launched...That kind of touchy-feely song which leaves you wanting more...
If you're not the one
Then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one
Then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine
Then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine
Would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to run away
But I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don't need you
Then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you
Then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me
Then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me
Then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to run away but I can't take it
I don't understand
If I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart
And pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don't want to run away but I can't take it
I don't understand
If I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?
=========
Still remember this was one of those songs which kept playing on the airwaves just soon after it was launched...That kind of touchy-feely song which leaves you wanting more...
lalala...
Eddie came by in the afternoon today. Brought Aye Mon along..finally got to meet her after 2 years..haa...very sweet gal...happy for him...
Just chatted, watched abit of TV and played with hammie too...
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Why do some people like to bear grudges?
And why do some like to think of the worse of others' intentions?
Isn't it easier to just live and let live?
Or ain't it easier to just not view others' intentions with a distrustful eye?
hmm...
Just chatted, watched abit of TV and played with hammie too...
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Why do some people like to bear grudges?
And why do some like to think of the worse of others' intentions?
Isn't it easier to just live and let live?
Or ain't it easier to just not view others' intentions with a distrustful eye?
hmm...
Insomnia
Sleep eludes me yet again
As I toss, i turn
To no avail
The body is tired
But the mind ain't so
And so the cycle repeats itself as it has
For the past few nights
Eyes wide open
As I stare blankly into the ceiling
Fingers clasped tightly
As I hug my pillow tight in an embrace
Willing the tide of slumber to wash over me
But it comes not
And so I lay there still
Reflecting and just waiting
Sheep no. 1, sheep no. 2, sheep no. 3...
Warm milk and some food to dull the senses
Clearing the mind of any thoughts
Chanting Buddhist mantras
Walking around the house in the darkness
All tried and tested
To no effect
Little wonder why dark rings fringe my eyes
And tiredness encapsulate my day
Attempts to coax the Z-monster out of its lair will be made again now
With more gutso and perserverance
==========
It's suddenly dawned on me that it's the 3rd of Nov already...Zain's bday. Dear smart Zain...who left us all in 1995, at the tender age of 15....due to mouth cancer...
Nevertheless, Happy Birthday..wherever you are...
As I toss, i turn
To no avail
The body is tired
But the mind ain't so
And so the cycle repeats itself as it has
For the past few nights
Eyes wide open
As I stare blankly into the ceiling
Fingers clasped tightly
As I hug my pillow tight in an embrace
Willing the tide of slumber to wash over me
But it comes not
And so I lay there still
Reflecting and just waiting
Sheep no. 1, sheep no. 2, sheep no. 3...
Warm milk and some food to dull the senses
Clearing the mind of any thoughts
Chanting Buddhist mantras
Walking around the house in the darkness
All tried and tested
To no effect
Little wonder why dark rings fringe my eyes
And tiredness encapsulate my day
Attempts to coax the Z-monster out of its lair will be made again now
With more gutso and perserverance
==========
It's suddenly dawned on me that it's the 3rd of Nov already...Zain's bday. Dear smart Zain...who left us all in 1995, at the tender age of 15....due to mouth cancer...
Nevertheless, Happy Birthday..wherever you are...
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Rain
I look out through my windows
As rivulets of rain
Cut across them
Forming meandering trickles
My vision is blurred
As I try
To look out into the night sky
Bright pink and lined with fat heavy clouds
Somehow
In that blazing downpour
Of raindrops and lightning
I felt peace
As I sit here now
With the pitter patter all but gone
I feel a strange strange
Sense of surreality
The air still reeks
Of dampness and crispness
I think I shall hit the sack
Slumberland seems a good respite
As rivulets of rain
Cut across them
Forming meandering trickles
My vision is blurred
As I try
To look out into the night sky
Bright pink and lined with fat heavy clouds
Somehow
In that blazing downpour
Of raindrops and lightning
I felt peace
As I sit here now
With the pitter patter all but gone
I feel a strange strange
Sense of surreality
The air still reeks
Of dampness and crispness
I think I shall hit the sack
Slumberland seems a good respite
Mr Jason Tan
haha....am finally writing about this buddy of mine..
Let's see...1st got to know him during the Great Singapore Surf in March 2004...when he was one of the temp helpers assigned to my team under the then NTUC Computer Training Centre...Can't exactly remember the sequence of events but we had each other's contacts and somehow we exchanged emails too I think and after the event was over, we added each other on MSN.
Since then...we've been pals..nice guy generally but can be a pain in the ass when he wants to...haha...Thanks for all the listening ears ya...and all the encouragements too...can be extremely sentimental too...avid lover of volleyball and a cracker of cold jokes..haha..
p/s: Happy boh? Writing about you leh...though it sounds kinda like a Friendster testimonial...=p =p =p
Let's see...1st got to know him during the Great Singapore Surf in March 2004...when he was one of the temp helpers assigned to my team under the then NTUC Computer Training Centre...Can't exactly remember the sequence of events but we had each other's contacts and somehow we exchanged emails too I think and after the event was over, we added each other on MSN.
Since then...we've been pals..nice guy generally but can be a pain in the ass when he wants to...haha...Thanks for all the listening ears ya...and all the encouragements too...can be extremely sentimental too...avid lover of volleyball and a cracker of cold jokes..haha..
p/s: Happy boh? Writing about you leh...though it sounds kinda like a Friendster testimonial...=p =p =p
Night Out!
First night out...was raining cats and dogs & weather was frosty...cuddled my jacket & stepped outside the flat..woohoo...
Met up with Peiqi & TH at Cafe Cartel @ tmall...had my fav pasta as usual...and just chatted there for 3 hours...Also mentioned that I was looking wan & had an unhealthy pallour...i.e. sickly..
PQ got the 4 leaf clover charm thingy..the same one featured in this month's CLEO mah...damn...I wanted to get it too...but one necklace costs $48 buckss??? for a plain coated pendant and chain...haha...if and when she really strikes 4D, then me & TH will go get it too...
Kinda nice to get out for while...and yuppers, it's still amazing to me how so many people can converge in a single shopping mall and walk around aimlessly...was looking at the turnover for the restaurant too...they must be earning big big bucks..same goes for the other food places too I guess..the moment a table is emptied, another arrives to fill its place...and the cycle continues till the restaurant closes.
============
Met Zhicong whilst at Cafe Cartel..quite funny at first cos I didn't recognise him...still undergoing training as a pilot...
Looked slightly different...maybe a little bit rounder..heh..
============
Was wrong, he didn't go to Fai's place afterall...!! haa....
============
Looking forward to Saturday..gonna get Jamie Cullum's new CD & Jay Chou's new album too...whoopee..more new songs to blast...
============
Received a get-well-card from Rohlin & YS this afternoon...haa...so sweet...said she had to Guangzhou on a last minute thingy for her job...so couldn't pop by...
============
Simply love Blinkymummy's post today titled "One Freaking Big Experiment in the Small Everyday Way" Spot on.
Met up with Peiqi & TH at Cafe Cartel @ tmall...had my fav pasta as usual...and just chatted there for 3 hours...Also mentioned that I was looking wan & had an unhealthy pallour...i.e. sickly..
PQ got the 4 leaf clover charm thingy..the same one featured in this month's CLEO mah...damn...I wanted to get it too...but one necklace costs $48 buckss??? for a plain coated pendant and chain...haha...if and when she really strikes 4D, then me & TH will go get it too...
Kinda nice to get out for while...and yuppers, it's still amazing to me how so many people can converge in a single shopping mall and walk around aimlessly...was looking at the turnover for the restaurant too...they must be earning big big bucks..same goes for the other food places too I guess..the moment a table is emptied, another arrives to fill its place...and the cycle continues till the restaurant closes.
============
Met Zhicong whilst at Cafe Cartel..quite funny at first cos I didn't recognise him...still undergoing training as a pilot...
Looked slightly different...maybe a little bit rounder..heh..
============
Was wrong, he didn't go to Fai's place afterall...!! haa....
============
Looking forward to Saturday..gonna get Jamie Cullum's new CD & Jay Chou's new album too...whoopee..more new songs to blast...
============
Received a get-well-card from Rohlin & YS this afternoon...haa...so sweet...said she had to Guangzhou on a last minute thingy for her job...so couldn't pop by...
============
Simply love Blinkymummy's post today titled "One Freaking Big Experiment in the Small Everyday Way" Spot on.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
dreams & the sub-conscious
It was yet another "can't get to sleep" night..tossed and turned for more than an hour...even sms-ed him at 2am..then when I finally got to sleep, I had to get up again an hour later...I remember seeing the clock and it read 3:40am...when I managed to get back to sleep the second time round..I had a bizarre dream. One which left me feeling none too good.
Dreamt that he left me. For another girl. And that other girl in the dream happened to be Peiqi. Liews...one of my best gal pals...I was heartbroken in the dream..Still remember sobbing violently when I found out about things...
It must have been sometime around 7 or 8am when I had that dream cos I fluttered my eyes open and noticed that it was light already. Am still feeling the aftermath effects of the dream...but well...to hell with it...
hmm....do dreams really reflect the sub-conscious?
Dreamt that he left me. For another girl. And that other girl in the dream happened to be Peiqi. Liews...one of my best gal pals...I was heartbroken in the dream..Still remember sobbing violently when I found out about things...
It must have been sometime around 7 or 8am when I had that dream cos I fluttered my eyes open and noticed that it was light already. Am still feeling the aftermath effects of the dream...but well...to hell with it...
hmm....do dreams really reflect the sub-conscious?
Monday, October 31, 2005
last day of the month
It's already the last day of October...I've been on leave, MC, hospitalisation leave for more than a month..lemme count..1 month and 9 days to be exact. November will be here in 50mins time.
hmm..November..my baby will start flying to Indonesia already...each time for a week at least... =(
And on the same note, December, my fav month of the year, will be here in 30 days time. Looking forward to things in Dec..the festive season and all..year end.. the air always smells different..
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Hmm...wonder when our Bangkok trip can take place..our deadline for the vouchers' gonna be end May..just nice for our 2nd yr anniversary..hmm...see how...else maybe we can go during my transition period? Am thinking of going back to KL too...not sure if he's keen though haa....but gian to makan the claypot chicken rice there!!!!
=======
Listening to Sun Yan Zi, Michael Buble & Jay Chou now...potent mix of Chinese & English, jazz and pop...enough to at least liven up my room abit...Yan Zi rawks..Buble melts my heart and Jay never fails to prick at my innermost feelings with his alteernative melodies, rhythms and lyrics...
=======
was reading blinkymummy's blog this evening...some of her past entries...and realised that she called off her wedding to a guy she was dating for 2 years...sometime early this year I think..What a coincidence, I was just reading an article in Female this afternoon too, about this 26 yr old girl and her fiance who decided to call off their wedding about 4 months before they were to go through the rites and all...
It's heartbreaking hearing these things happening...especially if you've got a pair of rings, your wedding studio shots, your tux & gown, your hotel bookings still on hand to contend with...and worse still if word has gone out to all relatives and friends...admire them for their strength in making the decision to call things off when so much effort has been put in...
But as the lady in the Female article put it.."Your future happiness is way more important and way bigger than others' nosiness in your life, or money."
I think blinky's a pretty cool chick...got a great mind of her own & she's a smartypants too...very billingual annd unafraid of airing her own opinions...
hmm..November..my baby will start flying to Indonesia already...each time for a week at least... =(
And on the same note, December, my fav month of the year, will be here in 30 days time. Looking forward to things in Dec..the festive season and all..year end.. the air always smells different..
=======
Hmm...wonder when our Bangkok trip can take place..our deadline for the vouchers' gonna be end May..just nice for our 2nd yr anniversary..hmm...see how...else maybe we can go during my transition period? Am thinking of going back to KL too...not sure if he's keen though haa....but gian to makan the claypot chicken rice there!!!!
=======
Listening to Sun Yan Zi, Michael Buble & Jay Chou now...potent mix of Chinese & English, jazz and pop...enough to at least liven up my room abit...Yan Zi rawks..Buble melts my heart and Jay never fails to prick at my innermost feelings with his alteernative melodies, rhythms and lyrics...
=======
was reading blinkymummy's blog this evening...some of her past entries...and realised that she called off her wedding to a guy she was dating for 2 years...sometime early this year I think..What a coincidence, I was just reading an article in Female this afternoon too, about this 26 yr old girl and her fiance who decided to call off their wedding about 4 months before they were to go through the rites and all...
It's heartbreaking hearing these things happening...especially if you've got a pair of rings, your wedding studio shots, your tux & gown, your hotel bookings still on hand to contend with...and worse still if word has gone out to all relatives and friends...admire them for their strength in making the decision to call things off when so much effort has been put in...
But as the lady in the Female article put it.."Your future happiness is way more important and way bigger than others' nosiness in your life, or money."
I think blinky's a pretty cool chick...got a great mind of her own & she's a smartypants too...very billingual annd unafraid of airing her own opinions...
yet again...
Great. Just quarelled with her again. Doesn't she understand the word NO??????? wtf. I said no to the piece of fish cos I was already done with my dinner. She insisted and dropped the piece of pomfret unceremoniusly on my empty plate and growled : "Finish it."
I mean seriously. What's the point of doing such a thing?? If I'm full, I'm full. If I'm done, I'm done. What's the point of forcing that bloody piece of fish down my throat????
I got up with my plate and walked towards the sink with the intention of stuffing that thing into my mouth midway through my route. Then she accused me of wanting to throw it away into the dustbin. Please lah, come on. Grow up can? At age 55, I think you can be capable of better thought processes.
God damn fucked up day. I can't help tearing. I find my own home stifling to the point of constriction.
==============
Ally gave me a buzz this morning to ask about how I'm doing...nice knowing you have people who care about you...
==============
Just received a call from ahboy...he just got off work...going for his dinner soon...his call brought me some joy...it's short-lived though cos I'm back to my grouchy self..
Am wondering if I should just hibernate in my room forever..The thought of having my own abode seems so juicy right now...piteous though cos I ain't have the financial means to do so...YET
I mean seriously. What's the point of doing such a thing?? If I'm full, I'm full. If I'm done, I'm done. What's the point of forcing that bloody piece of fish down my throat????
I got up with my plate and walked towards the sink with the intention of stuffing that thing into my mouth midway through my route. Then she accused me of wanting to throw it away into the dustbin. Please lah, come on. Grow up can? At age 55, I think you can be capable of better thought processes.
God damn fucked up day. I can't help tearing. I find my own home stifling to the point of constriction.
==============
Ally gave me a buzz this morning to ask about how I'm doing...nice knowing you have people who care about you...
==============
Just received a call from ahboy...he just got off work...going for his dinner soon...his call brought me some joy...it's short-lived though cos I'm back to my grouchy self..
Am wondering if I should just hibernate in my room forever..The thought of having my own abode seems so juicy right now...piteous though cos I ain't have the financial means to do so...YET
happy halloween
Just quarelled with mum about the the issue of me who's not supposed to go out because technically speaking, I am still on MC. Whatever. Fucked up.
God damn pissed off.
I give up.
It's really driving me nuts. It's already been a month that I'm under such close scrutiny. It's stifling. I can't breathe.
=========
Was watching My Date With a Vampire III last night. Ren2 Wang2 Fu2 Xi1 (supposedly the 1st man on Earth - Chinese fiction style) said something which I'm still pondering over...quite interesting
Love breeds worries
Love breeds fears
When you're in love
Sometimes you know not yourself.
God damn pissed off.
I give up.
It's really driving me nuts. It's already been a month that I'm under such close scrutiny. It's stifling. I can't breathe.
=========
Was watching My Date With a Vampire III last night. Ren2 Wang2 Fu2 Xi1 (supposedly the 1st man on Earth - Chinese fiction style) said something which I'm still pondering over...quite interesting
Love breeds worries
Love breeds fears
When you're in love
Sometimes you know not yourself.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
You're Still You
Josh Groban - You're Still You
Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine
Your face I've memorized
I idolize just you
I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
I've loved you for so long
And after all is said and done
You're still you
After all
You're still you
You walk past me
I can feel your pain
Time changes everything
One truth always stays the same
You're still you
After all
You're still you
I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
And I believe in you
Although you never asked me to
I will remember you
And what life put you through
And in this cruel and lonely world
I found one love
You're still you
After all
You're still you
Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine
Your face I've memorized
I idolize just you
I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
I've loved you for so long
And after all is said and done
You're still you
After all
You're still you
You walk past me
I can feel your pain
Time changes everything
One truth always stays the same
You're still you
After all
You're still you
I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
And I believe in you
Although you never asked me to
I will remember you
And what life put you through
And in this cruel and lonely world
I found one love
You're still you
After all
You're still you
mid-day rattlings..
Dasao might be right..the medication might be making me moody..extremely moody
Anyway, aiming to get out of the house by the next weekend. Think I'm in perfect condition to go out, just that I'm on house arrest.
spoke to them of the banking idea...don't think they seemed to like it...but were still relatively encouraging lah...asked me to try it out lor...and see how it goes...
=============
Marc was running around the house just now and delivered a toy personally to my hands...am abit touched. If you ask him "What's your name?" He can reply and tell you "Marc!". If you ask him "How old are you?" He can also reply and say "Two!"
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Just washed my hair again today. Feels good. Used shampoo on the left side...But damn, think I'm developing dandruff...especially along the parting line...ugghh...unsightly man...
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Last night, I was reading the blog I had last year...though that blog lasted only a meagre 2 months, it still brought back certain memories to me...whether happy, intense or sad thoughts...
Anyway, aiming to get out of the house by the next weekend. Think I'm in perfect condition to go out, just that I'm on house arrest.
spoke to them of the banking idea...don't think they seemed to like it...but were still relatively encouraging lah...asked me to try it out lor...and see how it goes...
=============
Marc was running around the house just now and delivered a toy personally to my hands...am abit touched. If you ask him "What's your name?" He can reply and tell you "Marc!". If you ask him "How old are you?" He can also reply and say "Two!"
=============
Just washed my hair again today. Feels good. Used shampoo on the left side...But damn, think I'm developing dandruff...especially along the parting line...ugghh...unsightly man...
=============
Last night, I was reading the blog I had last year...though that blog lasted only a meagre 2 months, it still brought back certain memories to me...whether happy, intense or sad thoughts...
Saturday, October 29, 2005
I miss...
...the late nights spent in hall
...the boliao gossip notes me, Eddie & Chiewz scribbled to each other during lectures
...the crazy times we had during hall activities
...the late night suppers we had when we had the mood for them
...the LAN network we had then & the MP3s and movies we shared with each other back then
...the prawn paste chicken in hall 5 canteen
...waking up to the sound of birds chirping in the dimly lit dawn morning
...hearing the sounds of machine guns in the night when the nearby army camps are having training
...sitting by the doorway & just chatting with Xingli or dreaming about what we wanna do
...washing clothes and hanging them out to dry with her too
...waking up and deciding to skip classes
...organising various hall activities
...the mee hoon kuay at canteen A
...the camaraderie we had with each other and staying just above, below and around each other
...the absolute freedom I had back then
...those rainy cold nights when I would just lie huddled under the covers listening to the pitter & patter of raindrops
...walking to lectures and tutorials in tanktops, cropped pants and flip flops
...the mini gatherings we had in each other's rooms
...having dinner together in canteen 1 and it's chicken chop and honey dew sago
...crapping, bitching, gossiping with Chiewz and laughing hysterically with her
...having FYP discussions in either my room or Chiewz's room
...cooking pasta in my room with my rice cooker
...having mini steamboat sessions in my room or sky's room
...rearing hamsters illegally in my room
...working out in my room
...the privacy of my single room
...climbing up 3 flights of stairs to my room
...cheering my hall on during inter-hall activities
...the buzz of studies and hall activities back then
...blasting music from my speakers when I was in a bad mood
...mugging for the exams with sky and hongbing at Canteen B till the wee hours of the morn
...mugging at the library too and sneaking in packets of french fries when the librarian wasn't looking
...getting to know exchange students from other countries
...that 3 years of my life in hall 1 (numero uno)
...the boliao gossip notes me, Eddie & Chiewz scribbled to each other during lectures
...the crazy times we had during hall activities
...the late night suppers we had when we had the mood for them
...the LAN network we had then & the MP3s and movies we shared with each other back then
...the prawn paste chicken in hall 5 canteen
...waking up to the sound of birds chirping in the dimly lit dawn morning
...hearing the sounds of machine guns in the night when the nearby army camps are having training
...sitting by the doorway & just chatting with Xingli or dreaming about what we wanna do
...washing clothes and hanging them out to dry with her too
...waking up and deciding to skip classes
...organising various hall activities
...the mee hoon kuay at canteen A
...the camaraderie we had with each other and staying just above, below and around each other
...the absolute freedom I had back then
...those rainy cold nights when I would just lie huddled under the covers listening to the pitter & patter of raindrops
...walking to lectures and tutorials in tanktops, cropped pants and flip flops
...the mini gatherings we had in each other's rooms
...having dinner together in canteen 1 and it's chicken chop and honey dew sago
...crapping, bitching, gossiping with Chiewz and laughing hysterically with her
...having FYP discussions in either my room or Chiewz's room
...cooking pasta in my room with my rice cooker
...having mini steamboat sessions in my room or sky's room
...rearing hamsters illegally in my room
...working out in my room
...the privacy of my single room
...climbing up 3 flights of stairs to my room
...cheering my hall on during inter-hall activities
...the buzz of studies and hall activities back then
...blasting music from my speakers when I was in a bad mood
...mugging for the exams with sky and hongbing at Canteen B till the wee hours of the morn
...mugging at the library too and sneaking in packets of french fries when the librarian wasn't looking
...getting to know exchange students from other countries
...that 3 years of my life in hall 1 (numero uno)
of viewpoints and other possibilities...
the more you think
the more you imagine
the more you paint pictures
the more you assume
the more you presume
the more you envisage
........
the more your vision gets clouded
the greater the delusion
the deeper you get submerged
the harder you fall
the easier you crash
===========
the older I get...the more disillusioned things become...life in SG seems to be a rat race with momentary junctures of happiness and equal momentary points of sadness and disappointments..
or maybe it's just the way I view things...yeah..think it's the way I see things...the "bottle is half-full or half-empty" theory...or the "some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue" theory...all these make sense...but I just find it abit difficult to see things in a more positive light..
...ah well...the melancholic pessimistic me...
aw man...listening to Jay Chou now...simply heaven...
===========
ahboy just left to play bball with the other guys...felt lethargic the whole day...maybe cos of the horrible night's sleep..glad he came...planted a smile on my face..missing him already...
and he bought clay for me...good..I can start on making some handicrafts or something...
===========
had a brief conversation with dasao just now...discussed the possibility of having some sidelines...hmm...if things sound positive and if they arouse my interest...perhaps i might join in as well...why not..take on a new challenge...and at least it's a break from the monotony I feel right now...and well...it might be another lucrative source of income for me..
well...bro and her will be coming over tomorrow...maybe we'll take it up further tomorrow...see how the ideas flow... :)
financial independence haaa...am striving to be someone who can take care of her basic needs with not much of a problem..Maslow's hierarchy of needs...one of my fav theories...
definitely one of base reasons why I'm considering banking...though just the thought of horrendous sky high sales targets easily sends shudders through me...
the more you imagine
the more you paint pictures
the more you assume
the more you presume
the more you envisage
........
the more your vision gets clouded
the greater the delusion
the deeper you get submerged
the harder you fall
the easier you crash
===========
the older I get...the more disillusioned things become...life in SG seems to be a rat race with momentary junctures of happiness and equal momentary points of sadness and disappointments..
or maybe it's just the way I view things...yeah..think it's the way I see things...the "bottle is half-full or half-empty" theory...or the "some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue" theory...all these make sense...but I just find it abit difficult to see things in a more positive light..
...ah well...the melancholic pessimistic me...
aw man...listening to Jay Chou now...simply heaven...
===========
ahboy just left to play bball with the other guys...felt lethargic the whole day...maybe cos of the horrible night's sleep..glad he came...planted a smile on my face..missing him already...
and he bought clay for me...good..I can start on making some handicrafts or something...
===========
had a brief conversation with dasao just now...discussed the possibility of having some sidelines...hmm...if things sound positive and if they arouse my interest...perhaps i might join in as well...why not..take on a new challenge...and at least it's a break from the monotony I feel right now...and well...it might be another lucrative source of income for me..
well...bro and her will be coming over tomorrow...maybe we'll take it up further tomorrow...see how the ideas flow... :)
financial independence haaa...am striving to be someone who can take care of her basic needs with not much of a problem..Maslow's hierarchy of needs...one of my fav theories...
definitely one of base reasons why I'm considering banking...though just the thought of horrendous sky high sales targets easily sends shudders through me...
what the??
fucking hell.. went to bed at around 1am last night...but couldn't get to sleep at all...and the most frustrating thing is that I can't toss and turn like last time cos I can't lie on my right side where the wound is..I can either be only on my stomach, my back or my left side...
So for more than 2 hours, I was awake...listening to the mild droning of my air-con and my mind was still busy thinking of weird things like...
1. cheetahs, cougars, panthers, pumas, lions...whatever you can name in the big cats family...I attribute this to the fact that I was watching National Geographic earlier in the night...
2. what is love? and what does it entail?
3. how I almost let slip in front of Jen that I was flipping through Recruit regularly...
4. the dumb email...and the possible repercussions it might have caused..
5. Creation's teriyaki chicken meatball pasta and their brownie...
I checked my clock incessantly..1am morphed into 2am and then to 3am...I think it was till 3-plus that I finally found my way to the gates of slumberland...tmd...slept till mid-day again..what an unhealthy lifestyle...argh..
============
I seriously miss bitching... whether it be the insane childish bitching during uni days with chiewz or the office bitching with the other girls...Damn...and somehow all I wanna do now is to hurl curses and cuss my heart out...
crude, crass and banal...guess that's just me...but the least is that I don't hide or pretend to be what I ain't..what you see is what you get...silliness, wittiness, sincerity et al...
So for more than 2 hours, I was awake...listening to the mild droning of my air-con and my mind was still busy thinking of weird things like...
1. cheetahs, cougars, panthers, pumas, lions...whatever you can name in the big cats family...I attribute this to the fact that I was watching National Geographic earlier in the night...
2. what is love? and what does it entail?
3. how I almost let slip in front of Jen that I was flipping through Recruit regularly...
4. the dumb email...and the possible repercussions it might have caused..
5. Creation's teriyaki chicken meatball pasta and their brownie...
I checked my clock incessantly..1am morphed into 2am and then to 3am...I think it was till 3-plus that I finally found my way to the gates of slumberland...tmd...slept till mid-day again..what an unhealthy lifestyle...argh..
============
I seriously miss bitching... whether it be the insane childish bitching during uni days with chiewz or the office bitching with the other girls...Damn...and somehow all I wanna do now is to hurl curses and cuss my heart out...
crude, crass and banal...guess that's just me...but the least is that I don't hide or pretend to be what I ain't..what you see is what you get...silliness, wittiness, sincerity et al...
of marriage and committments...
The naggy me has been muttering on and on about having time on my hands...yeah..the synapses of the brain works wonders at times...hell, I'm even thinking about things like marriage..and having my own abode with my loved one...
to put it simply..think I'm ready for that lifelong committment called marriage...shared my thoughts with Jason over MSN just now and he laughed at me..said I'm getting desperate to "tie" my man down...nabei...does it always amount to such a viewpoint if a girl says she's ready for marriage?? Does it always amount to "enslaving" the other party?
I dunno...just that I'm having those "I wanna spend the rest of my lilfe with you", "I wanna build a love nest with you" and "I wanna bear you children" kind of feelings...mushy, icky and god-damn dramatic...but yet oh-so-true..
Well whatever...not entirely sure what these thoughts translate to...and anyway..guess it ain't the right time now too??
Hmm....wondering....
to put it simply..think I'm ready for that lifelong committment called marriage...shared my thoughts with Jason over MSN just now and he laughed at me..said I'm getting desperate to "tie" my man down...nabei...does it always amount to such a viewpoint if a girl says she's ready for marriage?? Does it always amount to "enslaving" the other party?
I dunno...just that I'm having those "I wanna spend the rest of my lilfe with you", "I wanna build a love nest with you" and "I wanna bear you children" kind of feelings...mushy, icky and god-damn dramatic...but yet oh-so-true..
Well whatever...not entirely sure what these thoughts translate to...and anyway..guess it ain't the right time now too??
Hmm....wondering....
Friday, October 28, 2005
seedless rantings from a daft shell
two groups of peeps came by today...
jen, may, elaine and lawrence (the HR, not brother lawrence) came around 7pm...sat around and tokked cock...quite surprised that lawrence came...cos it's like wat...only the second time that I've seen him....they left around 8pm...elaine was so sweet...gave me a a sweet little pink crystal angel...those that you can hang on your handphone type...and a cute little card with those pop-up pics of dancing teddy bears and quaint gingerbread houses...
ahboy dropped by around 720pm..
then around 845pm...ling & gang came by....joyce, gail n adrian din come though..the pizza and KFC we ordered reached around 9pm...and our makan galore commenced...haa..amidst the watching of cable TV and tokking rot...
=============
maybe what MJ said is true...given too much time on their hands...girls like to think about unneccessary stuff...and worry about unneccessary details...
is that wat's happening to me? the ever imaginative one?
=============
at the dinner table just now..
Dad: "Look at her (me), it's like as if we're torturing her to eat."
yeah...well...the grumpy me at work again...what do you expect, being awakened from your nap to have such an early dinner which you don't feel like eating at all cos you're not even hungry at all...
=============
...pressing on when the future is uncertain?
...trudging on come what may?
...clinging on for survival?
...life is tough..life is complicated?
...which way to go when you reach a fork?
...which path to follow..head..heart?
...life is pre-ordained..life is sardonic?
am not even sure what the hell I'm ranting on and on about...
Feel as if I'm in a perpetual state of uncertainty and bewilderedness...
Do I have too much time on my hands??
jen, may, elaine and lawrence (the HR, not brother lawrence) came around 7pm...sat around and tokked cock...quite surprised that lawrence came...cos it's like wat...only the second time that I've seen him....they left around 8pm...elaine was so sweet...gave me a a sweet little pink crystal angel...those that you can hang on your handphone type...and a cute little card with those pop-up pics of dancing teddy bears and quaint gingerbread houses...
ahboy dropped by around 720pm..
then around 845pm...ling & gang came by....joyce, gail n adrian din come though..the pizza and KFC we ordered reached around 9pm...and our makan galore commenced...haa..amidst the watching of cable TV and tokking rot...
=============
maybe what MJ said is true...given too much time on their hands...girls like to think about unneccessary stuff...and worry about unneccessary details...
is that wat's happening to me? the ever imaginative one?
=============
at the dinner table just now..
Dad: "Look at her (me), it's like as if we're torturing her to eat."
yeah...well...the grumpy me at work again...what do you expect, being awakened from your nap to have such an early dinner which you don't feel like eating at all cos you're not even hungry at all...
=============
...pressing on when the future is uncertain?
...trudging on come what may?
...clinging on for survival?
...life is tough..life is complicated?
...which way to go when you reach a fork?
...which path to follow..head..heart?
...life is pre-ordained..life is sardonic?
am not even sure what the hell I'm ranting on and on about...
Feel as if I'm in a perpetual state of uncertainty and bewilderedness...
Do I have too much time on my hands??
post-lunch post
just a fuddy duddy entry about somethng I was hankering about last night..
Was fiddling about with HTML codings and such stuff...trying to do some edits to my blog interface...and wohoo!! managed to get it done successfully...I'm a major klutz at such tech wizardry...so for the restless me, it was an accomplishment!! =))
==============
time flies, it's already been more than 2 weeks since my skull was scissored open and my brain invaded upon. 17 days to be exact.
my hair's like a patch of dried grass sitting atop my head...the chemicals used to clean my hair really zapped away whatever meagre shine and lustre my hair once had....now macham bird's nest...plus...the chemicals caused the hair colour to oxidise further...aiyooo.....=(( and I'm shedding hair like nobody's business...if I run my fingers through my hair...at least 3 to 4 strands drop off....argh!!!
worse thing is that I can't use shampoo to wash my hair as yet...let alone condition it...bleah...
the good thing is that the wound is healing nicely...at least that's wat mum says...I cun see...no matter how I twist my head in front of the mirror, I can't get a good look at it...but if she says it's healing well...then good for me...
==============
Ling & gang are coming over tonight..don't think they've ever seen me so lok cock before..haa...hope they dun get a shock...looking forward to some fun and laughter tonight...at least it'll be a different form of entertainment for me....and their antics will definitely bring smiles to my forlorn face....haa..
=============
on one of the nights in hospital, I dreamt that I was a UOB Personal Banker...maybe like wat brother says is true...It's a sign...haa...a sign to go in that direction....
The more I think about it or ponder over it...the more it seems like an okay plan to go ahead with...and ahboy has said he'll support me in my decision....
Was fiddling about with HTML codings and such stuff...trying to do some edits to my blog interface...and wohoo!! managed to get it done successfully...I'm a major klutz at such tech wizardry...so for the restless me, it was an accomplishment!! =))
==============
time flies, it's already been more than 2 weeks since my skull was scissored open and my brain invaded upon. 17 days to be exact.
my hair's like a patch of dried grass sitting atop my head...the chemicals used to clean my hair really zapped away whatever meagre shine and lustre my hair once had....now macham bird's nest...plus...the chemicals caused the hair colour to oxidise further...aiyooo.....=(( and I'm shedding hair like nobody's business...if I run my fingers through my hair...at least 3 to 4 strands drop off....argh!!!
worse thing is that I can't use shampoo to wash my hair as yet...let alone condition it...bleah...
the good thing is that the wound is healing nicely...at least that's wat mum says...I cun see...no matter how I twist my head in front of the mirror, I can't get a good look at it...but if she says it's healing well...then good for me...
==============
Ling & gang are coming over tonight..don't think they've ever seen me so lok cock before..haa...hope they dun get a shock...looking forward to some fun and laughter tonight...at least it'll be a different form of entertainment for me....and their antics will definitely bring smiles to my forlorn face....haa..
=============
on one of the nights in hospital, I dreamt that I was a UOB Personal Banker...maybe like wat brother says is true...It's a sign...haa...a sign to go in that direction....
The more I think about it or ponder over it...the more it seems like an okay plan to go ahead with...and ahboy has said he'll support me in my decision....
in the mood for love..
Was watching Meteor Garden late last night when a phrase was mentioned by one of the members of F4...
"It's weird when you lose yourself in the midst of loving someone else."
Yeah..losing yourself when you hit that irrational, emotional high..and start doing things or behaving in ways you never thought you'd indulge in or behave in...
"It's weird when you lose yourself in the midst of loving someone else."
Yeah..losing yourself when you hit that irrational, emotional high..and start doing things or behaving in ways you never thought you'd indulge in or behave in...
Thursday, October 27, 2005
of naggings and complaints..yet again..
It's irritating..it's been a week since I've gotten out of hospital..but I think my body clock's still attuned to the days spent in hospital..I get up 2 to 3 times in one fucking night. It's wreaking havoc on my sleeping pattern..so much so that almost everyday, I get up as late as midday..
Maybe another reason's that my pillow's gotten too soft..Just changed a new pillow this morning..hope it alleviates the problem..
============
Wonder if you'll reply my new email...hmm...
Don't know what you're thinking..Don't know what your take on the future is..
Hope you'll share your thoughts with me..Loving you always..
============
It's amazing...We snap at each other and more oft than not, argue with each other, yet we remain good friends...aye red biscuit?
============
Sometimes I wonder...how does a bf, a gf and an ex-gf get along so well together...looking at dan, yl & chiewz...I don't get it at times...them 3 can just sit and chat/joke/have fun all together...hmm....perhaps I'm not a gracious one..that's why I can't comprehend?...
=========
am popping pills like candy everyday..7 pills after my first meal of the day...another 6-7 pills after dinner...and am getting abit tired of the food I'm taking in everyday..porridge, rice with bland dishes...tough-going for a big foodie like me....
=========
Things to look forward to after I'm well and dandy...
1. Conversational Malay
2. Blading
3. Sentosa
4. Pubbing
5. Settle my job switch thingy?
6. Swimming!
7. New haircut?
Maybe another reason's that my pillow's gotten too soft..Just changed a new pillow this morning..hope it alleviates the problem..
============
Wonder if you'll reply my new email...hmm...
Don't know what you're thinking..Don't know what your take on the future is..
Hope you'll share your thoughts with me..Loving you always..
============
It's amazing...We snap at each other and more oft than not, argue with each other, yet we remain good friends...aye red biscuit?
============
Sometimes I wonder...how does a bf, a gf and an ex-gf get along so well together...looking at dan, yl & chiewz...I don't get it at times...them 3 can just sit and chat/joke/have fun all together...hmm....perhaps I'm not a gracious one..that's why I can't comprehend?...
=========
am popping pills like candy everyday..7 pills after my first meal of the day...another 6-7 pills after dinner...and am getting abit tired of the food I'm taking in everyday..porridge, rice with bland dishes...tough-going for a big foodie like me....
=========
Things to look forward to after I'm well and dandy...
1. Conversational Malay
2. Blading
3. Sentosa
4. Pubbing
5. Settle my job switch thingy?
6. Swimming!
7. New haircut?
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Nobody's Home
Nobody's Home - Avril Lavigne
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make the same mistakes again
What's wrong, what's wrong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
It's where she lies broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside
Open your eyes and look outside, find a reason why
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs
She wants to go home, but nobody's home
It's where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make the same mistakes again
What's wrong, what's wrong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
It's where she lies broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside
Open your eyes and look outside, find a reason why
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs
She wants to go home, but nobody's home
It's where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside
minor thoughts before I head for a quick nap!
ahboy came by this afternoon..chau geng halfway from his training again..and came by for a nap..
==========
hmm....am seriously considering if I should embark on banking in the next phase of my career...Just a few inhibitions which I'm concerned with.
1. It's a job dealing with lotsa numbers. Am I up to it?
2. It's essentially a sales job with targets every month and your boss'll probably breathe down your neck every week for figures and mroe figures. Am I up to this kind of working style?
3. Sure, banking pays more and that's without a doubt one of the things which is attracting me...I don't think my character will change much after this but am just wondering
4. How will this affect my career path in the future? If I wanna go back to marketing after a stint in banking, I wonder how drastically will it affect me?
Zenne & Ahboy both told me to try for advertising. Hmm...yet another option..And I might try to get Sky to pull me into retail..and brother did hint to me that if I wanted to, he could offer me a job helping him out...aiyo...so many choices...but I don't know what I want!!
==========
kinda looking forward to Friday...for the impromptu makan gathering..haa...told Ling this "Since I cun go out, might as well drag you guys down to my place..hehehe..."
==========
buay dong..am heading for a nap before Amazing Race starts!! zzzzzzzzzzzzz........
==========
hmm....am seriously considering if I should embark on banking in the next phase of my career...Just a few inhibitions which I'm concerned with.
1. It's a job dealing with lotsa numbers. Am I up to it?
2. It's essentially a sales job with targets every month and your boss'll probably breathe down your neck every week for figures and mroe figures. Am I up to this kind of working style?
3. Sure, banking pays more and that's without a doubt one of the things which is attracting me...I don't think my character will change much after this but am just wondering
4. How will this affect my career path in the future? If I wanna go back to marketing after a stint in banking, I wonder how drastically will it affect me?
Zenne & Ahboy both told me to try for advertising. Hmm...yet another option..And I might try to get Sky to pull me into retail..and brother did hint to me that if I wanted to, he could offer me a job helping him out...aiyo...so many choices...but I don't know what I want!!
==========
kinda looking forward to Friday...for the impromptu makan gathering..haa...told Ling this "Since I cun go out, might as well drag you guys down to my place..hehehe..."
==========
buay dong..am heading for a nap before Amazing Race starts!! zzzzzzzzzzzzz........
Monday, October 24, 2005
my sweetie..
my poor baby's sick..must be the running around for that whole week or so...=( feeling abit guilty..the same thing happened in April too...he also fell sick after my week's stay in hospital..
hope he gets well soon enough..
hope he gets well soon enough..
sighzz
At the makan table today during lunch.
Mum:"Why are you looking so grumpy? Everyday also like that. The whole day your face is so moody. What the hell's wrong??"
Dad:" Ya lor ya lor."
Me: silence. Nothing lah.
Mum:" The worst is over..be happy lah! Then...everyday face so black. Do you know we look at you like that we also don't feel good?? Be happy lah! It's important for recuperation"
Me: more morose silence..
I apologise for being such a grumpy ass.. I don't know why I am feeling this way. Call it restlessness? I don't know. But it kinda feels like as if my brows are in a perpetual state of frowning..hope it doesn't add furrows to my forehead...hmm...
==========
HB sms-ed me this morning. Asked me to wish him good luck..cos he's going NIE for interview...
=============
Even if a person does not love you the way you want to be loved, it does not mean that he/she is not loving you with all they can.
=============
damn, am still staring at that bottle of vodka in my cupboard.....
Mum:"Why are you looking so grumpy? Everyday also like that. The whole day your face is so moody. What the hell's wrong??"
Dad:" Ya lor ya lor."
Me: silence. Nothing lah.
Mum:" The worst is over..be happy lah! Then...everyday face so black. Do you know we look at you like that we also don't feel good?? Be happy lah! It's important for recuperation"
Me: more morose silence..
I apologise for being such a grumpy ass.. I don't know why I am feeling this way. Call it restlessness? I don't know. But it kinda feels like as if my brows are in a perpetual state of frowning..hope it doesn't add furrows to my forehead...hmm...
==========
HB sms-ed me this morning. Asked me to wish him good luck..cos he's going NIE for interview...
=============
Even if a person does not love you the way you want to be loved, it does not mean that he/she is not loving you with all they can.
=============
damn, am still staring at that bottle of vodka in my cupboard.....
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Beautiful lyrics
Untitled - Simple Plan
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this lifeI just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading awa
yI'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this lifeI just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading awa
yI'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Busy day...
Started re-watching "Meteor Garden" today...guess I'm still a teenybopper at heart..going ga-ga over F4..especially Jerry Yen and Zai-Zai..romantic phrasses gushing from their mouths simply melt my heart..
Been a busy day today..didn't get much rest..Peiqi, Hid, TaiHow, Eugene came over around 1pm..hsortly after, Ee-ma & Auntie Violet popped by..CMI, went for a nap around 4pm..was woken around 5pm..when Uncle Anthony, Auntie Theresa & Adelene came..gosh..cun believe mum n dad actually allowed them into my room when I was still sleeping..damn unglam..
Just when they were about to leave, Jen & Beng came..was pretty surprised Beng came...so sweet of her...=) And they brought a huge bouquet of lilies haa..wrapped in purple paper..Beng was really chatty haa...shared with us about her projects with The Sail & The Azure..great to hear she's doing so good with her commercial ad projects..Wa sharing stories about how God has helped her out alot too...They left at 7pm and we finally managed to have dinner. Ahboy came around 730...with 3 pkts of Cheng Tng in tow..the one from Bedok Corner Food Centre...haa..
Was slurping the Cheng Tng whilst watching meteor garden..got tired...and napped abit..hehe..got abit of back massage from him too...woohoo..really felt great..hmm..*notti thoughts*..=p Poor boy..think he's tired out too..hope he doesn't fall sick...
Was thinking of having a mini gathering at my place next Friday..with Ling & gang around..not sure if I should bring it up though...maybe just order some pizza & KFC...and then just hang around and tok cock...hmm..but have this feeling ahboy won't be keen on this notion..
Been a busy day today..didn't get much rest..Peiqi, Hid, TaiHow, Eugene came over around 1pm..hsortly after, Ee-ma & Auntie Violet popped by..CMI, went for a nap around 4pm..was woken around 5pm..when Uncle Anthony, Auntie Theresa & Adelene came..gosh..cun believe mum n dad actually allowed them into my room when I was still sleeping..damn unglam..
Just when they were about to leave, Jen & Beng came..was pretty surprised Beng came...so sweet of her...=) And they brought a huge bouquet of lilies haa..wrapped in purple paper..Beng was really chatty haa...shared with us about her projects with The Sail & The Azure..great to hear she's doing so good with her commercial ad projects..Wa sharing stories about how God has helped her out alot too...They left at 7pm and we finally managed to have dinner. Ahboy came around 730...with 3 pkts of Cheng Tng in tow..the one from Bedok Corner Food Centre...haa..
Was slurping the Cheng Tng whilst watching meteor garden..got tired...and napped abit..hehe..got abit of back massage from him too...woohoo..really felt great..hmm..*notti thoughts*..=p Poor boy..think he's tired out too..hope he doesn't fall sick...
Was thinking of having a mini gathering at my place next Friday..with Ling & gang around..not sure if I should bring it up though...maybe just order some pizza & KFC...and then just hang around and tok cock...hmm..but have this feeling ahboy won't be keen on this notion..
Saturday, October 22, 2005
birthday wishes
Bro messaged me on the night of my admission day (10th oct) into hospital..asked me what I wanted for my birthday...
Him: Hey sis, all the best for tomorrow ok. What do you want for your birthday?
Me: Thanks bro. Nvm lah, dun need anything. I just wanna roam the world, and leave my mark in every place I go..
Him: We will walk together and roam the world sis. We can always achieve what our mind can conceive. Cheerios.
I was about to sleep, was lying on the bed, huddled under the blankets..Just reading that last sms brought tears to my eyes...
================
wtf. am feeling freaking restless..
Wanna go swim. Cannot.
Wanna drink. Cannot.
Wanna go Sentosa. Cannot.
Wanna eat seafood. Cannot.
A.R.G.H.
headache's back again..throb. throb.throb.
Don't feel like taking painkillers cos am afraid of getting to used to them.
Super gian for a lychee martini...
Him: Hey sis, all the best for tomorrow ok. What do you want for your birthday?
Me: Thanks bro. Nvm lah, dun need anything. I just wanna roam the world, and leave my mark in every place I go..
Him: We will walk together and roam the world sis. We can always achieve what our mind can conceive. Cheerios.
I was about to sleep, was lying on the bed, huddled under the blankets..Just reading that last sms brought tears to my eyes...
================
wtf. am feeling freaking restless..
Wanna go swim. Cannot.
Wanna drink. Cannot.
Wanna go Sentosa. Cannot.
Wanna eat seafood. Cannot.
A.R.G.H.
headache's back again..throb. throb.throb.
Don't feel like taking painkillers cos am afraid of getting to used to them.
Super gian for a lychee martini...
Letter to the Bosses
Dear Bosses,
How are things going with the business? How’s the strategic growth of the business? Are things going according to plans? Are we moving along in the correct route/path??
To tell you frankly, I am lost and directionless. You urge us to pledge our strength and allegiance to you. Most of us have. We run together with you. But what of that? We need a more specific direction to run towards...not just a generic compass point far away in the horizon. We have been hearing of this generic spot far away in the distance. We have been plugged with such cursory information since at least a year back...To the extent that I'm starting to have doubts about whether or not you guys are sure yourselves of where you wanna go.
We are trying our best to be with you guys but we cannot just only be running on and on…We get tired, we slow down, we pant and heave our chests and so do you. You urge and encourage us, you push and prod. We try on our end & also put in our efforts…
But I have to admit. I am weak. I am getting distracted. I am flailing…I am tempted by other pastures…whether greener or not I do not know….Also, I do not know what I want exactly as yet..But I can feel my morale ebbing by the minute as I bob my head up and down, taking in frantic gasps of precious air...Throw me a lifeline quick, the currents are pulling me farther and farther out…I need something to anchor me down and steady me…
How are things going with the business? How’s the strategic growth of the business? Are things going according to plans? Are we moving along in the correct route/path??
To tell you frankly, I am lost and directionless. You urge us to pledge our strength and allegiance to you. Most of us have. We run together with you. But what of that? We need a more specific direction to run towards...not just a generic compass point far away in the horizon. We have been hearing of this generic spot far away in the distance. We have been plugged with such cursory information since at least a year back...To the extent that I'm starting to have doubts about whether or not you guys are sure yourselves of where you wanna go.
We are trying our best to be with you guys but we cannot just only be running on and on…We get tired, we slow down, we pant and heave our chests and so do you. You urge and encourage us, you push and prod. We try on our end & also put in our efforts…
But I have to admit. I am weak. I am getting distracted. I am flailing…I am tempted by other pastures…whether greener or not I do not know….Also, I do not know what I want exactly as yet..But I can feel my morale ebbing by the minute as I bob my head up and down, taking in frantic gasps of precious air...Throw me a lifeline quick, the currents are pulling me farther and farther out…I need something to anchor me down and steady me…
Yours Sincerely,
Michelle
Marketing Dept
============
Might be looking at 1st quarter of next year to move on...Maybe I can try sending cold letters to BluInc, SPH or even the banks and telcos...
Friday night
Dan, Chiewz, Yanling came around 845pm on Friday night...was quite hungry by the time they arrived...ANd then hey ho!! Patirick also came! Yup, my dear Patrick..it's been a long time since I last asw him..happened that he chanced upon Chiewz when she was at the airport...and he just departed from his flight too...she updated him and they all decided to troop down to my place...
Bah Chor Mee, chicken wings..heavens..=) hehe, indulgence..not suposed to eat chicken wings though...but bo chup...=p
Was pretty fun catching up and talking rot..haha jokes and laughter...snacks and more laughter..
=========
missing him now..
=========
Feeling abit tired. Headache's acting up again..Think I'll hit the sack soon..My bed has become my best pal...
Bah Chor Mee, chicken wings..heavens..=) hehe, indulgence..not suposed to eat chicken wings though...but bo chup...=p
Was pretty fun catching up and talking rot..haha jokes and laughter...snacks and more laughter..
=========
missing him now..
=========
Feeling abit tired. Headache's acting up again..Think I'll hit the sack soon..My bed has become my best pal...
Friday, October 21, 2005
broken thoughts...
Ahboy was a notti boy today...skipped a portion of his training ( at Tampines Junction) and popped over ofr a visit-cum-a-eat-snake- session..hhaha...had lunch here too....came at around 1115am...left at 115pm....terrible..tsk tsk...haha
========
Wound is getting damn itchy......irritating....itchy but can't scratch...piangz...the feeling is soo.....argh....don't even know how to describe...
========
Ipoh just popped by....sitting outside int he hall with mama...chatting away...I'm hiding in the room blogging...need a break from all the visitors at times...sometimes when I hear so many people talkig to much....I'll get a headache...think maybe it's also cos I didn't get good quality rest last night...Hope I'll do better tomorrow...
I'm expecting the weekend to bring in more visitors...Jen mentioned she might come, no sur eif she's bringing any of our colleagues though..Rohlin, Kym, Yongwei, Gary. Sherwin, Ally, Peiqi too...hmm....aiyoh...so many people to see the unglam side of me..haha....bespectacled...hair in a bun like a bird's nest..eyes still slightly swollen and bloodshot...in Tshirt and shorts...haa...
========
Wound is getting damn itchy......irritating....itchy but can't scratch...piangz...the feeling is soo.....argh....don't even know how to describe...
========
Ipoh just popped by....sitting outside int he hall with mama...chatting away...I'm hiding in the room blogging...need a break from all the visitors at times...sometimes when I hear so many people talkig to much....I'll get a headache...think maybe it's also cos I didn't get good quality rest last night...Hope I'll do better tomorrow...
I'm expecting the weekend to bring in more visitors...Jen mentioned she might come, no sur eif she's bringing any of our colleagues though..Rohlin, Kym, Yongwei, Gary. Sherwin, Ally, Peiqi too...hmm....aiyoh...so many people to see the unglam side of me..haha....bespectacled...hair in a bun like a bird's nest..eyes still slightly swollen and bloodshot...in Tshirt and shorts...haa...
Thursday's events...
Yesterday afternoon was a farce...mum was cleaning my wounds when she noticed that eh?? how come there are still 2 or 3 more staplers in my scalp wounds? We panicked and called the hospital immediately..we were promptly told to go down immediately and get them taken out..
In the end, we found out that they actually forot about 10 of those staplers and had left them in my scalp for the past 3 days!! tsk tsk....mum n dad were quite apalled that such a thing could happen...started nagging at the nurses and Doc Fong...heng they didn't create a big scene..else I wouldn't have known wherer to hide my face...
===============
The Duckie gals came over in the evening around 845pm...Vincent came along too..Selin didn't manage to make it...super busy girl...haha...we're still the same squeaky, crazy bunch of girls when we're all together...ame thing, gossipping and luffig like crazy last night...sharing gross stories with them about taking blood samples and getting injextions...haha..was sharing with them my supernatural story too...and showing them my wounds...
I had a craving for french frie and fish mcdippers...hehe, sms-ed Tricia to help me get...woohoo...had a nice time munching on the fries..haaa...long time no eat...really perked me up man! =p but notti lah..haha.....not suppposed to eat actually cos i'm having a sore throat..
brought them for a walk around the house too...showed them my room..showed them some pics on my pc...blah blah...all the girlish stuff..
They left around 10-plus..almost 11pm...
===============
p/s: yesterday was Kym's birthday...
===============
Was MSNing with Chiewz n Dan till quite late last night..haha....had quite an interesting conversation with Chiewz...tokking about sexual stuff....stories...experiences...anecdotes...things we heard from friends...blah blah blah...tokking about brazilian waxing ....yada yada....
Same thing again...I wanna try waxing...but damn scared of the pain leh....somemore she said she bled...liews....that really made me reconsider..hmmm...
===============
Hee...Looking forward to Chiewz and Dan's visit tonight...they promised to buy Blk 85 BCM for me for my dinner....WOOOOOO!!!! just thinking about it makes me salivate like crazy...=)))))
Am thinking should I get them to buy my fav porridge too?> Then at least I can keep for tmr's breakfast or something....=))
===============
Realised I'm really getting flabby...tummy area and thighs and upper arms....sighz...what to do?? help help!
In the end, we found out that they actually forot about 10 of those staplers and had left them in my scalp for the past 3 days!! tsk tsk....mum n dad were quite apalled that such a thing could happen...started nagging at the nurses and Doc Fong...heng they didn't create a big scene..else I wouldn't have known wherer to hide my face...
===============
The Duckie gals came over in the evening around 845pm...Vincent came along too..Selin didn't manage to make it...super busy girl...haha...we're still the same squeaky, crazy bunch of girls when we're all together...ame thing, gossipping and luffig like crazy last night...sharing gross stories with them about taking blood samples and getting injextions...haha..was sharing with them my supernatural story too...and showing them my wounds...
I had a craving for french frie and fish mcdippers...hehe, sms-ed Tricia to help me get...woohoo...had a nice time munching on the fries..haaa...long time no eat...really perked me up man! =p but notti lah..haha.....not suppposed to eat actually cos i'm having a sore throat..
brought them for a walk around the house too...showed them my room..showed them some pics on my pc...blah blah...all the girlish stuff..
They left around 10-plus..almost 11pm...
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p/s: yesterday was Kym's birthday...
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Was MSNing with Chiewz n Dan till quite late last night..haha....had quite an interesting conversation with Chiewz...tokking about sexual stuff....stories...experiences...anecdotes...things we heard from friends...blah blah blah...tokking about brazilian waxing ....yada yada....
Same thing again...I wanna try waxing...but damn scared of the pain leh....somemore she said she bled...liews....that really made me reconsider..hmmm...
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Hee...Looking forward to Chiewz and Dan's visit tonight...they promised to buy Blk 85 BCM for me for my dinner....WOOOOOO!!!! just thinking about it makes me salivate like crazy...=)))))
Am thinking should I get them to buy my fav porridge too?> Then at least I can keep for tmr's breakfast or something....=))
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Realised I'm really getting flabby...tummy area and thighs and upper arms....sighz...what to do?? help help!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
anecdotal instances...
some anecdotes from the past week or so...
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saturday when HB, Mao n Seng were around...cun remember what exactly we were talking about when i pointe my middle finger at him in jest...hahha...and they subsequently made a comment...that they are confident that I am well on the road to recovery...cos I can still curse n swear n point middle finger..haha.....
and you know what? ahboy sgrees wholeheartedly....haha...he said the exact same thing to my brother adrian, kel & ling...
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some patients asked me :"eh, u kena accident ah??" ...."choi choi choi!!!" i would tell them...i told mum..."damn it..means my face really looks like kena bang wall for people to ask me such a question..."
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There was a time after I just woke from the op...the anesthetist asked me a question: "Michelle! What's your name?" I remember thinking to myself...."duh...*rolls eyes*...you just called me by my name and now u're asking me what my name is?????"
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When one of the nurses were shaving me down there...she suddenly gave a shriek and screamed out to the other nurses: "Aiyoh! Jialat! I cut her!" yeah...she gave me a small cut man....should have just grabbed her by the shoulders and shouted "OUCH!!!!"...hahaha....
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saturday when HB, Mao n Seng were around...cun remember what exactly we were talking about when i pointe my middle finger at him in jest...hahha...and they subsequently made a comment...that they are confident that I am well on the road to recovery...cos I can still curse n swear n point middle finger..haha.....
and you know what? ahboy sgrees wholeheartedly....haha...he said the exact same thing to my brother adrian, kel & ling...
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some patients asked me :"eh, u kena accident ah??" ...."choi choi choi!!!" i would tell them...i told mum..."damn it..means my face really looks like kena bang wall for people to ask me such a question..."
===========
There was a time after I just woke from the op...the anesthetist asked me a question: "Michelle! What's your name?" I remember thinking to myself...."duh...*rolls eyes*...you just called me by my name and now u're asking me what my name is?????"
===========
When one of the nurses were shaving me down there...she suddenly gave a shriek and screamed out to the other nurses: "Aiyoh! Jialat! I cut her!" yeah...she gave me a small cut man....should have just grabbed her by the shoulders and shouted "OUCH!!!!"...hahaha....
visitors
Steady streams of well-wishers and concerned friends and relativves thronged my bedside when word got out that I was out of ICU already and back in a normal ward. And they brougt with them cards, toys, flowers and tonics...haha...Form what I can recall...They included people like:
Uni:
1. Debra
2. Daniel
3. Yanling
4. Mao Mao
5. Ah Seng
6. Hong Bing
7. Chiewz
8. Kym
9. Sing Lee
10. Nancy
11. Eric
12. William
13. Eddie
Misc:
10. Auntie Mimi
11. Uncle Albert
12. Auntie Irene
13. Uncle Edward
14. Auntie Lucy
Relatives:
Uni:
15.Uncle Tom
16. Auntie Pat
17. Uncle David
18. Auntie Angie
19. Suli
20. Celine
21. Ee-ma
22. Auntie Violet
23. uncle William
24. Ah-Dioh
25. Ah Gor
26. Paul
Colleagues:
27. Winnie
28. Zenne
29. Siva
30. Ah San
31. Ah Kok
32. Peter Pan
33. Chloe
34. Mun Kitt
35. Serene
36. Lawrence new colleague
37. Brother Lawrence
38. Elaine
Sec Sch:
39. Ally
40. Peiqi
41. Tai How
42. MingJie
43. Evelyn
44. Eugene
45. YanHui
Others:
46. Ling
47. Kel
48. Julie
And of course...dage, dasao, mum, dad, ahboy.....
thank you mum, dad, ahboy...for taking such great care of me...must have been really tiring on them....
Uni:
1. Debra
2. Daniel
3. Yanling
4. Mao Mao
5. Ah Seng
6. Hong Bing
7. Chiewz
8. Kym
9. Sing Lee
10. Nancy
11. Eric
12. William
13. Eddie
Misc:
10. Auntie Mimi
11. Uncle Albert
12. Auntie Irene
13. Uncle Edward
14. Auntie Lucy
Relatives:
Uni:
15.Uncle Tom
16. Auntie Pat
17. Uncle David
18. Auntie Angie
19. Suli
20. Celine
21. Ee-ma
22. Auntie Violet
23. uncle William
24. Ah-Dioh
25. Ah Gor
26. Paul
Colleagues:
27. Winnie
28. Zenne
29. Siva
30. Ah San
31. Ah Kok
32. Peter Pan
33. Chloe
34. Mun Kitt
35. Serene
36. Lawrence new colleague
37. Brother Lawrence
38. Elaine
Sec Sch:
39. Ally
40. Peiqi
41. Tai How
42. MingJie
43. Evelyn
44. Eugene
45. YanHui
Others:
46. Ling
47. Kel
48. Julie
And of course...dage, dasao, mum, dad, ahboy.....
thank you mum, dad, ahboy...for taking such great care of me...must have been really tiring on them....
Ward 74 Room 10 Bed 2
Was quite relieved when I saw the room (4-bedder with air-con) to which I was transferred to from the ICU. I was given the bed just next to the window...as least it was not next to the washroom...
Plonked myself on the bed and started snoozing away...then dinner came..makaned...mum n dad left...ee-ma,auntie violet, ahboy came to visit....then left...and after that I was alone..so..next best thing to do is to....SLEEP. Sleep interruption is a thing to get used to whilst being warded.. nurses doing their rounds..the fella next doorcoughing/sneezing/wanting to pee or poo..the nurses themselves chatting...blah blah blah...
Slept badly on Fri night..partly cos I think I hahd a super natural encounter....or at least I think it was....from my vantage point...I kept seeing this lady dressed in the hospital patient gown...pink colour...she was standing at the sink...diagonally across the room from where I was...I kept looking at my handphone...1am morphed into...2am which morphed into....4am...and she was still there...still remember she was bespectacled...grey hair curly till shoulders...she was leaning against the wall...and peeped over the wall to look at the people in the room...It was werid...when nurses and doctors came in to do their rounds on other patients...nobody gave her a second look...which I found to be extremely weird...
It was dawn when a nurse came in to check on my blood pressure...I asked her in a hushed tone..."How come that lady has been standing there for so long already??? Doesn't she need to sleep??" And the nurse went:" Who? Where?? There's no one.." Freaked me out man...damn..shouldn't have asked her anything..haaa....anyway...huddled deeper into the covers after that, muttered soem prayers and tried to get back to sleep....thank god for drowsy medicine...haha...managed to sleep...Didn't encounter this weird thingy on subsequent nights......heng ah....
Plonked myself on the bed and started snoozing away...then dinner came..makaned...mum n dad left...ee-ma,auntie violet, ahboy came to visit....then left...and after that I was alone..so..next best thing to do is to....SLEEP. Sleep interruption is a thing to get used to whilst being warded.. nurses doing their rounds..the fella next doorcoughing/sneezing/wanting to pee or poo..the nurses themselves chatting...blah blah blah...
Slept badly on Fri night..partly cos I think I hahd a super natural encounter....or at least I think it was....from my vantage point...I kept seeing this lady dressed in the hospital patient gown...pink colour...she was standing at the sink...diagonally across the room from where I was...I kept looking at my handphone...1am morphed into...2am which morphed into....4am...and she was still there...still remember she was bespectacled...grey hair curly till shoulders...she was leaning against the wall...and peeped over the wall to look at the people in the room...It was werid...when nurses and doctors came in to do their rounds on other patients...nobody gave her a second look...which I found to be extremely weird...
It was dawn when a nurse came in to check on my blood pressure...I asked her in a hushed tone..."How come that lady has been standing there for so long already??? Doesn't she need to sleep??" And the nurse went:" Who? Where?? There's no one.." Freaked me out man...damn..shouldn't have asked her anything..haaa....anyway...huddled deeper into the covers after that, muttered soem prayers and tried to get back to sleep....thank god for drowsy medicine...haha...managed to sleep...Didn't encounter this weird thingy on subsequent nights......heng ah....
12, 13, 14 Oct
Was in ICU till Friday evening where I was transferred to a normal ward.
My memories of those days in ICU are abit sketchy...probably because I was drifting in and out of consiousness, in and out of sleep...popping painkillers, feeling nauseous & there were quite a number of people going in and out of my room...
Nurses and my parents were ever so often checking in on me..I remember Auntie Angie, Adrian, Ahboy & Eddie coming to visit me..and I remember someone telling me that my face looked so puffy...On and off one of my assigned doctors would pop in and tell me I'm recovering fast...On and off, I would be requesting for more pain killers for my headaches...
One thing still vivid in my memory..haa...There was a point in time where they were sponging me and trying to clean me up...and I was stripped bare for the world to see...and then!! they took out a razor...and started shaving my pubic area...gosh.........would have rolled my eyes if they weren't so swollen in their sockets...no wonder after that felt so cold..no more fuzz to keep me warm...was naked as a baby's bottom down there...
Wednesday evening was my first meal since sunday night 12am (or more rightly Monday morning)...porridge with stir fried cabbage and some funny chicken and egg thingy...a nurse was trying to feed me...i couldn't feed myself cos 1. I was hooked up to various tubes which was uite a mess of tangles...and 2. I was wearing specs so couldn't really see what the hell I was eating...
After not earing for so many days...and then suddenly food was introduced back into the tummy...I got quite distended I think...Almost couldn't keep the food in..Had to pop anti-nausea pills just to keep the food down where it should be...Spent the rest of the night hugging a vomit bag to sleep..just in case I puke...Almost did for a few times...but luckily didn't..
Was abit sad that Ahboy couldn't make it down on Thursday evening to visit me...
By Friday, the nurses were telling me that I was doing pretty well...and should be fit to be transferred to a normal ward already...Around 5pm...I made the transfer...went over to Ward 74 Room 10 Bed 2...As usual..I ws the youngest in the room...the other 2 occupants being 2 other old aunties...
My memories of those days in ICU are abit sketchy...probably because I was drifting in and out of consiousness, in and out of sleep...popping painkillers, feeling nauseous & there were quite a number of people going in and out of my room...
Nurses and my parents were ever so often checking in on me..I remember Auntie Angie, Adrian, Ahboy & Eddie coming to visit me..and I remember someone telling me that my face looked so puffy...On and off one of my assigned doctors would pop in and tell me I'm recovering fast...On and off, I would be requesting for more pain killers for my headaches...
One thing still vivid in my memory..haa...There was a point in time where they were sponging me and trying to clean me up...and I was stripped bare for the world to see...and then!! they took out a razor...and started shaving my pubic area...gosh.........would have rolled my eyes if they weren't so swollen in their sockets...no wonder after that felt so cold..no more fuzz to keep me warm...was naked as a baby's bottom down there...
Wednesday evening was my first meal since sunday night 12am (or more rightly Monday morning)...porridge with stir fried cabbage and some funny chicken and egg thingy...a nurse was trying to feed me...i couldn't feed myself cos 1. I was hooked up to various tubes which was uite a mess of tangles...and 2. I was wearing specs so couldn't really see what the hell I was eating...
After not earing for so many days...and then suddenly food was introduced back into the tummy...I got quite distended I think...Almost couldn't keep the food in..Had to pop anti-nausea pills just to keep the food down where it should be...Spent the rest of the night hugging a vomit bag to sleep..just in case I puke...Almost did for a few times...but luckily didn't..
Was abit sad that Ahboy couldn't make it down on Thursday evening to visit me...
By Friday, the nurses were telling me that I was doing pretty well...and should be fit to be transferred to a normal ward already...Around 5pm...I made the transfer...went over to Ward 74 Room 10 Bed 2...As usual..I ws the youngest in the room...the other 2 occupants being 2 other old aunties...
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
post op
Next day : 12th Oct
"Michelle! Michelle!! This is Doctor Ng here..." You are now in ICU...the operation was successful...You did good.!.."....Woozy as I was...tried to garble a reply...but my throat was too sore...couldn't talk..just made some raspy sounds..
These were my immediate recollections of what happened after the surgery... and from what mum n dad told me...the op took a whole lot longer than expected...I went through 10 hours of it..instead of the 5-6 initially predicted by john thomas...Slept the howle of Tuesday night...and by the glorious time I woke..it was already Wednesday..and I was parked in ICU...nooked up to a respiraory machine and a few other funny machines....and yeps..I was freezing away as usual...and huddled under 3 blankets..Gingerly lifted up my head..hwoa...huge bandage..And there was this irritatingly thick oxygen pipe in my mouth going down my throat...gosh..that was horrible...
Drifted off into sleep again..with a throbbing head & woozy eyes...and the next time I got up was when nurses were trying to get that pipe out of me...I gagged and sputtered..thought my throat was gonna be ripped apart man...face and eyes were swollen too...couldn't even open my right eye...swollen shut...could only open the left one..they finally managed to get the tube out....and then I went off into slumberland again.....the GA coupled with the effect of the tablet pain killers really zonked me out major man.....
...............
"Michelle! Michelle!! This is Doctor Ng here..." You are now in ICU...the operation was successful...You did good.!.."....Woozy as I was...tried to garble a reply...but my throat was too sore...couldn't talk..just made some raspy sounds..
These were my immediate recollections of what happened after the surgery... and from what mum n dad told me...the op took a whole lot longer than expected...I went through 10 hours of it..instead of the 5-6 initially predicted by john thomas...Slept the howle of Tuesday night...and by the glorious time I woke..it was already Wednesday..and I was parked in ICU...nooked up to a respiraory machine and a few other funny machines....and yeps..I was freezing away as usual...and huddled under 3 blankets..Gingerly lifted up my head..hwoa...huge bandage..And there was this irritatingly thick oxygen pipe in my mouth going down my throat...gosh..that was horrible...
Drifted off into sleep again..with a throbbing head & woozy eyes...and the next time I got up was when nurses were trying to get that pipe out of me...I gagged and sputtered..thought my throat was gonna be ripped apart man...face and eyes were swollen too...couldn't even open my right eye...swollen shut...could only open the left one..they finally managed to get the tube out....and then I went off into slumberland again.....the GA coupled with the effect of the tablet pain killers really zonked me out major man.....
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