Aunt Agony Emergeth Too

The start of the Rabbit Year seems to have brought me into a few "listening-ear" situations again.

Over the last few days, I unwittingly found myself providing listening ears on three separate occasions.

****
1) A girlfriend, whom I was very close to last time, spent some time talking to me on Saturday night about her almost failing, if not failed, relationship with a guy who is a divorcee with two kids. 3 years spent being there for him and now she may be calling it quits.

Sigh, I guess it really is time to move on, however hard it may be, if you cannot see any future or direction in the relationship. Or if you think you and your partner are just cruising along with nowhere to head to in particular. Or if it turns out to be just a one-sided effort in attempting to grow the relationship further. I hope she finds what she truly deserves in this Rabbit Year....

****
2) I received a call on Monday afternoon. From a friend whom I've not heard from for the last 10-12 months at least. We met up for coffee that same afternoon. He used to be my vendor when I was still working in the Marketing line. We've kept in touch over the last few years and are more like friends now. When we met up, he shared with me the reason for his "disappearing" for so long.

His business was doing very badly. Fledgling. He was "played out" by some clients and partners alike. And by September or October last year, he was quite cash-strapped. Although his wife was working (and still is), they also had two young kids below 5 to look after and his mum was also living with them. At times, he and his wife had to share a packet of chicken rice between themselves for dinner.

Still, he managed to get some references from friends and is currently holding onto 3 jobs now. He also shared with me that he did not know he had the strength and energy to keep on going. He'd work from 9am to 5pm, then go off for sales appointments for another job of his, go home and then try to settle admin matters needed for his sales job and hit the sack at 2am or so. On the weekends, especially in the evenings, he'd be helping to manage an Italian restaurant somewhere in the east side of Singapore.

Though his schedule seems to be jam-packed, I think he still makes the effort to be there for his children and family too....I hope things get brighter for him this year and may he find a suitable solution to better his financial situation.

****
3) A long-time friend, whom I've known for close to 18 years, called me up just now. After the usual pleasantries, he shared with me that things weren't exactly rosy between himself and his wife. Arguments are getting more frequent, his wife seems to be suffering from depression, he's working on shift-work timing now in a new role, his wife's physical health isn't good too and medical bills amount to a few hundred each month...Things are taking a toll on their relationship

Still, he's keeping his head high and trying to work things out little by little...I wish him all the best and hope that things smoothen out eventually for them...

They've been together for about 15 years already and married for the last 3-4 years. I really hope they work things out...

The Nerd Doth Emergeth

Carrefour was having its book sales again. A third of the atrium outside carrefour was occupied by tables with books and books and books piled on them.

I tried.

But.

I could.

Not.

Resist.

And so.

I got myself 5 books. 1 cookbook, 1 novel and 3 classics.

1. Chef At Home, a cookbook featuring mainly Asian dishes which are familiar to all of us and loved by me and K. :) They have buah keluak recipes in there too lol. I couldn't decide whether to get it or not. So I flipped the book page by each tantalising page. And then I was sold. Or rather, my tastebuds worked up a frenzy and convinced my brain to buy the book.
   
2. Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffennegger. The same lady who wrote The Time Traveller's Wife, a book which I like alot. And which touched me truly, madly and deeply. I remember feeling very emotionally involved when I was reading the book.
3. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe. What can I say? Haha, I read a watered down version of the book when I was a young girl. It was probably less than 50% of the original book but I remember I loved the story nevertheless.
4. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson. This is another classic book. But I think I have not read it yet. I cannot remember. ;p
5. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. Yet another classic novel. Its 500 pages of pages filled to the brim with words of font-size 9 (or 8 hmm....). Looking forward to it!!

And so, the nerd doth emergeth again.

I still have 7 books which I have not read yet, out of which 4 are French books. Coupled with the new 4 novels (the cookbook does not count), that's like 11 books. More than enough to last me for the year I think.

I need to wrap the covers of these books up in plastic!!
Ok, hopefully I can find time this Sunday night...:) Looking forward to it!

I always find joy in wrapping up the covers of my books...It makes them look smart and keeps them clean, tidy and sturdy. Now now, don't go giving me that weird look. I just think that we should all take care of our books and treat them with respect! Dog-eared books with creased and injured spines and tattered pages are a big no-no for me. :)

Excited and happy. :)

Mr Kyler Peck was born into this world to Alison, his beautiful mum and Keith, his proud dad, at 3:10pm today and weighing in at 3.615kg.

He is either sleeping soundly now in a crib at Thomson Medical Centre, or busy having a meal, or busy bonding with his proud parents.

And yours truly will get to see him tomorrow evening! :D

Congrats gal....:)))
Your wish for a rabbit baby came true!

Mama

We celebrated Granny's Chinese birthday today. It's her actual Chinese birthday - the 4th day of the lunar new year.

We gather each year at my aunt's place for lohei and potluck. And this year was no exception of course.

She's 96 this year if you're counting her age the Chinese way. And she's 95 if you're counting it in the Western way.

I don't know if she's had a happy fulfilling life. It's not up for me to say and only she herself can pass that verdict.

She led a harsh life all the way till her 30s or 40s...From being treated like a servant by her mum in a strict, traditional and matriachal Peranakan family. To having lost her husband in the Second World War after having been married for only less than a year and being heavily pregnant at the time. To having to give birth to my father in a tentage amidst the chaos of war in November 1942. To having to struggle to make ends meet and bring up 3 kids all by herself. To having lost her eldest son in a car accident just a few days after he turned 21.....

But I think the Gods have also blessed her and helped her from time to time.

Her late husband's sworn brother helped her out alot during the war and when she was bringing up the kids. All 3 kids grew up to be smart and filial and all became teachers, which was a much coveted for, well-paid and respected job during the 1960s. She's lived long enough to have 5 great-grandchildren now. And though the clarity of her mind comes and goes, she still has fond memories of all those years long gone and of all those people whom she once knew.

I told her this once "I love you Granny". I think it was last year. She just giggled at me and shushed me lol. It was one of her good days where she was quick of mind and was very chatty too haha.

She's been rather subdued lately and also quite confused. She kept calling my brother my father's name today.

I hope she cheers up soon and finds her spritely old self again.

Of wails and beams

And so. The 4 days of CNY holidays have come and are almost gone.

Some relatives have stopped giving me angpow. :( They told me I am big already, I should be getting married quickly, and hence, I shouldn't be getting angpows anymore. *wails*

A cousin said I have an angular face. I thought "angular" was used to describe men?? *wails*

An aunt said I have put on weight compared to last time. She said I have round cheeks. *wails*

My sister-in-law said I have mature looking hands i.e. old looking hands. She said my mum's hands look better than mine. But I moisturise everyday what!!!! *wails*

Oh. But then.

Another aunt said that the older I get, the better I look. *beams*

Another cousin said I am still slim and looking good. *beams*

I had (and will still have!!!) the "zi mo" luck in my mahjong games haha. *beams*

I had the chance to treat my brother's family to dinner. *beams*

Gastronomic Delights

• Pineapple Tarts
• Bak Kwa
• Kueh Lapis
• Heh Bee Hiam
• Cashew Nut Cookies
  
• Cuttlefish Slices
• Coconut Sweets
• Prawn Crackers
• Fish Keropok
• Berlinjau Keropok
• Tapioca Fried Sticks
• Agar Agar
• Fatt Choy
• Yu Sheng
• Fish Maw Soup
• Abalone
• Riesling
• Chardonnay
• Mango Cake
• Curry Chicken
• Chrysanthemum Tea
• Buah Keluak
  
• Kong Bah Pow
• Fried Bee Hoon
• Fried Vermicelli
• Sushi
  
• Sashimi
• Chawanmushi
  
• Green Tea
• Chye Tow Kueh
• Salad
• Chap Chye
• Pizza
• KFC
• Cereal Prawns
• Steamed Fish
• Tofu
• Sea coconut with white fungus
• Fried Rice

Um.

Just some of the things which went into my tummy since the eve of CNY.

Heh.

Industrious. Not.

I brought home some work to clear on the eve of CNY. Naively thinking I would have the time and discipline to complete most of it over the long CNY holidays.

Err, I attempted to clear some portions of it.

I. Tried. My. Best. To. Concentrate.

Ok, maybe it wasn't a very good attempt but I think the work which I managed to do is still passable. As for the rest of the work....errrr, they have remained untouched.

It happens every year.

Sheesh. And I don't know why I have not learned lol.

zzz

I couldn't sleep last night.

I was flipping around in bed for a good few hours till 3am.

May tonight bring me my much needed deep beauty sleep.

Good night world.

friends

I suddenly miss having lunch with Kelvin Han. Time flies darn fast.
It's been 1.5years since he left IDA.

We made a good team and took turns organising lunches and birthday gatherings. Even if others had their lunch appointments, most of the time, the two of us would still be the core two people who would go for lunch.

And there would thus be a regular lunch group.

These days...it's a dynamic lunch group...more dispersed..with certain factions forming.
And some rivalries/sensitivities between some people....It gets a little tiring trying to sync everyone up and make everyone happy.

Kel & I spoke a little over MSN this morning. He was working from home and thus could enjoy the luxury of having his MSN switched on while clearing work. We reminisced a little, talked rot a little and made a pact to have a gathering with some of the rest sometime in end March or early April.

I hope the gathering pulls through. It's be nice to get together again with some of those who have left....

:(

The weather is making me feel melancholic.
Cold and damp. Winds blowing. It's bringing my mood down.

I went to visit Gran after work just now. She was supposed to have been discharged but then she had some slight seizures and so had to be kept in the hospital. When I was there two nurses were changing her out of her dirty clothes.

She had wet herself again. Perhaps she's too used to having diapers in the nursing home. Or perhaps it's just old age and a general difficulty in controlling her bowels...Apparently, in the early afternoon, she didn't realise that she had shit on the bed. Dad was there and he told me about it.

When the nurses were done, she was feeling very cold and had huddled under the blanket. She also had on a black cardigan which had little yellow, blue and pink flowers sewn onto the front of the it. Very old-school and quite a nice cardigan actually. Adrian had gotten it for her as a Christmas present some years back. I think it was from Yue Hwa in Chinatown.

Anyway all she wanted to do was sleep and so all I could do was to stroke her head and pat he leg from time to time.

A senior staff nurse came after about 15mins and we both tried to wake her up for her dosage of 7-8 medicine pills, her nightly eye drops (a different type for each eye) and her nightly nasal puff (to aid in breathing and for clearing the airways).

She was grumpy. Fought with the nurse, swatted our hands away and declared that she wanted to sleep. "DON'T DISTURB ME" she growled in Malay. She then pulled the blanket over her head and hid under there, ignoring even me.

The senior staff nurse didn't want to agitate her anymore and left Gran as she was.

I couldn't do anything much and left soon after as well.

I don't know how to describe Granny actually. A feisty frail old lady?
Oxymoron leh..hmm.

Anyway, CNY plans are quite screwed up now. I was looking forward to staying at home and having visitors over on the first day because we were intending to bring Gran home. Adrian, Mei & Marc would go around visiting and representing our family.

Now it seems like the new plan is for the whole family to go out visiting together. All squeezed into one car, Adrian, Mei, Marc, Dad, Mum and myself. Sigh. I didn't get suitable clothes for going out....I bought something quite casual to be worn at home. Sigh. I forsee...a tedious 1st day for CNY.

Gran

It takes a lot of patience and understanding to care for patients. It takes an incredible amount of patience, understanding and strength to care for mentally-ill patients, physically disabled patients and elderly patients, especially those who have dementia.

I salute all the doctors, nurses and care-givers who have in one way or another, taken care of my granny in hospital or in the nursing home.

==========
Gran’s in hospital again. Been in there since Thursday last week for a gout attack on her right leg. And she had a suspected minor stroke on Saturday morning.

Those who visited her yesterday said she was doing fine. She could talk lucidly and crack jokes. She could understand things which were said to her and was aware of things in the real world.

I was there with Dad during lunch today.

She wasn’t doing good today. Physically almost okay but mentally out of sync.

When we arrived, we found her at the nurses’ station. She was strapped to a wheelchair and ranting about needing a nurse to phone her son. She saw us and recognized us. But she called my father her father, and she called me her daughter. Took her a few minutes to realize her mistake. But well, at least she did realise her mistake and could still remember my name thereafter.

We found out later on that she had climbed out of her bed and was tottering to the toilet on her own. Risk of falling is extremely high and risk of severe injuries from falling is equally high. Luckily a nurse saw her in time and since that incident, they had to put her in a wheelchair next to their station so that she wouldn’t sneak out of her bed anymore.

She was fixated on a particular thought that made zero sense. She kept saying that either Dad or Adrian was working in the hospital and she could ask the nurses to call either one to come and bring her home. She kept talking about this.

We tried distracting her by talking about other things but she would always go back to that.

Sometimes, she would speak and get so emotional and upset that her face turns red and I half-expect teardrops to fall. Said she'd be better off dead, amongst other things.

Sigh. It’s days like this when I feel helpless and sad.

Gatherings

And so another weekend goes by in a jiffy.

Thursday night was dinner with Daniel.
Friday night was a full 8-course Teochew Chinese dinner and lohei with the Duckies.
And Saturday night was a Thai dinner followed by drinks at Marina Mandarin Hotel with the sec sch gang.

Good few days. May there be many more good days to come in 2011. :)

p/s: been eating and eating and eating....more eating over CNY. *burp*

Conversations

Once upon a time....

C: f*** you lah
M: no cannot. I got hole but you got no stick
C: i can wear a strap-on
M: hahahahha


*to be continued*

Laments

I am a zombie today. With a stomach that is not doing too good. And a body that is retaining too much water.

Zombieness. I felt myself float through the crowds on the bus and the train station and in the train. I think I floated from the Promenade station to my office tower and somehow got to my floor and then to my desk. And now I feel like I’ve a piece of rock for my head, heavy and unwielding.

Slept late last night.

Discomfort. I think I need to install an internal reminder or internal warning system of some sort. Maybe some neuron could send a buzzing sound to my ear everytime I say yes to a glass of beer.

I forgot that in the last one to two years, I’ve developed an intolerance to beer. After having just one glass or mug or small bottle, my stomach will have an adverse reaction. Sometimes I am ok, most times I am not. It happened again last night when I was out for dinner with Daniel. I forgot and had beer…which resulted in me having a bad tummy this morning. I still feel bloated and uncomfortable…:(

Bloatedness. The discomfort of my tummy is further amplified by the general feeling of bloatedness. Something most women go through when that time of the month is drawing near. Oh why do my symptoms always change each cycle? It could be a breakout this time round, then it changes to bloatedness the next time round, and then after that aches and pains for the next cycle.
I think I might not achieve much at work today. Especially with 80% of my team being on leave or at reservist.

birthdays.

I don’t like it when some people come to you and tell you that their birthday is coming soon. Seriously, what are you expecting by broadcasting? A treat? A present?

And then there are others who treated you on your birthday and then suddenly reappears and asks you out for dinner sometime round their own birthday, expecting a treat back from you.

It is quite tiresome and it irks me.

LDR

Acronyms are part and parcel of my job. Yes, I'm a public servant.

So. LDR.

Long-Distance Relationship.

LDRs are not easy. One's here, the other's there. One's in this time zone, the other's in a time zone 7-8 hours slower than yours. When you're happy, you can't just call and share your joy immediately. When you're sad and things really get you down, you can't ring and pour out your sorrow. When you're frustrated about what life has to offer you, you can't just call and speak your mind.

It is really not a nice feeling when you find yourself down in the dumps and need someone to talk to or hold you but there isn't anyone. The loneliness and sadness you feel gets amplified multiple-fold.

But.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

You learn to cope. You learn to adjust. You learn to adapt. You learn to love the other party even more. You learn to appreciate the other party even more. Add a generous dash of committment and the equation balances itself.

I just heard of a couple who recently went their separate ways. Girl's overseas and guy's over here.

Other reasons were present though the split was largely due to them being in an LDR. I know the girl and I heard she wasn't taking it very well. Oh of course. Who would take such things well and easily? (except scumbags maybe) But I'm sure she'll bounce back in no time. She seems the resilient sort.

I'll admit. Though I do feel for the girl and can imagine the heartache she must be going through right now, secretly, I am just very thankful K & I have managed to work hard to keep things going. I really do appreciate his efforts and love him even more for it.

I am thankful too for the technology that has allowed us to keep in touch ever so often.
Skype, MSN, WhatsApp.

Oh I wish there were a teleporting device. Then couples in LDRs can teleport to each other in an instant. :)

Titles are cumbersome

I bought stuff today again. Small little things. To feed some of my interests haha.

- a bottle of plant food for African Violets (and yes Ally, I think this bottle will last me for years too...lol, unless you want to throw yours away and then I can give you half of my new bottle)
- a packet of cream-coloured pearl beads, each about 5mm in diameter
- a 1.3mm crochet needle

Yay, I'll have things to occupy me during CNY Day 1 when I'll be cooped up at home waiting for guests to arrive. We're bringing Granny home from the nursing home for that day so I'm expecting the relatives to come again this year.

Plus, I've just started on an interesting book set in 1940s and 1950s Hong Kong. Pre-war and post-war Hong Kong. From the eyes of rich Englishmen, rich Chinese and the Portugese. The socialites of that era. Interesting interesting interesting. :)

Buzz

I’m buzzing.

I don’t know if it’s the Chinese New Year festivities or the cosmic forces ushering in the Rabbit year. Perhaps it’s because a new year has started or the prospect of a bonus and increment coming in April. I don’t know.

But I’m buzzing. I feel it in my strides. I feel it in the energy flowing through me. I feel it on the tiny hairs on my skin.

Maybe it’s just the medication. Maybe it’s the crisp winds blowing everyday now. Maybe, just maybe, it’s the shopping which I’ve been doing almost everyday for the past week or so.

It could be....
The anticipation of K coming over in Feb. :)

Daiso-liciously Fun!

I went to Daiso after work today. The one at Plaza Singapura.

I spent a lovely lovely 1hour plus looking through the aisles and aisles of things that they have. From knick-knacks to toys to cosmetics to crockery to cutlery to DIY things to gardening tools to stationery to fabrics to food to toiletries to socks to hats to bags to cushions to...gosh the list seems non-exhaustible...(is there such a word? non-exhaustible? oh nvm, you get what I mean)

And each item at only $2...I could go bonkers in there.

But due to time constraints and to a little voice nagging at me that no I don't actually need a toilet seat cover or a net to keep out insects, I ended up with only 19 items. And thus only spent $38 in the shop.

I think I might go back soon. Hehe. And go on a rampage in there. Perhaps.

I don't have pictures of the things that I got...but here's a simple list based on memory...

- gift wrapper @ 2 different types
- a pretty envelope with greenish flowers on it
- a small spade for gardening
- a small bottle with a curved nozzle for gardening
- a small red pouch with japanese traditional art on it
- a face cleansing device which has tiny rubber bristles to clear your pores of dirt and other sebaceous materials
- an octupus flavoured snack
- a pair of stockings
- a table cloth which was supposed to be used for placing your cutlery on but which I will use to cover my laptop in office
- 2 ceramic cups which were originally meant for drinking out of but which I use for bu8ilding more terrariums
- a packet of coloured post-it-pads
- a 50cm long piece of white sopnge for my mum to do her cleaning with
- 2 balls of thick thread, one pink and one pale green for me to do some crocheting with
- a packet of small white cobble stones/pebbles for me to build my terrariums with


That's 17 items already.....but for the life of me, I cannot remember what the last 2 items are haha.....:)

Till here. For the Shell needs her beauty sleep.

Tsk Tsk

This second round of cough medication is rather strong.

It knocked me out at 11pm last night and I didn’t wake till the sun came streaming into my room. I slept through two alarms. As a result, I reached office at 930am today.

Gosh, I’m getting less and less punctual for work. I need to work harder on this.
Perhaps sleeping earlier will help? Hmm.

My little garden

Terrariums are supposed to be easy to care for. Fittonias are hardy indoor plants and are supposed to be easy to care for too.

I have no idea how, in my month-long absence, my mum managed to almost destroy one of my open-air terrariums. It's the smallest terrarium somemore, just a small little jar which used to house preserved soy beans.

Sigh, I told her not to water it anymore since I'm back. She watered it anyway. And didn't bother taking notice of how water-logged it already was. I discovered, to my horror, that the water level was above the soil. My plants were SWIMMING in muck. And she didn't notice it.

Sigh.

And they were probably waterlogged alot of times during my absence. One can tell by looking at their stems and leaves. You know those science experiments we did in primary school where you take a white rose, stick it in blue colour water and its leaves and petals start turning blue after a day or two? Well the plants in this terrarium had stems which were brown in colour and some of the leaves were half brown too, after having taken in too much muddy water.

So I spent my whole afternoon saving this terrarium. Took out the plants and repotted them elsewhere. Transplanted newer, younger and fresher stalks of fittonias into the jar instead. And of course I drained out as much water as I could.

Repotted my other pots of fittonias into larger pots and also the plant that Ally gave me last night. Hehe, so sweet, she gave me one of her pots of African Violets. Yay new plant for me! :)

Oh yes, did I mention my mum also murdered my cactus? I came back last Friday to see a grey-brown looking lump of what-used-to-be-vegetation instead of my fresh green cactus. Sigh, no cactuses for the time being till I get my other plants in order.

I might need to stock up on my soil, sphagnum moss, activated charcoal, and pebbles hmmm.
Maybe I might need some more pots too, prettier ones. Ally gave me an idea, I'll visit Daiso tomorrow to see what deals I can get there. :D

Ayam Buah Keluak

It has been a tradition in my family since eons ago. Since I was old enough to remember, we've always had Ayam Buah Keluak as one of the main dishes during CNY. Nothing too strange about it since I grew up in a household strongly influenced by Peranakan practices. My Granny's Peranakan for the uninitiated.

Granny used to helm this task each year. She'd do almost everything herself and I remember running around in the kitchen watching her prepare this dish when I was young. (Mind you, this is a dish which is tedious to prepare and needs alot of effort.)

That was up until the time when she didn't have the strength anymore to cook and prepare everything. And then my mum took over. With Granny giving instructions by the side or doing the simple things like chopping up the spices to be used for the gravy paste.

And then the time came when Granny couldn't even handle a knife. Mum took over completely. And it was around that time as well when Dad & I were roped in as helpers.....that was at least 5-6 years ago or it could have been longer.

Anyway it was no different this year. Mum & Dad bought the nuts at a Bedok South stall about 2 weeks back at $0.30 for each nut. About a week ago, Mum scrubbed them clean and soaked them in a pot of water.

This morning, Dad & I set about our arduous task of "tackling" the nuts. Dad, with his trusty screwdriver and heavy duty hammer, cracked open the nuts and I, with my trusty metal plier, would pry open the cracks further and enlarge the holes in the nuts, till the holes were big enough to fit a finger inside.

After the nuts were cracked open, we then had to scrape out all the contents within. Mum would then mix fish paste with the nut fillings. Dad & I then had to fill the empty nutshells up again with this new prepared buah keluak paste.

In the meantime, Mum would be frying the spices and getting the gravy base ready. And preparing the chicken drumsticks and chicken pieces to be thrown in together with the buah keluak.

By the time Dad & I were done, it was already close to 12pm. 2.5hours of work just to prepare the nuts.

And Mum still had to cook them in the soup base together with the chicken pieces.

By the time she was done, it was already 2-something close to 3pm.

5hours of work.

3 person's efforts.

2 big pots of Ayam Buah Keluak.

Nonya dishes are really tedious to prepare.

Maybe that's why they taste so so good.

And oh yes, we saved a tupperware of it for someone who's salivating in Europe right now. ;p

My Sunday

It was a tiring day. Up till late afternoon at least.

I woke early at 8-something which never happens on a Sunday morning. I set my alarm clock to wake me up that's why. ;p Checked my office email, harvested the crops in my Smurfs village and then read some of today's newspapers.

Came 930am and it was time to start the family tradition. Oh, at least it's a tradition between my parents and I. The annual Ayam Buah Keluak cooking session. Tedious thing but that's gonna be a whole post on its own.

Anyway, finished that by lunch time, had my lunch, rested awhile. And then it was gardening time. I was at it for a good 2.5hours. Details to be shared later. After bonding time with my plants, it was a quick shower and then bonding time with K.

:) It was morning in London and he had to sit at his hotel's lounge which was the only place that had WIFI in the whole building. Skyped for an hour and then it was dinner.

I spent dinner camped out in front of the TV and watching an episode of the new Korean serial showing on KBS Channel 115. Finished that and then...

Voila, here I am in front of the PC again. :) I just popped my antibiotics and had my cough syrup which would guarantee a drowsy me by the time 945pm comes. Just nice for bedtime anyway.

Strange

2010 was a strange year. In the sense that nothing major happened in my life. No significant milestone, no big events.

Since 2004, there has been something significant happening in my life each year. Be it a positive or negative event, there would definitely be something big happening each year.

For 2010 however, nothing major occurred. Nothing I could say which made a big impact on my life. The year was surprisingly calm, plain and simple.

Hmm. I wonder what 2011 has in store for me.

Year 2010

In gist.

I visited a number of cities, tried their cuisines, walked their streets, sat on their public transport, admired their architecture, visited their churches, explored their museums and bought their souvenirs. Kuala Lumpur, Brussels, Amsterdam, Los Angeles, Cartagena, Nice, Paris, Geneva, London, Venice and Rome. My fridge door has been lovingly adorned with magnets from different cities. :)

Some long-lost friends found me on Facebook. Some other friends went MIA, two of whom somehow missed my birthday even though they did not for the last 10 years. Kept things going with those who matter and love them even more.

I turned 30. And had a fantastic time celebrating with friends, colleagues and family. And I even had a virtual celebration with K too haha. I don’t feel 30 though. My mind seems to be stuck in my 20s. Denial? I don’t know. ;p

Started a mini gardening project and am still keeping it up!Cactuses and fittonias for the time being as they’re hardier plants and relatively easy to care for. Alison just gave me a pot of African Violets too. :)

Jogging also distanced itself from me in the last quarter of the year…wait, or was it the other way around hmm. ;p

I redid my entire room in June! Tore out my old furniture, put in new ones. All major furniture are dark brown in colour which is my favourite colour for furniture. Repainted the whole room in two shades of yellow. Threw out many old things and kept minimal items. Redecorated everything. Minimal items, minimal clutter.

Read more than 12 books (I think). Both fiction and non-fiction. Some were thoroughly enjoyable. Others were just forgettable. Bought a lot of books, at least 15 of them. Some in French, a majority in English. I’ll enjoy them slowly over the course of 2011.

My grand-aunt, passed away in May. My granny’s younger sister. I visited her in hospital 12 hours before theLord took her away. I spoke to her and I hope she heard me even though she had been in a coma for almost a day by then. The experience brought me a little closer to some of my cousins. Felt rather sad but I guess that’s life. I am just glad she led a good life and had very filial grandchildren.

Managed to strive on with French classes. Oui, et je pense encore que cette langue est tres difficile!

I saw the pope! Well, almost. I missed him by 10 minutes and had to watch him from a video outside the St Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican City haha.

Cooked Loh Mai Gai (glutinous rice) for the first time and it turned out quite nice actually. :)

Permed my hair for the first time in my life.

Kept up my weekly visits to Granny. Except for the times I was traveling. I’ve lit candles and also prayed on her behalf in churches in Venice, Rome and Paris.

Embarked on a month-long break from work. The first time I’ve had such a long break. And no, the month-long MC in 2005 after my major operation does not count. I went travelling in Europe. And lived the life with K. I felt happy, fortunate and blessed to be able to take such a lovely break.

Other things probably happened in 2010. I can’t really recall. Then again, if I cannot recall, they might have been insignificant. :D

Narcissism and the Weekend Ahead!

I had a happy time doing something I've not done for a long time.
I was trying on all the new clothes which I'd gotten myself over the past week.

Yes, the narcissist in me appears quite often these days lol. Maybe the Europe trip had something to do with it. Hmm ;p

It's a happy Friday. :)
And I'm looking forward to the weekend ahead. Especially tomorrow evening with Ally & PQ.
It's catch up time for the girls!

Sunday will be a cooking day as my parents and I need to start preparing for the Ayam Buah Keluak dish that we have annually during CNY. Sunday will be D-Day where we will crak the nuts open, enlarge the holes, dig out the meat inside, mix the meat with fish paste and prawn paste, and then stuff the meat inside the nut shells again. Yum. :)

The Man

I miss K. Wonder what he is doing now.
He's in London for a career fair. So I really hope it was a fruitful day for him.

Great Friday Night!

It wasn't a fruitful day in the office. I was sleepy and simply had no mood to think or do any form of work. I did some filing and cleared up abit of the papers on my table. Replied some emails, finished up my self-appraisal, advised some of my staff on some areas they weren't sure of and that was about it.

I also went to see the doctor again this afternoon as I still have a slight cough and stuffy nose.

But it was a different story after work. I spent time on my own. I went shopping and participated in a lucky draw. And then I had a slow quiet dinner on my own at Coffee Club at Millenia Walk.

In between 6pm till 915opm when I left town, I managed to:

- Get myself 2 dresses, 2 belts, 2 tops and 1 skirt
- Get my annual must-buy: Lilian Too's 2011 Horoscope for the Monkey
- Finish up the book "Freakonomics" by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner
- Edit my CV (though it was done on hard copy and I'd have to amend the soft copy later on)
- Do up a blogpost (on hard copy again)
- Sort through some thoughts
- Listen to Korean jazz
- Get supper for my parents
- Have my favourite seafood bisque soup from Coffee Club
- Participate in a lucky draw
- Visit a small exhibition area in Suntec where they were showcasing various breeds of absolutely adorable rabbits

I thought it was a very fruitful night. And I was feeling happy spending time alone on my own and managing to do and complete most of the things I set out to do.

Whee! :)

Mr Ding

I had dinner with TH today. It was a last minute thing and he called me up since he was hanging around Raffles City. We ended up at Botejyu at the basement of the mall.

The set meals we had were quite nice actually! I ordered a tofu hamburger steak and it came with a Japanese pancake, a bowl of miso soup, a bowl of rice and some accompanying sauteed bean sprouts.

The steak was actually tofu and minced pork mixed together and shaped into a patty. It was marinated in a slightly sweet, slightly salty brown sauce. The Japanese pancake had seafood in it and was mixed with flour and cabbage.

It was a lovely meal with great company! Hhahaha...
I'm happy for him. He's gotten himself a job! And is starting work next week! After close to 4 months of rest.

Hmm, what's this with friends all finding jobs. Yesterday it was Purpleskies and today's it's TH. Tomorrow? Hmmm...lol.

Anyway, the highlight was that I discovered we'll be neighbours at work pretty soon!!! He'll be at Alexandra too! So after I shift office in end April, I'll be at the second building in front of his building.

Wheee! Another lunch kaki! :)))

Little Mr K

This is exciting. :D

Alison’s gonna pop in the next 2 weeks plus. Hee…the first baby in our group!
And a big baby at that! Apparently he’s weighing about 3.3kg now. I think that’s quite huge actually as it works out to be more than 7pounds! There’s still about 2 weeks more to go, I wonder if he’ll grow somemore…hmm.

PQ & I are going over to her place this Saturday. I told PQ, if Alison happens to pop while we’re there, then we might need to morph into midwives. Hehe. :)

I won't reveal the little one's name yet. But yes, he's another K.... haha.

Lol, Pq, Ally and I each have our own Ks. :D

My Dreams

I realise I have recurring dreams.

All my dreams almost always fall into two categories. It would either be in a school or varsity hostel environment, or it would be a crime scene/puzzle and I would be one of the investigators or police officer assigned to the case.

And all, if not most, of the dreams would involve me feeling a sense of anxiety or fear or being perplexed.

The dreams in school or hostel usually involve me trying to find my way somewhere or I would be walking/running past long corridors and or room doors.

The crime dreams always involve violent crimes like murder or assault. None of them have ever involved petty crimes like theft or vandalism.

And in all my dreams, there will be people I know. I've dreamt of sec sch people, uni folks, ex and current colleagues, relatives, my immediate family, etc.

And I always have first party dreams. That is, I am seeing things from my perspective and not through the eyes of a third party. I do not see myself in the dream but I see through my own eyes. Do I make sense here?

Anyway, I find it slightly disturbing that my dreams almost always fall into these two types.

Hmm.

Bans

There are souvenir T-shirts with the phrase “Singapore is a fine city” emblazoned across the front in big bold letters. There have been jibes about the tons of different types of fines there are in Singapore. Pretty soon, there’ll be a whole laundry list of things which are banned too.

Some existing bans which we are all too familiar with include the ban on chewing gum and the ban on smoking in various public places.

As with all restrictions imposed on Singaporeans, when these bans were first imposed, those who were affected griped, moaned, complained, sulked and cried their little hearts out. But still grew to live with the restriction eventually.

Not much of a choice anyway right? The people in white call the shots. Oh. Opps. I mean the government calls the shots.

And then there is the other category. Bans imposed by private entities.

A few of these have come under the spotlight recently. You hear about it on the radio, you read about it in the papers and online. People are complaining about human rights, unfair treatment, discrimination, yada yada. I read their comments with amusement.

For one, some restaurants in Singapore are banning children in their premises. And the number of restaurants going in this direction seems to be increasing. Their reason? Rowdy kids are a turn-off for other patrons.

For the other, 8 out of 10, if not all, condomimiums in Singapore are banning domestic helpers from using their swimming pools. Their reason? These domestic helpers always flout the rules. What rules? I don’t know, the reports did not elaborate. Maybe domestic helpers in bikinis and swimsuits lead to men going astray?

Anyway.

The former ignited a huge backlash from the community. Needless to say, especially from young parents and would-be young parents. Hell hath no fury like um, a parent denied his/her few remaining and rapidly depleting social excesses?

I say rapidly depleting because it seems like most peoples’ social lives dip drastically after a child appears in their lives. Correct me if I am wrong. But I don’t know any parent who still keeps playing mahjong from dusk to dawn every weekend after having a child.

I digress.

Class 95 deejay Glenn Ong has his own views on children and their parents. He said one day on the Morning Express that parents who do not know how to keep their kids in check should be banned from having children in the first place.

The devil in me agrees wholeheartedly. My blood pressure rises each time I see parents either ignoring or allowing their ill-behaved kids to continue behaving like spoilt brats or raving monkeys.

Then again, there are also the parents who manage to rein in their children and keep in them control. For these parents who cannot bring their children to a certain restaurant anymore and are unhappy about that fact, I say, no choice. Suck thumb lor. Live with it. Hey, I couldn’t have my chewing gum too because some assholes kept sticking their chewed up gums in between lift doors and on lift buttons.

A few inconsiderate black sheep leads to the whole herd being ostracized and penalised. Life’s unfair. Nobody ever said it was. :)

The latter ban. Domestic helpers not being able to use a condominium’s swimming pool.

Class 95 opened it up for discussion. Needless to say, a whole flurry of comments came in. Some for, most against. Most listeners seemed appalled at the discrimination. And said that it wasn’t a discrimination against race or anything. It was a discrimination against an occupation. (Strange how these people didn’t use the word “profession”.)

I agree that while such a ban seems discriminatory, a condo manager did highlight that most condos will still allow domestic helpers to use the pools, especially when they need to take care of the kids under their charge. But they will not hesitate to tell them to leave if they flout any rules or if any other condo resident complains.

Seems fair enough for me if these condos allow some bending of their own restrictions. Like most restrictions and rules, they are there not to be enforced all the time. But to allow someone to be able to enforce if and when the need to arises. In Singlish terms, “I close one eye but if people complain then I will catch.”

=========

I am under medication and am half drowsy.

It’s strange how much crap I can type out under the influence of drugs.I don't know if I am making sense actually. I let my fingers do the typing.

Oh, I am high.

Sigh

I don’t know if I have changed or friends have changed. Perhaps we have all changed. And with changes come adjustments which can be easy or difficult depending on how much emotions are involved and depending on how much people accept that you have changed.

It is rare that friends have brought me tears of sadness. But it has happened before on a few occasions. Today is one occasion.

I don’t feel good now. Not at all. And it’s made even worse because today is my last day at work before I go on leave. I have things to clear but cannot concentrate on them properly.

Sometimes I wonder if I am taken for granted. Sometimes I wonder if I take people for granted. Sometimes I wonder why I am not an expressive person. When it comes to unhappy things with friends, I tend to dust things under the carpet or accept it with a shrug. Less is more ain’t it? More tolerance, less words, more compromise and acceptance = more harmony no?

For such a close friendship which has lasted a long long time and has seen and weathered its own storms, I hope this incident is only a small hurdle to cross.

Feeling tired, didn't want to work, hence...

Back in SG. Since Monday.

I remember watching several in-flight movies while on the way back home.
- Hanamizuki, a lovely Japanese film
- The Other Guys, finished watching the second half of the show
- Never Let Me Go, a movie base don dystopian ideals, somewhat eerie and disturbing at times, a little arty farty, based on a novel by Kazuo Ishiguro
- Charlie St. Cloud, I have to say Zac Efron did a good job here haha

It's been a busy time since touching down.

Was clearing a major piece of work, running around buying things for the trip and then packing at night. All the while feeling stoned and jetlagged on Monday and Tuesday.

It's Thursday already. Time really flies.

In less than 60 hours I will be flying off again. To see my baby in Nice. :)

I’m really keeping my fingers crossed that the weather doesn’t go any colder than it already is. I’m hoping hard for the snow to be light, light enough for all airports and planes to still operate. :)

Counting down to a white Christmas too. I’ve never seen real snow before and this will be the first time that I am spending Christmas away from home too. I’m glad I managed to settle all the family presents before going away...

It’s been 3.5months since K went over. Can’t wait. :)
It’s a pity his apartment doesn’t have fireplace. It’ll really be lovely to sit in front of it sipping hot chocolate and wrapped up in a warm blanket.

But oh the packing. Too many things. Too small a luggage. I've discovered the wonder of ziploc bags though. Am trying to see if I can squeeze in some cup noodles...and some creams...and I don't know if I need another pair of boots...and I don't know if I need another jacket...

Day 5 – 8th December Colombian time

Same old, same old. Meetings. Conferences. Taking notes. Felt quite tired by 4-plus in the afternoon and went back to the room to sleep till 6-plus. Dinner was a

Met a guy from Tunisia. Conversed a little in French with him but I didn’t really dare to talk freely lol. Paiseh of my broken French.

Colombian men & women
The men & women here are quite good looking. But only a small number of them, the fairer ones. Quite sensuous and model-like. But a great majority of them are dark-skinned and seem rough. Alot of pear-shaped, heavy bottomed women walking around. My colleague said it's a major turn-off lol.

Food
For those times that food is sponsored, I hardly have an idea what I am eating. Prawns are easily identifiable, as are meats. But things like rice, vegetables, and other tubers are quite difficult to identify. I was having fritters last night. I think they coul dhave been either sweet potato, bananas or tapiocas. As my friend from China said "Don't judge the food. Don't look. Just eat and swallow." Hahaha...

They have strong tastes here I think. Food is either very salty or very sweet.

Mozzies
My right foot has been a target for hungry mosquitoes. It's like as if word got around amongst them. I found close to 12 bites on the top of my right foot. And only there. No bites on the rest of my anatomy. Strange. Very strange.

Hotel Staff
The hotel staff know me by name. They see me and greet me with a cheery "Hello Miss Michelle!" Lol...and they also know me as the girl who asks for hot (drinking) water to be sent to her room almost everyday or every other day. ;p Oh yes, and the restaurant staff know me as the Chinese lady who takes tea (and not coffee) for her breakfast meal. Lol.
They are a nice bunch of people, especially the young boys Harold and Juan at the reception. Maybe I will take a photo with them before I leave this place.... :)

Day 4 – 7th December Colombian time

It was a productive day. I had a one-on-one meeting followed by a full day of conference sessions. Managed to keep awake and follow thorugh with most of the discussions and topics which were being presented. Managed to clear some work in between. And managed to meet-up with some overseas friends as well.

Had a sponsored dinner event and it was another lovely affair. I was at a table with Mexicans, a Spaniard, a guy from Costa Rica, another from Venezuela and another from Puerto Rico. It’s always interesting meeting people from different cultures and places. You learn that some fads are not only in your little island but are happening around the world too. Haha.

Told my parents about me sitting with these Latino men and my Dad's first reaction was to sak "Are they tikopeks?" ahahaha...

Caught up with old friends, by old meaning I’ve known them for around 3 years, haha…and met some new ones. :)

Day 3 – 6th December Colombian time

Not doing too good today. Am feeling jet-lagged and getting quite sick of eating bread, sandwiches, cheesy stuff and pasta. I miss my bee tai bak.

Spent a part of the afternoon in the hotel room accessing the meeting remotely.

Day 2 - Sunday 5th Dec Colombia Time.

Didn’t get a good night’s rest. There was some event going on around the hotel and booming music was going on till maybe 2-plus in the morning. Woke, skyped with K, and then went to the meeting venue to register myself and collect the goodie bag. :)

Took a walk by myself after that when I went back to the hotel. Opps, I broke my promise. Told my parents I’d not walk alone but ah well…nevermind lah hehe.

The Streets, Buildings and Vendors
The streets were alright, though with shady characters lurking around various street corners and street vendors plying their trade everywhere. Pushcarts, people carrying trays and walking around, motorcycles with a tray attached behind, hawkers, people with necklaces and bracelets strung on themselves, etc. All just trying to earn their living. And oh yes, some beggars here and there.

These people approach you and since I, being Asian, stick out like one big sore thumb, I was approached more often than not. Modus operandi was to play dumb, smile and walk away. They ask if I speak English, I’d just shake my head and smile. Eventually they’ll move off. The good thing is these people don’t touch you or try to pull you to their stalls. Unlike some of the other countries I’ve been to where they hold you and try to pull you to their wares.

The buildings are quite nice actually, all low-lying 2 or 3 storey buildings. Some colourful in yellow, red, green or blue hues. Others are just plan white. With railings and overhanging balconies and some with flowers trailing along the balcony railings.

Weather
Sunny, warm and much like Singapore. Except with more breeze as this place is just next to the Caribbean sea. Big bright blue skies with lots of white fluffy clouds. But it gets dark here early, probably around 5-plus.

People
There are whites, blacks and browns. Some of the brown-skinned people look like Filipinos, some fairer ladies look like Asians. Some of the really dark-skinned people look and talk like Jamaicans. Maybe they really are…I don’t know.

They can’t speak English well and most folk only one or two words of English. Which makes it extremely difficult to order food or buy things when you’re outside. It’s the same with cab drivers. They can’t speak English.

The ladies are really booby. Even the young girls are. I feel like I’ve got nothing when I stand next to them. Didn't really notice the men though haha...

The Start – Country Hopping, Movies and Bloodshot Eyes

It's the 4th of December now I think according to South American timing. Not too sure as I've been travelling across time zones. It gets very confusing really.

I feel dirty, oily, sticky and smelly as I sit here typing this. I am currently in Panama, sitting in an airport café with a cup of hot chocolate. Yeps, I am in South America, waiting for my last connecting flight to bring me into Colombia and into the city of Cartagena. By the way, it is pronounced as “Car-Tah-Hay-Nah”. :)

It has been an arduous journey so far. I started out at SG time 830am when I arrived at Changi Airport. That was the 3rd of December. Looking at my watch now, it is just past 12midnight on the 5th of December back home. Yeps, I’ve spent about 40 hours on the road so far. And will need to spend at least another 6 hours before I reach my hotel. (That’s about how long I’d have gone without a shower.) Fucking inefficient to spend 2 days to get to a conference venue.

I went from SG to Tokyo to Los Angeles. Had a 14-hour layover in LA and so we rented a car and went to some factory outlets to walk around in between. Came back to the airport and caught another flight to Panama where I am now. And I’ll be hopping onto another flight to get to Cartagena in Colombia about 4 hours later.

That’s friggin 5 cities within 4 separate flights within 3 continents within 2 days lah. Ugh.

The flight from SG to Tokyo had numerous delays due to a technical glitch. It was something about the auxiliary power supply accidentally shutting down. Definitely somehting which I’ve never experienced with Singapore Airlines. Flight from Tokyo to LA was punctuated with lots of turbulence in the first 2-3 hours. Felt like puking. Had the vomit bag within close reach just in case. Thank god I managed to keep everything in my gut.

The air stewardesses serving me on both SQ flights were also uncharacteristically rude. Maybe rude is too strong a word. Unwilling or “Buay Gam Guan” might be a better description. This is another something which I’ve never experienced with SQ. All SQ girls I’ve seen are smiley and very willing to help. Nevermind if they curse at passengers in private, at least they are professional in front of passengers. Not the two which I saw on my flights this time round. Both had perpetual black faces and were quite domineering when dealing with guests. Oh anyway….

I am holding out well so far…except for a scratchy throat and bloodshot eyes. It isn’t exactly fun trying to sleep intermittently on various flights. I may have had only had less than 15 hours of sleep in all. I’ve also lost myself in the days, dates and different time zones. I am literally flying back in time. LA is 16 hours behind SG and South America is 13 hours behind SG.

Oh yes, and my hair’s in a mess. Oh yes, my mind isn’t functioning as fast as it needs to. Oh yes, the backs of my ears are hurting cos I’ve had my spectacles on the entire time. Oh yes, I look quite nerdy too. Oh yes, my nose is a little leaky too from the cold weather in LA. Oh yes, my lips and hands are a little wrinkly and chapped from the dry air in the planes.

Did I already mention that I am holding out well so far? Sorry, my mind is functioning as well as it should be. Oh wait, did I say that already too? Hmm.

I watched three movies and a half on the SQ flights. “Eat, Pray, Love”, “Killers” starring Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl who were both extremely good-looking, and “Step Up 3”.

“Eat, Pray, Love” was a little draggy at times but I have to say it made me think about some things. “Killers” was quite funny asnd Katherine Heigl has proved that she’s got some comic talent within her. Ashton Kutcher was hot. Put the both of them together and voila…gorgeousness. “Step Up 3” was……entertaining enough. For only the dance battles and the dance scenes. The plot was horrid, lacked any depth whatsoever, and could have been written by a pre-pubescent girl.

I also watched “The Other Guys” halfway which explains the “half a movie”. Will try to finish it up on my return trip back home. Will also try to catch “Wall Street 2” and “Charlie St. Cloud”.

Speaking of which, I hope I won’t be too jet-lagged when I finally get my bum back home to Singapore and hope I can get enough rest before my next trip begins.

Mind Over Body

It is time for Vitamin C again. And loads of water.

Off with you, bloody sorethroat!! You're affecting my concentration at work!!

Thoughts. About Work.

It does suck a little when your boss claims your credit in front of the even bigger bosses. However small that credit may be.

It does not pay to be always the nice person.

Grapevines and gossip get you nowhere. But it does not harm to build up some small relationships here and there through such chatter. You never know when you need a helping hand.

Work-life balance is important. Enough said.

When in doubt, ask. When you're still in doubt, you either ask somemore and risk being labelled a bimbo, or shut up and pray to god to help you figure things out.

I've taken both paths. Figuring things out on your own does bring more satisfaction. But I've also come to realise that sometimes, two heads are definitely better than one.

A clear head and mind brings out the best results. I've been careless and distracted in recent times. And I mentally slap myself each time I discover a silly mistake I make.

People management is just as important as time and project management. From managing your boss to your peers to your support personnel to external parties to internal customers to colleagues from other divisions.

Procrastination. The taboo word in work. But I seem to be embracing it with all my heart. Especially for work items I dislike. This should not be happening though. I should be saying that I will change this trait. But I'd be lying to myself. So, in the spirit of honesty and truthfulness, I declare that I will try changing and improving but any positive result is unlikely to happen.

Till here.

Le sommeil m'evade

Je me suis couché sur mon lit pendant une heure.
J’ai essayé de s’endormir. Mais je ne peut pas et je ne sais pas pourquoi ca.
J'ai regardé dehors les fenetres, au ciel de la nuit qui est rose ce soir.
Je me suis surpris parce qu'il y a eu des larmes dans les coins de mes yeux.
J'ai pleuré. Tout seul. Silencieusement.
Ma coeur n'a pas été calme ce soir. Mais encore, je ne sais pas pourquoi.
Ah ben, peut-être j'essayerai encore de s'endormir.
J'espere que s'endormir bientot et tout les choses seront bien...

The Perennial Helper

I just started up an excel file and saved it as "The Perennial Helper".

As corny as it sounds, it is a tabulation of all the weddings I've helped out at. After being activated to help out at yet another wedding next month, I finally decided that perhaps I should list all of them down.

For posterity. Haha.

Some insights I gleaned from my list:

• My helper services officially started back in 2001 with my brother's wedding. I have excluded those weddings which had me as a flower girl when I was a young girl. I think there were two of those.
• Including the weddings happening next year for which I have been booked for my *ahem* excellent services haha, I would have helped out in a grand total of 11 weddings.
• Out of these 11 weddings, I would have manned the reception counter 9 times, which makes it an overwhelming more than 80% of the time. I've been duly advised that I am either pleasant looking enough, or I know enough people to do a good job, or I have done it so many times I am an obvious choice.

I have been pre-booked for 2 weddings happening next year and expect another "booking" to come in.

I have had a shirt tailored for me when I was a "brother" but surprisingly, no dresses sponsored for me haha.

I have helped at wet rainy weddings, hot sunny weddings and cloudy day weddings.

My services have been rendered at various locations all over Singapore like Bishan, Serangoon, Tampines, Jurong West, Ang Mo Kio, St Michael's, Hougang, Sengkang, Rochester, .......

And I have been a "sister", a "brother", a receptionist, an emcee, a main coordinator, a tea-lady, an umbrella holder, a wedding gown train holder, a guardian of ang pows, an usher.....you name it.

Voila, the life of a wedding helper.

Silly me.

I couldn't wake up this morning. Felt heavy and was aching a little.
Stood outside my door and contemplated the idea of taking an MC so I could sleep the whole day away....Somehow, I didn't.

And so I made my way to the office. Reluctantly dragging my feet like a little girl not wanting to go to school.

I "floated" my way through the day. Did some work. By some, I mean minimal.
Answered a few calls, replied a few emails. And felt the same aches in my neck and schoulders.

By evening, a sore throat had developed. Hmm, "heaty" I thought and chugged more water.

I went home and sat at my desk. Stared at myself in the mirror and felt the same tiredness as in the morning. I was deciding whether to go for my jog. Run the tiredness off, I said to myself.

And so, like a dutiful servant, I changed, did my warm-ups and went for a short jog. By mid-point, my legs felt like lead. By the time I reached home, I was half jogging, half walking.

I warmed down. Went back home. Had dinner, watched a TV serial.

And then discovered that.

I was running a slight fever. :(

Silly me.

I might have been running a slight fever the entire day without knowing. :(

Dreams again. :(

Last night was fraught with dreams. 3 in all. All had feelings of anxiety and tense-ness.

Dream #1
My granny decided that she wanted to go to Europe. By herself. At her current age of 94.
I remember her packing a lot of things. A lot of luggage. And she was trying to carry them all to the airport. I remember thinking how the hell was she going to survive the long flight there? Let alone carry all those bags of things? And how was she going to converse with the Europeans there? I remember being very worried about her having a cardiac arrest on board the plane……Sigh.

In reality, she’s in hospital again. And I was trying to plan for a trip to Europe at the end of the year. Put the two together and the above dream was what I got.

Dream #2
I dreamt of a Caucasian man named Chris. He was singing, albeit with a croaky voice, some old jazz song. He was drunk and got into an argument with someone else in the hotel lounge. It spiralled into a melee. Someone had his head smashed with a green beer bottle.

In reality, he’s a prominent figure in the domain name industry. An Australian with a caustic tongue at times but otherwise dedicated and passionate towards his cause.

Dream #3
It was a murder/crime scene again. Somewhat related to Dream #2 in that it was the same hotel. I don’t remember what I was doing in the hotel room. It was a suite. I was supposed to be investigating something when I came across a set of skeletal bones underneath a short flight of steps which led from the living room to the sleeping quarters. They were exposed because a tile had come loose and fallen off, revealing some sort of a crevice where the bones were. It was a female skeleton which was clutching a smaller skeletal frame, which I took to be of a young child’s. I remember a senior police officer coming by to take over the crime scene investigation. He was Caucasian and was dressed in a smart suit. He looked tres chic, as if he had just walked off a fashion runway. I couldn’t remember what else happened after that….

Damn it. The 3 crime novels I read over the last 2 months had such am impact on me?

Bad Dream

I feel like as if I didn’t sleep at all last night.

I was tossing and turning for quite awhile.

And when I finally slept, I ended up dreaming. I don’t know whether to consider it a nightmare or what but I know that I was feeling very very tense.

I might be reading too many crime novels recently. Time to change to a different genre for now perhaps.

The dream was a very long-drawn one. It was a homicide scene. Two bodies involved. Chinese men. It was at a HDB block I think, or an apartment building or somewhere with a very large room accessible by various staircases.

The scene was complete with police barricades and tape. There were police technicians milling around, waiting for further instructions. Others were scanning the area for any signs of evidence.

I remember I was the one person at the scene of the crime who was appalled that the bodies weren’t covered up and I went to cover them up with black body bags. Big mistake cos when I went near to do that, I remember being quite horrified at the bloodied and slashed up corpses and the awkward positions they were in. The men had crew cuts and were probably in their 20s or 30s.

And I remember feeling nauseous and choked up by the horrible rich and warm iron-copper smell of the big big pool of blood which had congealed beneath the bodies.

I think I was one of the detectives on duty. I remember trying to console the family members of the two men and carrying a young boy who was the child of one of the victims. The family members were somehow all seated on thick piles of mattresses. Some women were sobbing but most of them were just sitting there looking bewildered and not speaking.

I remember there was another detective who was following me around like a puppy, apparently enamoured with me. He kept saying that he wanted to go home with me and meet my mother.

I cannot remember what else happened after that but I remember running, chasing and being chased along corridors and staircases.

One of those dreams where you’re tensed and on edge all through it.

I woke feeling super uneasy. And I woke up wayyyyy before my alarm sounded again.
Couldn’t get back to sleep after that. Argh.

I miss K :(
*wails*

Anecdote

Three of us brought a new temp out for lunch today. A very young girl. 19 and still studying in poly. It was her first day with us and we were having drinks at Killiney Kopitiam after lunch.

Us: How’s the first day so far? Are you reading up some of the policy documents?
She: Yes, I’m reading. There’s quite abit to read.
Us: Better read properly yah. There’ll be a test for you in the afternoon.

We meant it to be a joke and we were laughing to ourselves…She took it seriously though and asked us…..

She: Will it be an open-book test?
Us: *momentarily stunned*

And then we broke out into peals of laughter…HAHAHAHAHAHA…...

Ah, the innocence of youth.
We did not expect her to ask us that question at all and were caught by surprise. I felt abit bad though because she turned red-faced when we all burst out laughing. Haha. :D

Saturday evening

I had a fruitful (but somewhat lonely) 2.5hours on Saturday evening. I managed to grab a quick dinner, buy a pair of ballerina flats, get a skincare set and also find 3 French storybooks and 2 English books from Kinokuniya.

The book covers have been lovingly wrapped in plastic already. :)
The flats are still sitting in the shoe box awaiting their first day out.
And the skincare set is also still in their packaging….

I told K if this goes on, then he’d better come back to SG soon. Hahaa..

The blues

I feel like throwing a tantrum in office now. Or a “hissy fit” as the Brits call it.

How nice it would be to smash some windows, break the copier machine, spray graffiti on the walls, throw the contents of rubbish bins all over the floor, slash the window blinds, break some chairs, whack the fax machine into submission, punch some people, pluck out the stuffing from the cushion at the main door………

Oh friggin Monday blues.

9/11

I watched a little of a documentary last night.

It was a special feature on phone voicemail recordings which families received from their relatives who were trapped in the twin towers on September 11, 2001.

Eac year for the past nine years, a documentary related to the event is shown on television. Each year I happen to catch several minutes of a documentary programme on the incident. And each time round, the interviews with families and rescue workers alike never fail to make me tear.

I remember the time when it happened. It was late at night and I was in my hostel room. Block 15 of NTU hall 1. Room 226 to be exact.

My TV was on the floor and it was on. I was packing up my room and listening to Channel News Asia. I was soon crouched in front of the TV with my eyes glued to the screen, watching the live footage of the events happening at the site.

I was one of the rare few who had a TV in their room. Before long, neighbours from along my corridoor and even some from downstairs were camped in my room watching the news. The rambunctious atmosphere when you pool a group of young folks together was not there that night for sure.

I digressed.

Anyway.

I guess something so horrific and painful would be remembered for many more years to come, especially by the families of the victims.

My silent regards and best wishes to them. From this corner of the world.

Fleeting thoughts

Little thoughts zipping here and there.
Touch and go. Touch and go.
I can almost see them.
Like little water boatmen.
Skittering across the surface of a small lake.
Leaving silvery tendrils in their wake.
I’ve caught some.
But most have seeped through my fingers.
What I have I share.
In the little snippets that follow.

========
I am not trying to be racist or anything. But I’ve noticed that most Indians, especially those who have studied overseas, are good conversationalists.

========
I am a simple girl with simple needs. I don’t ask for much. Or at least in my opinion I don’t demand for much. So why do I sometimes feel like I’m missing out on something, somewhere somehow.

========
I won’t get to speak to K today. Not until tomorrow morning. It’s been a week. I didn’t realize it. Times does fly past when you occupy yourself with things.

He’s been surviving on bread and pasta and oranges. But he just bought some chicken fillet and chopped bacon. I hope he’s getting enough nutrients.

========
I think I’ve grown more assertive over the years. But it is not enough. And I still feel uncomfortable in being assertive in anyway.

Chloe feels this too.

========
Sometimes, I miss my straight hair. Haha.

========
Kel told me he saw me running yesterday night. Haha. He was in a friend’s car and was going past me. It must have been an unglam sight because I wasn’t doing too good yesterday. Running with a slight diarrhea was definitely not a good idea. I had to stop several times as I felt quite breathless.

========
I want to go home on time today. Granny’s in hospital again. I need to go CGH after work and then see where I can grab some dinner first before going home. Was thinking of hiding in a corner of a café, armed with a plate of steaming hot pasta and my book.

========
It’s a rather cold day. I am wrapped up in a jacket. With the sleeves of another woolen cardigan covering my forearms, and a blanket over my legs. My fingers still feel stiff though.

========
In the little snippets up above.
What I have I’ve shared.
So it’s back to the work and daily grind.
And I do hope functionality engages my mind
For if it is not to be the case
Then I will find myself back in the first space.
Like little water boatmen.
I can almost see them.
Touch and go. Touch and go.
Little thoughts zipping here and there.

It's been 3 days

A shell provides an excellent home for hermit crabs, snails, clams, oysters, abalones, cockles….you get the drift.

I’m retreating into my shell for awhile. K left for Nice 3 days ago and I find myself missing him terribly and wondering if he’s taking good care of himself over there. And…I find myself suddenly with some spare time also.

Spending some time alone for the coming two to three weeks (or maybe even longer) seems like a nice way to take things slow, especially with work being on a ramp-up and possibly being hectic in the next 2-3 months.

Let’s see…..I can…

Read my books. Spend some time wandering in malls with a little bit of shopping thrown in. Run. Skype with K. Sit in a corner of a café reading or observing the world going by. Blog. Do some research for my year-end trip. Visit Kinokuniya and Borders. Take some time to breathe a little slower. Get up to speed on French again. Go for my facial and massage. Take care of my terrariums. Do some art and craft.

Ok, seems like a lot to do already haha. :)

And then after that...I'll probably throw in some meet-ups with close friends. :D Some long overdue dates....haha..

Of Weddings and Funerals

I attended a wedding on Sunday morning and then a wake during the evening.
In less than 3 months, this is the second time it has happened. The first time round I went to both a wedding and a wake on the same day was back in end of May.

Too much going-ons for a single day.

Boredom Breeds Awesomeness

Chloe was bored. So I gave her a task.
I gave her 5 random words. She was to create something out of it. Could be a sentence, could be a ditty, could be a poem.

These were the 5 words: snowman, flower, plastic, ass, tissue

And this was what lovely Chloe came up with.

AWESOME LAH!!!!!

I’m a cute little snowman
Made out of snow
My creator abandoned me
And left me out in the cold
Here I am sneezing away
With a tissue in my hand
Nothing to look forward to
I wish I was someone’s Christmas plan
Where did my creator go?
I am so alone
Asleep I fell as the days came and went
In my dreams, I saw my vengeful self
Chasing my creator to his house
And sticking a stalk of plastic flower up his ass.

Sept 3 - Scrabble Competition

I'm excited.

The last time I played Scrabble competitively was 2 years ago.
I used to play it competitively back in uni and led the Boogle team as well.

3rd September.

There's an inter-house Scrabble competition happening within the organisation. I signed up for it. Yay!

There's a good player in the Black House who was rather cocky the last time we played together in the group playoffs. I won that game and he wasn't very happy about it.

Hope I don't meet him again during this year's competition haha.

Lame attempt at writing Chinese

我今天早上在Promenade Circle Line地铁站看到了一位女生。哦，她好酷！

头发断得像个男孩， 瘦瘦高高，黑色上衣和深灰色裤子， 手上拿着一个黑色的laptop bag。

她走路“有风”，够有帅气！

好酷！

...................

There are people who are your friends and remain your true friends even after a long time has passed. There is an initiative to keep in touch and when contact is there, it’s a genuine one with no motive.

Then there are others who remember you only when they need a favour from you. Are these people still considered friends? Or acquaintances? Or once friend but now acquaintance? Or.......oh nvm.

Point is, don’t come to me only when you need something from me.

Active aging, active learning

K’s mother has a big appetite for learning. I think it’s good and I find it an admirable trait.
I don’t know any other person who has had the tenacity to take up a Masters programme at 50-something years of age.

She’s 60-plus now and is still learning everyday. She volunteers at various social organisations, reads a lot, is proficient enough in using the computer, has taught in a school and also took sewing classes last time. She is currently taking art classes and a separate course on writing a biography as well.

Active aging. It’s good.
Much better than sitting at home and watching Korean dramas or Korean MTVs.

august

This morning, I realized my desk calendar was still showing the month of July.

I flipped the page over to August.

And I saw this phrase on the page for August.

“Fear not the future. Weep not for the past.”

How true.

Though at times, it takes courage, strength and determination to achieve this.

=========

Time has gone by in a jiffy.

I thought I just celebrated Xmas and CNY. And now it's going to be National Day already.

And before you know it, it'll be Xmas time again.

Year after year.

Babe!

I enjoy my MSN conversations with Chloe.

We regale each other with stories, complete with explicit details. We gripe to each other. We listen to each other.

She listens, she understands. :) She dispenses good advice. She is rational and keeps me sane too haha...

And every so often, we have conversations which dissolve us both into maniacal laughter. Virtually that is haha.

I miss you babe!
When was the last we met up? Two years ago?

I will drag you out in time to come.....
In the meantime, till our next conversation....hehe.

My little terrarium

It's almost official.

One of the plants in my terrarium is dying. :(

Checked it this morning and its stem was turning a dull brown-grey. It's being propped up now by a toothpick.

*wails*

Not too sure what went wrong. Either there was too much water, or there was too much direct sunlight??

p/s: Thank you Ally for your very kind offer!! I'm sure your African violets would be happier under your care though haha. Let me figure out what's wrong with my terrarium first before I take on other plants...;p

English Lessons

Yes boss. I will keep it in mind that when I write policy papers...

...I should use the Active Voice and not the Passive Voice.

...and I should put the recommended policy position as the bottomline concluding paragraph.

Lunch Today

I had lunch with a New Zealander today. He could have been my father, given his age of 62 years. In reality, he seems younger and is still very much a go-getter.

We first knew each other in Mexico back in March 2009. Nice guy. No airs. Very easy to talk to. Back then I didn’t even know he was the president of the Internet governing body in New Zealand. He had run out of business cards when I first met him and so it was only very much later that I found out that he was actually holding a high position. We last met in Sydney 2009 at another conference.

This time round he’s here chairing an event and so we decided to catch up. Over a bowl of wanton mee, a plate of chicken rice and two pots of Earl Grey tea haha. He was staying at M Hotel and so I went down to Café 2000, which is located at the hotel itself, to meet him.

Discovered that he’s actually Scottish, holds both a British passport and a New Zealand passport. He speaks Gaelic, a little French, English, Spanish, a little German and has studied Latin before. Gosh, what a linguist. His Dad speaks German, English, Hebrew and Arabic. Wah, another linguist!

All in all, a good catch-up.
My conclusion. Australians and New Zealanders are really quite nice people and are quite easy to get along with. :)

Buy or Sell? Domain Names that is

Some people just trade domain names for a living, some do it on the sidelines.
I didn’t know about all these things before I joined the industry.

But gosh, it can be a lucrative thing. So lucrative they even have brokers to seal the deals. There are also many online auction sites catered for these purposes.

029.com was recently sold for USD$110,000. Underdog.com was sold for about US$62,000. Cured.com was sold for US$25,000.

But these are just small amounts I think.

I’ve heard of bigger price tags on a single domain name, up to US$350,000. If you put it in perspective, that’s like SG$490,000 which is just about the price of a 5-room HDB resale flat in Singapore.

These people who sold the names probably got them at very cheap prices in the early .com days. Registration fees could have been as cheap as US$30-40 a name for a year during the 90s. Keep the name for maybe 10 years and that only puts your total investment at US$400. In return, you could get back more than 50 times your initial investment. The Return on Investment would be more than 100 or 500 times for really sought-after names.

Keeping names for 10 years is just a conservative estimate. With technology these days, the turnaround time is probably much faster at maybe just 2-3 years for some of the popular names. This in turn, would put ROIs at even greater figures.

That much money for something as simple as a domain name.
If this is not lucrative, I don’t know what is. :)

Go figure.

My Own Terrarium

I did it. :)

After reading about terrariums for a few days and thinking about what I could do, I finally went out with K two weekends ago and got myself some plants and cacti, vase, potting soil, peat moss and pebbles which I needed to start one with.

And I made my first terrarium on Sunday 18 July!
I decided on building an open terrarium because it was easier for a beginner to do so.

In that time till now, I’ve bought more things including some activated charcoal, and two more pots of fittonias (one’s pink veined and the other’s white veined, can’t remember their scientific names though haha). All that’s left now is to find a suitable glass container or vase and then I’ll start making my second terrarium already!

Two days ago, I added some decorative seashells to my first terrarium…:) The way I like things, simple, uncluttered but still aesthetically pleasing.

Hmm, maybe I could make a closed terrarium and bring it to office.
Yay! Decorate my table a little…

p/s: I have not been able to find a universally accepted definition of a terrarium. But suffice to say that it is miniature garden landscape designs encased in a container (usually glass) with no drainage systems. Sometimes, animals are also added to terrariums. If so, then they end up being called aquariums (of which we are very familiar with) or vivariums.

Of beauty

The lengths women go to to make themselves look prettier.

My colleague is 44 this year. Looks rather good for her age and still has a good figure too. Divorced with a 16-yr-old son.

I just discovered she spent more than $25,000 a few years ago on veneers for almost her full set of teeth. It costs $1000 per veneer per tooth.

How did I find out?

Um, the veneer covering one of her two front teeth unfortunately dropped out yesterday while she was having her dinner.

She showed me her original tooth this morning. It was small, long, yellow and looked slightly decayed. A total opposite of the beautiful veneers she had and which I initially thought were her real teeth.

And because the original tooth is small, there are gaps between it and the other two veneer-capped teeth on both sides of it.

Gosh.

Apparently she was given a guarantee that the veneers would last 10 years at least. She called up the dentist to complain and she’s going down later during lunch to get a new veneer if possible.

In the meantime, she’s trying not to laugh or smile to hide the strange gap in front.

Interesting.

The amount of money some people would go to to make themselves look better.

She has spent tens of thousands of dollars on body wraps, facials, treatments, acupuncture, tui na massages, laser treatments, pulse light treatments, manicures, pedicures and a whole host of other treatments and packages.

And she's thinking of going for liposuction next year.

My guess is that she’ll be spending more in the years to come. :)

do i lack folic acid?

I read with amusement Chloe's recent post on her lack of ability fo focus.

Partly because it is so her, partly because she has shared other anecdotes with me.

And partly because I'm like that as well at times.

Forgetful and blur. Distracted and fidgety. Absent-minded.
And this multiplies a few-fold when you add in the factor of tiredness or sleepiness.

I brushed my teeth twice on Friday afternoon.

I brushed after lunch, came back to the office and left my toothbrush and toothpaste on the desk.

Was hard at work for the next 2 hours and then when I saw my toothbrush and toothpaste on my desk, I thought I had not brushed my teeth yet. And so I went. Again.

Oh well.

she.

in darkness sat she
solitary
calm
ruminating
everything
nothing
attempting
reflection
achieving
vacuum
faith
presence
hope
force
know
not
things
in
darkness
sat
she

..............

even a rubber band has an elasticity limit

------------------

I do not enjoy
The uncertainty
I do not know if
My melancholy is justified
But my heart does not feel good
My senses do not bode well

Jen

I had dinner with Jenaline the other night. Everytime I see her, I get reminded of the time when we were both hired by our ex-company. I was only 23 then and still clueless about many things in the working world. She on the other hand, was already in the workforce for almost 20 years and had been a high flyer at various MNCs. Needless to say, she was my boss and she took me under her wing.

6-over years have passed, we have both moved on from that company and I am happy we are still in touch. It's always a joy talking to her. I quite admire her openness and ability to talk to people of all ages, backgrounds, professions, etc. Maybe that's one reason why I feel comfortable with her. She has always said that my strength lies in my "ren yuan". My ability to make people feel at ease when I meet them or talk to them. I always tell her maybe she sees me this way because she's the one who is making me feel comfortable around her in the first place.

Anyway as usual, she has encouraged me to strike out on my own. And see if I can put my strengths to good use at the same time haha. So encouraging and enthusiastic haha. :) She said a few things. One of them was that to try and fail and try again is an advantage the young have over the old. Not in her exact words of course. But generally the notion she was trying to put across.

She shared with me some of her own big dreams as well. I think it's good to continue having dreams and aspirations even when you're close to hitting 50. I think it keeps the mind going. And I'm glad she's still got the strength, energy and enthusiasm to run around and get things done. Bravo to her!

Her church service is now held on Thursdays at Suntec. So she said perhaps we'll meet up more often than before given that I work at Suntec as well.

We'll see we'll see. She's a busy bee and I won't hold her to her word hhaa.

?

How does one define success? What makes one succeed? Should one align his definition of success to that of his parents, his friends or even the society at large? When one sticks to his beliefs and preferences, is that determination, perserverance or stubborness? How does one find oneself? How does one see oneself clearly? Does one usually see another more clearly than he does himself? What makes one grow? How does one grow?

Things

The last few weeks were busy.
The next few weeks (and months?) will be busy too.

I can't describe much of my work projects here and anyway, most wouldn't understand also. So anyway, my current personal projects include:

1. Starting a terrarium - I've been quite interested in them since last time. I wanted to try making one myself some years ago but didn't quite get down to it. My interest was piqued again when I saw some terrariums in Amsterdam. So over the last two weeks, I've started doing some simple research on them. :) I've bought two little pots of cacti and a nice simple rectangular glass vase. Looking for some moss and pebbles before I can start designing my terrarium! Hope I can get them next weekend!
2. Finding ways to use my baby gouda cheese - When I was in Amsterdam just 2 weeks ago, I visited a cheese-making factory-cum-retail store. There was a whole array of cheeses available for tasting and I quite liked one of them. It was a 400gm round piece of cheese wraped in red plastic. :) nice taste, not too strong, not too overwhelming for the taste buds. And it was made with young cow's milk, hence the name "Baby Gouda". K is asking me to make cheesy scramble eggs for him. I'm thinking more along the lines of foccacia bread with cheese melts, a sunny-side up egg and maybe some sundried tomato thrown in for an extra zing to the tastebuds. Oh well, maybe we can find some time next weekend to try out some recipes too.
3. Finding the motivation to run - Or rather, finding the motivation to start jogging again. I signed up for the Shape Run on 25 July. I've not run for almost a month. And with less than 3 weeks lft, I think I'm screwed. Either I start my jogging regime again, or I skip the event altogether, which will be a little disappointing actually. Hmmmm......
4. Putting my room together - The renovations ended in mid June. And my room has been bare from then till now. My new furniture will be coming in tomorrow though. And I've instructed my mother how to place the furniture. And then the tedious process of transferring my things from the current room where I'm living in (my brother's room actually) back to my room will start. I've still not gotten a computer and work table. Okok, one thing at a time.....I think this will take awhile to settle.......The nice thing is, I didn't bust my budget of $5k. Actual expenditure currently stands at $2.5K. A proper new roller chair and a computer/work table shouldn't bring it more than $3.2K. Yay!
5. Thinking - There are things I need to think about. Enough said on this.

There are still some other things to do...but one thing at a time I guess.
Otherwise too many things at the same time will mean a very distracted me.

The year so far

The Year of the Tiger has not been good for the Monkey.

Every month, there seems to be something happening which is not right. Regardless of whether they are big or small issues, they still cast a dull spell on things…

I hope the Year of the Rabbit brings with it better things.

sigh

sad.

just got news of 2 people who tendered their resignations already.
one of them's my lunch kaki who has been hanging out with me since when i first joined the company. she just tendered today.

she's leaving very soon after offsetting her leave and all.
her last day's on 23rd july. only 3 weeks more. :(

the other guy's from a department whose director is interested in getting me over to join them.

Of my Chinese

Usually after any ICANN meeting, my Chinese improves a little due to my interaction with the Chinese, Taiwanese and Malaysian people whom I usually hang out with. Apparently such improvements only last for less than 5 days.

I called up a Chinese organization this morning. And my brain can’t seem to process Chinese words today.

I said,

Hello, 我可以跟Wai Heng说话吗？

And immediately after I said it, I felt dumb. Because it sounded so much like the words of a small child.

I should have said this instead!

Hello, 请问Wai Heng在吗？