Jackson

I heard Robbie Williams' "Better Man" on the radio earlier tonight. I love the song for its sincerity and down-to-earth feel. And of course Robbie's voice is just so lovely in this song.

This song never fails to remind me of Jackson as well.

I first met Jackson back in 2004. A long time back come to think of it. We were at a BBQ and at that time, the first Singapore Idol was in its auditions stage. Jackson loved singing and he was keen to participate in the auditions. He wanted to sing "Better Man" for the auditions and gathered a bunch of us together so that he could sing to us and have us critique his singing. For a tall, big and heavy guy, he was quite shy initially as he cleared his throat and prepared to sing. He then stood on a stone bench and sang his heart out.

I remember thinking, his voice was average, just like any other man on the street. But he was eager and earnest and sincere and I gave him brownie points just for those attributes. I kept my comments to myself though for it was only my first time meeting him and I did not want to say anything wrong especially when I had heard some bits of his background.

Jackson went through a hard period sometime back in his life and grew a little mentally unstable as a result. There were times when he would suddenly disappear for a few weeks and we'd hear that he had heard voices in his head and so he took to hiding under a table in the church nearest his home. Or we'd hear that he refused to take his medication and hence his temper became volatile again and he hit his father at home. Stuff like these.

But he was still a good guy at heart. Eager to learn about life and love and people. Sometimes innocent and naive too. He would get all silly and romantic and write poems. He would get philosophical and ask questions that no one found easy to answer like what is love, what do you think love encompasses, what is the most important lesson life has taught you so far, etc...

We got along alright. Whenever we met at gatherings, he'd come greet me enthusiastically. I suspect he had a soft spot for me haha. Sometimes people didn't really talk to him and he'd end up in a corner either drinking or stonigng or staring into space. I would go over to talk to him or keep him company for awhile so he wouldn't feel so left out and I think he appreciated that.

I lost touch with him since early 2009 though. But he was in my Facebook and I'd occassionally see him post a cryptic message or two in his status or he'd post up one of two of his poems.

He suddenly messaged me through Facebook a few days ago. I usually keep myself on an offline status but for some reason that day I accidentally allowed myself to be available for an FB chat and then he messaged me.

He sounded happy and more at peace and I felt happy for him too. He said he no longer hung out with that group of friends and now had a whole new circle of friends. When I asked him why, he said that he had found that he could not really fit in with the old group of friends due to differences in mindsets and values and hence decided to keep away. He found himself a new social circle and was feeling happier with them. He'd also had some of poems published in the newsletter of the rehabilitation centre he was with.

Jackson asked me too, what do you think love is about? I was at work and did not have the bandwidth to mull over such a question. I answered off the top of my head and I told him I thought love was about patience, understanding, compromise and emphathy, amongst other things. He seemed to be satisfied with my reply and agreed with me too haha.

We talked for just a little while more before I had to end the conversation. Before we said our virtual goodbyes, he said he was glad to have known me. I was a sincere and real person he said, not some fake-o with a not-so-good heart. I thought it was sweet of him to make such a comment lol.

Stay happy Jackson. And stay true to yourself and continue doing what you like best.
Take care. :)

Busan Oh Busan!

It was a case of “so near yet so far” and it took us about 14 hours to reach our hotel in Busan. The flight and transit alone took us almost 12 hours.

Busan’s a coastal town and is the second largest city in Korea. We were fortunate to have had the meeting venue situated in a hotel just next to the Haeundae Beach. Haeundae’s pronounced as “Hay-Oon-Day” by the way.

This trip was slightly odd in the sense that I did not have much time to jot down my own personal thoughts for each day. I was just so tired at the end of each day! Haha. Maybe it’s the coastal air.

So I’m sitting here at the Gimhae Airport in Busan, waiting for my flight to Incheon Airport in Seoul. Right now, it’s 28 Aug Sunday, 2:30pm in SG and 3:30pm in Busan.

The People
Korea’s the land of plastic surgery, cosmetics, skincare and lots of pretty people. Everyone’s so well-groomed. So….about the young Korean ladies first. I think my guy friends would have perpetual nosebleeds if they stayed in Korea for a week. The girls were all super fair and slim and made up. BB cream and light natural make up seemed to be the preference with light pink natural lips, straight brows, little to no eyeshadow and some eyeliner. High heels seemed to be the de facto footwear, even to places like the beach. Wonder how they can tahan tottering along the sandy footpaths in heels.

The younger generation males seemed to be almost as fair as the ladies and I think some of them had BB cream on too haha. The older males all had a typical look about them. Hard and harsh faces with small eyes, many frown lines and a generally tough MCP appearance. Old men typically wore berets or little caps and carried walking sticks.

The younger generation wore fashionable outfits. Some others dressed more simply but still looked good! Dashing young men looked dapper in their blazers thrown over white T-shirts and simple capris or pants. And some young girls in primary school already had their hair dyed in varying shades of brown.

Ah Ju Ma
I’m dedicating a separate section to the Ah Ju Mas. :) Simply put, Ahjumas are the “Aunties” of Korea. Those I saw in Busan could be identified by a few distinguishing traits. Short permed hair ending at the ears or slightly after. Baggy pants. Flat canvas shoes. Floral long-sleeved or three-quarter sleeved blouses. Age ranging between 45 to70 perhaps? Anyway, one look and you could tell whether a lady was an ahjuma or not. Put 5 of them together and I think I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between each of them. You’d see these ahjumas in abundance at the market areas, either peddling their wares as vendors or bargaining for better prices as customers or just gossiping with each other.

Language
Most of them couldn’t speak English to save their lives. Each meal time was a challenge to us. We’d point at pictures, play charade with the service staff, draw pictures, mimic animal sounds and do anything we could to communicate what we wanted to order. I thought the hotel staff would be better but some of them had a weak command of English too. Taking cabs was a challenge as well. Thankfully the signages at their subway stations were written in both English and Korean so we could still manage.

Food!!
Spicy. Spicy. Spicy. But I love it, love it, love it! :) Lots of garlic, onions and spring onions are used in Korean cuisine. And that sits down very well with me hehe. I’m a lover of these things. And they eat lots of beef too! I’m a beef lover too. So, yay!

I had a hosted dinner on Thursday night and it was amazing in the sense that they served at least 20-over dishes for that meal. Plates after plates after plates of food were served and we delegates just stared in amazement when the dishes kept on arriving at our tables. What we thought would be the last dish always wasn’t haha. They had the usual preserved vegetables, ginseng porridge, beef patty, grilled saba fish, dried spicy shrimp (much like our heh bee), bean paste rice, mushroom salad, vegetable salad, barbequed pork, kimchi soup, and the list goes on….I went back to my hotel room feeling like a whale.

Over the next few meals, I stuffed myself with barbequed beef and pork wrapped in lovely crisp lettuce leaves, stirfried rice with chicken and octopus, steamed egg in chicken stock, extremely spicy kimchi soup and extremely spicy stir-fried squid, chicken skewers in gongbao style, Korean Hite beer, Korean soju (rice wine), Ferrero Rocher (couldn’t help it, it was selling for only 3 for S$1.70), Hershey’s chocolate milk, Italian risotto…;p *burp*

My dieting plans have obviously gone awry.

Shopping
I went shopping at Nampodong. Fantastic area. Imagine Taiwan’s Ximending, Bangkok’s Chatuchak (though not as cramped and dirty and dusty), Seoul’s Myeongdong and Singapore’s Bugis Village. That’s how Nampodong is. Nampodong’s much much cleaner than Chatuchak haha.

Any self-respecting lady would squeal at the amount of cosmetics and skincare shops they had there. (Although I think Myeongdong in Seoul had more). Saw some shops selling shoes at only 5000won, which is about…*gasp*…..S$5.50.

Other sights
Nampodong was at the base of the Yongdusan Park, which was on a hill. And so I went there as well. Nothing breathtaking though. No real “wow” factor for me. All there was in that park were a few bronze sculptures of dragons and an army general in traditional garb, loads of trees and loads of senior citizens ahha.

I also went to the Jagalchi Fish Market which was located a few streets away from the Nampodong area. Although it was wet and fishy and smelly, the quick walk through that area was interesting because it opened my eyes to strange and apparently edible sea-dwelling creatures.

I saw small live octopuses with heads about as big as a small watermelon. I saw strange eels, some brown, some silvery and others of a beige and pink colour. I saw very strange creatures which looked like sea slugs with blunt thorns. I really can’t imagine people eating all these things. I also saw sea urchins and shellfish of varying shades of brown and green and varying sizes from something as small as a cockle to something as large as the rice plate I have at home.


Ok, I've just finished writing this and it's already 8:45pm SG time and 9:45pm Korean time. I'm already in Seoul, Incheon Airport. Awaiting my flight home to Singapore.

I'm currently chilling in the Business Class lounge, thanks to my boss who signed me in hehe. Comfy sofa chairs with food, snacks and drinks all served buffet style. :) I guess it's times like this when I love my boss hahaha.

Two hours more to kill before I need to go to the boarding area. I think I'll nap here for a little while and then head out for a short walk at the shops. I've spent quite abit on this short trip already...hmm...I forsee more spending in the next few months...*wails*

*deep breath*

patience. highly needed.

tiring to talk to colleagues, who make it a point to argue every single point you say.
think I'll just steer clear. it's still best to hide in my corner and do my own things. shan't say more.

om mani padme hum

.....

Why do I come in at 815am and leave at 6pm or sometimes at 7pm....

While some come in at 930 or 10am and leave at the same time as me or sometimes even earlier than me?

Minuting

Any public service personnel at the managerial level would have gone through the painful task of taking minutes for meetings.

I've done my fair share of it. Too much of it actually.

And this month, I think I've walking around with a huge target board on my ass. I was arrowed for many minuting duties. I had a major meeting on 11 Aug, with smaller ones on 3 and 17 Aug, and my own Board meeting on 15 Aug.

Been spending my days writing minutes and clearing them with the bosses.

Rite of passage for bigger things to come?
Hmm...

The clock is ticking

I've been busy. Quite busy.

With work and personal stuff. I'm half falling asleep in front of the PC, eyes half shut but I'm still waiting for my hair to dry naturally for awhile more before I use my blow-dryer on it. It's amazing how I feel more tired than when I was doing my event back in May/June lol.

Anyway....

I now sport a rock on my left hand. Yes, it's sitting quite happily on the fourth finger. And it blinks at me once in a while when it catches the light. Not bad, makes for quite a cheerful companion. :)

It's got a mind of its own too and runs around the circumference of my finger. The rock's sometimes at the top where it should be, sometimes it's a little to the left or right, sometimes, it's just hiding all the way beneath the top of my finger.

Neeeh. I blame myself for my bad habit of cracking my knuckles and whatever joints that can be cracked or popped. It's resulted in me having big knuckles which are much wider then the rest of my fingers. Hence the "running" around of the rock at the base of my finger.

Anyway...

I think we've accomplished quite abit of things in the last 3 weeks. We have already...

• consulted a geomancer and settled on the special date when I'd legally not be considered a single woman anymore
  
• found ourselves a nice uncle who would preside over the union
  
• almost settled on the special date next year for the traditional ceremony
  
• gotten ourselves a package at one of the shops along Tanjong Pagar
• gotten the old folks and siblings from both sides to meet up
  
• gotten ourselves our union bands (mine comes with a teeny weeny rock!)
  
• cast our net wide to various hotel establishments for the bash next year. site recces are within the week and I think we can make an informed choice on the venue soon

Anyway...

There'll be tons more things to do going forward. I'm mighty grateful to K for his patience and proactive participation in the whole planning process and preparatory work. And of course, having supportive and knowlegeable girlfriends help too haha. :)

*WAILS*

Me: I put on weight liao leh.
Jane: no lah...errr....maybe your backside abit bigger that's all. When you wear jeans I noticed it's a little bigger...
Me: ??!! *WAILS*
Jane: but overall still ok lah...
Me: *WAILS WAILS WAILS*

the greens

I decided to "pull the plug" on one of my terrariums the Saturday just past.

That terrarium was the second one I made about a year ago and was the same terrarium which was almost killed by my mum at the end of last year when I went on a month-long holiday. I had fittonias in there, both green ones and red ones. I guess they were never the same again after that incident.

They were just barely surviving and were in a "going, going, gone" state for the last 3 to 4 months. So I decided to dismantle the whole thing. Maybe I'll make another one again soon.

In the meantime, I still have 3 other terrariums. The original one I made way back in July 2010, another I made at a workshop just 2 months ago and a small little one in a jar I made in September or October last year. But I'll dismantle the jam jar soon too. That one's not doing well and it's rather small so it's difficult to maintain it haha.

The small ficus bonsai I bought a month ago is shedding alot of leaves but is still surviving. I hope I don't kill it....Still trying to figure out the amount of light and water it needs.....

Ok, back to work!

#greenthornyandsmelly

K came over to my place this afternoon and brought 2 styrofoam boxes of durian with him as well. Needless to say the two boxes were meant for my parents. I dislike the fruit and its accompanying smell and he knows it.

I think he meant the durians as a small "bribe" for the folks to hand over their daughter to him willingly lol.

[Post-update] tThe folk have finished both boxes. My dad took 3 pieces and my mum...tsk tsk....gobbled down the rest of the 7 pieces.....

Om Mani Padme Hum

As I grow older, I feel more subdued. Wonder if others feel the same way as they age.

I still need to learn to control my anger though. I can be impatient and I run on a short fuse at times and that is something which needs to be curbed.

To steal the words from a French satirical comedy piece,

“Cool Cool, Calm Calm, Zen Zen”

To remain cool and calm even in the midst of problems and crises requires conscious control. Getting angry wastes energy and is non-productive. I shall endeavour to be more patient and not lose my cool that easily....

More on the mantra Om Mani Padme Hum later...

The F-word

So what new buzz is there now in Singapore? Especially after the Lions beat the Tigers 6-4 on aggregate to advance to the 3rd round of the World Cup qualifiers.

I read with amusement and a little bit of horror about Trinetta Chong, the valedictorian of the 2011 graduating class of NTU's School of Communication. I saw the video of her speech online and I must say, it was quite interesting and I believe it must have also stirred the hearts of her peers sitting in the auditorium that day aplenty.

She ended her speech with a gloriously loud "We fucking did it!!!".

To which factions of the audience cheered and others (no doubt mainly the professors and parents) were flabbergasted at.

Me? I think there is a time and place for everything. Call me a prude. Call me conservative. Call me old-fashioned but I think that a public speech, let alone a valedictory speech, is not the place to use the f-word at. Use it by all means in front of your friends, colleagues, peers, family and what have you but not when you're up on the podium addressing an audience.

There're both positive and negative reactions online now. But I see more support than those against it. Is this is a Gen Y mindset vs Gen X mindset thing?

I wonder what was going in the minds of the professors when she said it. Haha.

We'll walk down this road together

And so the journey of preparations begins. Choices and decisions, discussions and management of expectations, broad concepts and nitty gritty details, hopes and compromises, and the list goes on....

More updates next time? Yes definitely. :)

Of Prayers

I was on leave on Friday and decided to go to the Guanyin temple at Waterloo Street. Just suddenly felt like I've not been there for a long time and hence the visit.

This time felt a little different from the rest of the other times I've been there. I can't put a finger to it but it felt like as if I was less emotional and more at peace. During some of the previous times I went there, I'd sometimes feel like crying or tearing when I prayed. This time round, I didn't feel it.

I went about my routine as per normal, gave my offerings, gave my token, knelt, prayed, got up, knelt, kow-towed somemore and prayed but I didn't get that emotional feeling I felt last time. Don't know why. This time round things felt more right.

Which is a good thing. :)

Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong

When Jacky Cheung came to Singapore for a concert 4 or 5 years ago, I couldn’t make it, for reasons that I cannot remember now. When he came 3 years ago, I couldn’t make it again as I was travelling I think.

And finally this year, the King of Canto and Mandopop is making his way to SG again in August. Fans went wild and within a few days, all tickets were sold out for his 2-night concert. 3 more shows were added and all, if not most tickets were snapped up as well.

TH & I managed to get ourselves tickets for his 28 Aug show. :) We were waiting for so long for him to come back. We were happy larks haha!

And then….

The company now has to send me for a meeting trip to Busan. So as it turns out, after so many years…I am still not fated to go watch his concert. Sigh…:(

Hehe

I reached office at 815am today which is quite usual ever since I started taking a private bus to work.

I am loathe to admit it but I spent the last hour and a half not doing any work at all. Because….I was reading some of my old posts from end 2008 to early 2009 heh.

I always find it very interesting to read my old posts, especially those from that period, simply because I never knew I could write like that.

I read in amazement just now at the thoughts which were penned down and the feelings I was experiencing during those times. I wonder where all those lovely writing juices went to? I certainly hope they’ve not dried up in me!

Efficiency

I wonder how the woman's body evolved to be as such.

Why does the modern day woman menstruate once every 28 - 40 days?

Do you know that the women in some rural tribes in Africa actually menstruate only once every 6 months or only once a year even? Why can't the rest of us women follow such a cycle as well? :(

Why does a woman menstruate? It's the body's way of preparing for the possibility of an egg being fertilised and developing into a zygote and then an embryo. It's just preparing in advance and building up blood linings in the uterus which are rich in oxygen and minerals. JUST IN CASE some eager beaver sperm outswims his peers and hits the jackpot of an egg.

But in the event none of those tadpole-like creatures find the Easter egg, or in the event that there are no sperm present at all to create a miracle, then the body breaks down all that extra blood lining and oxygen-rich wall linings in the uterus and sends it out of the woman's system. Hence the bleeding.

Which is quite inefficient right? Like, hello? I spend time preparing and preparing but nothing comes out of it and so I discard whatever I have built up. Abit waste time right?

Why couldn't the woman's body have evolved in such a way that the uterus builds up its wall linings only at the point when the egg has been fertilised? When the egg has been fertilised, I'm sure the body knows right and then maybe it could have sent some signal to the body that okay, now is the time to store all those minerals and build up those wall linings. There's an egg that needs to be fed and developed. Hurry and go build yourself up now.

Wouldn't it be more efficient this way? Less wastage too right?

Hmm...ok, I'm rambling I know.

The Crabbies

Mr Orange and Mr Grey are a pair of fussy crustaceans. Yeah, considering that they are actually scavengers in the wild, I think they are a little fussy.

They like bean sprouts but they only take it if its steamed and not raw.

They eat lychee but not longan.

They eat cornflakes, the non-sweetended kind, but they don't like non-sweetened oats.

They like rock melon and will fight over it, but they don't like watermelon.

Still, it has been a fun journey of discovery so far, finding out their dietary preferences haha.
I shall experiment more with other types of food...:)

Big Auntie

Big Auntie always chooses the worst days to visit.

She would suddenly show up when I'm overseas, it's happened twice in the last 8 months.
Or she would turn up during the weekend when I want to enjoy myself and relax.

Big Auntie menses is here again. Backache and cramps are starting already.

I think I can still tahan the dinner appointment tonight. But K & I are going to Universal Studios tomorrow. Hope I can survive that!!

In the meantime, I'll continue hugging my water bottle. I just filled it with hot water. :(

#s-u-r-v-i-v-e

Mid-day Rants and Thoughts

• Note to colleague: I should be getting part of your pay for doing your work.


• Why can some people come in at 945am and leave at 6pm? I'm working for 1.5 hours more but getting lesser pay??


• Growing dislike for some colleagues makes me feel like I am turning into a picky and fussy person.


• How to help someone improve if that person always wants to "taiji" or run away from responsibilities? Or if that someone doesn't want to help herself???


• Mondays are not meant for working. I'm surfing for chocolate muffin recipes now.


• Looking forward to 6pm. There's still 4 more hours to go.....zzzz.

*lazy to think of anything*

• Wondering if I should go perm my hair again. At least two ladies have told me that I look better with curls haha...I miss the days of not having to blow dry my hair into a nice shape too.
  


• Heading to Canele for dinner tomorrow. The mains sound interesting when I saw the menu online....hope it meets my expectations!
  


• Some people in my office bunch tire me out. When we don't invite them for gatherings, they say we don't invite them. But when we invite them, they either don't turn up or give half-assed answers like "errr...I may have something on leh...errr..I let you know? err...but I don't like so and so, very boring with her around....errr...I was thinking of going for a photography shoot...errr...." And the most patronising answer of all is always this "If I can make it, I'll go join you." Which in most cases with this bunch of people, usually means "I'll probably won't turn up".
  


• Madonna's "Confessions on the Dancefloor" album is a great album to listen to when you're working hard on drafting a paper. She accompanied me the whole of yesterday. I must have listened to the album at least 3 times over. And I managed to cough up the paper by the end of the day! Yay! All 5 pages of it! hahaha...

Voila!

I love this caricature :D

Conversations - the good, the bad, but no ugly

## CONVERSATION 1 ## the good

Had lunch with a colleague earlier on and we were talking about another colleague.

Lili: Tony loves to eat tow suan! He'll go look for tow suan everywhere he goes! And he especially loves to have tow suan with the fried char kway teow!
Me: Ok, I see.
Me: *thinks* Wait. You mean the fried yew zhar kway, or char kway teow?
Lili: OH!! YEW ZHAR KWAY YA YA YA! The long long fried thing! Hahahahha
Me: Hahahaha...


## CONVERSATION 2 ## the bad

On MSN. One-sided conversation.

JM: So how's things with you?
Me: *ignores*
JM: *after another 10-15minutes* So has he proposed?
Me: *irritation* Why do you keep asking me this every single time??????
JM: Oh have I?
Me: Yes.
JM: sorry, don't be upset lah. Was just being kaypoh.
Me: *ignores* *building irritation*
JM: If you need emcee next time, you can find me, I just did it for a wedding last night.
Me: *ignores* *still building irritation*

Eh??

I always get bruises, scratches or cuts without knowing how they got there.

I did it again last night. I got a 5mm cut on the middle finger of my right hand without knowing how, when or why.

I only noticed it when my middle and fourth fingers were sticky and patchy with blood.

But at least the cut's healing already.

MP as in....

Mushroom Pot.

It's been at least 5 years or more since I the last time I went there. Brought K there just now for dinner. The branch at the Singapore Indoor Stadium.

I loved to bits the wild mushroom soup base. It was so sweet after all the cooking that I actually contemplated asking them whether I could dabao the soup home or not haha... Anyway, for the record, the answer is No. If you're wondering, I didn't ask them. Haha.

It must be the first time ever that I did not really eat much meat at a steamboat meal. It was all vegetables, mushrooms, some pork balls, more vegetables, some liver and 1 piece of beef for me today. Moderation for the sake of achieving some semblance of stability in my moody stomach.

K liked it there. For me, I've always enjoyed the idea of having a steamboat or a mini BBQ between just the two of us. Today's the first time we've actually done it and I pretty much loved it!

Maybe we'll go back there again soon. :)

First Time

And may it be the last...

Mr Orange pinched me just now, and refused to let go. There I was, stuck for a few minutes, with Mr Orange sitting in my left hand and a 3mm portion of the skin of my left palm clenched tightly in his right pincer.

I was rearranging some things in the tank and had to shift him. I couldn't place him anywhere and so I thought I'd just hold him for a little while. Before I knew what was happening, he had already latched onto me.

I stood still and waited, hoping for him to think that nothing was going to happen and so maybe he would let go naturally. That didn't work.

I tried to pry him off but he refused to let go. I hung him upside down but he clung on even harder.

#$#^%&^*^&*

I poured some sand on him but he only retreated further into the crevice of his shell and pulled my skin along with him.

#$#^%$&^%%

I was wondering how long more I'd have to grapple with him when a bulb lit above my head. I'd already tried pouring sand on him. I could try pouring water. Aha! Maybe that would get him to release me. And so armed with the idea, I trudged to the bathroom. And he was still pinching me all the while. By now my skin was starting to throb a little.

I ran the tap on Mr Orange who was still cradled in my left palm.

Voila. The blast of cold water shocked him into action. He loosened his grip (finally) and started scrambling out of his crabby hole, as if to see what was going on outside his sanctuary of a shell.

Poor thing. I hope the chlorine in the water wasn't too strong for him. No choice though, I had no other idea! Anyway, I had to dry him off before I put him back into the tank. And I also gave him half a bean sprout. Food can lift the spirits of some people, hope it can do so for hermit crabs as well.

Tough luck Mr Orange. Hope it wasn't too traumatic a cold bath for you.
May you sleep well later.

In the meantime, I still have a red mark on my left palm. -_-

p/s: While all the drama was unfolding above him, Mr Grey aka Lazy Bum was chilling in a corner of the tank......

That Yearning Feeling

It's been 6 months since I had a real overseas holiday.

And my heart's been wanting to go somewhere....

Work trips don't count because even though I can steal some time here and there for a little shopping and sight-seeing, at the back of my mind, I know that when I go back to my hotel room at night, my laptop and emails are going to be there to greet me.

It's amazing how even a budget airline return ticket to Bangkok can cost about $400 per pax including taxes and fuel surcharge. That's even more expensive than the accomodation which will only be about $300 for 3 nights at my favourite hotel, the Baiyoke Sky hotel (which is situated just above the Pratunam Wholesale market and is a stone's throw away from Platinum mall).

Maybe I should just consider heading to Malaysia or Batam or Bintan. But it's boring...

Or maybe I should just sign up for all the discount websites out there now...Groupon, AtCrazy, Deals, Gobbler...and wait for a good deal to come up.

Enough of dreaming...:(
*back to work*

Birdie Time

Upcoming trips...hmm.

Busan, Korea - August
Dakar, Senegal - October
Hong Kong - November!!

Not sure if I need to undergo any immunisation jabs again for the Sengal trip....:(
Will need to check the Communicable Disease Centre website....

Looking forward to the Hong Kong trip with K :)

Nom Nom

Been quite awhile since the last time my stomach "spoiled" in protest of the incessant amounts of food and drinks I've stuffed it with. Guess I've not kept my gluttony in check for a long time...hmm.

I didn't have much carbo the entire day yesterday. Lunch was yong tau foo soup and dinner was a few mouthfuls of my mum's chicken rice and 2 small pieces of chicken with loads of vegetables. The indigestion and bloatedness subsided a little because of the limited intake of food.

Good.

And the slight diarrhoea cleared up after I popped a pill in the morning.

Good.

Today shall be a day of little carbo and light foods as well.
En route to a better stomach and (hopefully) some kilos off! Haha...:)

Stomach spoil again

Woke at 430am with a terrible tummyache. Sat in the washroom for awhile, got rid of whatever gunk there was in me and went back to bed, only to get up about 15minutes later again.

Made a second trip to the toilet and sat on the throne for a few more minutes. Didn't know there was so much of it in me??!!

Teetered back to my room and by then it was 5am.....zzzz. Was tossing a little but I managed to get back to sleep, albeit for less than an hour only before my alarm went off.

Tummy's still not doing good now. I can feel it churning and I'm feeling bloated. :(
Maybe I should pop the pills I had from last week's visit to the doc.

Wonder if this has anything to do with the chicken wings I had from last night's dinner. :(((

"Sync in Progress"

That's what my phone has been showing for the last 20-odd minutes.

I'll admit this. I have been lazy. I've not synced my Iphone for a loooooooong time.
And when I'm trying to do it now, it's taking helluva long time to sync up properly to my PC.

It's been at Step 1 of 4 for the longest time. I'm already falling asleep here.
I think I'll go and bathe now and just let it sync on its own sweet time.

Things are Just Not the Same Anymore

Sigh
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Enough Said.
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The standard of the Bak Chor Mee and Chicken Wings at Bedok Block 85 Market has gone downhill.
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I was craving for these things but when the food came, it was a little disappointing.
It wasn't as nice as before. As K put it...."things are just not the same anymore"...

Crabby Update

The crabs are doing okay I think. They're not as active as they were on their first two days in the new tank though. Maybe they've settled down already. Some things I've noticed so far:

• Mr Grey (or LazyBum as my mum calls him) is more timid compared to Mr Orange. He doesn't venture out of his shell to walk around that much.
  


• BUT, Mr Grey's much more motivated by food and water than Mr Orange. Put in a new type of food and he'll be the first one at the food bowl. Mr Orange will still be stoning somewhere else in the cage. Mr Grey's also the one to be drinking from the saltwater bowl more often.
  


• Mr Orange seems to be much more subdued now. During the initial two days, he was climbing here and there, digging here and there, irritating Mr Grey by climbing on him, irritating me by scratching against the corner of the tank, so on and so forth....But he's quietened down alot and spends more of his time hiding in his shell now.....
  


• Hermit crabs are scavengers in the wild and I read online that because of that, you need to include a variety of other foods in their diet, apart from their usual dry food pellets. And so....I gave them lettuce and bean sprouts yesterday. They really did eat the vegetables! :)
  


• They like digging. After I change their fresh and saltwater bowls and smoothen down the sand a little, by the next morning, the sand's a mess again. My mum calls them "Naughty Crabs"

I think, if I've the time, I'll create a special playpen for them, something separate from their tank. Perhaps I'll use a cardboard box and in that box, I'll give them some obstacles and maybe some food too. No water though, lest they spill everything and wet the box.

Read online that we need to give them baths too. Dunk them under running lukewarm water for awhile. Either that or dunk them in a bowl of dechlorinated lukewarm water. You can add salt if you want to as well. Will try this in the next few weeks maybe.

And I thought they'll be easier to care for compared to hamsters....hmm. Seems to be more effort now haha....

Aging?

Having a bad right shoulder since 2 days ago. Feel like I’m physically falling apart. I can't roll my shoulder forwards or backwards without feeling anything.

I may need to schedule a session with my masseuse very soon…:(

Random

5 words/phrases off the top of my head right now:

1. negotiation


2. things to do


3. lunch


4. running


5. vacation

5 songs off the top of my head now:

1. Everything - Wang Lee Hom


2. 晚安 - 林宥嘉


3. To Kill a Mockingbird - Eminem


4. Home - Michael Buble


5. Dang Dong Ye Jian Nuan - Sun Yan Zi

Lessons

Overheard a conversation between a Chinese mum and here daughter yesterday in the washroom of Tampines One.

Daughter: Why so small one?
Mum: No, you should say this: Why this is so small?
Daughter: Orh. Why this is so small?


Hmm. Why this is so small?

Why is this so small? Hmm........lessons for both?

*cringe*

I did a presentation last week to an international group of about 150 pax. I'm not a good presenter and I hate public speaking, what more to an international audience.

They did a live recording of the entire meeting and I just listened to my audio segment.

Eeeeew. I hate listening to myself. *cringe*

There are many many areas of improvement needed. Let's start with a good point first. I was concise and clear on the points I wanted to highlight to the audience. And I kept my responses to questions short and sweet.

Minus points. I kept saying "ok" or "k". Every sentence seemed to be punctuated with it. :(
After every slide change I also said "ok", before launching into the points I wanted to say.

I said alot of "ums" as well...I use these fillers alot when I am thinking about what to say next or when I am trying to slow myself down and talk audibly and not rattle off like a train. It showed up ALOT during my presentation. So my whole presentation had lots of "oks" and "ums" or "uhs".

And I forgot to thank the people who asked questions! Not politically correct haha.

I hope I can bear these in mind if I need to present next time again......

Cold and Uncomfy

@$#%&*^*%#$&W%^%

Just spilled water on myself. On my crotch area to be exact. Now I've got soggy damp jeans and semi-damp undies.

Feeling cold down there. :(

Oh well, looking on the brighter side, at least it wasn't coffee or tea or milo I spilled. :)

We go back a long way

I was at the doctor's 2 nights ago because I was having slight diarrhoea. The same nurse has been working there since forever. There are always two nurses on duty at the counter. I've seen others come and go for the other nurse position but she's the only nurse who's been there all the time.

When I went there and said my name (sans family name) and block number, she could tell me my surname. Wow. She could even tell me my own unit number. IMPRESSIVE. I was silently doing a "FWAH!" in my mind haha.

And then she took out my case file, or rather, it was a thick wad of white cards all stapled together. I happened to see the first card and the stamped date of the very first time I went to that clinic.

It said 15-March-1986.

WAH.

I've been seeing this doctor since I was 5 and a half years old. I'm 30 and a half now.
I've been seeing him for 25 years?! That's a quarter of a century and three-quarters of my life!

From when I couldn't see over the counter to when I am now towering way above the counter top!

We go back a long way Dr Yao. I wonder how much you've earned from me and my parents in all these years? Lol.

Of Sticks and Balls

I had the strangest request this afternoon. A colleague called me....

Aaron: Do you play pool? Do you know how to play pool?
Me: Errr, I don't really play it. I can hit the ball but I won't know where it goes.
Aaron: Ah?? You're so jialat meh? You look like you can play!
Me: Errrr....really? Err...thanks. Why are you asking anyway?
Aaron: We're missing a player for the inter-division pool challenge and thought to ask you to join our team. I think it's ok then. Bye.
Me: Errr...ok, sorry, bye!

danny-boy

Looking forward to meeting Dan and YL tomorrow night for dinner.

It's been ages since we last caught up with each other and I've also been putting off meeting up with him because of my recent busy schedule.

K & I are meeting them at Vivocity and we decided to try out this place called The Cellar Door at Level 1. Hope we made a good choice!!

Updates after tomorrow's gathering! :)

scared scared

I had a scary dream last night. I guess it could be considered a nightmare except that I didn't wake drenched in sweat nor screaming in horror. But thinking about the dream now makes me shudder at the creepiness of it all.

I dreamt I was possessed but didn't know it. I was at someplace with a female colleague and a male colleague. The lady colleague's face was a blur but the male colleague turned out to be HC. Anyway, we were talking and then suddenly I felt uneasy. HC, being a devout Christian, felt that something sinister was stirring within me.

The next moment, I sort of collapsed to the ground in sweat but was still conscious and fully aware of my environment. HC proceeded to mutter some prayers and conducted an "on-the-spot" cleansing or exorcism of some sort. I remember his voice rang out clearly in my mind and asked me to stay strong and focused. The mind of me in the dream I mean.

The lady colleague was cradling me in her arms. I remember it didn't feel too comfortable though haha. HC continued with his healing and cleansing.......

And then, the dream ended. I don't know what happened to me thereafter.....

But eeew, the hairs on my arms are standing on end. I don't like creepy dreams. :(

a state of being

I am by nature a pessimistic, melancholic person. Moodiness is not a cloak I wear all the time but when it arrives, it usually hits full force and I feel like my mind is an epicenter setting off waves of tumultuous angry ripples throughout myself.

Negativity sometimes seems to ooze from my pores.

I have mellowed though, over the years. Or so I would like to believe. Guided by others who seem to be able to take things easy in a better way.

Still, from time to time, it gets to me. Like a week or two earlier when I found myself crying in my room late at night. It felt good though, in a strange way, to have my chest heave with sobs and my eyes get puffy and my nose get runny. Perhaps it really is alright to let things out once in a while. Clears the system maybe.

Tonight is another such night. No tears though, or yet. Just a general feeling of morosity and sadness. Sadness at the realisation that maybe it's been quite awhile since I felt truly _____.

Admiration

Chloe writes beautifully and I wonder how she does it. It seems so effortless for her to string up words together in a wonderful manner and weave them into even lovelier heartfelt passages.

Maybe I should take writing lessons from her. :)

worry

• brain
• eyes
• skin
• teeth
• heart
• fingernail

Apart from the fact that these are all part of a human being's anatomy, there is another commonality amongst the 6 items listed above.

They have all brought me, in one way or another, much cause for concern. Some way more than others, but at the end of the day, it is still worry on the plate for me.

Crabby!!

I've got new pets. Again. :)

A month ago I bought a mini self-sufficient tank which contained 4 micro-mini looking volcanic shrimps. The tank requires minimal care and can be used as a decorative item.

Earlier this afternoon, K & I went to get another tank. We also bought sand substrate, saltwater and special feed. Hehe.....and we got ourselves 2 hermit crabs! :)

I've named one of them as Mr Orange as he's got an orange-tinged pincer and his front two feeler-like antennaes are orange in colour too. The other crab's a dark drab grey with blue-hued pincers. K's supposed to name him and he chose the name Mr Grey. How innovative. He copied me. -_-

Anyway, my dad welcomed the idea of having them as pets. My mum said I was mad and complained about me cluttering up the house with my plants, my shrimp and now this hermit crab tank. Lol...she warned me to stop buying these "things" anymore and nagged about having to help me clean and wipe these "things".

Hmm. Anyway, I think she'll warm up to the crabs. I just need to give her more time. Though she nagged, she was still quite curious about the crabs and was trying to see how they crawled around and how they drank water. :)

Right now the tank's kinda empty with just a bowl of plain water, a bowl of saltwater and a bowl of their dry food pellets. I should look into getting some decorative items soon....for the tank to look less drab and for the crabbies to play around with. :)

The WTO

I was at a function organised by the Singapore Tourism Board yesterday. I was recruited as one of their Conference Ambassadors last year and it was my first time attending a networking event for some of the Ambassadors. Cocktail was held at the ION Sky with some presentations and business stuff going on. Dinner was then held at the Salt Grill and Bar just a floor below.

I did feel a little out of place but during dinner, I found myself seated at a table where there was a very interesting old man. He's in his 50s, talks alot and is so full of energy, passion and enthusiasm I'd seem like a fused lightbulb next to him.

He's none other than Jack Sim, founder of the World Toilet Organisation (WTO).

He seems to have dabbled in anything and everything! Businesses in roof tiles, floor tiles, ballroom partitions, office partitions, etc. He even started the Australian International School and sold it off for a handsome profit some years back. And now he's championing the right to have good, clean toilets everywhere in the world.

It's something to be proud off actually, an organisation started in Singapore but which has spawned off many similar organisations around the world. I didn't know but apparently there's a World Toilet Summit which has been taking place annually since 2004 or 2005. Different countries host it each time.

Mr Sim was rolling off nuggets of "wise words" off his tongue every few minutes. Lol, there were so many I only managed to catch and remember a few:

• We buy the things we don't need, with the money we don't have, to impress the people we don't like. Where's the joy in that? Why get caught up in it?


• What counts cannot be counted. Our kids have been taught in school about grades and marks and competition. They don't know anything about love, courage, compassion, filial piety, graciousness......


• People need to know that life is simple. Why makes things so complex and difficult? Live simply, eat simply. Treat each other well. Everybody is happy.


• How to succeed in business? You must know how to laugh at yourself. Get others to laugh with you too. Once they do that, they'll listen to you.

It's really fun meeting people like that. :)

Meeting people

One thing I like about this job is that it gives me the opportunity to meet new people. I've had the chance to meet people of different nationalities. Some are just one-off meetings, while some have developed into friendships. At the recent event, I met some of the following new people who left an impression on me. I wonder how many will end up just being one-off meetings....my guess is probably 80% haha.

1. Antoinette - a lawyer-cum-business consultant from the Virgin Islands. Looked harsh and fierce but she turned out to be a really nice lady who gave me a huge bear hug at one of the social events.


2. Tobias - a Norwegian guy who reminded me a little of Tom Cruise, though taller haha.


3. Marcus - a German who grew up in South Africa and has been based in Zurich for the last 12 years. He speaks German, Dutch (learned from his aunt), Afrikaans, English and can understand French. Together with Tobias above, we had interesting conversations about food in Singapore, housing in our respective countries, climates, working environments, etc....


4. Dejan - a legal affairs manager from Serbia, who was nice enough to strike up a conversation and when he found me standing alone at a function. I was trying to "siam" and stone in one corner actually hahha.


5. Intan - the boss of one of the Malaysian organisations. Small-sized but spunky. Very energetic and has a great sense of humour, maybe that's why she still looks so young, despite being a mother of four!

Conversation with Granny

Saturday afternoon. As usual, my Dad & I were visiting my Granny. We saw a lady who was on the heavy side walking past us. When she was gone.....

Dad: (to Gran) That lady was fat right?
Gran: Yeah, she was. She was fat.
Me: (points to self and asked Gran) Then me leh?? (does the hand action showing a shapely woman)
Gran: You?? You ah, you're like a cicak kering. HAHA.
Dad: HAHAHAHAH.
Me: -_- ''


For the uninitiated, cicak kering means "dried lizard" in Malay.
I've never been compared to a housepest before. -_- ''

mon bebe

I've not had the chance to announce this. But...K is back from Nice. :)

not fatter, not thinner.
not taller, not shorter.

just that some muscles are smaller now haha.
Oh yes, and his appetite's smaller too. ;p

back in action

I know I've been away from here. :) Both K & Chloe told me so. Strangely, I didn't actually realise that I'd stopped blogging till they told me haha.

Anyway, yes, I have been busy. Very busy. Due to an event that I had a hand in bringing into Singapore. It was on-going from 19 - 24 June and ended on Friday.

And I had another event to attend from 16 - 17 June. And I had a press announcement for one of my projects on 15 June.

The past week was tiring, waking up early to attend the confernce sessions, saying hello to people, having to smile and entertain even if you're tired, small talk, discussions, and more social functions and entertaining to do in the evenings and at night.

Chin up girl

Not doing too good today. Foul mood, high-strung, deadlines, tired and a little emo.

Everything - Wang Lee Hom

Bummer. Can't share the video. nevermind, I;ll just share the lyrics then...

Everything

故事裡的 起承轉合 有一些忘記
做了多少錯誤的選擇

原來波折 才暗示著 該走的方向
指引你我來到這一刻

就算 別人都說 我們沒什麼出息
不可能會這樣輕易放棄

Cause You're My Everything
就一個原因 讓我勇敢面對這個世界
想給你 Everything
不管用多少個明天 永遠從此刻開始算起
你的愛是我的 Everything

遼闊天際 求和相遇 有多少機率
多少煙火 墜落無痕跡

因為幸福 沒有捷徑 難免要繞道
不被看好 越是要走到

就算別人都說 我們沒什麼出息
不可能會這樣輕易放棄

你就是 Everything
就這個原因 讓我勇敢面對這個世界
想給你 Everything
隻要你說一聲願意 所有的未來才有意義
你的愛是我的 Everything

Cause You're My Everything
就這個原因 讓我勇敢面對這個世界
想給你 Everything
不管用多少個明天 永遠從此刻開始算起

你就是 Everything
就如這個原因 我會永遠記住這種感覺
想給你 Everything
隻要你說一聲願意 所有的未來才有意義
你的愛是我的 Everything

生活 la vie

一个简单平凡的生活
une vie simple

真有那么难吗？
est-ce que vraiment si difficile?

我不明白
Je ne comprends pas

为什么不能是直接和容易的事?
pour quoi les choses ne peuvent pas direct et facile?

对我说, 年纪越大, 生活较为复杂
plus je vieillis, plus compliquée la vie me semble

sat & sun

The weekend has come and gone.

Saturday early afternoon was spent visiting Granny as usual. Hung around on my own for quit awhile before PQ fnally got back to me about where and what time to meet. Sigh. Met up with her and then took a cab to Ally's place.

Kyler has grown so much bigger since 2 months ago when I last saw him! Haha, so much chubbier and he's much more fun to play with now. He's making so much more sounds and noises compared to last time. Plus his motor skills are slowly improving and he's learning to grab and hold onto things. I was unfortunately pinched by him a few times....bleah. Oh ya, he slathered me with his saliva too lol. Managed to play a little with Happy too. :)

So after Ally's place, PQ & I went over to Cafe Iguana to meet up with Parwin. Just us 3 ladies eating, talking, drinking. It was a nice, cosy affair.

Meeting these gals again this coming Saturday. We're gonna choose our bridesmaid dresses!!


Had Sunday brunch with Mei, Marc & my parents since Adrian was out of town. Walked a little after that before heading home. Well, more like they went home and I went to buy my tank. Remember the self-sustaining tank containing volcanic shrimps I talked about earlier? Voila, I bought it just now. :)

So now I have new pets, who only require feeding only once a week or once every fornight. In fact, they'll still survive even if you don't feed them for more than 2 months according to the shopkeeper.

The whle of Sunday afternoon was spent entertaining guests. Because of my Dad's recent health condition (he's not been feeling too good), my Mum's relatives came to visit today. I'd actually rather have spent my time napping or going for a jog than participating in their small talk.....But oh well.......

And now I don't feel like sleeping...Because when I wake up....
It'll be Monday again.....:(

On Edge

Frowning
Tight lips
Tense shoulders
Heavy chest
Increasing irritation and impatience with colleagues.

RANT POST

Am upset with 2 colleagues. We are at a crucial time now before the event in June.

Colleague 1 is a part of this and has gone on course for these 2 days when something urgent needs his attention. He is a part of another of my project which is going to be launched in June as well. And he owes me a MAJOR portion. And now he’s disappeared from office. WTH?????

Colleague 2 is assisting me on settling some things. She’s gone on leave and is also attending a course. Will be gone for a whole week. And threw everything onto me. WTH??????

My plate’s overflowing and now I need to cover these two??? WTH??????????

F(ed) up.
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An oh yes. Colleague 3 comes in at 945am, has a 2-hour lunch and leaves on the dot at 6pm. I come in 1.5hrs earlier, take a quick lunch and go home after him. Eeeeeee not fair!

the day in points

• Preggy the Tabby seems to be putting on some weight. Her tummy's getting bigger too I think. I went downstairs to feed her after my run earlier on. What's on the menu? Whiskas' Sardine & Tuna flakes. I think, can't remember haha. This is the second time I am feeding her. Am wondering if I should get some more cat food for her or not.
  

• The day was arduous. I had writer's block, in addition to working block, in addition to thinking block, in addition to .....One word, UNPRODUCTIVE. Wasn't in the right frame of mind, I felt like surfing the Internet and playing more than anything. Could be the late night I had yesterday. Anyway, will try to sleep earlier today so I can be an industrious bee tomorrow and clear many many things.
  

• Skyped with K on the phone in the afternoon. He's in Estonia now and had roasted wild boar for one of his meals yesterday. I also want!! I wanna be overseas now too!!! Surprisingly, his WIFI connection was excellent. We had zero interferance and the line was smooth and steady throughout our conversation. I hope the volcanic ash situation doesn't affect his travels. Muacks baby...
  

• Had lunch with TH. Always nice to gossip and catch up and......talk about his new relationship hehe. :D
  

• At the shrimp shop I was at earlier this evening, the owner and his son were talking to me. Junior was quite tall and good-looking, maybe in his early to mid twenties. He spoke well too. (No, I am not a cougar.) Senior was quit tall too. A nice man but when he came forward and bent down to speak to me....all I had eyes for.......was an exceedingly huge whitehead on the side of his nose. All I could think of was to wrestle him to the ground, and squeeze out whatever it was in that whitehead. I'm still thinking about it now. If that whitehead had been on K instead.....hmm....

• For the first time in my entire working life, I drafted a speech for a Minister. It's for my major event in June. Ok lah, I came up with the first draft. It'll probably and eventually get amended and red-lined by the big big bosses till it looks nothing like the original draft. BUT EH, it is still not easy to come out with the first draft okay. I racked my brains for a good few days trying to cough that 4 page draft out, finally handed it in today and itll go up to the CEO soon. The shitty thing is, I have another speech to draft, for another VIP but of a lower level. Sigh...

• Made a 10-minute call at 8pm just now to a person in New York to discuss some work issues. Yes, it's for the June event again. I wonder how much that call will cost me. A 7-minute call cost me $40 last time but I can't remember which country that was. Hope I can claim this call....
  

• I am sitting here in my stinking running attire but for some strange reason, I have no desire to shower. Hope I'm not morphing into a slob.
  

A Prawny Affair

I ran and ran, walked and walked, ran and walked. I ended up taking a detour to explore new territories and running routes and suddenly an idea hit me. I had wanted to find a shop for the last month or so but didn't really get down to it. And so, I ran round a small part of the Tampines estate trying to find it. Turned out it was relatively easy to find. :)

CRS Haven is a specialty store selling shrimps. Yup, small little shrimps that you rear as pets, definitely not to end up as "heh bee" in your glutinous rice dumpling or what. Here's their site --> www.crshaven.com

They have this special tank about 15-18cm tall, 8-10cm lengthwise and 7-8cm wide. some are cylindrical but of similar width and height. Each of these tanks houses about 3 or 4 volcanic shrimps which are pale orange in colour. Each tank also contains substrate, decorative items for the shrimps to cling onto or hide under, and about 2-3 small balls of algae as food for the shrimps.

This tank apparently requires very low maintenance. You technically don't need to feed the shrimps as they can last for months and years (or so the brochure says) feeding off the algae balls and the other microscopic materials in the specially treated water. But if you want them to be healthier, you can supplement their food source with one food pellet per week.

I saw the pellets. They are exceedingly small with each being less than 1mm in diameter. It's amazing how much (or little) these shrimps eat!

So anyway, these tanks can be placed in an office environment as well, just out of direct sunlight.

I want to buy a tank for myself. :) Something else to care for in addition to my plants and (occassionally) the pregnant tabby below my block.

The tanks I like are about $78 each. Will pop by there one of these days or maybe over the weekend. Whee!

Itsy Bitsy Stuff

• I want to watch Fast 5, Pirates and Kungfu Panda 2....
• I want to watch DrumTao, a Japanese performance in early September, involving taiku drummers who are trained in martial arts also. Would be a nice one I think.
• I want to watch Jump, a Korean comedy featuring performers who are trained in martial arts as well and who combine their skills with comedic timing to put forth a fun-filled skit.
• I did what I've wanted to do for a long time. I got myself a digital weighing scale. And no, I did not like what I saw when I first stepped onto it after I got it started up. :(
• My hands are itchy and I feel like colouring my hair again, a lighter shade of brown.
  
• On another type of itchiness....I feel like going shopping again...
• And still on itchiness...I got myself non-scented liners...and I'm glad the itchiness has abated...
• I want to visit Bhutan, Nepal, the Silk Road, Tibet, Lombok, Boracay, the savannah plains, Prague, Scotland, Ireland, more of France, New Zealand, more of Australia, Mauritius, Maldives, New York, Borobudur, Egypt, Bali, Japan, more of Korea, more of Spain, Portugal, Morocco, Turkey, more of Vietnam....oh and the list goes on. I travelled quite abit over the last two years...and now I am yearning to go somewhere...:( There'll be a HK trip in November but it's only for 3D2N, hardly enough and it's still half a year away...I want to go somewhere in July or August!!!!! And another trip in Sept or October!!!
  

Wardrobe Malfunction

Was just done with peeing. Zipped up my pants and....

WTH?!!!

I found my hand going way above where the zipper should have stopped and the whole zip head was in my hand. I tried frantically to put it back along the zip teeth but then discovered that it had already broken into two.

Woe is me.

Had to go ask around for a safety pin to hold my pants up in place. Thank god I always refer wearing long tops that go way way past my waist and end at the hips or lower.

It's my fav pair of pants!!! Hope it can be saved by a seamstress or something....:(

....

I'm a simple girl who just wants a simple life. Why does it seem difficult to achieve?

Rat Race

The days have been hectic and I find myself looking forward to 6pm everyday working day when I can officially knock off. Things have been a blur with deadlines being yesterday, different aspects of one project all looming up at the same time, staff bothering you with meaningless questions, bosses bothering you with high-level questions that make you squirm in your seat feeling like a small child, and so on.

There has been times when I found myself staring at the computer screen, suddenly at a loss and wondering what I was supposed to do next. And other times when I found myself holding my breath for no rhyme or reason. These days all I want to do when I get home is to skype with K and then crash into bed.

I feel like a lab rat running on a wheel. I just know to keep going forward. Is this good or bad? I don't know.

KPIs and indices mark our daily lives. So many comparisons, so much competition, so many report cards. Both tangible and intangible ones. Both conspicuous and discreet ones. Both work and societal ones.

How much are you earning? Which school did you study at? Are you planning to further your studies? Where are you working at? What is your designation? Are you married? When are you settling down? What phone are you using? What performance grade did you get this year? How many months of bonus did you get? Do you drive?

As a friend once put it, it's like a race but without the literal sweat, pumping heart and heavy breathing. For me, it's a constant tight feeling in the chest. And a bubble of impulse to drop everything and go away.

How nice it would be though, if we could press CTRL + ALT + DEL and reboot our lives whenever we find it tough to keep going.

tick tock

I am scared of losing time too quickly.

Living paycheck by paycheck, dinner by dinner, gathering by gathering, it bothers me how days, weeks, months and years have inexorably passed by. I'm at a point in time when I look back and wonder what have I achieved, what have I seen in my life, what have I done in my life.

The C-hole

Aka Chloe.

Love you babe! I had a good time last night...:)

We were at Chili's at Resorts World Sentosa having dinner just generally gorging ourselves and talking ourselves silly. From gossips to politics to general trivia. And yes, she bullied me again. 'Suaned' me several times. Woe is me.

May our friendship stay strong!

The Greens

I might be labelled as a plant killer soon. :(

Two pots of African violets inherited from a colleague of mine are not doing good at all. They may have been too used to an air-con environment. They started wilting the moment I brought them home. And after the recent heatwave across Singapore, they are wilting even more. I've pruned off the dead leaves last week and yesterday, I discovered there were more discoloured leaves. Jialat...:(

A pot of African violets that I bought myself seems to be doing fine though, since I shifted it into my room. I'm sleeping with the air-con on at night these days and maybe it likes the cooler environment. The pot Ally gave me is doing fine too, especially after I gave it a nice pruning 2 weeks ago.

My fittonias are not doing good. Limp and draggly. Only two pots seem to be going strong with the leaves being deep-coloured and firm with clean and clear vein lines. The other two pots look lacklustre and are nodding off into the soil...:(

Another two indoor plants are doing good so far, growing out roots everywhere and reaching out to the sun.

I've signed up for a half day workshop at the Hort Park on the 3rd of June. It'll be a session on caring for epiphytes, or "air-plants". I'll get my own airplant after the session too. Yay, it's going to be an interesting workshop! Looking forward to it!

The Folks

It is at times like this when it hits me. That I've grown older and so have my parents.

I guess, they are no longer as fit as they once were. A simple cough can take months to recover from and you start seeing them get all kinds of ailments like breathlessness, coughing, excess fluid in the ear, kidney stones, lung infections, eczema, nasal insensitivity, blood in the stool, etc....

I find myself getting impatient when my mother complains to me sometimes about these things and about their medical check-ups. I brush her off at other times. And then at night, when I'm alone in my room, I'd feel guilty for not having been more patient.

I still get impatient with them but I'm trying to rein it in. I'm also making a conscious effort to set aside time with them as well. A 5 or 10-minute talk everyday is better than none at all. A sit-down meal with them at least 2-3 times a week is better than none at all. An occassional outing is better than none at all.

Tree-vee-ah

1. 
   
   I saw Preggy the Tabby again yesterday evening. Played with her for awhile before heading up to my flat. She started purring when I scratched her below her chin. So cute la. A very affectionate and vocal cat. She would make meowing noises when she lokos at you or when you say hello to her. Or maybe she recognized me as the one who fed her nice cat food ahha. :) Let’s see if I’ll see her again tonight.


2. 
   
   I took a normal bus home yesterday after The Coll dragged me into a discussion at 6-plus and made me miss my express bus. Bus 10 took 1.5hours to reach Tampines Interchange. I was squirming in my seat after an hour as it was quite uncomfortable. Legs couldn’t stretch too much and my bum was numb (hey it rhymes!) too because the seat had limited cushioning. But yeah I’m still thankful I had a seat. Lots of others were standing for a long time. I really salute the daily bus commuters who need to spend an hour or more on the bus to get to and from their workplace each day.


3. 
   
   My mum boiled chicken and bird’s nest last evening for my dad & I. *touched*


4. 
   
   Today shall be a productive day! Or at least I will strive to make it so! This mini post is just a breather from the daily grind hor!!! Don't start pointing fingers at me! Lol......tata, off to work.

He Says She Says

Too many cooks spoil the broth. Too many strong-headed people in a single team with each insisting on their own ideas and interpretation of things. I get frustrated at times, especially when I see things done in a possibly wrong manner, when things lose focus or when people add too much salt & pepper to other people’s projects. I wonder how my boss handles it, hearing so many different points of view in a single team meeting and needing to manage them all.

(Bimbo moment: Is that why my boss is so wrinkly? Hmm.)

Trivia

1. I recently befriended a pregnant stray cat below my block. And so I carried a can of cat food in my bag today. Whiskas' sardine with prawn and sotong. When I reached my block after work, that cat was there cleaning itself and so I fed it. :) Imagine me squatting in my work clothes and heels, scooping out food at a void deck for a cat.


2. There's work to be done and completed. BUT because of my far-off work location now, I REFUSE to work over-time. Plus, I've an express bus to catch. 30E operates in a funny way, it only has 5 timings between 545pm to 636pm at the PSA building bus-stop. So if I want to get home in the most efficient way possible, I need to catch that bus which will bring me to Eunos MRT station. And so, that's another reason why I don't want to work over-time. :)


3. I'm on a desperate mission to save alot of plants in my home. I know I don't have green fingers....but why are my fittonias suddenly turning limp on me when they've been strong and sturdy for the past 9-10months??? :( even some of the African violets are not doing too good. Is it the weather or me?...


4. Was secretly sad that Blackie & Fan Fan are married already...There goes an eligible bachelor......*wails*


5. Came home today to find my soft toy duck straddling my soft toy lamb on my printer, much like in doggy style. Wonder if it was my mum or my dad who inadvertently placed them in such a position. Wait...hmm. What if...oh nevermind.


6. Secretly envious of my friends who are happily holidaying in Phuket right now and enjoying the sun, the sand and the sea....I wanna prance around in my bikini and get a Thai massage toooooo :( But from the looks of it, my next holiday can only be after July perhaps? Too long...:(
   


7. I'm starting to enjoy my almost daily dose of bus ride from Pasir Panjang to Eunos. Feels good to sit and let the bus rock you all the way back to the East side. It's especially nice when you are by the window and you see the Marina Bay landscape looming up in front of you in the setting sun. :)


8. Getting more freckly as the months and years go by. :( Don't like. I apply sunscreen everyday on my face...how come still like that?? Could it be all the tanning that I did back in 2000-2005? :(


9. Am thankful and grateful for a boss who fights for rewards for me. Recently received our notification letter for our bonuses. Yah, for all the naggings, gruffness, scoldings, weekend calls and SMSes at any time of the day, HE'D BETTER REWARD ME HANDSOMELY!!!


10. Tired and sleepy so I'm dragging my ass off to bed....tata to all.
    

*breathe*

Talking to a stubborn non-marketing person about marketing issues can be an extremely frustrating thing. Extremely frustrating. Your corporate logo is either in its original colour or a full shade of a single colour if you need to tweak it a little for printing purposes.

Your DON'T, on your whim and fancy, change it to some parts colour and some parts white. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE and it RUINS your branding.

I know my craft ok. Just because you're more senior doesn't make you a know-it-all.
Wah pissed off.

$#^%&*O(*($&^%*&#$

New office....laments

I recently shifted office and it brought me much irritation, anger, frustration and sadness. Simply because the new location is located along Pasir Panjang Road. I stay in Tampines. That's from one end to the other end.

Anyhow, taking public transport to work turned out to be a 1h 15mins to 1h45mins journey, depending on whether there's a jam. It was extremely inefficient and cumbersome with changes from bus to train to another train and then another bus.

I've decided to try out a public bus transport service. Thank god to my colleague who managed to convince the bus driver to take me in as an additional customer. I'm paying a substantial amount for a 1-way trip I think. $90 a month. But for the convenience, I think it's worth a try. Let's hope it pans out well.

The other drawback of the far far away office location is that I need to wake up very early. I wake at 6am now, before the sun rises. Gosh. The last time this happened on a regular basis was way back when I was still in secondary school. I am absolutely not a morning person. K & my parents can attest to that. But I guess I have not much of a choice.....

Food establishments in that area is also limited, unless you can be bothered to take a bus out to places like Alexandra Village, IKEA, Vivocity, Seah Imm Food Centre or ABC market. My colleagues & I are hoping to explore the area for more food places haa...But one good thing is that at least they have an Harry's outlet just below my office tower... :)

More updates to come about the new office...(or maybe more complaints...;p)

Couch potato?

I've not been a TV person for a long time now. Ever since K went away to study, I've rekindled my relationship with my TV at home haha.

From chasing a Channel 8 drama last year, I've now progressed to following 2 Korean dramas and 1 or 2 Taiwanese variety shows.

Am I becoming a couch potato? Hmm.

growing awareness

Past elections have not captured my attention as much as this year's.

I was ignorant when I was a school-going teenager. To me, government = PAP, PAP = government. I had no concept of alternative parties or alternative voices.

In 2001, I turned 21 and thought I would be called up to vote. It turned out that they sent out the polling notifications a few days before my 21st birthday, which meant that I was considered not eligible to vote. Anyway, it was a walkover in Tampines GRC and I didn't care much either. I was busy studying hard and playing hard in university. Politics was a foreign notion.

In 2006, we were somehow subsumed into the Pasir-Ris Punggol GRC. Being older and having worked for a few years by then, I should have been more aware I suppose, but it was not the case. I was apathetic. Reading articles concerning the elections then bored me to tears. I was more interested in my own social life, work and pubbing. In any case, I was ordered by my parents to vote for the incumbent party. I cannot even remember now which alternative party was contesting in the GRC. When polling day came, I marked a nonchalant cross next to the lightning emblem.

This year, we were back to being in Tampines GRC. Bear in mind that we have not shifted an inch ever since we moved in 25 years ago. Social media has helped made me more aware of the political scene here. Youtube, Facebook, Twitter and various blogs and news sites have brought more information to us than mainstream media (which can be biased). I can't say I know alot and there are many things I still don't understand. But at least I know more now and it's a small step forward.

To that end, it was not a nonchalant cross that I penned on the voting form this year.

Angpia

你一定要幸福 leh!

I felt touched by these words because few people have told me this before in such explicit words. Interestingly, this came from Hong Bing, who called earlier just to chat and see if I've received his wedding invitation. We ended up gossipping about some of our friends, talking about how things were last time in uni and of course, the impending elections.

He's one of those friends who has been around for most of my major down times...and I don't know why but he suddenly said that to me haha.

Seems that apart from Mao Mao and Ah Seng, I'm the only other person in our uni group whom he feels closer to and bothers to call. Happy for him, that he and Lovy have gotten a place for themselves and are moving forward into a new chapter in their lives. :)

Hmmmm, old friends have been popping up suddenly over these past few weeks. Mingjie, Bernard, Eddie, Hong Bing. May there be more!

Mr ET

I met up with Eddie on Sunday since he was back in town. I was glad for the meet-up since the last time I saw him was back in end 2009. I still remember because it was the day after I ran the Standard Chartered 10km race. Lol...

I knew him back in 1999 in uni when we were schoolmates, faculty-mates, classmates, hostel-mates and then eventually Final-Year Project mates. :) So it's been a good 12 years since those days of walking to school together, bitching with each other, writing gossip notes to each other during lectures, snacking together and lending each other a shoulder to cry on....

He was there for me when I had my brain operation back in 2005. He brought me ice-cream when I was in hospital, called me up whenever he could and even visited me with his then girlfriend (now wife) when I was convalescing at home. I was there for him when he was devastated after his break-up with his girlfriend in uni, I was there when he got drunk and upset over that same girl and I was his wedding coordinator back in 2008.

Though we've been busy over the last couple of years and it has been hard to meet up, it always feels good when we do and it feels like we're back in the old times again. No awkwardness, nothing.

Am happy for him that he's doing good in his career. :) Cheers to you my friend and may everything go smoothly for you! May you start a family soon too!

Back to Ramrod Straight Hair

My hair was getting too heavy and messy and with the unworldly sauna-like temperatures hitting Singapore these few days, I decided to go for a much-needed haircut.

I lopped off a good 3-4 inches, snipped off all of my remaining curls, layered my hair and got the hairstylist to thin my hair out a little too. I coloured my hair a dark and mild shade of brown too, to cover up some of the other leftover mix of colours I had left in my hair. Trimmed my fringe as well though the stylist cut it a tad too short. I wanted it to be at eye level, it turned out to be above eye level with the shortest being above the brows. TMD.

But anyway, the end result is a younger and very "guai1" school-girl looking me, what with the cheesy fringe lol.

A colleague said I've lost my sexiness with my long locks gone hahaha. Hair feels a little stiff as it usually does after a haircut, hope it gets better and "settles" down after a week or so. :)

I might go colour it again next month hehe. Or maybe put in some ash or bronze highlights...whee!

*sniff*

My nose was blocked the entire day yesterday. I only had brief respite at certain times when it miraculously "un-blocked" itself for a few moments here and there.

My head felt heavy and I couldn't really work much. Typing out an email was akin to writing a novel. I'd write a sentence or two and then get stuck because either I had writer's block or I forgot what I wanted to say. Felt feverish too.

Went to the doc in the afternoon, got myself some medicine and got myself medical leave for today. Strangely the doc said I didn't have any fever.

Brought back some work to do but I don't know if I would really sit down and work on them hehe.

Granny

I'm glad that when I went to visit her on the Saturday just past, Granny was okay.

She was lucid and could carry on normal conversations with me and Dad. Her short term memory was still very bad though but I guess that has evolved to be the norm over the last 2-3 years.

It was the same on Sunday when Adrian & I brought her to Easter Sunday mass at Holy Family Church. She was okay though she didn't talk much. We were there early and managed to get seats at the pews. A very nice lady warden gave us seats at the last row of the pews though that row was usually reserved for wardens only. I've seen her a few times already, I think she's a senior warden already.

During mass, Granny surprised us both. People who have been to mass would know that there are times when you need to stand to pray or sing hymns and there are times when you need to kneel as well though most of the time you remain seated.

When it was time to stand, Granny stood up as well, holding onto the seat in front her with shaky knobbly hands. Adrian and I told her it was okay, that she need not stand and that she could just sit throughout the service. We were both brushed away and admonished with a huge glare from her haha.

When the time came to kneel, the same thing happened. My jaw dropped when I saw her going down on her knees. My 95yr-old Granny, who has difficulty walking without aid, who's heart is regulated with a pacemaker, who has had hip replacement surgery, who has gout and who has had a mild stroke before, was on her knees. We tried telling her again that she need not kneel. God won't be angry just because she didn't kneel. And we were both dutifully shushed up again.

Haha, and so this happened several times whenever it was time to stand or kneel.

She stood, she knelt, she sat, she prayed, she crossed her chest, she had communion, she dabbed her forehead with holy water blessed by the Father.

And she was smiling that Sunday morning. For she had her own special bonding time with the Lord and Mother Mary.

Lost for words

I just received news from my parents.

When Adrian went to visit Granny yesterday afternoon, she was in an emotional state. And apparently she was in that state, because of me and my supposed lack of morals. Sigh.

In her deluded, hazy, blurry, confused, clouded and dementia-riddled mind, she was very upset, angry and disappointed with me. For being a two-timing bitch and dating two men at the same time. (WHAT THE???)

She told Adrian that she was absolutely disappointed in me because she brought me up since I was a baby and now I've come to this. Short of calling me a slut, she said I was dating the two men and playing with their feelings for fun.

She described one of the two men as having two bumps on the head, mini horns. (This actually sounds quite scary. Hmm, if you know what I mean. Luckily she didn't describe the man as holding a pitchfork. Choi choi choi.)

She was emotional and was crying alot as well. Adrian tried to "defend" me. He told her "No lah! Michelle only has one boyfriend!" To which she retorted "You don't know alot of things. A friend of mine saw her with the two differnt men on many different occasions." When quizzed about who that "friend" was, of course, she couldn't say.

It's upsetting definitely. To have her see me in such a bad light. Come on man. I've been as filial as I can be, visiting her every weekend, bringing her to church from time to time, bringing her out for Peranakan food and all.

I'm going to visit her later on with Dad. I hope she's lucid today because once a bad idea has been planted into her head, it usually stays for a long long time. I don't wish for our relationship to become estranged because of this ridiculous idea she's harbouring in her mind.

Damn it, I'm going to see her on Sunday too. Adrian and I are bringing her to church because it's Easter Sunday. I really hope she's of sound mind these two days. Mega sigh.

*sigh*

I've been sighing alot recently. Partly out of tiredness, partly out of frustration, partly out of impatience and perhaps some other things. Been taking deep breaths too. Sometimes exhaling abit too loudly heh.

I hope it doesn't become a habit.

It's just that the action itself brings a quick calm to me amidst the sometimes frustrating circumstances.

More Complaints!

I'm on leave today.

But it doesn't really feel like it, considering I'm trying to clear some office work and I received an SMS from my boss at 8am this morning.

Work-life balance not easy to achieve leh!!!

Tricky Toothy Problems

I went to the dentist this morning. It didn't go well and I received quite a few pieces of news.

Well firstly, I've got 6 cavitites. 4 of them have been there since a few years ago and the good thing is that they are only surface level and have been more or less under control due to my better oral hygiene in recent years. I've just filled in one of them this morning and will be filling the rest up in due time.

Bad thing is that the 2 new cavities were as a result of parts of some teeth being chipped off. :(

And the worst news of all.....is that I have a cracked tooth. More specifically the second last molar on my upper left row of teeth. Sigh...

The dentist said this to me: "Oh, this one no hope." "Huh?" I went. "Ya, no hope" he continued. "You need to remove it. Probably will need a minor surgery because this is a molar. Big roots. The tooth is cracked into half, cannot fix one."

Sigh. My heart sank.

And so, I'll need to remove it. Which, according to the dentist, extraction costs will be in the region of $300-$600. Wah lau. And if I want to make a replacement tooth, it'll set me back by another $4,000. And if I want a cheaper option called bridging where they rely on the adjacent teeth to provide support for a new false tooth, it'll cost me $2000.

#@%$& ^ ($^%*&(* %#^%#$

Dentist told me to change my diet and not eat hard things to prevent further chipping of my teeth. I asked him for examples of hard things. He said shellfish like crabs, or chewing hard things like bones and cartilage or ice. BUT I DON'T TAKE THESE THINGS!! I take crab for sure but it's only once in a blue blue blue moon!

Sigh.

I'm gonna be broke. $2K can fly me to Europe and back leh. $4k can fund me for a 2-3weeks holiday in Europe leh.

$#%&^(*$^$#@%#$&^%

WTF

Why is my paragraphing all wrong???????????/

of slippers and warmth

I have recently gotten into the habit of wearing bedroom slippers at home. It’s odd really, considering I never liked the “hassle” of putting them on previously.

I remember my parents, more of my mum actually, spending copious amounts of time nagging at me when I was a small girl still in primary school. “Wear your slippers!” she’d cry out at me in a shrilly voice. “Keep your feet warm! It’s not good for your feet to touch the cold floor for too long! Not good for the body!”

I never really understood what she meant by “not good for the body”. But of course, I never bothered asking. And I never listened to her too.

As a young girl running about, having a pair of those things on my feet just wouldn’t do. I couldn’t possibly be taking them off when I wanted to climb the chairs or hang onto the window grilles. And how on earth could I possibly run fast with those things hindering my feet? I did what any child would have done. I just didn’t bother wearing them. My pair of bedroom slippers was always left in some corner of the house, neglected and yearning for some love.

When I was in Europe some months back, it was winter and cold to the bone. Kyne had a pair of slippers in his room and I took to wearing them to keep my feet warm on the cold tiled floor. (It gets really cold in winter, especially if there’s no heater in the room!) And then one day, I was out shopping with Kyne and chanced upon a simple pair of bedroom slippers. I fell in love with them. Soft to the touch and slightly furry to retain warmth, they were cut like a ballerina’s flats, had a small little satin ribbon bow on the top of them and came with a cushiony, leathery sole. I bought a light grey pair.

I wore them straightaway when I got back to our place and subsequently brought them back with me to Singapore when my holiday was over. And I have been wearing them at home ever since. I’ve become a bedroom slipper convert.

After a day’s work and after a day of having your feet cramped into a pair of pointy-toed heels, it really does feel good to snuggle your feet into a pair of bedroom slipper. It’s a warm fuzzy feeling having your battered toes ensconced in a furry, cushiony and leathery bubble. Haha. :)

世說心語 - 孫燕姿

每一天镜子前我看见同一个脸却听见 在耳边 呼吸声 好遥远我想笑 我想爱 想奔跑 想拥抱我是怎么了像被困住了 时间满满的心却空空的有那么一天 时间停止了才发现原来心自由才能 真的快乐单纯快乐每一夜月阴缺我学会不完美的美心跳声在周围催促我有梦去追我又起飞了 我是自由的随风旋转着 开心唱着歌有那么一天 时间停止了才发现心自由才能快乐这种感动我记得 像出发的那一刻哪一段才是永久太多美丽的语言 不比心语的纯洁 勇敢奔向新世界我又起飞了 我是自由的随风旋转着 开心唱着歌在那么一天 时间停住了我会知道我心是自由的

當冬夜漸暖 - 孫燕姿

很多事情 不是谁说了就算即使伤心 结果还是自己担多少次失望表示着多少次期盼事实证明 幸福很难 我们之间 不是谁说了就算拉扯的爱 徒增结局的难堪一百次相爱只要有一次的绚烂下一次 会更勇敢 当冬夜渐暖 当大海也不再那么蓝当月色的纯白变得阴暗那只是代表快乐不再那么简单当冬夜渐暖 当夏夜的树上不再有蝉当回忆老去的痕迹斑斑那只是因为悲伤从来 都不会有答案 我们之间 不是谁说了就算拉扯的爱 徒增结局的难堪一百次相爱只要有一次的绚烂下一次 会更勇敢 当冬夜渐暖 当大海也不再那么蓝当月色的纯白变得阴暗那只是代表快乐不再那么简单当冬夜渐暖 当夏夜的树上不再有蝉当回忆老去的痕迹斑斑那只是因为悲伤从来 都不会有答案 当冬夜渐暖 当青春也都烟消云散当美丽的故事都有遗憾那只是习惯把爱当作喜欢重要的是 我们如何 爱过那一段

EEEEEKKKKSSS!!

It took me 4 years (I think). But I finally picked up the courage..... To make an appointment.................. with..................... the dentist. *wails* I made the appointment for scaling. But am scared too. Cos there's a particular problem tooth...it's either a deep chip or a bad decay....:(

Time to Niam Niam Niam

Oh it sucks when you put up a paper, your boss amends it and then submits it in your name to the big bosses. The big boss instead amends the amendments your boss made, thinking that you were the incompetent one who made those mistakes. Oh FML! I hate bureaucracy.

C'est Bizarre

It has been a strange one week. Last Saturday, my grandmother, whose dementia acts up quite frequently, suddenly turned her attention to me. She kept asking if I had a boyfriend and when would I be getting married. And.....she said I am OLD. She gave a grimace when she said that. My 95-yr-old gran was grimacing at me like I was some piece of expired luncheon meat. Sigh. And then on 4 separate occasions, 4 friends told me the same thing out of the blue: “If you need any help or advice for wedding preparations, feel free to ask me." Hmm. From time to time, I'll also get questions of "When is he coming back?". Somehow more people asked me this during htis particular week. Why ah? Hmmmmmmm.