Lost for words

I just received news from my parents.

When Adrian went to visit Granny yesterday afternoon, she was in an emotional state. And apparently she was in that state, because of me and my supposed lack of morals. Sigh.

In her deluded, hazy, blurry, confused, clouded and dementia-riddled mind, she was very upset, angry and disappointed with me. For being a two-timing bitch and dating two men at the same time. (WHAT THE???)

She told Adrian that she was absolutely disappointed in me because she brought me up since I was a baby and now I've come to this. Short of calling me a slut, she said I was dating the two men and playing with their feelings for fun.

She described one of the two men as having two bumps on the head, mini horns. (This actually sounds quite scary. Hmm, if you know what I mean. Luckily she didn't describe the man as holding a pitchfork. Choi choi choi.)

She was emotional and was crying alot as well. Adrian tried to "defend" me. He told her "No lah! Michelle only has one boyfriend!" To which she retorted "You don't know alot of things. A friend of mine saw her with the two differnt men on many different occasions." When quizzed about who that "friend" was, of course, she couldn't say.

It's upsetting definitely. To have her see me in such a bad light. Come on man. I've been as filial as I can be, visiting her every weekend, bringing her to church from time to time, bringing her out for Peranakan food and all.

I'm going to visit her later on with Dad. I hope she's lucid today because once a bad idea has been planted into her head, it usually stays for a long long time. I don't wish for our relationship to become estranged because of this ridiculous idea she's harbouring in her mind.

Damn it, I'm going to see her on Sunday too. Adrian and I are bringing her to church because it's Easter Sunday. I really hope she's of sound mind these two days. Mega sigh.

*sigh*

I've been sighing alot recently. Partly out of tiredness, partly out of frustration, partly out of impatience and perhaps some other things. Been taking deep breaths too. Sometimes exhaling abit too loudly heh.

I hope it doesn't become a habit.

It's just that the action itself brings a quick calm to me amidst the sometimes frustrating circumstances.

More Complaints!

I'm on leave today.

But it doesn't really feel like it, considering I'm trying to clear some office work and I received an SMS from my boss at 8am this morning.

Work-life balance not easy to achieve leh!!!

Tricky Toothy Problems

I went to the dentist this morning. It didn't go well and I received quite a few pieces of news.

Well firstly, I've got 6 cavitites. 4 of them have been there since a few years ago and the good thing is that they are only surface level and have been more or less under control due to my better oral hygiene in recent years. I've just filled in one of them this morning and will be filling the rest up in due time.

Bad thing is that the 2 new cavities were as a result of parts of some teeth being chipped off. :(

And the worst news of all.....is that I have a cracked tooth. More specifically the second last molar on my upper left row of teeth. Sigh...

The dentist said this to me: "Oh, this one no hope." "Huh?" I went. "Ya, no hope" he continued. "You need to remove it. Probably will need a minor surgery because this is a molar. Big roots. The tooth is cracked into half, cannot fix one."

Sigh. My heart sank.

And so, I'll need to remove it. Which, according to the dentist, extraction costs will be in the region of $300-$600. Wah lau. And if I want to make a replacement tooth, it'll set me back by another $4,000. And if I want a cheaper option called bridging where they rely on the adjacent teeth to provide support for a new false tooth, it'll cost me $2000.

#@%$& ^ ($^%*&(* %#^%#$

Dentist told me to change my diet and not eat hard things to prevent further chipping of my teeth. I asked him for examples of hard things. He said shellfish like crabs, or chewing hard things like bones and cartilage or ice. BUT I DON'T TAKE THESE THINGS!! I take crab for sure but it's only once in a blue blue blue moon!

Sigh.

I'm gonna be broke. $2K can fly me to Europe and back leh. $4k can fund me for a 2-3weeks holiday in Europe leh.

$#%&^(*$^$#@%#$&^%

WTF

Why is my paragraphing all wrong???????????/

of slippers and warmth

I have recently gotten into the habit of wearing bedroom slippers at home. It’s odd really, considering I never liked the “hassle” of putting them on previously.

I remember my parents, more of my mum actually, spending copious amounts of time nagging at me when I was a small girl still in primary school. “Wear your slippers!” she’d cry out at me in a shrilly voice. “Keep your feet warm! It’s not good for your feet to touch the cold floor for too long! Not good for the body!”

I never really understood what she meant by “not good for the body”. But of course, I never bothered asking. And I never listened to her too.

As a young girl running about, having a pair of those things on my feet just wouldn’t do. I couldn’t possibly be taking them off when I wanted to climb the chairs or hang onto the window grilles. And how on earth could I possibly run fast with those things hindering my feet? I did what any child would have done. I just didn’t bother wearing them. My pair of bedroom slippers was always left in some corner of the house, neglected and yearning for some love.

When I was in Europe some months back, it was winter and cold to the bone. Kyne had a pair of slippers in his room and I took to wearing them to keep my feet warm on the cold tiled floor. (It gets really cold in winter, especially if there’s no heater in the room!) And then one day, I was out shopping with Kyne and chanced upon a simple pair of bedroom slippers. I fell in love with them. Soft to the touch and slightly furry to retain warmth, they were cut like a ballerina’s flats, had a small little satin ribbon bow on the top of them and came with a cushiony, leathery sole. I bought a light grey pair.

I wore them straightaway when I got back to our place and subsequently brought them back with me to Singapore when my holiday was over. And I have been wearing them at home ever since. I’ve become a bedroom slipper convert.

After a day’s work and after a day of having your feet cramped into a pair of pointy-toed heels, it really does feel good to snuggle your feet into a pair of bedroom slipper. It’s a warm fuzzy feeling having your battered toes ensconced in a furry, cushiony and leathery bubble. Haha. :)

世說心語 - 孫燕姿

每一天镜子前我看见同一个脸却听见 在耳边 呼吸声 好遥远我想笑 我想爱 想奔跑 想拥抱我是怎么了像被困住了 时间满满的心却空空的有那么一天 时间停止了才发现原来心自由才能 真的快乐单纯快乐每一夜月阴缺我学会不完美的美心跳声在周围催促我有梦去追我又起飞了 我是自由的随风旋转着 开心唱着歌有那么一天 时间停止了才发现心自由才能快乐这种感动我记得 像出发的那一刻哪一段才是永久太多美丽的语言 不比心语的纯洁 勇敢奔向新世界我又起飞了 我是自由的随风旋转着 开心唱着歌在那么一天 时间停住了我会知道我心是自由的

當冬夜漸暖 - 孫燕姿

很多事情 不是谁说了就算即使伤心 结果还是自己担多少次失望表示着多少次期盼事实证明 幸福很难 我们之间 不是谁说了就算拉扯的爱 徒增结局的难堪一百次相爱只要有一次的绚烂下一次 会更勇敢 当冬夜渐暖 当大海也不再那么蓝当月色的纯白变得阴暗那只是代表快乐不再那么简单当冬夜渐暖 当夏夜的树上不再有蝉当回忆老去的痕迹斑斑那只是因为悲伤从来 都不会有答案 我们之间 不是谁说了就算拉扯的爱 徒增结局的难堪一百次相爱只要有一次的绚烂下一次 会更勇敢 当冬夜渐暖 当大海也不再那么蓝当月色的纯白变得阴暗那只是代表快乐不再那么简单当冬夜渐暖 当夏夜的树上不再有蝉当回忆老去的痕迹斑斑那只是因为悲伤从来 都不会有答案 当冬夜渐暖 当青春也都烟消云散当美丽的故事都有遗憾那只是习惯把爱当作喜欢重要的是 我们如何 爱过那一段

EEEEEKKKKSSS!!

It took me 4 years (I think). But I finally picked up the courage..... To make an appointment.................. with..................... the dentist. *wails* I made the appointment for scaling. But am scared too. Cos there's a particular problem tooth...it's either a deep chip or a bad decay....:(

Time to Niam Niam Niam

Oh it sucks when you put up a paper, your boss amends it and then submits it in your name to the big bosses. The big boss instead amends the amendments your boss made, thinking that you were the incompetent one who made those mistakes. Oh FML! I hate bureaucracy.

C'est Bizarre

It has been a strange one week. Last Saturday, my grandmother, whose dementia acts up quite frequently, suddenly turned her attention to me. She kept asking if I had a boyfriend and when would I be getting married. And.....she said I am OLD. She gave a grimace when she said that. My 95-yr-old gran was grimacing at me like I was some piece of expired luncheon meat. Sigh. And then on 4 separate occasions, 4 friends told me the same thing out of the blue: “If you need any help or advice for wedding preparations, feel free to ask me." Hmm. From time to time, I'll also get questions of "When is he coming back?". Somehow more people asked me this during htis particular week. Why ah? Hmmmmmmm.

caught!

I was reading a piece of entertainment news on xinmsn. And on the article was a picture of a model in a piece of swimsuit and a deep cleavage. I was plugged into my earphones.

Damn.

And my boss came by. Apparently he stood behind me for a good 5 seconds calling out to me.

That’s it! Minus points liao.

*bleah* haha…

Lunch at work

It used to be a happy time and a happy environment. We’d all go for lunch together in a whole bunch, sometimes up to 9 or 10 of us. Joking and laughing, we’d be a rowdy bunch. That was more than a year and a half ago.

And then things took a turn. Kelvin left the company, and then Sandra and Cedric. BK was transferred to another department and then shortly after, he left the company too. And then some new people came in. Dynamics changed. People changed. Some folks had work piled up on them and couldn’t make it as often for lunch. Some others developed grudges against others and tensions grew.

These days, lunch is a chore at times. I get caught in the middle at times.

“I want to eat with you but I don’t want to see (him) around”. “I’m okay with having lunch with you but who else is coming?”

I don’t bother too much with gathering people for lunch these days. Either I pack lunch in, or I just go with one or two other girls, or I just go with one or two of my teammates.

Not here, not there

I didn't really have a proper dinner. Hmm, let's see, what did I have....

I had a stick of Old Chang Kee sotong balls and a stick of their chicken wrap at 730pm. Also a cup of lychee green tea bubble tea.

And then I went to PQ's granny's wake. Between 8pm till 10pm I stuffed myself with loads of peanuts, some melon seeds and some sweets. And a packet of green tea.

I got home at 10-plus and I had a slice of raisin bread.

I can't say I'm hungry. But neither do I feel full.

:( It's 11-plus now. I don't think I should eat anymore right? :(

Movies

On the way back from San Francisco, I watched a few movies. All are foreign language films. :)

1) The Man from Nowhere - Korean and highly highly recommended. Won Bin was gorgeous, the little girl Kim Sae-Ron was wonderful, the cinematography was lovely and the soundtrack was just awesome. I've been listening to "Dear" by Mad Soul Child everyday since I came back to SG. I'm planning to watch the movie again very soon. :)

2) Kuch Kuch Hota Hai - Hindi and a classic one, one of the longest shows running in India's theatres. Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol pair up again in this typical love story.... p/s: kuch kuch hota hai is pronounced as "kooche kooche hoe-tah hey" and means "something is happening".

3) Norwegian Wood - Japanese. Adapted from a novel of the same name written by Haruki Murakami. Directed by a Vietnamese. It's an okay show. But overly draggy and peppered with uneccessary sexual scenes and sexual talk at times.

4) Iron Ladies - Thai. What can I say. This is a classic. :) It's the third time I've watched it and I still enjoy it alot haha.

5) A Moment to Remember - Korean. Highly recommended as well. Watching this movie has reinforced my view that Jung Woo Sung is an able actor. He may not be as good-looking as some other Korean actors and his eyes may not be as expressive but he makes up for it through other facial expressions and raw emotions. His physical build is awesome though haha. I cried alot when watching this show. I hope the guy sitting next to me didn't notice. Hmm.

Oh I love travelling long-haul on SQ. I watch tons of movies during these long long flights...:)

of sighs...

The weather is making me feel melancholic.

Here I am sitting in the dim room sipping hot tea and not really doing anything else. The only light is coming from the pink skies outside the windows and from what little light there is from the PC monitor.

Been feeling quite testy and emotional today. I don't know if it's because of some songs I've been listening to, some news I've heard from friends, or just that K isn't here.

A friend's feeling a little lost right now and trying hard to keep his marriage alive. He and his wife have been together for ages, since 14 or 15 years ago at least and married for the last 4 or 5. I don't know how things deteriorated between them but I really wish them all the best. I told him "You guys have come so far, I really believe you guys will go so much further". Sigh.

Another friend's Gran just passed on due to illness. And it made me think of my own Granny. I've not seen her for 3 weeks now due to my cousin's wedding and then my work trip. I hope she's doing okay.

A colleague's feeling down cos of neverending work and she doesn't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

So on and so forth....sigh.

movies

Oh yes. I couldn't sleep on my flight to SF. And so...I watched 6 movies in totalduring the 16-hour journey hehe.

1) The King's Speech - Good
2) Love and Other Drugs - I love Jake Gyllenhaal~!! And Anne Hathaway's so pretty!
3) Tangled - Excellent
4) True Grit - So so
5) Burlesque - Not Bad
6) Les Bruits Des Glacons - French movie. True to the typical French style of movies. Utterly neurotic, utterly sexual and utterly bizarre, leaving you with many question marks at the end of the show. But this one makes you think a little and ponder about the fragility of human life.

On the journey home, I think I want to watch Kuch Kuch Hota Hai...I did not manage to catch this Hindi show last time when it showed here. It went on to become one of the highest grossing Hindi movies of all time.

Maybe I'll catch Harry Potter (though I cannot stand how draggy the show can be at times) and Hereafter, the movie by Clint Eastwood.

San Francisco so far

This has got to be one of my busiest and most tiring meeting so far.

It’s been 3 days since I arrived and I am still feeling jetlagged. I have not had the chance to visit any shops (which is pathetic and quite unusual actually haha). I keep falling asleep in the afternoon and late morning. I find myself clearing work at 1am in the morning, going to bed at 1 or 2am and then waking up at 6am again (involuntarily) in the morning again to work somemore. My body clock’s screwed up big time. I've never had jetlag so bad before hmmmm.

If I’m not working, I’m attending a conference track. Otherwise, I’ll be in my room listening in to a track and/or trying to sleep away the jetlag. If not those, then I’ll be in a face-to-face meeting with someone. Either that or I’d be running around trying to settle some issues which cropped up last minute. Or answering my boss' queries through SMS. (my phone bill will skyrocket this month again. I'm hoping it will be less than $150.)

Ok, enough of complaints.

My impression so far of San Francisco:

1) Lots of shops around
2) Lots of restaurants around, good steak places and seafood places
3) Lovely old-school trams to bring people around
4) Very steep streets and very hilly streets, up and down, up and down. Difficult to walk sometimes. That's why they have the trams as part of public transport.
5) Rather clean sidewalks

Acne rash....

I went to the doc yesterday evening and was diagnosed with having acne rash on my left cheek. :(
As if a rash isn't bad enough. It has to be acne rash. Sigh.

And the doc said he couldn't really do much about it except to give me some cream to stop the itchiness if there's any.

*wails* My face!!!!!! Fugly lah!
And I have an international conference next week! :(

Speaking of helping out at weddings. It's interesting how you know a person's work attitude from the way that person is during the course of helping out (or should I say not helping out).

My cousin had 6 jiemeis for her wedding. One of them's a distant relative aged 16. If she doesn't pull her weight on the actual day and doesn't really help much, I can understand. She's only 16 and doesn't really know what goes on at weddings anyway. She wasn't around much of the time and when she was around, she didn't do much.

But there was this one other jiemei. Who wasn't very responsible and had zero initiative. Let's call her W. Firstly, she came 30minutes late. And then she sat and chatted to others during the morning activities. While the rest of the jiemeis were helping out with preparations, and helping out with whatever things needed to be done, she say there chatting. Zero initiative. Zero proactiveness.

At night, she was at the reception. I'd say 40% of the time she was somewhere else except at the reception table. Her partner kept asking me where she was. I saw her chatting with another friend. Sigh. If I had her as a colleague, I'd curse everyday.

Weddings

I helped out in my cousin's wedding last Saturday. It's my 10th time helping out at a wedding and it's the only one where I'm the main coordinator for both day & night activities.

With each wedding I learn abit more and with this one, I learnt the most. Partly because I was involved right from the start. She asked me how should she start her planning process and I was there to discuss things with her and give her my two cents' worth. I drew up a list of things for her to think through and consider haha. But the smart-aleck in me scribbled it on 3 pages of paper and then passed it all to her. Now I don't have a copy of it. Bleah.

She did up her draft schedule and I was the one of the first few to see it, apart from herself, her parents and her husband. Pored over it and gave her my questions and more pointers lol.

A female colleague told me the other day. "Oh no, I've already been a bridesmaid and jiemei twice. I can only do it one more time, else I'll not be able to get married in the future!!"

Lol, and this came from a girl 5 years younger than I. I didn't know people still believed in these things. I told her I have another wedding to help out in at the end of the year, and that would be my 11th time. Her jaw dropped.

Ah weddings and marriages. Maybe I should quit my job and join a wedding planning agency. I could learn much more although my weekends would be burnt....

Dad

I'm secretly happy. My dad has found a new hobby.

Although it hasn't entirely taken over his old hobby (of watching Korean programmes and MTVs on youtube the whole day) yet but at least it's taking his mind of his old hobby a little. :)

An what is his new hobby? Reading comics!! Hahahaa.....

My dad used to love reading comics. English ones of course. I used to have stacks and stacks of Asterix and Leonardo and Archie comic books at home. Then one fine day my Mum cleared everything away...

My dad's recently been going to Tampines Regional Library to borrow Asterix comic books. :) I'd come home from work to see him with a book in front of him. Good. Better than seeing him in front of the computer watching Girls Generation prancing around in short skirts.

:(

Anger takes so much energy out of a person.

I was fuming this afternoon. And it just zapped so much out of me that now at 6pm, I feel very tired. Sigh.

And in times like these, I feel K's absence even more. :(

Sweet Tweets

Tried making dessert today. :)

A very simple dessert of boiled dried apricots in a sweet broth made from honey and sweetened winter melon slices.

Preparation time = 2minutes
Boiling = about 10minutes

It took me less than 15minutes to make it.

I liked it, though the apricots could have been boiled longer so that they were softer. The soup had a nice sweet soothing taste to it. My Dad hated the dessert though and said it tasted very strange lol...My Mum sort of liked it haha...but didn't dare take too much because she's borderline diabetic. :)

*scowl*

Someone just made a snide comment about why I was so kan cheong about a particular work issue, without realizing I was there, on the other side of the partition. He then saw me and kept at it.

“Aiyah, at the most I do for you lah!”, he said. I told him it’s not about the “doing for me”. It’s about keeping to timelines and not scrambling to complete things last minute. When you can keep to timelines, you don’t need to scramble last minute right? You can help me out by keeping to timelines lor. He gave me a mock shocked and flustered expression.

Wah lan.

You’re not the one trying to coordinate things with people and trying to meet a timeline to present things to the bosses. So don’t make such comments and try to turn it into a joke.

Gan du lan.

Uhhhh....

The trending is as such.

Feb 08, Feb 09, Feb 10, Feb 11

46.3, 45.4, 47.1, 48.8

Shit.

This is what 6 months of eating-heartily-and-not-bothering-what-goes-into-your-stomach and what 3 months of slacking-and-not-running does to your body.

Body fat percentage has gone up 3 percentage points compared to last year.

Shit.

I dread to see what my cholesterol levels are. They should be sending over the full report to me within the next 3 to 4 weeks.

*crosses fingers*

Status Update

Remember one of my terrarium jars was almost destroyed by my mum when I went away for a month in December?

I'm glad to say that after 2 months of restorative work and lots of tender loving care, that jar is almost back to 100% its original state!

I removed the original plants from the jar and transplanted them into another pot. They are thriving happily now and are much less discoloured compared to mid January. They initially had dark brown stems after swimming in muddy murky water for a few weeks.

I put new shoots into the jar and they have since managed to pull through and are getting stronger already! I put in 1 stalk of green fittonia and 1 stalk of red fittonia. My red fittonias are very hardy and can survive even under harsh conditions. So the red stalk was generally doing fine.

The green stalk however was in a precarious condition for the first 1.5 months. It wasn't dying, nor was it looking strong. It just looked weak and withered. It's leaves were limp. I switched the jar around hoping to catch the right amount of sunlight and voila, one fine day about two weeks ago I found the right spot!

I came home to see the green stalk looking much much better than before. And now that green stalk is not standing straight and strong and tall. :)

May both red & green stalks grow new shoots and leaves and then my terrarium will be fully restored! :) Whee!

Mr Fisherman, here I come!

12 - 21 March. San Francisco.

Fishermen's Wharf! Union Square! Shopping! And some catching up with friends whom I've not seen in awhile.

Let's see, a steak dinner followed by a short bout of shopping has been arranged on 12 March evening. 13 March evening's dinner with another party has not been confirmed yet. 14 March may have a sponsored reception. 15 March there is a sponsored dinner. 16 March another sponsored dinner. 17 March nothing planned as yet. And 18 March would be my flight home at 1pm.

The weather will be cold though still manageable at a range of 9-17C.

May this meeting be a fruitful one too! I've taken on an extra role which is to assist my boss in the tracking of some issues in the Government Advisory Committee. An ultra boring role but perhaps it might help me understand some of the politics and sensitivities that goes on in the discussions these government officials have.

After this trip, the next one will only be in October or November this year. And that meeting is likely to be in the African region. Hmmmm....I hope it's a safe place that they're going to. I don't want to be caught in another situation where I might not get to go because of some dumb terrorist threatening to bomb my meeting venue. (Read: I did not get to go to Nairobi in March 2010 because some Somalian people gave out such a threat)

Of bumps and sebum

Went for my facial yesterday. Finally managed to find a chance to go and it was high high high high time that I went. If I had missed yesterday's session, I think I'd have felt horrendously ugly haha.

Because I'd not gone for at least 3 months, my face was in a horrid shape. And so the beautician poked, squeezed and poked somemore at my pores.

Ouch.

But she also gave me a very very SHIOK facial and eye massage! I fell asleep in the midst of the eye massage haha...:)

Mad Busy

For the next few months at least.

Sometimes I don't know which work item to tackle first. When they are all of the same urgency haha.

Damn it! I need to get more sleep too...:)

Hong Kong!

This is one of my shortest trip worktrip ever I think. But on my first night, I've already spent SGD$230. Haha...so what did I buy?

SKII and Biotherm and My Beautiful Diary products. There are tons of cosmetics shops here and all of them are selling products at cheaper prices compared to Singapore. There are 2 or 3 major chain stores like Bonjour, Colour Mix and SaSa. Why doesn't Singapore have alot of these stores ah? Hmm...

Anyway, I arrived at the hotel in Hong Kong island at 330pm, literally just dumped my bags and went for a Yum Cha session with some of my friends here. Went back to my hotel after that, grabbed my jacket and then headed across to Mongkok at the Kowloon side for shopping followed by dinner.

Came back exhausted but uber happy with the nice wonton mee I had and with my purchases haha. Took a quick shower and called K (who was enjoying himself with his friends) and then voila here, I am blogging little.

Am gonna do some work now before sleeping. I've an early morning meeting/discussion with my boss too....Jiayou to me!

sigh

I forsee busy times ahead.

- Business trip end this week
- Cousin getting married in early March and I am her main coordinator (I'm a little nervous about this actually)
- Board meeting in the second week of March
- Another week-long business trip in March as well
- Big project to be launched in June
- International event to be hosted in June for 1500 - 1700 pax

Cereal Mushrooms!

I tried cooking "Cereal Mushrooms" on Monday. It's essentially a dish that is the same as cereal prawns, except that the prawns are now substituted by mushrooms.

I first had this dish in a vegetarian restaurant, Naive, in Katong. It contained big pieces of monkey head mushroom fried together with cereal. For my dish, I used buna shimeiji mushrooms instead. I couldn't find other mushrooms which I felt were suitable haha.

The cereal was nice after the initial frying. I didn't put in curry leaves and fresh chilli because I was lazy to buy them haha. Also, there's no point buying a whole packet when I am just cooking for myself right? But after I mixed the mushrooms in, the cereal turned out a little clumpy in the end. I suspect it was because the mushrooms gave out water and made the dish wetter than it should have been.

Still edible but presentation was a failure haha.

Nevermind, I will try again! Maybe this time with prawns instead haha.

Du Shen

I had a few opportunities to gamble during CNY.

Hmm ...my overall P&L statement is not too exciting though.

- Won $2.50 at mahjong on the 3rd day of CNY(played a $0.50 and $1.00 game)
- Broke even after 2-over hours of playing blackjack. (absolutely no ROI on my time and effort leh!!!)
- Won $0.80 at mahjong on the 11th day of CNY (played a $0.20 and $0.40 game)

Won $3.30 overall.

OMG.
Lol.....It’s not even enough to buy me a plate of chicken rice at Suntec’s foodcourt!!!

Black Swan

I watched Black Swan last Friday at Tampines Mall. I was alone and it had been a long day. I was feeling a little down at work and had hoped that the movie would bring me some welcome respite from the humdrum of the working week.

I had originally wanted to watch The King’s Speech but it wasn’t showing at Tampines and so…I ended up with the other critically-acclaimed Best Picture nominee Black Swan.

Bad choice for a Friday night.

I don’t mean to slight the show. It was good in a way, very different. And Natalie Portman was brilliant in the show.

But it was too disturbing. Creepy at times. Dark and sinister. Shocking at times too, much like how a horror show would freak you out at times with things suddenly popping out or a loud clang of music suddenly bursting in your eardrums.

I had already had a tense day and watching the show made me even more tense thereafter. I’ve never screamed in a theatre before, but that night, I actually uttered a small cry during one of the shocking moments. Good thing was, everyone was equally shocked and I also heard some shocked cries from other parts of the theatre as well. Many a time during the show I found myself holding my breath.

I walked home after the movie. With heavy feet, a fast-beating heart and very tense shoulders.

I can now understand why it was nominated for Best Picture. Black Swan builds up its suspense slowly, without you even realizing it. You feel as if you’re going insane in the same way the main character’s mind distorts reality and fucks itself up. Sexual nuances are not pared down, hence the M18 rating. The attention to details are note-worthy and kudos to Natalie Portman too for having endured many long sessions dancing and acting out her ballet sequences.

run, ran, running

I went for a run last night. Hmm. Maybe it turned out to be only a brisk walk session. Considering how slowly I moved my leaden legs.

I heaved and huffed and puffed. And in the end, I only ran (or brisk-walked?) 2km.

A 2.5 month hiatus was the culprit.

No this cannot be!!! I must persevere.

More updates on this soon.

Wo yao jiayou!!!

*burp*

I am organising a luncheon tomorrow for my local registrars. It will be a day of hello-s and hi-s and how-is-business-going-s? I hope I have the energy to smile, entertain and keep conversations going throughout the 2 hours.

And yes, food again. Lunch will be at Peach Blossoms Restaurant at Marina Mandarin Hotel.
I feel fat just thinking about the venue.

And oh yes, it will be my....hmmm....*counts* 5th time doing the lo-hei...
There will be a 6th time for sure. And a potential 7th or 8th lol.

*Looks down at tummy*
Go away you flabs!! I don't like you!!! Ugh!!

Aunt Agony Emergeth Too

The start of the Rabbit Year seems to have brought me into a few "listening-ear" situations again.

Over the last few days, I unwittingly found myself providing listening ears on three separate occasions.

****
1) A girlfriend, whom I was very close to last time, spent some time talking to me on Saturday night about her almost failing, if not failed, relationship with a guy who is a divorcee with two kids. 3 years spent being there for him and now she may be calling it quits.

Sigh, I guess it really is time to move on, however hard it may be, if you cannot see any future or direction in the relationship. Or if you think you and your partner are just cruising along with nowhere to head to in particular. Or if it turns out to be just a one-sided effort in attempting to grow the relationship further. I hope she finds what she truly deserves in this Rabbit Year....

****
2) I received a call on Monday afternoon. From a friend whom I've not heard from for the last 10-12 months at least. We met up for coffee that same afternoon. He used to be my vendor when I was still working in the Marketing line. We've kept in touch over the last few years and are more like friends now. When we met up, he shared with me the reason for his "disappearing" for so long.

His business was doing very badly. Fledgling. He was "played out" by some clients and partners alike. And by September or October last year, he was quite cash-strapped. Although his wife was working (and still is), they also had two young kids below 5 to look after and his mum was also living with them. At times, he and his wife had to share a packet of chicken rice between themselves for dinner.

Still, he managed to get some references from friends and is currently holding onto 3 jobs now. He also shared with me that he did not know he had the strength and energy to keep on going. He'd work from 9am to 5pm, then go off for sales appointments for another job of his, go home and then try to settle admin matters needed for his sales job and hit the sack at 2am or so. On the weekends, especially in the evenings, he'd be helping to manage an Italian restaurant somewhere in the east side of Singapore.

Though his schedule seems to be jam-packed, I think he still makes the effort to be there for his children and family too....I hope things get brighter for him this year and may he find a suitable solution to better his financial situation.

****
3) A long-time friend, whom I've known for close to 18 years, called me up just now. After the usual pleasantries, he shared with me that things weren't exactly rosy between himself and his wife. Arguments are getting more frequent, his wife seems to be suffering from depression, he's working on shift-work timing now in a new role, his wife's physical health isn't good too and medical bills amount to a few hundred each month...Things are taking a toll on their relationship

Still, he's keeping his head high and trying to work things out little by little...I wish him all the best and hope that things smoothen out eventually for them...

They've been together for about 15 years already and married for the last 3-4 years. I really hope they work things out...

The Nerd Doth Emergeth

Carrefour was having its book sales again. A third of the atrium outside carrefour was occupied by tables with books and books and books piled on them.

I tried.

But.

I could.

Not.

Resist.

And so.

I got myself 5 books. 1 cookbook, 1 novel and 3 classics.

1. Chef At Home, a cookbook featuring mainly Asian dishes which are familiar to all of us and loved by me and K. :) They have buah keluak recipes in there too lol. I couldn't decide whether to get it or not. So I flipped the book page by each tantalising page. And then I was sold. Or rather, my tastebuds worked up a frenzy and convinced my brain to buy the book.
   
2. Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffennegger. The same lady who wrote The Time Traveller's Wife, a book which I like alot. And which touched me truly, madly and deeply. I remember feeling very emotionally involved when I was reading the book.
3. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe. What can I say? Haha, I read a watered down version of the book when I was a young girl. It was probably less than 50% of the original book but I remember I loved the story nevertheless.
4. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson. This is another classic book. But I think I have not read it yet. I cannot remember. ;p
5. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. Yet another classic novel. Its 500 pages of pages filled to the brim with words of font-size 9 (or 8 hmm....). Looking forward to it!!

And so, the nerd doth emergeth again.

I still have 7 books which I have not read yet, out of which 4 are French books. Coupled with the new 4 novels (the cookbook does not count), that's like 11 books. More than enough to last me for the year I think.

I need to wrap the covers of these books up in plastic!!
Ok, hopefully I can find time this Sunday night...:) Looking forward to it!

I always find joy in wrapping up the covers of my books...It makes them look smart and keeps them clean, tidy and sturdy. Now now, don't go giving me that weird look. I just think that we should all take care of our books and treat them with respect! Dog-eared books with creased and injured spines and tattered pages are a big no-no for me. :)

Excited and happy. :)

Mr Kyler Peck was born into this world to Alison, his beautiful mum and Keith, his proud dad, at 3:10pm today and weighing in at 3.615kg.

He is either sleeping soundly now in a crib at Thomson Medical Centre, or busy having a meal, or busy bonding with his proud parents.

And yours truly will get to see him tomorrow evening! :D

Congrats gal....:)))
Your wish for a rabbit baby came true!

Mama

We celebrated Granny's Chinese birthday today. It's her actual Chinese birthday - the 4th day of the lunar new year.

We gather each year at my aunt's place for lohei and potluck. And this year was no exception of course.

She's 96 this year if you're counting her age the Chinese way. And she's 95 if you're counting it in the Western way.

I don't know if she's had a happy fulfilling life. It's not up for me to say and only she herself can pass that verdict.

She led a harsh life all the way till her 30s or 40s...From being treated like a servant by her mum in a strict, traditional and matriachal Peranakan family. To having lost her husband in the Second World War after having been married for only less than a year and being heavily pregnant at the time. To having to give birth to my father in a tentage amidst the chaos of war in November 1942. To having to struggle to make ends meet and bring up 3 kids all by herself. To having lost her eldest son in a car accident just a few days after he turned 21.....

But I think the Gods have also blessed her and helped her from time to time.

Her late husband's sworn brother helped her out alot during the war and when she was bringing up the kids. All 3 kids grew up to be smart and filial and all became teachers, which was a much coveted for, well-paid and respected job during the 1960s. She's lived long enough to have 5 great-grandchildren now. And though the clarity of her mind comes and goes, she still has fond memories of all those years long gone and of all those people whom she once knew.

I told her this once "I love you Granny". I think it was last year. She just giggled at me and shushed me lol. It was one of her good days where she was quick of mind and was very chatty too haha.

She's been rather subdued lately and also quite confused. She kept calling my brother my father's name today.

I hope she cheers up soon and finds her spritely old self again.

Of wails and beams

And so. The 4 days of CNY holidays have come and are almost gone.

Some relatives have stopped giving me angpow. :( They told me I am big already, I should be getting married quickly, and hence, I shouldn't be getting angpows anymore. *wails*

A cousin said I have an angular face. I thought "angular" was used to describe men?? *wails*

An aunt said I have put on weight compared to last time. She said I have round cheeks. *wails*

My sister-in-law said I have mature looking hands i.e. old looking hands. She said my mum's hands look better than mine. But I moisturise everyday what!!!! *wails*

Oh. But then.

Another aunt said that the older I get, the better I look. *beams*

Another cousin said I am still slim and looking good. *beams*

I had (and will still have!!!) the "zi mo" luck in my mahjong games haha. *beams*

I had the chance to treat my brother's family to dinner. *beams*

Gastronomic Delights

• Pineapple Tarts
• Bak Kwa
• Kueh Lapis
• Heh Bee Hiam
• Cashew Nut Cookies
  
• Cuttlefish Slices
• Coconut Sweets
• Prawn Crackers
• Fish Keropok
• Berlinjau Keropok
• Tapioca Fried Sticks
• Agar Agar
• Fatt Choy
• Yu Sheng
• Fish Maw Soup
• Abalone
• Riesling
• Chardonnay
• Mango Cake
• Curry Chicken
• Chrysanthemum Tea
• Buah Keluak
  
• Kong Bah Pow
• Fried Bee Hoon
• Fried Vermicelli
• Sushi
  
• Sashimi
• Chawanmushi
  
• Green Tea
• Chye Tow Kueh
• Salad
• Chap Chye
• Pizza
• KFC
• Cereal Prawns
• Steamed Fish
• Tofu
• Sea coconut with white fungus
• Fried Rice

Um.

Just some of the things which went into my tummy since the eve of CNY.

Heh.

Industrious. Not.

I brought home some work to clear on the eve of CNY. Naively thinking I would have the time and discipline to complete most of it over the long CNY holidays.

Err, I attempted to clear some portions of it.

I. Tried. My. Best. To. Concentrate.

Ok, maybe it wasn't a very good attempt but I think the work which I managed to do is still passable. As for the rest of the work....errrr, they have remained untouched.

It happens every year.

Sheesh. And I don't know why I have not learned lol.

zzz

I couldn't sleep last night.

I was flipping around in bed for a good few hours till 3am.

May tonight bring me my much needed deep beauty sleep.

Good night world.

friends

I suddenly miss having lunch with Kelvin Han. Time flies darn fast.
It's been 1.5years since he left IDA.

We made a good team and took turns organising lunches and birthday gatherings. Even if others had their lunch appointments, most of the time, the two of us would still be the core two people who would go for lunch.

And there would thus be a regular lunch group.

These days...it's a dynamic lunch group...more dispersed..with certain factions forming.
And some rivalries/sensitivities between some people....It gets a little tiring trying to sync everyone up and make everyone happy.

Kel & I spoke a little over MSN this morning. He was working from home and thus could enjoy the luxury of having his MSN switched on while clearing work. We reminisced a little, talked rot a little and made a pact to have a gathering with some of the rest sometime in end March or early April.

I hope the gathering pulls through. It's be nice to get together again with some of those who have left....

:(

The weather is making me feel melancholic.
Cold and damp. Winds blowing. It's bringing my mood down.

I went to visit Gran after work just now. She was supposed to have been discharged but then she had some slight seizures and so had to be kept in the hospital. When I was there two nurses were changing her out of her dirty clothes.

She had wet herself again. Perhaps she's too used to having diapers in the nursing home. Or perhaps it's just old age and a general difficulty in controlling her bowels...Apparently, in the early afternoon, she didn't realise that she had shit on the bed. Dad was there and he told me about it.

When the nurses were done, she was feeling very cold and had huddled under the blanket. She also had on a black cardigan which had little yellow, blue and pink flowers sewn onto the front of the it. Very old-school and quite a nice cardigan actually. Adrian had gotten it for her as a Christmas present some years back. I think it was from Yue Hwa in Chinatown.

Anyway all she wanted to do was sleep and so all I could do was to stroke her head and pat he leg from time to time.

A senior staff nurse came after about 15mins and we both tried to wake her up for her dosage of 7-8 medicine pills, her nightly eye drops (a different type for each eye) and her nightly nasal puff (to aid in breathing and for clearing the airways).

She was grumpy. Fought with the nurse, swatted our hands away and declared that she wanted to sleep. "DON'T DISTURB ME" she growled in Malay. She then pulled the blanket over her head and hid under there, ignoring even me.

The senior staff nurse didn't want to agitate her anymore and left Gran as she was.

I couldn't do anything much and left soon after as well.

I don't know how to describe Granny actually. A feisty frail old lady?
Oxymoron leh..hmm.

Anyway, CNY plans are quite screwed up now. I was looking forward to staying at home and having visitors over on the first day because we were intending to bring Gran home. Adrian, Mei & Marc would go around visiting and representing our family.

Now it seems like the new plan is for the whole family to go out visiting together. All squeezed into one car, Adrian, Mei, Marc, Dad, Mum and myself. Sigh. I didn't get suitable clothes for going out....I bought something quite casual to be worn at home. Sigh. I forsee...a tedious 1st day for CNY.

Gran

It takes a lot of patience and understanding to care for patients. It takes an incredible amount of patience, understanding and strength to care for mentally-ill patients, physically disabled patients and elderly patients, especially those who have dementia.

I salute all the doctors, nurses and care-givers who have in one way or another, taken care of my granny in hospital or in the nursing home.

==========
Gran’s in hospital again. Been in there since Thursday last week for a gout attack on her right leg. And she had a suspected minor stroke on Saturday morning.

Those who visited her yesterday said she was doing fine. She could talk lucidly and crack jokes. She could understand things which were said to her and was aware of things in the real world.

I was there with Dad during lunch today.

She wasn’t doing good today. Physically almost okay but mentally out of sync.

When we arrived, we found her at the nurses’ station. She was strapped to a wheelchair and ranting about needing a nurse to phone her son. She saw us and recognized us. But she called my father her father, and she called me her daughter. Took her a few minutes to realize her mistake. But well, at least she did realise her mistake and could still remember my name thereafter.

We found out later on that she had climbed out of her bed and was tottering to the toilet on her own. Risk of falling is extremely high and risk of severe injuries from falling is equally high. Luckily a nurse saw her in time and since that incident, they had to put her in a wheelchair next to their station so that she wouldn’t sneak out of her bed anymore.

She was fixated on a particular thought that made zero sense. She kept saying that either Dad or Adrian was working in the hospital and she could ask the nurses to call either one to come and bring her home. She kept talking about this.

We tried distracting her by talking about other things but she would always go back to that.

Sometimes, she would speak and get so emotional and upset that her face turns red and I half-expect teardrops to fall. Said she'd be better off dead, amongst other things.

Sigh. It’s days like this when I feel helpless and sad.

Gatherings

And so another weekend goes by in a jiffy.

Thursday night was dinner with Daniel.
Friday night was a full 8-course Teochew Chinese dinner and lohei with the Duckies.
And Saturday night was a Thai dinner followed by drinks at Marina Mandarin Hotel with the sec sch gang.

Good few days. May there be many more good days to come in 2011. :)

p/s: been eating and eating and eating....more eating over CNY. *burp*

Conversations

Once upon a time....

C: f*** you lah
M: no cannot. I got hole but you got no stick
C: i can wear a strap-on
M: hahahahha


*to be continued*

Laments

I am a zombie today. With a stomach that is not doing too good. And a body that is retaining too much water.

Zombieness. I felt myself float through the crowds on the bus and the train station and in the train. I think I floated from the Promenade station to my office tower and somehow got to my floor and then to my desk. And now I feel like I’ve a piece of rock for my head, heavy and unwielding.

Slept late last night.

Discomfort. I think I need to install an internal reminder or internal warning system of some sort. Maybe some neuron could send a buzzing sound to my ear everytime I say yes to a glass of beer.

I forgot that in the last one to two years, I’ve developed an intolerance to beer. After having just one glass or mug or small bottle, my stomach will have an adverse reaction. Sometimes I am ok, most times I am not. It happened again last night when I was out for dinner with Daniel. I forgot and had beer…which resulted in me having a bad tummy this morning. I still feel bloated and uncomfortable…:(

Bloatedness. The discomfort of my tummy is further amplified by the general feeling of bloatedness. Something most women go through when that time of the month is drawing near. Oh why do my symptoms always change each cycle? It could be a breakout this time round, then it changes to bloatedness the next time round, and then after that aches and pains for the next cycle.
I think I might not achieve much at work today. Especially with 80% of my team being on leave or at reservist.

birthdays.

I don’t like it when some people come to you and tell you that their birthday is coming soon. Seriously, what are you expecting by broadcasting? A treat? A present?

And then there are others who treated you on your birthday and then suddenly reappears and asks you out for dinner sometime round their own birthday, expecting a treat back from you.

It is quite tiresome and it irks me.

LDR

Acronyms are part and parcel of my job. Yes, I'm a public servant.

So. LDR.

Long-Distance Relationship.

LDRs are not easy. One's here, the other's there. One's in this time zone, the other's in a time zone 7-8 hours slower than yours. When you're happy, you can't just call and share your joy immediately. When you're sad and things really get you down, you can't ring and pour out your sorrow. When you're frustrated about what life has to offer you, you can't just call and speak your mind.

It is really not a nice feeling when you find yourself down in the dumps and need someone to talk to or hold you but there isn't anyone. The loneliness and sadness you feel gets amplified multiple-fold.

But.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

You learn to cope. You learn to adjust. You learn to adapt. You learn to love the other party even more. You learn to appreciate the other party even more. Add a generous dash of committment and the equation balances itself.

I just heard of a couple who recently went their separate ways. Girl's overseas and guy's over here.

Other reasons were present though the split was largely due to them being in an LDR. I know the girl and I heard she wasn't taking it very well. Oh of course. Who would take such things well and easily? (except scumbags maybe) But I'm sure she'll bounce back in no time. She seems the resilient sort.

I'll admit. Though I do feel for the girl and can imagine the heartache she must be going through right now, secretly, I am just very thankful K & I have managed to work hard to keep things going. I really do appreciate his efforts and love him even more for it.

I am thankful too for the technology that has allowed us to keep in touch ever so often.
Skype, MSN, WhatsApp.

Oh I wish there were a teleporting device. Then couples in LDRs can teleport to each other in an instant. :)

Titles are cumbersome

I bought stuff today again. Small little things. To feed some of my interests haha.

- a bottle of plant food for African Violets (and yes Ally, I think this bottle will last me for years too...lol, unless you want to throw yours away and then I can give you half of my new bottle)
- a packet of cream-coloured pearl beads, each about 5mm in diameter
- a 1.3mm crochet needle

Yay, I'll have things to occupy me during CNY Day 1 when I'll be cooped up at home waiting for guests to arrive. We're bringing Granny home from the nursing home for that day so I'm expecting the relatives to come again this year.

Plus, I've just started on an interesting book set in 1940s and 1950s Hong Kong. Pre-war and post-war Hong Kong. From the eyes of rich Englishmen, rich Chinese and the Portugese. The socialites of that era. Interesting interesting interesting. :)

Buzz

I’m buzzing.

I don’t know if it’s the Chinese New Year festivities or the cosmic forces ushering in the Rabbit year. Perhaps it’s because a new year has started or the prospect of a bonus and increment coming in April. I don’t know.

But I’m buzzing. I feel it in my strides. I feel it in the energy flowing through me. I feel it on the tiny hairs on my skin.

Maybe it’s just the medication. Maybe it’s the crisp winds blowing everyday now. Maybe, just maybe, it’s the shopping which I’ve been doing almost everyday for the past week or so.

It could be....
The anticipation of K coming over in Feb. :)

Daiso-liciously Fun!

I went to Daiso after work today. The one at Plaza Singapura.

I spent a lovely lovely 1hour plus looking through the aisles and aisles of things that they have. From knick-knacks to toys to cosmetics to crockery to cutlery to DIY things to gardening tools to stationery to fabrics to food to toiletries to socks to hats to bags to cushions to...gosh the list seems non-exhaustible...(is there such a word? non-exhaustible? oh nvm, you get what I mean)

And each item at only $2...I could go bonkers in there.

But due to time constraints and to a little voice nagging at me that no I don't actually need a toilet seat cover or a net to keep out insects, I ended up with only 19 items. And thus only spent $38 in the shop.

I think I might go back soon. Hehe. And go on a rampage in there. Perhaps.

I don't have pictures of the things that I got...but here's a simple list based on memory...

- gift wrapper @ 2 different types
- a pretty envelope with greenish flowers on it
- a small spade for gardening
- a small bottle with a curved nozzle for gardening
- a small red pouch with japanese traditional art on it
- a face cleansing device which has tiny rubber bristles to clear your pores of dirt and other sebaceous materials
- an octupus flavoured snack
- a pair of stockings
- a table cloth which was supposed to be used for placing your cutlery on but which I will use to cover my laptop in office
- 2 ceramic cups which were originally meant for drinking out of but which I use for bu8ilding more terrariums
- a packet of coloured post-it-pads
- a 50cm long piece of white sopnge for my mum to do her cleaning with
- 2 balls of thick thread, one pink and one pale green for me to do some crocheting with
- a packet of small white cobble stones/pebbles for me to build my terrariums with


That's 17 items already.....but for the life of me, I cannot remember what the last 2 items are haha.....:)

Till here. For the Shell needs her beauty sleep.

Tsk Tsk

This second round of cough medication is rather strong.

It knocked me out at 11pm last night and I didn’t wake till the sun came streaming into my room. I slept through two alarms. As a result, I reached office at 930am today.

Gosh, I’m getting less and less punctual for work. I need to work harder on this.
Perhaps sleeping earlier will help? Hmm.

My little garden

Terrariums are supposed to be easy to care for. Fittonias are hardy indoor plants and are supposed to be easy to care for too.

I have no idea how, in my month-long absence, my mum managed to almost destroy one of my open-air terrariums. It's the smallest terrarium somemore, just a small little jar which used to house preserved soy beans.

Sigh, I told her not to water it anymore since I'm back. She watered it anyway. And didn't bother taking notice of how water-logged it already was. I discovered, to my horror, that the water level was above the soil. My plants were SWIMMING in muck. And she didn't notice it.

Sigh.

And they were probably waterlogged alot of times during my absence. One can tell by looking at their stems and leaves. You know those science experiments we did in primary school where you take a white rose, stick it in blue colour water and its leaves and petals start turning blue after a day or two? Well the plants in this terrarium had stems which were brown in colour and some of the leaves were half brown too, after having taken in too much muddy water.

So I spent my whole afternoon saving this terrarium. Took out the plants and repotted them elsewhere. Transplanted newer, younger and fresher stalks of fittonias into the jar instead. And of course I drained out as much water as I could.

Repotted my other pots of fittonias into larger pots and also the plant that Ally gave me last night. Hehe, so sweet, she gave me one of her pots of African Violets. Yay new plant for me! :)

Oh yes, did I mention my mum also murdered my cactus? I came back last Friday to see a grey-brown looking lump of what-used-to-be-vegetation instead of my fresh green cactus. Sigh, no cactuses for the time being till I get my other plants in order.

I might need to stock up on my soil, sphagnum moss, activated charcoal, and pebbles hmmm.
Maybe I might need some more pots too, prettier ones. Ally gave me an idea, I'll visit Daiso tomorrow to see what deals I can get there. :D

Ayam Buah Keluak

It has been a tradition in my family since eons ago. Since I was old enough to remember, we've always had Ayam Buah Keluak as one of the main dishes during CNY. Nothing too strange about it since I grew up in a household strongly influenced by Peranakan practices. My Granny's Peranakan for the uninitiated.

Granny used to helm this task each year. She'd do almost everything herself and I remember running around in the kitchen watching her prepare this dish when I was young. (Mind you, this is a dish which is tedious to prepare and needs alot of effort.)

That was up until the time when she didn't have the strength anymore to cook and prepare everything. And then my mum took over. With Granny giving instructions by the side or doing the simple things like chopping up the spices to be used for the gravy paste.

And then the time came when Granny couldn't even handle a knife. Mum took over completely. And it was around that time as well when Dad & I were roped in as helpers.....that was at least 5-6 years ago or it could have been longer.

Anyway it was no different this year. Mum & Dad bought the nuts at a Bedok South stall about 2 weeks back at $0.30 for each nut. About a week ago, Mum scrubbed them clean and soaked them in a pot of water.

This morning, Dad & I set about our arduous task of "tackling" the nuts. Dad, with his trusty screwdriver and heavy duty hammer, cracked open the nuts and I, with my trusty metal plier, would pry open the cracks further and enlarge the holes in the nuts, till the holes were big enough to fit a finger inside.

After the nuts were cracked open, we then had to scrape out all the contents within. Mum would then mix fish paste with the nut fillings. Dad & I then had to fill the empty nutshells up again with this new prepared buah keluak paste.

In the meantime, Mum would be frying the spices and getting the gravy base ready. And preparing the chicken drumsticks and chicken pieces to be thrown in together with the buah keluak.

By the time Dad & I were done, it was already close to 12pm. 2.5hours of work just to prepare the nuts.

And Mum still had to cook them in the soup base together with the chicken pieces.

By the time she was done, it was already 2-something close to 3pm.

5hours of work.

3 person's efforts.

2 big pots of Ayam Buah Keluak.

Nonya dishes are really tedious to prepare.

Maybe that's why they taste so so good.

And oh yes, we saved a tupperware of it for someone who's salivating in Europe right now. ;p

My Sunday

It was a tiring day. Up till late afternoon at least.

I woke early at 8-something which never happens on a Sunday morning. I set my alarm clock to wake me up that's why. ;p Checked my office email, harvested the crops in my Smurfs village and then read some of today's newspapers.

Came 930am and it was time to start the family tradition. Oh, at least it's a tradition between my parents and I. The annual Ayam Buah Keluak cooking session. Tedious thing but that's gonna be a whole post on its own.

Anyway, finished that by lunch time, had my lunch, rested awhile. And then it was gardening time. I was at it for a good 2.5hours. Details to be shared later. After bonding time with my plants, it was a quick shower and then bonding time with K.

:) It was morning in London and he had to sit at his hotel's lounge which was the only place that had WIFI in the whole building. Skyped for an hour and then it was dinner.

I spent dinner camped out in front of the TV and watching an episode of the new Korean serial showing on KBS Channel 115. Finished that and then...

Voila, here I am in front of the PC again. :) I just popped my antibiotics and had my cough syrup which would guarantee a drowsy me by the time 945pm comes. Just nice for bedtime anyway.

Strange

2010 was a strange year. In the sense that nothing major happened in my life. No significant milestone, no big events.

Since 2004, there has been something significant happening in my life each year. Be it a positive or negative event, there would definitely be something big happening each year.

For 2010 however, nothing major occurred. Nothing I could say which made a big impact on my life. The year was surprisingly calm, plain and simple.

Hmm. I wonder what 2011 has in store for me.

Year 2010

In gist.

I visited a number of cities, tried their cuisines, walked their streets, sat on their public transport, admired their architecture, visited their churches, explored their museums and bought their souvenirs. Kuala Lumpur, Brussels, Amsterdam, Los Angeles, Cartagena, Nice, Paris, Geneva, London, Venice and Rome. My fridge door has been lovingly adorned with magnets from different cities. :)

Some long-lost friends found me on Facebook. Some other friends went MIA, two of whom somehow missed my birthday even though they did not for the last 10 years. Kept things going with those who matter and love them even more.

I turned 30. And had a fantastic time celebrating with friends, colleagues and family. And I even had a virtual celebration with K too haha. I don’t feel 30 though. My mind seems to be stuck in my 20s. Denial? I don’t know. ;p

Started a mini gardening project and am still keeping it up!Cactuses and fittonias for the time being as they’re hardier plants and relatively easy to care for. Alison just gave me a pot of African Violets too. :)

Jogging also distanced itself from me in the last quarter of the year…wait, or was it the other way around hmm. ;p

I redid my entire room in June! Tore out my old furniture, put in new ones. All major furniture are dark brown in colour which is my favourite colour for furniture. Repainted the whole room in two shades of yellow. Threw out many old things and kept minimal items. Redecorated everything. Minimal items, minimal clutter.

Read more than 12 books (I think). Both fiction and non-fiction. Some were thoroughly enjoyable. Others were just forgettable. Bought a lot of books, at least 15 of them. Some in French, a majority in English. I’ll enjoy them slowly over the course of 2011.

My grand-aunt, passed away in May. My granny’s younger sister. I visited her in hospital 12 hours before theLord took her away. I spoke to her and I hope she heard me even though she had been in a coma for almost a day by then. The experience brought me a little closer to some of my cousins. Felt rather sad but I guess that’s life. I am just glad she led a good life and had very filial grandchildren.

Managed to strive on with French classes. Oui, et je pense encore que cette langue est tres difficile!

I saw the pope! Well, almost. I missed him by 10 minutes and had to watch him from a video outside the St Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican City haha.

Cooked Loh Mai Gai (glutinous rice) for the first time and it turned out quite nice actually. :)

Permed my hair for the first time in my life.

Kept up my weekly visits to Granny. Except for the times I was traveling. I’ve lit candles and also prayed on her behalf in churches in Venice, Rome and Paris.

Embarked on a month-long break from work. The first time I’ve had such a long break. And no, the month-long MC in 2005 after my major operation does not count. I went travelling in Europe. And lived the life with K. I felt happy, fortunate and blessed to be able to take such a lovely break.

Other things probably happened in 2010. I can’t really recall. Then again, if I cannot recall, they might have been insignificant. :D

Narcissism and the Weekend Ahead!

I had a happy time doing something I've not done for a long time.
I was trying on all the new clothes which I'd gotten myself over the past week.

Yes, the narcissist in me appears quite often these days lol. Maybe the Europe trip had something to do with it. Hmm ;p

It's a happy Friday. :)
And I'm looking forward to the weekend ahead. Especially tomorrow evening with Ally & PQ.
It's catch up time for the girls!

Sunday will be a cooking day as my parents and I need to start preparing for the Ayam Buah Keluak dish that we have annually during CNY. Sunday will be D-Day where we will crak the nuts open, enlarge the holes, dig out the meat inside, mix the meat with fish paste and prawn paste, and then stuff the meat inside the nut shells again. Yum. :)

The Man

I miss K. Wonder what he is doing now.
He's in London for a career fair. So I really hope it was a fruitful day for him.

Great Friday Night!

It wasn't a fruitful day in the office. I was sleepy and simply had no mood to think or do any form of work. I did some filing and cleared up abit of the papers on my table. Replied some emails, finished up my self-appraisal, advised some of my staff on some areas they weren't sure of and that was about it.

I also went to see the doctor again this afternoon as I still have a slight cough and stuffy nose.

But it was a different story after work. I spent time on my own. I went shopping and participated in a lucky draw. And then I had a slow quiet dinner on my own at Coffee Club at Millenia Walk.

In between 6pm till 915opm when I left town, I managed to:

- Get myself 2 dresses, 2 belts, 2 tops and 1 skirt
- Get my annual must-buy: Lilian Too's 2011 Horoscope for the Monkey
- Finish up the book "Freakonomics" by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner
- Edit my CV (though it was done on hard copy and I'd have to amend the soft copy later on)
- Do up a blogpost (on hard copy again)
- Sort through some thoughts
- Listen to Korean jazz
- Get supper for my parents
- Have my favourite seafood bisque soup from Coffee Club
- Participate in a lucky draw
- Visit a small exhibition area in Suntec where they were showcasing various breeds of absolutely adorable rabbits

I thought it was a very fruitful night. And I was feeling happy spending time alone on my own and managing to do and complete most of the things I set out to do.

Whee! :)

Mr Ding

I had dinner with TH today. It was a last minute thing and he called me up since he was hanging around Raffles City. We ended up at Botejyu at the basement of the mall.

The set meals we had were quite nice actually! I ordered a tofu hamburger steak and it came with a Japanese pancake, a bowl of miso soup, a bowl of rice and some accompanying sauteed bean sprouts.

The steak was actually tofu and minced pork mixed together and shaped into a patty. It was marinated in a slightly sweet, slightly salty brown sauce. The Japanese pancake had seafood in it and was mixed with flour and cabbage.

It was a lovely meal with great company! Hhahaha...
I'm happy for him. He's gotten himself a job! And is starting work next week! After close to 4 months of rest.

Hmm, what's this with friends all finding jobs. Yesterday it was Purpleskies and today's it's TH. Tomorrow? Hmmm...lol.

Anyway, the highlight was that I discovered we'll be neighbours at work pretty soon!!! He'll be at Alexandra too! So after I shift office in end April, I'll be at the second building in front of his building.

Wheee! Another lunch kaki! :)))

Little Mr K

This is exciting. :D

Alison’s gonna pop in the next 2 weeks plus. Hee…the first baby in our group!
And a big baby at that! Apparently he’s weighing about 3.3kg now. I think that’s quite huge actually as it works out to be more than 7pounds! There’s still about 2 weeks more to go, I wonder if he’ll grow somemore…hmm.

PQ & I are going over to her place this Saturday. I told PQ, if Alison happens to pop while we’re there, then we might need to morph into midwives. Hehe. :)

I won't reveal the little one's name yet. But yes, he's another K.... haha.

Lol, Pq, Ally and I each have our own Ks. :D

My Dreams

I realise I have recurring dreams.

All my dreams almost always fall into two categories. It would either be in a school or varsity hostel environment, or it would be a crime scene/puzzle and I would be one of the investigators or police officer assigned to the case.

And all, if not most, of the dreams would involve me feeling a sense of anxiety or fear or being perplexed.

The dreams in school or hostel usually involve me trying to find my way somewhere or I would be walking/running past long corridors and or room doors.

The crime dreams always involve violent crimes like murder or assault. None of them have ever involved petty crimes like theft or vandalism.

And in all my dreams, there will be people I know. I've dreamt of sec sch people, uni folks, ex and current colleagues, relatives, my immediate family, etc.

And I always have first party dreams. That is, I am seeing things from my perspective and not through the eyes of a third party. I do not see myself in the dream but I see through my own eyes. Do I make sense here?

Anyway, I find it slightly disturbing that my dreams almost always fall into these two types.

Hmm.

Bans

There are souvenir T-shirts with the phrase “Singapore is a fine city” emblazoned across the front in big bold letters. There have been jibes about the tons of different types of fines there are in Singapore. Pretty soon, there’ll be a whole laundry list of things which are banned too.

Some existing bans which we are all too familiar with include the ban on chewing gum and the ban on smoking in various public places.

As with all restrictions imposed on Singaporeans, when these bans were first imposed, those who were affected griped, moaned, complained, sulked and cried their little hearts out. But still grew to live with the restriction eventually.

Not much of a choice anyway right? The people in white call the shots. Oh. Opps. I mean the government calls the shots.

And then there is the other category. Bans imposed by private entities.

A few of these have come under the spotlight recently. You hear about it on the radio, you read about it in the papers and online. People are complaining about human rights, unfair treatment, discrimination, yada yada. I read their comments with amusement.

For one, some restaurants in Singapore are banning children in their premises. And the number of restaurants going in this direction seems to be increasing. Their reason? Rowdy kids are a turn-off for other patrons.

For the other, 8 out of 10, if not all, condomimiums in Singapore are banning domestic helpers from using their swimming pools. Their reason? These domestic helpers always flout the rules. What rules? I don’t know, the reports did not elaborate. Maybe domestic helpers in bikinis and swimsuits lead to men going astray?

Anyway.

The former ignited a huge backlash from the community. Needless to say, especially from young parents and would-be young parents. Hell hath no fury like um, a parent denied his/her few remaining and rapidly depleting social excesses?

I say rapidly depleting because it seems like most peoples’ social lives dip drastically after a child appears in their lives. Correct me if I am wrong. But I don’t know any parent who still keeps playing mahjong from dusk to dawn every weekend after having a child.

I digress.

Class 95 deejay Glenn Ong has his own views on children and their parents. He said one day on the Morning Express that parents who do not know how to keep their kids in check should be banned from having children in the first place.

The devil in me agrees wholeheartedly. My blood pressure rises each time I see parents either ignoring or allowing their ill-behaved kids to continue behaving like spoilt brats or raving monkeys.

Then again, there are also the parents who manage to rein in their children and keep in them control. For these parents who cannot bring their children to a certain restaurant anymore and are unhappy about that fact, I say, no choice. Suck thumb lor. Live with it. Hey, I couldn’t have my chewing gum too because some assholes kept sticking their chewed up gums in between lift doors and on lift buttons.

A few inconsiderate black sheep leads to the whole herd being ostracized and penalised. Life’s unfair. Nobody ever said it was. :)

The latter ban. Domestic helpers not being able to use a condominium’s swimming pool.

Class 95 opened it up for discussion. Needless to say, a whole flurry of comments came in. Some for, most against. Most listeners seemed appalled at the discrimination. And said that it wasn’t a discrimination against race or anything. It was a discrimination against an occupation. (Strange how these people didn’t use the word “profession”.)

I agree that while such a ban seems discriminatory, a condo manager did highlight that most condos will still allow domestic helpers to use the pools, especially when they need to take care of the kids under their charge. But they will not hesitate to tell them to leave if they flout any rules or if any other condo resident complains.

Seems fair enough for me if these condos allow some bending of their own restrictions. Like most restrictions and rules, they are there not to be enforced all the time. But to allow someone to be able to enforce if and when the need to arises. In Singlish terms, “I close one eye but if people complain then I will catch.”

=========

I am under medication and am half drowsy.

It’s strange how much crap I can type out under the influence of drugs.I don't know if I am making sense actually. I let my fingers do the typing.

Oh, I am high.

Sigh

I don’t know if I have changed or friends have changed. Perhaps we have all changed. And with changes come adjustments which can be easy or difficult depending on how much emotions are involved and depending on how much people accept that you have changed.

It is rare that friends have brought me tears of sadness. But it has happened before on a few occasions. Today is one occasion.

I don’t feel good now. Not at all. And it’s made even worse because today is my last day at work before I go on leave. I have things to clear but cannot concentrate on them properly.

Sometimes I wonder if I am taken for granted. Sometimes I wonder if I take people for granted. Sometimes I wonder why I am not an expressive person. When it comes to unhappy things with friends, I tend to dust things under the carpet or accept it with a shrug. Less is more ain’t it? More tolerance, less words, more compromise and acceptance = more harmony no?

For such a close friendship which has lasted a long long time and has seen and weathered its own storms, I hope this incident is only a small hurdle to cross.

Feeling tired, didn't want to work, hence...

Back in SG. Since Monday.

I remember watching several in-flight movies while on the way back home.
- Hanamizuki, a lovely Japanese film
- The Other Guys, finished watching the second half of the show
- Never Let Me Go, a movie base don dystopian ideals, somewhat eerie and disturbing at times, a little arty farty, based on a novel by Kazuo Ishiguro
- Charlie St. Cloud, I have to say Zac Efron did a good job here haha

It's been a busy time since touching down.

Was clearing a major piece of work, running around buying things for the trip and then packing at night. All the while feeling stoned and jetlagged on Monday and Tuesday.

It's Thursday already. Time really flies.

In less than 60 hours I will be flying off again. To see my baby in Nice. :)

I’m really keeping my fingers crossed that the weather doesn’t go any colder than it already is. I’m hoping hard for the snow to be light, light enough for all airports and planes to still operate. :)

Counting down to a white Christmas too. I’ve never seen real snow before and this will be the first time that I am spending Christmas away from home too. I’m glad I managed to settle all the family presents before going away...

It’s been 3.5months since K went over. Can’t wait. :)
It’s a pity his apartment doesn’t have fireplace. It’ll really be lovely to sit in front of it sipping hot chocolate and wrapped up in a warm blanket.

But oh the packing. Too many things. Too small a luggage. I've discovered the wonder of ziploc bags though. Am trying to see if I can squeeze in some cup noodles...and some creams...and I don't know if I need another pair of boots...and I don't know if I need another jacket...

Day 5 – 8th December Colombian time

Same old, same old. Meetings. Conferences. Taking notes. Felt quite tired by 4-plus in the afternoon and went back to the room to sleep till 6-plus. Dinner was a

Met a guy from Tunisia. Conversed a little in French with him but I didn’t really dare to talk freely lol. Paiseh of my broken French.

Colombian men & women
The men & women here are quite good looking. But only a small number of them, the fairer ones. Quite sensuous and model-like. But a great majority of them are dark-skinned and seem rough. Alot of pear-shaped, heavy bottomed women walking around. My colleague said it's a major turn-off lol.

Food
For those times that food is sponsored, I hardly have an idea what I am eating. Prawns are easily identifiable, as are meats. But things like rice, vegetables, and other tubers are quite difficult to identify. I was having fritters last night. I think they coul dhave been either sweet potato, bananas or tapiocas. As my friend from China said "Don't judge the food. Don't look. Just eat and swallow." Hahaha...

They have strong tastes here I think. Food is either very salty or very sweet.

Mozzies
My right foot has been a target for hungry mosquitoes. It's like as if word got around amongst them. I found close to 12 bites on the top of my right foot. And only there. No bites on the rest of my anatomy. Strange. Very strange.

Hotel Staff
The hotel staff know me by name. They see me and greet me with a cheery "Hello Miss Michelle!" Lol...and they also know me as the girl who asks for hot (drinking) water to be sent to her room almost everyday or every other day. ;p Oh yes, and the restaurant staff know me as the Chinese lady who takes tea (and not coffee) for her breakfast meal. Lol.
They are a nice bunch of people, especially the young boys Harold and Juan at the reception. Maybe I will take a photo with them before I leave this place.... :)

Day 4 – 7th December Colombian time

It was a productive day. I had a one-on-one meeting followed by a full day of conference sessions. Managed to keep awake and follow thorugh with most of the discussions and topics which were being presented. Managed to clear some work in between. And managed to meet-up with some overseas friends as well.

Had a sponsored dinner event and it was another lovely affair. I was at a table with Mexicans, a Spaniard, a guy from Costa Rica, another from Venezuela and another from Puerto Rico. It’s always interesting meeting people from different cultures and places. You learn that some fads are not only in your little island but are happening around the world too. Haha.

Told my parents about me sitting with these Latino men and my Dad's first reaction was to sak "Are they tikopeks?" ahahaha...

Caught up with old friends, by old meaning I’ve known them for around 3 years, haha…and met some new ones. :)

Day 3 – 6th December Colombian time

Not doing too good today. Am feeling jet-lagged and getting quite sick of eating bread, sandwiches, cheesy stuff and pasta. I miss my bee tai bak.

Spent a part of the afternoon in the hotel room accessing the meeting remotely.

Day 2 - Sunday 5th Dec Colombia Time.

Didn’t get a good night’s rest. There was some event going on around the hotel and booming music was going on till maybe 2-plus in the morning. Woke, skyped with K, and then went to the meeting venue to register myself and collect the goodie bag. :)

Took a walk by myself after that when I went back to the hotel. Opps, I broke my promise. Told my parents I’d not walk alone but ah well…nevermind lah hehe.

The Streets, Buildings and Vendors
The streets were alright, though with shady characters lurking around various street corners and street vendors plying their trade everywhere. Pushcarts, people carrying trays and walking around, motorcycles with a tray attached behind, hawkers, people with necklaces and bracelets strung on themselves, etc. All just trying to earn their living. And oh yes, some beggars here and there.

These people approach you and since I, being Asian, stick out like one big sore thumb, I was approached more often than not. Modus operandi was to play dumb, smile and walk away. They ask if I speak English, I’d just shake my head and smile. Eventually they’ll move off. The good thing is these people don’t touch you or try to pull you to their stalls. Unlike some of the other countries I’ve been to where they hold you and try to pull you to their wares.

The buildings are quite nice actually, all low-lying 2 or 3 storey buildings. Some colourful in yellow, red, green or blue hues. Others are just plan white. With railings and overhanging balconies and some with flowers trailing along the balcony railings.

Weather
Sunny, warm and much like Singapore. Except with more breeze as this place is just next to the Caribbean sea. Big bright blue skies with lots of white fluffy clouds. But it gets dark here early, probably around 5-plus.

People
There are whites, blacks and browns. Some of the brown-skinned people look like Filipinos, some fairer ladies look like Asians. Some of the really dark-skinned people look and talk like Jamaicans. Maybe they really are…I don’t know.

They can’t speak English well and most folk only one or two words of English. Which makes it extremely difficult to order food or buy things when you’re outside. It’s the same with cab drivers. They can’t speak English.

The ladies are really booby. Even the young girls are. I feel like I’ve got nothing when I stand next to them. Didn't really notice the men though haha...

The Start – Country Hopping, Movies and Bloodshot Eyes

It's the 4th of December now I think according to South American timing. Not too sure as I've been travelling across time zones. It gets very confusing really.

I feel dirty, oily, sticky and smelly as I sit here typing this. I am currently in Panama, sitting in an airport café with a cup of hot chocolate. Yeps, I am in South America, waiting for my last connecting flight to bring me into Colombia and into the city of Cartagena. By the way, it is pronounced as “Car-Tah-Hay-Nah”. :)

It has been an arduous journey so far. I started out at SG time 830am when I arrived at Changi Airport. That was the 3rd of December. Looking at my watch now, it is just past 12midnight on the 5th of December back home. Yeps, I’ve spent about 40 hours on the road so far. And will need to spend at least another 6 hours before I reach my hotel. (That’s about how long I’d have gone without a shower.) Fucking inefficient to spend 2 days to get to a conference venue.

I went from SG to Tokyo to Los Angeles. Had a 14-hour layover in LA and so we rented a car and went to some factory outlets to walk around in between. Came back to the airport and caught another flight to Panama where I am now. And I’ll be hopping onto another flight to get to Cartagena in Colombia about 4 hours later.

That’s friggin 5 cities within 4 separate flights within 3 continents within 2 days lah. Ugh.

The flight from SG to Tokyo had numerous delays due to a technical glitch. It was something about the auxiliary power supply accidentally shutting down. Definitely somehting which I’ve never experienced with Singapore Airlines. Flight from Tokyo to LA was punctuated with lots of turbulence in the first 2-3 hours. Felt like puking. Had the vomit bag within close reach just in case. Thank god I managed to keep everything in my gut.

The air stewardesses serving me on both SQ flights were also uncharacteristically rude. Maybe rude is too strong a word. Unwilling or “Buay Gam Guan” might be a better description. This is another something which I’ve never experienced with SQ. All SQ girls I’ve seen are smiley and very willing to help. Nevermind if they curse at passengers in private, at least they are professional in front of passengers. Not the two which I saw on my flights this time round. Both had perpetual black faces and were quite domineering when dealing with guests. Oh anyway….

I am holding out well so far…except for a scratchy throat and bloodshot eyes. It isn’t exactly fun trying to sleep intermittently on various flights. I may have had only had less than 15 hours of sleep in all. I’ve also lost myself in the days, dates and different time zones. I am literally flying back in time. LA is 16 hours behind SG and South America is 13 hours behind SG.

Oh yes, and my hair’s in a mess. Oh yes, my mind isn’t functioning as fast as it needs to. Oh yes, the backs of my ears are hurting cos I’ve had my spectacles on the entire time. Oh yes, I look quite nerdy too. Oh yes, my nose is a little leaky too from the cold weather in LA. Oh yes, my lips and hands are a little wrinkly and chapped from the dry air in the planes.

Did I already mention that I am holding out well so far? Sorry, my mind is functioning as well as it should be. Oh wait, did I say that already too? Hmm.

I watched three movies and a half on the SQ flights. “Eat, Pray, Love”, “Killers” starring Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl who were both extremely good-looking, and “Step Up 3”.

“Eat, Pray, Love” was a little draggy at times but I have to say it made me think about some things. “Killers” was quite funny asnd Katherine Heigl has proved that she’s got some comic talent within her. Ashton Kutcher was hot. Put the both of them together and voila…gorgeousness. “Step Up 3” was……entertaining enough. For only the dance battles and the dance scenes. The plot was horrid, lacked any depth whatsoever, and could have been written by a pre-pubescent girl.

I also watched “The Other Guys” halfway which explains the “half a movie”. Will try to finish it up on my return trip back home. Will also try to catch “Wall Street 2” and “Charlie St. Cloud”.

Speaking of which, I hope I won’t be too jet-lagged when I finally get my bum back home to Singapore and hope I can get enough rest before my next trip begins.

Mind Over Body

It is time for Vitamin C again. And loads of water.

Off with you, bloody sorethroat!! You're affecting my concentration at work!!

Thoughts. About Work.

It does suck a little when your boss claims your credit in front of the even bigger bosses. However small that credit may be.

It does not pay to be always the nice person.

Grapevines and gossip get you nowhere. But it does not harm to build up some small relationships here and there through such chatter. You never know when you need a helping hand.

Work-life balance is important. Enough said.

When in doubt, ask. When you're still in doubt, you either ask somemore and risk being labelled a bimbo, or shut up and pray to god to help you figure things out.

I've taken both paths. Figuring things out on your own does bring more satisfaction. But I've also come to realise that sometimes, two heads are definitely better than one.

A clear head and mind brings out the best results. I've been careless and distracted in recent times. And I mentally slap myself each time I discover a silly mistake I make.

People management is just as important as time and project management. From managing your boss to your peers to your support personnel to external parties to internal customers to colleagues from other divisions.

Procrastination. The taboo word in work. But I seem to be embracing it with all my heart. Especially for work items I dislike. This should not be happening though. I should be saying that I will change this trait. But I'd be lying to myself. So, in the spirit of honesty and truthfulness, I declare that I will try changing and improving but any positive result is unlikely to happen.

Till here.

Le sommeil m'evade

Je me suis couché sur mon lit pendant une heure.
J’ai essayé de s’endormir. Mais je ne peut pas et je ne sais pas pourquoi ca.
J'ai regardé dehors les fenetres, au ciel de la nuit qui est rose ce soir.
Je me suis surpris parce qu'il y a eu des larmes dans les coins de mes yeux.
J'ai pleuré. Tout seul. Silencieusement.
Ma coeur n'a pas été calme ce soir. Mais encore, je ne sais pas pourquoi.
Ah ben, peut-être j'essayerai encore de s'endormir.
J'espere que s'endormir bientot et tout les choses seront bien...

The Perennial Helper

I just started up an excel file and saved it as "The Perennial Helper".

As corny as it sounds, it is a tabulation of all the weddings I've helped out at. After being activated to help out at yet another wedding next month, I finally decided that perhaps I should list all of them down.

For posterity. Haha.

Some insights I gleaned from my list:

• My helper services officially started back in 2001 with my brother's wedding. I have excluded those weddings which had me as a flower girl when I was a young girl. I think there were two of those.
• Including the weddings happening next year for which I have been booked for my *ahem* excellent services haha, I would have helped out in a grand total of 11 weddings.
• Out of these 11 weddings, I would have manned the reception counter 9 times, which makes it an overwhelming more than 80% of the time. I've been duly advised that I am either pleasant looking enough, or I know enough people to do a good job, or I have done it so many times I am an obvious choice.

I have been pre-booked for 2 weddings happening next year and expect another "booking" to come in.

I have had a shirt tailored for me when I was a "brother" but surprisingly, no dresses sponsored for me haha.

I have helped at wet rainy weddings, hot sunny weddings and cloudy day weddings.

My services have been rendered at various locations all over Singapore like Bishan, Serangoon, Tampines, Jurong West, Ang Mo Kio, St Michael's, Hougang, Sengkang, Rochester, .......

And I have been a "sister", a "brother", a receptionist, an emcee, a main coordinator, a tea-lady, an umbrella holder, a wedding gown train holder, a guardian of ang pows, an usher.....you name it.

Voila, the life of a wedding helper.

Silly me.

I couldn't wake up this morning. Felt heavy and was aching a little.
Stood outside my door and contemplated the idea of taking an MC so I could sleep the whole day away....Somehow, I didn't.

And so I made my way to the office. Reluctantly dragging my feet like a little girl not wanting to go to school.

I "floated" my way through the day. Did some work. By some, I mean minimal.
Answered a few calls, replied a few emails. And felt the same aches in my neck and schoulders.

By evening, a sore throat had developed. Hmm, "heaty" I thought and chugged more water.

I went home and sat at my desk. Stared at myself in the mirror and felt the same tiredness as in the morning. I was deciding whether to go for my jog. Run the tiredness off, I said to myself.

And so, like a dutiful servant, I changed, did my warm-ups and went for a short jog. By mid-point, my legs felt like lead. By the time I reached home, I was half jogging, half walking.

I warmed down. Went back home. Had dinner, watched a TV serial.

And then discovered that.

I was running a slight fever. :(

Silly me.

I might have been running a slight fever the entire day without knowing. :(