The horror when you brush your teeth and glance at the mirror and suddenly realise you have 2 horizontal lines on your forehead...you rub at them and they don't go away.....on closer inspection, they seem deep....and they seem like those forehead lines you see on older (much older) folks....
I'm ok with laugh lines and even eye wrinkles...but forehead...dun wan lah..............
Oh the horror. :(
Will they fill up and fill out if I put on some weight? hmm...
半热半冷，是要病了吗？
昨晚泻肚子，隔了一晚肚子还是有点怪。。身体累累的。。。
希望再过一会儿会好些。。
Stomach felt a little off in the morning yesterday but it was still ok, so I think I subconsciously ate more (greedy)....... and I may have unwittingly overworked it thereafter.
I had lunch outside (just simple fish noodles), pork floss bun in the afternoon, dinner....and then pineapple tarts (where I usually take only 1/4 of whatever jam is on the tart)...
When 845pm came...I felt those familiar but forgotten feelings...those stirrings and pain pangs that come and go in the tummy.....where you know and you tell yourself...."ok xiao liao...it's coming"....
And so...stomach spoil time again...
Dealing with functional dyspepsia is a pain in the ass. I eat clean most of the time...and get to cheat every once in a while with fast foods, and other junk foods...sometimes when I least expect it, it hits....but sometimes I know myself that I got too greedy and loaded up on too much junk...自找 sometimes....
Anyway, just have to accept this "condition" and manage it bit by bit....
Compared to 2019, I think I'm doing much better already....
2nd time I received a call from Alyssa's childcare centre this week. Every time they call me...I jump, then take a deep breath and brace myself. In case I need to drop everything and get her from school.
More so this week cos K is away for reservist.
Anyway, I am thankful both calls were just to inform me of her falls and tumbles. No bruises or scratches or bleeding. Just slight aches and pain at the areas that were bumped.
May the little girl continue to be blessed, healthy and happy always....
I wrote “….has come back to us on….”
Boss changed it
to “….has came back to us on….”
Sigh.
To tell him he’s
wrong? Or leave it since it’s internal minutes only.
Pick your
battles…..
Think I’ll just
leave it....
When you tend to be a zombie in the mornings
When your attention is divided between getting the kid to put on her shoes and trying to get a taxi on Grab
And when you're also trying to listen to what your kid is trying to tell you
When you're relaxing downstairs waiting for the cab to come
And then when the cab finally comes
And you realise to your greatest horror
That you've forgotten your kid's schoolbag
That you need to seek the taxi uncle's understanding to wait that few minutes more
That you need to unlock the gate again and sprint back home with kid in tow
That you need to call your helper while sprinting
To get her to at least bring the bag down to the 1st floor lobby to save some time
That in the midst of this sprinting through the carpark you still need to ensure your kid is safe and not in some car's way
Oh....what a morning lol...
Kinda winded me a little and made me breathless, partly cos of the sudden rush of things and party cos of the sprints to and from the gate...
Said kid was Alyssa and she was a little bewildered by the rush too haha...
Note to self: please don't be so blur tomorrow morning.....
So the thing that got me upset and sad last evening....was that my cousin Brenda has chosen to take back some control of her life and stop all medical treatments for her cancer and focus on palliative care at home instead. Granny was her god-ma too...
She's such a strong person, always so positive and cheerful in whatever situation she may be in. She's smart and articulate, writes very well, cooks very well, draws very well. She's very good with gardening and all sorts of crafts too.
She'd been updating all her friends on FB all these while on her journey with cancer, how it was first diagnosed, her hopsital visits, her recovery, the relapse in 2018, how she was battling it, how these 2 weeks have been very challenging. For awhile, she also documented her journey when she was a writer with The Smart Local.
And finally yesterday, she posted on FB that she'd decided to just focus on palliative care instead.
I'm sure she had her reasons and she'd probably already discussed things with her doctor team and immediate family.
The news broke my heart though. She'd been fighting for so long and keeping up with her upbeat and positive attitude.
I started crying.
But I was also handling the 2 girls and their homework at the same time. They didn't understand what happened to me. I tried my best to handle their work and managed to read a Chinese story to Alyssa first before I sent them to the dinner table and took some time out to myself.
I called & informed my parents, then spent 10-15mins crying and then tried to compose myself, before going back out again and joining the girls for dinner.
They asked if someone had passed on. Nadya was old enough to know such things and Alyssa just mimicked her question. I said no and explained the situation to them as best as I could. Alyssa gave me a hug and Nadya patted my hand. I don't think they understood much of what I was saying but they got an overall gist that my cousin was very sick, may pass on and I was feeling sad over it.
===============
Brenda,
You won't see this but I wish you and Noel all the very best in these few days, weeks, months. I pray that the biggest E will continue to grow and excel in his job and contribute to the family. I pray that E2 and E3 will grow up well too. May E2 inherit your cooking and creative genes and whip up lovely dishes and do up lovely craft projects. May E3 do well in his studies. May Noel stay strong. And lastly, I know when you are weary, you will go Home into His arms. That is your wish. I want you to know you have touched the hearts of many of us with your positivity and strong spirit.
It was an emotional day for me yesterday. I'd already started out abit emo during the day but the day still went well overall. And then evening came and ....
1. I found out a piece of sad and upsetting news. I bawled my eyes out. More in another post.
2. I discovered a pot of aloe on my balcony was toppled over. It might have lain there for a day or two already given that the strongest winds blew on Monday or Tuesday.
3. While trying to save that pot, the clumsy me overturned another pot of byrophyllum. Nabeh, so then I had 2 pots of plants to save and to clear up all the soil from the ground.
4. After settling the pots (the girls were so sweet and helped me out) and showering, I put on my favourite pair of pants I wear for sleeping, tugged on the drawstring to tighten it and then...TMD....*SNAP* the drawstring broke....Put on another pair of pants. Glad that I still managed to salvage the pants by using a spare black shoestring I had and using that instead....
I just topped up my EZ link card via the EZ link app. Suaku. a year ago when I was still taking the bus home, I'd still be topping up my card via those machines at the MRT station.
I only just discovered today that I could actually top-up via the app. Yeah while it may be a little risky cos my card details is in the app now....but still.....oh the convenience!
Wonder what other stuff this frog in the well hasn't discovered yet....:)
I should add Nadya's card to my app so that I can top-up her card this evening...
Started crying when I heard Ryan from NOC mention this in a video:
"There was a period of time when I felt guilty to be happy. Like I shouldn't be too happy and I can't be too happy. Because who knows, sadness is just creeping up in the corner. Someone out there will "punish" you for being happy. This happiness and success will not last long and you better be prepared for the bad things that are about to come.
It was a toxic mentality and it took me a long time to get out of those thoughts.
A friend reminded me that you should live in the moment and appreciate what you have achieved. Celebrate the small wins. Stop worrying too much about the future or about what might come. Life is a series of ups and downs. That's how life works. Any ups are not meant to last forever anyway so own it and enjoy it when it comes. Just don't keep focusing on the what-ifs and the downs that may come. Because there will still be other ups that will come after those downs.
We deserve to celebrate when a milestone is met or an achievement is reached. And we need to stop constantly looking for the next thing to do or the next achievement to reach because it will never end. And it'll all just get too taxing eventually."
Maybe I cried because it was very authentic. And it resonated with me because sometimes, I have these thoughts too.
Still learning and trying and reminding myself each day to be thankful and appreciate what I have right now, not to worry too much about what may come and to celebrate victories, however small they might be. Go for it, make things happen.
K is having reservist these 2 weeks. While he can still send Nadya to school on most days, I need to send Alyssa to school and pick both girls up from separate places in the evening: one from childcare and one from student care.
Then when we get home I need to settle their shower, work and dinner....
Yesterday, while helping the girls with their work, I was bending over most of the time...bending over their desks, which aren't exactly very high. When they were done and I was clearing up one of the desks...I bent over and then....
OW...
TMD.....
Right lower back started hurting...couldn't even sit properly...
It got better later on and I could sit with less difficulty but.....back's still aching after a night's rest. Can't do stretching much for now cos it aches when I stretch too much...
Sigh....
Stared at the 2 girls last night while they were sleeping. And suddenly got overwhelmed by the love I felt for them. Started kissing their faces and stroking their hair.
May you grow up well Nadya & Alyssa. Be strong and courageous and independent. Dream big and soar as high as you want to. Mama & Dada will support the both of you always.
XOXO
Sometimes I get comments from colleagues like "It's Michelle leh! (of course the work is good)" or "Don't worry, we have our guru Michelle here with us."
I don't profess to know alot. I am still learning things and finding out little nuggets of info here and there, even after 13 years with the company. Neither am I exceptional, compared to some others out there and I am vastly pale in comparison to the scholars.
So sometimes it does make me a little uncomfortable when I receive such comments. I may feel "shiok" when I first hear them but actually, I don't want this to create unnecessary false impressions and high expectations of me from others, especially people whom I've just met.
I don't want to disappoint or fall short you know. Like..."I thought Michelle was a 9/10 but actually after working with her, I realised she's only a 7.5".
Breathe Michelle. One thing at a time.
One thing at a time.
One thing at a time.
One thing at a time.
One thing at a time.
I'm suaku. I know Korean Fried Chicken (KFC? haha...) has been around for quite awhile but I've never really tried it.
Was at Ally's place on Boxing Day but I only had maybe 2 small pieces of the chicken that I ordered from ChickenUp. It was not too bad so I thought I'd order some today to try again. Ended up with 4Fingers as it showed up on my Deliveroo app that was near us.
I ordered the fried chicken bites with soy sauce.
I didn't enjoy it. Too heavily seasoned for me. Too salty, too sweet, too fried....I think I was fine with 2-3 bite-sized pieces or maybe 4 pieces if I stretch it a little. I was struggling beyond that...taste was cloying and over-the-top....Even MacDonald's (for all its junk/preserved/processed food titles...) feels cleaner & lighter to me haha.
If all such Korean fried chicken have sauces like this...then I think it's not my cup of tea...
I prefer simpler chicken lol...grilled, roasted, BBQ-ed, lightly fried, not too much batter or sauce...simpler and more bland works pretty good for me lol....
I must be one of the rare folks around who doesn't like Korean Fried Chicken...
Stephanie & Jeremy moved out 1.5mths ago. Serene & Chin are shifting out next Monday. Suddenly our 2 closest neighbours are gone. One rental tenant's coming in I think and Serene's unit was sold to a lady from China with a young kid and a husband from not sure where.
I hope they're nice and that we can get along well with them like how we got along pretty well with Stephanie & Serene's families.
===============
Been itching since 3 Jan. Not sure what triggered it. Dust? Hamsters? Food I ate?
Eyes itch from time to time and they feel better after eye drops. Face is itchy, especially the cheeks, and skin feels tight sometimes. Nose is flaky. Sometimes my forehead near the eyebrows are also dry. Nostrils are itchy and sometimes I rub my nose so much it feels raw and the skin turns red. Sometimes my nose feels stuffed up and difficult to breathe.
There are strange times when even the soles of my feet itch.
Been holding off on popping any Zyrtec. Maybe I should pop one soon? To get rid of any allergy I might be having?
===============
Renovation at Serene's unit will probably start in the next 2 weeks. Heard that it'll be a major reno as the new owner mentioned to Serene that they want to do a major overhaul and remove all existing fixtures and fittings in the unit.
:( I hope they don't hack away the marble and parquet flooring. I hope it doesn't get too dusty also.
My nose, eyes and skin cannot handle anymore dust...*wails*
2021. For the year ahead, I hope to:
22 Dec 2020 to 5 Jan 2021.
Still had to contend with clearing some work. Sometimes even clearing email drafts via Whatsapp or Teams on my phone. Ran various errands. Did some frantic Xmas shopping and wrapping of gifts. And packed parts of the house.
Didn't get to rest or nuah as much as I hoped to. But oh well...just gotta suck it up.
Spent some time to declutter my online stuff as well.
2020 went by in a jiffy. It was a blur to me. Days and weeks and months melded together.
While there were losses, there were gains as well and more importantly, I think the gains outweighed the losses.
I started working from home in March and my last day in the office was 21 March 2020. Circuit Breaker started in the first week of April and it was madness for that 1-2 months. Home-based learning took alot out of me. Juggling Nadya's online and offline schoolwork, with Alyssa's offline worksheets, and my own work brought me numerous challenges. I was a frantic octopus, kancheong spider and impatient bull all rolled into one. I suddenly had to deal with meal planning on a daily basis too, not just the weekends. And not just one meal a day but at least 2 out of 3 main meals.
April and May were challenging alright. I lost count of the number of times I made Nadya cry early in the morning when I was trying to supervise and guide her in her work. Math was especially challenging and my BP must have been higher in those 2 months too.
It was a big relief when June came and schools were allowed to reopen. No more videos for kindy lessons and no more primary school online lessons. No more lost tempers lol.
Other challenges included things like not having a proper work desk and chair, not having access to aircon the entire day, having discussions via concalls and video-calls, handling new bosses, etc. There was a period of time I was working on my bed everyday. Till I had various aches. I ended up with a very small desk and a swivel armchair that I managed to squeeze into a corner of my bedroom. The rest of the issues...well, you just live with things and get used to to them.
And...the good stuff that happened in the year that I am thankful for.
There are definitely some other good stuff that I am thankful for but I'll stop at these main ones...
May 2021 bring an abundance of good stuff to the girls, K and I. And may we stay blessed, happy and healthy always. Onwards and upwards!! Huat ah!
And suddenly....whoosh! Xmas Eve and Xmas Day 1 is over.
I think I've not been eating enough carbs these few days + neckaches + some measure of anxiety and frustration have led to me feeling a little fatigued and exhausted on some days. Especially on Xmas eve and even on Xmas morning itself.
Some frustration because...I took 2 weeks' leave to have time to unwind and have some time to myself and settle the things I want to settle (packing the house, nuah-ing, etc)...but I ended up still having to handle some pieces of work, and there are also some team lunch obligations I have to deal with. I'm anti-social these days...I don't want to keep meeting office folks, especially NOT WHEN I AM ON LEAVE. But some obligations...I cannot quite refuse...sigh. I don't deal very well these days with too many social stuff. Drains me of my energy.
A little grouchy, a little touchy, a little sensitive, and a little itchy.
Itchy cos...I've been doing packing and throwing things away. And stirring up dustballs. My eyes are a little itchy, my nose is a little irritated and my face is itchy too. I wear a mask at home now when I'm packing lol.
Just want some quiet time tonight...to either watch videos, listen to chill music, or colour or read...
And oh ya, reminder to myself to take more carbs like rice and noodles...I need the starch...it's like my battery fluid.
And oh oh ya, K packed the storeroom yesterday and emptied half of it...We threw away tons of stuff. I'm happy. :) 6.5 years of accumulated junk. Reduced to half...yay. My own Marie Kondo...
Please be careful.
Please keep your eyes off your phone when you are crossing the road.
If you want to kill yourself on the road, by all means, we will respect your decision.
But please don't bring harm to innocent drivers.
Don't suddenly appear from behind a parked tall van and continue crossing the road, head down and concentrating on the phone, like you own the road and the whole world will stop for you.
Please be careful.
You are someone's sister, daughter, mother, wife, friend and loved one too...
Today was one of those days I felt I did alot of things haha..
Had dinner with some of the Duckies today. EH, G & SS.
A 40yr-old, a 43 yr-old, a 49yr-old and a 62yr-old. lol...Odd combi lol...
Conversations tend to be dominated by one or 2 folks. Fine by me...but when it's like this 90% of the time, it does get a little tiring. And when 90% of the time, things are revolving around the same topic/issue, it does get a little tiring too. Wasn't a gathering supposed to be an update session of sorts from all parties?
Still, I was happy to see all of them. It's been 2 years since I last saw G & SS! How time flies. I remember how I gained the courage and inspiration to get myself checked out by a psychiatrist after I heard SS' story of how he went for counselling to overcome some of his difficulties and to learn how to manage his (very trying) relationship with his mother.
I am still thankful to this day that I had dinner with G & SS on Boxing Day in 2018.
Main topics centred around health issues today. I noticed it's been this way with a lot of catch-ups in recent years with various folks. Health, kids, work. 老了，大家都老了...
Food was good as usual at Cedele. Fish Coriander Pesto Pasta is my go-to main dish at Cedele. Always. Except that today, at this outlet at Wheelock, it had a whole lot of edamame thrown into it. At least 2-3 tablespoonfuls. I have quite some disdain for those beans and had to pick them out. Luckily they were concentrated at one portion of the pasta and the beans were big enough to be picked out easily haha.
The pasta & grilled seabass were still excellent. :)
And so yesterday...
Laoniang did a calendula peel-off face mask. I'd done it several times in the past with NO ISSUE. I even did a patch test last time to be sure I'm not allergic to it.
Just applied it yesterday and received a call from my legal counsel. Originally intended to lie in bed for awhile but with the call coming in, I started walking around and unknowingly popped by my balcony for a few minutes (maybe 5mins or less?) and then went back into my room.
After I put down the phone. I went into the bathroom and saw that the skin areas where the mask was on seemed pink...hmm...was I seeing things? Cannot be...I've used this before and I had no allergies.
Went to a different mirror under different lighting and saw the same thing. Things didn't look right so I took off the peel right away. By then the mask had been on my face for 15mins.
FML.
My face was red, even after rinsing with water. Circles around the eyes and around the mouth where the mask was not applied were ok. Skin felt quite warm too but at least it was not itchy.
All I could think of was...oh shit shit shit... I need to go to the doc now!
I looked like an idiot with a pink face and 3 circles around the eyes and mouth. K said I looked like a strawberry. How considerate of him to describe me in a nice manner.
Was quite kancheong cos...face leh!! OMG.....
So off to the doc we went...Doc said some products are rich with Vitamin A which will make the skin look plump after using, but which can be quite photosensitive i.e. dun go into the sun while using or immediately after using.
The sun?
Oh ya, I was in the balcony while using the mask....but even that partially shaded light could cause such a reaction? And I was only out there for less than 5mins too....Maybe my skin's more sensitive....
Was given anti-histamine...
I was thankful for the redness went away on its own within 30-45mins...I still popped a pill just to be sure.
K was laughing at me....and at the whole situation....lol.
I just want a peaceful December to close off the challenging year.
For some reason though, I still have...
First time ever that I had a T. Ionantha bloom under my care. As usual with Ionanthas, there were 2 stamens.
The first bloomed on 6 Dec and the second stamen bloomed and revealed its stigma this morning.
I learnt some tips from YouTube and with a small paintbrush, I've collected the pollen from the stamens and pollinated the stigmas....
Let's hope there'll be seeds in the future!
Once the blooms wither in the next few days, this plant will be pushing pups out thereafter. I hope there'll be at least 2 pups.....yay, I'm gonna be an Ionantha grandma soon!
When 5 hours of your workday was taken up by calls and meetings...
When you have other things to rush out...
When your staff are waiting for your guidance and pointers on how to proceed with difficult cases
When you bosses are waiting for your updates on policy issues that are in the Ministry's radar
When you could not read a storybook to your daughter during dinner
When your kids and husband are waiting for you to settle work and finish dinner before going out as a family for ice-cream
When you feel your stomach tensing up again
When that bloody ache in your neck and left shoulder has brought about a slight headache now as well
What gives?
Pray tell, what gives?
==========
Wolfed down dinner in 12mins because the kids and Kyne were ALL waiting for me to be done with dinner before we could head out on our usual Friday night jaunt to a dessert place. Didn't want to disappoint any of them.
I hope my stomach won't act up. Eating too fast triggers reflux too.
It's been a not so good week for my stomach...cramps last Saturday, queasiness on and off for the rest of the days...Diarrhoea on Sunday night and last night...
I hope it settles down soon. K wants to head out for another ramen fix...
When you're busy and inundated with calls and emails...and you can only start working on your to-do item for the day at 445pm.....
When you look back at your whole day and afternoon and wonder what shit have I been doing?!
The recent rains, especially the big ones that sprayed my entire balcony wet, have done some good to my airplants.
The extra nitrogen seems to be have done them alot of good. They look happier and they are greener and they have had growth spurts as well. The 3 caput medusaes are suddenly much curlier than before. The druids are plumper and one of them seems to be blushing and spiking a little. I hope this fella flowers!
I managed to collect some rainwater as well and sprayed the airplants with this rainwater on days when there was no rain...:)
**RAWR!!**
Laoniang declared war on the spider mites a week plus ago.
I first discovered them on the butterfly pea plant a couple of weeks back. So I hardened my heart and uprooted the whole plant and threw it away. It was a waste because it was the first plant that I'd successfully germinated from seeds! I have no idea where the mites came from. After I discarded the plant, I thought that was the end of the story.
Apparently not.
Nabeh.
They infested my water jasmine bonsai. *Heartpain*
My poor bonsai. It's not been doing well for almost this entire year...first, the infestation of mealy bugs....then now these spider mites.
I've been removing their webs every couple of days, and spraying neem oil on the plant twice a week for the last week plus or so.
And I've also been trying to catch these creatures. Very challenging considering they are brown i.e. same colour as the branches. They are also smaller than ants but move as fast as ants. Laoniang's eyesight isn't exactly great also. BUT I still try my best to "fight" them ok.
This morning I fought a valiant battle. For some reason, the stars aligned today and I could see many of them running away when I destroyed new webs that they had spun over the last 2-3 days. I think I squashed at least 10 or more of them today. I feel......accomplished lol.
I hope I get rid of them by the end of the year....and I hope my water jasmine starts flowering again.
It has flower buds, but...somehow the buds are not blooming. :(
Really tough to clear urgent stuff in the evenings or on weekends when the kids are home.
Every 5-10mins you get interrupted and your train of thought just fizzles up or gets fuzzy.
It is frustrating. While I try to keep my cool on the outside when facing the kids, and try to get them to understand and not disturb me, inside I'm just screaming for some peace and quiet so I can concentrate on my work, settle what needs to be settled for that point in time and then be able to spend time with the kids thereafter.
How ironical. They are keeping me from spending time with them in a better manner.
I've had mum guilt before...I mean, most mums will experience it at least once, if not ever so often.
Friday was tough for me. A challenging day that started with a call with my boss, then a board meeting, then a call with the Ministry, and then...it was just a frenzy after that with the day packed with Whatsapp calls, Whatsapp messages, back and forth emails, Microsoft Team calls, Skype messages, etc. Work continued on and off till night.
I was supposed to be on childcare leave in the afternoon as Nadya's school was closed that day. I had initially imagined some quiet time with her after bringing her for a Mac lunch and running errands at Popular. What happened was.....
I was so occupied that K, Nadya and myself left the house for lunch only at 1230/1240pm. And even then I had to make a call when I was putting on my shoes at the door and yet another call when I was in the car on the way to Mac.
After we got home, I had to cancel my leave cos well...work. I couldn't spend time with Nadya. She was hovering around me asking for attention and floating around the house cos K was doing his work as well. All I could do was to tell her to find some things to do on her own. She ended up tearing at one point. I felt gutted. Torn between my kid and a work issue that was pressing and involved the top guy in a Ministry and another top 2 big guns at another agency.
I could only hug her for 5-10mins and apologise profusely...She did up a poem and a card for me later on that had the following stuff written on it...word for word...including spelling errors...
You are a star
Shining in the wold
You shine in the darck, light and in my hart.
You are the best perent in the wold!
I love you
A shining star
Would you like a hug?
There's still another pending issue involving all the same big bosses. Trying to settle this one first before the second one...I hope my evenings and weekends are not burnt anymore.....
I'd been wanting to make jumeokbap aka Korean rice balls since a few months back.
I thought it'd be something different and fun for the girls. I try to switch things up a little from time to time to break the monotony for them...rice at times, noodles at other times, wanton this time, beancurd skin "crackers" the next time, etc....
A few weeks back I'd gotten K to grab some roasted seaweed strips and finally on Sunday evening, I tried out my first rice balls. I didn't use shortgrain rice though. Just the regular mali hom rice we have at home. Kept it simple with just seaweed, salt and sesame oil. Turned out quite nice and Alyssa loved it. Nadya said it was somewhat plain and "not much taste". I was afraid the girls would be overwhelmed by the sesame oil and didn't dare put alot.
Monday...the girls asked for ham rice balls. I made them and put more salt and sesame oil and voila, I got stamps of approval from both girls and also K haha....
Tuesday...the girls asked for cheese rice balls instead. I made them again but the cheese didn't bring as much taste to the rice balls as the ham did haha. The girls still loved it though. :)
Today's Wednesday...K is the one asking for the rice balls now haha...he wants them plain with just seaweed/sesame oil/salt and no other protein mixed in. I'd initially told the girls on Tuesday night that I'll be taking a break from making rice balls for dinner....but since K asked...I might as well make some for the girls as well...I'll see how this evening. :)
My heart is full seeing them enjoy the rice balls...haha...:D
Ah jumeokbap...something so simple to prepare and yet brings so much joy...:) I should have made them earlier!
Sushi & gimbap next? hmm...more effort needed for these though and I'll need actual short grain rice too...
I seldom have things going up to the CEO level. Used to be on the rare occasion with the previous CEO and barely any with the current one who only took over in June this year.
Had a submission going up to him 2 days ago though. And he had clarifications, which were responded to....and this morning I woke up to his email that opened with this first line....
"Thanks Michelle, good update, well done"
Wah..happy siah! haha...:D
On and off for the past week, I had achy arms, a knotted stomach, achy calves and slight light-headedness on a few occasions. Also that lump in the throat that appears when I get too much stomach acid building up...
Been a long while since I felt these. May the anxiousness ease up. Need to manage it....
Jiayou Michelle
The older I get, the more distracted I am. Or is it due to lesser time...or?
Jack of all trades, master of none. Touch and go, touch and go. I have half-done or abandoned projects here and there.
I took leave today because I have 3 meetings on Thursday. Coincidentally, it's also 11.11 today. Not sure if that's the reason why there seemed to be so many people at a mall on a weekday (no need to work or study meh?).
Mission: Personal challenge & Errands day & CNY clothes
Venue: Bugis Junction
Went there alone and started my day at 10am. Was very slightly jittery but all went well. Cos well...me being me...I'd already planned out my routes, which shops to go to, at which level, and what to get or look out for. Need to maximise efficiency since I only have limited time haha...Planning ahead helps calm my nerves...
I spent $108 for my first purchase which was made in less than 5mins lol. I was probably that cosmetics counter girl's first sale for the day and I'm glad I helped her “破鸡蛋”. Spent the next 1.5hrs buying stuff and finally met up with K who had come from home to meet me for lunch. He helped me lug back the stuff that I bought.
After lunch, he went home and I continued again for another 1hr plus almost 2 hours. Thankful that K had brought back the stuff I'd bought earlier. Else I wouldn't be able to last so long. Things can get....heh-veeeeee.
Did a round in Muji and as usual...Muji does not disappoint.
The shop I wanted to go to for my CNY dresses was closed for renovation...zzz...why so zun?! Went over to my 2nd choice shop and ended up with a one-piece jumper. The first I've ever owned. The maroon jumper caught my eye first, but I chickened out at the last minute and bought the dark blue instead. Safer for work...and probably will last longer too haha. I don't have anything remotely maroon in my wardrobe haha, save for a bright pink T-shirt and a red T-shirt but those are for casual wear.
Oh yes...I ended up being a member of BHG, SKII and also Muji...I think...我越来越 Auntie了....
Reached home at 3pm or so...and kinda crashed after that...lol. Thankful for the nap time...
All in all a fruitful day.
Glad I went through with this challenge. Handled it pretty alright...
Been a little more tense these few days. Felt bad about how rude I was to a close friend (unintentionally though...) plus was dealing with new staff joining the team.
Kind of expected my stomach to go a little haywire because I'd been tensing up in the gut area. Could feel it. Past 2 nights were a little queasy and gassy. Today a little as well.
Nevermind...jiayou!!!
Just need to manage it....Hwaiting!
I think she knows alot for her age haha...Thanks to Berries. From what I can recall....
美味可口
津津有味
鸟语花香
兴高采烈
愁眉苦脸
拍手叫好
Erm...actually 'm not sure how many of the above are actually considered idioms...but oh well...as long as she's learning something ;p
To salvage or not to salvage?
Yesterday evening before dinner.
N: Mama do you know the song "Selfish Love"?
Me: ?? I think you meant "Savage Love"? *hums the song*
N: Yaya! This is the one. Oh, so it's called "Salvage Love"
Me: LOL...Savage Love lah!!
Work volume has increased recently. One more new staff is coming in next Monday. She's pretty capable and should be able to help alleviate some of these duties after she settles in.
Thankful that she's from the industry so her learning curve should be pretty short and gentle. :)
Need to spend some time to look through all the process flows after she settles down...for both sides of the house I am looking after...
The huge heavy rains last afternoon and evening wreaked a mini havoc in my balcony. I've not checked on the larger living room balcony yet but I think that one should be ok as the pots of plants are bigger and more resilient. What I am sure of is that both balconies need to have a wipe down...and all plant trays need to be cleared of water. Gosh.
Spent 30mins clearing up my balcony earlier this morning.
The chest of drawers was wet and some had seeped into the drawers themselves. Some soil and leaves and flowers were strewn about on the floor. And my poor poor ficus ginseng bonsai and small pot of butterfly pea plant were drowning in rainwater...I think I need not water them for the next 2-3 days at least.
The big water jasmine bonsai was also drowning but less so as it was placed further in on the balcony.
I think the only plants loving the rainbath yesterday must have been the airplants lol...No need to water them these 2 days too. They probably got enough misting and soaking yesterday.
That said, I hope the rainwater brought some extra nice nutrition and minerals for all the plants! :)
Not sure what I ate last evening or if it's the environment.
Cheeks and lower jawlines have been itching on and off since last night. Soles of feet are a little tingly. Lower arms, the portion where you lay your arms on the table while typing, is also itching from time to time...
Need to drink alot of water today to flush things out.....
I saw this the other day --> The biggest failure is when you stop challenging yourself.
Tweaking that a little to something that is more palatable to me....
"One big setback is when you stop challenging yourself and when you stop learning things."
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Saw this another day....but I forgot who said it.
"Trust the hardship you are going through and know that it is shaping you into somebody who you are meant to be at the end of the day."
============
"I will figure things out. No matter how long it takes me. That is my commitment to myself."
"Not trying means it's 0% chance of success. Taking the first step and trying brings that up to at least 50% chance of success. So just do it, just try."
"There are many parts of me. Even if one part of me doesn't go well or fails, I tell myself that it is okay. I have another me in myself."
(On the many different roles we each play in our lives - mother, daughter, wife, boss, subordinate, peer, etc)
- Park Na Rae, ep 131 Master in the House.
Late to the game but oh well. :)
Just discovered this awesome singer Im Chang Jung. His song "The Love That I Committed" was on loop for quite awhile today. " A Glass of Soju" and "There Has Never Been a Day I Haven't Loved You" are very nice too.
Yes. Korean singer...;p
Side note: He looks exactly like a HK actor...but I can't remember his name....
Happy birthday Michelle!
You’ve worked hard and done well over the last one year. Keep it up! Don’t forget to look after yourself and give yourself enough rest and space to clear your mind every now and then.
Here’s wishing you many good things and may you stay blessed, healthy and happy always. May all hours, days, weeks and months be fruitful and delightful!
I can do this. Yes I can.
However difficult this project is. I can do it. I can handle it.
Bit by bit. Piece by piece. Step by step.
要相信自己，忍着，熬过去就好了。。。再多几个星期，再多两三个月（？） 就好了。
可以的，你可以的。。。坚强，咬紧牙根，勇往直前!
但也要记得别给自己压力，要放开多一点，放轻松多一点。。。
太紧绷也不能做事，也对自己的身子不好。。。
加油加油加油！！
过几天就要庆祝 the big four-O “大寿”了。
有舍感想？也不晓得。
没什么大愿望大目标。只希望家人好友和自己都开开心心，健健康康，顺顺利利， 就好了。
还有那两个小瓜平平安安就好了。
对我而言，低调舒服是最好的。收到好友的祝福，和 K 吃顿饭， 散散几步，过后自己有几小时的 me-time 就够了。
不怎么想切蛋糕唱生日歌什么的。。。
可我妈硬要在星期六晚上买个蛋糕给我唱生日歌。。。我是不喜欢焦点在身上的一个人。。嗨，不知道为什么她最近老爱 "force her ideas on others"。。强迫别人。
为了避免冲突，也就委屈点，由她去。。。
I didn't know that 10 October was apparently World Mental Health Day.
Till I saw posts about it (both sponsored and shared by friends) on Facebook.
To all who are feeling not quite themselves, who feel like they are losing their shit, who are feeling down and out, who are struggling within themselves, who are trying to make sense of what is happening, who are feeling confused and lost, who are having a difficult time, who think they are losing their grip on things, and who are overwhelmed......
You are enough.
You are brave and strong. You can do it.
Talk.
To someone.
Cry it out.
Cry it out some more.
Keep moving.
Keep going. Keep walking.
Jiayou.
Ganbatte.
============
It's been almost 2 years since the day I connected some dots and realised I was not quite myself anymore and that I was struggling. It took me some courage and effort but Sasi's openness and candid advice gave me the final courage to take that step and get myself diagnosed properly.
And so the journey began. Of challenges and hurdles, of self-love and self-discovery. Of trying, and trying again. Of managing myself, and managing myself some more.
I've been told that it's good that I am quite self-aware and am very willing and open to learn ways to manage myself.
I am thankful, for the support and encouragement from friends and loved ones and even close colleagues (and my direct boss).
For the acceptance and openness. For the non-judgement. For the strength given when I lacked it.
For the listening ears. For the time and attention given to me when I needed them.
It is however, still a lonely journey in some ways. No one can truly understand what you're feeling unless they've experienced it.
So anyway...I will keep working on myself.
Bit by bit. Little by little.
Sometimes the going gets tough and you feel like you're taking several steps back.
But 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, is still a step forward.
Even if it's 3 steps forward, and 4 steps back, I just have to keep trying.
To move forward.
Jiayou Michelle.
You are enough. You are doing good.
Keep going.
Only been less than a month that I have the 3 ladies reporting to me (officially only a week actually)....and already:
Dealing with junior officers who may not have the experience and depth, and who may have a more micro view of things, and who may not have an understanding of the stakeholders involved...
Patience is needed..
Breathe...
One step at a time...
Breathe...
I signed up for these.
So I will 勇敢面对，继续拼，继续往前走...
If at times I feel I am being treated unfairly, I may voice out...though there are some situations when I can't...and there are also situations when it might be better and easier and faster just to accept (swallow?) things and move on...
So how? LPPL
憋在心里， 还是继续走...
sometimes, it does get to me.
when public recognition went to someone else for work that i did or was a part of.
if it's my staff, i'm fine.
if it's another peer, i'm sort of fine too.
if it's the coll, no i'm not that fine.
call me petty. but no i'm not fine.
but nevermind.
what of it.
路还是要走的
工还是要做的
i know what i've put in.
i think my boss knows.
不用管闲杂人
The girls wear me out sometimes.
Especially nights when Alyssa wakes 2 or 3 times, or wets herself at wee hours in the morning. Pun intended.
But I love them loads.
And for that, I will soldier on.
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Recently, I've started becoming National Geographic Mama again...
This project started early last year. Till I ran out of ideas and animals to teach them. Back then, it was more about visuals, how the animals look like, etc.
These days, with their increased knowledge and understanding, I've ventured into explaining about the animals' habitats, sizes, diet. And how they nurture their young, etc.
Nadya asks about birds' wingspans these days (wah...!), and Alyssa asks about animals' babies and how they look like. Both ask about the animals' diet and how they catch their food lol...
Quite fun! :)
More than a year in the making. And I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel yet.
This particular project that I had to inherit from someone who left the team, is taking up alot of my time, energy, effort, brain cells and brings me much stress too.
This feels worse than a 2-year project I was handling 8-9 years ago, where we had to manage many more stakeholders, mainly external parties, and which involved more $$$.
Somehow this project involves alot less $$ but involves 10 times more red-tape and frustration. I feel like I am audited before actually being audited.
Every turn brings new info and throws new spanners into the mix. Every other turn brings added obstacles and red-tape that we (I) need to figure out how to cross. Sometimes desperately. Company reputation at stake. International relations at stake. My team's reputation at stake.
Jiayou Michelle. Hang in there.
I hope this clears up and gets settled within the next one month.
I want to enjoy my birthday in peace....
1. The world will not stop a second for you.
2. Stand up from where u fell.
3. Never lose faith as this is the path that you need to walk through
4. There is no such thing as miracle. Each individual path is pre-destined. When a “miracle” happened, it is just destined to happen this way.
From ST
Written when she was about to undergo a D&C procedure
But, she's picking herself up slowly...Jiayou gal...you may not see this...but know that I am rooting for you....
And so...this morning I received a Whatsapp message from one of my soon-to-be staff.
It was an image that read "A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way"
And accompanied by the message "Thanks for being the one!"
It was nice little perk-me-up on what started out as a rough morning....but I think...I don't know the way alot of the time though and also need help and guidance from staff before deciding which way to go..It works both ways lah...we learn from each other along the way...
Nadya gave Alyssa a Maths test yesterday haha...Alyssa got all 5 questions correct. Yay!
She also gave Alyssa a spelling test. And Alyssa got all 5 words correct too! Yay! Dog, Cat, Out, Car....and one more word that I cannot recall.
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They spent at least 4-5 hours playing, eating and bathing together from 3pm to 8pm yesterday. I was pleasantly surprised they were content in each other's company and there were ZERO squabbles.
I was proud and thankful too haha....cos that meant we had peace at home. ;p
Nadya even fed Alyssa some potato nuggets when we were at Mac for dinner. Glad she was taking care of Alyssa...:)
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Today's the first day back at school...cranky & tired kids haha.
Wonder if they can keep up the same lovey dovey momentum tonight!! Fingers crossed!
Why my registrars pattern zuay zuay...since 3 years ago so many of them pattern zuay zuay. Zuay until I headache.
Every other month there'll be some operational dua zong issue or some contractual compliance issue or some customer service issue...with some issues dragging on for a year or more. These are on top of the mergers, acquisitions, consolidations, cessations and dissolutions going on.
When I settle on issue and think I can take a small breather, another issue crops up. Xian ley!!
I look after 2 kids at home (erm...make that 3 ;p) and have to look after 3 staff and 25 registrars..I feel like a Mother Hen. No wonder I nag so much.
Breathe in....Breathe Out.....Fhuuuhhhh....
Nevermind.
Ganbatte...!!
One thing at a time...one step at a time...however slow it takes, one step forward is still a step forward. 一步一步来.....
Hopefully I can get suitable candidates fast, quickly interview them and get someone in soon. Then that person can start learning and I can offload some of these issues to her.
Got a call at 1010pm last night. Work call.
Gave me a small shock to see my boss calling me & another colleague to have a quick huddle on something.
Turned out that our ex-Min reached out to our big big lady boss...because he wanted recommendations on who to go to for registration of some domain names. Big big lady boss skipped big boss and reached out to my boss directly...and of course boss + colleague + me (aka the minions) had a quick huddle to discuss who were the most appropriate vendors to "recommend".
My boss did the rest of the work like giving out the URLs to big big lady boss, etc.
Once in a while I get such stuff...LOL.
Life of a public servant. ;p
Nadya sometimes talks to herself and blabbers imaginary things or stories to entertain herself...maybe it's her imagination working hard and her mind in overdrive.
Yesterday, while showering herself, she spoke of having metal in her brain and then stopped herself with a "Silly me, how can I have metal in my brain? Then I'll be a robot! Which I'm not!"
My workdesk is just outside the washroom and I heard what she was talking about.
I felt like telling her...."Well, I have metal in my head. 3 titanium screws to be exact. Does this make me a robot then? ;p "
But I didn't in the end...didn't want to get into a conversation with her about brain surgeries and why and how and...oh well....
I've been into Chinese macrame and knotting recently and did up a bunch of Chinese knotted dragonfly keychains. Nadya had been asking me to teach her and I kept putting it off because I felt it would be too complicated for her.
Finally showed her yesterday evening and she surprised me when she picked up the knotting quite fast. Sure, I'd helped her hold the strings together here and there so they don't get tangled up but she knew which string to go where and whether it was above or under and through which loop.
Well done Nadya!!
Note to self: Don't underestimate children, especially your own....
Right Now
Just Do It
Take the First Step
Keep Going
你可以的!
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Accept and Adapt
Accept that there are things you cannot change, like others' attitudes, behaviours, mindsets, or circumstances, the environment, whole structures
Adapt yourself then, be more flexible and tweak yourself, your approaches, your stances
It's not about undermining your values and principles
It's not about undercutting yourself
More of going about things in a different way to still meet your objective and get what you want
More of being the bigger, more open and more flexible person
But of course, still protecting yourself, your goals, your objectives
============
心胸也属要放大一些
路才能走的更远
视线才能更辽阔
Thankful
For I spied another little new shoot that appeared in the Japanese Bamboo pot...
That makes it 2 new baby bamboo shoots...
I hope for more to come and the pot can regenerate and rejuvenate itself!
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Moss rose hasn't been blooming for the past few days...Saw some new flower buds, I hope it blooms again soon....
============
Butterfly pea's speed of growth is really interesting....new branches (not even shoots or buds or tendrils) appear over 1-2-3 days. I hope our trellis works well...hmm....
Water Plum
Dropped leaves again in the last 2 weeks. Looking quite sparse compared to when it first came to me...:( I've not done anything different so I'm not sure what happened also. But there are also new growth so at least that's comforting....
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Japanese Bamboo
Yay, after months of wondering if it will make it, it sort of stabilised and now I see a new shoot poking out from the soil. To be honest, I didn't do much to it also. Just removed the browned, dead or rotted stalks that's all. And what's left were just 2 or 3 healthy stalks. Really happy to see the new shoot peeking out. May it revive and get into a big clump again!
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Ficus Ginseng
The one in the bonsai pot is doing good suddenly. Many many new growth - new leaves, new shoots, new buds. Happy to see! Hope it keeps up with this level of growth so that it'll fill out. It's been too sparse as well over the last 1-2 years.....Fed it with more organic compost so it gets the nutrients it needs to sustain its growth!
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Indian Borage
The main mummy plant is....burgeoning again...lol...I trim it from time to time and it ALWAYS comes back with a strong vengeance. I've given out countless cuttings to the extent I think her descendants have extended to Kembangan, Farrer Road, Pasir Ris, Tampines, and of course Telok Kurau. I've also thrown away many cuttings because I don't know what to do with them anymore haha...
I've cultivated 2 more pots from the numerous cuttings...and now...the 2 pots are also thriving. I've trimmed one of them recently too....
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Butterfly Pea
8 seeds sown, 2 germinated, 1 seedlings is thriving well, 1 is barely surviving and experiencing very slow growth. That's the small pot. The bigger pot cultivated form cuttings from a roadside plant is doing pretty ok. K & I set up a small trellies for its vines and stalks to latch on to...Wonder how it'll grow in the future :) But noticed it's starting to attract small little flies...hmm....
This is me.
I don't know if things need to be done in a certain way as an RO...but....I'll just do me.
We're through 8 months of 2020 already.
Like where did all those months go?! Sibei fast this year. And yeah I know I say this every year...but really SIBEI FAST this year....!!
Woke this morning feeling a little uncomfortable.
Eyes itchy, nostrils very itchy, face a little itchy, scalp a little itchy, soles of feet a little itchy sometimes as well. Fingers too.
No rashes, just these little itches. Allergy perhaps. To what? Dust mites?
When I get this way, sometimes my breathing gets abit heavier. Nevertheless, I'm donning a mask in my own home just in case its due to pollen or whatever might be in the air. Yes, I get sensitive like this from time to time. A little irritating but I live with it.
Will drink more water to flush out whatever might be in me too.
Hope this goes away soon....
God,
Please grant me
The full patience needed for dealing with the Coll
The serenity to accept what cannot be changed
The courage to change those that I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Thank you
Oral care these days involves:
I knew I didn't wake a single time last night and only woke this morning when K brought Nadya into the room and he went to wash up. So by right, it should have been a good fitful sleep. However, I feel completely otherwise. I feel like I didn't sleep much and am tired and frazzled. I realised when I woke that I had a disturbing dream too, one that left me rattled. Trying not to think about it and trying to focus on work that needs to get done.
I hope I can "wake" up more by the time my 1115am meeting with the CEO starts....I have another 4pm session with the Ministry folks. And much work today involves alot of thinking, tweaking of processes and policy work...Maybe I should soak myself in a tub of ginko juice or something...or guzzle gingko juice for my brains....
Jiayou Michelle....Ganbatte!!
Amidst the recent nervousness and stresses I had...A piece of cheery news just came along...
Can't say much for now...don't wanna jinx anything...
But yeah...:)
4th for Adrian, 6th for Mum & Dad
Now I know why mothers are naggy...
Nag/remind kids - do work, keep things, pack stuff, go to bed, eat properly, stop shouting....
Nag/remind husband - settled that issue liao bo?
Also have to nag/remind helper to do certain things...
And also nag/remind staff to do stuff....
Monday 24 Aug - The Coll announced to her current 3 staff about the restructuring
Tuesday 25 Aug - Boss announced to the whole team
Wednesday 26 Aug - I will have a chat with the 3 staff who will be moving over to my new team
Transition starts now....1 October will be official cut-over for most things...
Big Boss yet to announce to the whole division.
Not sure if Big Big Boss will need to announce to the whole group. Very likely not since it's not major news and won't affect the rest in the Group anyway.
Part nervous, part excited. I was quite apprehensive and being worrisome yesterday...to the extent I felt my anxiety symptoms coming back. I got alarmed and took steps to manage myself....
Like what K and Mas say...cross the bridge when it comes...take things in your stride too...when it comes, it comes, just have to handle...try not to worry about things which might or might not even happen...
I am thankful for Mas and ST being around in the new team...I think I will rely on them alot to keep the team running smoothly during the transition period and thereafter.
Onwards and upwards!
我可以的...!
After a 3-months plus delay...things are suddenly moving. Gears are cranking.
Full Board approval came within 2 days, with no substantive questions and only some reminders and comments.
Discussion with HR next week on recruitment for new hire already.
Internal discussions on timelines and transition plans kickstarting in the next few weeks.
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Many other things happening at the same time.
Many registrar issues and mass migrations happening. Lots of operational and planning issues. Lots of coordination, administrative and some legalities involved as well.
International relations project still hitting new things and new obstacles at every turn. Keeping up with the steam. Need to.
Mind's a little scrambled from the multi-taking.
But laoniang will survive...and emerge victorious!!!!!
Erm...fingers crossed haha....hanging in there....
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Haven't had much time to pack stuff and tend to the plants...
Hope to do so soon....
It may not seem like it.
But I am trying to work on myself everyday.
Some days more intensely than others.
It could be a simple innocuous thing like going out for a walk.
It could be something like setting a goal to spend 20mins each day packing and working to commit to it.
It could be spending 15mins to stretch and meditate everyday before I sleep.
But yeah.
It's a constant work-in-progress.
Hope to learn more along the way.
Crafts. Thoughts. Penmanship.
Cooking. Mindfulness. Leadership.
So many things to learn, improve, enrich.
Onwards and upwards!
Ganbatte! 💪
I don't like the new blogger interface. Less tidy actually.
But oh well. I don't have a choice. They're only supporting the old interface till end August I think.
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White hairs are more and more noticeable these days.
Maybe I'm home everyday now and I get the chance to stare in the mirror more often.
But still...even my baby hairs are now turning white...
Nooooo.........:(
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It is strange...conversations these days with family, friends and even K mainly revolve around kids, health and work.
When we talk about health, it almost always ends up being about eyes and lao hua (long-sightedness) or lasik....of aches and pains, especially in the neck and back....of declining stamina and attempting to get back to some shape after childbirth.....of trying to eat healthier stuff.....of trying to lose weight (though it's trying to put on weight for me haha).....of wondering why we are tired....of a lack of sleep....
When we talk about work....it's mainly about being in middle management now and either moving up or getting overlooked (and hence getting pissed over it)....about self-consciousness and insecurities about one's own capabilities....of feeling fatigue in work and trying to keep up with the motivation....and of juggling work, family, kids, and self......
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Need to remember to committ 20-30mins today to clear/pack one shelf. I remembed yesterday morning...but as the workday wore on and I got distracted by things.....I forgot to pack.
A little challenging to stick to this commitment haha.
How nice it would be to have 2 or 3 weeks' off.
K and I in a fully stocked and equipped campervan/trailer. Maybe travelling along a coastline somewhere. Parked by the beach for a few days at a time. Cooking our meals in small portable pots and stoves. Simple stews, simple grills and BBQs. Waking up to sunrises and watching sunsets. Listening to the seawaves. Sunbathing. Enjoying the seabreeze. Sitting on foldable nylon/wired chairs. Cooking, chatting, stoning.
With books and some WIFI. Clearing our minds and our thoughts. Unwinding with nary a care in the world.
Ok lah, we go rent one campervan (are there any such stuff in SG?) Park ourselves at erm....Labrador Park or ECP for 2D1N and erm camp there. LOL.
I was reading a book and it touched on one common source of stress and unhappiness - the house.
Yup, the constant state of clutter and messiness, especially in certain parts of the house does bring me stress and unhappiness. It makes me mangzang. Frazzled.
I agree with the author though, that things cannot be changed in one sitting or in a day or two. Because things are constantly moving, things are fluid and constantly changing too. We have to accept that.
Perhaps a better way to manage oneself would be to accept this fact and accept that the house will always in a constant state of “work in progress”.
I set myself a small target 2-3 weeks ago. Instead of trying to change or pack or clean everything in the house at one go and lacking the energy, time and will to do it, I’ll set aside 20-30mins each day to clear/clean/pack/declutter one area. Just 20-30mins each day should hopefully be quite achievable right?
It was working well till I had my wisdom tooth procedure. Slacked off for a week and picked it up again this morning. Spent an hour clearing an area of the girls’ stuff.
While I was happy that I threw junk away and cleaned up 2 drawers and part of a shelf, I was also a little irked and irritable. Because I was thinking to myself that the helper didn’t do a good job at cleaning. Layers of dust were clearly visible on those drawers. What the hell has she been doing?
Do I really need to be so specific to her and remind her all the time to do this, do that, clean here, clean there? Hmm...
For now, I’ll try to chill abit before talking to her about things. Don’t want to end up flaring up.
You are enough.
You are already doing it.
You are brave and strong.
You can do it.
Yes you can.
The feeling you get, when your kid likes the food you cook and asks for second and third helpings...:)
*beams*
Restructuring will be coming in a few months.
I'll be leading a new team that is really a consolidation of 2 existing teams together into one bigger team. 3 existing headcounts + 1 new hire. I'm happy with a small team. Dynamics easier to handle. It helps that there are at least 2 people in the team I trust. I hope to get a good person in for the new hire as well, my replacement really, just pegged at a more junior grade.
Part excited. New challenge to see how to improve or move forward existing workflows and tasks. And how to handle new arrows coming our way. A consolidation like this of 2 teams has never been done in the unit's 20+ years of existence.
Part nervous. Hope I am up to it. It will likely be an all-female team. Hope I can handle all the emotions lol. (It is true, more ladies in a team = more drama). I know too that there are cans of worms here and there. I just hope the cans are small, tiny, shallow ones. A very close colleague will end up reporting to me. I hope our relationship doesn't change too much. With our chemistry and understanding of each other, who knows, maybe we can get changes and improvements smoothly implemented.
Part wary. Taking over The Coll's portfolio actually. Yeah, I've not mentioned The Coll in here for quite some time. But yes, I told my boss that if she "choot pattern" and is uncooperative and not open to sharing information about current or past processes and handling of tasks, he needs to step in. He gave me his assurance and also intends to personally get involved in the whole transition. Which is good.
It'll be a learning journey starting in a few months' time right through till next year...
So on the workfront, I think my tasks and aims are more or less set in a certain direction already...
I hope I grow well in this journey...
Airplant Tally to Date
Leaves turning yellow again...I don't know why. Is this a cycle it goes through? But so often? Turning yellow means they start dropping off too...and now it looks like it's getting a quite sparse and bald again. :(
Fingers crossed that it holds out and sprouts new shoots/leaves/buds again.
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Butterfly Pea
The cuttings are doing ok, though a small branch had its leave drying out and falling off over the last few days. While they're doing ok and somewhat surviving, they are not thriving either. I don't think there's any new shoots or leaves coming out...
Seeds that I planted a month back....only one sprouted. I think I planted at least 6 to 8?
Close colleague had a call with the boss yesterday afternoon. He shared with her on the upcoming restructuring and that she'll be reporting to me thereafter.
Apparently he shared some good stuff about me too. Something along the lines of him having learnt alot of things from me and he is still learning. And that I'm organised and good in English lol...
Oh well, we learn from each other lah...I've learnt various stuff from him too! Both work and non-work stuff. And I've also learnt (and am still learning) things from junior staff as well...doesn't mean they are my juniors means I can't or won't learn from them....
p/s: My English isn't very tok-kong or what. Just so happened that I have a slightly better grasp of grammar than my team-mates...so it makes it seem like I'm very good WAHAHHAHA...
Onwards and upwards!
Voila.
Nadya's two front teeth just dropped off at her student care centre. One while she was having lunch, and the other one after lunch. They were already hanging precariously from her gums last evening. And she ended up eating some of my porridge instead. I had to cut up all her food into tiny pieces because she couldn't really bite into them....
Abit early for her to be singing "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth" though...
But still in time for..."All I Want For My Birthday is My Two Front Teeth" lol....
Yay, she's front-tooth-less like her cousin Caelee now haha...
p/s: I lost 2 teeth last week...and a week later now....It's Nadya's turn lol...
6 Aug 20
I went to remove 2 wisdom teeth at CGH. Upper left one was done by extraction and bottom left was removed through dental surgery.
It was slightly scary sitting in that chair and having my whole face covered up with surgical cloth, save for the mouth area. Strangely, I wasn't afraid of the LA injection they gave, 5 in total and 1 more in the midst of the surgery itself for I still felt some pain. The nurse said that was the most painful/scary part. I beg to differ lol.
What was really scary was when the surgeon took out the drill and started drilling my tooth to break it down into smaller pieces. The sound of the drill in your mouth was deafening and I remember thinking I hope he has steady hands and won't accidentally drill my tongue or gum...It was also somewhat scary when he was cracking that tooth into pieces (you could hear audible cracking sounds) and then trying to pry the pieces out. Oh yes tasting the bitter coppery taste of your blood in your mouth is pretty scary as well.
I was tense and halfway through the procedures, I realised I was relying on 2 coping mechanisms. One was to replay continuously in my head...visions of the girls saying "Mama you are brave and strong. You can do it! Yeah!" And the other was to pinch my left hand.
It speaks volumes when they give you antibiotics for a 5-day course....but painkillers for a 7-day course. I took painkillers for 1.5 days but I think it was highly unsuitable for me. I felt groggy nauseated and disoriented and even had fainting spells on 2 occasions. Skipped the painkillers altogether and went without. The pain and discomfort was still bearable. Took me another 1.5 days at least to not feel groggy anymore.
Anyway, it's Day 5 after the procedures.
Laoniang is still eating porridge and soft foods for every meal, including soaking bread/biscuits in milo or honey. The swelling has gone down alot though there is still some residual swelling. I've finished my course of antibiotics already. I'm still rinsing my mouth with medicated mouthwash 4 times a day. I still can't lie on my left cheek. I still can't laugh too much or smile too widely. There are times when I turn my neck to the right too quickly and my left neck/jaw area hurts. I still can't wash or dry the left side of my face too vigorously. Lower left jaw still aches when I swallow anything, even my saliva.
Hoping I will recover soon and quickly. Jiayou Michelle!
Looking forward to eating proper food again....I jio-ed K for an Astons lunch date when I've recovered. I want beef.
